- Member Since 8th Feb, 2018
- offline last seen February 16th
riicky83
Sunset Shimmer is my dream girl.
riicky83
Joined 8th Feb, 2018 ·
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So the females are treated with respect and like their situation? This looks interesting.
Kinda wished that they would have been kept in the maid outfits even with everything else being the same as is. Still decent start.
9155410
Well, it's kinda how Drake wants them to be friends more than maids, this way they can feel freer to be themselves.
Maybe at some point, he might ask them to wear the maid's outfits for a few cosplay/maid fetishes, the other reason he wants them in normal clothes is to keep them different to the regular maids so the guards don't get them confused with each other.
9155617
I get the character reasons. I'm just a dirty minded perv.
Very hot.
i like this
also i didnt see until now but if i was an author i would be insulted to have my story put into the group this has been put into by somebody this story is good not god awful
Everyone gets a present.
9158245
Well, when I published the first chapter I did exactly that, It may have been my birthday then but I thought "why not" and gave everyone a present.
Fluttershy's fantasy reminded me of the Tantabus episode where she dreamed she was Angel's pet.
I expected actual swimming.
I'm imagining their parents instead of the mane 6 (and Stellar Flare instead of Rarity) :D
Are you gonna do a fic with the kirins?
9159968
The title is kind of a metaphor, sometimes titles can be hard to think of depending on what you want it to be about.
I wanted it to represent how Drake felt like he was swimming in his own personal sea and the sea was his maids/friends.
9160036
Dunno about the Kirins as they're new to me and I don't know much about them.
Nice.
See, there's actually a lot of potential for some serious conflict here. No matter all the whitewashing, the Dracos invaded another world and took over. The best a pony can look forward to seems to be getting close to the Dracos' status, who are on top of the social order, as servants or concubines. Dracos rule, ponies obey. The fact that they call it an alliance sounds like a rather self-serving narrative.
However, so far, it's all fluffy, happy harem fun with your OC and a herd of submissive girls, much like a majority of your stories appears to be. I'm convinced there won't be a conflict.
On the upside, your OC race at least doesn't read like it's completely overpowered since they don't just solve any problems without any real effort or cost.
9165725
With you pointing that out I guess I forgot to put in the reason for the technical invasion.
The Draco's original world wasn't able to fully sustain itself and such most of its plants and crops were being wiped out, with their resources, especially in terms of food, being desperately limited it meant taking quick decisions.
The current king was also dying due to an illness so he wanted to ensure the survival of his race before his own life passed on, the first chapter mentioned a portal opening to Equestria but I forgot to mention that the portal had barely been explored.
With time being against them the king decided on a quick take over instead of potential peacemaking treaties that might waste too much time.
Since the three Pony races were separate at the time it helped make the invasion easier and with little casualties, the end result of the invasion also helped to bring the three Pony Races together granted they still argued about their differences.
When the King passed on his son didn't want their race to be feared so he passed the law for them to be considered equal instead of masters and slaves, most of the Draco's aren't of the royal family so they live amongst the Ponies.
As for the history part, most Pony at the time didn't really want to learn about the history of how Equestria was tamed by the Draco's.
Even most of the Draco's didn't like their history due to similar feelings and so only the royal family keeps the info so they see where they come from and how they've progressed.
The next part I might address in the next chapter but the ponies don't have to be servants or such if they don't want to be, I'm currently trying to find a way to make it so the girls chose to be his maids and not a forced choice.
Rarity is an obviously easy one and I can think of a few ways for some of the others.
I'm just glad that my race worked out somehow, I like dragons but in the MLP world I've never seen any really use any of their own magic.
This was even before trying to find out about the newly arriving Kirin race, I tried to make them similar to the basic races so on average they're not on Alicorn levels.
The character Wyv is kinda like Unicorn Twilight or Starlight as they have magic considerably strong even for Unicorn standards, and the OC's mother simply has a unique ability kinda like how a Pony gets some unique quirks like Pinkies senses.
I might go back to some of the earlier chapters and rewrite some of the issues.
Their reasons seem in character.
The synopsis makes it sound like there should be a Spike tag?
Satsifying.
9183766
As much as I hate to admit it but what does synopsis mean? and why does Spike come into mind?.
9183808
he's usually the one that does the harem thing also when will the conflict be coming into play you cant just make a multi-chapter story nothing but sex (can you?)
9183808
Seriously? A synopsis is the little summary of the story.
9186121
It's a word I don't really hear so I'm not familiar with it.
9186438
Its okay. I just learned the meaning of the word after reading this chapter. Sadly i barly paid atention in english class. Woops., sorry teach. Lol.