- Member Since 8th Feb, 2018
- offline last seen February 16th
riicky83
Sunset Shimmer is my dream girl.
riicky83
Joined 8th Feb, 2018 ·
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I highly recommend clicking on a paragraph and using the 'read' function built into the site for this one.
I haven't laughed so much in quite a while.
Ok, this is actually a really good idea but the way it was executed held it back from being great. Its just way to fast, we speed by everything thats happening and dont have time to enjoy it.
A few ways it could be improved upon is making it longer to have a proper 1st, 2nd, and 3rd act.
1st being the set-up where you set the scene and introduce the characters.
2nd the build-up where the characters interact with each other and why they want to do these things, basically this is where the "plot" of the story gets going.
3rd is the pay-off where well, you know... the "action" happens and the story has a conclusion to the events that happened.
This was a good attempt as it did get my fantasy going but really wish there was a bit more to this.
Better luck next time i guess.