• Member Since 29th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 1st, 2016

Judgeitive


E

When the Mayor asks Twilight and her friends to make a new addition to the town they are all convinced it will be perfect, but can they all build what they want at the same time?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 7 )

Very good, for a short story. A great idea, and well written.
A thoroughly enjoyable read, well done :pinkiehappy:

Could've explained who Mysteria was a bit more (unless this is a character from the show I've somehow forgotten about :derpytongue2:)
“Not to shabby, if ah do say so mahself”
^^ should be "Not too shabby"

So they built a shopping complex or a mall, well that's creative and of course it's nice to know that other ponies can contribute to it as well. :ajsmug: :yay: :raritywink: :rainbowdetermined2: :pinkiehappy: :twilightsmile:

986944

Thanks for liking it.

In your response I try and write all my stories in the same setting. The character Mysteria is from my previous story. I am sorry if this detracted from your reading experience, i just wanted to demonstrate my 'shared universe'.

If this is an issue please tell me. :twilightsmile:

Ahh, fair enough. I thought she was made for this story, so the lack of any explanation was a tad confusing, but now it makes sense.
I might have to go and read the other story now... :ajsmug:

Nice story. I like how you give Twilight an OC student, and kind of have your own universe going on.:twilightsmile:

The pacing felt a bit rushed, like the conflict arose and was gone rather quickly. It would have been nice to get further into somepony's head, especially Twilight's when she was having her eureka moment. Mysteria felt rather "just there", given that she doesn't really play a part in any of the resolution (despite being Twilight's student). Characterization is still relatively strong, though and I do feel the resolution was fitting.

Login or register to comment