This story is short, but has a good chime.
Not strange at all, since it's written in rhyme.
The story's main pony is Rainbow Dash
She challenges Zecora but was she too rash?
She also meets Twilight, her lavender friend.
I can say no more, or you'll know the end.
The story is meta, and I am to blame.
Dash dared me into it, this intriguing game.
...
I got inspirationianditheimagicitouch, from tytyvm!
Thumb up if you like, thumb down if you don’t.
Please show what you think, I’ll be sad if you won’t.
Now I am off, got a new place to find.
Feel free to read, leave some comments behind.
Chapters (1)
The story lacks picture, it's the first thing you see. If you do find a decent, present it to me!
Oh, you think this is hot shit, huh? Well, let me lay somethin' fresh on ya...
Ferlathin, check it out, it's Dan the Test Subject
Sad to say, dawg, I'll be your new critic
So listen up, here it is, the awesome review I sugest
Whoever spits the best rhyme outta you and me will be the best
Rapper in the world and the King of Books
I know your story's interesting but come on, take a look
This is serious, you gotta do it, you're reading this, you have to
Or you can decline and delete your book. It's up to you.
WELL
You've got a nice concept, and I'll give you that
But sometimes some errors make it suck like dat
But homie, listen while I spit this as you're workin' both those bitches
This story's far too great for me to hate it 'cause of rhis
So I'll hand over a like and a favorite but not a watch or a kiss.
This story's just not gold, but it's better than silver
The only thing I have to say is you've gotta get.. uh... something that rhymes with "silver".
-Dan The Man
I'm gonna read this, only because of that awesome description. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rainbow_Dash_lolface.png
This is the second time I've used this today, but...
chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-lol.png
Great story!
1091456 you are quite a "line" worker.
Oh it's so on, mr Dan The Man.
To keep this rhyme up, I'm quite sure I can.
The story was written, in a day or two.
Though I'm not sayin', I'm better than you.
This may seem random, but here's the thing!
Constructive criticism, is what you bring.
I thank you for this, the challenge of yours.
I hope that I can, keep up on the scores.
It is quite enough, this answer of mine.
So I'll stop right now, I hope that it's fine.
Glad you like it, 1091486 . I hope to see more of your kind!
The rhythm and rhyme, it's just so funny. It makes me want to cuddle a bunny.
Oh dear, it seems I've been infected! Maybe this problem can be dissected...
Happy to hear it, mr 1091819 . This was but a one-shot, so it won't be back...
Unless the viewers demand some more. Then maybe I'll do it, and add some gore.
No, what am I saying! That would be bad. It would most certain, make Rainbow Dash sad.
Gore is something, I can not stand. Maybe some romance, just not out of hand.
1091918
Even making rhymes with the name! Oh the depths, the depths of my shame...
But even with no more, I'll be fine and dandy. Even just once, one can enjoy candy.
A rhyming romp with Rainbow and friends?
Sounds like it could be quite the hit!
But I wonder how else the story might end
If their pattern changed up just a bit?
A cross rhyme, perhaps, for chapter two?
Or was this meant to be on its own?
Either way I enjoyed it, and laughed straight through
Your writing prowess, here, you have shown.
Though I was expecting a different gift
From Ms. Dash, for example, an orange.
To get you to slip on your rhyming scheme shift
And....um...
...
....Wait.
Crap.
1091779
That's tight. That's tight.
You're about to witness something absolutely flawless
The best reply I've ever left - I'm being honest!
And oh, F-Y-I...
I've been writing that for five minutes, regardless
But let me lay something fresh on ya, dawg, this is what ya gotta do
You can't keep up this challenge, homie. No, sorry, not you!
All you gotta write is an even better sequel
And when you're finished with that you can set down de quill
Then I'll come up with some more raps, dude, right then
And my awesome verses wil send you straight around the bend.
An interesting read,
it was, indeed.
Though not the first of its kind,
it boggled the mind.
I await more,
but please, no gore.
Good luck on stories that you may begin.
And as always, FLUTTERDASH FTW
1091779
Here to put her skills to the test,
Is Wayward Mind, the very best!
You can't beat this lyrical brew,
Ponies like me, there are few.
My skills turn other ponies green,
Envy follows where I've been seen.
But my only equal in rhyme today,
Is Ferlathin, with his wordy ways.
Truly he is my lyrical match,
He leaves slam-poet battles barely scratched.
But one thing that this story lacks,
Is something to keep it on track.
Structure in this story is... thin,
The tale see-saws like a bad violin.
The concept's great, the characters true,
But next time, use an outline, dude.
Don't get me wrong, I'm no hata'
I'm just givin' ya'll straight data.
Now before I lastly say "adieu"
Here is a mustache, for you
Peace out! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
1093797
Yo!
I'm... just... interrupting your battle, here
While chuggin' down a bunch of beer
But listen, gotta tell ya, homie,
'Cause you're spouting a bunch of baloney.
You've never rapped once in your life, now have you?
You're not gonna win, man, and that's gonna be poo.
All you have to do is study and work on your verse.
And if you make them longer than you'll be anything 'cept for worse.
(I'm really bored.)
1095164
Listen here, old man, while I lay down the Law,
My rappin' skillz leave everypony in awe.
Accuse me of processed meat, shall you?
I'm not the one who uses the word poo
To quote my fav. Rarity, "How uncouth"
You know I only speak the truth
If you scroll up, you'll find out
My rap was longer than yours, no doubt
Maybe you should read the Urban Dictionary
Cause your raps are so last century
(Also bored dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Vinyl_Scratch_lolface.png )
I'm not even gonna try and rhyme my comment. >.< bravo on the one-shot it was very cute and a nice idea too. The rhymes were pretty solid throughout too.
the premise of this was extremely sick
and the speed I hoofed-up the fic was quick
for the characters I give you a tick, for it was a slick trick
to incorporate passion alongside verbal quips
and avoid making them both sound like dicks
but for the thing that really was sublime
is having the prose and the characters revolve around rhyme
and although, fairs fair, it's tricky to time
missing a beat here and there is hardly a crime
Zecora herself would say this was fine!
Flawless Dashstory, need i say more?
not to do.
Ok the mortal kombat refernce was too awesome
2465825
Glad you like it! o/
2465869Im glad to see a good zecora fic that dosent have to deal with zebra sence or big mac shipping
2582697
Yay! Thanks, glad you like it!
C,mon man, ur lines are too long,
but I have to admit, they are pretty strong,
and boggle the mind?
not for my kind,
but say what you will,
i,ll go for the kill.
so go ahead and say ur bit,
for i don't even give a shit
now I may be new,
but I ain't someone to screw
(no offence meant just trash talk :P)
4354353
A new reader here? Well isn't that gold!
I am quite surprised, it's 90 weeks old!
Boggling your mind, was not my intent
especially so, without your consent.
What is that I hear, do you wish to fight?
Then bring up your best, I'll still be allright.
In this game there is, no outcome but one
and that is because, I've already won!
You did read my story, but what was it like?
Did you want less rhyming, or maybe more Spike?
However I hope, it was a good read,
'Cause that would make me, a happy swede!
4354757
I wasn't complaining on your rhyme,
I would rather say they have a nice chime
and how about that,
for that my dear friend I also raise my Swedish hat.
:D