Master of Shadow’s Comment
As you and Tina make your way out you notice her downtrodden face, no doubt due to how her spear was taken away. This actually makes you feel a little sad.
Don’t worry Beastwoman! For Skeletor is a master in the art of pickpocketi- I mean stealthily ‘borrowing’ items!
It’s true. Back before you got teleported or however the hell you got to Equestria you were a master at pickpocketing. Playing hours upon hours of stealth games made you curious if it was really as easy it looked. A couple internet searches and annoyed smacks from your sister later, and you realized that no, no it is not that easy. That didn’t stop you from practicing the skill though, not for any real monetary gain, but for the prank factor. Needless to say, many of your marks were baffled when their IDs were glued to their houses.
Anyway, deciding to dust off your old skills you stealthily grab Tina's spear as you walk past Foxtrot and out of the Library. You get a good couple feet away and you see Tina's awed look, which only causes your ego to boom.
Yes! Be amazed at the great and powerful Skeletor's magnificent pickpocket ski-What the Hell?!
While boasting you looked back at your ill gotten gain and found a surprise. You do have the spear, but you are also dragging a very angry Foxtrot along with it.
Dang, I didn’t even notice the extra weight. Weird how this body is so freaking strong.
While O'Carrol follows behind snickering, Foxtrot digs her hooves into the ground in a fruitless effort to stop you.
"Creature, if you don't let go right now and explain to me just what kind of 'Science' you’re planning in the next ten seconds, then so help me Celestia I wil-"
Deciding that you didn't want to deal with the guard’s anger you quickly let go which causes her to topple over backwards onto the ground.
This gets a snort out of both Tina and O’Carrol, and you’d be snickering too if her gaze wasn’t trained right on you.
Blowing at a stray strand of hair that had gotten in front of her face, she gets to her hooves and reholsters the spear while you shake your hands in a back and forth gesture in the hopes that it can calm her down. She scrunches her eyes in response and shakes her head before looking at you with a lessened glare.
"I still haven't heard what science you’re planning on doing creature!"
Thinking quickly you nudge Tina and gesture for her to explain. Tina nods her head before looking over to Foxtrot.
"Master Skeletor off on side quest! Find out some more info of old biped before some 'great disaster' comes tomorrow. Master still won't tell loyal Guardian Tina just what disaster is though..." At this Tina gives you a pleading look, to which you only scratch your head nervously.
Sorry Tina, but I can't exactly reveal the whole Parasprite disaster just yet. Need to wait for when those devil puff-balls show up before I can do my stuff.
While you were busy thinking this, your two guards ponies shared a look before Foxtrot mumbles to O'Carrol,
"Is he talking about the princess arriving tomorrow?"
"He must be. You think he had a vision of her punishing him?" O'Carrol side glances at you in worry.
“He didn’t see anything Oak,” she whispers resolutely. “He’s probably just nervous. He hasn’t actually hurt anypony so she wouldn’t do anything…right?”
"Guard ponies! Stop mumbling and hurry up, Master doesn't have all day!" Tina orders and the two guards snap out of their conversation to see you and Tina ahead of them. You would have just left them behind, but you didn't wanna send the towns ponies off into a panic if the 'creature' was seen without its guards.
Foxtrot and O'Carrol share a look before catching up to you as you make your way to Lyra’s house.
Good thing Pinkie creepily knows where every single pony lives in this town, you think as you look at the directions she’s drawn for you. As you do, Tina nudges you and you look to her.
“Thanks for trying Master. Tina get spear again one day.”
Of course you will Beastwoman. It wouldn’t do to have my minions unarmed, you nod as you pat her head, causing her tail to wag.
Now, let’s get to Heartstring’s house and hopefully get some answers before everything ends tomorrow…
A FEW BLOCKS LATER
Sunbro4life's Comment
As you walk through town, you get the usual looks of fear or hesitance from the towns folk that you are sadly now used to. However, you manage to distract yourself from the looks by doing what you do best, getting lost in your own thoughts.
You know, if this version of Equestria has a whole lot of crossover stuff happening, then what else could there be? Like there's already JoJo, Old School MLP and now Full Metal Alchemist stuff I’ve come across, so who knows? If there’s already living skeleton monsters then for all I know there might be a Nito on the loose in some dark corner of Equestria.
The thought of the skeletal monstrosity Dark Souls boss somewhere out in the world manages to send a shiver throughout your body.
One skeleton messed me up in my new jacked up body so who knows what multiple ones smooshed together will do. I really, really hope Dark Souls is the one franchise that doesn't bleed over…Although, if Nito was here then wouldn't he be made of a bunch of different species skeletons? Man that would probably be a really badass metal album cover now that I think about it.
You really, really have a fascination with living bone creatures that not even therapy can solve.
Maybe I should keep a page for all the crossover elements I find?...Nah, that’s a waste of paper. I should be able to keep track of all the crossover stuff well enough in my head.
With that thought you once again switch your mental topics.
You know I wonder if the Stand arrow could work on the other species here? I mean all it demands is that you are worthy, and in Part 4 rats of all creatures got Stands. So why not the overly adorable creatures of Equestria? In fact...
Your eyes linger over to Tina, who is loyaly by your side as always, as you continue to think,
If Tina is worthy...I could have a Stand powered Beastwoman! Oh the possibilities of having a Stand minion, plus if I play my cards right I can help Celestia get a army of super-powered guards! Discord, Chrysalis, Tirek, none of them would stand a chance! Plus that might save me a stoning...a stoning...
The possibility of your fate tomorrow hits you again, causing you to shudder.
Oh who am I kidding, I’ll end up killing a lot of innocents jabbing that stupid arrow into them, and that will get me stoned faster. There’s still no guarantee it’s even genuine, you think sourly. Before you can get too lost in your melancholy, Tina suddenly says,
"Master, we are here!"
Snapping out of your thoughts you see that you are, indeed, at your destination. Lyra's house is right in front of you, and with it hopefully some answers you really need.
"We'll stand guard out here creature, if anything suspicious happens we will break the door down. Just so you know,” she says matter of factly.
You can feel a sweatdrop forming as you think in a deadpanned tone,
Well thanks for the vote of confidence Foxtrot, really shining as my favorite guard with that attitude, you deadpan as a sweat drop forms on your brow.
With a sigh you walk up to the door and knock. After a few seconds you are greeted with one of the fandom’s favorite background ponies.
“Skeletor?” she gasps in shock and you give a nervous little wave. Her eyes then sparkle in absolute glee as she turns behind her and shouts,
BrownDog's Comment
“Oh My Gosh! Girls! Girls! He’s Here!”
Girls? Who’s she talking to, Bon Bon? That’s only one gi-Oh Crud!
Filling the doorway are three other unicorn mares, Minuette, Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine.
The Unicorn Science Pack! You think with both glee and trepidation. The other three all look at you in awe while Lyra trots in place giddily.
“This is him! The missing link! Skeletor! Oh how great is this that he finally visits when you’re all down?!” She squees, which makes the others lose their collective minds.
“He’s Amazing!” Twinkleshine gushes.
“Extraordinary!” Lemon Hearts agrees.
“He’s so cool looking Lyra! Why didn’t you say he was so cool looking?!” Minuette shouts.
“Master, Pony squees hurt my ears,” Tina complains from behind you.
“Oh My Gosh, he has a dog too?” Minuette asks.
“Oh right, I think he rescued her or something, I saw her walking in town with him a few days ago,” Lyra nods. “Oh, but where are my manners? Come in, Come In!” She then all but yanks you through the door with her magic on your hand, with Tina following suit.
Oh boy, what did I just get myself into?
Lyra then goes on and on about how excited she is that you’ve finally come around to talking with her, and that it was lucky her friends from Canterlot were down for Princess Celestia’s visit tomorrow. She then introduces you to said friends. Twinkleshine and Lemon Hearts courteously greet you with their names, but Minuette stands up on her hind legs and rapidly shakes your hand while gushing over you.
“My name is Minuette and I just have to say, it’s so amazing to meet you Mr. Skeletor sir you!”
Nice to meet you too less hyper blue Pinkie, you smirk. Then, much to Tina’s chagrin, Minuette starts fussing over her.
“What’s your name?”
“T-Tina,” she says nervously.
“Oh my gosh! You are soooo cute! We have to get your nails and fur done up at the spa!”
“No! Tina hates baths!” your Beast Man shrieks, which only makes the blue unicorn laugh more.
You two are then led to the living room, where apparently you’ve interrupted a tea party. They set you down on the child sized couch and Lyra grabs a pitcher that serves as a normal glass for you.
“I’m so glad you came,” she says thankfully. “Bon Bon is going to be so jealous when she realizes you came over while she was out helping decorate.”
You nod to this and sip your tea. You’re no aficionado, but it tastes fine by all accounts.
“So, why did you decide to finally come Skeletor?” she asks. In answer, you hold up your pad and point to ‘Science.’
There is a deep pause for a few seconds, before all the mares just shriek in giddiness while Tina holds her ears in discomfort. The science pack then bring out note pads, random science equipment, and even a few cameras.
“This is history in the making girls! It’s a shame that Moondancer didn’t come though,” Lyra wilts her ears.
“Yeah, she’s hardly kept her nose out of a book since the Summer Sun Celebration,” Minuette adds.
Oh, now there’s a friendship problem I could probably fix for the better before it gets worse…if I survive tomorrow that is.
Pushing thoughts of speeding up friendship lessons aside, you answer their questions as best as you can, and allow them their scientific inquiries.
Some Hours Later
After enough data gathering, the group seem satisfied with what they’ve learned about you. Mostly they were interested in how the effects of Poison Joke changed you anatomy so much. With their minds sated, you finally decide to get some questions answered of your own.
You signal to Lyra, and present your notes of Megan.
Alright, either your tale has something to do with this cryptic 12 year old girl from the eighties, or there’s some other mystery human to add to the list.
As she looks over Twilight and your notebooks, she seems awestruck.
“A furless bipedal creature with a golden mane…” she mouths as the rest of you raise your brows.
“That’s…that’s exactly how my grandfather described it,” she says as she points to the child drawing picture. “In fact, I’m more than certain this is his drawing in this book…I never knew anypony had published it.”
“Well, this is a cryptozology book Lyra,” Lemon Hearts points out. “And a pretty old one at that.”
“Be that as it may, there’s nothing cryptic about it, Skeletor here is proof. Proof that my grandfather met one of his kind.”
You perk up at this and motion for her to continue in interest.
“He always told me that when he was a foal, he came across a crying figure near a stream in the White Tail woods. He said it was taller than his father by far, and it was unlike anything he had ever seen before. He was frightened at first…but the creature was so sad, he couldn’t help but be curious.”
She looks back down at the drawing in nostalgia.
“He said the creature cheered up when he neared and offered him tea, but he refused. He asked what it was, and it said it was a traveler, looking for someone.”
“Who was it looking for?” asks Twinkleshine.
“I don’t know. Grandpa didn’t know either. He said the creature confused him a lot when trying to explain. Something it said stuck with him though, because from then on he always called the creature The Rainbow Walker…”
Lyra looks at your intense face as you absorb the information.
Holy…how far does this rabbit hole go?
You then hold up the map in Twilight’s tome and Lyra nods.
“When Grandpa couldn’t find the creature again, he decided to prove he’d met it. He traveled a lot when he was older, looking for any clues or legends about the Walker…but he failed to find proof.”
Lyra then goes into her room and brings out a trunk which she starts to unlock.
“When he got even older, he instead focused his studies on Minotaurs, and was convinced the Rainbow Walker was the missing link between them and cows, but nopony believed him.”
She then looks at you in triumph. “But they will now!”
She then opens up the trunk and brings out an old worn Pink Bow.
“Before the Rainbow Walker said goodbye to my Grandpa and walked into the woods, it gave him this bow from it’s golden mane and told him to keep it safe for it. For three generations, nopony has been able to decipher what these intricate patterns are on it…but maybe you’ll know Skeletor.”
She hands you the pink ribbon and your eyes widen because you do know what those patterns are.
‘M.W.’
Megan Williams…
You can only stare at the pink ribbon in awe, thousands of thoughts flying in your mind. And for once none of them are Skeletor related. But one thought sticks out to you the most.
If Megan was here that long ago...then how come Celestia didn't know I was human? If Megan was around back when Lyra's grandpa when was a kid then how did she not know? Is she that good at staying hidden somehow?
You look back down at Twilight’s book, which according to Lemon Hearts is a Cryptozoology book.
That means this book is the equivalent of a book on Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster back home. But still, even the loneliest hermit living under a rock knows about Bigfoot, he’s an urban legend. So how come Celestia didn’t know? Is she playing me? Keeping secrets? Luna as Nightmare Moon didn’t know what I was, but she was mooned for a thousand years, what if…
You think back to the day you met the sun horse at the hospital. You were pained and groggy, but you thought you had a good read on her. Now?...
You then trace your hand over the drawing.
She said she didn’t know what I was, and Twilight couldn’t find anything aside from this book so maybe it is possible…or maybe she was being literal. What if she’d heard of Megan, but never met her or knew what she was? You think in panic.
Maybe she’d heard of the rumors and didn’t believe them before, but when I arrived she got curious? Is that really why she left me with Twilight? To see if there’s more to the rumors? Or what if this is all some big game and she’s just stringing me along?! AAAAAHHHH!!!
You groan in frustration over the conspiracy theories forming in your mind.
“Mr. Skeletor, is everything alright?” asks Lyra and you come out of your thoughts to see everyone looking at you in worry. From their perspective, you’ve been staring intently at the ribbon for awhile.
You nod to answer them and Lyra asks,
“Okay, but is it familiar? Do you recognize the markings?” You stare at her, and hit a crossroads.
What do I tell her? Yes? I can’t do that because I can’t explain in depth. I can’t say no, because that’d be a lie and would crush her dreams…
You then flip to your notepad and point to the word ‘Maybe.’
“Maybe?” she asks, a bit deflated, but not altogether down. You nod and the others write down notes in their own pads.
“So…it’s familiar to you, but you’re not sure?” she ventures.
You wave your hand in the maybe gesture.
“Oh…well even still, the fact that it’s familiar is more information than we had before,” she says optimistically.
You nod to this then stare at the ribbon a bit longer.
So you were here, whether anyone else knew or not. Who were you looking for? What else have you hidden? Are you still here…?
“Skeletor?” Lyra asks again in worry. You turn to her with a smile and hand back Megan’s ribbon before giving her head a pat, much to her embarrassment and her friends’ amusement. Noticing it’s getting late you draw a quick picture of the time and stand up.
“Oh, it is rather late,” Lyra agrees. “But if possible, do you think we can speak more later? I still think there might be more to this tale.”
You have no idea, you think as you give a nod.
You then all go through with your goodbyes, before you and Tina leave with the guards following suit. The whole time you do, one thought pervades your mind.
I...I have to find out more about this. I can’t end up stoned tomorrow, I just can’t!
SOMETIME LATER
As you, Tina, and the guards walk back to Twilights you start to look around. The town is totally different when it approaches night, and it gets a lot prettier as well. The fact that there's not as much scared ponies out by this time is an added bonus. As you look around you begin to think,
Allsmiles's Comment
I should really do something about Tina's spear before tomorrow. If tomorrow is my last day of freedom, then I should spend time helping others…just in case.
Thinking that though causes an epiphany to come to you.
Wait…helping others…Tomorrow, a bunch of Ocarina of Time fairies are going to devour the town and it’s resources. Pinkie’s gonna save the day sure, but I could use this to my advantage! I could ‘save’ ponies and their stuff from the little bastards, and maybe they’ll be less inclined to see me become a statue.
“He’s smiling weirdly again,” Foxtrot says to O’Carrol.
“Master Skeletor smile how he wants to pony,” Tina defends.
That’s right Beastwoman. This might be it! My last chance to get some brownie points with these stupid scared ponies. Whether Celestia is playing me in some game or not, I can’t let this quest end now! I just can’t!
You look at your minion and realize a spear would actually improve the fight against the parasprites.
There’s no chance of getting it away from Foxtrot, but I could make you one. All I need is a good stick and something to whittle it with. And failing that, I can play fetch with her. Dogs love sticks! It's foolproof! You smile at the thought and begin to look around for any sticks to use. Noticing a fallen branch outside the library you quickly snatch it up before anyone notices, and stealthily hide it in your poncho.
As you all walk through the front door, you see Twilight coming down the stairs.
“There you are, where have you been? It’s late.”
“Master talk with squeaky ponies about science,” Tina says bluntly confusing Twilight.
“Huh?”
“He spoke with a Ms. Lyra Heartstrings and her friends ma’am,” O’Carrol answers.
“Who?” Twilight asks causing you to raise a brow. You’re not the only one as Spike looks to her incredulously.
“Lyra? You’re old friend from Canterlot…You went to school together?” he says as if she should know.
“Oh…right…Lyra,” Twilight nods, clearly not remembering.
Wow, you really were a bad friend to them. No wonder Moondancer’s going nuts, you shake your head in disappointment.
“Well why were you doing science with her? I have to drag you kicking and screaming to do any kind of experiments with you,” she insinuates.
Because Lyra doesn’t try to jab with me needles, you think and wave her off.
“Well, regardless, get some rest Skeletor, tomorrow’s going to be a big day.”
You then notice two parasprites floating above her head and gulp.
It sure is…
SOMETIME LATER...AGAIN
Jaro45's Comment
We now find you next to a sleeping Tina staring at the ceiling after the last few hours. After being introduced to the two Navis, you convinced Spike to get out ice cream. You decided that if today's your last day for a meal, then it damn well better be ice-cream.
So the three of you chowed down on ice cream while your two guards and Twilight were off to the side, talking in hushed tones about something you couldn’t really care less about since the ice cream you were eating was just that good.
Plus the look on Tina's face when she first tried some Vanilla ice-cream (no chocolate for her) was just too adorable for you to notice anything else. Seriously it was like seeing your little sister trying it all over it again, and honestly it was one miracle you thought you'd never see again.
With one last look to Tina you think,
God dang it Beastwoman, you are far too adorable for your own good!
With that thought you fall asleep...And you regret it almost immediately.
Denneylaw's Comment
GotThisToLikeStorys's Comment
Dream Land
You sit upon your knees as you stare into Princess Celestia’s eyes, who has somehow grown as large as an Ursa Minor.
"Greetings Skeletor. I trust that all is well?"
Even in your dreams, you know you cannot answer, and an airy gasp leaves your lips.
"Creature, tell your mutt to give me my spear back!!!"
"No way, pony take my spear, so I take pony spear!!!"
Tina and Foxtrot run around in circles, causing destruction to the town, which is smaller than usual.
"You can't do that mutt!"
"Yes mutt can!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"Ugh!"
“Well, that does not seem well at all Skeletor. Not well at all…” the giant Celestia says with a frown.
Curse you, beastman, er woman!! I swear if this ends badly for me, I'll give it to you WAY WORSE than what will happen to me!! Also, stupid dog, you made me look bad...again!!!
All around the destroyed town, even smaller ponies walk out and look at you in anger and fear and point at you.
“It seems as though my ponies have spoken. You are far too chaotic to remain free. What were you thinking setting off fireworks inside the Wal-Mart?!” she chastises.
It was supposed to be a prank, I didn’t mean to set the clothes on fire, I swear! I’m sorry! You try to apologize but as you open your mouth, the hints of an annoyingly catchy song starts to come out.
“Heeeeaaa-“ you promptly shut your mouth with both hands in horror.
No, No, NO!!! you panic as you pull your hair down and see your hair has reverted back to yellow.
NOOOO! I was cured damn it! I WAS CURED!!!
“For your crimes He-Man, I sentence you to stoning, with unresolved side quests!” she booms.
I’m not He-Man! He-Man belongs in the trash! You can’t do this to me, I have so many questions still! You panic as you cower in a corner. The giant Celestia powers up her magic while all the ponies, and even Foxtrot and Tina cheer for your destruction.
I don’t want to go…not yet…
Before Giantlestia strikes you down, a blue wave of magic washes through, and everything around you starts turning into stardust.
Huh? You think as you look at your surroundings as a sense of peace comes to you.
How did…Wait a second, this is another Nightmare isn’t it? Does that mean…
You look up to the sky at the moon and see Luna again in her Woona form panting with effort.
"Thou's nightmares art both funny, and disconcerting my friend…" she shouts, her voice coming from very, very far away.
You look at her distant form and smile, giving her a big thumbs up. It’s hard to tell, but you think you see her smile back, right before she vanishes and the dream dissolves around you.
The Waking World
You wake up, and feel that you had sweat through your sheets during the Nightmare. Pulling your hair down, you see that it is your normal color, and no stupid song comes out of your mouth.
Stupid dreams. At least Luna’s got my back. But why is she always so far away? Can she not get closer? You wonder before you realize there is a heavy buzzing of wings. Looking around, you see Parasprites EVERYWHERE. On all the furniture, flying around, covering Tina like a blanket, etc.
Oh, right, these assholes, you think in annoyance. That means Twilight’s about to wake up and start running around like a chicken with her head cut off any second now.
And sure enough, you hear a commotion upstairs as Twilight wakes to the realization.
Sighing, you get out of bed and start stretching.
Whelp, time to hopefully get in some good graces by ‘Saving’ Town Ponies, you think as you walk into Twilight’s lab and grab your Havoc Staff. If these are my last hours, I’m going out having some fun…
WHAT DO YOU DO?
An explosion, without rhyme or reason.
Start putting up electric spike shields around houses. Parasprites hit'em and explode!
No, wait. CORROSIVE SPIKE SHIELDS!!!Bad idea! Bad idea! Bad idea! Shields, yes. Elemental shields, no. So much no.Don't forget to tell Spike not to use his dragonfire on them. Keep him out of trouble, and there's a chance he'll remember the debt he owes you. The little snot better.
If time and luck allow, ask Tia about a spell to help you communicate better. Last, hug Luna. She needs to know she has people rooting for her. Cake-flanks shouldn't have all the adulation.
The worst test ever? I.Q. tests. So many people pass them that just shouldn't.
When the bugs start devouring the flower trio's wares, they unsurprisingly pass out and moan on the ground, so you spring into action.
"AHH! The beast is here too! The Horror! The Horror!" Lilly bemoans while you blast the parasprites away.
"It's...it's saving our flowers?" Rose says in confusion and you give a thumbs up before bounding away.
"Ummm...Thank you?" they say unsuredly.
You better be you drama queens!
The fancy restaurant you spy is having all it's food eaten, so you run over and slap and punt several of the monsters, and make an effort to 'shield the ponies' you make yourself look more heroic.
You also help the Gym Ponies and Bulk Biceps defend their equipment, and save as many hot tubs at the Spa that you can, while ponies give you praise.
At some point, you snatch one of the puffballs from the air, and play fetch with Tina with it.
Hope Fluttershy doesn't see that one, you smirk as Tina ends up eating the thing.
This whole time, Foxtrot and O'Carrol watch your antics with dropped jaws.
"He's...he's trying to protect the citizens?" Foxtrot stammers.
"It seems so. If he saw this happening, then surely he'd do what he could to help," O'Carrol nods.
And for the final nail in the coffin, you run to defend Filthy Rich's grocery store, just to spite his wife.
Ok, time to go and-
But you were cut off as Pinkie tackled you to the ground. She must have been looking for you to try and ask to help her gather instruments, but than you noticed that, like with Rainbow before, you ended up accidentally kissing her instead.
Oh gosh darn it, is this gonna start becoming a thing with me now too, because I swear that, uh...
You were cut off again as you noticed that Pinkie is starting to turn red now, maybe, is she blushing?
Oh no, nonononono! We are NOT doing a ship fic here, I mean I like her, but not that way!! And even so, why WOULD she feel that way for me, especially after the many times I hit her in the head for??!!!
8914011
you're welcome.
You consider grabbing as many of the swarming pests as you can and jam them into a microwave.
You then discard this idea cause;
1. Fluttershy would NOT approve
2. Microwaves don't exist in Equestria anyway
===========
Grab a pair of flyswatters and try spinning around like Taz from Loony Toons only to end up making yourself dizzy enough to crash through a wall.
Use the havoc staff you obtained and use it to smack the little pests as you help search for instruments, after helping save the stuff in town from the pests but before the mighty Skeletor goes to aid his pink friend you should have a vision and show them .
"YOUUUUUUUUUU SHALLLLL NOTTTTTT PASSSSSSSSSSS!"you have Tina yell as you hit your havoc staff on the ground sending a shock wave of pure Skeletor might through each and every living and non living thing in a 10 mile radius, you even hear a timber wolf howl though faded and far away you can still hear it.
Than
8913855
Also worst test in my opinion would be a eye test.
8914649
And fireworks. Fire works too.
(“For your crimes He-Man, I sentence you to stoning, with unresolved side quests!” she booms.
That? That made me laugh, very fun. Also, yes, Tina is much too adorable a Beastwoman! Soooooo cuuuuuuuute! ... Also, a giant bone monster would be pretty metal. And worst test? Let's see... Insurance application forms. I'm not sure if that's technically a test, but asking me the same information over, and over, and over again? It certainly hits my top for worst paperwork thus far...)
Okay! So, Parasprite infestation, big problem, Twilight makes it worse, yada yada... The only thing you can really do in this case is attempt to get things to speed along a bit... Oh! Why don't you help Pinkie Pie collect the items she needs to make those Parasprites go bye-bye! They were a tuba, accordion, harmonica, banjo, and cymbals if I recall. Oh! And tambourine and... maracas? Did those come up?
Anyways, if you can help her get that done and the parasprites to leave early, then you may have enough time to whittle the branch into a proper spear/pointy stick for Tina before the princess arrives! And stones you! For eternity! ... Yeah, uh, you might want to get crackin on that spear-making thing if you want to give it to Tina in time.
I would say that Driving Tests can be pretty horrible if you get a horrible instructor.
No idea yet for the next chapter to add but I cannot wait to see what you do.
As it's usual for you in times of crisis, you go on a tangent.
I wonder if I can keep one of these parasprites and train it to be one of my minions? It could be really useful for subduing enemies! Yes, I can see it now, when He-Man comes, he shall face an endless swarm of adorable abominations! NYEEHHHH!!!
Sadly, you realize what the problem on that would be.
How would I keep these tiny monstrosities away frommy food though? Aargh! There's always gotta be a way it won't work! You shall be safe for now, He-Man, but mark my words, I will have an army of super powered minions go after your ass, and have them make you mute like me, so you can never sing that stupid tune again!!! NYYYEEEHHHH!!!
With the obligatory tangent over with, you notice how some of the parasprites have started clinging to your jaw, essentially giving you a beard of various colors.
...
AAAAHHHHHHH!!! GET THEM OFF!!! BEASTWOMAN, DO SOMETHING!!!!
You run around waving your arms and shouting 'NYEH!!!' as your BeastWoman tries to help, but can't get you to hold still so she can take the parasprites off. In you desperation, you decide to bang your head against a wall to make them go away.
CRASH
Well, the good news is that it worked, the parasprites flew away from your faces. The bad news is that you now have a bad headache. The worse news is that you put a hole in the wall.
...
This is your fault, Beastwoman! NYEH!!!
You run off to try and go back to your current quest. Defeat the tiny monsters!
As you walk around the town smacking pasparites with your staff, you realize that they are multiplying far faster that you can get rid of them.
"Curses!" You think. "I can't kill these pests fast enough. I need a better weapon or method."
Your mind immediately goes to the ever so perfect solution that is fire. Because fire has always solved major problems before. Then the image of Ponyville in flames cuts that solution short. You're supposed to be saving these ponies, not destroy them.
You shove that solution into your mental 'In case of sudden bout of Villiany and Wrongdoing' box, and remember that you were trying to find Pinkie, and you proceed to keep on searching for her, wacking at the bugs that keep on trying to eat your clothes.
The worst test I remember was something that used to be called CSAP. Don't know what it stood for, but they made us take it every year while I was in school, and it never actually did anything for your grade and stuff. It was supposed to be for seeing how well the students were doing. But the questions on it were so stupid, and don't get me started on the writing prompts.
One more last minute comment:
"wait a minute, if this really does function like the havoc staff, than this should also be employed for remote viewing as i read in Wikia online, so maybe I can simply just see where Pinkie is. Havoc staff, give me sight beyond sight."
You than curse yourself for using words from the wrong franchise before another thought comes to mind.
Wait a minute, why stop at just Pinkie, if this works, maybe I can use this to finally find that Megan girl, than finally get some answers."
You may not have gotten the results you were hoping for with the staff, due to your in-experience with it, (twilight's fault no doubt! You're off the hook This time Beast Man) so you have to make do helping pinkie as best you can.
You may not be a prodigy, or a forth wall breaking soul, but you have some experience with playing musical instruments, you're sure you could at least pick up a tuba or drum and play it with pinkie to help further gather all the flying hunger demons in one spot while she gathers the rest of the instruments.
Hey, maybe Tina can play a snare drum? If you're going to endear yourself to these ponies, why not get your henchdog endeared as well?
Run around, clapping your hands to an unseen beat.
Each clap crushes many parasprites.
All he REALLY has to do is STOP TWILIGHT FROM CASTING THAT STUPID SPELL! Seriously, it made the situation so much worse. Instead of eating food, they started eating everything ELSE.
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Twilight was REALLY luck she lives in a Kids Show back then, because "Everything Else" usually includes people to. So now? Fun times ahead.