- Member Since 8th Dec, 2012
- offline last seen 9 hours ago
Prince Nightfire Grace
Fair warning, many of my stories are self inserts. Second half of http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Warfire+Writing+Studios
Prince Nightfire Grace
Joined 8th Dec, 2012 ·
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Okay I got to ask, how is it that LUNA, the Princess of the Moon and Guardian of DREAMS won't find these 5, after all they should fall asleep at sometime so she will be able to find their dreams and see what has happened to them.
Quick note: When characters address one another during dialogue, common writing convention puts a comma before the name (if it's not at the start of the sentence) in order to avoid unclear meanings. Example:
versus
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Well the reason being I think she wouldn't have found them yet, is because being unconscious is different from normal sleep.
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Thanks for the bit of grammar correction. I appreciate it.
there are a lot of run on sentences here. Kind of takes aware from the sexy :/
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Sorry 'bout that, thought I had it fixed before I uploaded it.
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Well they will have to sleep at sometime, so then Princess Luna will find them, besides they can't stay gone forever or something would seem wrong, so unless you have that Milk farm send in Changelings to take over as those ponies I think the others will find out something is wrong.
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You just brought something up I never thought of when I wrote this. Now I think I may have an idea for the second chapter or maybe even two more. I really appreciate your incite.
I like the idea of milking and estim play. Can't wait to see more. All the dislikes are odd to me, as really the only issues I see are simple, easy-to-fix grammatical ones.
It's a fine concept. Keep it up!
Frickin' psychopaths. These ponies don't deserve to live.