Sweet Sauce wasn't sure exactly what he was excepting from a celebration he'd never experienced in Equestria before. But he hadn't experienced much of anything in the modern Equestria, so anything would be its own surprise.
He would never admit to having any kind of interest in a party so big it attracted ponies from all over Equestria. All to celebrate something called "Nightmare Night."
Even Cheerilee had told him remarkably little about the event, except confiding that it was the way creatures celebrated and remembered Nightmare Moon. That should've been all kinds of interesting to him, since it might be his first source of real information about the rebellion. But the trouble was that no one was willing to give him that information.
But they wouldn't be able to keep it from him this time, not when he would be personally attending the party. Let the ponies try to withhold the truth when he was there.
They took the same train, with Vinyl and Octavia and Vinyl's whole crew taking up space in the car. That also meant Dinky and even Pipsqueak, who had decided to come along despite his parents' initial misgivings.
Shame he couldn’t just leave them alone for this trip. But as annoying as the dirthorse could sometimes be, it was hard to imagine another long trip without inviting him along. Maybe Sweet was just being affected by his biases.
At least his adoptive parents were there to warn him about the customs he was required to follow. Being told to attend in costume instantly created unpleasant correlations with his time while banished. They couldn't possibly be related holidays, could they?
Naturally Sweet Sauce chose the most terrifying thing he could imagine for his costume, and dressed up as a clock. Vinyl hadn't really understood what he was asking for, but Octavia approved.
As usual, she proved to be the more discerning of the two, despite her inferior breeding. Strange how often that kept happening.
It was a stupid costume by any metric. Not like Dinky, who had dressed as a pegasus princess, right down to cardboard wings and an elaborate mane style to cover her horn.
As though you would ever want to degrade yourself to tending clouds and squeezing rainbows.
Sweet had no idea which princess she was supposed to be, except that she was gray in color and it didn't take Freud to figure out what was happening there.
But he recognized Pipsqueak's costume, seeing as he had dressed up as someone Sweet knew. "Tirek?" he asked, mouth hanging open. "I didn't think Equestria even knew about him anymore. Hasn't he been dead for..."
Pipsqueak rolled his eyes. "How does Equestria know about him? He was basically just here."
The costume was as silly as it was elaborate, with a stuffed torso to imitate tirek's strange body, and pipsqueak's head emerging from somewhere near his belly. But at least he'd chosen something that was scary.
"Really? You fought him without me?"
"You?" Dinky tilted her head to the side, confused. "You're not a fighter, Sweet. You don't even have a cutie mark."
"I've had several. Or... I've had the same one several times. If there's a way to change your destiny, I still haven't figured it out. Maybe that should be comforting."
He reached up to the silly clock around his head, pushing the hour hand back with one hoof. "No matter how many times you turn it back and start over, you always seem to end up back where you started. Maybe that means that our free will is an illusion. Maybe it just means I'm not terribly creative. I tend towards 'all of the above.'"
"There he goes again," Pipsqueak said. He hopped up into one of the few empty seats, propping his forelegs up against the glass. It looked particularly comical in a centaur costume. "Are you going to keep talking like that all evening?"
Only until I meet with the princess. Then none of this will matter.
He spent the better part of the train ride imagining what that would be like. Once the weight of guilt was off his shoulders, and he could face his future in Equestria with total freedom.
He would need to take steps to ensure he wasn't an earth pony next time. Magic was painfully slow without a physical focus of his own. A proper Alicorn would be ideal, but was it worth the effort?
On the other hand, Celestia might just execute him, and put an end to the annoyance he represented. I need to get away from my friends before it happens. They shouldn't have to see my execution.
Canterlot was a large city, at least by the standards of his last memories of Equestria. Less so compared to the world that he'd just come from. But Sweet could barely even call those awful places cities. Not when half the people who lived there wanted to kill each other.
The party hadn't started by the time they made it up to the castle. But in a way, that was more interesting. It meant that Sweet could watch as the last few layers of decorations went up.
Canterlot Castle had a great deal in common with the place he remembered, except that the roof wasn't falling in and it wasn't completely overgrown with vines. The princess hadn't been much for innovation in the time he was banished.
"Hopefully we don't need your help with the gear this time," Vinyl explained, beside the central stage. From the arrangement of the decorations, it seemed the event would take place entirely in the grounds, with fake webs and posters and other various spookiness covering the courtyard.
"Don't wander off," Octavia said. "Anywhere on the castle grounds should be fine. And stay together—young ponies on a night like this could get into a great deal of trouble."
"Of course, Miss Octavia!" Pipsqueak said, grinning stupidly. Just like a dirt horse to agree to something without even considering how it would affect the rest of them.
He nodded his agreement anyway—there was no point trying to convince them to let him break the rules. It was always easier to ask forgiveness than permission.
It felt like barely seconds later, and the crowd poured in. Sweet had even been wrong about the audience—it wasn't old fancy ponies from Canterlot, but mostly fillies and colts around their age, with the occasional family member to supervise.
"What should we do first?" Dinky asked, as soon as they had their distance from the adults. "I could try to find my mom, or... maybe we could go through the maze? It's supposed to be the scariest thing!"
"You want to get scared?" he asked, indignant. "Nopony will tell me what the point of any of this is. Are we here celebrating, or is this a... horror show. Like one of those big box stores where you don't go to buy anything, you're just there to look at other shoppers."
Pipsqueak rolled his eyes, or at least Sweet thought he did. It was hard to tell what he was doing from inside that stupid costume. "That means even less than usual."
He nodded gravely. "I'll do whatever you want to. Just make sure it's extremely dark, crowded, and easy for ponies to get separated."
"Maze it is then?" Dinky said. She didn’t wait for confirmation, and they set off together across the party for their place in line. They didn't even have the respect of being allowed to get scared right away—they had to face the greater terror of a queue first.
"Sweet, is everything okay? You've been making even less sense than usual. That means something's bothering you." Dinky said it all so casually, he hardly even realized what she was asking at first.
Surprisingly insightful for a little filly. "Nothing's wrong," he lied. Convincingly, he hoped. "I'm just... scared of tonight. It's going to be my scariest night back in Equestria."
The line moved slowly, as groups of other young fillies and colts were sent in well-separated. Enough that they could be thoroughly spooked when their time came.
Sweet took a few seconds to poke around at his saddlebags. They were for collecting candy, or supposed to be. He had a few little enchantments inside, all crafted by Dinky during their “magic practice.” Some of them might even work.
"Scared, you?" Pipsqueak asked, his eyebrows going up. "We were hunted by a whole pack of timberwolves, and you didn't even flinch. I bet you would've fought a dragon."
He looked down, expression going dark. "Many times. Pray you never see that fight. There aren't winners in a battle with dragons, only survivors."
His words attracted a few stares, but these were young ponies he didn't even know. Let them think he was the weirdest little colt who had ever weirded, so long as that made them leave him alone.
From the other side of the courtyard, Vinyl's music started playing. Ponies turned to look in that direction, drawn by the flashing lights and pulsing music. A few even got out of the line ahead of them, clearing the way to the entrance.
Suddenly they were second up, behind another group of little ponies he recognized. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were here, the siblings of ponies that were apparently important to Equestria in ways that Sweet aggressively didn't care about.
He turned his back on them, pretending not to notice they were here so they wouldn't have to make awkward conversation. Thankfully it worked, and they were now at the front of the line.
"Something must have him scared," Dinky argued. "If he wasn't, he would say so by now. He would be eager to tell us how grown-up he was and how silly we all were."
She leaned in close, grinning wider. "Is it the pumpkins? Their faces do look weird when they're all carved like that. Almost like they're in pain."
He shook his head once. "Nothing like that. It's nothing you could possibly guess."
"Well that just sounds like a challenge," Pipsqueak said. Even he was smiling now. "Figure out what scares Sweet Sauce. Even if we can't guess, all we have to do is watch. See how you act, and we'll figure it out eventually!"
"You can try," he muttered under his breath. "But if I get my way, you won't be there to see it."
And here they were at the perfect place to sneak away. He hadn't even bothered to make up a convincing reason for why he wanted to be spirited.
"Go on in," said an exhausted-sounding pony. A royal guard, judging by the armor they were wearing, but they'd replaced their usual helmet with a carved pumpkin. Light flickered out from inside, in a way that might've frightened him if he didn't know exactly what charm to use to simulate a candle flame like that.
"If you find your way out, there's refreshments on the other side. If you can find the golden horseshoe, you'll win a prize." They hadn't been doing this for half an hour and the guard already sounded bored.
They set off together, passing through a leafy net and into the maze proper. For once, Sweet couldn't rely on his memories of the place to bypass any challenge, since the old castle hadn't had anything like this. Except its floorplan maybe, but he wouldn't expect that to be mirrored in hedges.
"We've been here once before," Pipsqueak said, as soon as they were past the guard. "So you should probably let Dinky and I lead. We're the experts."
They passed a strange fountain, filled with pony-shaped statues, as though they'd been petrified in the exact moment they clambered for their lives. They even had convincingly terrifying empty eyes.
"It didn't look like this last time," Dinky whispered. "I don't remember very much of that day. The Crusaders were arguing so loudly I didn't pay much attention to what Cheerilee said."
Sweet grinned despite himself. "Good idea, you two should take the lead. I'll follow." He definitely wouldn't. But if they lost him in a maze, they might spend half an hour searching before realizing he'd snuck away. Then he just had to hope he could find where the most important pony in all Equestria was hiding.
Nothing could possibly go wrong.
love the interaction of dinky and pip here
Agh you tease! I’m dying for either the anti-climax of Sweet finally seeing Celestial or Luna and they honestly don’t recognize him, or the juicy drama if they do.
After the fifteenth time getting blindsided by something, he considered expecting the unexpected, but then decided it would be too much effort.
... What. Why is his teacher deliberately withholding information from him when he's demonstrated that he has virtually zero knowledge base for anything that happened a millennium or less in the past? It's not like he's asking for the gory details of the sisters' last battle, he just wants to know what he's expected to do during the event.
Going by the Glimmer splinters, I'm going to lean towards Sweet having all the creativity of a brick.
"Have I mentioned that I'm not suspicious?"
This is especially egregious after his surprise at Tirek happening recently.
"Somepony tell me what's going on, except all the parts I don't care about!"
"What parts do you care about?"
"I'll let you know when you tell me."
Doom! DOOOOM!
Of course, given what Sweet wants to accomplish, it's hard to say what things going wrong actually entails. Not finding his sisters? Finding them only to find even they don't remember having a brother? Finding them and discovering they forgave him long ago? It's hard to say. For all my poking fun at Sweet's self-defeating attitude, I am looking forward to seeing how this pans out.
Hopefully when I'd she does not remember him, she believes him. Having someone he can lean on.
And with that last line, Murphy has been summoned to ruin Sweet's plans this night.
He is really stating to sound like a fusion of Vinyl and Octavio.
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"I've been in touch with you for a long time and have already realized that it would be suspicious if you didn't mention it"
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Celestia is pretty incompetent. even in canon she is almost useless. I wouldn't put it past her to discount what a normal person would investigate.
But you do bring up a good point. A average joe unicorn may not know any way to use magic except using his horn, but a real dark mage.....should know how to do something. I hadn't considered that, but you make a very good point.
Elemental summoning, runes, or some other way to use the massive magical field that Equestria has.
Monk
Lol. Murphy is gonna have so much fun with this kid. 🤣
-Rub
In Bill Wurtz's voice: And that's exactly where everything went wrong
…
…Just
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No, it's not a sequel to anything. There's no related reading you're missing out on in this story.
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Reading a story where the protagonist aggressively doesn't care like this is actual torture for my scientist mind.
He's gonna be lost in the maze isn't he?
That seems suspicious. The "aggressively not caring about it" part, I mean.
11315366
Sweet Sauce doesn't accept Friendship and Harmony. Though Harmony is trying its best to get through to him with Dinky and Pip. But I think it needs to bring in the next level: CMC!
11315366
How do you think he was banished?
I wonder if he's actually from Mirror Universe. I.e. one with (formerly) good Sombra
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Good question