A Bluebird’s Song
~~~
Search for beauty, find your shore
Try to save them all, bleed no more
You have such oceans within
In the end I will always love you
~~~
Save Your Sky for Me – Part II
The final sliver of the sun had lost itself beneath the horizon, but the flat stone roof of Canterlot Hospital was still warm to the touch from the heat of the day.
The weakness of Dash’s legs was beginning to catch up with her, so the two mares sat huddled together near the crenellated edge of the roof, watching the sunlight’s fading progression into darkness. Neither of them had yet made the decision to speak of serious matters, simply savouring the near-infinite vista and cool, free air. A little lost in the moment, they fell to nuzzling one another’s necks and faces, sharing soft, near-invisible kisses in the half-lit gloom.
Twilight pulled gently back from the pegasus’s lips, unable to resist darting momentarily back forwards and feathering a nipping kiss over a spot of Dash’s neck that she knew made the pegasus melt, just below the nub of bone where her jaw ended. Dash did not disappoint in her reaction, biting her lip at the moment of contact to force back a moan, a shudder running through her body.
“I love it so much when you do that…” she murmured, catching Twilight’s gaze.
“Why do you think I do it?” Twilight smirked, lazily stroking a hoof through her love’s prismatic mane, taking great care to avoid touching her injured wings. Edging forwards, the unicorn snaked her hind leg softly around Dash’s lower back. She felt the pegasus quiver against her as she leaned in to nip at her neck for a second time, before nuzzling along Dash’s jaw, and edging upwards over her chin to press their lips together once more.
Even now, the sensation of the pegasus’s breath blooming in her mouth, and the confident caress of that warm, strong tongue against her own was enough to steal the air from Twilight’s lungs, and leave her deliciously bereft of the rationality she prided herself on. She loved the way that Dash’s proximity robbed her so effortlessly of the walls of cynicism with which she had so often shielded herself.
They held the gradually deepening kiss for what seemed like hours, and yet when they finally broke apart, Twilight still felt as if it had ended an eternity too soon.
As pleasurable as this was, Twilight knew that she was stalling. Her mind was fogged with hazing sparks of desire, and she wanted nothing more than to allow the intimacy of the situation to develop; to reach its natural conclusion right there on the warm rooftop. Somehow, though, a small voice in the back of her head would not allow her to do so.
You need to talk to her. She brought it up in the elevator on the way up here, she’s ready. You can’t delay, no matter how much you want to.
“Rainbow…” Twilight pulled back a little, her heart beating hard, still cradling the mare gently in her forelegs. “Do… do you want to talk about what happened?” She sighed, turning her head away a little. “I’m sorry, I’d love to just lie here with you and forget everything, but if you feel ready to talk about it, I really think it might help.”
She felt Dash give her a reassuring squeeze with her forelegs. “It’s okay, Twi’. I’m ready.”
Twilight lay her head back on the smooth stones, looking up at the clear, darkening sky. Carefully, Dash joined her, nestling her head into the soft curve of Twilight’s neck, snuggling closer, drawing comfort from the warm proximity of the mare she loved.
“I didn’t really want to think about it until these last few days,” she began, quietly. “I just thought I’d end up depressing myself, and I wanted to pay attention to getting better.” She sighed, breathing out a short, wistful note of laughter. “It’s weird, really. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it’s actually made me happy. For years, I thought my mother didn’t care for me. Then, she did the one thing in the world that could have proven to me that she loved me all along.”
She turned her head, looking up to meet Twilight’s eyes with her suddenly tearful gaze. “It’s the last piece, Twi’.” She gripped the unicorn tighter, a single tear breaking free and losing itself in the fur of her cheek. “I… I think I’m free of it all.” Twilight felt a few warm droplets fall onto her chest. “I’m free,” Dash repeated in a choked whisper.
Twilight understood what she meant. The mare was finally free of uncertainty, of insecurity, and free of the unresolved sense of abandonment that had haunted her for so long. She was free of that nagging, unfair, inextinguishable doubt common to so many sufferers of abuse; that underlying fear that she was in some way to blame for what had been done to her.
The unicorn reciprocated the embrace, holding Dash tightly and rocking her gently back and forth as the pegasus wept in silence, tears of relief and sadness and a million pent-up emotions shining on her cheeks and staining Twilight’s fur.
Maybe it was worth it. All the pain and the blood and the tears. Maybe it was all worth it, if she can be healed.
“But you can’t forgive her?” Twilight murmured.
Dash shook her head, her voice still choked with sobs. “I… No, Twi’. I can’t.” She fell thoughtfully silent for a moment. “She was young and scared and angry, and I can understand why she did what she did. But… no matter how ya look at it, she was still a mother who abandoned her foal. She abandoned her foal to live with a monster, and then she took another foal and helped turn her into a monster. No matter what she’s done for me now, I can’t forgive that.” She sighed. “I guess it’s who I am. A mother ought to be loyal to her kids, no matter what.”
Twilight nodded. “I understand, Rainbow.”
The pegasus tipped her head back, resting it beside Twilight’s, looking up at the fading amber of the sky. “Maybe she changed, near the end. Maybe there were things about her that I don’t understand. I… I don’t hate her, I’m not angry or vindictive. I’m grateful to her. She gave her life for me; of course I’m grateful. But I can’t forgive what she did. Not just what she did to me; I could be healed. Cloudshine can’t be, she’s looking at a life staring at prison bars because of that mare.”
“Shine died thinking she’d redeemed herself,” Twilight murmured, a little sadly, more to herself than anypony else.
“I’m glad of that,” replied Dash, after a moment’s thought. “Whatever I think of her, she did give me peace. I guess she deserved to go in peace. But the way I see it, she lost any chance of redeeming herself the moment her daughter joined Sunset because of the way she was raised.” She turned to look Twilight in the eye, her expression a little apprehensive. “You’re… you’re not angry, are you? You don’t think I’m being unfair?”
“Of course not,” Twilight whispered, leaning forwards and kissing the pegasus soothingly on the forehead. “I can’t imagine what your life was like, or what you went through. I… I don’t for a moment think I’m qualified to judge you. Besides, you can’t force yourself into forgiveness, and it’s better to let what you feel out in the open. I love you, Rainbow. I love the real you, not the mask. Not the pony you pretended to be for so long.”
She gazed, unblinking and serious, into Dash’s shining magenta eyes. “I promise you, you’ll never need to pretend or be ashamed around me. You’ll never need to pretend to be something you’re not, ever again. I love you. I love your flaws and imperfections. I love you when you’re crying just as much as when you’re smiling. I love you when you need my help, and when I need yours. I… I want to grow old with you, Rainbow.”
Dash’s eyes welled up again, and she pulled Twilight into a heated, insistent kiss. “Thank you, Twilight,” she whispered gratefully as she pulled back. “I want that too. I… I know I can’t put it into words as well as you, but I love you too; I love you so much. I know I’m gonna end up sounding cheesy or old fashioned, but I can’t think of anypony I’d rather share my life with.” She smiled, meeting the unicorn’s eyes almost bashfully. “I feel like I’ve got some kinda closure now. Maybe it’s not the kind of closure Mom would’ve wanted, but… it’s enough.” She sighed, but the sound was a contented one. “It’s more than enough.”
For the next ten minutes, the two mares lay locked together in a still embrace, gazing up at the darkening sky, watching the amber glow recede as the first and boldest stars began their glimmering foray into the falling night.
Suddenly, Twilight registered a soft glow of golden light to her left, and she turned her head to trace its source. She jumped at the sight which greeted her, gasping in surprise. Dash followed her gaze, sitting up a little, her eyes widening.
“May I intrude, my student?”
Princess Celestia rose gracefully over the hospital’s crenellations on her wide, alabaster wings. Alighting gently on the smooth roof with a click of her golden-shod hooves, she smiled a little reproachfully down at the two mares.
Twilight hastily got to her hooves, and leaned down to offer Dash a helping hoof, her expression a little bashful. She was acutely aware that they were not, in truth, supposed to be up here. “Princess,” she mumbled. “Of course you can. How did you know we were here?”
Celestia laughed, the expression of mild reproach leaving her eyes. “I wanted to visit you both, but none of the doctors knew where you were. I know all too well the pegasine longing for freedom, and so I made an… educated guess as to your whereabouts.” She scrutinized the pegasus, whose bandage-wrapped legs were obviously still in a weakened condition. “Although, I have to ask. How exactly did you get up here? Are you back on yours hooves already, Rainbow Dash?”
“Kind of,” Dash replied, sounding a little uncertain. “I managed to take the stairs, although Twi’ lent a hoof.” She turned to Twilight, suddenly looking a little worried. “Oh ponyfeathers, I’d not thought of that. How am I gonna get down from here? There’s no way I can get past those stairs twice.”
The princess raised a calming hoof. “It’s alright. If the need arises, I’m sure I can offer you magical assistance.”
Twilight, who had not thought of the prospect of getting down either, breathed a sigh of relief. “It’s a good thing you’re here, Princess,” she remarked. “It’s a bit too cold up here to spend the night.”
“I imagine so,” agreed Celestia. A smile was playing on her lips, although now she was closer, Twilight could see that the princess was troubled, her eyes a little distant. “Please, feel free to sit down again,” she added, looking at Dash. “I don’t want you to risk worsening your injuries on my behalf. I must speak with you.”
A little hesitantly, the two mares sat down once again on the stone. To their surprise, the princess joined them, perhaps attempting to put them at their ease, sitting down opposite the couple and resting back against the crenellations that surrounded the roof.
“In the light of recent events, I am loathe to bring this matter up,” Celestia began, her gaze a little downcast. “I promised my Captain of the Guard that I would see the matter through personally, and I must do so, otherwise there will be little that I can do to prevent the guards from getting involved.”
Dash looked up, a light of understanding dawning in her eyes. “This… this is about Sergeant Quintus, isn’t it?”
The princess nodded, gravely. “I’m afraid so. Captain Gladius took it upon himself to send out search parties to the foot of the mountain. It took time, but they managed to locate and recover the sergeant’s remains two days ago.” She paused for a moment, as if at an unpleasant memory. When she continued, her voice was a little quieter. “Obviously, they could not discern any individual injuries inflicted in the fight, but Gladius is an intelligent stallion. He was the one who first confronted me about the matter, having worked out the truth. He agreed to keep the matter quiet to the best of his ability, and to allow me to deal with it personally. I owe him a lot for his discretion.”
Dash looked a little apprehensive. “Are they gonna arrest me?”
“Not while I have any say in the matter,” Celestia insisted, firmly. “They managed to recover blood samples, and they’re working on them now.”
Twilight leaned forwards, interested in the science of the situation despite its serious and gruesome nature. “But if they’re looking for the draught of forgetfulness in his blood, surely that won’t show anything up, will it? He took it so long ago now, it’ll all have passed out.”
The alicorn nodded, approvingly. “Quite so, but Sunset kept their hold over him by blackmailing him with small amounts of antidote, giving him back his life in weeks and months. There should still be traces of that antidote.” She looked momentarily wistful. “Cloudshine admitted everything to me. She knows it won’t make any difference now, and I think she wanted to help you.”
“Help me?” Dash looked confused. “Did you hear how she tried to trick me? I’m a pegasus, she must hate me.”
Celestia shrugged. “Perhaps, but I think she feels as if she owes you. It’s her fault that Quintus tried to kill you, and she knows it. I think, deep down, it’s the one thing she feels guilty for. So she confessed, she told me everything. I’ve been… I suppose you could say I’ve been working with her.” She turned to look at Dash. “She was the one who told me the full story about your mother, because she wanted to prevent Dusk Tempest’s personal plans from bearing fruit. But aside from that, she told me exactly what Sunset had done to Quintus, and exactly what Quintus tried to do to you. I think at this stage, we have overwhelming evidence that you acted in self defence.”
“That’s a relief.” Dash sighed, looking down. “It’s just… unfair. Not to me; to Quintus. They stole his life, they sent him to his death for no good reason, and what’ll he be remembered as, in the end? Evidence? Collateral damage?” She shook her head, disgustedly. “Ugh. I’m glad they can clear my name, because all this is doing is burying Sunset deeper. I keep telling myself what Twilight said to me when I came back.” Dash took Twilight’s hoof, squeezing it gratefully between hers. “She told me that I didn’t kill Quintus; that Sunset had killed him a long time ago. It’s how I can live with remembering his face, right before he fell.” A deep-set anger was burning in her eyes, and she met the princess’s gaze with a burning intensity. “If you need me to give evidence, I’ll be there. I don’t want any of them to see the light of day again.”
“I understand,” Celestia replied, gravely. “I presume, then, that you won’t want to see your sister again?”
Dash looked away, staring into the blackening sky, the anger in her expression melting into sadness. “She can’t be saved now. There’s no point.” She snorted, distractedly tapping at the stone beneath her with the edge of her forehoof. “We’ve got nothing to say to each other.”
The pearly alicorn nodded, apparently understanding that the pegasus would brook no discussion on this matter. “Very well. Do you want me to tell her?”
Dash raised an eyebrow. “About what?”
“About what happened to your mother.”
For a few long moments, there was silence. “I guess so,” the cyan mare replied, at length. “She ought to know, I think. Rainbow Shine was her mother, too.”
“She may take it badly,” Celestia noted, a little warningly.
Dash, however, seemed set in her decision. “I guess it’ll hurt her, but Mom would never have needed to die if it wasn’t for Sunset. Maybe it’ll give her a taste of the kind of pain her friends have been causing for years.” She sighed. “In a way, she’s like me. In the past, we’ve both played with fire because we thought we could take the burns. The only thing that ever makes you stop is when you realize you’re burning the ponies you love.”
Twilight rested a comforting hoof on the pegasus’s shoulder, and nodded in agreement. “If Cloudshine’s got any chance to willingly turn her back on Sunset, then this is it,” she remarked. “It might just be a wake-up call for her.”
The princess got slowly to her hooves. “I agree,” she replied. “I don’t hold out a lot of hope, but if I don’t tell her, she’ll still hear rumours. She’ll probably work it out on her own, and then she’ll just have one more reason to hate me.” She looked down almost appraisingly at Dash, and nodded in approval. “I’m glad to see you’re dealing so well with all of this.” Once again, however, Twilight caught a glimpse of pain or indecision in the alicorn’s eyes, so swiftly concealed that she could not tell if she had imagined it or not. “You’ve suffered quite a loss.”
“I never really knew her,” Dash replied. “But now I know she cared, in the end. It’s just lucky she came when she did, otherwise she’d never have had the chance to prove that.”
Celestia nodded. “Yes… Yes, I suppose it was lucky.” The pained expression returned for the briefest moment, her eyes filled with guilt. Then she turned away. “I need to return to the castle. I’ll speak to you both again soon, to ensure that all is well.”
The night air was beginning to bite at them with mountain chill, and Twilight found herself shivering. “P-princess,” she stuttered, “could you help Rainbow get down from here? I think we should all be heading back inside now.” She decided not to question Celestia’s obvious discomfort. She knew from experience that the Alicorn did not keep secrets from her without good reason.
The princess turned back to face the mares, and by this time her expression was quite composed. “Very well. You really ought to get some rest now, both of you.” She smiled, although it seemed a little unnatural. “I can teleport you both back to Rainbow Dash’s room; I really don’t think you should put your stitches under any further pressure today.”
Twilight nodded. “Thank you, Princess.”
Celestia closed her eyes for a moment, the unknown internal conflict once again undisguised. Then, she seemed to make up her mind; to resolve some internal conflict. Her eyelids flickered open once again, and now there was no trace of the pain that had distorted her face.
Before the pair left, Dash turned and kissed Twilight softly on the cheek. “Thanks, Twi. Just… thanks for being there for me.”
Twilight nuzzled her love’s forehead, a little embarrassed at showing this display of affection in front of the princess, but in no way dissuaded from showing it. “I always will be,” she promised in a low, burning whisper.
The princess smiled at the young couple, and this time it was obviously genuine. “I’ve been alive long enough to know how rare love is,” she murmured. “I’m glad to see you’ve both found it.”
Then, Celestia's horn flared. A shimmering, heat-haze corona formed around the mares, and Twilight felt her fur stand on end at the electric charge. Her body wreathed momentarily in golden light, and her vision whited out.
*
When the fog retreated from her vision, Twilight found herself standing at Dash's bedside. The pegasus had been gently deposited beneath the covers, a testament to the princess's incredible control of her magical abilities.
The cyan mare smiled up at her, sleepily. The sudden warmth and comfort had clearly caused her tiredness to catch up with her. "Hey," she mumbled blearily.
"Hey," Twilight replied, leaning down to kiss her love on the forehead, the gesture almost motherly. "You're not worrying about Quintus, are you?"
Dash shook her head, emphatically. "If the princess is takin' my side over it, I don't see there's any reason to. Besides, I'm not even thinking about it yet." She caught Twilight's gaze, and her eyes seemed genuinely at peace. "The future doesn't matter yet, Twi'. We're both here, and I'm gonna recover from this. I know I'm gonna fly with you again."
"I'll hold you to it," Twilight whispered, her voice catching a little, despite herself.
Suddenly, she felt Dash reach up and grip her foreleg, looking up at her with hopeful eyes. Twilight knew what she wanted, and knew with relief that the pegasus was not still so fragile that she could not comply with her wishes. With the utmost care, she climbed into the bed beside the cyan mare, and pulled the covers over the pair of them.
The pegasus snuggled gently closer to her with a contented sigh, tucking her head beneath Twilight’s chin as sleep began to rapidly overcome the pair of them. In truth, Twilight had not realized just how tired she was.
She felt herself drifting; her mind blurring and fading at the edges.
We're both here... Ever since Sunset had entered their lives, it was was more than Twilight had ever allowed herself to hope. Now Sunset were gone, and only now could Twilight truly convince herself that they could live free from fear.
Before sleep claimed her, the last thing she was aware of was the gentle motion of her love's chest, and the warm bloom of the cyan mare's breath along her neck as they lay entwined together, deaf to the world as it turned around them.
It was so much more than enough.
Sorry for the double update, I managed to click on the 'unpublish' button instead of 'edit' and needed to repost, because I fail. Anyway, here's part 2. Enjoy!
743740 Good grief, that does fit well actually. I'll have to listen to some more of them, they sound good. Cheers for the link!
Yay update!
Edit: Just finished reading, and awesome chapter! You're wrapping it up really well........and....first?
A cliffhanger-maybe-stuff-for-several-more-chapters-thingy! I love those!
Also I will be sad when this finally ends, but it is and will forever be one of my favorite stories.
The elements grant immortality/apotheosis, don't they?
this is definitely my favorite twidash fic of all time. I doubt i will ever find a better one. congrats on the awesome fic! Im not exactly sure where the ending of this chapter is going, i wonder if it will be bad or good? either way, something to look forward to!
747895 oooo...Thats such a hard call ..."The Wind Beneath Her Wings" and "Even Rainbows Fade" were another couple of really great TwiDash fics...I couldn't for the life of me decide, between the three of these, which I would call my favorite though. If you have yet to read those two, I would bet you will love them. TwiDash or TwiLestia I think are the best ships.
747893
Aw shit. That would be awesome
Wait... oh hell... where is this going now? Is Celestia offering up her position or something?
TUNE IN NEXT TIME ON "A BLUEBIRD'S SONG!! (and thanks for the update :) )
Spelling Error I noticed:
“I’m don’t hold out a lot of hope, - Should be just straight up I
And then just when everything was getting wrapped up, another mystery comes up.
748063 Fixed the error, thanks for pointing that one out.
748147 Despite the sudden mystery, this is still all very much epilogue material. I'm not going to dump an entire new subplot in at this point. I'm hoping to wrap the whole thing up within the next few weeks, although given my current record of making predictions that turn out to be massive mis-estimates, I'm not going to say anything definitely.
747940
Read them both, and they are both awsome fics, but this ones still my fave. Even rainbows fade and flying high, falling hard are close seconds though, with wind beneath her wings right behind them.
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So is it material that will just go in 1-2 chapters and make a speculative future, or leading up to a sequel?
I love this fic! i just read the latest chapter and the cliff hanger ending means that there might be a few more chapters.
Witch i really hope sense i dont want this fic to end just jet its really good i mean i check this page at least 2-3 times per day.
Hoping for a update and i always look forward to the next up date
fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/282/e/5/twilight_sparkle_approved_by_ambris-d4c255h.png
748308 Not to drop spoilers, but it's more a matter of tying up pre-existing events within the story. So yes, probably 1 or 2 chapters for this bit. Certainly speculative future aspects will come into it, although I don't have any plans for a sequel to this story. I'm strongly considering writing more stories 'in-universe' for this fic, but probably no sequels, at least for the moment.
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No sequel?
You have still done well. Congratulations.
And the Celestial hammer is about to drop on Twi. I could speculate many things, but I'd rather let it stay in mystery for the moment. Savor the flavor when it happens.
748208 oooo...Wow. I can't believe i forgot about. "Flying High Falling Hard"...Thats a great one also.
Ponies sent me here..... Ok but really I discovered this fic through a link in a fan art by NyuuChanDiannePie on deviant art. I have to say you already have me very interested in this fic. Mainly because it is a TwiDash fic and it is 43 Chapters long.
I shall give my full opinion on this story once I read it all.
Twilights list is another good twidash.This storie is awsome my fav twidash rarishy fic hands down.
752101 Derp. Thanks for pointing that out.
752459 Yeah, Dash and/or Fluttershy never seem to have particularly good fathers in the world of Fanfic, do they?
Woah, that was deep. destiny and shit.
752467 Well, in one fanfic I read, her adoptive dragon father was kinda nice and cool...
83304 Gimme a month tops, I'll contact my techie mate and borrow my dad's L115A3. I think I can fix the troll problem.
I read all 43 chapters in one sitting and all I can say is wow, the whole plot which had me on the edge of my proverbial seat the entire time, the brilliantly crafted back-story, the Twi-dash shipping is indescribable and the cliffhangers were perfect. If I could I would give you a mustache for every chapter but alas "comments with more than 20 emotcons will be stripped" well then here take 10
756224 Yay, thanks! Glad you enjoyed the story, and I shall treasure the moustaches.
756238 I must admit, the point of killing Dash off in the first place wasn't simply to generate tragedy or suspense. For me, the whole point of the story is Dash and Fluttershy getting over their past, bit by bit. I thought about it for a while, and actually wrote synopses for about five different ways it could have played out, but in the end that seemed the best way for Shine to prove to Dash once and for all that she actually cared. I mean, let's face it, if she'd just turned up and explained everything, there's basically no way that Dash would have believed her.
NyuuChanDiannePie's art brought me here, the wonderful story kept me reading until almost 1 in the morning.
Fantastic job, this one is definitely joining my user page wall of awesome stories - it's a shame that the prereaders rejected it.
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When you say it like that I instantly think of Silent Ponyville
God both of those authors need to update those stories ASAP.
Thanks for the clarification. All in all you handled the last 1/3 of this story, the most suspenseful bit, like a baws. I read the last 15 chapters from 2AM-7AM about two days ago; the anticipation was so great was that I could not sleep without knowing what happened next; I was blitzkrieging through the dialogue at a ferocious speed.
Getting your audience emotionally invested in the story to the point that they do things like that is always the mark of a good author
Omg. You sir are the male equivalent to Celestia. You bucking genius!
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Base of the horn is still the horn. You wouldn't feel someone sucking you the base of your....finger....because your hand has nerves. You feel it because the base of your finger has nerves.
763078 ok for starters... no just just no. Second I wasn't dissing your story, I'm not even sure how you could have jumped to that conclusion the leap there was frankly amazing.
763078 I think Lightning Shaker was actually referring to the season finale suddenly introducing Shining Armor out of nowhere. Besides, given the amount of 'sudden appearance of sibling' fics out there, it seems quite a leap to assume that he's referring to your specific story...
I'm glad this is almost done-no offense, of course. I spent about seven hours, staying up until two in the morning and then from noon to four finishing this up, and no time of mine was lost. This is probably the best fic I've read in a very long time, if not ever. I'd write a sequel to it, but I'd only do shame to the masterpiece you have created. Though you work merely with words, they are more memorable than pictures.
763322 You are correct, and thank you.
751677 You are in for a treat, this story is an absolute gem.
Now that I'm caught up, I'm kicking myself for leaving this on the "Read Later" list for so long. This is one of the deepest and most intricate fics I've read in a long while.
I have to say this is one of the best fanfics I have read in a long time and my first FIM fic and well the fact that I made an account just to post a comment must speak for itself, the thing that brought me to read it was Nyuuchandiannepie "This lognest night" image it such a great draw with alot of emotion behind it, I just had to read what inspired someone to draw something as amaizing.
Onto the fic it made me laugh, be on the edge of my seat and the only reason I didn't droped a tear is because my computer is in the main hall and people is always walking around and certanly explaning them that I'm crying over a Pony fic would not be easy.
I love how each character develops with the story and I couldn't help but feel my heart skip a beat when dash first used her wing to cover twilight such a simple act yet I could fell the love behind it , absolutely love reading about their relasiontship.
I can not express how gratefull I am with people like you, that share their amaizing writing or drawing skills with us for free, the only thing I can give back is this comment so you know how much I'm enjoying your fic and that I just read it at such critical point in my life the whole "chasing your horizons for no other reason than the fact that they are there" really hit me and can tell you that it helped me big time, certantly will be making a lot of changes for the best in my life and this fic was the kick I had been waiting for.
There is more that I would like to say but my writing skills are limited and would sound redudant , so I hope you keep this fic going until the end and Thank you for writing it.
Nyuuchandianepie's art was how i found this, and i was not dissapointed! I managed to read everything up to this point and i cannot wait for more! Congratz you managed to convert me into a twidash fan
Hey there, been reading your story for a while. You got quite a fan with NyuuChanDiannePie and his brilliant artwork, which brought me here in the first place. I'm always a sucker for a good romance story but finding a good one is a lot of trouble, let me tell ya. But this story is very nice, plus the plot definitely has some intrigue to it as well. Interesting take on the wings, might I add.
For the sake of criticism, it's a very touching story, and I enjoy those moments with the plot progression and moments with Twilight and Dash, but I think the Fluttershy and Rarity moments need to be put to the side and have that side story be told in passing. They haven't exactly had major bearing on the plot, and they feel more like fillers and really slow down the story, but that's just my opinion. I could get nitpicky to give more specifics, but I'd rather not overfill this comment.
All in all, I'm enjoying this story very much and I can't wait to see more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jgrCKhxE1s
Also a good musical score for this, I think.
781495
Let me just say that I am actually really glad i gave this story a try
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Also thanks for convicting me to read this because this probably would have sat in my to read section forever like a couple of other stories I have there
And now let me say, holy crap why was this so inthralling I've lost valuable hours of sleep this past week because of this
and i wouldn't change it either
819293
"I've lost valuable hours of sleep this past week because of this"
You and me both, dude. :D
I made this account for the sole purpose of thanking you for writing this. It's probably one of the greatest stories I've read, fimfic or otherwise.
When I started watching MLP, it was Rainbow Dash's appearance that made me keep watching. I watched the whole series relating her to someone from my past, and it was wonderful. Sadly it seems that since I was watching it in secret before I "came out of the stables" I was visualizing her as someone she was not. I really don't know why, I suppose I may have misread or misinterpreted much of her from dodgily watching the show as I also kept an eye around the house to make sure I wasn't caught. Perhaps I just envisioned her that way because it helped me As I got to pay attention to the show more I realized that Rainbow Dash wasn't near as similar to the person I was relating her to as I thought.
But you wrote her the way that I wanted her to be. The way I saw her as before I realized I was wrong. Perhaps it's stupid of me that it means so much to me, but I want to thank you anyway. So thanks, really.
It's taken me a long time to actually finish this fic, distractions and using this as procrastination from writing my own story prolonged it's life. But now that I'm all caught up I'm glad I took my time with it. This is definitely in my top 10 stories, not sure exactly where it rates in that 10 as I've never actually bothered to organise them but yours is definitely in there. The story has flown so beautifully, from it's calm, slow beginnings to it's suspense filled middle and now it's heart-warming ending as it wraps everything up into a lovely little package. I applaud your ability to stitch everything together, you haven't left any plot holes or loose ends as far as I can see and the character growth you've gone through with the ponies is phenomenal, but also believable.
And of course it's Twi/Dash, which gives it major pluses in my opinion but even if it weren't and it featured some other ship, the story itself would have shone. Have to say, the Rarity/Fluttershy pairing in the middle was a pleasant surprise, definitely wasn't expecting it but it was welcomed nonetheless. I'd wonder about an Applejack/Pinkie pairing, considering how the elements seemingly bring them all together, but that'd be rather difficult considering AJ's initial dislike to the idea of Twilight and Rainbow. Plus it would seem like it would be tossed in there just for the sake of all 6 of the main cast having a relationship. That said, I suppose AJ could warm up to the idea, considering the rest of her friends are alright with it, could have Twilight and Rainbow returning home and going on a date, only to unexpectedly bump into Applejack and Pinkie in the restaurant... that'd be an amusing and awkward situation.
Looking forwards to the ending,
841550
I really don't mean to sound like an dumb***, but uh, what do you mean?
845913
They're referring to the uh. Over reaction to Rainbow's death. :P
Even if it's meant as a joke, it's a little bit inappropriate. And if not, well, such a strong reaction to a fic is still inappropriate!
Just my two cents!
854876
Ok first off, I'm sorry, I'm from New York so it just flows from my mouth naturally, I apologise. Second, don't you even dare go there, I did not cry amnly tears or however the meme goes, I frikin cried on the spot, like a dagger was twisited in my chest I cried on the floor in my apartment for about 7 minutes until I remembered that I had some place to be and that I could not show up at an interview with my eyes still puffy and red.
True story brah.
My God, this was beautiful. I'm not even sure there are words to adequately express it.
The tension, the raw emotion of the characters in the story and the way their personalities stand out. They seem so real, nay, they are real, coming to life, something which very few authors truly manage to achieve with their characters.
I laughed, I sobbed (even happy sobbing), I gasped in horror when Rainbow's bloody body was found in the forest, I felt true catharsis (in the traditional Greek meaning)!
At 180,000 words this is longer than most novels. I feel like you're using your personal experience when writing this. And to be honest, I don't think I've been this emotionally moved by a piece of literature for . . . years, and this coming from a very avid reader.
Here I am at 4:30 AM, reading the entire story since this morning, and all I can say is . . . well done. Well done.
861491 Uuuhhh, why weregoat?
861391 There seems to be an unwritten rule that every mare/mare shipfic has to have a LyraBon cameo somewhere, so I thought "hey, why not?" LyraBon is the Derpy of shipfics.
824070 Thanks so much. It's always great to hear from someone who's been able to connect emotionally with the characterizations in the story. To me, RD's character has always screamed "overcompensation due to buried insecurity", so I thought I should run with that and see where it went.
855052 I always have an internal "yay" moment when I read comments like that. I'm really glad you're enjoying the story so much. I must confess to feeling slightly guilty; the story seems to have been damaging a fair few people's sleep schedules lately.
Regarding personal experience, a fair bit of it stems from either my own experiences or those of people I know. Just to give a random example, the 'nearly-stepping-on-a-tiger-snake' incident happened almost identically to my mom when she was living in Australia in her 20s, although she was alerted to it being there by a mouse rather than a bird, and she managed to walk away without it actually attacking her.
I saw in the comments how everyone was from practically different parts of the world and thought I might as well mention that im from Florida.
Anyhow I must mention that I really was interested at the point where the couple had shown their affection for one another openly in front of Celestia because I had always wondered what her thoughts would be on same sex relations.
Oddly enough I believe her reaction spells out an immortally long extended knowledge in what love is, and the author did this very well in Celestia's reaction. Always looking for more personality additions to really feel connected to the ponies of equestria.