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The Beast Of Hollow Mountain

This story was written for princebluemoon3 on DeviantArt. This story was inspired by the 1956 film of the same name. Apologies if it seems rushed as I left it a bit late. Please enjoy this interesting horror story.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 4 )

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Scholarly-Cimmerian

Scholarly-Cimmerian #1 · Nov 1st, 2021 · 1 · ·

"The Beast of Hollow Mountain"? Whoa, that's a blast from the past. Haven't thought about that movie for a long, long time.

As for the story itself... it's all right. Your writing isn't *bad* on a technical level, but I think you need to work on the type of narrative voice (as in, narration) you want to use for a story like this. It's kind of passive, and tends to summarize or just state what's being told in the story, which hurts the impact of the tale you could tell here.

And, to be fair, there's some good thought into this. The cowpoke being the guy who benefited from selling pie catapults, now fallen on hard times, is a fine concept to start with. But in terms of selling the suspense and terror of his encounter with the beast of the mountain, it could have been better.

Still, keep trying!