• Member Since 12th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 28th, 2017

Nemark


I'm new to the love of mlp

E

A small colt named Shaded Aurora finds himself in a sticky situation when leaving the Evergreen Forest. A small filly had lost herself and he found her but to his surprise she was blind. The frail filly scared finally tells him her name, Owl Eyes. This story is about two unusual friends. A shunned unicorn that is considered to be a bad colt and a blind Pegasus that's past is unknown by anyone except herself.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 3 )

I'm sorry, I don't want to sound mean, but your characters lack a lot of depth. I felt like I wasn't given the chance to truly know them.

Is this going to be a story? Or is just a one-shot?

Anywho- Meh. I agree with Duketriforce (Zelda? Cool) Give them depth. Work on that, and this will turn into a better story.

-Looking forward to this with a little apprehension.
Lis

Thankyou for the tips, and i'm going to try to make it a story. I haven't really done this before and your critiques do help c: :twilightsmile:

Login or register to comment