Carnivore: The Birth of Extreme Equestrian Heavy Metal

by Raine_Lionheart

Thunder Pain

The door to the green room slammed open, making two of the assembled members of Carnivore jump out of their seats.

Maud didn't even flinch. She just took another sip of her Quartz wine and pushed Boulder's tumbler closer to him. She watched with her normal cool gaze as Rainbow Dash stormed in, pulling a pronking Pinkie Pie by the tail inside before whirling around and pointing a hoof at Thunderlane. Lord Masticator was quick to scramble out of the line of fire.

"THIS IS WHY YOU SKIPPED OUT ON WORK THE LAST THREE FRIDAYS?" she bellowed a mere hoof from his muzzle. He cowered.

Before he could say anything, her demeanor switched on a dime and she was cackling. She punched her thoroughly terrified subordinate in the withers and said, "Ha! Totally worth it. But you shoulda told me, you doofus!"

Thunderlane felt his body cautiously relax and gave a nervous laugh of his own. He turned a pleading gaze to his bandmates, both of whom simply stared back.

Pinkie Pie took that moment to break the tension by appearing behind her sister and glomping her.

"Eeeeeeeee! Maud, you were super-duper-drummer-ific!" she squealed. "Oh! I mean..." she amended slyly, "Brütal Impact." She waggled her eyebrows, much to Maud's ambivalence.

Rainbow Dash stared at Pinkie and said, "Uh, Pinks? What did you just do with your mouth?"

"It's called a yümlot!" Pinkie chirped, then pranked off to the catering table.

Rainbow looked at Maud, who shrugged.

"Pinkie said my stage name was too harsh, so I added an ümlat and made a happy face." Inside, Maud was giggling. Rainbow didn't know this and also retreated to food.

She sidled up next to Pinkie, taking a hoof-ful of pretzels and a mug of cider (she was delighted to discover that it was Sweet Apple Acres cider). She whispered to her friend, "So where's Salty Licks? And who is she, for that matter?"

"Rarity!" Pinkie exclaimed through a mouthful of potato chips and carrot greens.

There was a beat before Rainbow Dash burst into hysterical laughter. "Bah-ha-ha-ha! Rarity? Yeah, sure Pinks. Rarity plays death metal. Yup." She rolled her eyes and nommed a pretzel.

Pinkie would have retorted, but Lord Masticator took that opportunity to slide inbetween them, his sleazy leer leveled on Rainbow.

"So this is the infamous Rainbow Dash, eh?" He drawled in a clearly fake Trottingham accent.

Rainbow Dash let her glare do all the work for her. The dyed ponce slowly crumbled and backed off without another word, his make up sweating down his face. Thunderlane rolled his eyes.

Rainbow turned her attention back to him, haranguing him about Salty Licks' identity.

"Sorry Crash," he apologized, "but we've all been sworn to secrecy."

Rainbow grumbled to herself. "Where is she even at? Shouldn't she be here with you guys?"

"Salty Licks is a very private pony," Maud intoned. Rainbow Dash turned back to her. "After each concert, she returns to her home."

"It's Rariteeeeeeeee!" Pinkie thrilled from the potted plant behind Rainbow.

The pegasus groaned and retorted, "Shut up Pinkie, Salty Licks is not Rarity."

Even Maud rolled her eyes this time.

---

A few hours later, Maud and Thunderlane arrived back in Ponyville. Luna's moon was at its apex.

Thunderlane yawned widely as the duo walked toward the center of town.

"Your sister is a minor menace," he told his bandmate. "It's a good thing that Crash didn't take her seriously."

Maud hummed in agreement.

He shot Maud a frown. "You didn't tell her, did you?"

"Thunderlane," she droned, "it's Pinkie Pie."

Well, he could hardly argue her point.

When they reached Thunderlane's house, they hoof bumped and Maud continued on her way.

She arrived at Carousel Boutique just as the front door began to glow blue and slowly opened. Maud stepped inside and closed it behind her.

"Darling," Rarity purred from the stairway. She was clad in her soft peach robe. Her face and mane were immaculate, no hint of make-up left over. Maud met her at the landing and they nuzzled tenderly.

"You were absolutely fantastic, my dear," Rarity said.

"You were as well," Maud intoned.

Rarity held Maud's cheek in one hoof, a soft smile on her face. She pulled Maud in and gave her a chaste kiss. Maud let her eyes close and favored Rarity with a tiny smile, and a light blush.

They went upstairs and celebrated until dawn.