Dark Body, Light Soul (Or the Tale of the Stalfos)

by Garino

5: Ladder Matches and the Things They Burn

Chapter 5: Ladder Matches and The Things They Burn

In all honesty, I actually expected a chupacabra like the one I saw from Jackie Chan Adventures. Maybe a bit bigger. Instead, what I'm staring at is nothing more than a goat. Seriously? Those guys were breaking their bowels over THIS? I thought. This thing looked less dangerous than Monster Madness's version of the chupacabra, and THAT'S saying something! This was going to be easier than the cyclops!

............

That was before it showed its true colors. That goat turned itself inside out to reveal a huge, snarling brown lizard with razor-sharp teeth, knife-like claws, and jagged scales. Again, I thanked God for my form, because if I were human, I probably would've been wishing for my brown pants.

In a flash, the monster jumped right at me. Instead of dodging out of the way, though, I rolled onto my back and allowed it to get over me. I planted my feet on its chest and, using as much strength as I could muster, shot him over to the other side. That thing was quick: no sooner had I lifted it, it had manuvered itself to where it would land on its feet, ready to pounce again. The monster charged at me, however, instead of jumping towards me. I held my kite shield up, ready for impact.

I silently counted to myself. 3...2...1...NOW! I dashed towards my opponent, shield raised and sword travelling behind. Claw and steel collided, sending the chupacabra reeling. Capitalizing, I pierced his right side with a sharp thrust. It howled in pain, actually knocking me down with its tail, but failing to follow up. And that was good for me, since I think I lost my leg with its tail swipe attack. As I used my sword to steady myself, I was shocked to find it glowing.

A white aura surrounded it, as if a holy spell had been cast on it. But I couldn't recall using any such spell. Or even knowing one, for that matter. I ignored it for the moment to look for my leg.

............oh, that no-good, goat-eating, son of a bitch.

The chupacabra had decided that my leg would make a good snack, and was gnawing on it with its sharp teeth! "Give that back! It's not yours to eat!" I yelled. I hopped over to it and tried to use my sword to convince it that my leg was not tasty. He deflected it with a quick claw combo, blocking the sword and hitting me in the torso area. I felt a few ribs dislocate, but I shook it off for the moment. I tried again, same results, except different ribs were dislocated. This was not doing well for my PR.

How was I going to get that thing to drop my leg? Wait, if I could control it before, when I fell down the stairs and became a disjumbled mess, could I control it now? I flexed my unattached limb. Yes, it responded in kind! The chupacabra stopped, surprised its snack had started moving. It munched harder on the leg, trying to break the bone. I flexed it back, the heel kicking the monster in the jaw. It only served to piss it off, as I heard the bone start to give in. Wait, I've had the solution since before I even came into this place!

Dropping my sword, I tossed my kite shield into my right hand. Aiming carefully, I threw it right at the chupacabra's legs. It connected, making the monster howl in pain and drop my limb. Hopping over, picking up my sword along the way, I decided it was time to finish this with a bang. As I hopped, my sword's aura changed from white to red as it connected with the lizard's skull. And I got my wish. When I removed the blade, the chupacabra let out one final guttural roar before it exploded into tiny chunks. The head came down towards me, and I let my sword become a shishkebab by catching it. The aura had disappeared from my twisted blade.

The crowd roared for me again as I lifted the head in triumph. Some of the skeletons I saw during my intermission were looking around, and I saw some of the attendants around them were nodding their heads, as if they agreed my match was awesome. Others were shrugging their shoulders, while one undead type, I won't point out which, waved their hands as if they could do better.

I left the stage, tossing the head into the crowd as a gift for them. The one who caught it actually squealed in delight for having something to take home. Who knew they loved this sort of thing? I waited for the announcer before I took my official leave.

"The winner, once again, is Daniel, the fighter for Jack's Weapon Emporium! That's what I call a match-up!" The crowd roared again as I took my leave...

...only to pass right through Melody and bump into Jack, who were both at the gate.

Melody looked downcast, and Jack looked a bit sorrowful as well. Why would they? I just got through round 2 of the tournament, and I'm pleasing the crowd.

Melody spoke first. "I'm sorry, Mr. Fortiskay, but I couldn't keep it a secret any longer," she murmured, nearly breaking down into tears.

"What are you talking about, Melody?" I asked. "Keep what a secret?"

"Quarter. Now," Jack commanded. His voice was more forceful than it was when we first met. I had a suspicion about what the secret was, but I didn't want to own up to it in the open. And apparently, Jack didn't want anyone else to hear, either. Nodding, we took refuge in my room.

---

My fears were confirmed. Not my worst ones, since that would include guards coming and taking me away immediately for execution. Instead, Melody had confided in Jack about my true form, since he was sponsoring me and she was worried for his well being should others find out. Jack seemed sorrowful not because of this fact, but because I wasn't honest with him when we first met. We sat in my room, discussing the full tale of how I came to be (starting from when I woke up in the Black Marsh and leaving out my meeting with Olman). As I finished, I tossed my robe and hat onto the bed, waiting for the retribution.

"So, you be Stalfos?" Jack asked. I simply nodded, not in the mood to speak up. "You want release Keeta?" Another nod. "You know why Stalfos untrusted?" I shook my head. I had heard from Melody they were all wiped out, save Keeta, but I never knew the why of it.

Melody piped up here. "Stalfos were never trusted here. Most of them were created by unicorns using dark magic and unholy rituals. They attacked anyone who dared enter an area their summoner labeled 'restricted.' 30 years ago, a foolish unicorn by the name of Mordroc created a whole group of them and labeled our city as 'restricted.' His army drove out all of us. Of course, we were all 'living' at this point. Most of the males tried to fight back. They were cut down. Those that fled were either picked off or caught by the other unholy abominations of the forest. He had taken over the whole town.

"Of course, his victory was short lived. In his glory, he dismissed the Stalfos as his summons. Since they were no longer under his employ, and he was technically in a 'restricted' area..." she made a motion with her hoof. Man, Mordroc was one stupid necromancer. "After his death, Igos, his strongest Stalfos, took the throne for himself and named himself King of the city."

I cut her off here. "Waitwaitwaitwaitwait. Two questions. First, what's the name of this city? I never saw the city limit sign when I came in."

"This be Necro City," Jack piped up. "Igos name it after taking over."

Necro City. That's a pun of some sort, I just know it. "Second, Are you sure it was only 30 years ago?"

Melody nodded. "Yes. Igos actually ruled this town for 28 years with an iron fist. He treated other undead like dirt, while Stalfos and skeletons basically lived a life of luxury. The same went with his followers. Except..." she trailed off.

I motioned for her to continue. "Who? Who didn't follow King Igos's orders?"

Although it was the answer I expected, it still surprised me when she said it. "Everyone except Captain Keeta."

Comments

[Digitalis]

Mordroc, poor idiot.

[voiddragon]

worse.necromancer.ever.
I mean common what an idiot .

[Darksoul]

Dumbest necromancer ever (none could top it). Funny if his sponsor or deity watching over him gets bored and changes his form from one undead to another later down the line while he is in a slumber state.

[garouken]

sounds like some thing i would do

[Garino]

942006 What sounds like something you would do?

[garouken]

release the Stalfos and get killed by them

[Wings of Chaos]

I'm enjoying this story way to much. keep going!

[Forevermore]

I wonder what these guys think of the Wardens?

[revilO]

Hell yeah, keeta is a good guy

[Magical Trevor]

942084 XD Yeah, same here... That seems like the small detail kinda thing I would forget as well! xD
(Also, LOVE your avatar, btw. Filly Derpy?)

[DerpedRainbow]

Necro City? Just get Megamind here. He'll say it.

[PetitPoney]

Jackie Chan Adventures

static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/10/100757/1933557-tumblr_lj68v08svv1qg8ut4.gif
ONE MORE THING!
I loved these series. Thanks for the nostalgia moment!

[net105]

wait wasn't Captain Keeta one of the Stalfos from Majora's Mask?

[Ninjahzzzz]

3751705 he's the big fucker

[Black--Soul]

Nice fight