Tall Tale of Sweet Sauce

by Starscribe

Chapter 17

Sweet Sauce kept alert for any chance to get away from his group. There were plenty of dark corners in the maze, plenty of fog machines, plenty of twisting passages meant to confuse the unwary.

But there was some trouble with trying this somewhere scary, trouble he should've realized from the start: scared ponies wanted to huddle together, not drift apart.

Sweet Sauce wasn't afraid, certainly not of anything in a little maze made for foals. And if anything slightly perturbed him, well—he had ample excuse. He was a feeble earth pony now, with all the magical aptitude of a sack of bricks and the physical strength of a melting chocolate bar.

The maze was more elaborate than he might've expected, with dozens of ponies working inside to frighten its young visitors as they passed. He glared at every single one of them, trying to look as pathetic and weak as he could. But if their compassion would keep them from scaring his little group, they had a strange way of showing it.

If there was a golden horseshoe in the maze somewhere, he never came anywhere close to it—maybe that was a reward for the more enterprising older ponies, who could brave the headless horse and other (certainly fictional) terrors. Let them have their reward—his tiny companions would be happy just to escape the maze alive.

But finally, as they neared the end, Sweet's golden opportunity arrived. The ground slipped out from under them, shooting them down a ramp filled with fog. The others screamed—Sweet certainly didn't—and he went spinning into the dark, bouncing off several walls to change his direction.

Eventually he landed on a soft pad, gently despite the terror of the drop. It took his eyes a few seconds to adjust to the gloom. Once he did, a grin began to spread on his face.

The passage up was shrouded in fog, but the polished ground would be much too slippery for a pony to climb in any case. Mirrored walls surrounded him on all sides, though there was a faint doorway visible in one.

"Hello?" Dinky called. "Pipsqueak? Sweet? Where'd you go?"

"I'm here!" Pip yelled. His voice sounded close by, yet separated by many walls. Just like Dinky. "I hear you. Sweet?"

He opened his mouth to reply—then shut it again. Forget having to fabricate some excuse, potentially frightening or harming his friends. The maze had presented this chance to him on a gleaming platter.

"Sweet Sauce!" Dinky yelled, a little louder. There was real worry in her voice this time. Was she afraid for his safety?

He gritted his teeth, ignoring repeated shouts for him only with great effort. His friends were afraid for his safety! He might give them fearful nightmares without even trying. Could Sweet just let them fear?

It was wrong to make friends. Appearances are wrong, I'm not a foal. If he told himself that enough times, it would be true. That was how things always worked.

So instead of calling out, Sweet dug around in his pack, searching for the most advanced of all the enchantments inside.

None of them were terribly powerful, both because of the lack of time he had to prepare, as well as the novice talent of his assistant. He could create only spells that he could trick the unicorn into creating under the guise of practicing more advanced magic.

Without making her complicit in the plot, that was quite a limited list. For most magic, intention was a critical component.

But for one specific spell, Dinky's bewildered confusion was an advantage. He found that spell near the bottom of the bag, in a vial of fluid as dark as ink. Even without a horn, he could feel the stored power inside with a touch of a hoof.

There wasn't much—his proper self could've cast a spell like this to last forever without disruption. But he wouldn't even need an hour to make it into the castle.

Sweet popped the little cork in his teeth, then downed the concoction in a single greasy sip. It tasted awful, gross enough that his whole body rebelled at the texture going down, and he nearly puked it back up.

Finally, with a measured effort of will, Sweet managed to get the potion down. The effect was immediate after that—Sweet's world went gray and out of focus, with sounds seeming to come from far away, echoing and distorted.

He cinched up the saddlebags, then hurried forward through the hall of mirrors.

His reflection no longer seemed sharp and clear, but gray and fuzzy around the edges. Unfortunately that fuzziness didn't translate to being incorporeal, or any other powerful effects. He would need to complete the maze.

It was hard to feel frightened when he was a half-step out of sync with the rest of the world. There were monsters in the mirrors, distorted creatures that were made far more terrifying by the bending reflections. But when they were turned into shallow silent reflections, he could feel no terror.

The worst the maze could throw at him was passing Dinky and Pip a little way on. They had reunited by the time he reached them, and still called out his name, searching for him.

Sweet lingered a little longer than he should, wondering if he could somehow help them escape this maze without alerting them. But as he stood deliberating, Dinky's appearance regained a little of its color, and he had to hurry off.

"Did you see that?" she asked, pointing in the direction he'd been standing. "I think he's close! Maybe through the mirrors?"

He trotted off, as briskly as he could. Sweet didn't have time for deliberating with the maze, so resorted to the simplest possible method, taking every left-forked path in sequence until he found his way out. He passed several other little groups on his way, including the Cutie Mark Crusaders, hopelessly lost near the center of the mirrors. But they were carrying something with them—was it gold?

He didn't care enough to look. A few strides later and he was out, breaking into a gallop as he crossed the lawn.

He had to dodge and weave between the densest crowds, but he was equal to that. Being so small and having such a stupid tribe meant that his reactions were quick, and his strength never waned.

Soon he reached the castle steps. A pair of bored-looking guards stood there, preventing almost everyone from ascending to the open doorway. The few ponies walking along all wore fine clothes—they'd come to a very different party.

Sweet slowed as he reached them, walking at the quietest, most dignified canter he could. One of the guards glanced in his direction, or maybe slightly over his head? Their spear faltered, but they didn't actually lower it to block the path.

Then Sweet was past them, without either one regaining their color. He kept his slow pace, since the sound might still break his stealth. "Did you hear something?"

"I don't think so." The other guard glanced up and down the stairwell, his eyes gliding right over where Sweet was standing. "Maybe it's Princess Luna. You know she must have something big planned."

"Every year," said the other, exasperated. But he looked forward again. Sweet sped up, hopping up the oversized stairs as quickly as he could. He reached the palace doors, where ponies in suits waited with a guestlist.

He lingered just out of view until one of the slow-moving noble ponies arrived, tapping one hoof impatiently. With so many eyes on his spell, its power would be waning rapidly. Did he have hours left, or only minutes?

When the gigantic pony with her oversized dress finally passed through, he trailed just behind, careful not to step on it. Both ponies at the door looked in his direction, but then got distracted by something else, and didn't say a word.

The castle interior was decorated with a far more boring ensemble of glittering magical crystals. If it wasn't for the blue and black hangings, Sweet might not have guessed this was anything different from a standard ball.

In a thousand years your guests barely changed. He passed through the crowd, wondering if these ponies were related to the same ones who had been ruling Equestria when he left.

The more things changed, the less anything was different. That was a Blueblood chatting too loudly with a Shimmer over by the drinks. From the smell of them, definitely not made for the visiting fillies and colts outside.

Sweet resisted the urge to snatch one of them for himself, possible only thanks to his lack of a horn. If getting a drink wouldn't mean clambering up onto a chair and testing his magic to its limits, he would already have one by now.

Good that I don't. I only get one chance at this.

Finally he found what he was looking for, a raised platform near the far end of the dining hall. There were more guards standing around it, though they carried no weapons and wore the same nightmare night decorations as the ones outside. Celestia's mischievous side coming through, perhaps.

She was entirely alone up there, though a large group of ponies milled about at the base of the steps, waiting for their chance to climb up and speak with her. They waited politely while she ate her meal.

Predictably, Celestia was barely eating at all, picking at the plates in front of her with such deliberate slowness that Sweet suspected she had paced the entire thing to take all night.

Never change, Celestia. Except in this one way, perhaps.

Sweet Sauce had spent almost a month to get here. The weight of anticipation pressed on his shoulders—questions unanswered, dangers unconquered.

Debts unpaid. It was time to face what he deserved.

With so many other creatures waiting for their chance to see the princess, he barely attracted a second glance. Sweet walked calmly up the steps, past guards that looked at him for a few seconds, then turned away again as they were distracted by other things.

Only Celestia remained in focus with every step. Her Alicorn magic cut through a simple distraction charm like ice tossed onto a stove. Her mane rippled in the same array of rich, familiar colors. Yet she didn't watch him approach. If anything, she remained focused on her meal.

She lifted a tiny fork in her magic, spearing a little cube of seared fish. The unrealized luxuries of Canterlot living. Maybe Sweet would get to enjoy some meat again soon, if this went well.

Or maybe he'd be fertilizer for the garden.

A commotion rose in the back of the hall, briefly drawing Celestia's attention. Not only her—dozens of ponies turned in that direction. Two guards stepped away from the platform, trotting briskly across the room to investigate.

Sweet barely heard any of it. Something about ponies trying to get in who didn't belong. There were always such hangers-on with important political events like this. The matter was obviously beneath his notice.

Sweet couldn't do this with the dignity he would've liked. Ultimately he had to hop up onto an empty chair, facing Princess Celestia directly.

She dropped her fork, staring directly at him. As though they had any doubt about the effectiveness of a stealth charm on her.

Now was his chance, he would never get another. "Princess Celestia Radiantis, Lightbringer, Diarch of Equestria and Princess of the Sun," he said, with all the dignity a little colt could muster. "It's been a long time—you won't believe what it took to get here. Are you happy to see me, big sister?"

Comments

[Bronycommander]

interesting cliffhanger. but don't put Dinky and PIp into danger

[KMCA]

that's a twist I didn't see coming. Strange that a Shimmer is talking to Blueblood. My theory of this not being HIS Equestria isn't dead yet

[Maulet Paya]

Mmmmmm

[Teikan]

magical aptitude of a sack of bricks

or in this world there are very magical bricks or sauce dont know that the earth pony also have weaker magic (which is plausible, because in his time hardly anyone paid attention to the lower class)
p.s or was he talking about his abilities, google translate everything

[Asolem2]

Now was his chance, he would never get another. "Princess Celestia Radiantis, Lightbringer, Diarch of Equestria and Princess of the Sun," he said, with all the dignity a little colt could muster. "It's been a long time—you won't believe what it took to get here. Are you happy to see me, big sister?"

Let's see what happens

[Mr Swanky Hat]

11321255
What danger?

[Bronycommander]

11321321
i mean in general, like them getting hurt in a fight of sweet

[Artillery]

My running theory is Sweet just ended up in a version of Equestria and not his Equestria.

[Luminous Lead]

Some interesting guesses in the comments. I like the emotion/intent-harvested potion. I feel like I've seen a stealth-based one like it with colour mechanics before (maybe in the Dresden Files or associated fimfiction?) Good stuff!

I'm looking forward to seeing if there's some resolution vis-a-vis remembering Sweet.

[TheCommunistDog]

this ain't gonan end well...

[Zavex Capricious]

11321362
thats what im thinking too

[Level Dasher]

Welp… 'tis all up to Celly now.

[Raugos]

He was a feeble earth pony now, with all the magical aptitude of a sack of bricks and the physical strength of a melting chocolate bar.

Being so small and having such a stupid tribe meant that his reactions were quick, and his strength never waned.

• Earth ponies are weak
• Earth ponies are strong

Pick one.

That's some serious cognitive dissonance he's got there.

[CleanSweep]

This is it...time to finally see which theories are true.

Also, gosh darn it why you gotta leave your friends worried Sweet?

[Gavier]

11321704
I'm pretty sure the weak part is from being young, not being an earth pony

[VcSaJen]

Oh, I didn't realize the author because cover art have different style than usual.

[Farnham]

She dropped her fork, staring directly at him.

I bet she's actually looking behind him. I bet she ends up talking to Dinky and Pip, who are the ones causing the commotion, during which Sweet realizes he's in the wrong Equestria, reveals himself to his friends, and leaves without actually talking to Celestia. Not in any meaningful way, at least. That is my prediction, anyway.

[FanOfMostEverything]

If he told himself that enough times, it would be true. That was how things always worked.

This says so much about Sweet. He really always has been this willingly deluded.

Sweet barely heard any of it. Something about ponies trying to get in who didn't belong.

Heh. I wouldn't be surprised if Dinky had tracked him from the maze.

But for now... Well, Celestia's reaction will tell us volumes. Looking forward to it.

[LordBucket]

Hopefully Celestia won't be handed the idiot ball.