Rainbow Dash Loses Her Wings

by justaponygirl

Rainbow Dash Loses Her Wings

Rainbow Dash was soundly sleeping, lying on a soft, airy cloud, having the most wonderful dream, when suddenly, it began to give way. Not the dream but the cloud, and not slowly, but very quickly, so much so that when Rainbow opened her eyes, the ground seemed like it was running towards her.

“Aah!” She jolted awake. The ground grew closer, and closer, and closer until….

CRASH!

Rainbow Dash was saved by Berry Punch, who was walking home from a busy day, carrying groceries. When Rainbow fell from the sky, she landed on top of Berry breaking her bag and the bottle of Jack Daniels inside. Berry, who was laying dazed on the ground underneath Rainbow Dash, got up.

“Rainbow Dash, what was that for? Are you kidding me? Now I have to go buy another bottle!” She trotted away, pointing her nose up in anger. “Hmph!”

“Berry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” Rainbow apologized profusely, but Berry was already long gone. “Ugh, what even happened?” She thought, rubbing her head. She looked at her waist, expecting to see her wings, but it seemed she was just an earthpony, no longer the pegasus she was before.
“AAAH!” She shrieked. “Where are my wings?” She went into a combat pose, with both legs spread outwards. Usually, to finish this pose, she opened her wings, but since she had none, it was like trying to see out of your hoof. “Oh for pete's sake! I need to tell Twilight about this.”

Rainbow Dash ran as fast as she could to Twilight’s library, narrowly avoiding civilians through teary eyes. As she approached the door, she ran headfirst onto it, swinging it open and landing on their floor.

“Twilight!” Rainbow yelled. Spike came running down the stairs.

“Oh, hey Rainbow.”

“Spike, I need to find Twilight, fast! Do you know where she is?”

“I think she went to Sugarcube corner to help Pinkie Pie with something.”

“That’s it! Thanks, Spike, you’re the best!” Rainbow said, suddenly hugging the life out of Spike.

“You're… Welcome?” He wheezed.
Rainbow booked it to Sugarcube Corner, and he busted their door down also.
“TWILIGHT!” Rainbow screamed.

“What?!” Twilight ran out of the kitchen, coming to Rainbow’s side; She spotted the problem before Rainbow could tell her.
“Your wings! Rainbow, what happened?!” Twilight asked, staggered. “Who did this to you!?”

Rainbow’s lower lip quivered for a moment, before the sky blue mare erupted into stifled sobs.

“I don’t know what happened, Twilight! One minute, I’m sleeping on a cloud, and the next, I’m a dumb, old, earthpony. Please, can’t you cast a wing spell on me or something?! My cutiemark doesn’t even mean anything anymore! Please, Twilight!” Rainbow begged. Pinkie appeared behind Rainbow in a puff of Pinkie logic with a scowl.

“Dumb. Old. EARTH PONY? WHAT’S SO BAD ABOUT EARTH PONIES, HUH?!”
Rainbow’s ears lowered.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Pinkie. I just don’t want to be one.”

"It's fine! I was just kidding." Pinkie smiled, before leaving. "Oh no! is my cake burning!?"

Twilight shook her head and sighed.

“I’ll try to help you, Rainbow. But if it doesn’t work, we’ll have to go to Zecora’s.”
Rainbow was laying on the floor, while Twilight repeatedly requested more and more books until the floor was covered in them.

“Spike, could you get that book on the top shelf?” Spike sighed and pulled iot halfway out.

“Twilight, this is a cookbook.” Twilight shook her head.

“It might still be useful. Bring it down, please.” Spike rolled his eyes and tossed it down, accidentally hitting Rainbow on the head.

“Oh no! Rainbow Dash, are you okay?!” He tried to get off the ladder, but Rainbow was already knocked out when he got down. "Sorry!"

“Woah… Where am I?” Rainbow Dash muttered wearily. It seemed she was on the Cloudsdale race track. It looked a lot like the race track she had been to when she was just a filly. No, it WAS the race track she had been to when she was just a filly. Nostalgia coursed through her body, warming her nerves like a blanket. She sighed happily at the memories that she’d had here, until she turned around.

Hoops and Dumb-bell, her old bullies were towering over her. They were much bigger, and from what it looked like, stronger. Damn it! She recoiled in fear.

“Hey, Rainbow Crash! What happened to your little wings?” Hoops mocked. “Can’t do the Double Rainboom now, can ya?” Dumb-bell laughed and nodded.

“I bet we could chuck her off the cloud right now! How’s that sound, Rainbow Crash?” She shrank back even more and shook her head quickly. They both grinned madly and Rainbow shrieked when she felt their hooves on her. They pushed her off the cloud, and what would have been muscle memory--to fly--was impossible now. She saw their faces against the sun as she felt herself hit the ground.

“Rainbow!” Twilight shouted, jolting Rainbow out of her unconsciousness.

“Augh! What?!” She shrieked, shivering from the nightmare.

“I think I’ve found a cure!” Rainbow immediately relaxed at this. “All I need to do is perform this spell…”

“Yay! Thank you, Twilight! I knew you could do it!”

“Thanks, now stand back.” She dismissed. Rainbow stood back and closed her eyes tightly.
“Da amicus meus alas…” Twilight spoke slowly, and her horn sparked until Rainbow’s wings poofed back onto her.
“Yippee!! Thank you so much, Twilight!” Rainbow rushed to give her a hug. She then promptly flew out of the bakery.

Starlight Glimmer was enjoying her new wings, and even though she felt bad that she had to steal them from a friend, the joy of being an alicorn trumped her guilt. Unfortunately, she was sleeping in the very cloud that Rainbow usually sleeps in when her wings disappeared, and the cloud began to give way.

“Damn it! I just can’t catch a break here!” Berry Punch whinged, her new bottle of Jack Daniels shattered on the dirt road.

Comments

[Hilord17]

and goes to t\see

You should fix the description. Also, I suggest making a longer description for the... well, long description.

Well, it was a short nice read.

[Catpaw616]

I felt this story was going way too fast. Also I think Rainbow should've reacted a lot more when her wings were suddenly gone. Also, Starlight took her wings because she wanted to be an alicorn? I felt that should've been explained just a little bit. After all I don't expect her to actually steal body parts for herself. Sounds a little uncharacteristic.

But either way you did ok. Those problems I mentioned above are a little glaring but I think this story is fine nonetheless.

[justaponygirl]

11426795
Thank you for your feedback!! Yeah, I really have to work on pacing... Sorry, i haven't watched the episodes with Starlight in them yet, so I just went off a ForgaLorga video. That sounds a lot dumber now that I'm typing it out...
Thanks again :)

[justaponygirl]

11426702
ommggg im so sorry i didn't see that!!! ty!! /gen

[cunyu]

Rainbow Dash ran as fast as she could to Twilight’s library

Eh I'm not a native speaker so something I probably didn't comprehended. But did it mean Starlight glimmer appeared before season 4 ?

[Lulamoon-Crystal]

It was okay but, but I felt it was a bit rushed. I know it’s exciting to finish a story and show everyone, but it will be worth it to take your time and work on at at your own pace. Also, there were a few errors in some places. A few proofreads could help

It was an interesting read, but I think bit more could have happened in the story. But the more you practice the better you’ll get

[Catpaw616]

11426997
Anytime! Although my advice is when writing characters, you should watch more episodes of them in the actual show so you can get a grasp of their characteristics, what they like and dislike, and try to match their personalities into the stories. Once you have time to watch the episodes of course. It helps them to not be uncharacteristic, and their motives will not be confusing.

Or, if you like, you can PM me about good writing advice when it comes to Starlight. After all she is my favorite character in the show (and even all time maybe) so I can give you some helpful tips if you want to write her again!

[Huk]

As others already said, the story felt rushed. The concept is fine, but the pacing is way too fast, and the transition between the scenes feels very 'jumpy.' I would say this story could use at least another thousand words to flesh out the scenes properly.

Still, it deserves a like for the ending. Poor Berry Punch, those things are not cheap, you know

11426795

Sounds a little uncharacteristic.

Um, does it? I mean, she stole ponies' cutie marks in the show, so...

[Catpaw616]

11427077
If we're being fair, that was when she was evil. Now that she's reformed and taught the ways of friendship, she should've learned to not steal them again. Unless this story takes place just barely after the Season 5 finale.

[Huk]

11427256

Fair enough .

[justaponygirl]

11427028
Oh my god!! I really need to watch the show more. Iirc, Twilight doesn't live in her library anymore after she meets Starlight? So sorry, I haven't watched the rest of season 4 yet!!