Dark Body, Light Soul (Or the Tale of the Stalfos)

by Garino

35. Jawbreaker

Chapter 35: Jawbreaker

Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. The steady sound of a bass drum kept sounding out. The three of us didn't move; me because I was trying to listen to where the sound was coming from, Drac who was trying to find that sound and failing, and the gryphon I don't rightly know. Well, I didn't at the time.

Boom. Boom. BOOM. The beat stopped. And the gryphon started moving. Fast. So fast, in fact, I didn't see him lift his axe and make my head part company with my body. As I (as in, my head) hovered in the sky, I saw the gryphon stop dead in his tracks and turn around, ready for another strike. He lowered it...and stopped moving. At this time, my head landed perfectly where it belonged. I adjusted it to make sure it didn't happen again. I turned toward my opponent and heard the sound of drums again.

"There it is again," I muttered. I still couldn't pinpoint where the sound was coming from. Doesn't matter right now. Hit him while he's a sitting...gryphon, Bard commanded. Again, hard to argue when that's what you wanted to do. I gripped the lance and thrusted into his heart.

And then the drums stopped beating. The gryphon grabbed my lance, making me run right into the wooden end. He lifted it (and by extension, me) up into the air, and then slammed it on the ground, scattering me across the field. Geez, I am just having a terrible run of luck lately, aren't I? I asked myself.

My opponent had dropped the lance and picked up his axe. He then raised it, ready to cleave my poor widdle head in half. I gulped, awaiting the inevitable. And, as luck would have it, the drums started beating again. The gryphon stopped again, the axe way too close to my head for comfort. Quickly, I reattached everything (it was starting to become an art) and picked up the lance again.

Once again, when the drums stopped, he moved again. He finished his swing, only to realize his target had moved. The axe slammed into the ground with a loud *CLANG!* and remained embedded. He tried to pull it out as I capitalized. I held the lance with the tip pointing up, running towards the vulnerable winged mammal. The closer I got, the lower I dropped the tip, aiming to skewer him and make...some random food, I forgot in the heat of the moment.

The beat of the drums started again, a few steps away from him. As the lance connected with him, it bent. As in, I had just used him for pole vaulting. NOT what I wanted as I flew into the air. Before I could recover, the drums stopped. He grabbed the lance, twirled it a bit, and thrust the pointy end in the air, right into my skull and making me a scarecrow. He placed the lance in the ground as if he WAS placing a scarecrow, and flew off. The drums played again, and he dropped to the ground like a sack of bricks.

It was here that I learned that wherever the hell those drums were, they controlled him. When they beat, he stops moving. When they were silent, he was moving. But I bet you knew that before now, didn't you?

Drac didn't hide his smile. "Still wanna learn the lance, Daniel?" he asked.

"And you weren't helping because...?" I responded.

"You can't have me helping you out ALL the time. So I decided to see how well you did without me. Turns out..." he chuckled evilly here, "you're gonna have a lot of fun without me to help you."

And by that, he means you and the ground are gonna be BFFs, an unwanted opinion chimed in.

"If this is your definition of 'fun,' I would like to help you redefine that word," I sighed. I then tried to remove myself from the lance. I had...a bit of difficulty.

Turning to Drac, I asked, "Hey, uh...mind getting this lance out of me?"

He rolled his eyes, but helped me out anyway. He ripped my skull right out of the lance with his magic. Thank goodness I couldn't feel the pain, because I think I would've cried.

"Geez, that would've hurt if I was alive," I muttered. Or...I would've, if it didn't sound like a lot of mumbling. Confused, I put a hand where my jaw should've been. Guess what? Yep: wasn't there. As I quickly looked around for it, I heard Drac laugh. Hysterically. I turned to him, wishing I could give him a death glare, only to find my jaw in his possession.

"Hahahaha! Oh, I haven't laughed this hard in ages!" he exclaimed. "I've got to keep an eye on your adventures somehow!" As his laughter died down, he gave me back my jaw. Putting it back in place and making sure it stayed there, I gave a sigh.

"Didn't think it would be that difficult to weild a freaking lance. Or how badly I'd be beaten because drummer boy had an axe," I commented.

Drac shook his head, his demeanor returning to the stoic expression he had from the start. "You're a rookie lancer fighting an expert axeman. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if you lucked out on every fight you had before you came here."

Not EVERY fight, I thought bitterly. Maybe just the tournament. And the match against Highwind. And Mordroc. ...I think my mind should shut up.

I examined the lance to make sure it wasn't damaged. Apart from a small crack near the tip, it could be passed off as new as the moment I took it from the armory. "I think I'll practice on my own for a while," I stated. "I don't want a repeat of that, either here or topside."

Drac didn't respond, simply turning and going back to the mansion. Once he was out of sight, I started practicing.

Author's Note:

And here's the real chapter, what you were probably wanting in the first place. Enjoy with your favorite drink, and I'll see you next chapter!

And holy crap, this is a small chapter! I didn't mean to give you such a small portion!

Comments

[Cades]

I ENJOYED THIS WITH A MUG OF RICE KRISPIES.

[My Life of Discord]

2482090 CAN YOU GIVE ME A RECIPE FOR THIS MUG OF LIQUEFIED CEREAL. AND WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?!

[Cades]

2482827
SURE.
1 CUP MAGMA
3 TEASPOONS OF A DYING SUN'S CORE
1 CUP CEREAL OF YOUR CHOOSING
17 MILLIGRAMS OF PURE RAINBOW EXTRACT.
1 GALLON OF FREEDOM. 'MURICA

[My Life of Discord]

2483122 THAT SOUNDS AMAZING! I WILL ASK MY GRAM TO EXTRACT THE FREEDOM FROM THE UNUSUALLY HAPPY POOR CHILDREN IN HER CITY!

[Cades]

2483193
QUITE.

[Lucien Chance]

THIS CHAPTER WAS GREAT. I NEED MOAR OF THIS STORY.

[RealityDowngrade]

Oh my, realization of dues ex fueled fights, and is now learning to gain control? This should be interesting.

[Vash_ts]

2495185 no, I mean, when you said "this will be non canon"
I expected some silly chapter, where the story is ignored for the lolz, some AU stuff, weird shit (not that kind of shit) or alternate chapter versions.

but I found that you grabbed a GMP boss battle, Cut off conker and pasted Mr. Fortescue in its place.... it is just.... meh...

[Garino]

2503297 Ah...well, sorry about that. That'll be the last time I do that. Copypasta a random boss battle, I mean.

[Vash_ts]

2503691 No prob.
awaiting the next chapter ^^

[Garino]

2503699 Just gotta work out a few grammar issues and next chapter will be ready to go. Thanks for sticking around for so long.

[Vash_ts]

2503722

My pleasure :D

[Black--Soul]

Time to get good. Why risk luck when you can have skill