Slavery. He was born and grew up with, and is something he cannot tolerate. Trapped on a planet where everyone of his kind is a slave will bring the worst of the Lord of the Sith.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I believe it is "two edged (edge-ed) sword"
10561316
oh, thank you for pointing that out! Fixed!
YES YES YES YES YESSSSSS
Everyone who knew Thorax before are in for a shock when he shows up again as a Sith Warrior.
10554755
¡Gracias chico! Espero que te siga gustando
Hmm... While I do like the story, a proof reader to smooth out some of the errors in there would do it good.
Vader honestly probably learned more about negotiations from being around Thrawn as that was Thrawn’s preferred tactic. It’s interesting you gave Thorax Revan’s lightsaber. He needs a Sith name and should have the title “Sith Apprentice”.
10561529
Sith names are given to only Sith's that have the title of Darth that I remember, but yes, I already thought of a name for Thorax, but it will only be for the future
Noice
Quite a few grammar issues but I was still able to understand what was meant, tho it makes immersion in the story difficult.
Can’t wait to see the crystal empire fall beneath Vader’s boot
Y así nació Dark Bug.
I'm really liking this Vader more and more with each passing chapter. Good story so far.
This is getting so good I literally cannot wait for the next chapter I need it, give me life.
ahh snap son!
Wonder who the lightsaber belongs to. I hope it's Tulak Hord, who by the way waas a massive badass with a lightsaber.
Second line in and you have a glaring mistake.
This does not bode well.
10570954
I didn't find the part of this error, would you kindly point it out for me? please?
10571150
I litterly qouted it for you. Its in my comment.
Its in the first chapter in one of the first paragraphs.
10571581
fixed
10571919
If you can't go more then two full paragraphs before a major error perhaps you should edit your work at least once as well as getting an editor.
I think the last two chapters are in the wrong order.
I know serval people have said this but I think this new chapter is in the wrong order
10571919
last two chapters are in the wrong order.
My other big issue with this story is this:
I have not ever read "Would say" in any sort of descriptive text, especially when describing what somebody said after they had said it. It's so widely out there that I'm not even sure if it's just a tense mistake, or if it's just a writing style I've never seen before.
It must be a tensing error because of the other tensing errors in the story. 'Will' should be 'has' or 'begun' should be 'begin'
10593936
Yeah i noticed this too, i use too many 'would something' and 'however' to explain actions, i will do a checkup in mal the other chapters to fix this and make the story sound more smooth
It should be “I have” instead of “I was”.
Nah, bug-boy, you're fine. This Vader is talking to you through google-translate.
10720936
Lmao