Love is a Song
“If every human being recognized the power of the love and forgiveness principle, all consciousness on Earth would change instantly” - Kuan Yin
Dr. Pastern walked down the hall of Conversion Bureau 42. She stared at her clipboard, but couldn't seem to concentrate on it. A humming from outside her room must have been the cause for her restless sleep. She looked up a moment to see Beth at the receptionist's desk. “Have you seen Alexi? There's a light that needs replacing”. She continued walking. There was no sign of him as she walked down the lonely hallway, the humming growing louder. He was usually so reliable about fixing the lights within minutes after they burned out. She looked up to try to find the source of the humming then back down at her clip board and continued walking. She must have slept later than she thought, the first conversion of the day was already in the conversion room.
Dr. Pastern was having trouble reading the name on her clip board as she entered the conversion room to hear a whimper that sounded as if it came from a small child. Young children hated being alone and the first words out of their mouth were usually something about being afraid of pain that they convinced themselves they were going to feel. She knew of course that children were just afraid of the unknown – of change, and that just manifested itself as fear of pain for lack of a better reason. She began looking up from her clip board calming the child with, “Sorry to keep you waiting. Don't worry, this won't hurt a-”
Pastern dropped her clip board and slammed herself against the wall. All of her sanity fought against it, but as every faculty within her failed to disprove the sight before her soul gave into the blood curdling scream crescendoing unconsciously from her throat as she stared at the horrifying sight of two dead abominations of indiscernible amounts of human mixed with pony: entire bodies locked in the agony that was their violent abortion, suspended only by their still shackled remains, and a third, a living breathing orange earthpony with a yellow mane and purple eyes filled with the sting of betrayal, staring right into Pastern's eyes. Most horrifying of all was what loomed impossibly far away from this sight, two tall pony like creatures with ethereal manes calmly walking straight toward her.
“NO!” Pastern screamed as she turned to run out the door, but as she reached for the door she found brownish hooves where her hands used to be. She was a pony. She tried to bite the door open, but for all she pulled, the door acted as a part of the wall itself, never budging. Panic biting and stabbing every last part of her making her wings useless as she hopelessly slammed into the door in an attempt to gain flight. Rose could hear the sound of hoof steps in the distance. She dared to look behind herself. Panic demanded all of her focus and will power to remain standing despite her body's desperate cry to give into gravity. The broken pony's eyes sought her own forcing Pastern to look past the nightmarish sight to the alicorns who had closed an impossible distance in the moment she turned her back. “NO! No! Please, Princess! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm-” With her body completely depleted, gravity took its victim like a rag doll. With nothing left, Pastern eyes shut tight as her body writhed and sobbed uncontrollably. The sound of hoof steps drew nearer.
She tried to earn her redemption by helping others convert. With all of her heart, she went above and beyond the duty of a conversion technician to save as many as possible from the fall of Earth. She thought maybe, just as the world was about to end, it would have been enough to convert herself without anesthesia that her pain of birth would absolve her of her sins, but deep inside she knew one did not equal three. She heard the clop of hoof hitting hard tile resonate through out the room like a great clock bell. Three? She was trying to lie to herself again; that hadn't worked since going pony. She cried harder. She didn't hate anyone, but she didn't show them love or compassion. She couldn't! She wanted to so badly, but she knew she would have been killed. To die eternally just as she first believed there was something beyond her mortal husk?
One set of hooves had stopped, leaving the sound of the other clear with deliberate steps. She just had to do whatever was necessary to continue living – just long enough! One heavy clop ended directly in front of her as loud as thunder and as final as a judge's gavel. She didn't have the strength to speak clearly. Her words came out as panicked screams that fell into hoarse whispers, “Oh Goddess! If you have any mercy at all, please! I know it was horrible, I couldn't stop it! But please! It gave them a soul, right?” and at the last word she held her breath.
All of her life, from the moment of her sins to this very second Rose's only comfort in her guilt was the thought that for all the lives that were stolen in the development of potion at least the two victims who suffered the paragon of human apathy and cruelty were granted a soul to live on in another existence in exchange for the evil done upon them. If in this moment Goddess Celestia told her that there wasn't enough, she would willingly give herself to excreation.
There was silence.
There was a quiet shuffling of hoof steps as Celestia laid down beside Rose and wrapped her wing around her. A perfect calm fell over her. “I am so sorry for what I put you through”, Celestia's words were calm and sincere.
Rose turned her head toward where Princess Celestia lay so as to not have to see the nightmare she created and slowly opened her eyes to see sadness in Celestia's. “Wh-” Rose's voice was strained from her passing panic, “Princess?”
“I tried everything, but no matter what, humanity ultimately would not accept conversion unless they were allowed to make their mistakes. Those mistakes hurt everyone. Yes, my little pony, you had no choice. Neither did they, but these ponies have forgiven you. They understand that you didn't want to hurt them, and have moved on. Now, I would like for you to do the same.”
Rose forced herself to look where the Princess was staring. She saw the state of the art restraints, the mangled remains, and Princess Luna looking at the third pony. Now that the fear had left her, she could see the pony moved as an automaton repeating its motions and whimpers as Luna stood right beside it watching it with neither fear nor disgust. As she stared, Rose felt such pity that her eyes began to tear up.
Dr. Pastern was a scientist, an observer of cause and effect. She knew that the race of man had killed his planet and thus himself. She was part of the generation who would suffer the last bitter sting of man's carelessness to its only home in the universe, yet even knowing this she held no anger for the generations before her who knew it was coming. Every person had choices in their life, and she was a big enough girl not to get angry over what she couldn't change, but understanding cause and effect didn't mean that she didn't have a heart.
She never really knew fear before the beginning of the project, because life had all made sense as cause and effect. However, the first thing she learned about humans and ponies was that trained unicorn ponies could see that unseeable energy that was the soul and humans had none of it: just their own mind and life. Once it had ended that was it; they ceased to be, but this... that there was an afterlife and it was not given to everyone - it was the only scientific discovery that truly scared her, worse than the descriptions of fiery hell from long past megachurch sermons, and the only time in her life where she absolutely could not let herself die until she reached the goal of a life's tomorrow.
There were so many brain dead corpses turned into ponies they knew, they KNEW, that it had to be three ounces to convert a full adult and that it would hurt like hell if they weren't completely under, but... someone - some devil! some bander-log! - wanted to put on a show of building up to the success of the project as if it didn't count until real people felt real pain. She had no choice but to administer the doses one, two, and three ounces without anesthesia on these unfortunate prisoners. She had already known that three others had been killed for not following far easier orders. She just needed to live long enough to become a pony herself... Could she ever really be forgiven for that?
Rose closed her eyes and began shivering again. She was confused, scared, and hating herself for the thoughts going through her mind. Was this pony hell? To be reminded of her sins as they literally lay before her and have her princesses just standing there to bare witness to her guilt?
“Princess...” Rose closed her eyes preparing herself to say what she never dare think, “I know that humans and all things from earth did not have a soul, a spirit, a consciousness that could continue beyond the life of their body. The ponies who helped make potion were very clear about that. Tell me, please, I cannot bear it anymore: did all of the... people I violated, develop a soul before they died? Are they still in existence? If I am to be punished, then destroy me, but if by some benevolence, beyond my understanding, you find me a victim of circumstance then please pronounce me innocent because I swear to you I cannot take this guilt any longer!”
Rose waited as the silence from the end of her last word seemed to go on forever, but there was only a brief pause before Celestia answered. “They had a soul before they died. They are still in existence. And so that you may understand this clearly: I am not going to punish you, neither do I hold your actions as a human against you.” Princess Celestia spoke each sentence with a pause letting each sink into Rose's consciousness, “You have always feared that you were a bad pony, and for that, have tried to redeem yourself. You have done well forgiving others for what they have done to you, but I wish you could have done better forgiving yourself. I am here now, to give your heart peace; I can at last share the secret that I have desperately wished I never had to keep.”
Celestia lowered her horn and touched Rose's head. Overlapping her own vision she could see Celestia watching a pig being slaughtered somewhere and somewhen in Earth's distant past. Seeing this made her sick, but Celestia's eyes could see the faint soul energy of the pig instantly cease, despite being small and stupid as far as the world would see it, the pig's end hurt like a great stain glass window suddenly falling from it's pane to shatter on the floor leaving only a memory of what was and deafening silence. It was horrifying and heartbreaking. The vision shifted. Rose could feel herself crying openly with the princess to the sight of a man running away in the distance. She cried until the pain gave way to anger, and she began to buck the nearest tree over and over again until with a crack of lightening from her hooves and a deafening clap of thunder, what was left of it fell with the smoldering ash, leaving her winded. The vision shifted and she saw the man again, this time pleading for his soul, again she felt Celestia's compassion crying out for justice in the universe. She changed him, strengthened his fragile energy of being into a stronger energy, and held his soul as she passed through to Equestria. The vision shifted. Pacing back and forth, she felt Celestia's sorrow and frustration from her recent exploration to the world of Earth. The weight of a whole universe was upon her heart, and then it lifted as something great and unseen touched her consciousness and her heart. Without words the unseen something comforted her, and seem to let her know that in time, everything would be alright. With a deep sigh Celestia found the resolve to wait.
The vision shifted to something... indescribable, and Rose could now see Celestia... or something that was Celestia, a different Celestia, a bigger and greater Celestia, looking upon the space that held Earth. She could only guess she knew this because the vision was Celestia's memories. There was a duality in her mind now for she could see this space as very small, yet the details within were not lost to her. The movement of all things stopped and began to reverse taking all objects and energies with it like playing a romball backwards. Faster and faster it went making Rose dizzy and more than a little sick. It looked like the eyes of marbles without the glass covers, a kaleidescope of energies made their movements in their reversed patterns. At some point, everything started to come together followed by layers of something converging down that Rose did not understand and at last hit a slamming halt in the form of a ball spectacularly full of details of pure energy. It was smaller than a speck of dust and brilliant beyond understanding yet gave off no real light in what must have been a single moment frozen in time. Rose watched as something magical left Celestia and knew it was the same energy she had seen from the unicorns' demonstration: the everlasting energy that was the soul. It seemed to be singing as it merged with the tiny sphere. Celestia let it flow until the infinite speck was saturated, gently coaxed into being something else, then she changed it somehow. Rose did not understand from her own knowledge, but as the energy seemed to disappear she knew from Celestia's understanding that she was “hiding” the energy so that nopony, not even herself, could see it unless they knew exactly how to find it. Then she let go and allowed time to continue. The tiny drop exploded outward then seem to hit an invisible barrier as all of its energy raged around its surface and within, flowing as if it were a foal's blown soap bubble.
Rose's jaw dropped as she fully realized what the Princess had done. The vision repeated in Rose's mind over and over again. Each time revealing to her even more appreciation for the truly noble act. Each time washing away the guilt of her own actions to reveal a hidden sorrow. She thought of the fallen stained glass window being pulled back together to take its place and shine once again. When it was broken she refused to care, because it was too late and she did not want the sorrow of unhealable pains, so she lied to herself, but knowing now that they were not gone forever, she let her heart begin to hold all the lives in the world that she never knew she cared about: the people who refused to convert, the ones who tried, but never made it to the bureaus, the animals that could not pass the barrier, all forms of life that she knew must have existed on other worlds, and even the HLF.
Rose's heart sank at that last thought, “Princess, why? I don't understand. I am... relieved and grateful that you saved us, but conversion... the advent of ponification caused so much pain and fear, broke up families and friends, and for some have left scars that don't seem to heal... Although, I have loved my pony life, would those who died trying to get here say that it was worth it? Are their spirits now here, Princess?” Rose lowered her head, “I know you ask us to call you Princess, but from what I have seen, surely you are a goddess who would carry them here when their bodies failed, wouldn't you?”
Celestia smiled even though Rose could not see it, “There is no vessel in the world that can travel the sea without making waves. The craft that ferried man into my realm was great and made great waves. Yet, my vessel was just, for your world had destroyed itself and was already sinking deep into the pit of suffering and death. From the moment of my arrival, every soul on earth was granted passage and although the seas were not so kind to some as others, every soul on earth has disembarked upon my shores. Those who did not take their body with them on this journey, experienced first what the races of the old world could never witness, and in this, became so full of joy and understanding that from them, all the stones in their hearts were unburdened.”
Rose wanted to cry, not in sadness but relief. The Princess sounded like church sermons from the ancient time so long lost that there were only stories of the stories, the speeches that were filled with wonder as they seemed to touch upon something genuinely holy, but where those words were meant to inspire fear and obedience to a confusing and contradictory dogma, the words of Celestia offered only comfort even if Rose did not fully understand.
“Princess, what do you mean what we could never witness?”
“You have been able to hear it for so long, yet you deny it to yourself. Open your heart, my little pony.”
Rose looked around the room as she swiveled her ears. The nightmarish vision had faded into a hologram. She realized now the vision must be something that existed only in her own mind, but she heard nothing more than the hum of the ceiling lights. She guessed this was a dream seeing how the conversion room opened up into an infinite expanse. Wait, there wasn't a ceiling here. Rose looked up to make sure there was no ceiling then realized it must have been what the Princess was talking about. Come to think of it, she heard it outside of the dream as well, but she just thought it was her age. It was growing. No, it wasn't a hum, it was some sort of music. From where though? She remembered now; she first heard it when she burned her finger working with potion.
As Rose focused on the sound, it grew. It was like water flowing, but slower. She listened intently quickly realizing it wasn't really sound, but it was easier to think of it that way. It began to touch her heart like a choir too far off to understand or hear clearly. She listened and seemed to see it forming into something like a tree, but it was flowing up that tree. It grew clearer; it was the tree outside of her house, then others became clearer. The song grew, it was louder, but she could not make out any clear words. It felt like their should be words because it was filled with joyous praise to just be alive. She felt birds flying overhead and tiny insects moving across the ground in the yard. The more she let herself hear, the deeper it touched her heart. Her awareness crept outward encompassing all life for some distance until like her own vision, became unclear at it's furthest point. The song raged through her mind battering her consciousness as an unending earthquake, it was beautiful beyond anything she had ever known, but it was breaking her heart. She felt so much love just from hearing the song, but the more she became aware of what she was feeling the more undeserving she felt. “Princess!” Rose choked back a sob, “What is this?!”
“Let me help you.” Rose Pastern felt Celestia's horn touch her then she gasped.
She was everything. She was every living creature and shared their lives with them. As if they were her own, she could feel the hopes and dreams, the joys and disappointments, of every being: ponies, dragons, cows, birds, ants, trees, Equestria, and beyond - EVERYTHING! It was overwhelming, but everything it was supposed to be. She felt what one pony felt as they spoke to another and felt the other pony as they listened, their reactions, their choices, their thoughts, their feelings, even the things they didn't do she could see: the present and the what-could-be. Everything moved with purpose like a carefully composed song. She felt the sadness of others in their disappointments, and felt pity for those who held resentment for what was done to them. They could not see that everything had a purpose. The song of one pony, like a single instrument playing it's part in the symphony, sounded sometimes uninteresting, confusing, or even bad, but together they became layers of music beyond compare. Everything had a reason, and no matter how bad, it was only hurting one's self to hold back the good that one could share in life. How could anyone hate another? From this point of view the answers to all the problems were so obvious. The disappointments and pains in life were merely the fall of one aria to give rise to the next, and all of the failings of a being to show love to another was just their naiveté. She pitied those who could not yet, or chose not to, see the unmeasurable beauty that was within the song. She wished they would lend their voices to it instead of trying to hide from it, or even sadder, try to quiet it out of their own pain, but she could not - would not, do anything to put a sour note in the song for love begets love and hate begets hate. They had become so precious to her; she loved them! She loved everyone because they were part of the precious everything which was beauty itself! How she wished everypony could experience THIS!
Rose Pastern witnessed the lives of uncountable beings from the omnipresent view through the eyes of her goddess. This is why Celestia was so kind, loving, benevolent. Celestia didn't act with kindness and compassion to present an image so that others would want to follow her, but because her actions, and the actions of every being in existence effected the lives of others, and she wanted hers to create love and beauty for the sake of touching everypony with the harmony that was the unending joy of the Song of Life.
The song grew distant and Rose felt exhausted from the experience. It was all too much, and her mind could not hold the infinite amount of experiences, so they faded to leave only the gentle, beautiful music that was always there and always would be. Her heart was softer. She realized how much she withheld from herself and others. All the love that was there, but was never shown out of fear of being hurt, was now blossoming. She knew opening herself like this meant opening herself to more opportunities of heartache and sadness, but if everyone chose to hide their heart, then life as a pony would soon become no different than the unloving life she knew on Earth. “Oh my Princess... If only I would have known sooner...” Rose laid her head on her legs.
There was a long pause, before Celestia spoke somberly, “For as wonderful as the state of Equestria is now. I ask you to only imagine all of Earth in it's final days, but if any part of you doubts that earth could not be saved... I will show you what was and what could have been from the time the barrier emerged.”
“Please, No,” Rose began to sob quietly, “My heart could not bare it. I knew we would all die if we stayed... Even then I just hoped I would have died peacefully before everything fell apart... It was a horrible place, and I think I was lucky to be as far away from the... carnage, as I was, but even then it came so close....” Rose looked up at Celestia with pleading eyes, “Why, Princess? Why didn't you take us to Equestria sooner?”
Celestia laid her wing over Rose and pulled it back across her, petting her, “The story of Earth was imperfect, but it was its own. I was hoping humanity could find it's own way to something greater, but when I knew for certain humanity would not survive, that is when I came.” Celestia paused and the air seemed thick for a moment as Rose calmed herself before Celestia spoke, “Have you ever heard of a katana?”
Rose felt uneasy thinking about the thing, “Yes, it's a weapon, a sword, but... why do you ask?”
“Even after the barrier emerged that sword was being created by the hands of man from the last raw iron-sand on the planet. So much care and devotion have been put into making them that Earth had a long history of documenting how they were supposed to be made, how they were supposed to be used, how they were supposed to be treated, and who a person was supposed to be to be deserving of even owning one, that anypony would be in awe of the lore, the passion, and such devoted craftsmanship. However, it is true; it was a weapon, and weapons have no place in Equestria.”
Celestia shifted to look at Rose, her expression almost sad again, “The price for your rescue was the removal of all things detrimental to the well-being of Equestria, but so much was destructive that what had to be left in the past would be what some would call the things that make humans human.”
Rose flinched at that word. “I'm sorry Princess, but I don't want to think of myself as human... Not anymore. I would gladly give up even my memories of that life, if it would make me more Equestrian.”
Celestia shook her head gently, “Being Equestrian means being at harmony with yourself, others, and nature, and harmony does not mean having not suffered. Harmony is the knowledge that wrongs can be forgiven and that life will eventually return to peace. I see in you the will to do this. I have shown you all of this, so that you may see it in yourself, and be truly beautiful in life. That being said,” Celestia smiled lovingly down at the little pony before her, “Welcome home, my little pony.”
Rose burst into tears.
Rose Pastern laid there held safe under the wing of her goddess. She didn't know how much time had passed. Her heart was free now, and her mind went over and over the revelations made to her. Closed now, head resting on one leg, her eyes wept. How could she stop herself? Not once ever had she felt so loved, and if she ever could have been loved so greatly before, she could not have been aware of it as she was now. A goddess who gave a universe life, gave forgiveness to everyone even if they didn't know it, and still loved and accepted her despite all they had done? Truly, she was a goddess of infinite compassion. Rose realized now that when Celestia called her my little pony it was not a meaningless term of endearment.
“Mother?”
“Yes, my daughter?” Celestia's words were warm.
Rose shuttered before continuing, “Am I dead?”
“Yes.”
“Could you have shown me all of this before I died?”
“No.”
“Why is that?”
“Even a pony's body cannot handle what I've shown you. The constant rebuilding of your body during ponification, was the only time I could have shown you without harming you.”
“Oh... There are just a few things I don't understand. Was this my first life in existence? I've tried to remember before, but I can't seem to even though I'm... sans body.”
Celestia giggled softly, “You have a funny way of putting things, but no this is not your first. You will be able to remember in a few lives, but for now, I want all of you to become comfortable in the new world before having to deal with all that was before.”
“Were you... When Alexi was ponified, I thought he wasn't going to make it, I called out for you and-” Rose trailed off as she realized she was staring into Celestia's eyes. Celestia was just smiling that peaceful smile that she kept wearing for a while now. Suddenly, all questions of the past didn't seem to matter anymore. Celestia was at peace because Rose was no longer afraid, but was she at peace? No, not entirely. There was so much past weighing her down... It was time to let it go. “Mother... what happens now?”
“When you are ready, you will go with Princess Luna to take a new body and live a new life.”
“I think I'm ready.”
Celestia nuzzled Rose as she stood up. Rose stood and opened her eyes to see Princess Luna standing waiting patiently. Had she been here the whole time?
She walked toward the Goddess of the Night and apparently the one who ferried those from death to life. Rose always wanted to believe in something bigger than herself, but the unforgiving life as a human hardened her heart for the hope of anything so benevolent. When she left the megachurch, she tried with all the cynicism of a great scientist to find another belief system that would give her that feeling of belonging she had in her childhood, but the years of searching and experimenting had revealed that that feeling came from naiveté not faith.
It all made sense now, during conversion dreams ponies never woke up as the same person they used to be. She had seen the angry, the greedy, the violent, the prideful, and the fearful all wake up like smiling children in the protection of their mother, and it was all because: they had.
Tonight, Rose Pastern died, and tonight Rose Pastern was born. The moment of death had been seen by nearly every religion in history as the evaluation of all past deeds as measured by how one should have lived - usually accompanied by the wish that one could have lived better. Christ, Buddha, Hercules, Osiris, even Gandelf: all of the legends from the great stories “died” and arose a wiser, kinder, more loving being. Maybe none of the people behind the characters actually had to die to learn what she learned today, but she had learned so much and had become a better pony in such a short amount of time, it would be easy for anyone who knew her before to say that she wasn't the same. However, she was still Rose Pastern, yet like a child who had learned more about life, she had simply, grown up.
The old Rose would have been afraid of the unknown of death, asking question after question until she knew exactly what was going to happen, then trying to make some sort of philosophical argument against the way things were, but the new Rose Pastern trusted her princesses and was just curious about one thing.
“Princess Luna, why do we die if we are reborn again? Why not live forever?”
“Bodies die so that you may grow. You become stuck in your ways and choose not to experience more. You become used to the way things were and do not try anything new. Your bodies are born without memory of your previous life so that you may have a chance to develop into something new, different, and better. What if your undying body should become lame, trapped, or enslaved, would you resign yourself to just stay that way forever?”
“But... Princess Celestia and yourself can see everything. Wouldn't you both know we were in trouble, and help us?”
Luna stopped walking to turn and look into Rose's eyes, her eyes were almost cold, but without ill intent; if a mountain had eyes they would appear no different. “And that's the last reason – You shall not remember this conversation, Rose Pastern, your heart will remember all of the lessons that you have learned here and in your lives before, but your mind shall not be born with this knowledge, for Celestia and I are in fact goddesses who could make all the woes in the universe be gone, but if you knew that fact in life, what would you be? Would you even try to better yourself? No. The pinnacle of our ability has never been shown. Slowly, as all of you grow, we show you more hoping that you will become what we are. Rest assured little pony, you can become so much more, if you always try.”
Rose felt something akin to fear and just silently nodded as Princess Luna turned and began walking again. Rose followed, but lagged a step behind looking down.
“Princess Luna, may I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“I have heard you were once called Nightmare Moon, and that as her, you did terrible things, but how could you have been her when you can see... everything?”
“The song you heard is not the everything you think it is, little pony... Yes, I became Nightmare Moon because I gave into the Song of Fear. I wanted to protect my foals from such an unloving world, I swore I would not let the sun rise on one more day where a foal awoke in suffering, and in my unwillingness to accept the pains they were already suffering I ultimately became the cause of the very fear I tried to purge from life.” Luna slowed her pace and sighed, “Even the gods make mistakes, little pony. I've learned all you can do is love somepony when they are doing right and love and forgive them when they are doing wrong.”
Rose kept lowering her gaze as they walked. Princess Celestia seemed so kind and understanding, but Princess Luna... The things she said - the way she said them were like a cold-hearted scientist, like a doctor who told a patient they had a terminal illness, how long they had to live, and just walked off because that was just something they had seen too many times to feel anymore... It reminded her of who she had been all her life both as Roslyn Pastern the human and Rose Pastern the pegasus. Her heart felt cold. She wished she wouldn't have been so distant from those who tried to love her. All these thoughts scared Rose because she knew that Princess Luna could be experiencing her mind and thoughts just as she thought them this very moment. What would a goddess think of such a lowly life trying to understand her? It's seemed like something a tiny pony such as herself should not even attempt, but the more she thought about that, the more she needed to know to figure out how she should be for her princesses.
Luna stopped again sighing and turned her head slightly back toward Rose, her eyes still hidden. Her words came slow, deliberate, and carried with them the same compassion as her older sister, hoping perhaps, that for all that would soon be forgotten, these last words would be remembered, “My sister and I do want you all to grow, Rose Pastern.”
Rose tried to look up to see Princess Luna, but before she could say anything, a radiant light embraced her, inviting her to sleep with all the safety and gentle warmth of a summer's day.
The Beginning.
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Why do people continue to make TCB material? The story is dead, Chatoyance has apologized for making it, and (most of) the fandom has moved on. What compels people to continue making this stuff?
8454678
Chatoyance didn't make TCB, and as for why some people continue to, why does it matter?
If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts,
Just repeat to yourself "It's just a show,
I should really just relax
-Mystery Science Theater 3000
On this Earth there are entities which incarnate into the bodies we refer to as "human." Among these entities, some originated here on Earth. Some did not. Of these various entities, some come here and enter into human form to learn. Some come to render aid and be of assistance to those who have come to learn. Some come to consume, to compel, to destroy.
Among these various entities who do not originate from Earth, there are unicorn.
The unicorn group soul might say that it has come to render aid to humans. Yet, the desire to render aid is itself perhaps a distortion of true love. Amidst infinity may exist a great deal of tragedy. Would an all-knowing God be blind to this? When you see Hamlet on stage do you desire to bring an end to his pain? When you see a child being torn asunder and eaten alive by wolves, do you desire to be of assistance to that child? Do you desire that they be spared that suffering?
In some way, this desire to render aid...is not love. It is a desire to impose one's own expectations for what is good and true and beautiful, upon an other self that exists in a state that is perceived as lacking goodness, truth, and beauty.
Why should we love and accept only the beautiful and not the grotesque?
The Conversion Bureau was born of this desire to impose. It is born of anger and resentment by others, towards humans, for their refusal to accept and their fight against acceptance of what is perceived by these others as good, true and beautiful. The Conversion Bureau is a story about metaphysical rape, by one group soul upon another.
"We will impose upon you our conception of beauty and you will like it"
"We will change you and have our way with you and make you like us and you will thank us for it."
"We are so beautiful, and you are so disgusting, that you will come to us and beg to be molded into our image, not your own. And this transformation will come with pain and suffering because we loathe your very being, and wish for you to suffer as penance for being what are you."
It should come as no surprise if the recipient of this, finds it abhorrent.
To those others who come to this Earth under the pretense of "helping" humanity, it might be to your benefit to consider your motivations for being here. Did you come to render aid? Were you asked to be here? Were you invited? Did you come to compel through an act of force, that humans be molded to conform to your standards of truth and beauty? Are you attached to the outcome of your presence here? Would you be displeased if the humans reject what you offer? Would you be angry? If they resist, will you force them to become what you wish them to become? If you do, are you truly rendering aid, or have you become the danger from which you claim to have come to protect them?
And at what consequence to your own self does this come?
8454678
People continue making TCB material for the same reason that any fan continues making any fan created content, however as I already stated in the author's comments, this story was written in 2013. Chatoyance didn't make TCB, and why would you think she would apologize for it? The Conversion Bureau concept was first written by Blaze. Here is the original Conversion Bureau story.
8454880 Your perception brings me comfort.
My people once believed that butterflies were the souls of those who had died and were traveling to beyond the mortal world, and as such they were revered and respected as a creation of the gods. We came to know that they were part of the natural world, but seeing them struggle so hard against escaping their own cocoon someone helped them break free and consequently watched the butterfly die, because this struggle in its first moment of life, despite how incredibly short it is, strengthens the butterfly. Imagine the sorrow of someone who has killed something so beautiful by accident from only wanting to help. We came to see this as a message from the gods: that we have hearts and it is good to want to unburden the suffering of others, but there are times when we can go to far. This is why before we act in any way, it is very important for us to understand the consequences of our actions.
In the story, I wrote Celestia explaining this to Rose when she said that she had hoped humanity would find its own way. What she meant was that if humanity, if any species of earth, could have survived, she would not interfere, but in this particular setting, the earth is so poisoned, that all life would be dead within a few years, and it would then take millions of years for the breakdown of poisons until the evolutionary process began again from single-celled organisms. In the setting as it is described, rescue action is just. Celestia offers to Rose a vision of every possible future, where Celestia took every possible action to render aid to its exhaustive conclusion. This was my way of telling the reader that for this setting, for this story, the actions taken are not flippant, but carefully considered as an act of compassion.
When I read Blaze’s original The Conversion Bureau, what I got from it was a feeling that he was using ponies as a mirror or sounding-board to reflect upon the troubles of human society. He seemed to be using becoming pony as a metaphor for becoming a majority welfare or at the very least, non-progressive society. His main character even from the prologue isn’t super thrilled about it, so I have to disagree with you; TCB was not born of the desire to impose, at least, not to impose ponification.
Let me shed some light on what is perhaps the too well best kept secret of The Conversion Bureau stories. You acknowledge that they are written by unicorns in human bodies, so shouldn’t it be clear to you, that every “human” that becomes a pony in these stories, whether they know it or not, was always a unicorn in a human body? You see, we didn’t write these to be hateful. We didn’t write these to impose our will on the unwilling. We wrote these because it is our deepest desire to return to what we were and from wince we came. Being in these bodies now, it is easy to wish and pretend that just, poof, suddenly without explanation, we become what we should be, but it is so much more satisfying to give this change reason and some level of resistance, so that when we reach that goal it feels real, even though we know it is, for now, only a story. You should be asking yourself: if that is really how we feel, why don’t we just go home? I assure you, if it were within our power to leave when we choose, we would have left long ago.
Yes. Earth/humanity lost a great deal of development during a terrible event.
Yes.
Not by humans.
We still believe that when a spirit grows to be able to perceive an entire planet in ways that a body cannot, that there is a logical conclusion within the individual to how a being should act, but we have no interest in forcing you to be this way.
We have been here for longer than recorded history, and there have been times when each of us in our most desperate moments hold to the idea that we were doing something good here. When we leave this world, there is no doubt that there will be mourning for our perceived failure and anger for our wasted time. Healing is a process that often requires fully feeling what was unsafe to feel at the time that we were hurt.
Humans have rejected us, and it was a shock to me. I have experienced every emotion with a name toward this, and many more that don’t have a name. We perceive this problem, and we have no unified answer, except that we do not want to become monsters.
I sometimes wonder if like the person who accidentally killed the butterfly, if we were meant to be so wrong in all that we have done by coming here. Just as that lesson that was so small and long ago was so profound in shaping our society, it may be that it was simply time for another lesson, one that we don’t yet completely understand. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for falling on humanity’s sharp pointy rock, but I’m not here to invade or change anything. This is our last life on earth, we are not allowed to kill ourselves, so we are leaving at the speed of life. For human and unicorn alike, I know that this feels like much much too long, but that is why we write fiction like this, to keep us in good spirits while we are waiting. If you don’t like it, don’t read it, but it doesn’t have any bearing on the future of this planet, so don’t let it trouble you, and please be patient with our exit.
8454678
What? First, I did not 'make' the Conversion Bureau. I just wrote in what is a collective fan-created story universe.
I certainly do not appologize, in any way shape or form, for writing my stories. I am absolutely proud of my work here, and absolutely content with it. It is some of the best work of my life.
Why do people still concern themselves with the Conversion Bureau (and I do not mean the terrible, anti-Bureau 'deconstruction' crap that fails to follow the Three Rules) you ask?
Most of Fimfiction is filled with childish, dull, simple or openly pornographic stories. They are all hack-work of the most disappointing sort - foal rape and pathetic little shipping fics, or even more terrible, overpowered Mary Sue characters. Almost everything on Fimfiction is crap. But there are two genres here, just two, that are intelligent, mature, and brilliant. One is Iceman's 'Optimalverse' setting. The other is the original, true, Three Rules compliant Conversion Bureau. These two story universes, alone, rise above the mediocrity and awfulness that is Fimfiction.
Both genres take a simple children's cartoon, and turn it into serious, hard science science fiction. A treat for the intelligent among us here, sparking new ideas and deep questions about identity, reality, and the nature of humanity itself. That is vastly more worthwhile than some wretched story about Pinkie Pie killing her friends, or Celestia raping ponies, or ponies dressed up in Warhammer suits, or incest porn, or whatever other bad, terrible, awful crap that is commonly posted around here.
That is why.
Peachclover: very sweet story, and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for posting it here.
Added directly to the Bureau archives. Of course.
8454843
I love that the netflix remake has that part of the theme while SHOWING bunk beds, hydroponics, and science labs
8457878
I need to watch that series someday since I only really know it by reputation. That said I love that part of the song since it pokes fun at people who take works of fiction to seriously and get offended by them, which is why I like posting it on stuff like this.
8457902
It's a brilliant series, but the jokes can be a bit dated, the remake has more current affairs based jokes.
In the original theme, that part was sung showing an empty (apart from the doors) hallway thing, in the current? it is sung while literally showing, how he eats, and breathes etc.
oh wow, you should have posted this story sooner
8454678
Chatoyance did not start the story, at all.
Blaze's original story was answering the question "why are there are so many human gadgets and terms used in a world of talking magical ponies?"
The idea of the crashing of two worlds being intentional, and the transformation resulting in death of personality, were all added in by later writers, and other writers began attacking that and presuming that was the intention of Blaze when he wrote the first fic. (And really doesn't make sense with the first fic's original question!)
8454880
Uh, no. It was started with Blaze asking the question, "Why are there so many identifiable human like gadgets and terms by magical talking horses?" Heck, I would add today: why are there ponies who are so obviously culturally east indians?
Therefore, the idea of human technology and culture being wiped makes absolutely no sense with the intent of the original author.
8585981
Death of the Author
Do fish understand water? How long until humans understood air? When one is immersed in a thing, it's easy to not be aware of that thing. You're surrounded by air right now, but were you aware of it in the same sense you were aware of your chair and your computer monitor and your desk?
Tropes and archetypes are similarly ubiquitous, and can similarly go unnoticed, even by an author.
8587561
There's a reason lots of author's hate that trope when it's purposely invoked. If Blaze was anti-humanity, he'd have never wanted to answer the question of how ponies had so many obviously human made inventions and cultural traits.
8587773
Just because you eat hamburgers doesn't mean you're "anti cow." Nevertheless, if you're a cow...humans eating hamburgers probably doesn't seem all that great to you.
Blaze intended what Blaze intended. But there's a large and vocal community who loathes the Conversion Bureau verse, and I suspect they don't feel the way they do just because Blaze wanted to light-heartedly examine why ponies have human inventions and culture and yet have no humans.
Examine TCB not from the point of view of the ponies, but from the point of view of the human collective. It becomes a very different story. Just like, "my family went out for hamburgers and had a happy, wonderful time" is a horror story...if you're a cow.
8589233
That makes it sound like the ponies were harvesting humans or something, or were invading. Personality death, and/or characters becoming zombies, Was invented totally by later writers, as was the idea of the world crashing being intentional. And there was nothing I think that suggested Equestria was going to try and violate the sovereignty of other countries by taking territory.
The only bug I can genuinely think of, is dragons, zebra, griffins, etc, not getting in on the deal, something I've corrected in my own works in the setting.
8589365
You're reading too much into the metaphor. Simply try examining the Conversion Bureau verse from the point of view of the human collective rather than from the point of view of somebody who longingly wishes they could go to Equestria.
It's well known that there's a large body of people who absolutely detest TCB. I'm explaining why. If you don't personally feel that way, that's fine. I'm not trying to convince you to join their club. Simply understand what TCB is from their point of view. Look at a gentle and loving child fondly playing on the grass with his beloved pet, from the point of view of the grass they're trampling. Look at gargling mouthwash to make your breath fresh from the point of view of the millions of bacteria you're killing when you do.
The child playing with his dog isn't laughing maniacally at the hardship he's causing, and when you gargle mouthwash you're not twirling your mustache gleefully at the prospect of committing mass bacterial murder.
Nevertheless, there's a darker side to these things after a perspective shift, and there's a darker side to the Conversion Bureau. Whether you identify with the child or the doting parent or the grass entirely changes the context of "playing on the grass," and TCB is a dark and horrifying place with unfortunate implications for those who identify with humanity.