A pegasus mare finds a foal abandoned in an alley and adopts him.
Slice of Life. Potentially enough for a whole cake.
First published story. Feedback'd be great.
And a big thanks to this guy for the cover art. Go check him out! no seriously go do it
Proofread/Edited by Elu and Brony at Heart
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Pretty nice and cute.
Nice! Waiting for more.
8571133
Same I always like these kind of stories keep up the good work
8571976
That's the plan!
not half bad for a merturerty level of 0
RIP @ ME
very good much enjoyable hello internet internet broke soo sad
If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?
Ooooh so cloud burst is a time lord. Nice of the Doctor to give him the watch.
Wonder why he had to make himself equine?
Enjoying this story so far. Keep up the great work!
Good chapter, but why is it Untitled?
8588592
I honestly don't really know. /shrug
EDIT; Honestly, I kinda think something like this, perhaps.
8589406
*grin*
8589932
Thanks!
8590147
I couldn't think of a chapter title. /shrug
I've had an idea, Is cloudburst the master?
I'm not sure of anyone else reading, but it's difficult to imagine anything this chapter, it's all dialogue and short descriptions of their actions. Kind of confusing if you ask me, but keep writing, it's not too bad :)
8615497
Yeah, me too. I felt like something was wrong with this chapter. I wrote all of it while I was sick, so I suppose that'd probably throw off my thinking (and thus Writing Skillz(TM)) a decent bit.
8615451
I dunno, you'll have to wait and find out. ;)
Spoilers; r4h$8chA\efHG%;>&45n)P3
Good start. I'm intrigued so far.
I might have a few things to share that you might be interested in. Just pointers from writer to writer.
Don't misunderstand I still like this story so far.
8691294
Tips? I like those. What might they be?
Also hey.
So...Cloudburst is a Time Lord? I wonder why he made himself equine? Is the Master after him? Or is it a regeneration gone wrong?
8707916
Well to start with I'd just like to point out that there are theories that the Equestrian Universe does in fact have it's own 'set' of Timelords (or Timeponys if you will). It's one of my headcannons 50% of the time. (The other 50% is a Hoomahn docmanwho™ in ponyland as pony instead.)
Also, you might just be pretty on point with that last one, as something like that has happened in cannon. E.I. River Song in that one where doc
manwho™ dies.
Oh, and to answer your first question, I'm afraid I am not allowed to divulge that information. Apologies. (Soon™)
Formatting.
Then.
Pet peeve of mine, fourteenth*
Double paragraph.
Lose, also is it meant to be <footing>?
I didn't find the reference. Time to go turn in my gamer card.
8744610
There were some... oversights, apparently. Thank you for pointing them out! The <footing> was 'cus I couldn't figure out if there was a better word then that. ^-^;
Also, the Payday 2 reference was a pager line from Wolf. Not gonna tell you what the line was though. :3
8744986
...
Fixed now, but yeah, that's true.
.-.
But hey, I did say that in the A/N. Wasn't really having too good of a day when I published these and thus rather unfocused. :<
before i read this i'm praying to all of the gods that it's not gonna be a cookie cutter story
8843985
"cookie cutter story"?
8844080
basically if i where to read this I wouldn't be able to to see what's coming from a mile away
8844091
Ah. Well was it a, "cookie cutter" story, as you put it?
8844164
man my wording was way off what I meant was i could read other stories similar to this (adoption stories) and they would follow the same flow parent/parents find child find out child has been abused or has no parents the kid is a perfect nice and polite never does any wrong. a bully or two appears but the bullies either become friends with some sob story or are sent away never to be seen again. sometimes the kid does find love happily ever after. tell me did I hit the nail on the head?
A bit heavy on the spoon-feeding but the plot's nice.
10637549
Thanks! I plan on rewriting this.. Eventually, because it's, ah. Not quite up to my standard anymore.