Carnivore: The Birth of Extreme Equestrian Heavy Metal

by Raine_Lionheart

Brütal Impact

Naturally, having royalty among your fanbase was an enormous boon for any artist. And Carnivore were no exception. Having the Princess of Night call your band, "Exactly what we wish could have been possible when we were but an angry youth" was an endorsement of which one could only dream.

Thunder Pain, bassist for Carnivore (and obviously Thunderlane wearing white face paint, to anypony who had any sense) dropped the issue of Metal Mane-iacs he had been reading and stared across the table at his bandmate Brütal Impact. She was lazily tapping her drum sticks against the seat cushion she was seated on.

"Princess Luna is a fan," Thunderlane whispered.

Brütal Impact grunted in acknowledgement. Continued to drum.

"One of the rulers of Equestria is a fan of our Death Metal band." He continued to stare.

She continued to drum.

"Maud!" he finally exclaimed. "Don't you get it?"

Brütal Impact - aka Rr. Maud Pie, PhR. - drummer for Carnivore, merely blinked at her bandmate.

"Yes. We're very good," she replied in her patented monotone.

Before Thunderlane could retort, they were presently joined by another stallion. He appeared to be in the midst of applying his own face paint in his trademark design. His purple aura held a swab with white paint and was gently smoothing out his layers. His cutie mark - a flaming treble clef - had been touched up already.

"What are you tweetering on about?" he asked. This was Lord Masticator, vocalist for Carnivore. Thunderlane's coat was practically snowy compared to the jet-black of his bandmate's. His mane was a deep, crimson red that glinted under the stage lights. He was the very picture of heavy metal esthetic. All the mares (and a lot of stallions) swooned.

Thunderlane was positive he dyed both.

Maud tapped out a complicated tattoo and answered, "Thunderlane is having difficulty in comprehending the magnitude of our success."

Lord Masticator raised a brow and gestured to the discarded magazine. "What? You mean Princess Luna?" He snorted. "Mad, that one. If she's listening to our dreck, then this kingdom is far worse off than I thought."

Thunderlane's jaw fell open, and Maud watched with detatched fascination as yet another political arguement broke out between her bandmates.

Maud didn't sigh. She didn't even roll her eyes, or scoff. She simply continued drumming.

She was still uncertain why Salty Licks had asked her to join the band. Other than their discrete romantic relationship, that is. Maud played drums well, but when she had pointed out that her sister was far better and more suited to the type of music Salty played, the guitarist had scoffed and insisted that Maud was the only pony she would dream of asking. Pinkie was frenetic and outrageous, and what Salty wanted was steady and intense.

Maud Pie knew intensity.

Maud Pie was intensity.

Also, being an earth pony made setting up and packing up that much easier.

The door to the green room creaked open. Salty Licks, already decked out in her fabulous black silken robes and otherworldly make-up, slipped into the room and wound her way around her bickering bandmates. She nuzzled Maud and gave her a delicate kiss on the cheek (so as to not ruin either of their make up). Maud blinked warmly.

"You look really great," she remarked.

Salty Licks winked but said nothing.

Maud was still getting used to that.

---

Rainbow managed to snatch up a pair of tickets to the next Carnivore gig, in Baltimare. The days leading up to it were like a training regimine. Rainbow was determined to become acquainted with Carnivore's catalogue (their debut had been preceeded by two demos, an EP and a split with Coltcrusher). She was also curious about the opening act, Goatworm, whose singer was purported to be a goat-tatzlwurm hybrid.

Pinkie came along, of course. She was one of a few metal fans she knew from Ponyville. Thunderlane was another, but Dash hadn't managed to get a hold of him before the concert. And no amount of sheer adorable would convince her to bring Scootaloo along. Rainbow Dash had some common sense.

So it was just Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. Not that Dash could really complain too much - having Pinkie along was really like inviting a small party in itself.

"--and then the cannon went off right in the dragon's face! And then I was like Yay! and the dragon was all like Wha-aaaa? And then I was all like Aw yeah! In! Your! Face! Which is really funny because--"

Then again... Rainbow Dash exhaled, blowing a stray lock of mane out of her face. Pinkie was oblivious to her boredom.

The train ride took an hour, and before long, the pair had checked in to their hotel room, grabbed a few carrot dogs from a street vendor, and made their way (Pinkie pronking of course) towards the venue.

The line was considerable, given the relatively small niche to which the genre lent itself. More than a hundred ponies, dragons, griffins, zebras, changeling and even a trio of breezies. Rainbow almost couldn't believe it when she saw Manny the Manticore and exchanged hoof/paw bumps with him while he and Pinkie playfully butt heads. They waved and continued down to the end of the queue, greeting Vinyl Scratch, Lyra Heartstrings and Berry Punch along the way. Lyra and Berry didn't strike her as the types of ponies who would listen to death metal, but she supposed that it took all kinds. It was nice to know that there were more fans who lived nearby.

Rainbow was perhaps the most surprised to see Cheerilee and her sister Cherry Blossom decked out in bright glam metal attire. Wait till Scoots and her friends heard about that.

The wait was reasonably short - about 20 minutes before the doors opened, then perhaps another 10 to get inside. Pinkie was all smiles and giggles while Rainbow was gradually becoming bored. Luckily, the stallions just ahead of them had really cool vests on covered with hoofsewn patches with band names and logos, and Rainbow was content to inspect them all as they waited.

Goatworm took the stage soon after they found a spot, and Rainbow was just a little disappointed when the lead singer was merely a goat wearing a fabric serpent tail. His vocals were amazing though, and she found herself cheering extra hard as they finished their last song.

There was a quick special performance by a strange avant garde band called Wingboner, who were locals of Baltimare and friends of the venue's owner. Rainbow didn't really get it - how is an accordion metal? - but Pinkie really seemed to like them. Their singer was completely straight-faced as he crooned about living banana creatures and melting dirt roads and... well, Rainbow wasn't entirely sure. She had to admit that their drummer was really good. Their banjo player wasn't.

That experience only lasted 15 minutes, but Rainbow was still a little miffed.

At last, the lights went down again, smoke began filling the arena, and the air was pierced with slowly rising wails which climaxed with a bright flash from the stage. And then Carnivore was there.

Brütal Impact called the song and bashed her sticks together.

And everything exploded.

Author's Note:

For the record, accordions are fucking awesome in heavy metal. If you don't believe me, check out Grima's album Rotting Garden.

Comments

[Raine_Lionheart]

Brütal Impact - aka Rr. Maud Pie, PhR. - drummer for Carnivore, merely blinked at her bandmate.

This is not a typo. She is Rocktor Maud Pie. She knows rocks. And she rocks. Your complaints are invalid. Begone, puny mortals.

[Starlight Nova]

Let me guess: Salty Licks is really Fluttershy.