• Member Since 8th Feb, 2018
  • offline last seen February 16th

riicky83


Sunset Shimmer is my dream girl.

Comments ( 24 )

Gee, I’m super certain this will be a spectacularly-written, Pynchonian masterpiece just like the hundreds of other fics that share this exact same title, plot, and grammatical errors.

8737575
>implying this will be another poorly written, unoriginal fic for furries
It's 2018, not 2014, m8.

Oh no. Not again.

8737643 um, ackchually, it's 2019. I'm transyear, bigot. :trollestia:

8737671
Did you just assume the year? Typical chronophobe. Ever since Don Trumpler stole the office, you cheese eating everythingphobes have been getting uppity. Reported.

Step 1 to make this story successful: stop it.
Step 2: get some help.
Step 3: no.

8737678
Oh yeah? Explain displaced. Checkm8, shitficphobe.

8737677 Did you just assume what I assume? Omg. I can't believe this. Drumpf has normalised this. I can't even. Like, seriously? You'd do that? This is... like, omg. CNN needs to report on this. They're center-right, but they're the only ones who don't lie. MSNBC has been hijacked by the Alt-Right. I heard it on Shareblue, and they aren't biased.

You, however. You should just stop.

8737689
Did you just assume that I'm assuming what you assumed? My professor told us about bigots like you. Get rekt Vladimir McRussovich. I know what you subversive omniphobes are up to.
#Resist

These comments are enjoyable.

8737701 ARE YOU RESISTING A MEMBER OF THE RESISTANCE? OMG! I cannot believe you Russian bots would do such a thing. I'm going to start a petition and hashtag against you. Like, really? The nerve of some ppl...............

#Resist #MuellerIsComing #DampsterHamster

Dude, pacing. It exists for a reason. Look it up, and then try writing this story.

8737714
Like I don't see you're an infiltrator. Nice try, Ivan Ivanovich, but I see your game for what it is. I have witnesses here who saw you trying to impede my journey into valhalla.
#metoo

8737575
You make me smile. :)

Now that I've had my share of comment-section giggles, I'll offer a little serious advice. This kind of fic has been done before to the point of cliche. There's practically a checklist. I recommend trying something different. Continue this one in private for the sake of practice and when you've accrued some experience (or at least a more original idea), then publish again.

This reminds me of the first fic I posted, also a HiE, way back in 2014.

It was fucking god awful.

Of course, the later chapters are an improvement, but I can barely read the earlier ones without feeling a strong urge to tear my eyes out and run them through a blender. That said, if you simply must have a 'Human finds himself in Equestria' story, then I'd have to agree with 8737956. Because the concept has been done to death, it's extremely difficult to write a good HiE. Basically, you're throwing yourself in at the deep end. Read other fics—good ones, and a lot of them—and you'll get the experience. Maybe try a few easier ideas first? Also, learn how to identify a run on sentence. Your story is full of them, and they certainly aren't doing it any favours.

Lo and behold you actually improve as a writer, adding pretty decent chapters to your story, only for no one to give two fucks because the first few chapters suck ass.

Okay... maybe I'm projecting a little here, but that's besides the point.

Get good. And remember to edit your shit as you improve.

8737575
It amuses me greatly that your comment has more upvotes than the fic.

8738627
The first story I ever wrote, while it had nothing to do with ponies, was practically a cliche checklist. I refused to publish anything until I had a good grasp of the basics, and I'm really glad I did.

I'm confused, what the hell is going on!!! Its looks like it was rushed. And why the fuck is applejack wanting to suck his shaft, he's a alien...she should be freaking out and bucking him in the face!

8741924
To be honest I was going to have an explanation in the next story saying the girls were in their breeding cycles and were horny enough to simply not care who they screw hence why Applejack sucked him off as she was very horny and being similar in body type she wouldn't have a problem doing it right there.

I'll be honest though while I do want to carry this story on the comments aren't really helping.
Yeah I get it everyone's done this type of story but when the others say check other fics similar for a good example of what to do the problem is they don't say which stories could help or provide links.

I was going to eventually have my character change into a pony due to the magic in Equestria plus his interactions with the girls.
If someone has done this then at least link me to a decent story like this to check it, please.

8748724
For pity's sake, if nobody will help the poor dear...

So, is it decent stories you're lookin' for? Or more displaced stories, specifically?

9248314
To be honest I've given up on this story due to the comment history it has.

9248811
Honestly for the best. This one just had so many of the worst cliches packed into it...really, you should reach for something higher than self-insert.

9581944
Sorry but this one has been cancelled.

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