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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hang on. Does the human have foreknowlage?
This story quickly become a political war game. And we all know that when it comes to politicians, it take forever to actually start doing something.
8774396
I believe in an earlier chapter it was mentioned he intended to travel to "modern day" Equestria and undershot the time frame.
8774517
Ah.
he needs a ak47, a magic proof set of armor, and a fleet of androids, asap.
just for the politics
that's make the biggest difference. - that's to make the biggest difference. -or- that's made the biggest difference.
8774597
Fixed!
This doesn't absolutely need to be corrected, as it's dialogue, but for reference - if you're not sure whether to use I or me, picture the sentence without the other noun. (In this example, you wouldn't say "Me is going shopping for supplies.") If you do want to correct it, 'Me and Easy' should be 'Easy and I'.
8774720
Good tip.
Found a hiccup in your writing.
It feels like you made a jump between paragraphs, like you wanted someone to say Luna was ignored, but didn’t get around to writing that in.
8774962
I didn't. I just left what Ian and/or Easy might have said in response. This was all Work's talking though. It is a perspective thing.
8775183
I am really starting to dislike easy breeze, she is too demanding and hot-headed, and while being hot-headed is fine the fact that the mc is doing nothing about it is not, the only reason I can see you doing it this way is if you wanted the readers to dislike Easy Breeze
The Elements of Harmony are what Celestia used to banish Luna. How can it be too early to mention them when Celestia used them at barely a generation or two ago? And both Alicorns used the Elements to stone Discord. So every pony should know of them. The might not know what they stood for, but they should know of the magic crystals that saved them from Discord.
8776023
No one mentioned crystals.
8776585
8777960
Well, alright, now someone mentioned crystals.
BTW… The story reminds me a bit of this track → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQuvHwOL7kU
I don’t like Easy Breeze. For a plumber’s daughter, she’s lettin’ her ego go to her head. Ian should NOT be this meek.
Work Pants truly has a noble dignity and soul. It's all too easy to see that his will be the line that Fancy Pants comes from. Easy Breeze, of course, will likely be Trixie's ancestor, or potentially Twilight's ancestor (or maybe both).
The real question is who the leading mare of the rebels will be, or rather who her descendants would be. Hah, wouldn't it be a twist if she was the Apple family matriarch?