Chapter 95 (The Saddle Row Review)
I was sitting in a diner at Manehattan. The server delivered my meal, an Equestrian breakfast special, while a reporter sat on the other side of the table.
“Normally, I don’t interview kids,” the reporter said, “but your pony friends told me you were sharp for your age, so I’ll let this be an exception.”
“Thank you for having me,” I replied. “Before we begin, I have to ask. Have I seen you somewhere before? You look familiar.”
“You must’ve seen our scoop on Suri Polomare’s trail. We’ve peaked in popularity after that day.”
“Yeah, that must be it.”
Though to be honest, I thought you would be somepony who wanted pictures of a hero with spider powers.
“Now, onto the interview.” The reporter clapped his hooves together. “Miss Rarity talked about how she got her store up and running, but tell me in your own words how it went down.”
“Well, there were some bumps,” I replied. “But we were all able to pull through.”
“Elaborate.”
“Okay, so the girls and I just made it to Manehattan…”
The girls and I walked down the streets of Manehattan.
“Thank you so much for coming with me, girls and Spike,” Rarity said. “I know this was last minute, but with all I’ve done lately, I almost forgot about my shop’s grand opening tonight.”
“It’s fine, Rarity,” responded Twilight. “That’s why we’re here to help. We’ll be sure to get your shop up and running in no time.”
But I knew what was going to happen. The girls would try to organize everything to what Rarity wants, but their first attempts would end in a disaster. They would then learn that Rarity wants everypony to bring out the best in themselves, and they would later fix everything just in time to open the boutique.
“Stop, stop, stop,” the reporter held out a hoof. “I’m sorry, but what did you mean by that?”
“Huh?” I raised an eyebrow.
“What did you mean you knew what was going to happen?”
“Well, I’ve been around the girls long enough that I can predict everything they’ll say or do. It’s both a blessing and a curse.”
“I see.”
“Moving on…”
By the time we went into Rarity’s store, the place was in shambles. There was dust, cobwebs, and rotten wood everywhere. How the girls would manag to spruce everything up in such little time was beyond me.
“Rarity, it's lovely,” Twilight said, “but are you sure you'll be ready to open tonight?”
Pinkie sneezed, covering almost everypony in dust. Luckily I was behind Twilight and only got a few dollops on me.
“No need to fret over a mere moderate amount of preparation,” Rarity said as we brushed the lightweight filth off ourselves. “My clothes arrive soon, my sales associate after that, and with a little...dusting, we'll be ready for the grand opening tonight.”
That's when Mr. Stripes, the landlord of Rarity’s new boutique, came in with his daughter, Plaid Stripes. He wanted Rarity to hire Plaid for her shop, and he mentioned that he’ll raise the rent if Rarity doesn’t.
I’m pretty sure that’s blackmail.
I was willing to overlook that threat, partially because it was too late to find another shop, and there were some of Plaid’s ideas (besides the glowing teeth and horn doorbell) that weren’t too bad.
Rarity hired Plaid on the spot, and we continued cleaning. Rarity went to the back of the store when…
“YAAHH!! Fluttershy!” Rarity screamed. “Your assistance is required in the stockroom posthaste!”
Flutttershy hurried over to the back. I followed her even though Rarity didn’t call for me.
“Aw, hello,” Fluttershy fawned.
I entered to see a trio of racoons. Rarity was on the barrel, shivering.
“But what are they doing here?” Rarity asked.
One of the raccoons chittered to which Fluttershy translated, “Smoky made too much noise eating garbage, so Softpad's mother made them move out of the trash can.”
The smallest racoon chittered.
“Then Smoky Jr. found a nice home in the crawl space behind the building. But after it was demolished, they camped out here until they could find a new place to live.”
Rarity hopped off the barrel and exited the small room. “I can't have a family of rubbish-scented raccoons living in my boutique!”
“We can always clean them and hire them as workers,” I suggested.
Before Rarity could respond, a low booming sound shook the dusty ceiling above us.
“Uh, did you hear that?” Rarity asked worryingly.
(“Turns out there's a Club Pony Party Palace upstairs,” I said. “I bet you already heard that from some of the other girls.”)
(“Would you believe me if I said ‘yes’?” the reporter asked.)
“Continue cleansing if you will, girls and Spike,” Rarity said. “I shall try to get the ponies upstairs to tone the music down.”
She left the building. The rest of us resumed our cleaning, but with the thumping music, it was hard for them to concentrate.
“I wish we were having as much fun as they are,” Rainbow complained.
“Well, sweeping can be fun, too.” Twilight swept to the beat. “Sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep. Sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep...”
(“I know that if you can remix it properly, any song can be catchy,” I said. “Don’t tell Rainbow or Applejack I said this, but they actually liked Twilight’s sweeping song.”)
As we continued sweep-sweep-sweeping, Rarity returned looking like she was told off by her own mother.
“What happened?” I asked.
Rarity cried, “Apparently, DJ Pon-3 has a residency at the Party Palace upstairs, but security won't let me speak to her!”
HONK!!
“Aah! What in the name of Celestia was that?!”
Plaid initially installed one of her father’s old horns to the door, which Rarity seemed against.
Things didn’t get better. Just like in…er…my mind, Rarity’s clothes arrived completely disorganized, and Coco Pommel had to call in sick. With everything going on, Rarity behaved in her usual fashion.
“My dream is doomed!” screamed Rarity. “Doomed, I tell you! Doomed!”
“I know things haven't gone perfectly so far, but we've done this kind of thing before.” Twilight reassured her dramatic friend. “If we all work together…”
“I appreciate the offer, but this is Manehattan. To make it in the fashion scene here, everything has to be perfect. The perfect location! The perfect clothes! The perfect opening!”
“Maybe we should just postpone.”
“Postpone?! Darling, tonight is the last night of the fall season!”
“It’s the middle of summer, Rarity,” I pointed out.
“I’m sorry, last night of the mid-summer season,” Rarity corrected herself. “If we don't open tonight, it won't be...”
“Perfect,” Twilight and I said simultaneously.
“Yes, and I know what needs to be done. I just need more of me! Oh, how I wish I could make copies of myself.”
“No! We are not doing that again!” I stepped in front of Rarity. “Having one of our friends cloned last time was bad enough.”
“Rarity, listen. We can do this,” said Twilight. “And we can stay true to your vision.”
After Rarity gained most of her composure, she assigned all of us to different tasks. Fluttershy was to take care of the raccoons; Applejack was to handle Plaid’s ideas; Pinkie Pie, the upstairs music; Twilight, the dress-sorting; Rainbow Dash, the hiring; and me, keeping everypony’s sanity in check.
(“We both agreed that there should only be one pony freaking out,” I said.)
Rarity entered the window display. The second she closed the door, I propped a chair against the knob.
(“Uh…please don’t add that part,” I firmly suggested.)
“Is everything alright out there?” Rarity asked.
“Yes, but the knob just broke,” I lied. “Don’t worry, we’ll have it fixed before opening.”
“Oh, dear. Thanks for the update. I’m going to be here for a while anyway.”
I quickly hurried to the rest of the Mane 6.
“Okay, girls, before we begin, do we all understand what Rarity wants us to do exactly?” I asked.
“Duh! She wants us to get rid of the raccoons, turn off the party music, and all that other stuff,” Rainbow replied.
“Are you sure that’s what Rarity really wants?”
“What else could she want?” Pinkie asked. “For us to solve her problems our way instead of what she would do herself because she knows all of us so well and why she asked for our help opening the store in the first place?”
Everypony stared at her with wide eyes. The realization arrived on Pinkie’s face soon after.
“Ohhhhh, doing this our way is what Rarity wants!” Pinkie exclaimed.
“Precisely!” Twilight replied.
Everypony split up and did their respective tasks. Pinkie went upstairs to get Vinyl to implement her music into the shop. Fluttershy suggested to the raccoons that they can stay as long as they were willing to work for Rarity’s boutique. Applejack listened to some of Plaid’s ideas and was willing to give her a chance. Rainbow used her own process to hire the potential workers: a race. Twilight arranged the dresses with her own organization method. I made sure there weren't any slip-ups.
After hours of prepping, the store was ready to open. I quickly removed the chair from the window display’s door, and I instantly caught Rarity as she fell out.
“Heh, fixed the knob,” I said.
“Thank you,” Rarity said as I put her down. “Oh! What's all this?”
Thanks to everypony’s efforts, the shop was set up and decorated swiftly and stylishly. Dresses hung on every wall, mannequins stood on every corner, and a set of speakers and DJ rested on the back wall.
(“We can all thank Twilight for that.” I rolled my eyes.)
“I knew I could count on all of you!” Rarity quickly hugged Twilight. “Alright...I suppose this is the moment of truth...”
Rarity opened the door, ringing the bell above it.
(“Applejack and Plaid compromised on replacing the horn,” I said. “Thankfully, Mr. Stripes had an antique bell that fit with the store’s style.”)
“‘Rarity For You’ is now open!” Rarity announced to the crowd.
And what a crowd it was! The long list of ponies flooded the sidewalks as if Rarity’s boutique was a raving club.
“Oh, dear. I wasn't quite prepared for such a crowd,” Rarity said as the horde shuffled in. “How will I handle them all?”
Thankfully, Rainbow Dash took care of that. There were three ponies qualified for the shopping assistant position, so she hired them all. It was lucky that Rarity was able to afford all three at once.
The rest of the girls handled everything else. Pinkie invited Vinyl Scratch to play a shopping music remix. Fluttershy washed the raccoon family and made them outfits so they could serve snacks to customers. Applejack let Plaid show off her new spoon accessories.
“This is the most whimsical and wonderfully fashionable boutique I've ever seen!” one of the patrons announced.
The rest of the crowd joyfully chattered at that.
“...and later on, a reporter came in asking to interview the girls and me,” I concluded, “and now here we are.”
“You don’t need to include that part, kid,” the reporter pointed out. “Okay, that’s it for this interview. Thanks for taking the time to be here.”
“No problem.” I shook his hoof. “I look forward to seeing the review in the papers.”
After the reporter left, I quickly finished the rest of my meal and paid the check with tips included. That’s when I bumped into Pinkie wearing a fedora.
“Oops, sorry, Pinkie,” I said.
She quickly tilted her hat and raced to the bathroom.
“Huh. Weird.”
Back in Ponyville a few days later, the girls sans Rarity were speeding through town to get to Carousel Boutique. I casually ambled along.
“For pete’s sake, Spike!” Rainbow zoomed up to me. “Will you keep up with us already?!”
She shoved me onto her back and zipped up to the Carousel Boutique.
“What’s the rush?” I asked as I hopped off. “That review can’t be that bad.”
“That’s easy for you to say!” Rainbow retorted. “I still can't believe we all just blabbed everything that happened to that reporter!”
“Look, Rarity’s opening was still a success, and we solved the issues with only minor problems. Do you honestly think that the reporter would straight up make a bad review?”
“Who knows how Manehattan reporters do their job? For all we know, he could pretty much point out such problems without even mentioning anything else!”
The rest of the girls showed up out of breath and with the same panicked face as Dashie’s.
“You're all overreacting, you know that?” I asked.
Twilight said, “Spike’s right. Rarity's our friend. If anypony is gonna understand, it'll be her.”
Twilight was about to knock on the door when Rarity opened it with a brooding look on her face.
Rarity said grimly, “I was wondering when all of you were going to show up.” She then instantly changed her expression. “Now we can all read the review together!”
“Um, I have an idea. How 'bout we don't read it?” Rainbow Dash suggested as we all went inside the shop.
Twilight took the paper away. “What she means is, before you read it, we should probably tell you about—”
Rarity snatched the paper back. “No, no, darling. Please, no spoilers.”
“But—”
“NO SPOILERS!!”
Everypony sat at the nearby table as Rarity put her glasses on.
“Now, is everypony ready to hear what I'm sure is a stellar review that describes in stunning detail exactly how each of you contributed to the successful opening of Rarity For You?” Rarity asked.
“Yes!” I said enthusiastically.
Everypony else looked at me.
I shrugged. “Am I the only one who’s not acting so worried?”
Rarity read the review. It was similar to what was written in the show, with only a few minor details changed, like the disaster of the girls’ first attempts omitted and some aspects added from my interview.
“‘In the end,’” Rarity finished, “‘Rarity's grand opening was a smashing success, as predicted! True, it got off to a rocky start, but somehow this rag-tag group of ne'er-do-wells (oh, heavens, I think he means you) came together and created the perfect boutique. A vision of Rarity combined with the expertise of her friends! This reporter, for one, is a believer.’” Rarity put the paper down. “Is that why you didn’t want me to see your process or read the paper?”
“We all figured you had enough on your mind,” Twilight replied.
“And we didn't want you to think that the opening wasn't perfect,” added Applejack.
Rarity chuckled. “Ne'er-do-wells or not, I know I can always count on all of you. And nothing could be more perfect than that.”
We all shared a group hug. Honestly, I didn’t expect to change this episode very much aside from preventing the girls from messing up the first time. At least I got the chance to do an interview with a news reporter. That never happened back in my old world.
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More good
Always a reason to celebrate a update. Got to love common sense and foresight to be the superpower only a few heros enjoy
👍
Spike is a class all on their own
Can we use the Mirror pool to make copies of Spike?
Equestria's wide nation dragon mail system would be born
When I saw that, I immediately started reading the reporter's lines in J.K. Simmons' voice.
That sounds dirty...
🤝
I wonder if the reporter had Parker in his name...
Ah, now that's a classic that'll never get old.
Hmmm, I wonder if that was a leftover clone from somewhere?
Nah, you're good. You do you.
Now that was a good epsiode. Honestly, this is one of the few episodes I liked. I wonder if Spike will go to Canterlot to try Saffron's dish?
Nice.
And don't worry I'm not disappointed you didn't call out the landlord like I suggested earlier. There was no time for him to do so, and after all, there is a place for an eccentric, creative mind like Plaid Stripes'.
(You just have to work with it and the ideas that come forth.) (It's just I had wished she would learn to take no for an answer, develop some thick skin in the big city, and not be a snowflake about it...)
No. No you are not.
I use it all the time in my chapters to show which character is the focus. But thats not the only use, it can be to show a timeskip, or other things.
Thy do as thou doest.
This line reminded me of the opening line from a song I've been kinda obsessed with lately: "My name is Billie and I'm freaking out"
That was the Pinkie Clone that got away!
11707515
I couldn't believe Spike missed that. I thought this is a famous conspiracy theory among MLP fans.
You are too trusting to a reporter. Remember Jonah Jameson always write bad review to Spiderman?
11707515
Or EqG Pinkie
Sometimes the minorest changes are the best ones. Good chapter.
11707763
i agree but that also means EQG Pinkie has similar Reality bending powers that her counterpart has since it is said she "ran into the bathroom" not "she ran away" so she either has some reality bending powers or there is multiple ways to enter Equestria besides the 2 we know of. Though i choose to believe that EQG Pinkie has similar reality bending powers and just loves coming to this cafe when she needs somewhere just to relax and think
11666753
Twilight unfortunately wouldn't notice if a friend was hurting unless it was shoved in her face. Remember how mare do well originally went? She didn't even realize how much rainbow was hurting much less realize that if they had a private talk with her they wouldn't have had to go to all that trouble in the first place.
For an episode/chapter that was broken into these little snippets, you didn’t use [ HR ] too much. Such a minor change really resolved the issue in this one. I cannot wait to see how the Changeling Hive changed or if Thorax had to run.
pbs.twimg.com/media/FFFclmdXEAYkJYg?format=jpg&name=small
A reporter that doesn't embellish facts and overexaggerate events?!
Why even bother blackmailing someone with a direct line to three Princesses? Twilight's already there, for one, and Rarity's also close to Celestia and Luna.
That just seems dumb, to me; these girls aren't exactly "commoners" or "nobodies" anymore, not for a long time now. I mean, they essentially are the frontmost defenders of Equestria, making them in essence "royal guards", even if they aren't part of the actual military force.
Rarity should have planned things out more, survey what she wanted to buy before purchasing.
Seriously, this is very unlike Rarity Belle.
I seen and used worse in disguard of the 'HR' command.