When Zephyr visited his sister during heat season, things get heated very quickly. She almost breaks his nose.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Okay, I legit laughed out loud at this.
Contest judge leaving a quick thought.
Overall the writing was pretty decent. I generally liked the dialogue between the two. The sex was reasonably well written.
But I gotta be honest: what's up with the pacing? Eight paragraphs in and fucking is about to start. I was actually getting into the dialogue a lot between Zeph and Shy but there was absolutely no build up. They talk about their incest like it's the local weather. The passion was a bit lacking between I think.
But you should write more bitchy Shy. She's fun when she's a sex starved banshee.
Not sure if it's a clopfic, or a drag race.
9608067
Flutterbitch for the win!
So painfully mediocre. Writing is good, topic is meh. \(◎o◎)/
I do not know