Well for a mature take on a less than stellar episode, I think you did really well. Improved it in many ways even…
In all, it was a fun read. Lots of good, random gags and funny moments with enough depth to make this memorable. I mean, that use of inflatables is one way to nail a lot of Pinkies in short order…
I while I had thought you would go out on more pinkie and cheese, for the final scene… what we instead got was still quite fun.
…Also kinda felt like an adult ending to celestia receiving the letters. Just like the tame ending to a lot of the episodes where we see her read over the letter.