Death. Usually that is it, you die and you go to wherever it is that everypony else goes. Unfortunately, some of us are not so lucky as to leave this world once we die. It's kind of messed up I know, but maybe one day I will be able to die and leave this world behind and finally find happiness. Until then I guess I will just do what the princess tells me to do, and make others cross that final border that I am denied access to. Maybe when all our enemies are vanquished, and Equestria is safe forever, Luna will let me finally have my well-deserved afterlife. Maybe.
So... the only things he can remember are his name, his parents, and his shitty apartment? The memory loss needs to be better addressed so that it doesn't lead to confusion. Otherwise the reader is going to be wondering why the hell he can't remember his old life if he can remember the book he was currently reading before he died.
Other than that I like your story. It's mostly well written and interesting, and it's a concept I haven't seen before. You also write chapters that have a decent length which is refreshing in the sea of 1 thousand word chapter stories.
I look forward to seeing this update and if you find yourself in need of an editor or a proof reader I would be willing to offer you my time.
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Thanks. I feel I need to address something here. He doesn't have any memory loss I am sorry if that is what you got from the chapter. The only things that he is having trouble remembering is the afterlife.
1697153 Okay okay that makes a little more sense. So he remembers everything but his cutie mark then. Well thanks for the response I look forward to more.