Just an old Pony, tinkering with things.
Shortly before a ceremony honoring Ponyville, Celestia hints to Twilight that there is a hidden nature to the forest of the Everfree. Later both Celestia and Zecora will help her to discover the essence of that nature.
Edited by Present Perfect
Also many thanks to AShadowOfCygnus for his assistance and editing
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I love this and love how you pointed out the rhythm of the rhyming Illya. I don't see a single thing to change, nor to add. I hope you plan to record this.
Thank you!
Hopefully someone with find it a worthy project one day.
I love the concept, and there is a real musicality to many points of the prose. But this would benefit a lot from some proper editing — lots of punctuation issues, inconsistent capitalization, and Zecora's speech needs some tightening up, to name a few.
9638134
Thank you Soge!
That was pretty darned good.
To write as Zecora is really no use,
when it comes to my rhyming I'm really obtuse.
The one who could do it was a fellow named Seuss,
as for myself I'm gonna go find a moose.
love the story, followed Georg here up voted and archived.
I like it. A nice example of how a story doesn't need conflict to be interesting.
As Soge said, it could do with some editing. Would you allow me to help?
9643605
I think I am going to start with some editing advice given me by ShadowOfCygnus, redo the whole thing a bit and then see how it reads. At that point perhaps I will also look elsewhere for more advice. I appreciate the offer and I just might ask later if you are still willing.
This is the first story I have ever written so I was expecting LOTS of correctives. Great way to learn I say.
9643874
That's fair. I'm better as a proofreader than an artistic editor anyway, so I'd be happy to give it some final polish.
9643605
Okay, I have edited it as best I can according to advice from Cygnus. So have a look and see if it needs any additional tacking.
9638134
Thanks again Soge. I hope that I have addressed some of that now.
9649349
I've sent you a PM with some suggestions. Like I said, they're mostly at the proofreading end.
9649799
Thanks! I will look them over tonight.
How true. As Lao Tzu put it, "Tao can be talked about, but not the the Eternal Tao. Names can be named, but no the Eternal Name."
Lately I've been reading about this sort of abstract philosophy. It's always nice to see such things put into stories, especially since this is often the best way to talk about them.
This is the best reason to write a fanfic. :D
Wow Illya, that is an amazing effort right out of the gate.
I am in awe of you.