I've spent almost twenty years of my life writing fanfiction. Something is clearly wrong with me, especially if I'm writing about pastel cartoon ponies now.
After the Crusaders nearly destroy the town AGAIN trying to get their Cutie Marks, Twilight sits them down to tell them some fairy tales with rather unconventional morals and endings in hopes that it will teach them a lesson in patience and how to go about getting their Cutie Marks without causing too much property damage and risk to life and limb...
And just in case it doesn't…well, it's a good thing she always has a Plan B...
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You! You're alive!
Nice and your alive yes
5754086 I'm surprised too.
5754322 Yes, I am
Sugar mines? Did some manner of world-supporting pachyderm crash into Equestria in the distant past?
It's really nice to see the occasional not-horrible thing in your Equestria, and this is one of them.
The sad thing is that this didn't exaggerate much. Of course, that's where the humor lies. Thank you for a guilt-inducingly funny story.
5754436 No, the sugar is actually the desiccated remains of an ancient horror. Or maybe its poop.
What other not-horrible things are there?
You're welcome! A pity it's not a stretch to imagine some of this, is it?
5754448
How you made the Mane Six immortal, the Evil League of Evil concept, Twilight's unfettered power...
You've come up with plenty of ideas that are unambiguously positive.
5754463 Yes, those were positive. This story is probably a stand-alone world compared to most of those, though. Unless you think it should be otherwise.
Very amusing. Be having of an upvote.
This line should probably be italicized and separated by header lines from the rest of the text.
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw2604_small.jpg
5754753 Whoops, thanks for catching that.
I don't think she jumped from the roof because she thought she could fly...
And a happy ending for everyone!
Even Spike!
Wait, hang on, isn't that against the law or something in your stories...?
(I jest. Mostly.)
I don't normally favorite one shots, but this one was a gem.
5755494 What other reason could there possibly be?
5755989 Hey yeah, he DID get a happy ending! I should change that...
5756518 Thanks!
5756822
In the end of the story you revealed that slaves are scarred with a branding iron, so that they can never get a cutie mark. She had a lot of reasons to jump.
5756831 Nah, that's just for the Crusaders. Plenty of other slaves get Cutie Marks in it, hence why they are slaves, as said before. Refusing to let them be slaves like their Cutie Marks entails would be just as bad as locking up ponies with Cutie Marks in rape or murder! It would be discrimination!
5756848
That's what the story said. The story also said that the earth pony was stupid enough to jump off a building thinking she could fly. Stories say a lot of things.
5757300 They certainly do
OP Twilight's kind of a dick.
It'd actually be funny if she came back and every task was done terribly.
5785826 It would be funny…until she decided on punishments...
5785885 Pfft, she wouldn't hurt kids.
....
Wait...
5787513 Yes?
5787757 why didn't she use magic to show them a possible if they kept crusadi?
5789017 As if that'd stick.
5789028 ...What's the meaning of life?
5789034 42
You know for some reason that ending surprised me, near the end i thought that ending would of involved Twilight calling Starlight out of nowhere to cast her spell and would of had the crusaders cutie mark appear for a few seconds only for them to be ripped off and replaced by equal sign's.
Of course this story predates that episode so i don't know why i thought of that.
6129053 Why would Starlight help?
6129827 I really don't know, it was just where my mind went, maybe she had made a deal with Twilight, or maybe she had jumped at a chance to "Save" three fillies from the "horrors'" of Cutie Marks before they had the chance to know them.
6130113 Yes, but I don't think she can give anyone Marks.
6130562 True, though i see it more as she is drawing out there Cutie Marks from inside them, then ripping them off of them.
6132367 I think she can only do that if the Marks are already there.
6133196 True, but it was just a thought, though Starlight is still the only known character to be able to effect Cutie marks at all (other then maybe Zecora using a potion) which is the reason i thought of her.
Warning Rant
All of the lessons in the stories are broken aesops. The worst of them is the first, there was nothing that Sky Dreamer could have done. A much more accurate moral would have been "don't be a slave". That is like saying don't be an Earth Pony.
The third story is almost as bad. It was prejudice that sent Golden Wheat to make advances. If she had been accepted, there would have been no changes.
The aesops the c.m.c. come up with would be much better morals for those stories.
P. S. This is my first comment on this site. Wether that is a good or bad thing you can decide.
6251559 Yeah, you're probably right. Then again, it's not like we haven't had our fair share of Broken Aesops in the show proper.
I'm gratified and honored to be the recipient of your first comment on this site.
6251632
Wow,you responded quickly. I am really happy you took it so well. I was worried it sounded too much like hate mail. Also, despite my complaints, this was a very funny story. It is great as the satire and whatever else you meant it to be.
6251651 I'm aware my story is ridiculous and maybe a little offensive, but I just wrote it for my own amusement. I knew going in not everyone would like it.
This was hilarious, both in the utterly casual revelation of endemic racism and slavery in Equestria, and in the persistent, willful obtuseness of the CMC. I've seen quite a few variants of the "Ooops, turns out Equestria is actually a crapsaccharine dystopia" idea, and this is one best and funniest.
The family-unfriendly Aesops of the stories become even more hilarious in hindsight, since the writers of the show inadvertently gave us the moral that the CMC were completely right all along and everything the grown-ups told them was wrong. They didn't get their cutie marks for things that they were naturally talented in and already good at, and trying completely random things (such as running off alone into the dark unfamiliar woods to find a wanted criminal) paid off in the end, when they unwittingly got into a situation that was sort of vaguely similar to something they did once, months earlier.
Thus the moral of your framing story, "
Be careful what you wish forDon't be a f*cking idiot," is actually a better one than we got from the show!6890234 Thanks! The fact that you think I did something better than the show is flattering as well as terrifying.
This chapter felt WAY too mean-spirited..... This isn't canon series-wise is it?
I hope not.
8251832
I meant as far as your series is concerned.
8251858
This is a stand-alone. Probably.
8251868
Good, 'CAUSE this is way too dark, even by the previous chapters standards.
. . . you know that whole enslavement thing might be about to expire faster then anyone realizes. . . Twilight is really going to regret making a lesson on Silverwear placement seeing what happened the last time i read a fanfiction about that.
8254638
Starlight brought her BACK.
8255637
That time, after storming the afterlife, next time Starlight might not feel like it, . .
8257098
And then SHE can become Princess!