This is basically a story how Rainbow Dash meets Firefly, and Pinkie meets Surprise! Not only this has the conflict of RD vs FF, this is also a story of how Pinkie and Surprise rule the world! (I am just being Pinkie Pie when I say that, not really) Enjoy!
Page generated in 0.107 seconds
Total duration
1,014 users online
2,268,578 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Ok, recap,
Posey:
"I DON"T KNOW YOU!"
"I guess this Rarity person is from Canterlot"
"Really, Why did I have to read that"
"Sorry I am reading a book about this!"
"I am the daredevil here! not you!"
Sparkler:
Applejack:
Twilight Velvet:
And Firefly:
While RD is like this:
"Plz, believe me!"
Pinkie and Surprise, I don't know, but here is a hint:
I guess we know where Pinkie and Surprise are now!
Pinkie and Surprise:
Bha ha ha ha ha!
Applejack:
What in tarnation?!
ha so that where pinkie and surprise are
You kind feel sorry for Laurn concedring she has to deal with both of them
Ha ha, this is cute! Naturally Pinkie and Surprise would get together to swap stories . . .
Very nice story I like to hear more of it. I will give you a rating of what I think (
3 Out Of 5 Happy Pinkies) (This rating is temporary.)
Great idea, but your writing style could use some work. You have some misspellings (ex. creepy, not creapy) and you seem to use the "he said, she said" a bit to much. There are some more engaging ways to imply someone said something. Instead of
Firefly, why did we have to move again?" said Surprise you could instead write
, why did we have to move again?" inquired Surprise, as she cocked head to the right whilst tapping a hoof upon her chin in contemplation
It may seem a like a bit of extra work, but it engages the reader and makes the story all the more interesting.
Good luck to you on this story and please don't take this critique as an attack, it isn't. You have potential, and I'm only trying to help.