• Member Since 3rd May, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Tuesday

Jake Was Here


It starts when Rarity and Fluttershy awaken from unremembered dreams, recalling only dread and melancholy – then it spreads to all the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Something ominous looms over their sleeping heads, subtler and yet far more sinister than any enemy they have ever faced, something that both threatens them and offers them a chilling temptation. If they are to stand their ground, they must stand together, for that is all that can hold it back.

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 16 )

As a proud member of Clan Campbell, I must take issue with Rarity's objection to green plaid. :rainbowdetermined2:

Other than that, glad to see you on here, and I'm anxious to see where this goes. :pinkiehappy:


I think that about half of the people I've ever met who claimed to be descended from the Campbells were telling the truth. Not all the rest were liars, though -- I suspect most of them WANTED it to be true, and so told the story, but didn't know for sure. All I can say is that God forbid I should ever be mean enough to bear a grudge against a Campbell, or anybody who claims to be one; I think the pattern that so offended Rarity's eye is more meant to resemble one of those "trucker plaids" you so often see as the outermost layer of a thick winter jacket. It bemuses me that those plaids are always green or red.

My family's Mormon; genealogy's a big thing for them. My mom traces family trees like a boss. Her dad came down to the US from Nova Scotia, and she was able to trace his family back to when they came over from Scotland.

I didn't realize dubious claims of Campbell descent was a thing. That's really weird to me.


Oh, there are people who will claim dubious descent from just about any famous person. I suppose it's uncommon to live with a name like Wallace or Revere or Mendelssohn or Melville or Einstein without suspecting there's a blood relation.

You're building the mood really well with the disturbing undercurrent of fear and anxiety. As Pinkie would no doubt say, Eeeeeeerie! :pinkiegasp:

Poor, poor Pinkie Pie. :pinkiesad2:

This is shaping up a really good story.

Woah. That's a damn effective nightmare, and hits Twilight with her love of and desire to preserve ancient knowledge right where it hurts.

Beyond that, I think part of what's so horrible about it is that it's the kind of thing that, for all she knows, could actually happen. The others' dreams were blatantly unrealistic, though emotionally powerful; but Twilight, rationalist that she is, would be better equipped to dismiss such a dream. But seeing the same thing happen to modern Equestria that happened to the ancient civilizations of the pre-classical era, being ground to dust by time, barely remembered and often wrongly at that, and even worse simply irrelevant to the daily lives of whoever's around... If I'm reading it right, even the electronic guide was a discarded relic. The site was no longer even a tourist attraction, and whatever civilization had lamented the lack of information on Twilight's era could have been ground to dust as well, taking whatever traces were left of Celestia's and Luna's reign with them.

That's the kind of revelation that would just kill her. And it's something she might believe could actually happen.

You know, I think that dream conveys the despair of realizing one's insignificance on a cosmic scale better than anything I ever read of Lovecraft's. (Although, I consider him a much better idea man than he was a writer; other people doing better things with his ideas than he did isn't an entirely new thing.)


My own theory is that when the technology boom hits Equestria, magic is going to make miniaturization faster to the degree that they'll have to write their own version of Moore's Law. The "electronic guide" is simply their version of an iPhone -- I did quite a bit of glancing at my own phone while trying to describe the box -- but you are also dead right about it, too, being a relic. (I originally had some idea about colony ships taking off from Equestria, or showing the mechanism whereby Celestia and Luna's powers over day and night were regulated after their departure... but I couldn't fit any of it into the dream, so out it went.)

And as the last paragraphs imply, Twilight's not the only one who had a dream like that this time.

What caught me by surprise while writing this chapter, though, was the effectiveness of having the box sputter the way it did. I thought it might be a little corny, but as I went back over the monologue looking for bits to use, I realized how ominous some of the phrases sounded out of context... especially when I began rearranging them into a new context. By the end, it seems almost to be uttering threats. That works for me as well as just about anything else in the dream.

Oh dear. The dreams are really sinking their hooks into Twilight and her friends, aren't they?

I wonder if this is going to get even worse before it gets better... :fluttercry:

Twilight's dream sort of reminds me of the Babylon 5 fourth season finale, Deconstruction of Falling Stars.

Also, "There's A Dead Salmon Frozen In A Waterfall" is a delightfully strange chapter title.


As flattered as I am to hear that, the chapter titles are quotes, rather than originating with me. I won't go into detail, but go ahead and look them up if you don't mind spoilers. :scootangel:

You are building up some wonderful dread here, which is what I live for when it comes to dark stories. I'm also really interested to see if/how much these dreams tie into the Elements of Harmony. It seems like being deeply linked to ancient magical artifacts would have some effect on one's personality.

You also have such a strange set of main character tags. Celestia? Mr. Cake and Big Mac? I'll roll with it though. :trollestia:

Yes, I didn't find that cheesy at all. As soon as it dawned on me that the box was "speaking", I was hooked, combing through each line for hidden meanings. Awesome.


The "character list" is basically everybody who's not the Mane Six and has an important or speaking role in the story; if not for the 5-character limit, I would have added Princess Luna as well.


Well, it is certainly enticingly spooky, I'm happy I read it.

I have to say that Lovecraft's writings, and derived/inspired writings, have never done much for me personally, as the whole, "you are an insignificant speck on an infinitely large canvas, and all your work amounts to less than dust in the wind," schtick has been my personal point of view since I was around 12 years old. However, it can set a nice and spooky mood sometimes.

I mean, I love the mythos, but the actual texts don't do much for me.

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