It has been 10 years after Tirek was defeated. Twilight and the Elements of Harmony have vanished, as well as the Pillars. Equestria remained in peace for 3 years, until a small group of villages on the southern and western borders began to rebel against Celestia’s rule, and began to protest magic. This was brought to Celestia’s attention when these villages began a mass genocide of unicorns. Over the next several years, the Royal Army fought against these villages, attempting to maintain order amidst the chaos. This is the story of one such soldier, and the regret he held afterwards.
Chapters (3)
Hmm... found this story by chance and decided to give it a try, despite its, well, not so good long description. Seriously, that one needs some work.
However, the first chapter was a very pleasant surprise. The story seemed to flow quite naturally, the pacing wasn’t too fast and typos and grammar issues were there, but not in a huge amount. I think almost the same could be said about chapter three, with the exception of some dialogue that might need a tweak or two. Both would also benefit from more description—chapters the length of a few hundred words are usually rather frowned upon and many people would be wary to even give them a try. But I’m trailing off here.
The most troublesome was chapter two, with much faster pacing and rapid changes in surroundings and situations. There was no time to build up atmosphere or tension and it simply came over as dull.
But all in all, this us definitely not bad for a first story and it seems there are interesting characters and a tale to be told. Just the execution needs some polishing. I’m offering you my help with the issues I listed, if you want it.