The Complex Formula of Love
A little early on this one. Got a big New Year plan.
And by big. I meant private, seeing this whole pandemic still being on. 
Stay safe everyone and stay healthy. And if you're bored, here's a little chapter to get you through the day. 
Chapter 50: The Complex Formula of Love
(House by the hill)
It was a calm and peaceful afternoon. Just how Rarity liked it. After all the excitement they’ve had over the last week or so, this little calm-after-the-storm felt like the perfect break from the mayhem. It gave her time to catch up on a few gossips that she’s been missing out and make new designs. Her role in Hoity Toity’s fashion program may have hit a dead end but that was no reason to be tardy. She simply needed to get back on the horse and wait for another opportunity to come crashing by.
“RARITY!” The fashionista shot from her chair, scattering papers and fabric all over the place when a bombastic presence burst in through her door unannounced. “Great. You're here. Got a minute?”
Rarity slumped back to her chair, fixing her crumpled hair, holding a frustrated groan. “Oh… Rainbow Dash. Please. Do come in. Make yourself at home.” She said with a deadpanned sarcastic tone. “It’s not like I was busy making my new spring lineup or anything.”
“Great. Because I need your help.” Whether she was too busy to notice or was oblivious to her sarcasm, Rainbow Dash did just that.
Rarity entertained the idea of kicking her out. It would be oh so satisfying. But then again she’d probably just annoy her until she accepted. So she may as well just get it over with and save herself the headache. “Ugh… what is it this time? Are you and Pinkie Pie doing another prank war? Did you break one of Applejack’s buckets or frighten another one of Fluttershy's friends? You know that never ends well, right?”
“What? No!” The sports gal actually raised her voice. “This is serious.”
The fashion diva rolled her eyes. What counted as serious for a girl like Rainbow was set low in people’s standard – or at the very least her standards. The last time she had an emergency was during the spring break yacht tour – and we all know how well that ended.
“Fine. What is it?”
Strangely enough, Rainbow closed the door behind her and locked it. She twiddled her thumbs looking all shy and ashamed. Like Opal whenever she’s caught with her claws in the catnip.
“Ok. But before I say anything. You have to promise me that you won’t say a word to anyone.”
Rarity blinked. Something was off here. Rainbow has never been one to shy away from things. Unless it’s really REALLY bad. There was also a strange sense of déjà vu.
“O… kay?” Rarity nodded, starting to sound worried. “Aren’t you exaggerating a bit? It can’t be that serious.” The girl’s sweating face said otherwise.
“No.” Oh thank god. “It’s worse. A lot worse.”
I don’t like where this is going.
“Well? Out with it then.”
“I might’ve done something… bad.” That sounded like the beginning of a crime confession. “Like REALLY bad.” She let out a sigh. “Ok… so you know how my parents are, right?”
Sure she does. Everyone in school does. They were the kind of parents who love their kid very much. Honestly a little too much to be honest. They’re practically Rainbow’s biggest and closest fans and her parents all in one. A bit embarrassing but also very sweet.
“Well… last night, things got sorta… weird.”
The fashionista squinted. “Weird how?”
“We were watching a rerun of the games and then… mom started spouting that I have a boyfriend and then dad went along with it!”
Ah. Now she gets it. The same old parent waiting for their kids to find romance in their life. It’s a tale as old as time. Now that she thinks about it, Rainbow Dash was in that age where she would develop interest in a more… serious relationship. Rarity had the same experience once before with her parents. A long time ago. And it’s not like she hasn’t been in one before. It’s because there weren’t anyone worthy of her time and attention.
Seriously, a rising like star like her deserved someone refined. A movie star, a well renowned soul who can take care of all of her attentive needs. Fame was a big denominator.
“Rarity!”
“Huh?” She balked. “Yes dear. I’m listening.”
Rainbow Dash gave her distrusting look but continued. “So like I said. I told them that no. But then mom brought up Flash of all people.”
The name got her out of her stupor. “Eh? Excuse me?”
“Yeah! I know right? I mean… just because he’s the first ever guy I ever brought home, her imagination goes spiraling everywhere.” Oh thank god. Rarity was dreading the worst.
“Rainbow… darling.” She cooed. “This is perfectly normal. Your parents are simply looking out for you. You are in that age after all.”
“Ugh… you sound just like mom.”
“It’s all natural. You don’t have to take it seriously at all. Just tell them that you’ll go at your own pace. I don’t see what the problem is.”
“Yeah. Well… that wasn’t really the problem.” Rainbow’s face pruned which only made her friend’s brow curl. “You see… when I told them that I wasn’t really seeing anybody, they wanted to introduce me to a few of their… friends.”
Oh… OH!
“An arranged meeting?” Rarity’s face beamed. “A rather old method but not unheard of. I don’t suppose there are some… potential partners on their list?”
“Rarity!”
“Right right. Sorry. One track mind today.” She bobbed her head in apology. “So what did you say?”
And then suddenly, Rainbow’s face turned red. “Well… I… kind of lied to them.” That… was not what she was expecting.
“Oh dear. Rainbow. You of all people should know full well that you shouldn’t be lying to your parents.”
“They were trying to hook me up with somebody! Do you know how that feels!?” No. But Pinkie certainly can. But Rarity wasn’t gonna say that out loud.
“Alright fine. What is this really bad thing you said to them?”
Rainbow Dash groaned, her fingers twiddling with one another as she turned away. “I… may have told them that I was seeing Flash.”
…
…
…
Oh for heaven’s sake!
(Twilight’s house)
It was a light and airy Twilight who made it back to her house, a hint of skipping can be heard in her steps. Her outing with Flash went well. Really well. She can’t remember the last time she enjoyed such revelry. The girl was practically beaming and humming a song to herself without a single care in the world. So much so that she forgot how the food even tasted.
She and Flash spoke of magic and mystery well into the late afternoon – and while he couldn’t make heads or tails out of some of her Techno-Sorcery mumbo jumbo, it was nice to have an ear to banter to. She could never talk about this with her family without exposing the existence of magic. Shining Armor wouldn’t really understand and Cadance just about had enough of that since the Friendship Game. She could talk about it with Sunset but she hardly had time to even discuss things lately.
“Looks like someone had a good lunch date.” Twilight wasn’t even bothered when her evil twin decided to show up, cracking a grin so mischievous that it would make toddlers bawl. “Fun day?”
Oh please. She knew damn well how it went. Even though she was invisible Twilight could feel her alter ego breathing down her neck like a psychotic stalker.
“It was ok.” Twilight hummed, kicking off her shoes as she entered her home.
“Ok?” Midnight challenged, eyes cast with an amused tone. “Ok!? Is taking you out to a semi-fancy restaurant an ‘ok’ date to you?”
Her cheeks darkened a bit recalling some portions. “It wasn’t a date. Just a normal outing between friends.”
“Oh sure~ a normal outing between friends~~.” The fallen angel wooed. “Tell me something. Does a normal outing between friends include a movie, a VIP shopping spree, and a visit to the petting zoo? Because I might’ve missed that.”
Twilight couldn’t really challenge that. It was… kind of spontaneous. She was only expecting to get a meal out of the whole deal. But when Flash invited her for the rest of the afternoon to tour the mall together, she accepted the offer in a heartbeat.
And from there on, the whole afternoon seemed to have gone by in a blink of an eye. They went to a cheesy comedic movie and thoroughly enjoyed it, they hopped from store to store trying out accessories and a bunch of tools that caught their fancy, and they even went to the pet store under the pretense of getting Spike a new collar – but instead stayed there for a whole hour petting rabbits and fluffy sheep.
“We were just having a good time.” Twilight reasoned to her evil clone, looking as proper as she could possibly could despite the circumstances. “There’s nothing wrong with that. Besides… who knew we actually had a lot in common?” Well she sorta knew. After all they were in the same science and robotics club together. They had exquisite taste in music, and magic seemed to be their common bond.
“I still think you should’ve given him a kiss.” If Midnight expected a reaction out of her, she was sorely disappointed.
But quietly, Twilight couldn’t help but entertain the thought. Normally, guys wouldn’t take a girl out for such a good time on a first date. Especially not on such an expensive trip. Normally an ordinary pair would save such an outing for their 3rd or 4th date. A part of her was glad he didn’t asked for a kiss. Another part of her can go jump off a cliff.
“Oh well. Whatever I guess.” Midnight added. “Good luck on your next ‘Friendly’ outing.”
“I don’t think I’ll be going on another one for a while.”
“Who are you talking to?”
“Gah!” The girl jumped when a voice interrupted her inner conversation. “T… Timber? You’re here? How?”
“Of course I’d be here.” He snuck in a peck on the lip which she unconsciously avoided. “Can’t take you on our most amazing trip if I’m not around.”
Right… their weeklong stay at Camp Everfree. “I… wasn’t expecting you for another hour.”
“A good boyfriend arrives on time. A great boyfriend arrives early.” He casually added, holding a proud smile on his face. “Besides, I was pretty excited to take you on this trip. And I see you were too.” He held back a laugh. “You look amazing.”
Twilight cast her eyes downward and realized that she was still in her date clothes. A little wrinkly on the side, but nothing Timber could ever notice.
“Oh uh… thanks.” Why was she suddenly feeling anxious all of a sudden? She knew she made plans with her boyfriend. And him complimenting on her looks shouldn’t be anything relatively new. “I was out… getting some stuff.”
“I can see that.” He nodded. “Ready to go? I already told your folks about our vacation. Got my ride gassed up and I planned the most amazing camping trip of your life.”
“R… right! I’ll uh… go get Spike and we can be off.” Her heart strangely wavered. And for the briefest of seconds she was even considering to decline. She hastily made for her room unaware of her evil counterpart grinning maniacally in the darkest corner of her mind.
(House by the hill)
“Flash Sentry!?” Rarity yelled with such fury that fire metaphorically burned through her eyes. “Our Flash Sen- THE… Flash Sentry!? Sunset’s ex-boyfriend!?”
Rainbow swallowed, sinking in the corner like a rat that woke a dragon from its slumber. “Uh… yes?”
“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?” The purple lady roared, partially out of anger and partially out of confusion. “Why in the world would you say that you were dating him of all people!?”
“To be fair, I said no at first.” Oh sure. Like anyone was gonna believe that. “But then mom and dad started to say that they were gonna set me up with some of their friend’s kids and… things got awkward. So I thought if I told them that I was seeing someone else… they wouldn’t bug me.”
“And did that work?”
Her sulky expression pretty much said it all. “Uh… no. They said they want to meet with him as soon as possible.”
Rarity smashed her head on the wall.
What in the world was going on? This can’t be a coincidence. First Applejack, then Pinkie Pie, now Rainbow Dash? Granted, the third idiot here was probably just using him as a bailout card. But still! Why him? Why that lovable goof of all people? Can you imagine if all of them found out that they were each aiming for the same guy? The guy who used to date Sunset Shimmer?
The amount of awkwardness between them would be unimaginable.
“Couldn’t you just told them the truth?” She asked, face still planted to the wall.
“You wouldn’t be saying that if you saw the people they were setting me up with. I mean… Soarin, Bright Idea, Heath Burns, even… ugh… Zephyr Breeze.” She shivered on that last one, which was understandable. Zephyr was quite the…… character… in his own right. “So whadayasay? Can you help me out?”
Can she help her out? Probably. Does she want to help her out of this jam she got herself in? Heck no! That was a garbage fire of epic proportion. She wouldn’t touch that problem with a 50-foot pole. Rarity would much rather let this girl rot in the hole she dug for herself.
But unfortunately – as her friend – she had to.
Taking a deep breath, Rarity decided to tackle one problem at a time.
“Alright. Fine.” She said in defeat. “I’ll help you.”
“YES!” Rainbow jumped out and gave the fashionista a big hug only to stop half way when she stopped her.
“But for this whole thing to work, you will have to do things exactly as I say. Got it?”
“Got it.” She agreed too readily. “Uh… what thing exactly?”
“The problem here is that you don’t want your parents nagging you about your relationships, right?” Rainbow nodded dumbly in reply. “But for that to happen, you need a shield. And sadly you decided to say that… ugh… you were dating Flash Sentry.” Another nod. “But to sell that lie, they want you to bring him in for…?”
“Huh? Oh! Uh… dinner.”
“A dinner date.” Rarity mumbled, tapping the tip of her lips. She paced around the room, brainstorming, using every possible knowledge of TV tropes and reality show dramas to the fullest extent. Out there in all that useless archive of information, there had to be a solution. And thankfully, there was one. “AHA! I got it!”
“What? WHAT!?”
“Have you ever watched Emerald Oaks?”
Rainbow tilted her head. “That mushy TV show about speed-dating?” She darted away blushing. “No. Why?”
“Well in one episode, the protagonist suffers a scenario just like this. She didn’t like her parents setting her up with boys from the net so she pretended to date someone else.”
“O…kay? How does that help me?”
“Quiet on the set please.” Rarity ordered as she went on. “The task is simple: If the only way to get out of this situation is to get them to meet Flash, then we let them meet Flash. You’ll show your parents that you’re having a rather serious relationship with him and then they’ll leave you alone.”
“But… I don’t want to date Flash.” Ah… finally… some sane logic in all this madness.
“It’s only pretending.” She clarified. “We’ll have Flash in on the whole plan and have him play the part of the loving boyfriend. And when your parents are satisfied, you’ll tell them that you two broke up along the way.”
“Won’t they just set me up again if I did?” Oh Rainbow Dash. Sweet innocent Rainbow Dash. You have so much to learn in the life of love and war.
“Oh goodness no.” Rarity laughed it off heartily. “First loves are very beautiful darling, but also very fragile. And first breakups can be very damaging to someone as… delicate as… you. Everyone knows that a girl would need time to sort through some emotions to get over such a turbulent event.”
“They do?”
“I’m pretty sure they’ll leave you alone for hmhmh… a few years at the very least.”
“Really?” Rainbow gawked. “That’s… that’s awesome! I knew I could count on you Rare.”
“But only if the plan works.” The fashionista reminded. “We’d best call Flash and let him on this. The sooner we get him to meet your parents, the sooner we can settle this problem.”
“You think he’ll say yes to this whole nonsense?” Honestly, a part of me wishes he’d say no and you can go and fix your problem your own darn way.
“He fixed your bike, didn’t he?” She retorted which the sports gal replied with a touché. “And he gave Sunset this big’ole house. I think a simple pretend game won’t be too much trouble. Oh and I don’t need to tell you that no one must ever know of this. Ever.”
“Oh absolutely. There’s no way I’d tell anyone about this.”
“Good. The last thing we need is more confusion around here.” She reached for her phone and exited the room. “Honestly. The next time you need someone as an excuse, pick someone less troublesome. Like… Vice-Principal Luna?”
“Vice-Principal Luna?” Rainbow questioned her choice. “Why would I pick Vice…” She turned around towards the living room and immediately noted the night-haired lady standing inside wearing a deep scowl on her face. “Oooh…”
“H… hey guys.” Sunset waved at them awkwardly, appearing from the main entrance. “You remember Vice-Principal Luna, right?”
(Applejack’s farmhouse) (Attic)
Hmm… would a snow reindeer count?
Nah… too bulky.
A snow angel costume maybe?
No, too obvious.
“Applejack, are you done yet? Granny made some extra pancakes for snacks.” Apple Bloom stated, poking her head from the attic entrance.
“Not quite, Sugar Cube. I’m a little busy at the moment.” Busy picking out costumes from last year’s parties. “I’m looking for the right thing to wear for our family photo next week. I thought about using our old costumes, but all I got for this season are reindeers and snow angels. Which do you think is better?”
The little apple took a quick glance and immediately noted the wears and tears on each of them. They looked like they may as well tear off the moment someone put them on. “Honestly, I think neither.”
Yeah she figured as much. None of these were really used other than school events – and they haven’t seen the light of day till just a few hours ago. Especially the unicorn mascot outfit. The school wanted to create a mascot but it ended up getting shelved. Granny kept it here for safekeeping.
“Aww shucks. Now where am I gonna get a festive costume before the end of the year?”
“Can’t you just get Rarity to make you one?”
She thought about that. But then she didn’t want to burden her with another favor. “I don’t think she can whip up anything that fast. Besides, she’s got a lot of stuff on her plate. Maybe I can ask Uncle Cobbler to lend me his old scarecrow outfit.”
Apple Bloom cringed. “Uh… I don’t think scarecrows would match the winter season.”
“Yeah… I figured as much.” Not that she had much of an idea in the first place. “Maybe I should just raid the discount store. I need something that matches with the snow. You think green goes with blue?”
“Oooooh~~ planning to ask Flash Sentry to our family photo?” Apple Bloom turned to tease, a cheesy grin widening from her mouth. “Aren’t you the brave one~.”
Naturally, and unsurprisingly, Applejack’s cheeks went pink. “S… so? What about it? Granny did say we should all bring at least one new friend into the picture.”
“Oh please, big sis. You’re not fooling any huckster with that attitude.” Apple Bloom got up and joined her by the row of crates stacked up in the middle of the room. “I mean look at ya. I just said his name one time and you turn redder than the family orchard on harvest day. Face it sis. You’re smitten as a kitten. The whole family saw it during the family reunion.”
“Ugh… don’t remind me.” Applejack traced a hand down her face recalling that moment. “But I can’t help it. I mean… before that night, Flash and I barely got a few words out to one another. But since the reunion, I can’t get my head off him.”
“Care to explain it? I’ve always wondered if it feels like how they say it does. Scootaloo says it’s like having butterflies in your stomach… or your knees go weak all of a sudden.”
“Heh. And why’re you all so curious?” Applejack used a reverse card. “Got your eye on someone too?”
It was her turn to blush and stutter. “N… no. Just wondering that’s all. Come on. Give your little sis a heads up so I’ll know what to expect.”
“Well… sorry to burst your bubble. But I ain’t exactly an expert on the subject either. This is my first ever crush after all.”
“Well I hope you do.” The little apple added much to her surprise. “It’d be nice to see what a real boyfriend looks like up close. I could take notes and see what you did right. And besides… your pick is a lot better than… ugh… what Big Mac got.”
The two sisters shuddered dreadfully down to the bone as they recalled that one particular day. It was something they would never forget. Ever.
“I still can’t believe Ms. Cheerilee actually agreed to the whole thing.” Applejack said in disbelief. Her brother brought her old teacher in and introduced her to the whole family like it was the most natural thing to do. And the way they looked at each other, held hands, and put on their own private jokes made them look like the dumbest loving couple in all of Canterlot. It would seem that all the rumors generated in school had proven true for once.
Apple Bloom couldn’t help but barf at the thought. “I know. I mean a student and teacher? I thought something like that only happens in movies. You remember what granny’s expression was like?”
How could she possibly forget? The moment Big Mac introduced Cheerilee to the family as his girlfriend, Granny Smith had her jaw drop so low that her dentures skipped town on the next bus. The poor old lady looked like she had a heart attack. And who could blame her? I mean… this was the lady who’s been teaching them since the 4th grade. Ms. Cheerilee was practically a friend/co-worker. To suddenly have her turned into a… semi-relative was something no one expected. Granny said that she’ll have a sit-down talk with the two of them at some point but decided to just leave them to it for now. It was the holiday season after all.
“I don’t think I’ve seen her that shocked since Grand Pear made a surprise visit two years ago.” AJ chuckled. “At least I don’t have to deal with it.”
“Easy for you to say. You’re graduating next year. She’s gonna be my math teacher next semester! Do you have any idea how embarrassing that’s gonna be? Having your own brother date a teacher that’s teaching you.” No and honestly I don’t want to know. That was just throwing your head into a heap of trouble.
“They did look happy though.” Apple Bloom added much to her annoyance. Despite the age gap, their jobs, and those horrible-horrible nicknames they give to one another, the two of them did really look happy together. Perhaps ridiculously so.
“Sure do. Though I get a right feeling Big Mac’s setting himself up for a heaps of trouble later on.” Applejack paused on that.
“Well, like they say in one of them movies: No two love are ever alike. Some are sour, some are sweet, and some are just plain nasty.”
“Hoo boy. This whole love business is a lot more complicated than I thought. Guess you won’t be finding any tips or tricks about it around here.”
“Apple Bloom! What’s the hold up? Pancake’s getting cold down here.” Granny’s voice echoed from below.
“Coming granny.” The little apple shouted back. “You joining us, sis?”
Before AJ could answer, her phone buzzed with a text from Sunset. She scanned the contents before replying. “Maybe next time, Sugar Cube. Looks like I got an emergency meeting with the girls.”
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Well Timber is finally here. I wonder how long until Twi finally ends things with him?
Also, I wonder what’s going to happen with Luna and the rest of the girls now?
Great job, Rainbow Dash! You gave Rarity another migraine to deal with.
With all of the girls falling for the same guy, I'm beginning to wonder if so much exposure to pony magic might be triggering a herding instinct?
Knowing RD's parents. They would literally go into Flash's home, and demand to see him just to beat him into a pulp. And seeing how rich Flash is, they'll think Flash is a playboy who just dates girls just to take their virginity and leave them afterward. But... RD's parents already met Flash, and they liked him... This Drama is going from comedic into serious relationships.
Funny how Tv tropes is mentioned in this chapter when the story does not have a trope page.
Yep...
Must be hard to deal with it. 😓
God damn it rainbow.
Wow, guess flash really wanted to make it up for her after being stuck on the other side of the world for 3 days.
Better not to or timber will not be happy. Again....
This sure is a lot to pull through.
That seems too long imo... 😰
Uh oh!
Hopefully they'll break up sooner than later like what happened with big mac's counterpart.
He is.
And she is not gonna like it 1 bit.
It's interesting how this story does not have a TVTropes page. I'd make one, but I would need some help. If someone else made one, I could contribute to it.