Chocolate Syrup and Lemonade (great things that are horrible together)

by the-pieman

Explanations and Due Blame

"Did I really write that?" A beige stallion asked himself with a disgusted look on his face "Well, there's no way I'll ever get this garbage published." He sighed loudly before crumpling the papers into a ball and throwing it in the wastebasket.

The Earth pony held his head in his hooves. "I feel like I should write something, but this is completely stupid, I just can't think of a good story. Maybe I can think of something if I go out for a walk." He put on his jacket and headed out of his little studio apartment, racking his brain for ideas. Unfortunately, in his preoccupied state he walked right into a wall. "Dang, this is the fifth time this week in as many days, why can't I ever focus?" The stallion berates himself for his stupidity, turning and heading in the intended direction. "One of these days I'm going to have to put a 'Warning: inattentive idiot' sign on my forehead." he mumbles as he carries on, thinking of what he should write next, knowing that the first thing that comes to mind is the last thing he should write down.

"Maybe I should give up, I'm never going to write a book that's at least decent, all I can imagine up is loads of tripe, I guess saying I have an overactive imagination is the understatement of the century, but isn't that supposed to be a good thing?" He held his head up and adjusted his glasses, eying the scenery with as much interest as he does his apartment, that is to say, hardly any at all. "It's so boring here, so I guess I'm just trying to write exciting things, but they make no sense! Maybe if I do publish it, everypony will think I'm insane and throw me in an asylum, at least I won't have to pay rent anymore, maybe being a nutcase isn't so bad." The Stallion rushed home and pulled the pieces of paper out of the trash bin and flattened them back out. He then took some cardboard and tape and made a book-cover for his story, which he wrote the title on as well as his name. "Chocolate Syrup and Lemonade by Copy.Data" he said, holding his monstrosity up to the light. "Now to take this thing to the publishing office."

The pony behind the desk looked at the poorly made book she now held in her hooves, and gave an odd look at the stallion that handed it to her, who was smiling like an idiot. "Sir, are you sure about this? It's outward appearance is a bit... lacking."
CD grinned at the mare "Of course, did you read it yet?" The green mare opened the book slowly, as though it might bite her. As she read the look on her face got more and more confused and disturbed, her eye involuntarily twitching by the time she finished. She gladly put the book down, massaging her head trying to grow back the brain cells she had lost. "Mr. Copy.Data, are you serious about this... *gag*story?" CD happily grinned "Absolutely ma'am, I am one-hundred percent serious, I want this published and sold, I think it's very special!" The mare replied calmly "It certainly is special, in fact I think there are some nice people who would like to read this and give me their opinion." This was going far better than Copy.Data had expected. "Thank you ma'am, should I go now?" The answer came quickly "No, I think I'd like you to come with me so you can hear what my 'friends' think yourself." CD's plan was almost complete, it couldn't go wrong now. "That's a great idea! I'll just follow you then."

The mare took the book and CD to a hospital, surprised that CD didn't find it odd. After showing the book to three doctors, they all looked at CD who was beaming at this point and one said "Son, if you are serious about this, I believe we know what to do. Are you serious?" The reply they got didn't seem to surprise them "You bet I am, so what are you going to do?"

---

That evening, CD was taken to a mental ward and put into a room where he could 'relax' while the staff thought about what might help him. Many things were brought up: therapy, medication, solitary confinement, and many other things.

CD stared at the blank walls and locked door around him. "Well, this is certainly interesting, it's definitely different from REAL life, I get three meals a day, I have no debts, no responsibilities, and I can sleep all I want! This is the best idea I've ever had!" The stallion was even laughing to himself quietly, he was so happy. Suddenly a light appeared around him, it had no temperature, it made no sound, and it was bright "What the-" Copy.Data was quickly cut off and he blacked out for a fraction of a second.

To be continued here: On Nightmare Station (Specifically, Chapter 4, appropriately titled: Enter Madman.)

Comments

[HybridPanda]

Sucks he scrapped the fic, I was actually having fun.

[mcb893]

"Chocolate Syrup and Lemonade" "and will NOT be serious in the slightest"

No, really? How the hell do you make a serious fic out of that?

Hmm... actually...

pinkie.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/134303042925.jpg

Writing time!

EDIT: I just read it. Holy sweet mother of god. THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!

[the-pieman]

1642601 The point is that the first chapter is about taking a bunch of awesome stuff, but it being very bad once they are put together.

1450213 Don't worry, our pal Quantum_Shift (look him up everypony else) is starting a new thing to replace SotF, which is actually going to have stir fry as a competitor as well as CD. We can continue, but the challenges will be less scary and more puzzle based. To the point that I can use a calculator IRL to help with issues in the challenge.

[Pancakes0708]

1643204 You wrote the first chapter.
You wrote this chapter.
I read the first chapter.
I read this chapter.

[ysudosjdf]

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[mcb893]

1643204 A pony mixes a bottle of Chocolate Syrup and Lemonade, which sets off a chain of events resulting in the collapse of Equestria.

This is my newest project. Can I have permission to use that title?

[the-pieman]

1643678 Thank you for that... riveting review, good sir. May I ask what you did not like about the story? Mere hate for the sake of hate is not useful or healthy. Also, I made it clear that this was not going to make sense, I gave you fair warning, why are you shocked?

1645763... as you obviously know, I have a great imagination as well as an inventive and flexible one, but there is no logical way I can imagine a beverage and a condiment mixed together could cause any disasters. Please elaborate, I am sincerely interested.

[dragonridergoku]

You good sir are a master of the arts of writing good stories. This was the best story i have ever read. Keep up the good work and remember...

[the-pieman]

1647766 1648518 Just so you know, I'm keeping these. Glad someone finds joy in randomness and chaos as well. What fun is there in making sense... well, all the time at least.

[Pancakes0708]

1646131 In response to your response of my response, I shall declare: I have read stories that do not make sense, are not serious, and serve no purpose other than to make people say "WTF?". This was not one of those. This was
THE GRAND MASTER OF ALL NON-SENSICAL STORIES!
The comment meant, rather rudely and badly I will say after reflection, that I could not truly comprehend what had just happened. It made a lot more sense after chapter 2. Those words were continually pouring out of my brain, and I really couldn't think of anything better to say. I apologize if I offended you.
I actually really did enjoy it!

[the-pieman]

1685435 Thank you for taking full consideration of all the content I provided before expressing your opinion and for explaining your opinion in enough detail. Also, remember: What fun is there in making sense?

temporarily free yourself from logic and enjoy the great feeling of no longer being tied to the realm of 'reality' for in this world of infinite universes where anything can, will, and has happened, who is to say what is or is not normality? Certainly not I, my job in this world is to merely sever everyone's bonds and show them the true limitless extent of having a free mind. Laugh aloud, it is the proof that abnormality and in-continuity are too powerful to be held down by this world we think we know.

Now if you excuse me, I have to go to Neptune. My penguin is coming to visit, the oranges are getting lonely, and I think my tomato-and-garlic cheeseburger is getting soggy from it's bath. See you whenever!

[Shadowstalker]

uh...

[the-pieman]

1984894 Thank you for such a descriptive comment. Is that the sound of your brain leaving your skull from what it has imagined? If so, my job is done. Enjoy!

[Shadowstalker]

1988595 Uh... I must say this had to be the most entertaining piece of literature I had the grace of reading. Good show indeed, sir!

[the-pieman]

1990467 Very well, I thank you. I pride myself on writing a story so random and messed up that it requires a 'sex' tag, but is still only rated 'Teen'. I broke the filters with my logic. The one story you will not find if searching for a clopfic, because it has no 'mature' rating.

I dedicate everything I have here to my idol and the god that I worship. I'm sure you can guess who that is, after all, what fun is there in making sense?

[Shadowstalker]

1990553 The same as mine!

[the-pieman]

1990570 Follower of Discord number 130. I wear my number proudly, and bent at an angle! All hail the King of Entropy!!

I will destroy physics and all trains of logic, for the sole purpose of fun. Luckily, I 'suffer' from three separate levels of mental 'disabilities' that let me think so differently from a normal human, I can write stuff like this.

I do not suffer from insanity, I ENJOY EVERY SECOND OF IT!!!

[Shadowstalker]

1990579 Its nice to know there's another mentally unstable genius besides myself.

[the-pieman]

1993075 Oh, I'm stable, I'm just not entirely sane. I don't quite have a split personality, but depending on the situation, I have a completely different set of behaviors and affects how I think and react.

But no matter what, chaos is VERY important. I mean, if EVERYTHING was exactly the same ALL the time, I'd KILL myself to end the boredom. The question "What fun is there in making sense?" really is a good question. If order was the only thing, symmetry and alikeness were the basis of the universe... well, f--k THAT, I want some FUN!

And actually, Discord was pretty darn fair when the mane six tried to stop him. For one thing, he only messed with them so that they wouldn't stop him. If everyone left him alone, he would've ignored them. Besides, he was free after being encased in stone for a millennium, and they just want to send him back even though he was only defending his freedom? Who's the REAL villain here?