Seth Conway joins the military after a call for volunteers to train with their pony allies. Seeking direction, this could just give him what he seeks. Meeting a gorgeous, reticent mare named Schneeblume is the best part of his new adventure.
Hello, I so enjoy your story telling through your writing, and the heads up when there maybe some naughty parts ahead.
Your story inspired me, and I built a group of German styled soldiers for my 40K my army, and that's helmets, stick grenades, and weapons. Looking more like the Sturmgewehr 44. (Dang I hope that's spelled right, don't want to look more of the idiot than I really am).
Oh hell yes, i didn’t read a single *word* and i tracked this. I’ve read the whole chapter and i’m favoriting! Can’t wait to see this masterpiece unfold, oh great thrower of flames!
I have my fair share of criticism of this first chapter, and some praise to go along with it, but let's get the tough bit out first.
I find the term 'portalmail' a bit contrived, like the situation, in that it could have been thought out more. It just doesn't seem as creative as it should be and comes off as forced.
I also don't like how Apple Bloom acts so far, and it kinda got a few not so good eye rolls out of me. I am hoping that changes pace later.
Now, onto some parts I found really nice in this opening. Schnee is adorable, oh my pony Jesus, her little dance at the end made me feel all sorts of good inside. While I think the advances are a bit too forward, given the situation, I do remember times where I had flirts with people I just met, so it's a plausible situation.
I also like the banter Seth and Schnee had, that is another highlight I enjoyed so far.
I am a bit mixed, but I am leaning on the more positive side, mostly due to the second half of this chapter. Though, I'll see how this all pans out; onto the next chapter.
“Alright, we’re looking at three bits-fifty this time. Larger, healthier yields around this time are coming in!” the bright-eyed vendor stallion attempted to explain the slight price increase to one of his new regulars.
tree fiddy within moments of starting the story. I don't know if this is a good or bad sign.
This is gonna be great. I can feel it in my bones
Begin story, no likes.
Click "Like". It's already got 13 in the time it took me to finish the first chapter.
To the box with you, good and sexy story!
It could be better, but it could be a lot worse.
Into the read-this bin with you.
Funny thing my name is Seth
Hello, I so enjoy your story telling through your writing, and the heads up when there maybe some naughty parts ahead.
Your story inspired me, and I built a group of German styled soldiers for my 40K my army, and that's helmets, stick grenades, and weapons. Looking more like the Sturmgewehr 44. (Dang I hope that's spelled right, don't want to look more of the idiot than I really am).
Looking forward to seeing more of your story,.
Can't believe you made an Invader Zim reference here. You madlad.
9354925
Cue the Doom Song?
Oooo More of this character.....but not the same, worth a look.
9354925
Wheres the reference, i couldn't find it
Oh fuck you . You non completing your stories cunt..........................
9354723No it wont.. here is why It won't be fucking completed...
9355539
Your mother not hug you enough as a child or you just enjoy being a salty bitch?
Can’t believe they are letting flowers cross the portals. Ever try bringing plants into Florida or California?
9355806
*Meanwhile on the other side*
Mrs. Conway arrested by US Agricultural Department for having flower that has super pony AIDS
9354723
That's the hope! We'll see if it lives up to the likes of Sculpting Marble (which this is modeled after). Thanks man!
9354804
Thanks bby. Extra mayonez for u at BABS
9354858
That's usually the realistic goal I aim for. I'll take it!
9354919
Thanks man! And hey that sounds pretty cool! Hope it works out well for the game
9355827
I will send you a link, I have made one test figure but not any of the modified equipment they will carry...
9355815
Or parasprite larva. :)
9355821
PLS NO.
"autismo"? You do know being autistic doesn't just mean having poor social skills, right?
Ahaha! It's here!
Read it. Loved it. Insta like and fav. More of the prettiest flower ptsd pone ia always appreciated~♡
9355382
When he says "I HAVE A MIGHTY NEED"
9355168
Yes.
... I don’t normally subscribe to clop romances but if it’s flamm...
I didn't know how much I needed to see Schneeblume be a happy silly filly til just now. This is the best thing.
How much is the spinach?
...
...
'Bout tree fiddy
Oh hell yes, i didn’t read a single *word* and i tracked this. I’ve read the whole chapter and i’m favoriting! Can’t wait to see this masterpiece unfold, oh great thrower of flames!
For some reason I keep putting off The Flower Mare series I feel bad now, and am putting it next on the list!
Schöne Story!
9355805 Did your father fuck you in the ass to much?
9358743
Wow took you a few days to come up with that lame ass come back?
9358830
No not really . This place and the cunts on it are not worth to much attrition. So I just pop in every so.
9358899
Now that's what i call edgy, did nobody love you or are you still 12?
This has a wonderful start and I can't wait to see where it goes.
The history buff in me is squirming at the possibilities of Schnee's background.
Adorable flirty Schnee is adorable.
9358899
Cease the calamity in your mamaries.
9424748
Hakuna your tatas
You once struck up a conversation with a pony, and she essentially went "oh, this Flammen guy is a cutie"? You lucky duck!
I have my fair share of criticism of this first chapter, and some praise to go along with it, but let's get the tough bit out first.
I find the term 'portalmail' a bit contrived, like the situation, in that it could have been thought out more. It just doesn't seem as creative as it should be and comes off as forced.
I also don't like how Apple Bloom acts so far, and it kinda got a few not so good eye rolls out of me. I am hoping that changes pace later.
Now, onto some parts I found really nice in this opening. Schnee is adorable, oh my pony Jesus, her little dance at the end made me feel all sorts of good inside. While I think the advances are a bit too forward, given the situation, I do remember times where I had flirts with people I just met, so it's a plausible situation.
I also like the banter Seth and Schnee had, that is another highlight I enjoyed so far.
I am a bit mixed, but I am leaning on the more positive side, mostly due to the second half of this chapter. Though, I'll see how this all pans out; onto the next chapter.
9650299
Quack!
tree fiddy within moments of starting the story. I don't know if this is a good or bad sign.