Scootaloo's Visitors

by luigitime22

Visitor 3: Discord

Of all the caretakers Scootaloo might receive, every single citizen of Ponyville agreed that things couldn’t get more unpredictable than when Discord took up the duty. (Though Pinkie Pie was a close second.) Pretty much everyone was surprised when Discord first took the job, but Discord claimed that doing the unexpected was as chaotic as one could get, and nobody could really argue with that claim. Furthermore, Discord hadn’t really caused any serious threats in quite some time, and was known to be close to the Crusaders already. As a result, the residents of Ponyville agreed it was fair to let Discord have a go at it. He had done it a few nights by now, and it always proved to be quite the occasion when Discord came over. He had previously opened a wormhole to outer space, which turned into an extensive adventure for the duo as Discord took Scootaloo on a cosmic tour and destroyed some asteroids.

This time Discord walked through the door with a baseball bat.

“What’s the bat for, Discord?” Scootaloo asked. Innocent enough question.

Discord instantly snapped his paw and the two were at a baseball field. Along with Twilight Sparkle. And Rainbow Dash. And Applejack.

Actually quite a few ponies were there, and from the looks of it, none of them saw this coming.

Twilight sighed. “Discord, why are we all here?”

“Well isn’t it obvious? We’re going to play a game of baseball, because it’s my night to watch Scootaloo and I thought we’d have some fun.”

After some general mumbling and checking the schedules, it turned out Discord’s claims were legitimate and everyone resigned themselves to this fate as Scootaloo got into her seat in the audience.

“Just one problem, Discord,” Twilight said.

“What’s that?”

“We don’t have anypony to play against.”

Discord looked about, realizing Twilight had him there. “Hmm, yes, you might be right. Well, that’s easy enough to solve.”

With a snap, nine more Discords showed up to be the opposing team. Soon enough, the game began. Twilight Sparkle wound up being the pitcher as the top of the first inning kicked into gear, with Scootaloo right at the front stands.

Discord #5 turned out to be a lousy batter, and was rather easily dispatched by Twilight via strike-out.

Discord #3 actually did manage to hit the ball, but it was a pop-fly and caught by Pinkie Pie.

At this, Discord #3 attempted to launch a complaint, saying that “the sun was in my eyes.”

After Rainbow Dash not so subtly pointed out that the moon was out, Discord #3 was ejected from the game in great humiliation.

Discord #2 got slammed in the face by an intentional pitch after he insulted Celestia. Bean ball, Discord #2 marched onto first base while dancing to polka music.

Discord #8 struck out, ending the top of the first inning.

Discord #8 attempted to launch a complaint, saying that “the moon was in my eyes.” Scootaloo burst into laughter while Rainbow Dash ejected Discord #8 from the game.

The bottom of the first inning went pretty much the opposite way. Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy all slapped the ball past the short-stop, transitioning into a grand slam from Bulk Biceps, complete with a “YEAH!” Discord got a double, followed by another double from Spike, a home run from Rarity, another home run right after that from Applejack, and then Trixie hit the ball out of the park.

Soon the score was 27-0 in the bottom of the first inning before Team Ponyville intentionally struck out through sheer boredom. Discord got annoyed and walked up to his duplicates.

“You guys are TERRIBLE!” He announced. All the opposing Discords grumbled in annoyance, as the ponies prepared to destroy them in the top of the second, complete with an in-depth chart Twilight made on optimal pitching and fielding strategy. The team was ready to go to battle, and lay waste to the opposition.

Which is exactly what happened.

Discord #10 bunted the ball, rather easily getting eliminated by Rainbow Dash.

Discord #9 struck out. The wind-up on the third pitch was so intense, the Discord spawned a tornado from the spin afterwards. He was promptly put in time-out and ejected from the game by Discord.

And Discord #5 struck out. To the surprise of all involved, he didn’t launch any complaints.

After some consultations, the mercy rule got declared, much to the annoyance of the opposing Discords.

After that, Twilight looked over the box scores while Scootaloo came down to where everyone was talking.

“That was the most boring game ever! Can’t your clones actually play right?” Rainbow Dash complained.

“Well, it’s hardly my fault if they got the game mixed up with field hockey,” Discord rebutted.

Discord #9 attempted to exit the dugout, but everyone glared at him. Discord promptly snapped him out of existence.

“I simply must apologize for #9’s behavior, I should have realized after the go-karting incident he wouldn’t be good tonight.”

“Yeah, keep him from coming next time we have a game night. I don’t want him body slamming us or somethin’,” Applejack grumbled.

“Now, it’s not my fault he poked your tires!”

“Technically, it is.”

“Well, I never! The nerve of some ponies. I should have brought Big Mac instead.”

With that, Applejack was popped away, back to the farm. Twilight only briefly looked up from the box scores.

“Twilight, how was my batting tonight?” Discord asked.

Rookie mistake.

Twilight instantly launched into a deep dive on everyone’s batting averages and strengths, though it was largely positive, given how incompetent the opposition proved to be.

“Great job, Discord, you set her off!” Rainbow moaned.

“Do let me know when she’s done,” Rarity said, now knitting.

Scootaloo chuckled.

“Well, this turned out to be less eventful than I expected,” Discord said. “Thank you everypony for coming. I would distribute MVP awards, but I think Twilight will try to make a deep dive on the box scores to try and deem the ‘most valuable player’ and then we would all be stuck here for another half-hour. As a result, nopony gets the trophy tonight.”

This was met with several groans, barring from Fluttershy and Rarity, who didn’t care.

“Well, I must be on my way now. Goodbye!”

With that, Discord and Scootaloo vanished, leaving everyone stranded on the field. Except Fluttershy, who was conveniently returned to her home.

Discord and Scootaloo showed back up inside Scootaloo’s room, complete with her bed made and ready. “Now then! That was less chaotic than I had hoped.”

Scootaloo smiled. “Don’t worry, Discord. I had a fun time! Thanks for coming over again.”

“Anytime! I always love an opportunity to get to annoy Rainbow Das-”

Discord noticed Scootaloo raising an eyebrow.

“APPLEJACK! Yes, that’s right. Always a fun time annoying Applejack.” At this, Discord picked Scootaloo up and launched her into the bed. Somehow, rather than slamming into the wall, she stopped directly above the bed, turned ninety degrees, and dropped safely.

This didn’t even faze Scootaloo, given who was responsible. “Goodnight, Discord.”

“Goodnight. Waffles in the morning!”

As Discord turned off the light and went upstairs, Scootaloo could hear Discord trying to decide what shapes and sizes he should make the waffles.

Scootaloo smiled, and headed to sleep.

Author's Note:

IDW Friends Forever Issue 2 actually established Discord as being really close to the Crusaders, so I thought I would bring him into the fun. Thank you all for the positive reception, and I hope you enjoyed this one as well.