Help

by WittyNameTFM

Chapter 21. Affirmation

Author's Note:

Lots of things have been going on around me, writing when I find the time recently. I appreciate everyone who reads and I'm sorry I don't update more often.

But in the story, we're getting some talks out of the way. Some things that Indigo needs to hear. I hope you enjoy!

"So, that's what has been going on the last few days." Indigo said, shrinking into the seat.

"Well, first of all," Sugarcoat started. "You should know better. We're not going to get annoyed by your concerns, and frankly, the only thing I'm bothered by is that you'd let it get to this point." She said with a tired frown.

"No, please." Indigo interrupted. "You guys feeling any guilt about this would only make me feel worse." She sighed.

"We're in a difficult situation, Indigo. You have to admit, we want you to come to us if you need help." Lemon spoke up. "We can't help but feel bad that you'd think we wouldn't be there for you."

"Okay, enough." Sour barked. "This isn't going to help either side." She crossed her arms. "Indigo, just...however long it takes," She began. "I want you to trust us like we do you."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Sour frowned. "You're working on it. I think the best way for you to get there is if you don't give up on trying."

"I won't."

"We know you won't, and neither will we." Sunny said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Thanks, girls." Indigo mumbled. "I'm tired of all this emotional stuff." She sighed.

"Tell me about it, it's never as simple as we'd like it." Sour frowned.

With a groan, Indigo stood. "I'm not letting this control my life for longer than it already has. I need to get my mind off it." She mussed her hair in frustration.

"Any ideas?" Lemon asked.

"Aside from going and punching something, not really." She slumped back into her seat.

"Maybe you do need to vent your frustration?" Lemon suggested. "I usually go and bang on my drums when I'm upset."

"The doc said I should avoid anything too strenuous." Indigo sighed.

"Well, shit." Lemon groaned. "One of us can stick with you just in case?" She suggested.

"I think I'll just deal with it." Indigo said with a shrug. "But thanks for trying."

"Maybe just hanging out with us can help you cool off?" Sour suggested. "Sunny has a rehearsal for the play today, right?"

"I do, but the instructor has closed the set for outside parties." Sunny frowned.

"You could come hang with me!" Lemon cheered. "Some music and good vibes will work wonders."

"That does sound fun." Indigo smirked.

"Then it's settled, c'mon Indy." Lemon said excitedly.

Indigo stood to follow her, giving a wave over her shoulder to the others.

"How are you holding up, Sunny?" Sugarcoat asked, turning to her now.

"I'm not going through the same stuff as her…"

"You are. Because you're trying to get her to open up to you about it. It may not have hit you yet, but you're also bearing some of that weight."

Sour crossed her arms with a nod. "Sugarcoat is right, if you let all of this build up, you'll be the one who cracks."

"So what do I do?" Sunny asked.

"Well, you can start with how you're feeling. Like I asked." Sugarcoat said simply.

"Frustrated? Helpless? I don't know." Sunny sighed. "She doesn't have to rely on me, so I try to keep that in mind. Especially with how often she's handled things on her own, always asking for or needing help now is probably hard to handle. Selfishly, I wish I could just make things better for her, but we all know that's not how things work."

"The ball is in her court now. She's got to open up when she needs us." Sour said with a frown. "It's not easy, trust me."

"I know. It's- I don't just expect her to get over everything all at once, it's just…" Sunny sighed. "It's just a selfish wish for her to trust me more."

"You'll get there." Sour assured. "She already trusts you more than anyone else."

"And we saw how that turned out. She had a panic attack because she was scared to tell us that she was going through this." Sunny said in annoyance. "What am I doing wrong?"

"You're assigning blame to yourself, for one." Sugarcoat interjected. "Out of all of this, thinking you're the cause would be the exact opposite of what she'd want right now and you know that."

Sunny seemed to deflate, looking back down at the table. "She's used to taking on everything, that's a hard habit to break." Sour said, patting her back. "She doesn't want us to worry about her because in her mind it feels like her problems aren't that important." She said with a knowing frown. "Knowing someone who just wants you to be happy can go a long way into getting you out of that headspace, but it'll take time, just trust me on this, okay?"

"Speaking from experience?" Sugarcoat asked, Sour crossed her arms with a huff.

"Thanks, I'm just being impatient, I guess." Sunny sighed.

"We'll wear her down." Sour assured with a small smile.

---

The track played as Lemon bobbed her head, just vibing to the music. It was quiet, deliberate, the singer was mixing languages as she rapped this melancholic story. Indigo found herself trying to catch the lyrics, they spoke about the writer’s sadness and how she saw herself, referring to a lot of her emotions and thoughts as complicated. She felt some bit of empathy, wanting to know more about it, but also seeming to understand that pain. She felt like the song sped past, but she really enjoyed the sound.

She glanced over to Lemon, who had her eyes closed, just taking in the experience. This was how Lemon decompressed. It was her therapy, and she was sharing it with Indigo. ‘These girls are too good for me.’ She thought with a sad smile. The next track began, sounding just as somber, Lemon opened her eyes, though she looked distant, as if she was in her own head about something.

The musician mouthed the lyrics as Indigo tuned back in, it felt like a look back at the singer’s past. Wondering why she felt her dreams were out of reach, and noting how the person she used to be couldn’t be someone that she’d befriend today. This musician was extremely underrated if this was just another song in her catalog.

Beating herself up about where she is, while the people around her left while she pushed on. Missing the people she used to care about, but now not knowing if they even remember her. The ones who had such a profound impact on her life aren’t even around anymore. She looked down, that’s a harsh reality that some friendships don’t last…and through no fault of your own, you feel guilty for not trying harder to keep a hold of them.

She looked back to Lemon, the thought of never seeing her again one day made her heart sink. “I’m sorry I’m so difficult.” She mumbled.

“Don’t apologize. You’ve been through a lot, Indy.” Lemon said with a small smile as she lowered the music slightly.

“I’m tired of this crap y’know? I don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere.”

“It can feel that way, but I know for a fact that you have gotten places.”

With a sigh she slid down against the bed she sat beside. "Thanks, I'm just…tired." She frowned. "I put so much on you girls, Sunny was a mess at the hospital. I don't like seeing her so freaked out."

"We care about you, Indigo." Lemon said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Wouldn't you be as upset if this happened to any of us?"

"Of course I would."

"And how would you feel afterwards?"

"I'd still be worried, I get it. I understand what you're doing…" She mumbled. "It doesn't make it any less lame that I'm the reason you feel like this."

"It's tough to let people in, Indigo." Lemon said quietly. "It's hard to suddenly know support when you've had to hold yourself up for so long, and we understand that you're not ignoring us or trying to leave us out. You'll beat yourself up about it because you don't think we're going to be understanding about it." She squeezed her shoulder gently. "The worrying? The caring? It's not gonna stop anytime soon." She chuckled. "You're gonna have to get used to that, you're stuck with us. Sour has trouble with this as well y'know?"

"She does?"

"Yep. She's not one to open up about herself or at least, she wasn't until you came back around. She knows a good bit of what you're feeling, you don't know how many times she's tried to help us understand, most times without prompting. She's a sweetheart and really wants you to push through. I think she and you have a connection through your pain." She smiled sadly. "As much as I wish it was under better terms, you two understand each other in a way that other people wouldn't."

"I've felt that too." She said with a nod.

"Just-," She began, searching for the right words. "I know you're capable. We know you're independent and strong enough to stand on your own." She leaned over to put her arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a side hug. "But we're always there if you stumble. If you need a reminder, if you're ever feeling alone, if you need advice or even just affirmation. We love you, Indigo."

Indigo felt her eyes water, leaning into the girl beside her. "I don't know if I can ever deserve you girls…" She mumbled, wiping her eyes. "Thank you, Lemon."

"Anytime, dude." She grinned. "I mean it. Even if you're having a sleepless night. Call one of us. We'll be there."

"We're lucky to have someone like you around, Lemon." She chuckled.

Comments

[The Sleepless Beholder]

This was a lovely and necessary sharing of emotions. Things like this are never easy, and need a long time to solve. Luckily for Indy, her friends are as stubborn as her XD

Keep up the good work!

[WittyNameTFM]

11192217
I love how Lemon has become this kinda person who can just tell when someone needs to talk. Thank you for reading!

[Danyram1308]

When is the next chapter coming out?

[WittyNameTFM]

11218805
Putting the finishing touches on it, keep an eye out in the next few days :D