On a quiet morning in Ponyville, a stranger wanders into town, looking for help getting to Manehattan. Everypony who is out and about that morning is happy to help, and show exactly why Ponyville is the friendliest town in Equestria. But there's something strange about the visitor passing through town...
In my attempt to get back into writing regularly, I had this silly little oneshot idea in my head. Ordinarily, I don't really like the cliche of Human in Equestria stories, but this idea just made me giggle so much that I had to get it down. Constructive criticism very welcome!
Chapters (1)
It was a fairly sunny day in Ponyville, with the odd smattering of cloud (Clouds) in the otherwise pristine blue sky. The forecast for the day called for a slightly cloudy day, and Rainbow Dash had just finished arranging the cloud (I think you can ommit this word) cover. She was spending the rest of her day relaxing on a particular large and fluffy cloud (try putting one instead so that it gets less repetitive), as she was prone to doing on a lazy day inbetween practicing for impressing the Wonderbolts.
In one lavender unicorn's case, she was still asleep, which left the morning activities up to her Number One assistant, Spike. As such, Spike (Put He here instead of Spike) was busy cleaning the library floor of dust before making breakfast for himself and Twilight Sparkle. As he busied himself with brushing underneath some stairs, the door opened.
And that's about all I can find. Great nontheless. Got a fave and a thumbs up from me.
1052320 Thanks very much! As I said, I am a bit rusty, so little things like that may slip through. Glad you liked it otherwise!
I said your story is very funny. Seriously, coaldust! Check my profile under my custom box, my fave fan fic. You will see.
1056961 I saw! Thank you very much!
1057226 you're welcome. And I'm making a fan fic.
>>coaldust you're welcome. And I'm making a fan fic.
1052320 Well I've made the tweaks and resubmitted. I changed a few bits around in the opening paragraph to try and avoid the cloud repetition you mentioned. Thanks for the pointers!
I can't believe I haven't read a story like this before! Jolly good show, old bean.
3813122 Why thank you, kind sir!
Needs some editing with a capital letter removal. The first sentence describes a sky spattered with Final Fantasy 7 characters.
8206232 You never know, maybe the sky WAS filled with spiky haired RPG protagonists!
>.>
Yeah, nice find. Edited.