• Published 19th May 2022
  • 4,794 Views, 485 Comments

Tall Tale of Sweet Sauce - Starscribe



After endless years of banishment, Sweet Sauce returns to Equestria a new stallion, determined to make things right. Unfortunately for him, he's also a much smaller stallion than the one who was banished in Equestria's ancient history.

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Chapter 3

A journey through the Everfree could not be accomplished on an empty stomach, just as revolutionizing dimensional thaumatology was doomed without the use of a proper lab.

Sauce’s arrival in Equestria might’ve tossed a few dozen curveballs his way, but one by one things were working themselves out.

Granted, a pint-sized laborer-to-be and a talentless unicorn were hardly the competent friends and servants he’d once commanded. But it was a start. Every endeavor began with a single hoofstep.

“We’ll need supplies,” he announced, as soon as he had led his erstwhile allies from the curiously arboreal castle. “Field rations for at least a single meal while traveling, preferably nothing with too much savor. We wouldn’t want to attract the attention of predators.”

The other foals could easily keep pace with him—the unicorn could probably have passed him in an instant if she wished. Even the colt was quick on his hooves. Probably had to be, with such small strides. But Sweet Sauce didn’t let that get him down. He was in Equestria, he’d already achieved his goals. Actually doing everything was really just a formality.

“Where did you want to go?” Pipsqueak asked, shuffling nervously just behind him. “My parents would be mad if I go too far.”

“Not too far,” he said hastily. “Or too long. Just through the forest to the castle.” He lowered his voice conspiratorially, though there were only the two distant guards, several meters away. They didn’t seem to care about their conversation. Ponies didn’t know him anymore. Nopony did.

He would have to correct that at the earliest opportunity.

“Through the forest?” Dinky asked. “You mean, like… the Everfree?” She turned at that moment, facing a direction the map had pointed to. If only he’d walked out to inspect the trees, he could’ve saved the trip to the crystal library. And missed out on acquiring some help along the way. “Mom said I should never go there without an adult. It’s way too easy to step off the trails and get lost.”

Trails? The thought was about as strange as an earth pony reading books, but he didn’t question it at first. Had the untamed magic of the Everfree somehow been dulled enough to let paths survive? What would Equestria do to resist invasions? What if the Yaks attacked again?

“That’s fine, I’m an adult.” He puffed out his chest, grinning at the two of them. “I know I don’t look like it, but I was an adult earlier this morning.”

“What does that even mean?” Pipsqueak asked. “Come on, Sweet. You don’t even have a cutie mark. You ain’t a grown-up.”

Sweet Sauce shuffled uncomfortably on his hooves, but he could offer no objection. Pipsqueak was right, of course, and that was the most troubling thing of all. What did losing a cutie mark mean for the destiny of the afflicted pony? Had he somehow sacrificed his special talent in his return?

“It’s magic,” he said, deflating. “I used to be one of the best spellcasters in all Equestria, maybe the best. Starswirl never agreed to a proper wizard’s duel, so perhaps we’ll never know. Probably just as well—couldn’t say I was the best if I lost, could I?”

The unicorn hesitated, retreating half a step. Maybe she was about to tell her friend to do the same. Their excitement for an adventure had been easy to kindle, but they were also just foals. It would be almost as quick to cool unless he kept it stoked.

“I know you’re discerning folk,” he said hastily. “And you, Pipsqueak, you’re here too. I will prove it with a proper demonstration, as soon as we acquire refreshments for the journey.” He pointed a dramatic hoof at Dinky. “I meant what I said about helping you, young unicorn. But first, I must eat.” He groaned, pawing at the ground. “I don’t believe I’ve had the taste of anything but grass since my arrival here, and that was an unpleasant experience. Technically, I’ve not eaten a meal in this body’s lifetime.”

His companions shared a glance, before eyes settled on Pipsqueak. “My gran runs a little shop near the train station,” he said. “She doesn’t mind if I take somethin’ for my friends every now and then. But it’s more snacks than… the kind of things you say.”

“Train station? I thought I spied tracks… that’s a relief. I was beginning to think that Equestria had stagnated completely since my departure. Snacks are an order above what I have had. I would happily purchase whatever we needed to outfit the expedition—but my property is lost, likely destroyed. It will take time to rebuild my endowment.”

“Your parents must be really fancy,” Dinky said, as they set off towards the train station. “Doesn’t it get tiring?”

“A little,” he admitted. “But you wouldn’t take me half as seriously if I said the kind of things my neighbors did the last few years. Who’s my little pogchamp? This town has so many cute doggos!” He twisted his face in disgust. “And worse, language mutates so fast that the way everypony talks today will be completely altered in a year. Little bird carries away something unfortunate on Twitter, and next thing you know there’s a new word. Language is a virus, children. One way or another, you’re going to get sick.”

Both of them laughed, though there was little comprehension on their faces. This was the simpler way of showing authority—just speaking very quickly and projecting his confidence in everything.

They found the train station not long after, resembling nothing Sauce had seen in at least a century. But the tracks looked the same, and as they walked, the train steamed to a stop. Literally steamed, right down to the coal fired engine and hiss of actual boiling water.

“Where are you from, Sweet Sauce?” Pipsqueak asked. “Talkin’ like that… is that a Canterlot accent?”

“Discord no, that place? Wouldn’t catch me flying up there dead, you’d probably have to keep me restrained just to ride up there.”

“Then where?” Dinky asked. “It’s at least someplace fancy, right? Someplace proper, where the unicorn families turn their noses up at everypony else?”

“Originally, yes,” he said. “I grew up in a castle, wanting for nothing. Except perhaps a scheme ambitious enough to one-up my older sister. I guess I’m living that scheme now.”

He didn’t address the subject further, at least not until they’d finished at the little corner store. Again Sweet found the resemblance far closer to the world he’d been banished to, rather than the one he remembered. Equestria had refrigeration now, and the constant glow of electrical power rather than the smoky, dirty oil lamps of the past.

It was looking more and more like his return home wouldn’t even require him to sacrifice his convenience after all. Now if only he could find someone making modern music, he’d be basically set.

The earth pony, appropriately, had a set of saddlebags they could use to bring snacks, though they were far too small for anything more than a daytrip. Sauce said nothing else until they’d given him a bag of haycrisps, which tasted deep fried enough to be familiar. Even so, that was the exception—most of what the store sold were small-time products in humble glass bottles and paper wrapping.

With his stomach sated at least for the moment, they finally neared the looming trees of the Everfree, dark silhouettes rising overhead like whole buildings. Even Sauce caught himself shivering with trepidation at the idea of following that trail inside. But only for a moment. It was still light outside, and his quest was yet incomplete.

“And now we proceed,” he said, crossing definitively into the shadowy depths of the trees. They couldn’t linger out in the open for much longer, or else attract the eyes of adults from nearby. There were already a few glancing in their direction, though so far at least they hadn’t been interfered with. If they try to stop us, I’d have to go alone. That would be a hungry, unpleasant trip. “Time for that lesson, Dinky. Are you ready to learn some magic?”

That did it. She nodded eagerly, following behind him. The colt came last, watching with a skeptical eye. But ultimately the fear of being left behind was powerful enough that he came too.

Sweet Sauce wasn’t leading her on, either—he needed somepony with some magic, as encountering danger in the Everfree was a near certainty.

He rushed rapidly through several basic principles of spellcasting as they walked, occasionally stopping to survey their surroundings and reference the dwindling sunlight. If they hadn’t reached the castle before Celestia lowered the sun, this expedition would get quite a bit more unpleasant.

“So begin with proper focus,” he finally said, pointing at a stray length of wood on the path before them. He stopped their progress with one hoof. “Let’s practice now. Focus on the object you wish to manipulate, and nothing else.”

“I know that part!” Dinky called, annoyed. “Everypony knows that part. But seeing unicorns staring at stuff isn’t enough!”

He sighed, but didn’t argue. “Focus is the first step. You must see nothing else, until you perceive the substance of that stick with your horn, not your eyes. Feel the shape of it, the weight of gnarled wood. Know its past—the tree it once belonged to, and the leaves that once adorned it. It longs for that life again, deep within. Feel the stick so well, you know it as you know yourself. Let it become part of your substance.”

“That’s silly,” Pipsqueak said. “That ain’t how magic works! I’ve never seen a pony be a tree before. That could never happen.”

“Do not distract, workhorse,” he snapped. He could see it, if not feel it without a horn. The unicorn was focusing, possibly as she’d never focused before. “Now you feel it,” he continued. “Now, lift it up into the air. Like moving your leg. It’s no different. Just another part of you.”

The stick lifted up into the air, hovering in faintly purple magic. Dinky gasped, a grin spreading across her lips. “H-how? How am I doing this?”

“Magic, obviously.” He walked slowly around her, to where the stick levitated in the air. He was careful not to touch it, lest he disturb the delicate sympathetic bond the filly had made with the object. “You underestimated your own ability. Look at what you achieved with just a little instruction. Now, bring the object to you.”

He walked her through a few basic exercises, the kind he would’ve expected any magical kindergarten to teach the unicorns enrolled there. But he couldn’t spend too much time teaching—they were burning daylight, and also it was a lot of effort.

But just a few minutes was enough that she could at least practice while they walked.

“And now you’ve experienced your first brush with competence,” he said, bounding past her. She’d switched from the stick to a single stone—she hadn’t quite been strong enough to do two at once.

“Now that you know a little magic, you have the tools to practice. You must do so at every opportunity, but don’t use too much at once. If you feel a headache coming on, rest. You must build endurance, just as your tiny friend has to work to build up muscle.”

The shadows around them were lengthening now, and Sweet Sauce couldn’t feel the sun on his coat anymore. But that hardly mattered. They were basically at the castle already, all without being waylaid by a single basilisk or other terror.

“I don’t understand,” he muttered, his steps slowing as the trail continued. “We’re close enough now the village should be nearby. We should hear them, smell the smoke from their cookfires… a castle as large as the Two Sisters’ requires a huge staff, along with all the other royal workers the crown employs as scholars and craftsponies. Where are they?”

“The Castle of… what?” Pipsqueak asked. “Why would anypony want to go there?”

They emerged from the trees, and Sweet Sauce saw. As it turned out, the cartographer hadn’t been taking outrageous liberties—the castle really was in ruins.

Windows were shattered, roof collapsed, towers overturned. The village was barely even a suggestion, a few rings of stones outlined ancient foundations. There was no sign of life.

Well, except for the timberwolves, rising from the undergrowth with woody nostrils flaring.