• Member Since 29th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 28th, 2022

blackdragonepic


T

When a unicorn who has lost everything is hurt once again its the last straw for him. but can others help bring him out to show him friendship and reveal he is not doomed to pain and suffering.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 4 )

FIrst!

-K, on to serious stuff. First thing readers see is a the dreaded Wall Of Text. This is a definite no-no. Indent, make paragraphs, break up to text.
- Capitalize, Punctuate, and know when to use comma's. Names are capitalized, as is the beginning of the sentence, or dialogue. There's also a couple of places where comma's would've come in handy.
- Didn't really find any typos, but then again, I wasn't really looking. The only ones that I caught was when Twi was yelling. MY should be ME
Storie, should be story, or stories.
-Proofread, or get someone to PR it for you.

And now on to the story. Liked, faved, and watched. I'll be watching to see how this pans out. :-)

-Lis

listener

Thanks will do

so for all the mistakes but I had all of these ideas bottled up in my head for a while and I couldn't wait to get them out of my head. so i kind of rushed it.

But I am going to see if I am going to see if someone can proof read my storie mabye increase the chapter sizes from 1500 words to 2000 and I think i might insert some extra moments in. this is my first fanfic so lets see how it turns out.

But until and after then ಠ益ಠ I WILL TRY MY BEST

(shouting face is the best face :D )

Beautiful man this story is awsome i hope i can be this good in the future.
so when is the new chapter gonna come out?

Techno Scratch

I am already working on the next chapter and I just have to sit down and type it out. But I am going away on vacation so I might not have another one out for awhile. But I will be taking my laptop with me so I can do some typing out while I'm away.

so in a few weeks you may get a 2-3 chapters coming out at once.

anyways glad to hear from you :pinkiehappy: and stay tuned!

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