- Member Since 22nd Sep, 2021
- offline last seen Feb 22nd, 2022
Raven Wolf
Raven Lee Wolf. Story writer in training.
Raven Wolf
Joined 22nd Sep, 2021 ·
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Interesting, usually a blind in-system jump doesn't put one in an atmosphere ... most jump ships aren't built for slowing down by friction ...
Well, you've lost more points to this story (no check on atmospheric composition, temperature or gravity. Most of this could be done from orbit and confirmed by probe before sending bodies down. If the air is toxic, you just killed the crew by opening the shuttle before the air analysis is done ... (try doing this on Mars and see if there are any survivors) ...
11000456
Apologies, while the first half of what you wrote is correct, the other half is not. The crew were equipped with rebreathers before stepping out of the shuttle. Afterwards, an air composition was done confirming the air is safe. I apologize if this story is not up to your scientific expectations. There are other stories on this site that can do it better than I can when it comes to scientific consistency. This is just a passion story of mine like I mentioned in the Authors notes of my prologue, and I only have a basic understanding of how space and planetary bodies research is done or conducted. I appreciate your input, but I can only do so much research in my free time when it comes to these areas of study.
11000893
Fair enough as what breaks a person's belief in the story varies quite a bit.
Case in point, I think of a rebreather as something that works with an atmosphere not isolate one from it though I do remember an old Bond film that had something that was little more than a mouthpiece that worked underwater to keep Bond breathing that might have been called a 'rebreather' or something similar ... chalk it up to age interfering with the show (or whatever techno-babble was used that doesn't quite match)
I'm really liking this, can't wait for the next chapter
11002043
It’s in production, friend. :)
Apologies to anyone who received an update to the story again for chapter two. I misclicked on the chapter accidentally hitting unpublish. Sorry for the inconvenience.
I am loving this, not enough of this kind of story involving space travel.
Hoooo boy, humanities first experience with the celestial movers themselves...... cannot wait to see what happens next hahaha
I gotta say, your description on Canterlot Castle is splendid. Not to mention, your description on Twilight and the Royal Sisters are also thorough from a second person POV. Keep up the good work.