• Member Since 13th Oct, 2018
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Timegal25


Transbian Writer who is trying to put out stuff more frequently. She/Her Check out my Ko-fi if you like my stuff!

Comments ( 4 )

...You know a bit too much for my comfort, but I'll let it slide. Just don't blame me for what happened to her. She shouldn't have messed with my sis.

Nicely done!

...I am part of her. I call her my sister, but I'm a mental construct. There to help when she feels alone and afraid. When she needs someone to talk to.

This one isn't mine, but I still feel a connection to her anyways. Don't worry, sis, I'll be there for you whenever you need me.

Anyways, well done. Don't let the like-dislike ratio bother you, write how you want to write. :)

I wanted to read the whole thing before commenting, I have a bad habit of jumping the gun when I read something and have questions about it. I'm glad this found its way on my twitter feed.

I have the benefit of having gone into this story mostly blind. I know about Cupcakes though I've never read it. That was all the context I needed, because this story is pretty accessible for anyone reading it, long as there is that basic context. This story does a lot of work, and I'm honestly surprised at how well it all works. Not everything needs to be spelled out, a lot of it can be inferred, but that also makes a desire to want to read what happens next.

The pacing really helps. I often find it hard to start a story because the pacing is poor, the chapters drag, or something to that effect. This story has polish, it flows very well, the pacing is on point, and the feel of reading what's happening gives just a little bit of dread to the reader, like maybe they're going crazy too. I do think I missed something by the time I got to this conclusion though. It does feel like something has been wrapped up in this story, but I don't have a firm handle on just what. It doesn't really matter, this isn't the kind of story where I expected a traditional happy ending to happen. Overall I can say this was a good experience, and I don't get to read many well written stories like this, so that was a bonus. It does feel like there is more to this story, the loose thread with Dash and all that, and I won't comment on the Bonus because that really does feel like added on thing not really tied to the main body of this story. I'm glad I read this though, it's a well written story.

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