It’s Waluigi Time!

by Mysterious-Ham

Chapter 1: Waluigi smashed into the story!

The Universe is big...to the point where life is split between two major moral spectrums...good and evil, both fighting an endless battle with each other in countless ways. From destroying stars of death to racing in go-karts. However, this story involves mostly evil...well, not ‘evil’ but more like morally dark-grey lifeforms battling in a world of harmony.

….

Within the depths of space traveled the mighty Star-Warship known as ‘Nefarious’. This mighty well-armed star frigate had been drifting like a ghost for sometime now, with its robotic humanoid crew on standby mode. The captain and lord of the Nefarious was a small-time villain turned galactic conqueror named Crow, a human-mechanical nutcase.

At that moment, Crow was inside a stasis pod, sleeping away the boring parts of space travel. The villain was of average height but wore a dark purple mech suit with larger right arm full of gadgets to aid in princess kidnapping. Crow had configured the ship's AI, which was a mental copy of his secretary and second in command Becky...named “Beck-E”, which sent probes out into the galaxy to scan for any life forms that needed a good conquering.

Suddenly, the stasis pod shot Crow out of his stasis pod and onto the floor. The villain found his bearings, rose to his feet, and began to shout wildly.

“For the love of evil, what numskull makes a ejecting stasis-pod?!” Crow rubbed his head plate.

“Seeing as you designed and built everything on this ship, I’d say you are that numskull.” Appearing in front of him was Beck-E in the form of a hologram, who looked like the living Becky, a dark-tanned women with long silver hair, wearing a business suit.

“Don’t make me hit the mute button. So, why did I get a rude awakening?”

“Probe 007 has found a planet with life forms that are deemed ‘easily conquerable’, and as per your rules, I am to reactivate all systems and travel to this planet.”

“Excellent… make sure the minions have the proper weapons, and my giant mechs are polished.” Crow and Beck-E walked from his chambers to the control room to gaze upon his big screen monitor images of the planet. Crow smiled as he noticed that the residents of this world were ponies, cute and easy to crush. The Nefarious arrived in orbit above the planet between the moon and Equestria.

‘Now, you would think a villain with all this technology would just go in and conquer the world, right?...In this case, no. Crow was the ‘build up to the climax' kind of villain.

Crow and a few minions got into a space dropship and descended to Equestria to enact his villainous plan.

….

It was a lovely night as within the Canterlot Castle was the yearly Galloping Gala, and this year everypony was there. Discord and Fluttershy talking to Cadence and her baby Flurry Heart while Rarity, Pinkie, and Applejack were dancing to the music of the party band. Twilight and Starlight were chatting with the Changeling King Thorax and the Royal Sisters as the night crept along, hiding Crow’s dropship from sight.

“My first time at the Galloping Gala and it's been great so far, I don't know what you were so worried about Twilight.” Starlight spoke as the other nodded.

“Well about now something would go wrong, but everything is perfect.” just then a bright purple light shined from out of nowhere, confusing the ponies.

“Attention ponies! This is your future master Lord Crow speaking!” The ponies and guest turned to see a strange ship float above the patio of the gala hall and from it a figure dropped to the ground.

“What? Who are you?!” Twilight moved a few steps to this stranger as her friends moved to give her support.

“I said...you know what this is boring let's just get this party started, Beck-E begin the ‘Princess Scan’.” Suddenly a small drone flew from the drop ship and shined a red light onto the party goers.

“Ok I don't know what is going on but you have to leave…” Twilight tried to use her magic but nothing happened as the rest of the magical guest found out there could do magic ether.

“My Anti-Magic Field...patent pending. You can't use magic in my light show. Which makes kidnapping a Princess so much easily.” Crow quickly ran to Twilight and grabbed her with his right arm, which was two times larger and more powerful then this other arm. The Villain then super jumped into the dropship, laughed villainously, and flied back to his ship with the ponies and guests in shock.

….

Within the same galaxy, many light years away from Equestria...

Wario and Waluigi, rivals of the heroic Mario brothers of the Mushroom Kingdom were sleeping in their golden bunk beds as a butler of there floating castle ran to awaken them to a dire message.

Wario and Waluigi. They both wore overalls, They were yellow and purple. They did various jobs throughout their life. Many of them involving ruining the plans of the Mario Brothers. Others just a get-rich-quick scheme. Wario was always the one to find gold coins throughout the many kingdoms laid under him. Mostly by punching his way through. Waluigi, the brain, is mostly the moocher. But his intellect makes him a valuable asset to Wario. Although, sometimes, the plans don't always work; it seemed to be the best interest for Wario to let Waluigi live in his floating castle.

"Excuse me, sirs." The butler walked into the room, standing a hefty six feet tall, speaking to Wario and Waluigi in a monotone voice.

"What is it?" Wario turned over under his bed sheets in annoyance.

“You have a message that seems quite odd...i think it is someone wanting to hire you both.”

“Ah...Waluigi!! Get up and take care of it!” Wario jumped on the bunk bed knocking Waluigi out of bed onto the floor.

“Why do I have too?!” Waluigi yelled.

“Remember who’s castle this is! Now deal with this or I’ll have you start paying rent!” Wario covering in blankets went back to sleep.

‘Dear Any Hero…’ Waluigi frowned as he walked out of the bunkbed room, leaving Wario to his power nap. So, that numskull gave them the wrong mail again. Last time, Wario and Waluigi had to fight a giant monkey head in space because of that lousy mail koopa. Waluigi read the letter in his head.

‘Dear Any Hero’

‘Our kingdom is going into turmoil. Our Princess of Friendship has been captured by an evil menace and has taken her away. We would solve this ourselves but this villain uses an Anti magic technology to hid her from are magical search.’

‘So we reach out thru the Hire A Hero Service to the right hero to aid us in returning our friend back to us.’ Waluigi rolled his eyes until…

‘We the citizens of Equestria, call upon you brave heroes to act distinctively for a offer of one billion bits which thanks to the HAHS will be converted to the right amount of your realm’

Your Ally,
Starlight Glimmer of Equestria.

Waluigi's eyes went wide and his heart skipped a beat. This job would give them one billion coins if Waluigi’s math was right. The purple plumber was about to tell Wario when an idea came to him.

‘Wait if I do this job myself, I’ll get all those coins...I’ll be richer than Wario and can by my own castle, my own kingdom!’

With careful sneaking Waluigi got to Wario’s castle hanger bay and took a flying saucer Wario won in a card game. Waluigi input the location and flied to Equestria without anyone noticing.

“A billion coins here I come….It’s Waluigi Time!!”

……

Estimated Time Till Planet Arrive- Five Minutes…

Waluigi love the fact this the Flying Saucer he ‘borrowed’ from Wario had self driving programing, The purple no-good-nick could relax and get some much needed rest before getting to this ‘Equestria’ place. Waluigi read a little travel guide to the galaxy to do some homework on this job, basic scenario of bad guy kidnapped Princess and Dashing hero saves the day. Waluigi felt confident this would be a easy job.

However hidden away from Waluigi’s ship was the Star-Warship ‘Nefarious’ a few hundred miles from the purple scoundrel. Inside the battle frigate the villainous Crow watched the Saucer on his big screen monitor as it was almost to the atmosphere of the ponies planet.

“Sir, with the element of surprise we can easily eliminate this hired hero, whoever he is.”

“No Beck-E, where is the fun in that? Besides this scream ‘First Boss Fight’ and you know how I being the big bad boss tearing apart the hero with large shiny gadgets.” Crow smiled as he dropped the Star-Warship’s cloaking field as Beck-E rolled her hologram eyes at her boss’s stupidity.

Waluigi was shaken from his space nap when his ship starting a screeching sound like a pokemon got its tail caught in a door. The Saucer’s onboard monitor showed a Star-battle frigate append out of nowhere and moving to Waluigi.

“Attention Hero for Hire!” Crow was curious on who the ponies got to try and save their princess.

“Tell me who you are and I’ll end your career quick and painless.” To Crow’s surprise Waluigi appeared on his monitor and vise versa.

“Wait, Waluigi?! HA...those ponies must really be desperate if they got a loser like you to play hero!” Only a minute in this conversation and Waluigi already hates this guy.

“Who are you supposed to be? You look like a Mega-Man Ripoff from a third world country.” Crow was not amused at Waluigi’s comeback.

“I am Crow! The greatest Princess Thief in that galaxy!”

“Sorry kid but I know a fire breathing turtle that's got dibs on that title.”

“Maybe you should run back to Wario and lose another tennis game you tall freak!”

“Well, at least people know who I am you dime store saturday morning bad guy!”

“THAT’s IT!! Launch all weapons!!!” The ‘Nefarious’ moved its laser cannons onto Waluigi’s Saucer.

Waluigi panicked a bit until he noticed the large red button on the side of the main console, praying it was a shield or something. The Purple Plunderer hit the button and activated the weapons systems and a joystick control.

Thus a great space boss battle began. Down on the land of Equestria the denizens looked up to see a multicolor light show in the distance skies.

Like a game it ended in a bang...mostly as Waluigi was a terrible drive and dives his ship into the ‘Nefarious’ engines, causing both ships to come crashing down onto Equestria’s badlands.

Waluigi would have been flatter than a Kansas pancake if he had not vanished from his ship.

….

In the Star-Warship’s wreckage, Crow was pulling himself out of a pile of flaming metal to see his beautiful ship was destroyed. Beck-E and the robot minions were fine but they were now stuck on Equestria.

“What kind of genius rams a ship into the boss?! Crow rubbed his head plate.

“Systems are at 39%, I will have the robot try and repair the engines but it will take awhile, on a positive note the Princess ‘Twilight Sparkle’ is still alive and asleep in her stasis pod.”

“Well...that something.”

“Question...what were you going to do with the pony princess? My memory of your ‘grand plan’ was destroyed.”
“It’s the same thing we do on every planet with a princess...use her to take over the world!”
….

Within the Castle of Ponyville Waluigi awoke with a headache and a few faces staring at him. He was surrounded by ponies, one of which spoke to him.

“Hello, I’m Starlight Glimmer and you must be the hero that answered are plea for help.”

“Oh my head...ya that’s me, Waluigi.”

Comments

[A Somewhat Decent Writer]

You have created the penultimate fanfiction on this website. This is the moment we hit peak fanfic.

[SilverStarApple]

Waluigi. Fucking waluigi! That's it, fanfic is over. Liked and followed, everyone give their paypal/kofi/patreon/hatreon cash to this mothafucka right here.

[Xanatos Speed Chess]

[MLPMekarm]

........................ instant fav.

[mrkillwolf666]

WAH of 10

[SilverStarApple]

I rate this six WAHs out of five, but here are some spelling mistakes.

>‘Now, you would think a villain with all this technology would just go in and conquer the world, right?...In this case, no. Crow was the ‘build up to the climax kind of villain.’
‘Now, you would think a villain with all this technology would just go in and conquer the world, right?...In this case, no. Crow was the ‘build up to the climax' kind of villain.
>‘Dear Any Hero…’ Waluigi frowned as he walked out of the bunkbed room leaving Wario to his power nap. So numskull gave them the wrong mail again, last time Wario and Waluigi had to fight a giant monkey head in space because of that lossy mail koopa. Waluigi read the letter in his head.
‘Dear Any Hero…’ Waluigi frowned as he walked out of the bunkbed room, leaving Wario to his power nap. So, that numskull gave them the wrong mail again. Last time, Wario and Waluigi had to fight a giant monkey head in space because of that lousy mail koopa. Waluigi read the letter in his head.

[Mysterious-Ham]

9021665
ok thanks, I went back and fix them, side note I have no editor so this might happen again...

[James Vivien]

Oh hell yes. Crow finally gets some acknowledgement.

[ShadwSonic]

We the citizens of Equestria, call upon you brave heroes to act distinctively for a offer of one billion bits which thanks to the HAHS will be converted to the right amount of your realm’

This... isn't nearly as impressive as it sounds, is it?