A Bluebird’s Song
~~~
I need a place to hide
Before the storm begins
~~~
In The Interests Of Harmony
Rainbow Dash alighted on the porch of her cloud-house, still reveling in the new ways of flying that she could now achieve. Her entire return journey had been conducted with her wings tucked tightly to her sides, occasionally flipping upside-down for a while, giggling like a schoolfilly. She still preferred to have her wings spread, and indeed she thought it looked cooler to fly that way, but for the moment the novelty was irresistible.
She had been forced, reluctantly, to part ways with Twilight after they returned to town. The unicorn had needed to write up the details of the experiment into a formal report, and Dash had thought it best if she clocked in for a few hours with the weather team, to show that she was back on form.
To avoid awkward questions, she had made sure to fly normally during the cloud patrols, although she found it remarkable how redundant the flapping motions suddenly felt. They still came naturally, through force of habit, but at the same time were obviously unnecessary. They were not holding her back any more. It had occurred to her then how different the pegasus world could easily become if Twilight were to make their newly-discovered information public.
Now, it was nearing five in the afternoon, and Dash felt cheerful as she deposited her goggles on a table near the door.
What to do? She flopped down on the cloud-sofa, a few wisps of water vapour hissing out from under her, grabbing a back issue of Wonderbolts Weekly from the floor, but not making any attempt to read it. For a few minutes, she lay there, running back over the last few days in her mind. No matter how hard she tried to think seriously, however, her thoughts kept drifting back to Twilight.
Eventually, she realized that her stomach was growling, so she reluctantly hauled herself off the sofa, rudely interrupting the latest in a string of steadily more inappropriate fantasies concerning the unicorn, and trotted out into the cluttered hallway with a small yawn. It had been an active day, after all. She felt that she deserved a snack or five. Then, her ears pricked up.
Pegasi are perceptive creatures. They can tell when something is amiss. They can always tell, but sometimes, it comes too late.
Dash was walking through the hall, when she froze. The unmistakable fizzing sound of a spell being cast sounded behind her, and she felt warm tendrils of magic playing over her. She tried to whip around, but could not move. No matter how hard she tried, she could not so much as blink. Still, the silvery magic cocooned her, the immobilization spell being held in place by somepony standing directly behind her. Her eyes darted rapidly from side to side, in a panic, but she could not catch sight of the pony that had caught her.
“I’d say ‘don’t turn around’, but I suppose that might seem a tad redundant,” came a voice. It was male, relatively young, the affected Canterlot accent hinting at a privileged upbringing. It exuded a sense of confidence, an easy authority that always comes with well-controlled power.
“Let me make one thing perfectly clear, Miss Dash,” said the voice, calmly. “I would have no qualms whatsoever about picking you up, walking out of the front door, and dropping you off this cloud whilst you were still immobilized.” Dash’s heart was hammering, and her eyes were still moving feverishly, more in fear than in expectation of catching a glimpse of the speaker. She was not an easily-panicked mare under normal circumstances. Taking on dragons was fine in her book, but she could not stand this sense of trapped helplessness.
“I could do that, go home, and not lose a wink of sleep tonight. But I don’t want to, I’ve got nothing against you, besides the obvious. You just know the wrong things at the wrong time.”
Dash tried to cry out, tried to make any kind of noise, but it was impossible.
“So, I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering if there’s any chance that I’ll just go away and leave you alone. Well, I’m a reasonable old colt, and I can tell you that the answer is yes. We never need to see each other again, on just a few conditions.” The voice’s owner cleared his throat. “Your little fillyfriend has been asking some interesting questions, and we think that she should stop. But for you, that’s another story. All that matters here is what she told you. What she taught you. So, here’s what I want. You will never tell anypony what Sparkle showed you. You will never use the skills she showed you again. You will never assist her in any future research into this subject.”
There was the sound of soft hoof-falls on the cloud surface, and Dash heard the door opening. She was sweating profusely, fearful for her own situation, but infinitely more terrified for Twilight. If this was happening to her, then what was happening to the unicorn right now? The sound of hoof-beats paused at the door.
“I expect you’re wondering why I don’t just throw you off the cloud anyway, you know, seeing as I’m going to such trouble to shut you up.” The stallion sounded almost guilty. “Well, my organization is all about protecting certain interests. In a way, we’re much like you; we’re protectors of balance, of harmony. You are the bearer of one of the Elements. I don’t doubt that the next time some monster or spirit shows up, it’ll be you and your friends bailing us all out. If you’re not here to do that, then that’s in nopony’s best interest. However, we do have our limits. If we need to silence you, we will. You get one warning, and this is it. Some things are too important. So, if you break our little agreement, we’ll know. Trust me on that. If we hear that you’ve been naughty, then I’ll pay you another visit.” The voice chuckled. “Then, after that, I’ll pay your lovely little Twilight a visit.”
A single tear formed in Dash’s eye and rolled down her cheek. A strangled, inarticulate yell somehow found its way up her paralyzed throat.
“I’ve not enjoyed our conversation, if it makes you feel any better. Necessity is not always pleasant. I hope we don’t have to see one another again, Rainbow.”
There was the sound of the door slamming shut. For a moment, there was silence. Then, the spell was lifted, and Dash collapsed to the floor, shaking uncontrollably due partially to the magic, and partially to the shock. Her heart was racing.
The moment she regained control of her legs, she leapt to her feet, and charged furiously out of the front door, ramming it out of the way in her anger.
“Come back here an’ say that again, ya bucking coward!” she screamed out, but knew that it was useless. She could smell a sharp metallic tang on the air, one that she had always noticed left behind whenever Twilight teleported herself. She knew that the unknown stallion was a skilled unicorn spellcaster, and that he could be anywhere by now.
I need to tell Twi’ about this. Whatever it is, she thought. Then, she suddenly panicked at the thought of her marefriend, alone and undefended in the library. Perhaps not alone.
Oh Celestia. “Twilight!”
She had never taken off so fast in her life. Hoping against hope that the unicorn was alright, she darted towards Ponyville, and the library, like a bolt of lightning.
*
A few minutes previously.
“Okay, last one.” Twilight magically seized a paperclip, and connected together the wedge of parchment that she had been working on. Now that she had first-hoof visual evidence that her theory was correct, she had formally written up her ideas into an essay, complete with diagrams and some rudimentary formulae. She smiled as she reread the title page.
The Sparkle-Dash Theory Of Pegasus Thauma-aviation.
She intended to construct three copies; one to keep for herself, one to send to the Princess, and one to submit to the Royal Canterlot University’s science journal. Obviously, further work was needed. She had evidence, but if she wanted to expand her ideas she would have to be a lot more precise in her experimentation. She wished that Spike were here to help with the tidying up, but he was out helping Fluttershy dig her garden over, or at least that was what he claimed. Twilight had noticed that he seemed a little shifty as he delivered this explanation on the way to the door, but had been too engrossed in her work to enquire further.
After magically cleaning off her quill and replacing the cap on the inkwell, she wandered idly up the stairs to clean up the bits of parchment that still littered her bedroom. The room was quite dark, the curtains still drawn and candles blown out. The bed was still messy from where the pegasus had been sleeping in it. She paused for a second in the doorway, sighing.
I wish Rainbow were here.
She shook her head, and started gathering up the sheets of parchment covering the desk and floor. Don’t be clingy, she chastised herself mentally.
Then, there was an almighty crash of breaking glass from downstairs, followed almost instantaneously by a second, louder one. Twilight jumped in shock, her head snapping up and the parchment pieces falling to the floor with a shower of leaves. She whipped around, and dashed down the stairs to see what the disturbance was. She ground to a halt at the base of the staircase, staring at the scene before her in limp surprise.
Somepony had hurled a brick through her window. The glass lay strewn across the floorboards and rug, covering her written work which, fortunately, appeared undamaged. The offending brick had continued through the air, crashing into an empty vase which had crashed to the floor, creating the second smashing noise. As Twilight moved closer, picking her way carefully around the shards of glass, still in a state of blank shock, she noticed the brick itself lying on the floor by one of the bookshelves. It appeared to have something wrapped around it, but she did not investigate any closer at the moment.
Cold anger filled Twilight, and she swept the glass out of her way by magic as she trotted purposefully towards the front door, and rushed outside. She looked all around the library, but could catch no sign of anypony in the immediate area, certainly nopony who looked liable to throw a brick through a window.
“What the hay did you do that for?” she yelled in ineffectual frustration to the world in general, and headed back inside, fuming. She had insurance, but the prospect of getting the window replaced was irritating nonetheless. She focused her magic to specifically pick up glass, and a thousand shards rose up into the air, glittering like a dusty galaxy of stars around her. Had she not been so infuriated, the sight would have been almost beautiful.
With a snort, she clumped the glass together into a ball, and dropped it into the bin with a clinking crunch. Then, she remembered the brick, and more specifically, the thing that had been wrapped around it. Trotting over, she saw that it was a piece of parchment, and she unwrapped it with a flick of her horn.
It was ripped in a couple of places from its journey through the window, but was otherwise unharmed, and the writing upon it was still perfectly legible. She deposited the parchment on the table, spreading it out and dragging over a candle to read by. The writing was tall and spindly, strongly italicized with skillful penmanship, but clearly written in a hurry nonetheless. As she read it, her frown changed to a look of wide-eyed fear and incredulity.
Miss Twilight Sparkle,
I believe I have your attention.
Your research into pegasus magic ends now.
You will make no part of your research public.
You will not speak of your research to anypony.
You will conduct no further experiments.
If you do not concede to do this,
there will be recriminations.
We are both able and willing to carry these out.
Miss Dash will be able to testify of this.
In time you will understand us.
In time you may even wish to join us.
I hope that you will consider this.
Yours, with my apologies.
Twilight read the note through several times, her mouth hanging open a little. Her brain was churning feverishly. What was so dangerous about her research that these ponies were going to such trouble to put a stop to it? She had to do something, but had no idea what.
One line of the note stuck painfully in her mind. Miss Dash will be able to testify of this.
“Rainbow,” she whispered, horror-stricken. If something had happened to Dash as a result of her experiment, it would be her fault. She spun around, about to head straight for Dash’s house, but at that exact moment the front door burst open.
Twilight watched in amazement as Rainbow Dash charged into the library, looking furiously from side to side, her eyes scanning the room and catching sight of the unicorn.
“Where are they?” she yelled. “If they’ve put one hoof on you I’ll bucking kill them!”
“Who?” Twilight exclaimed, in confusion.
Dash paused, letting her breathing return to normal and allowing the feral instinct to defend Twilight drain from her system. Then, she ran across the room and grabbed the unicorn in a bone-crushing hug. “You’re okay… You’re okay. Thank Celestia.”
“Can’t… Breathe…” Twilight choked out, and Dash released her, still looking immensely relieved. “Does this have something to do with the brick? Rainbow, what’s the matter?” she wheezed.
“A unicorn,” Dash exclaimed, “some stallion, he broke into my house. Must’ve cast some kinda freezing spell on me, ‘cos I couldn’t move. He threatened me, told me if I had anythin’ else to do with this flying stuff you’ve shown me, he’d... he’d… oh, Twi’. I thought somepony was here, doing the same to you.”
Twilight was staring at Dash in horror. “He threatened you?” she asked, trying to keep her voice calm.
“Yeah, but what about you? Hang on, what brick were you talking about?”
It took Twilight a moment to remember her own problem, she was so angry on Dash’s behalf, at the invasion of her marefriend’s home and at the threats leveled at her. “Oh, yeah. Somepony bricked my window just now.” She gestured to the message spread out on the table. “It had this wrapped around it, it’s got to be the same ponies.”
Dash looked up at the remains of the broken window. She had noticed the chilly draft earlier, but had been too distracted to bother looking for its source. Shaking her head in disgust at the vandalism, she quickly skimmed the letter. “That’s pretty much what he said to me, too,” she remarked, “although I didn’t get an offer to join up with them. Why do ya reckon they’re doing this? Why’s your research such a big deal?”
Twilight shook her head. “I’ve got no idea. I wonder why they spoke directly to you, but contacted me in this way?”
Dash shrugged, but then her face lit up momentarily as an idea struck her. “I think I know why,” she said with a small, wry smile.
“Why?”
“They’re cowards, that’s why. The stallion in my house was a unicorn, and whoever bricked your window was in with the same gang as him. They knew all about the Elements and everything. No unicorn in their right mind would go up against you magically, not if they know anything about you. You’d have wiped the floor with him.”
Twilight nodded. “Makes sense. I could have broken through that immobilization spell in a second.” She sighed. “This is crazy, why do they have a problem with us?”
Dash was clearly thinking hard. “Write to Celestia,” she said, at length. “She needs to know about this. Are you gonna carry on with your research?”
“Naturally I am,” replied Twilight, speaking as if it were a foregone conclusion. “If they want me to stop, they’re going to have to give me a better reason than threats and broken windows. I’m not caving in to blackmail.” She looked at Dash, conviction blazing in her eyes, then her face fell in concern. “Of course, I wouldn’t dream of involving you any further in this. I realize that I’m being stubborn here by not caving in, and I don’t want you to suffer for it. I can handle myself against unicorns, but I don’t want you putting yourself in harm’s way for the sake of my research.”
Dash shook her head, firmly. “Oh no, Twi’. I’m gonna be right here with you. If you’re keeping on with this, then I’m keeping on with it too.” Twilight opened her mouth to protest, but Dash cut across her. “It’s my choice, and I’m choosing to stick with you. I trust you to keep me safe, I hope you can trust me to do the same for you.”
Twilight realized that her eyes were a little damp. She could not adequately put into words how much Dash’s trust meant to her. She embraced the pegasus for a few moments, trying to put a great many unsaid things into it. She felt her love nuzzle her cheek. “I trust you too,” she whispered in Dash’s ear.
They broke apart, and Twilight began walking over to the writing desk by the wall. “You’re right,” she said, “I need to write to Celestia about this.” She magically reached for a piece of parchment and a quill, unscrewing the lid from her inkwell. She looked over her shoulder at Dash. “Oh, by the way,” she said with a grateful smile, “thanks for coming over to check on me. I really appreciate it.”
With that, she fell to writing. Dash sat down, resting her head on her forehooves, thinking hard and listening absently to the background scratching of the quill.
Unicorns… Why would unicorns want to stop another unicorn from researching? Why does pegasus flight even matter? Maybe they’re from a university and they don’t like private projects? Nah, that’s ridiculous. They wouldn’t go around making those kinds of threats. I hope Celestia has some answers.
“Okay!” Twilight declared after a couple of minutes. “What do you think?” She passed the letter over to Dash so that she could read it. To the back was attached her complete notes on pegasus flight. There was no time to make copies, she would just have to send her mentor the original, in case there was any chance it could shed some light on the unknown group’s motives.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I am writing to you with a matter of some urgency.
I have been engaged for some time in a private research project,
regarding pegasus flight, recently aided by my friend Rainbow Dash.
(Please find enclosed my notes and conclusions.)
Today, Rainbow Dash’s house was broken into,
and she was magically immobilized by the intruder.
She was threatened by an unknown unicorn whilst unable to move.
After making his threats, he departed. Dash never managed to look at him.
At the same time, a brick was thrown through the window of the library,
containing an equally threatening message intended for myself.
We were both given demands that we cease research into pegasus flight.
Neither of us intend to give in to this blackmail.
However, we thought that you would want to know about these events,
and we were wondering if you could offer any advice.
Do you have any idea who could be behind this?
If so, what might their motives be?
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle.
Dash finished reading, looking up at Twilight. “Sounds fine to me, as soon as Spike gets back you can send it off. I’ve just got one query though.”
“What’s that?”
Dash winked at her. “Why’d you only describe me as your ‘friend’? I’m wounded!”
Despite the stress of the situation, Twilight chuckled. “I think we’re giving the Princess enough to worry about as it is.”
“Yeah, fair point.” Dash lapsed back into silence, still thinking hard. “I’m still goin’ for that record, ya know,” she said, at length.
“Record?” Twilight asked, absently. This afternoon’s events had addled her brain a little, and at that moment she found it hard to think about anything else.
“My airspeed record, ya know,” Dash clarified. “I haven’t tried it out properly yet, but who knows how fast I can go if I’m not worrying about my wings. These ponies aren’t stopping me from getting my record back, no way.”
Twilight smiled, admiring the pegasus’ commitment. “Let’s wait to get a response from the Princess first, eh?”
“Sure,” Dash nodded. “Hey, Twi’, can we go upstairs? That window’s really letting in a draft.”
“Good idea,” Twilight noticed for the first time how cold the room had become. “I’ll try and get hold of some board later so I can block it up.”
Twilight tied a piece of string around her letter and notes, so that they would not fall apart, then jotted a brief memo for Spike, asking for him to send them all on his return. She dropped the stack of parchment onto the table, and she and Dash walked side-by-side up the stairs. Both of them had a sensation of slight unreality, as if the world were suddenly a little less safe. They had been through a lot in their time in Ponyville, and had become hardened to strange, frightening events, but somehow these cold, precise threats were different. They made Twilight’s blood run cold, although Dash’s presence was soothing. They were on the wrong side of a group of ponies who seemed quite ruthless in getting what they wanted, and suddenly their pleasant life in Ponyville seemed terribly fragile.
“Are you okay, by the way?” she asked Dash in a voice of concern. “You know, about earlier, that unicorn in your house?”
Dash shrugged. “It was pretty horrible at the time, I’m not gonna lie. But I’ve had worse in my life. It’s not gonna keep me up at night or anything. I just wanna know why they’re out to shut us up. Anyway, I bet the Princess’ll come up with something. She’s not gonna take this lying down, is she? Somepony threatening the Elements.” She met Twilight’s eyes. “How ‘bout you? That brick could’ve hurt ya badly, not to mention the threats.”
Twilight sighed, but smiled weakly. “I’ll be fine. Everything seems weird right now, but I’ll be okay. Nothing’s ever simple, is it?” She rested a hoof on Dash’s shoulder. “Besides, I feel safe with you here.”
Dash blushed. “That’s really nice of you, Twi’, but I never even saw that unicorn coming. If he turned up with his friends, you’d probably have to be the one looking out for me.”
“I tell you what, then,” Twilight whispered, a sudden smouldering heat flaring up in her voice. “Let’s look out for each other.”
“I like that idea,” murmured Dash, gazing almost hypnotized into her eyes. The atmosphere in the room had suddenly changed, as if an electric charge were hanging in the air between them.
Neither of them could quite tell how, or even why, but the next moment they were kissing. They both knew that this was hardly the right moment, considering the threat to their very lives that was hanging over their heads, but that just made it seem all the more important, all the more right. Twilight was backed against the bedroom wall, pressed up to it by Dash, their tongues locked together. Twilight’s hooves were stroking urgently through the tips of Dash’s outstretched wings, eliciting a low moan from the pegasus, whose knees sagged a little. They stumbled backwards, collapsing onto the bed in a tangle of hooves, never breaking eye contact, both knowing perfectly well where this was going.
It was as if their fear for each other’s safety had brought the extent of their feelings for each other into clearer focus. Twilight had felt the molten lava that had surged up inside her when she heard about the intruder in Dash’s home, and she had seen the way Dash had rushed straight for the library, even after undergoing such a traumatic experience herself. For the first time in her life, she felt love, and she felt truly loved in return.
Neither of them had any idea when the unknown ponies would return, and what might happen when they did. They did not know what Celestia could do to protect them. Suddenly, the future seemed dark and uncertain, the illusion of safety in everyday life had been shattered, and that knowledge had driven them closer. All they could be sure of was the present, and in the present they had each other.
It was more than enough.
*
Author's Note: I hate adding notes to chapters, but I think this is necessary. The reader attrition rate for this chapter is pretty high, I'm guessing because of the sudden shift in tone which seems to rub a lot of people up the wrong way. Just so you know; the story is still primarily a romance from hereon in. Fear not!
Woo, plot development! This was a very fun chapter to write.
129360 Thanks a lot! Glad you're enjoying the story.
129757 Dang, I missed an opportunity there. I could even have slipped in a 'friendly neighborhood' joke as well!
Wow...shit suddenly got REAL!
LOVE IT
There must be some sort of purpose for them doing this, who knows? Perhaps Twilight might join them, or Dash, or both. Or one of the gets cut in half and only half of Twilight goes, or only half of Dash goes, or both of them cut in half goes.
But the being cut in half brings the possibility of dieing so maybe Twilight doesn't go, or Dash doesn't go, or both of them don't go.
Also, with the possibility of death means that the possibility that only one of them dies so maybe, Twilight joins or Dash joins.
Not to mention all the possibilities if only one of them dies, so maybe Dash joins, or Twilight joins, or even both
Or Twilight joins, or even both, or dash.
And, or even both, Twilight joins or Dash joins.
Also, someone they might not like, like Trixie may be in there group too, so this brings the possibility of revenge, okay I'm sounding retarded now with this piece of shit reply.
If this is a piece of shit reply, it brings the possibility of being hated on, which may start a flame war, and if that happens the owner of this site might ban us and track down our ips to kill us in real life.
And I was really starting to enjoy this. There's nothing that you could've done differently, not with where the plot is going now.
I'm really sad to see this one leave my reading list.
Whoa! Awesome!
I love new ideas... and although the idea of Pegasi using magic to fly has never been questioned, no one has gone this deep into it in storytelling before that I've read... and adding a group trying to protect a secret...
Totally awesome!
134061
Wow dude or dudette that was a very pinky pie like answer. lol.
Anger and frustration course through my very being right now.... THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS! But for the sake of the awesomeness that I am sure is to ensue throughout this story I am willing to let it go... for now.... > :|
Welp, HERE's the plot! Was wondering when I'd find it.
"Shit just got real."
I concur.
So THAT'S how there's 30+ chapters.
Holy shit that kind of plot can easily explian 30+ chapters. Oo
Or better said, it doesn´t yet. XD
I can understand the desires of stalion who threated dash...In my opinion pegasi are not pegasi anymore if they do not flap their wings while flying.It could be just weird...And as twilight said before:Pegasi used to have large wings to carry them on winds without magic.Then they somehow managed to magickaly fuel their wings and made them light on clouds(I do not remember it right XD ) Sooo...when pegasi started using magic for that,their wings shrink smaller...Imagine if all pegasi found out about their magic...They could lost their wings for this!
Although,I do not feal any attrition :) Good job!
And this is where you take everyone by surprise and effectively drop the bomb.
Or, more likely, the bomb smashed into the ground with unparalleled force, and is now resting comfortably in it's rather deep nook as a little beep can be heard by onlookers...
Well at least the Dark and Adventure tags are beginning to add up xD
And just to respond to this:
I hate adding notes to chapters, but I think this is necessary. The reader attrition rate for this chapter is pretty high, I'm guessing because of the sudden shift in tone which seems to rub a lot of people up the wrong way. Just so you know; the story is still primarily a romance from hereon in. Fear not!
How can you recover from that and say this is going to be mainly a romance from here on in? There are 33 chapters left, that's a lot of space for mainly a romance to take place. Eh, anyway, I don't see why people are miffed. The story had a dark and adventure tag on, as well as the romance; how did they picture this thing was gonna go?
Moving on real quick, there is an awful absence of the other Mane 6, just so you know. I'm sure you fix it in later chapters, but going this long--even if it only has been like, what, two days?--seems a tad over extended. One of my small qualms with this story
TwiDash shipping fic with Dark tags, just add conspiracy.
Those two ponies should've known this would only drive Twilight and Dash up the wall, forcing the research into overdrive. Unless they bring friends, they aren't gonna get much chance to stop this, and even then, Dash is about to become the fastest flyer in existence. The only limit will be the sheering force of atmosphere against her body, that's about it. It's not about physical strength anymore.
And everyone knows mind beats body.
Hmmm.... When the brick came through the window, I kinda hoped it would just be "We know." with a hoofprint underneath it
I'm a few chapters further in now and I must say, it doesn't feel like it's still "primarily a romance" to me. In fact, the emotions you were doing a great job of portraying seem to have dropped out completely. This was a very poor way to introduce a new thread into your story. It reads like you finished the main story and then decided to glom a sequel on without the decency to make it a new story. Without any sort of foreshadowing at all, you've jumped from a small emotional arc to a mystery/action adventure arc. The sole reason I'm still reading is because Tchernobog assures me it goes back to romance, but you definitely fumbled badly in this chapter.
Woah! theres the plot twist I knew had to be coming soon. Nice originality concept.
Im taken aback by the sheer passionate love and clarity of psychological reaction that is used in this chapter. Very unique. what a good story. keep rocking it!
I was thinking that things were moving extremely fast for a story with so many chapters in it ... especially with RD's ability to put so much baggage behind her so quickly ... i understand it's probably not all said and done in those regards (at least i hope it's not) but i think for the sake of plot (i swear MLP fanfics have RUINED that word for me) i can see why you allowed her to work past that so readily ... i'm looking forward to the rest of the story
UUUURGH!!!!! Why, WHY are there always people trying to ruin everything? *groan* Whoever that "old colt" is, I already hate him with a passion...
Hey, Mister Old Colt.... this is what'll play in your head when Twilight and/or Rainbow find out who you and your companions are, and trust me they will...
and I'll be here.... lauhing^^
I laugh. Dark tag on fic... oooh conspiracy introduced... What is this I don't even!?! That seems to be the butt hurt sentiment I'm seeing from some of these comments. To those haters I say, 'go back to your world where ponies eat butterflies and poop rainbows, I'm here for the plot... er, I mean story '
If pegasus have the equivalent of unicorn horns in their wings, then it's possible they could cast magic like a unicorn. That would be a huge reason for unicorns to want to restrict research. I wonder if that means Earth ponies have alicorn in their hooves?
Not gonna lie, thank you.
Thank you for breaking up the tremendous amount of fluff Twidash I read with a different plot. I know I'm late to the party here but I can literally count on one hand the number of "Plothooks" Twidash stories have been using. Sad considering I've read probably 20-25 in the past week and a half. If I read another, "Dash is angry about Mare Do Well," I swear I'm going to write my own fic.
On another note, interesting theory on pegasus flight. I'm not sure how I feel about your use of psychology though. It works out since no one actually had to help Dash with her issues but if Twilight turned into her psychologist for a bit I feel there would need to be a lot more information. Psychology is too much of a pseudo science in its current infancy to write about without a very different fic. Applying it without sufficient information I think detracts a bit.
Overall, I have about 170,000 more words to read, but I'm enjoying it so far. Thanks again for breaking the mold.
I can't begin to fathom why people are dropping this story, it is SO good! I can't wait to keep on reading it!
i don't get why people would drop this. this is my second read through of this story and it is one of the best i have ever read. honestly i find plain old Romance stories boring (unless they are done really well) and while i like Romance fics i have to say that IMO Shipping is best when combined with something else. take Broken by Divebomb Brilliant Appledash shipping fic, but the shipping is overlay-ed with a griphon invasion it's not the singularly main plot but neither is it a sub-plot.
Okay, nearly two years too late, but still:
And while I'm commenting, I might as well tell you that even though I'm just 9 chapters in, I am just completely blown away by this. Easily one of the best fics on this site. Easily.
The chapter note was necessary. At this point it almost felt like having the feet kicked out from under my chair. It's not bad mind you, but it did take a little be of reorientation.
In all, this reader will not be shying away after waiting so long to read this.
well that was one way to thow me back into the story... now things get really interesting
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130220051405/mlp/images/d/d2/Rainbow_Dash_cheering_along_with_the_crowd_S2E15.gif
Sorry. In all seriousness, we know we said that the emotions were strong in previous chapters, but this blows them out of the water. And those stallions? You should strap them to chairs in a small room and let loose the mane six's pets loose with them. They'll be getting hit in the head by Tank, clawed up by Opal as she runs away from Wanona, gets tortured systematically by Angel and Owlicious, and, worst of all, have Gummy gnaw on their heads and appendages.
You have no idea how happy it makes me to see this.
It seems like nine out of ten stories ever written have the characters doing something boneheaded, out of character, and/or just plain stupid, usually along the lines of not saying something that's bothering them, or deciding not to ask for help, or what have you. This gives authors a lot of material to create conflicts and plot and character development, but at the cost of leaving a bad taste in the (or at least, this) reader's mouth.
So, to see you continually subvert that, to see the characters behave so like themselves, is... well, it's glorious. I'm feeling quite refreshed right now, purely because I'm reading your story.
Even if this tale turns out to be a disappointment (which, judging from what I've seen so far, is most likely impossible), it will have all been worth it.
Thank you.
(Ack! Wall of text!)
(2 years late and not ashamed to comment)
I noticed Dash's and Twilight's ways of talking are a bit peculiar, but only a bit, for example:
I find it hard to believe Twilight would end a sentence with "eh?"...
Even though I'm into FlutterDash, I like the story so far. I do agree that Rainbow's problem with her father was finished too quickly, though. I'm eager to see how this is gonna turn out.
redundant flapping is redundantly useless
ok im now waiting for some action with twilight sparkle wiping the floor with those idiots asses that threatened them.
There we go. Was wondering when that dark tag would make itself valid. This plot seems like itll lead that way
I really don't get all the hate on this new plot. I personally really like it. I'm glad this isn't just a romance fic about Twi and Rainbow, but that there is also another plot that's gonna be much more serious. Now that I think about it, most people who quit reading this fic after this chapter probably did it because they were expecting this to be a fic pretty much only focused on the plot points we've established so far. This chapter really did take a big turn. I can kinda understand that, but I personally still love this change. As much as I love TwiDash romance fics, sometimes I miss some antagonists. Like real 'I will kill you if I have to' kinda antagonists. Not just a bully or an abusive parent (Not saying that those are small problems, but compared to a cult blackmailing the main characters, and threatening them with murder, they're not as bad). I'm really excited to see where this is gonna go.
May the TwiDash be with you
PLEASE READ IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING NOT CONTINUING ON WITH THE STORY AFTER THIS PLOT CHANGE
I know that it is a whole 6 years later since this was written, but I don’t care because their is usually still a trickle of people who come in to read such a great story. I am currently on chapter 35 and this is like a said, a great story. I will even go as far as saying this is the best Twidash fic to be written on this site. The plot change at this point can be seen as “stupid” or “uninteresting”, but after reading on and getting over this change I can definitely say that without this change the story would not be so perfect. I won’t spoil anything, but it definitely makes the romance between Twilight and Dash a lot better than just “I love you.” “I love you too”. So if you are considering abandoning it, please just take this into consideration.
9394522
I gave it a shot man, but it’s not sticking, but that isn’t a bad thing.
I respect the idea that it could be one of the best TwiDash docs out there. Heck. If these first seven, eight chapters are anything to go by it probably is, but I’d bet that most people probably came here wanting TwiDash, and imo the description doesn’t do a good job in hinting towards a grand adventure of a secret dark organization, so it feels like it comes out of left field.
That said, while I’m gonna put this fic on the burner for now, but I’ll definitely keep it in mind if I ever want to read a TwiDash adventure story, since this one’s been knocking it out of the park so far.
Well that's a plot shift!