Caverns & Cutie Marks: Our House Now

by TheColtTrio

Chapter 8: Two Can Be As Bad As One

“-and that was when Baron Von Wurst swung in through the window, his baguette rapier held at the ready and he was all, ‘I stand ready to deliver justice to those lacking or in need of it and this time you shall not escape it’! But that was just from his body language. All he actually said was, ‘Sup’. Which of course, naturally caused Princess Pineapple, Princess Durian and Prince Blueberry to instantly cheer up, it was also about this time that the evil tyrant Iceburg Lettuce entered the towers dungeon, flanked by Kumquat the Turncoat who took that moment to turn his coat back around and then he turned to face Baron Von Wurst and asked him if he realized how much it complicated things with him busting up the windows in a tower top dungeon an-”

“Wait, I’m confused,” Light Patch mumbled from under the pillow he’d never bothered to move when Pinkie started to explain her latest dream. “I thought Kumquat was at the BonBon Ball and that was a day or two away from Iceburg’s Castle?”

“You’re right! I forgot to mention he left the Ball early and rushed back because the letter he’d gotten was actually from Baron Von Wurst calling him to aid him in his rescue attempt!” Pinkie explained. She inhaled, preparing to start back in on the dream when Light Patch interrupted her again.

“Look,” Light Patch said, finally dragging the pillow off his head and turning to face Pinkie, “I appreciate the company. And that you're trying to cheer me up. But really, I’d like to just be alone for right now.”

“You sure? I mean, sometimes I think I wanna be left alone, but in reality, I don’t actually wanna be alone,” Pinkie replied.

“Yeah, I’m sure I actually wanna be left alone. If I decide I want company. I’m sure Spike is kicking around the castle somewhere.” Light Patch said, laying his head back on the bed. He assumed the silence that followed was because Pinkie had left. A quiet shuffling caused him to open an eye and look to find Pinkie quietly shifting in place, a concerned look on her face.

Her eyes caught his and she quickly asked, “are you abso-surely-lutely sure you wanna be left alone?”

“Yes.”

“But Twili- I mean, I’m worried about you.” Pinkie quickly tried to cover up her slip of the tongue.

“Did Twilight make you Pinkie Promise to stick around me?”

“No no no, she’s just worried about you three,” Pinkie quickly corrected.

“Bordering on paranoia,” Light Patch muttered. “It’s one thing to want to keep us from stewing due to lack of things to do, but it’s another to try to keep us from having a little down time.” Light Patch looked Pinkie right in the eye. “Whatever. I don’t care right now. I’m fine, Pinkie. I just need to be alone for a bit.”

“But... the rest of us are worried about you three as well. You’re all acting a little-”

Spike stuck his head into the room and after only a moment of looking around, his eyes locked onto the pink party pony. “Hey, Pinkie. I’m not sure what you’ve got in the kitchen ovens, but I think it’s starting to burn.”

“Oh no! I forgot about the cake I started here so I could stay here with you like Twilight asked me to and still do what I promised the Cakes I’d get done today!” Pinkie shouted, hovering in mid air before bolting off towards the kitchen.

“Thanks, Spike.”

“Not a problem.” Spike shrugged. “I understand the need to be alone for a while. Though, more from the direction of having too much of it sometimes.”

“Too much of anything can be bad.”

“I mean, I know I’m young, but I’m reasonably tough and basically fireproof. Honestly, they should bring me along more because I’d be a tremendous help in their adventures.”

“Nearly irreplaceable.”

“Not to mention that I’m small and can sneak around unnoticed.”

“Like the lone sock you left sitting on the dresser top.”

“And I can fit into tight spaces and crawl through air ducts to stage a breakout. I’m basically the dragon version of a multi tool,” Spike said, striking a pose.

“You forgot your hand writing skills.” Light Patch muttered.

“Oh right! I’m the best at hand writing!” Spike continued proudly until he met the glare Light Patch was shooting at him from under his pillow. “I’ll, uh... I’ll give you that alone time now.”

“Spike!” Twilight’s voice echoed from deeper in the castle before the little dragon could close the door. “Spike, where are you?!” Her voice called again much closer.

“Here Twilight!” he answered, shooting a quick apologetic smile towards Light Patch.

“Spike, why is Pinkie trying to burn our castle down with cakes when she said she’d keep an eye on Light Patch today?” Twilight asked, her voice getting closer and her hoof steps becoming hearable shortly after the familiar pop of teleportation.

“Because Light Patch is still here in the castle?” the dragon answered cautiously, trying to not look through the open door he was standing near.

“I thought we’d agreed to not let him mope around the castle and to make sure he’s out and about,” Twilight said, coming around the corner at the end of the corridor.

“I think you and the other’s agreed. I suggested giving him and the other two colts some time to themselves,” Spike recalled, his fists resting on his hips.

“I’m just worried about them.” Twilight sat down in front of Spike so she could rub her forehead near her horn as if to fight off a headache. “Their powers from Discords games seem to be back, on top of new things manifesting. Suddenly, Light Patch is off brand Pinkie, Wits seems to be trying to be Mega Stallion, and Purple Heart is... Well, I don’t know what he is, but it’s more intense than I’ve ever seen.” Twilight threw her hooves out to punctuate her shouting.

“So things are getting a little weird. To be fair, you girls tend to be weirdness magnets,” Spike countered as he tried to quietly close the door without Twilight looking into it. “Why are you so focused on keeping them busy?”

“I was hoping the girls might be able to get some insight into the weird powers. For example, I was hoping Pinkie would be able to figure out how much of her abilities Light Patch is manifesting.”

“You’re having the girls run tests on them?” Spike asked, his hands returning to rest balled up on his hips, having forgotten about the door.

“No... Maybe... Sort of... I just want to make sure they aren’t... I just want to confirm a few things,” Twilight finished weakly.

“Are you going Enclave on me, Twilight?” Light Patch asked, having lifted the pillow that he was trying to hide under. Twilight jumped to her hooves with a yelp and stuck her head through the door frame to look at the pegasus with a mixture of confusion, shock, and annoyance.

“How long have you been here?” Twilight asked.

“All day. This is the room you assigned to me,” Light Patch replied, rolling onto his side to look up at Twilight who was frowning as she digested his response and earlier question.

“What do you mean by ‘enclave’?” She finally asked.

“Ugh. I didn’t wanna explain this... Okay, short version: the Enclave was a shadowy organization in the U.S. government in a fictional universe. A big war was looming on the horizon and they felt the best way to save themselves was to go into space. To see if that would work, they had vaults made which would pretend to save people from the war, but were really just meant to run experiments on people to see if long term survival in space was feasible.”

“I’m not experimenting on you three, just testing a fe-”

“I never said it was a perfect analogy, but the three of us don’t really appreciate how hard you're trying to hide your tests without actually doing a good job of hiding them,” Light Patch interrupted, waving his free hoof around. “If you want to do tests and check things, just ask us. Don’t hide it like we’re state enemies number one through three.”

“I’m just concerned. All through your time in the mirror world, you never showed any of your abilities and then suddenly you come here and they’re back? And all three of you have been acting a little weir-”

“Try getting kidnapped from your world twice and thrown into life threatening situations, see what that does to your normal state of mind.” Light Patch suddenly took a deep breath in and held it for a few moments before finally letting it out. “I’m not dealing with this right now, I really don’t care. I’ll let Purple Heart or Wits End deal with you and your experiments on us. I really don’t care right now.” He mimed washing his fore hooves before rolling over on the bed to face away from Twilight.

“This is exactly what I’m talking about! If I told the Light Patch I know that his friends seemed to be a little off, he’d be trying to find any and every way to help them! You just shrug and say it’s not your problem!” Twilight breathed heavily, pointing a hoof accusingly at him. “The Light Patch I knew cares about things. You don’t.”

“You try caring all of the time, see how long it takes before you’re burnt out trying to put out every fire by yourself! We stopped the villains Discord made. Or so we thought. Granted, we missed one that managed to escape and cause havoc in another world that we got dragged into to clean up another mess that we got blamed for! Then, when we do manage to clean up the mess, we immediately get dropped into some void which then scatters us across Equestria rather than lets us go home!” Twilight’s ears folded back as the volume of Light’s voice continued to rise.

“First thing that happens when I get back is I run into a farm in trouble and try, and fail, to save it!” Light Patch grunted as his gestures elicited pulses of soreness, reminding him he was still healing some. “As a result, I get the tar and stuffing beaten out of me! Then, I get brought back to your castle and, rather than being greeted like a friend, it feels like I’m some alien being studied by scientists in a lab!” He paused and tried the breath trick again, this time rubbing his head with the leg on which the magic suppressor was attached.

“Like I mentioned before, I’m not a hero. I don’t have the experience or endurance you and your friends have, Twilight. I need time to rest.” The pegasus’ tone suddenly became very calm. “Rest and not being treated like I’m the next big villain. And it’s clear to see that I’m not going to get it here.”

Light Patch looked at the magic suppressor. To the surprise of the other two in the room, he slid it off without issue and tossed it to the ground in front of the alicorn. “There is your little trinket, Twilight. You might want to look into sizing that thing better next time. It’s a little lose.

“How did... It shouldn’t have come off! It shouldn’t have! I’m the only one who could’ve removed it...” Twilight stammered, staring at the bangle on the floor. She looked up at the pegasus and noticed that his eyes looked different. A new light seemed to shimmer behind his eyes, almost making the whites look like the inside of an oyster’s shell.

“I’ll be back when I’ve actually had a chance to think by myself,” Light Patch said, hopping off the bed.

“Light Patch, wait! I’m jus-” Twilight started to say, moving to block the doorway when he just winked out of existence. She looked around in confusion. Pinkie suddenly burst into the room followed by Spike who had been quietly watching from just past the door frame.

“I heard the shouting! What's wrong? And where’s Light Patch?” Pinkie asked, dashing about the room.

“I thought you could feel when he was using your abilities?” Twilight asked, confused and a little stunned.

“Yeah, normally. But there’s no way that could have been my powers. I mean, for starters, his disappearance wasn’t funny in the slightest. I usually can’t make them work during intense moments. Sometimes during big fights, but only when it’d be funny,” Pinkie replied,looking under the bed Light Patch had been in.

“Not that I’ve got a lot of experience,” Spike chimed in, “but that seemed more like the way Discord teleports rather than a unicorn or Pinkie.” He saw his look of concern mirrored on Pinkie and Twilight’s faces. Twilight sighed and looked back at the magic suppressor band. She frowned and, with a look of confusion, she asked.

“Wait... when did this break?”

Comments

[Mix-up]

Nice to see that Light Patch isn't all humor, and that Twilight is called out on her unfounded suspicions on the colt Trio.

[StarzGecko]

I have a feeling they will be kidnap a 3rd time going into the G5 timeline.