• Member Since 20th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

TheBronyKnight


I write about the things that people may find unimportant, but to me they are the right questions that need attempted answers. paypal.me/funkMonster

Comments ( 7 )

This story felt like someone venting in story form. It had no enjoyment in it nor any interesting draw. It didn't even have a proper ending as it ended on a unanswered question.

Being cheated on is bad, and when it's written in a story, it is best if some kind of resolution is made. Ether through acceptance and forgiveness, or with moving on with their lives. This story has none of that. It just feels... bitter, and angry.

this story could (or needs) an epilogue.

9417915
And that was exactly as I was going for to. Though this story was inspired by another story I read which was a NTR and psychological doujinshi. But that story was a lot more painful in the end.

The ending was more of an open end one. Going for the viewer's own experiences of why or what could have been if the cheating never started. So this is more of a revenge story for the intense feelings of pain and hurt but the ending is the remorse we feel after a while.

Well better to attempt and fail. If people don't like it's fine, I don't write for commissions (only if someone offers). So I'm just making stories I have in my head; better out then in I say.

9419346
In fact I wish to thank you. At least I know now my writing can get deciphered and understood (though I wish for more layering and complexity since I wish to write a story for my games)

9418056
I thought of doing that, but I figured Why not leave it as is for now. Mostly because I wish for those who suffered this pain to ask themselves this question for closure. Attempt at a "Stanley Kubrick" ending type but it solely prays on the public's opinion and imagination.

So I could write an epilogue, but it would take away from the people who wants their own answers from the ending. It would destroy the intention of the fic is what I'm saying.

9419354
I see, the story is shocking, but leaves so much to the viewer that it is almost necessary to close some things, what will happen to their children? will they try to fix it? Everything went to hell later?

answer one of the questions and leave the others to the viewer, something like "I give you the tree, and you decorate it as you like

9419904
No better example then Stanley Kubrick films or Evangelion's ending (though it has a movie that answers some of those plot points but again I haven't decided on a epilogue yet).

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