• Member Since 31st Mar, 2020
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Zhafran


T

Rarity and her parents was about to move and live a simple life in Ponyville. But when she was alone, she was dragged by her own horn into the middle of nowhere with nopony but herself. She knew this must because of her love of fashion. She knew, this is her destiny.

But sadly, she arrived at her 'destiny' only to be attacked by a monster.

Now confused about the meaning of her destiny and her new-found cutie mark, and with no valid way to know.

How does her life afterwards?


Author's Note:

My first attempt to write a fiction, nothing much.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 6 )

Wonderful description, may want to double-check the forms of the verbs you use here. I also advise you tag this as an ‘alternate universe’.

10702876

Thank you.

To be honest, English is not my first language (I know, it's the most common reason), and I'm afraid I'm unable to spot which part is needed to be fixed.

I try my best, but if you don't mind me asking which part is in your opinion that can be written better? Or maybe a suggestion?

Secretly add the AU tag.

Alright, here might be an example. I italicized my corrections/rewrites and crossed out possible errors for the following paragraph:

No, ‘nice’ wasn't enough. I needed to prove myself that I'm I was more than capable to of just making creating a nice lovely dress like the any other. I needed them to be something somewhat special and or dare I say, spectacular. Being a soon-to-be a fashion designer myself, I could tell that my current dresses ensembles are were more or less like a standard dress which I believe every dressmaker has the capable capability and patience of make to design.

If you need any advice on past tense forms of verbs or the creative phrases of description, I believe there is a guide on this website that teaches of how to write with an outstanding knowledge of grammar.

10703337

Wow, I never thought it will be that bad.

I might need to read the guide once again, I guess I have to try to change some words and try to stick to past tense then.

Thank you.

10703354
Try requesting an Editor from this group. Looking for Editors

The Editor I found been very helpful fixing my mistakes.

10736510
Thank you for the suggestion. I'll consider it in the future.

Login or register to comment