• Member Since 18th Jul, 2012
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CommanderX5


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Long ago, a terrible monster known as Ninetails unleashed a reign of destruction upon a distant land before being defeated by holy priests. While helping the land recover and purifying monsters, a fox they had in their care spawned a second tail. Despite knowing the risks, the priests believed she could be a force for good and began to train her in the ways of healing and purification. 

However, not long after gaining her third tail, word of her existence began to spread, causing her caretakers to fear for her life. They decided to send her to a distant land, a land of peace, harmony, and friendship. There, Princess Celestia found her and, interested in her ability to purify monsters, took the three-tailed fox in with the hopes she could save her fallen sister.

"Will she find acceptance and happiness among ponies? Will she save Luna? One thing is certain, her race's heritage and instincts won’t make it easy."

Special thanks to Rated+Ponystar for CO writing and editing assistance.
And Special thanks to Sweetolebob18 for very quick proofreading assistance.
And also, thanks to Kitsune Tales for cover art for the story.

This story starts 50 years before Nightmare Moon Return. Humans make appearance only in prologue and they do not play any significant role later in the story. This is not pokemon in Equestria, main character is a Kitsune. Warning, bleeding, religious themes and fluff is to be expected.

Chapters (14)
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Comments ( 135 )

This is the coolest story ever finally the princess has found some other thing to rival her powers. Keep going make more, please.

Kitsune in Equestria and wholesome religious themes? I like it already. A little grammar cleanup and this will be a masterpiece.

Foxy go FLOOF. Love da FLOOF. Must protect da FLOOF. :rainbowkiss:

Lots of intriguing revelations here. The idea of an agnostic magical species coming to terms with a real, omnipotent Deity is a fun inversion of the standard science-meets-magic trope, perfectly encapsulated in the reactions of Doctor Aid and Celestia.

I'm definitely loving this story so far, and I look forward eagerly to what you have in store for our beloved FLOOF. Pax Domine sit semper tecum.

Warning, bleeding, religious themes and fluff is to be expected

When you say fluff, do you mean that there's going to be extraneous and non-essential stuff within the story... or that the MC is just really fluffy?

This is the coolest story ever finally the princess has found some other thing to rival her powers. Keep going make more, please.

Will do.
Also, when you say rival her in powers, you refer God, or rather Kyuubi once she grow up?

10200701

A little grammar cleanup and this will be a masterpiece.

If you find any grammar mistakes, fell free to point them out and I will fix them. I am also open for proofreading assistance, so if you would like to join the crew as proofreader or editor, the spot is always open.

10200743

Foxy go FLOOF. Love da FLOOF. Must protect da FLOOF

Lol, now thats an enthusiastic comment. For now the fluff is still small, but it will grow in time.

10200788

The idea of an agnostic magical species

Agnostic... first time I read this word, what does this even mean?

Pax Domine sit semper tecum.

And with you. I hope we wont disappoint your expectations.

10201485

When you say fluff, do you mean that there's going to be extraneous and non-essential stuff within the story... or that the MC is just really fluffy?

Literal as it can be. Main character will grow and so will her fluffy fur, so I can say with clear consciousness that her fluff will play a substantional and adorable role in this story. I mean, ponies have fur too, but it will be no match for a grown Kitsune.

YOU have at least two instances of "coming a sin" I suggest you stop trusting your Spell Checker, and go over your story for content.
I'm only going to highlight the Errors That stick out to me. with content to make them easier to find.

their golden armor decorating their bodies while each carried a in their hooves.

Missing a word.

10200743

its official
little miss fluffy and adorable is now Floof

10201704
Fixed, thanks for pointing it out. Also, no idea why it cut away the word spear from there. How did I miss it.

10201722
While the word Fluff works since she will have rich fur, I am not sure if Floof fits the situation. I wonder what kind of context word Floof can be used in this case.

10201741
images.gameinfo.io/pokemon/256/038-00.png img.rankedboost.com/wp-content/plugins/pokemon-sword-shield/assets/pokemon-images-regular/Alolan%20Ninetales.png
wile Kyuubi is not a Pokemon I feel these images prove the floofyness of the tails and the chest floof of kitsune
and as she is currently small and therefore adorable
an equally adorable nickname is needed
hence Floof

10201741
“Floof” is just a cutesy way of saying “fluff”. Also, if this isn’t a Pokémon crossover, then you shouldn’t have used Pokémon fanart as the cover.

10201941

“Floof” is just a cutesy way of saying “fluff”. Also, if this isn’t a Pokémon crossover, then you shouldn’t have used Pokémon fanart as the cover.

This is not a Pokémon fanart, you can even read authors notes and he himself says that it is not a Pokémon. I just needed a white Kitsune and this art looked the most suitable.

Really nice start!

A few small errors, but two really stood out to me:

Hearing some sort of loud whimper, as if someone was skinning a cat or a wolf alive, the two pegasi guards flew towards the source of noise, their golden armor decorating their bodies while each carried a in their hooves.

You don’t say what the guards are holding. We know it’s a spear from a few paragraphs down, but you accidentally a word there. Second, a whimper is, by definition, a low sound. It won’t be loud, and considering how you describe the whimper, I doubt that’s what an animal would make of it were being skinned alive. A yelp or a shriek or a howl would make more sense for that level of pain. It’s just that I don’t think the descriptors match up.

Other than that I really enjoyed the start!

10200743

WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY!?!??!?!

FLOOF FLOOF FLOOF

Is this gonna be at all like the pokémon? I just ask that out of curiosity. Haven’t started this yet

10202142
The first mistake I fixed a while ago, but thank you for the alternative to whimper, I appreate it.

10202240
I understand your enthusiasm, but tone down the spam a bit.

10202489
In story description =

This story starts 50 years before Nightmare Moon Return. Humans make appearance only in prologue and they do not play any significant role later in the story. This is not pokemon in Equestria, main character is a Kitsune. Warning, bleeding, religious themes and fluff is to be expected.

So yeah, it is not a pokemon in Equestira story, main character is a Kitsune.

I know the human characters won't be important anymore, but I like the name for the knight - Willard - at some point it changed to William, but Willard sounds awesome - the name, not sure about the character yet. Kyuubi lost her books, NOOOOOOOOOOO!

10202593

I know the human characters won't be important anymore, but I like the name for the knight - Willard - at some point it changed to William, but Willard sounds awesome - the name,

Originally his name was William, but I decided to change it to Willard before uploading. Seems I failed to change it in all spots. Anyway, fixed now.

10202593

Kyuubi lost her books, NOOOOOOOOOOO!

There is this moment where friends and caretakers give the hero bag with resources for the long jorney... It didnt work out in this case, though. She was lucky to be found by the guards aso quickly, or else she would be in trouble without any supplies. Hopefully Celestia will have more than enough books to cover for that.

Ah cliche humans. They easily let fear blind their judgement while believing killing an innocent child is justified. Thats the irony in it all.
Plus I do hope that Ninetailed fox started that war because of vengeance. Because if it was just a lust for power, then its just another cheap lazily written villain.

Celestia looked at the innocent creature as she started to understand her fears. A member of her species grew powerful enough to start a war on a big scale and was nearly unstoppable, and many who suffered wanted nothing more than to make sure it won’t happen again. But was it just? Was it alright to take action against an innocent and kind youth just because it had the potential to become an unstoppable force once grown up?

No, it was not alright to take action against an innocent creature just because they were to afraid to try something else. By doing that, they are only restarting the cycle again.

Much like how Empress Sela (Star Trek Online) seals the fate of her home world, Romulus, by killing an Iconian. She wanted revenge for what happened to her home, and yet doomed it to be destroyed. Thats how this Christian Knight is doing. By getting rid of the fox, another entity will just take over for her.

The Princess of the Sun nuzzled the fox before asking in a cheerful tone, “Little Kyuubi, would you be interested in becoming my personal student?”

Oof, tough luck Twilight. Then again, neither she or Sunset are gonna be around for another 30 yrs. so nvm.

10202514
I got that it wasn’t gonna be exact if it was related, but I was just curious about potential fire powers. Guess I’ll find out soon enough

I wonder what’s the compared levels between Celestia connection with the sun to Kyuubi connection to her deity?

10202514
huh.. odd... I never got a notification to that reply...

ps: I edited the comment

I really like this story so far!

10201626
An agnostic is someone who doesn’t believe in a god, but also doesn’t not believe. They think Proof of god may be unknowable, and are sort of on the fence about the whole thing.

Not an atheist, but not a believer either. Someone who would go to church “just in case”.

Ponies have seen beings claiming to god-like power that in the end weren’t. Floof says her power was given by God, and seems to be limitless in capacity for growth. Is it proof of a god? They aren’t sure.

10202762

Oof, tough luck Twilight. Then again, neither she or Sunset are gonna be around for another 30 yrs. so nvm.

They still have their chance so dont worry. Though it is hard to tell how having student already will affect their chances in Celestias eyes.

10203367

I wonder what’s the compared levels between Celestia connection with the sun to Kyuubi connection to her deity?

Celestias connection have big advantage in terms of raw power, but this connection is stale and dont change. Kyuubis connection may change and develop as she grows, so who knows what the future holds.

10203431

huh.. odd... I never got a notification to that reply...

ps: I edited the comment

Thank you.

10203518
Ah I see, now I understand.

Also, you called Kyuubi Floof. I feel it is becoming her official nickname given to her by fans.

Tbh it's rare to find a story such as this. even in my library, I can barely find anything like this. Most of them are about humans and such and I'm getting bored with human stuff. I like stories that have powerful characters but with a twist or fatal flaw such as being young and inexperienced to nieve.

Also, I'd never thought I'd find another Kitsune let alone a good Kitsune story. I found a story a while ago called Cold Fire about a Kitsune (Well really it was a nine tales pokemon but it's similar) and it was pretty good. Since then I tried looking for any other good Kitsune stories but there were not a lot of them. They all fell into on of these.

  • Canceled or hasn't updated for so long it's practically canceled
  • Barely even over 20,000 words
  • Not a good story
  • So much grammar it hurt to read

Add those on top of being little to no stories I could find with Kitsune in them. There was one story that was pretty good but it fell into the,"Canceled or hasn't updated for so long it's practically canceled" and "Barely even close 20,000 words" categories.

So Yay!!! A great story!!! I plan to add this to one of my Sacred Favorite folder but it's still too early to tell. But for now, it's in my Favorites folder.

Ps: Do you any idea or timeframe the next chapter will come out?

10203597

Ps: Do you any idea or timeframe the next chapter will come out?

Well, the story is finished and edited already. I uploaded the prologue and first two chapters to see how well it will do and overal reaction to it, and I plan to upload one chapter per week. What I wrote basically covers all events leading to Nightmare Moons Return.
On a side note, I am still looking for proofreading assistance. While most of grammar issues were dealth with, there is always a room for improvement, and more feedback is always welcome. If anyone who enjoy this story would be willing to join the crew, I wont say no.

As for me, I need to finish my other stories, so depending how well this story will do, I may write a sequel in the future. For now everyone seems to like the premise, but the number of viewers is still low, so I can only hope that next chapters wont disapoint.

Philomena and Kyuubi could only laugh their tails off upon hearing the pains and shrieks of Private Kickfield as the sound of female vengeance could be heard for miles.

The quote, "your dead to me," hath never been so true

Now this is funny as hell nice one dude awesome. Keep going with the story.

Oh poor Kickfield. No possibility of foals in his future. May the unborn souls rest in peace. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Nothing like a good old-fashioned prank to bond after an injurious misunderstanding.

10206086

Now this is funny as hell nice one dude awesome. Keep going with the story.

Credits goes to Rated ponystar, he was the one who added the pranking scene.

10206216

Nothing like a good old-fashioned prank to bond after an injurious misunderstanding.

True, though I doubt the victim wouldnt share your opinion.

Ouch. This chapter has been a kick in the teeth for Kyuubi. I wonder if they can find a way for her to recharge without hurting anyone. It would likely help changelings too.

SPOILER FOR STUFF THAT DOESN'T FIT IN STORY RATING. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
If it wasn't for the rating on this story I would almost recommend researching tantric empowerment rituals from the Fate series. Those just tend to involve exchange of certain bodily fluids.

10214752

I wonder if they can find a way for her to recharge without hurting anyone. It would likely help changelings too.

Recharging is not a problem since her magic recovers overtime, similar to how ponies recharge their magic. The issue is that if she uses too much magic, her body will feel threatened and will demand her to hunt. It is a survival instinct and it can make living among ponies a bit difficult.

I suppose it is her best interest not to overtrain herself, but this kind of slows down her progress. It takes hard work to become a powerful mage, and unlike mages in many other stories, she literally cant train hard without risk of being overtaken by her instincts.

Also, thanks for the comment. When I uploaded this chapter, I was hoping for some feedback since I implemented a few important plots in this story, yet the comment section seems to be a bit dead.

Easy answer: just feed her Poison Joke.

10214793
True enough, but I still think that finding a way to quickly recharge would at least help mitigate the instinct, especially if they can figure out a way to redirect or fool her instinctive hunger to other kinds of wants.

Then again this is your story and you tend to have good ideas so I'll wait and see where this will go.

10214796
I don’t know if that would make the issue easier to deal with, or just be insane.
I LOVE IT!

10214796
That would probably backfire spectacularly.

Awesome dude this is very nice please make more chapters.

Wonder how she would react to highly magical foods? Can see her raiding a certain apple farm.

10214796

Easy answer: just feed her Poison Joke.

Not sure if this would solve the issue. What if this will things even worse.


10214804
Thanks, i will try not to fail.

10216825
thats a nice idea. if i remember correctly, only one magical food was introduced in the show.

Surprised she hasn't met a griffon yet, or some other ambassador of a predator race.

Well, that could have gone worse. This will definitely be an interesting arc.

I'm curious to see how Kyuubi interacts with Sunset roughly half a dozen years or so from now. I don't imagine Celestia will just ignore a unicorn of her level of power when she has a surge, regardless of if she already has a personal student or not when she meets Sunny.

This is so awesome please make more chapters.

10225203

Surprised she hasn't met a griffon yet, or some other ambassador of a predator race.

Considering that griffon kingdom is in ruin as they don't even have king in the show, I doubt there are any ambasadors in Equestria. I usually go with griffons and dragons having an ambasador in Equestria in my other stories, but after the show gave us more info about griffons and dragons, I don't think it fits for them to do that.

On a side note, meeting a griffon didn't cross my mind, though to be fair, Kyuubi pointed out that it is not meat the her body wants, but magical creatures, She is kind of above average predator and certainly have greater potential to be dangerous.

10225380

Well, that could have gone worse. This will definitely be an interesting arc.

Thank you. Though I wish this story had more viewers, but maybe it will change sooner or later.

10226357

I'm curious to see how Kyuubi interacts with Sunset roughly half a dozen years or so from now. I don't imagine Celestia will just ignore a unicorn of her level of power when she has a surge, regardless of if she already has a personal student or not when she meets Sunny.

Don't you worry, I certainly won't forget to introduce Sunset into this story. The closer to the show's timeline, the more characters will make their apperance, though some outcomes will be wastly different.

10228075

This is so awesome please make more chapters.

Another chapter is comming in half an hour.

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