You, a brony, are sent to Equestria. The problem is, you're now a mute...good luck!
You, a brony, are sent to Equestria. The problem is, you're now a mute so...good luck!
Yeah, let's hope you don't do anything too bad considering the whole mute thing
The decent comment driven story writing guy (me) is back! Let's all have a blast and have lots of laughs along the way of this new adventure! Try not to die though, cause people die when they are killed.
There are some days where you honestly think some divine being above is actively trying to make your life suck as much as possible. Like whatever divine being it is looked at earth, picked at random the one human out of six billion, and said,
"You know what? I'm going to make your life as frustrating and stressful as possible."
The multiple times it started raining on days where no rain was supposed to happen just when you got a date to some outdoors area. The time you caught that one sickness everybody gets right before your family vacation resulting in you being left behind. The time your long term relationship broke up with you...with a voicemail...on Valentine’s Day...
Needless to say today has been one of those days. Well...at least now it has been.
The day started off relatively fine, you did your usual morning routine and spent the rest of the day playing video games. Because honestly, what better way to spend the longest day in summer then to spend it indoors with no sunlight playing violent video games?
To those who believed you should have gone outside and enjoyed the sunshine with friends and family, you scoff at them and wonder about their sanity.
Anyway, it was just a normal day...till suddenly you passed out for no reason right in the middle of a cutscene. You'd chalk it up to lack of sleep or boredom if it weren't, you know, day time and an awesome game.
When you come to, you find yourself staring at a decrepit ceiling with holes in it. As soon as you see this you quickly get up in a panic hoping that the roof was just a hallucination (you get those sometimes).
But sadly for you it looks like it wasn't as you find yourself in some decrepit hallway that for some reason looks vaguely familiar to you. But you push that feeling of familiarity in exchange for panicking over your new found location, and your lack of clothing aside from your underwear (Your usual gaming attire). And what better way to panic then by shouting your lungs out?
"!!!!!!....????"
Instead of your usual girly shouts (which even though you’re a dude you admit your screaming is unprecedentedly high pitched) all that comes out of your mouth is...well, practically nothing. A ghost of a scream, condensed into a shallow, airy almost grunt.
What the hell? You try to exclaim in confusion, only for your eyes to widen even more in shock as absolute nothing comes out your mouth, despite you lip movements.
What? Hey! Hello! HELLO!!! You try to speak, but you can’t.
Your eyes widen in fear as you grip your throat in panic as you think,
My voice! What the hell happened to my voice?! Why can't I talk!? Where the hell am I!? JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!?!
Even though you can’t scream you still panic by waving your arms widely and running around in circles like a headless chicken. Eventually you run out of energy and slow down to a stop. As you hunch over gasping for air you try to calm yourself down and assess the situation.
Okay, so clearly I’ve been kidnapped and brought to some sort of…ancient castle or something, and not only has this kidnapper stolen my voice but my clothes as well…or was I not wearing them in the first place? I hope it was the latter,
You shiver at that mental image of the former as you look around for said kidnapper, but the darkness doesn’t give up any clues.
I’m fine, I’m fine… I’m almost naked and I can no longer talk, but that's fine, everything is okay. You reassure yourself with a gulp. I just...need to find my way out of here. Then find civilization...and then a God damn police station! Yes officer, I’d like to report a kidnapping, and theft of my vocal chords. How the heck did they even manage that? Maybe this is a delayed reaction to when I took that dare to eat that Carolina Reaper whole. I swear to God, if that’s what happened I’ll...
After that thought, and swearing vengeance against all Ghost Chilies, you take a few deep breaths and begin to explore...wherever the hell you are as you mind your bare footing in the darkness.
A FEW MINUTES LATER
How long was I passed out? It’s already night time and there’s no forests near my house! And there sure as hell isn’t ancient castles!
Okay this ancient castle, which you have proven was in-fact where you were after taking a peek out a window, makes absolutely no sense, and yet it is giving you a major case of déjà vu.
Backing away from the window, you continue into the stone structure, and each step you take, you get more and more creeped out. Everywhere you look it's either spider webs, destroyed paintings, ruined vases, and you swear you’re being watched by something.
I swear if some Scooby Doo villain starts chasing me...
The strangest thing is, from what you can tell from the mostly destroyed art and statues, is that most of them depict an equine of some kind.
Huh. Well if I’m somehow in a castle straight out of merry old England, then maybe there used to be Knights on these horses. Though why did they crumble and not their noble steeds? You contemplate as you look at even more artifacts, each one containing a horse of some kind.
Or maybe the owner of this place just really liked horses. And why do they have wings and horns? I thought Alicorns were made up by My Little Pony…unless these were the basis for them. Huh, guess that makes Medieval Knights the original Bronies.
Ah yes, My Little Pony. You were always a big fan of cartoons since you were a kid. Even now in your late teens you enjoy toons more than cheesy dramas or sports. That doesn't mean you didn't watch awesome shows like The Flash or Psych, but you honestly just preferred cartoons over real life shows.
Now being more likely to watch a cartoon, and being a fan of MLP, didn't really help you much in the popular crowd, but you figured it was their loss. If those snobby kids didn't want to be your friend cause you watched a show about rainbow ponies and friendship then who needs them?!
Actually...now that I think about it…You mutter as a ridiculous thought comes to your head. Ah who am I kidding? This isn’t the castle from the first episode, that’s impossible. Besides, this is all real, not a cartoon. More than likely this kidnapper is a sick weirdo that likes the show and who wants to skin me alive…I think I’d prefer impossible…
Gulping in fear, you cautiously resume your journey, keeping your eyes peeled for possible serial killers when you come across a fallen banner.
What the? What language is that? Are those even words? You think as you look over the strange looking scribbles stitched into the old cloth. You are about to pick the banner up and wrap it around your practically naked self when suddenly.
“AHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!” a dark evil laugh echoes across the entire castle causing your hair to stand up on in.
OH SCREW THIS!!! You wordlessly shout as you decide to forgo the cautious route in favor of the, ‘Get The Hell Out Now’ Route. Your feet hate you for it as you step on all the loose rubble, but you’ll apologize to them later.
Oh God, Oh God, Oh God! I’m in a freaking horror movie! I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die! You panic as you rush down a hallway and slam into a very large intimidating door, and enter into an open moonlit room lined with mirrors.
Your panicked run comes to halt however as, despite your dread, you become mesmerized by what’s in the center of the room.
No...no way!
Before you is an ornate pedestal, and upon it sits five, very familiar stone spheres.
You feel yourself drawn to the spheres as you slowly walk over to the pedestal. When you finally reach it you automatically grab one of them off their resting place. You breathe out at the heavy weight, but you manage to hold it with a decent grip. You can't help but stare at the faded jewel in the sphere as it finally hits you of where you are.
This...these...the Elements of Harmony!? Bu...but that means either this kidnapper is an extreme psychopathic fanboy or…
*GASP*
You suddenly get the strangest feeling that you shouldn't be holding this Element of Harmony anymore as you hear six female voices gasp in unison.
Nervously, you turn around and your jaw drops.
How…What?...
The six cartoon horses whom you've watched on your TV for so long stand in front of the other door to this room, and their mouths are just as slack in confusion as yours is.
I’m just seeing things again. I can’t be in a cartoon…I can’t!
Your grip loosens and the Element Orb falls from your grip as it bounces down the pedestal steps and onto the stone ground where it shatters.
CRAP! You mentally shriek as the 6 Equines all shout in anguish, shock and loss at the broken orb.
I…but…You mentally ramble at what’s just happened.
"What Have You Done?!" comes the pissed off voice of Tara Strong.
Reluctantly you look up at the Equines who look all too real with the looks they’re giving you.
You’re pretty sure Twilight is trying to melt you with her glare, Rarity is on the verge of fainting, Rainbow Dash is gritting her teeth so hard they might crack, Fluttershy shudders behind her Pegasus friend, Applejack looks completely flabbergasted, and Pinkie is giving you a look that just screams “Why Would You Do That?”.
It was an accident! I swear! I…Oh…you stop trying to speak as no sound escapes.
Oh this isn’t good…
However neither you or the soon to be Elements (Or Maybe Not) make any move. You both just stare at each other...and stare...and stare...and stare...
...
...
...
You have a distinct feeling that this will happen often
You have just broken one of the Elements of Harmony, The Mane 6 are glaring at you, you’re in a dark spooky castle, you’re mute, and you’re in your underwear.
As the full force of what just happened finally hits you, you can't help but wonder just what deity hates you so much to make this happen. You also question just how unlucky you are for not only breaking an Element of Harmony on accident, but to do so in front of the six ponies who represented them.
You honestly would have gone on a tangent about this in your mind if you didn't remember that you have six very angry ponies in front of you who will more then likely pummel you into submission if you don't diffuse the situation right now.
With that in mind you do the first thing that comes to your head. You...
Wave at them seeing their unamused faces slowly back away try running for the door but before you get there the door shut by purple glow
Harness your inner skeletor wave your arms about in a wild fashion while trying to yell about He man
Wave your arms about wildly with a toothy sneer while attempting to say,
You Cannot Hope To Stop Me You Fools! I Have To Defeat He-Man! Nnnnyyyyeeehhh!!!
You were hoping that by showing that you are semi-intelligent they wouldn't outright attack you and instead try to talk, or rather in your case do charades, about the situation. Unfortunately, in your panic, you channeled the Lord of Snake Mountain, evil laughing and all (Not That They Could Hear It).
Your hopefulness is quickly squashed into paste by the very unamused faces on the ponies. Clearly showing that you're semi-intelligent with a hammy sneering face right after destroying their one hope of defeating any and all evil beings had the opposite effect on them that you were hoping for.
NO! Curse My Skeletor Complex!This always gets me into trouble! Just like the Walmart Incident! you lament, thinking over the many times you spoke in a high pitched nasally voice at the worst of times.
However before you can even think about making a run towards the door, Rainbow Dash suddenly breaks the silence that has been going on with your little staring contest with the ponies.
You are accused of working for Nightmare Moon/being Nightmare Moon in disguise, and Twilight attacks thinking that the end of the world is nigh. Dodging out of the way of her magic spell, another Orb gets destroyed.
"What is this thing Twilight!?"
Twilight just glares at your semi-naked form in pure anger as she answers,
"I don't know Rainbow, but what I do know that this creature must have been sent to destroy the Elements of Harmony! The only pony who would want that has to be NIGHTMARE MOON!"
Your eyes widen at the accusation and, while the other ponies gasp, you just think in panic,
Wha-! Me work for Nightmare Moon! Lady I didn't even think she was real an hour ago, how the hell would I be working for her!? Then again I did just accidentally destroy an Element of Harmony and act like Skeletor so...
Your thoughts are interrupted as Twilight suddenly sends a blast of magic your way. Your eyes widen as you think/'say',
OH HELL! MAGIC! DUCK AND COVER!
You do just that and dive out of the way, and the magic blast just misses you. However before you can even sigh in relief you see the blast of magic hit one the Elements in your stead. Yours and the ponies' jaws drop as the sphere is sent flying into the wall and shatters.
"NOOO!!!" Twilight screeches as she grips her face in horror.
Glancing at the shocked ponies you can't help but feel like if you could still chuckle nervously you would. Instead, all you manage is a nervous gulp.
“Watch where you’re shooting Sugarcube! There’s only three of them things left!” Applejack says.
“I know, I know!” Twilight says panicked. “That thing made me miss!” Magic then starts to form around her horn again.
God Dang it He-Ma- I mean Twilight. Curse you and your magic! There has to be some way to defuse this situation...!
Suddenly you get an idea as you…
Point to Fluttershy, gesturing her over to you. (use puppy dog eyes at need)
Quickly throw your arms out in the classic 'Stop! Whoa! Whoa!' motion. You closed your eyes while doing so in fear of more magic being flung your way regardless of your gesture.
“Um, I think it doesn’t want you to shoot it,” Pinkie points out causing you to open your eyes.
“Of course it doesn’t want her to shoot it, who would?” Rainbow snarks.
Even still, you put your hands up, without waving them this time and give them your best panicked and scared look.
“Perhaps this vicious brute is attempting to explain himself?” guesses Rarity, to which you nod furiously.
The glow around Twilight’s horn is still there, but she hasn’t fired and is giving you an inquisitive look.
“Alright, Explain Then!” she growls.
You can't help but sigh in relief as you think,
Oh thank God that worked! Now let’s just hope this next part works just as well.
With that thought you point over to Fluttershy, causing said pony to eep in fear. Ignoring the ponies deepened looks of suspicion you make a come here gesture. In hindsight picking the most timid pony to do this isn't the smartest of plans, but in your defense you figured she'd be more likely to come over since you’re a new animal to them.
However when she doesn't move you decide to get desperate. You muster up the best puppy dog eyed look you can think of, and while you’re sure your sister (and any female or adorable creature really) has you beat by a long run, you can't help but feel like your look was pretty good.
It does get Fluttershy to start walking towards you, albeit very nervously and shakily, so that must mean something. Of course you can't stop the swell of curses flowing out in your mind when Twilight pulls her back.
“No Fluttershy! It’s too dangerous!” she declares.
“Oh…right…” Fluttershy concedes before Twilight affixes you a glare.
“I won't have you corrupting Fluttershy with your hypnotizing gaze Servant of Nightmare Moon!"
You honestly can't keep your brow from rising at that.
Hypnotizing gaze...really? That has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard, what am I a vampire?
Facepalming you shake your head, before looking down and noticing the dust made from the shattered Element Orb.
You then gesture to the dust as you get down to it and start writing.
‘It was an accident; I’m not a servant of Nightmare Moon. Please don’t-‘
“Cut That Out!” Twilight shouts as a blast of magic hits near your foot, causing you to jump back in surprise.
“What the heck was it doing?!” asks Rainbow Dash.
“I don’t know! I’ve never seen those symbols before. It must be trying to make a spell with the remains of the Element!” Twilight theorizes.
Never seen…? You’re speaking English right now!...Aren’t you? You think in confusion before remembering the symbols on the banner you found.
Oh come on! You stamp your foot, and it looks like the ponies are about to charge you when you hold up your stop gesture again.
Okay, I have one last shot at this. Please work, Please Work.
Fortunately you know a little bit of Sign Language from recently going to a triple-feature of the Planet of the Apes reboot trilogy. Unfortunately this just makes things worse as Ponies don't have hands and assume you're casting some dark spell.
You quickly sign out in ASL,
'Stop' 'Me' 'Friend'
A few months ago, you had decided to learn some sign language after going to a triple-feature of the Planet of the Apes reboot trilogy. You figured that if apes ever did take over the planet via humans messing with nature when they shouldn't (again), then it would be helpful to tell your new primate overlords that you were not an evil human. Yes you have skewed priorities, but here you are now, in a situation very similar to what you prepared for.
But of course, in this scenario, you overlooked one important detail…these are ponies not apes.
Basically they have no idea what hands are (well besides maybe Lyra if Fanon was to be believed), so they would have no idea what sign language is nor would they understand it. So while you try to say the classic 'I come in peace' sign the unnerved ponies react accordingly.
"Twilight what in the hay is that thing doing with it’s…uh, claws?" asks Pinkie Pie.
"It must be trying to cast some sort of dark magic spell on us with the spell it wrote in the Element's remains. Quickly girls we have to stop it!"
Your eyes widen in panic as you quickly swing your arms back and forth in the negative fashion, but it’s no use as the ponies continue to charge at you. Knowing that negotiations have broken down, and you’re going to be subject to some murder magic from Twilight and Co, among other things, you decide to do what any person in this situation would do.
Run for you life!
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
Curse You He-Man!!!
You turn around, bust open the door you came in from just as Twilight tried to close it, and run like a b***ch down the hall, making a mad dash for the other side of...well anywhere away from the mares.
After the third step a purple bolt flies by your head, singeing your hair.
"Get back here!" You hear Twilight yell.
You redouble your efforts, and your attention is drawn to one of the mirrors near the end of the hall. You're not sure why, but you get the idea that maybe one of these mirrors could secretly be a door to another dimension. Hey, who ever said that there was only the one from Equestria Girls? With this Completely Logical Conclusion in mind, you aim at one of the mirrors, and run straight towards it. New world here you-
*CRASH!*
Or it could just be a completely normal mirror. You think in pain as you crash through it and tumble down some stairs.
After you reach the bottom, you groan and look down at your now lacerated body from the obviously stupid decision you have made. Shards of the mirror are now stuck in your upper body, legs, and arms. Though your feet and face have been spared, it is still extremely painful and you are also bleeding profusely. As the pain registers, you curl up on the floor and start screaming silently, of course curling up shoves the shards deeper in your body, making it even more painful.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh No, No Cute Magical Girls, Just Pain!
After you finally calm down and uncurl you realize that while the mirror didn't lead to an alternate world, it did however lead to a secret room, which explains the stairs you fell down. The place is somehow even more decrepit than the castle, as evidence by the giant hole in the middle of the room.
After painfully getting up you see the mares galloping down the stairs, apparently you being injured isn't enough for them to stop chasing you. Seeing no way out of the secret room you back up, more of a limp with all the glass, till your at the very edge of the hole.
The ponies enter the secret room, and you can see Twilight smiling smugly as she says,
"We have you now creature! Wait a minute why are you covered in-"
Not noticing Twilight's confused look or question you quickly preform the last thing you can think of to save you from your untimely demise...
Perform a Dogeza!
You bow before your dearest pony overlords, head pressed into the ground, hoping with every fiber of your being that your extraordinary display of servitude and apology will ease their rage. You get the shit kicked out of you.
You call forth your inner Undertale fanboy and preform a Dogeza!
You bow before your dearest pony overlords, head pressed into the ground, hoping with every fiber of your being that your extraordinary display of servitude and apology will ease their rage. It hurts like hell with all the glass pressing into you, but you ignore it in favor of survival.
"Nice Try Pal!" Rainbow growls as she lands in front of you and lifts your head head up menacingly with another hoof cocked. Compared to you, the Ponies are a little bigger than a dog, but even smaller dogs can mess you up.
"Tell us how to fix the Elements or I'll knock your block off!" she snarls, and spit flies into your eye.
AH! Horse Spit! It's in my eye! Ew! Ew! Ew! You panic as you throw your hands up to your face and accidentally slap Rainbow back.
"Don't you push me you chump!" she says indignantly as she gives you a shove back...which she realizes a little too late was a bad move as your body leaves the tender love of the ground.
bestiebest's Comment
There is a momentary feeling of weightlessness, before you suddenly feel the air rushing as you fall into the hole below. You wish you can give a cry of fear, but as usual all there is silence. As you fall you can't help but think,
Dang...300 deja vu much?
The last thing you hear the ponies say before you fall too far to even see them is Twilight shouting,
"Rainbow!"
With that they disappear from your sight and you continue to fall.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Thankfully for you the author-I mean whatever deity above that made your life hell isn't heartless as you find yourself landing on a bed, though this does serve to double the pain of the glass in your body. Groaning, you get up and try to ignore the pain from the glass as you look around.
Looks like that hole led to a basement...at least all the old furniture suggest that. Whatever, at least I'm away from those crazy ponies.
As much as you want to hate them for attacking you, you know they were sorta justified for it. If you saw some strange creature destroy the key to your world's salvation you would probably attack it too.
Now if only I had my freaking voice so I could actually sort things out! Now some of my favorite characters hate me...Sigh...
Grumbling over this you realize that Rainbow has wings, and will use them, and that the hole isn't going to save you from her, so you limp out of the room and into a hallway. Closing the door behind you, you feel your way along the dark tunnel, until you come to another room with a lit torch.
By The Power of Grey Skull! You think happily, before your brain can register why there would be a torch down here. As you limp closer to the light, you notice a mirror, and learning your lesson, you don't jump through it. Rather, you look at your damaged body.
There is plenty of cuts and blood over your chest, arms and legs. You look as though you just came out of a Zombie movie.
Oh Jeeze, I gotta get this glass out and get some bandages on these. Maybe I could use the sheets on that bed...
You trail off on your medical attention plan as you notice a pair of draconic blue eyes behind you in the mirror.
"Well Well Well. What do we have here?" comes the dark feminine voice you heard laughing in the hallway earlier.
Gulping in fear, you realize exactly who this is.
And then Nightmare Moon happens.
If Nightmare Moon shows up, pray to Celestia for guidance. Hope she isn't snarky.
The Mare in the Moon, Nightmare Moon Herself!
Oh Dear God, Celestia, Hasbro, or whoever's listening! Please tell me this isn't happening, and if it is please tell me she's just a cliché villain and not a snarky clichéd villain!
Face to mirror with Nightmare Moon, you can't help but wonder just what you can do to save yourself.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
Episode 2: I Shall Pledge My Allegiance to the Moon! ...For Convenience Sake
As you stare into the Nightmare Queen's eyes you can't help but gulp in fear as you think...
Knowing that Nightmare Moon is... Nightmare Moon, and not Princess Luna, you run. But, you've already run quite a bit, and have glass all over you, so you don't run very fast, allowing Nightmare to catch you with a spell.
Considering this is Nightmare Moon and not everybody's true favorite princess, there is only one thing I can do to avoid death, dismemberment, or any other painful situation befalling on my very vulnerable body...
You start to very slowly side step away from the crazy princess, making sure to keep eye contact with her at all times. As soon as you are away from the mirror and can no longer see her eyes you do the most logical thing...
You book it towards the door while 'shouting,'
YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE NIGHTMARE!
You wish you could have gone in the other direction, but considering Nightmare was right behind you, you didn't have much of a choice. Hopefully if you were lucky she'd leave you alone and wouldn't chase after you.
As you burst through the door to the hallway and shut it behind you, you can't help but let out a sigh of relief.
Phew....I thought for a second there I would have to deal with that crazy prin-
*FLASH*
...cess oh come on!
Standing before you know via teleport is the queen of the night in all her armored glory. She stares down at you intently as she says,
"Where art thou manners? To run from your princess is...rude."
As she glares at you, your life flashes before your eyes. While the Mane 6 were about the size of dogs, she is at your chest level, and that horn is at the perfect height to go into your eye. You press yourself into the door in fear, once again enacting pain via the glass in your skin.
“Now strange creature, introduce thy self to me, for I have seen thy actions above and they…interest me…”
Sweating nervously at her “interest” in your actions, you decide to let her know about your condition right off the bat to avoid any more misunderstandings.
Indicate your throat, attempt to speak. (ham it up for effect at need) Adopt a pleading expression, hope Nightmare will take pity on you, and not delight in your suffering.
You adopt a sad/scared face, which seems to please her, as you start moving your mouth.
I can’t speak. My voice is gone!
For emphasis, you slap your throat while ‘saying’ this, then shrug your shoulders and shake your head.
After lifting an eyebrow, Nightmare Moon suddenly comes to the realization of what you’re saying.
“Ah, thou has no voice to call thy own?”
Nodding furiously, you adopt a smile and point at her to let her know she’s right on the money.
Yes! Thank You! Finally someone notices!
With this realization, she frowns.
“Mute…well that complicates things…” she trails off in thought.
No. No it doesn’t complicate things! You think nervously. You don’t want to know what she’ll do to someone who’s complicating things. But thankfully a lightbulb chimes above your head.
Greatness942'a Comment
Before Nightmare Moon can do anything unsightly, you suddenly come up with a plan. You quickly push back your fear in favor of enacting your plan as you get off the door and stare down the crazed princess.
Nightmare Moon looks slightly surprised at this, but before she does anything you hold your hands out in front of you and point at her horn. Before she can ask what you're doing, you point to your own temple and do that back and forth a few times.
Surprisingly, she gets it.
“Thou wishes me to delve into thy mind for communication?”
You nod furiously once more.
Smirking she says,
“Very well then creature. Thou shall have the privilege of the true ruler of Equestria viewing thy personal thoughts.”
Her horn glows, and a magic aura surrounds your head.
Alright, Awesome! Can you hear me? If you can, I just want to say that I don’t know how I came here, and that I didn’t mean to break anything. I’ll just walk away if you’ll let me. You think these words loud and clear, putting emphasis into them so that there’s no way she can’t hear them.
The reaction upon her face though confuses you.
“Wh…wha…? I…I don’t even…?” she sputters in confusion, giving you a really, really disturbed and flabbergasted look.
Because while you are concentrating on these words, all she sees is
The force in your mind cuts out, and when you look at the princess she is naturally very confused, as are you.
What? What is it? You mouth and motion with your hands.
"I saw...something with a boney face dancing to a strange tune and screaming ‘Nyeh!’”
Huh?
“That spell is supposed to read one’s inner most thoughts and desires…is…is that your true self?” she asks in confusion.
You concentrate on what she’s said, and the image she saw pops into your head.
…Damn My Obsession! You groan. You then think to deny your true self being a cheesy 80’s cartoon villain…but… you really do think about denying it but...
Ehh, you mouth as you give a maybe hand wave. Hey, if you’re gonna have a true self Persona style, it might as well be him, and it’s not like you can communicate very well if she can’t read your mind.
"Rrrriiiigggghhhhttt..." Nightmare Moon trails off raising an eyebrow.
Well this isn't awkward at all....wow I made an evil crazed princess feel awkward. That's off the bucket list at least.
Yeah...you have a strange bucket list. It’s filled to the brim with weird things that you could never possibly hope to do, but you needed to write down something.
And maybe’s it’s for the best that she can’t actually read your mind.
For one you did not want the bad guy to have access to any human weapons that she could recreate with magic. You do not want to be responsible for Equestria's first magical nuke.
But more damning would be if she found your memories of the show...or worse the fandom! Nightmare Moon is already insane enough, if she were to find out her entire life was planned out from day one by a bunch of humans and that she was supposed to lose...well you really don't wanna deal with that existential crisis.
Anyway, noticing that Nightmare is still just staring at you awkwardly you decide to...
Pledge yourself to the Moon! Either the world will right itself and you have influence with a purified Luna, or shit goes whack and you have a chance serve as a Blade of the Darkmoon in a kingdom of eternal night. Might as well, shit already looks bad!
Kneel before Nightmare Moon. Make it clear you mean no harm. Pray to Murphy, 'cause you're gonna need the help.
ROLL FOR CHARISMA!
Kneel before Zo-Nightmare Moon in a show of allegiance. You figured you might as well go all out and turn up the charisma, and what better way than by performing some form of respect before your new overlord? In this case you kneel like a knight, through it hurts like hell considering all the glass still in your body.
I mean worst case scenario I help make sure Nightmare doesn't go full blown evil tyrant somehow as a Blade of the Darkmoon in a kingdom of eternal night. Best case scenario I have Luna as back-up when she gets turned good again...hopefully, you theorize as you strain to keep a straight face from the pain.
Oblivious to your thoughts Nightmare Moon grins evilly.
"A show of loyalty! Well aren't thou a true solider,” she coos, giving you goosebumps. “Though I suspected as much after witnessing the destruction of two of the Elements of Harmony, but now I’m convinced. I may not know thy origins or mind, but thou art truly a Soldier of the Night. Thanks to your arrival, our victory is achieved!” She then cackles maniacally and you let out a sigh of relief that she wants you to aid her in her take over the world plan instead of killing you.
“Now rise my mysterious soldier. Rise so that I may know thee better!"
As you start to stand back up, you wince in pain as the glass shifts, something Nightmare Moon takes notice of.
"Thou art wincing, show us what is causing our loyal subject pain at once!"
Loyal subject? You are far too trusting lady. You'd think being trapped on the moon for a thousand years by your sister would lead to trust issues, but I guess not.
Nodding you...
BrownDog's Comment
Show off the glass sticking out from your body, and the blood flowing from the wounds, she lights up her horn and she and you see it even more clearly.
That's...that's a lot of blood! How the hell haven't I passed out yet?!
"Hmmm...tis astonishing, with so much blood lost yet thou remains conscious. But that just proves your potential as a soldier to endure so long. Do not worry loyal subject, we shall remove these shards from your body post-haste!"
You roll your eyes at this as you think,
Again with the loyal subject stuff. Lady you just met m-OH SWEET JESUS PAIN! SO MUCH PAIN!
Almighty Alicorn that she is, Nightmare is still a villain it seems as she follows the Band-Aid line of logic of 'pull it out quick with no mercy.' Except in this case its glass shards and not a Band-Aid, and it’s all over your body, so the pain was about ten times as...well painful.
Along with the pain comes the rushing of blood, but before you can even panic you hear the ripping of cloth and the next thing you know your wounds are wrapped via tore bed sheets as bandages. As they wrap around you, you notice the midnight colored aura surrounding them and look at Nightmare in confusion.
The queen of the night simply scoffs at your look as she says,
"We shall not let our solider die from simple glass cuts nor blood loss. Be thankful your queen is so merciful as to help treat thy wounds."
You decide to just take her word for it as you notice the pile of bloody shards on the ground. There were a lot more than you realized stuck in your body.
How was I even moving? Pure adrenaline I guess, but that’s still a lot!
After a few more moments it appears Nightmare is done dressing your wounds. Looking over them you notice how almost your entire upper body is wrapped, and so are most of your arms up to your hands, and your legs down to your calves. Looking over your now dressed wounds, you give her a thankful bow to which she chuckles darkly at.
“Yes. Give thanks to thy beloved ruler. Now that your wounds have been dressed, we must find something for thou to wear as a symbol of your loyalty to us. Surely there must be some of our old attire around this decrepit place that should work despite your strange shape."
With that said Nightmare begins to look around the room in search of something for you to wear. As she does your eyes travel back to the pile of glass shards reflecting in her magic’s light. Some are as small as pebbles, and yet some are a few inches in length, and boy are you glad you didn’t land on those when you hit that bed. You look back and forth between the queen of the night and the shards before you finally sigh and think,
Oh screw it!
With that you…
If all else fails shiv her with the mirror-glass, preferably whilst she's not looking, and leg it like the terrifying mother of all things dark and evil was chasing you.
Quickly grab a sharp shard and hide it behind your back. You nervously look towards Nightmare in fear that she saw you, but it appears she is still looking for that 'symbol of loyalty' for you.
Phew....close one, you sigh in relief. As much as I don't wanna shank everyone's favorite princess, you can never be too careful. At least if she tries anything I can cut and run for it.
Unlikely as it is, but hey you never know.
With this plan of action in place, you hear her say,
“Aha! Perfect.” She then comes back towards you…
BrownDog's Comment
Holding up in her magic an old banner with the moon on it. One moon at the top and one at the bottom. It isn't as big as the other banners you saw in the hallways, if you’re being honest it looks more like a large flag. Before you can think too much on the difference between flags and banners, there is a sudden flash of light and the next thing you know you are wearing the banner poncho style.
Looking over yourself you see that the moon is both on your front and back, so it looks like she did some magic to make a hole right in the center of it for your head.
You hear the former mare in the moon chuckle darkly as she says,
"Perfect! With this banner all will know your sworn allegiance to the true ruler of Equestria! NIGHTMARE MOON!"
Dang that was loud! You wince, rubbing your ears. Hopefully the Mane 6 didn't hear tha-
*Gasp*
Your eyes widen as you and Nightmare look down the hall to see Rainbow staring at you both in shock. Before you can even do anything she lets out a screech and starts to fly back to the other room and up the hole. You stand there for a few seconds before face-palming.
I just had to think that didn't I?! Now they'll think I'm evil for sure!
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
Nightmare Moon turns her attention back to you. "Yes, quite frustrating those mares have become. All night they’ve been relentless,” she mistakes your frustration. “Come, If you are to serve me properly, you need a weapon to assist you in your duties."
You motion back to where Rainbow fled, giving a questioning look.
"Those mares?" she scoffs, "While they are a threat, it is not an immediate one any more, thanks to your actions. Still, they are a nuisance, so let us get you equipped." There's a bright flash and you feel incredibly disoriented for several seconds.
As your eyes adjust from being blinded you look around to see that you are now in a completely different room. Your eyes widen as you see a variety of weapons from swords, to axes, spears, and everything in between.
There are enough weapons here for an entire army! You gasp in admiration as you set the shard of glass down, knowing that there are upgrades incoming. As you admire at the plethora of weapons, you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn to see Nightmare Moon looking at you.
"Here," she says, "This should suffice for now." She levitates a scepter with a ram's head on top of it over to you. You carefully take it from her, a cold shiver goes through your body as you interact with her magic.
You look at the scepter in your hands, trying to keep yourself from cackling manically, and failing.
She just gave me the Havoc Staff! No freaking way! I really am Skeletor! And all those therapists said I was delusional! Who’s delusional now?! NYEH!!! You rant as you hold the staff and tears come to your eyes.
Nightmare smiles darkly at this before she says,
"I thought this might suit you after viewing your inner self images. This mighty staff once belong to the dark wizard Grogar who tormented Equestria long ago. But we and our...sister destroyed the miserable creature and banished him to Tartarus. Now thou shall use it to lead our armies to glory!"
Completely ignoring the whole 'lead armies to glory' part you focus more on the fact that this isn't the Havoc Staff. It’s similar looking sure, but…
Awwww....Man this sucks. I thought I'd achieved nirvana! I thought my dreams had finally been realized! You lament, before determination comes to your eyes. Screw it, from now on, this IS the Havoc Staff, Copyrights be damned! It’s a much cooler name than Grogar’s Staff ...Wait a minute that goat guy from Gen 1 was canon?!
Your ramblings go unnoticed as Nightmare Moon continues to speak.
"Thou should be able to utilize basic magic with this," she instructs. "Levitation, magic bolts of varying nature, and a shield. It will respond to your will as to which thou wants to use. Tis a shame thou cannot speak, otherwise thou could use this to it's utmost ability. Go ahead and try it."
You nod excitedly at the chance to use actual magic as you turn and point the staff at a wall…and there you freeze.
Crap! You start freaking out. I have no idea how to use magic!
You take a deep breath. Okay, stay calm. She said it responds to my will, so I just need to will it. You narrow your eyes at the target. You shall not be defeated by this enemy! You shall defeat He-Man!
*ZAP*
Nightmare Moon cackles at the now three foot hole in the wall you have caused.
"While I am impressed at your skill, please restrain yourself. I plan on living here, and I don't want these mares killed just yet."
You just stare at the hole in awe as you raise your staff in the air and start pumping it like a Tusken Raider.
YYYEEESSS!!! I just used Magic! Suck It Harry Potter! You ain’t got s#!t on me! This is the greatest day of my-Wait! What did she just say?!
Her words finally hit you and you look over to her in shock, to which she just chuckles darkly.
"While thou is a loyal solider, it shall be I who ends the lives of those pitiful mares. My sister’s pitiful student and her friends will be executed before the country, and this will once and for all prove that THE NIGHT SHALL NEVER GIVE WAY TO THE SUN AGAIN! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
You just stare at the crazy pony in fear as lightning crashes somewhere.
What the hell? She wants to kill them?! What happened to the show’s PG rating?! I...I can't let her kill them!
Before you can act on your thoughts, her face suddenly contorts to one of horror as she yells,
"What!?! No! No! NOOOOO! Even while broken, she gathers them together!”
She then teleports right of the room, leaving you alone in the room with your staff in hand.
Oh yeah, that’s great, just leave me alone in the dark why don’tcha? Freaking kill crazy Luna…Wait, does that mean Twilight’s still trying to activate the Elements even though I broke them? I guess it could work since they got broken by Nightmare Moon in the show…Aw crap.
You realize where she’s headed, so you use the newly installed hole in the wall which seems to be more of a punched out hole rather than an outright destroyed one as you gingerly step through the displaced bricks with your bare feet.
So I didn’t so much as kaboom it as I punched it with my mind…Still, AWESOME!* You smile before you get your head back on track to finding the Mane 6.
Alright, it was somewhere upstairs. AJ, Pinkie and the rest came up some stairs when Twilight got her epiphany!
After a few minutes of frantically busting down doors, running up stairs, and running down hallways (which irritates your wounds) you round a corner and come face to face 5 ponies that shriek,
“EEEP!” at the same time, startling you into falling on your butt.
After their initial shock, Applejack grits her teeth and shouts,
“Where’s Twilight?! What did you do with her?!”
You stumble back up from that shout and the ponies get a better look at you.
“See! I told you it was working with Nightmare Moon!” Rainbow Dash calls out.
"Oof, such an old and raggedy poncho," Rarity chastises, causing you to grimmace.
Oi! It's not like I have many choices!
You look causes all of the mares to glare at you in disgust and anger, even Pinkie and Fluttershy. This causes you to get even more upset.
Oh come on! You can’t waste time on me! You gotta get upstairs and inspire Twilight before this show changes dramatically! Now Get Upstairs!
*ZAP*
A blast of magic flies from your staff and hits the ceiling you were gesturing towards and some dust and pebbles fall on your head.
There is a tense awkward silence as they look at you in shock and trepidation at your display of power.
As you and the ponies continue to stare each other down, a deadpanned look comes across your face as you think,
Yep, knew staring was gonna be a thing!
"All right jerk, tell us where Nightmare Moon took Twilight and I just might not have to beat you to next Sunday!" Rainbow angrily interrupts the staredown as she puts her hooves up in a boxer stance.
I’d Like to tell you, I really would! But you’re all angry and I can’t communicate. If only there was some way to calm you down…Wait a minute. Of course! The one universal language that can pierce the heavens and bring about world peace!
A brilliant plan comes to you as you
Right as the Mane 5 are about to take you down with their various skills, you realize that you have the skills of one universal language: Beatboxing!
You will admit that your beat sounds a little...okay a lot off compared to you usual tone. Back on Earth you considered yourself a master in the art of beatboxing, and your dance skills were semi-awesome. Nothing compared to your sister’s who could also moonwalk on ice, but hey what can you do?
With the loss of your voice the beat doesn't sound nearly as smooth and you have to improvise some sounds with your hands, but you think you’re doing a pretty good job so far.
"Wha...what is it doing? And what are those horrendous sounds coming out of it’s mouth?"
Gee Rarity, thank you for your generous observation!
"Ah don't know, maybe it’s trying to cast some sorta dark spell or something? I don’t know much about magic," Applejack says in bewilderment.
You notice Rainbow giving you a suspicious glare as Fluttershy hides behind her in response to Applejack’s theory.
Haters! You’re all just jealous of my sick moves! You think angrily as you step up your game.
It’s then that you look over to Pinkie...who’s bobbing her head up and down with the beat while a huge smile nearly splits her face apart.
"Dark spell or not, it sounds awesome! And look at those moves it has! I can't look away it’s so awesomestupendous!"
Yyyeess!!! At least one of you likes it! I knew there was a reason Pinkie was in my top five favorite ponies of all time!
With your performance at an end you get up and notice the ponies giving you a look that’s the equivalent of a squirrel’s face if it’s acorns started floating and jazz music started playing from it: In other words, sheer, unadulterated confusion.
"WOOHOOO! ENCORE! ENCORE! WOOOO!"
Except for Pinkie who is clopping her hooves on the ground in genuine praise.
Smirking smugly, you bow to your stunned audience with a smug smirk before giving Pinkie a double point and wink, which causes her to giggle.
Heh, once again beatboxing and breakdancing saves the day. Now's my chance to lead these ponies to Twilight and KILL HE-MAN-I mean, save canon. NYEH!
Your fleeing form manages to snap the ponies out of their stunned state as their anger returns. With a shout of "Get back here" courtesy of Rainbow the chase begins...that is after Rainbow has to fly back and grab Pinkie, who is still clapping.
"Come on Pinkie! We have to catch that weird ape thing!"
"*Gasp* Dashie how could you!? You know what happens to the pony that stops clapping first! Now I'm gonna vanish in the middle of the night and never be heard from again!"
"Whatever weirdo, just come on!"
As you bravely flee, you now have your plan in place.
Lead to confrontation, stay to the side, and hope for the best. The castle can’t be that big, right?
Alright, this has got to be the right way. I can feel it.
It’s not. In fact it happens to be the very room you woke up in.
Oh come on!!!
You feel like you’ve just ran a marathon, or to be more accurate you feel like you just participated in the running of the bulls considering the ponies chasing after you. You must have climbed at least every staircase you found, and yet somehow you managed to go in a circle and end up back where you started. Whatever deity or forces above must surely be laughing at your misfortune.
"GOT YOU NOW VARMIT!" Applejack cries out as you feel her pouncing on your back, but using your sick break dancing moves, you spin with the pounce as you still run, and she slides off and to the side.
“Oof! Dang it. This thing sure is a slippery snake!” Applejack groans as she gets back up and continues the chase.
Of course I am fool! I am the ruler of Snake Mountain, and the King of Pop wishes he had my moves. Nyeheheeee!!!
Yes, you actually combined Skeletor’s Nyeh, with MJ’s Heehee. If anyone could have heard, they would have shook their heads in utter disappointment.
After rounding a corner and putting some distance from the Mares, You pause to catch your breath. As you bend down and start to breath heavily you think,
Dear deity that folks complain to in this world...I hate running so much....Now where am I-OH COME ON!
You are now back in the Element Pedestal room.
OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!! HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE!?! I SWEAR IF CARTOON LOGIC IS INVOLVED I WIL-
Your rant is cut short as...
BrownDog's Comment
You get dogpiled by the ponies from behind. All five at once. Your epic breakdancing moves can’t help you here.
“Don’t give him an inch girls! Now, where is Twilight and the Elements?!” Applejack shouts.
“Yes you ghastly beast, where are they?!” Rarity screeches.
“Tell us where you took them…if you don’t mind that is…” Fluttershy meekly orders.
“You think you can teach me your moves? They are amazing! Well I mean, first tell us where Twilight is, but what do you say?” Pinkie chatters.
All you can do is struggle as all five of them pin you down. Dog sized though they may be, but they are dense and heavy. Heavy enough, that you feel you might suffocate.
This is not how I pictured going out. At least Death by pony dog pile will be interesting on my tombstone. I wonder if Death will laugh or shake its head in pity when they find out?
"Where is Twilgiht!? Say it! SAY IT!!!" Rainbow growls knocking you out of your burial rites.
I would if I could skittles! Nyeh!
You keep pointing up towards the ceiling using the one arm not under pony body, but the ponies just ignore your pointing in favor of continuing to yell for answers...right into your ears.
That's it, no more mister nice guy! I'm getting you all off me! I’m already mute, I don’t need to be deaf too! If only I had some more power to…Oh yeah!
Finally remembering your Havoc Staff, you push all of your will into it, and a force of air shoots out, loosening the dog pile, and giving you room to scramble out of it.
“He’s getting loose! Stop him before-“
*ZAP*
Throw a couple sparks at the ponies. Just enough to catch their attention.
You wave the staff menacingly and sneer at them, See He-Man? You cannot hope to match against my power! Nyeh!
You just sent out a bunch of sparks from your stuff right in front of them, catching their attention and keeping them from dogpiling you again.
That’s right! You growl as you get back to your feet and start swinging your staff in front of you wildly. See little He-Mans? You cannot hope to match against my power! Nyeh-*BONK*...Huh?!
However in your panic you accidentally hit Pinkie in the head causing her to get knocked out.
Oh Crap! No, No, No, NO! You suck in a lot of breath in and put your hands over your mouth horror at what you've just done as Fluttershy yells, yes, actually YELLS,
"PINKIE PIE!!!"
Crap! Not the Pink One! Why couldn’t it have been Svengallop?! It should have been Svengallop!
As the ponies stare at you in anger and Pinkie's unconscious body in shock you do the only thing that can come to your mind to ease the situation. You...
Shrug, as if to say "T'was an accident."
In the back of your mind you know this is all beast mans fault some how it always is .
Shrug your shoulders and put on a very guilt ridden face to convey what you’re thinking.
T'was an accident. In fact it was Beast Man’s fault! It’s always that fool’s fault!
Of course doing that after knocking a pony out has the opposite effect that you were hoping for. Rainbow just bears her teeth at you rage as she yells,
"THAT'S IT YOU JERK! YOU’RE GOING DOWN!"
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
Crap! Not what I wanted. you think, Why must I be cursed with this Skeletor complex?
You raise the Havoc Staff at them in a threating way while mentally screaming,
Stop!
A translucent blue wall appears in front of them, and they all smash into it. The ponies fall to the ground, stunned from the impact.
Still not what I wanted. You mentally groan as you feel guilt crawl up your back. Okay, I can still fix this, just need to get them to the room with the Elements.
You then suddenly get an idea to lead all the girls to Nightmare and Twilight.
I really hope they all forgive me after this...if I'm not blasted into stone that is. God this sucks so much on so many levels.
You put your plan into action as you grab Pinkie's unconscious form, tuck her under your arm and run for dear life up the nearest stairwell.
"Put Her Down!" Applejack calls out after you as she gets back to her hooves.
You ignore her shout as you run for it with the pink pony wrapped under your arms. You don't dare look behind you in fear of what you might see as you think,
Damn it Nightmare! Couldn't you have given me a map or something before ditching me?
"MUAHAHAHAHA!" Nightmare's laughter echoes down a dark stairwell to your left as if in response to your thoughts.
That works too. You speed up, shifting Pinkie Pie in your grip.
You finally get up the stairs to the room with Nightmare and Twi buuuuut there's one little problem you've come across in your plan.
How do I shake them of and let events unfold!? you think panting. All that running and dodging all while carrying Pinkie's unconscious form ( she needs to cut down on the sweets, even though it makes her soft and cuddly ('Squee')) , was far out of your gamer/couch potato comfort zone.
When you finally catch your breath you realize something very important, You’ve interrupted Nightmare's 'I've won you lost' speech just after she’s broken the rest of the Elements and the two ponies in the room are just staring at you in shock As these two stare at you, you can feel like you have to make a huge decision. As if the entire morning (er night?) was leading up to this. You look between the two ponies repeatedly and contemplate.
Alright, alright, alright... Whats the best outcome here? On the one hand I could serve my dark mistress and prove my worth to her.
You look over to Twilight as you continue to think,
On the other hand, I could try to mime to the ponies about how my loyalties are flimsy at best. Unless canon sticks and Luna comes back, then I swear all allegiance to the princess that actually does something once in awhile.
With that thought you look down towards the unconscious Pinkie Pie under your arm and back to Twilight before sighing.
But let's not kid ourselves, the miming didn't work earlier and it sure as HELL isn't gonna work with me sporting Nightmare Moon’s colors and waving a menacing skull staff around. Come on Skeletor, you're all in whether you like it or not! I'm sure you can somehow convince the dark queen to spare these cretins once the dust settles!
Looking back to the mare in the moon you notice the downright evil grin she's sporting with eyes full of madness. It is as you stare at these eyes that you feel all thoughts of going to the dark side fall.
On second thought let’s leave that as a worst case scenario. Let’s not work for the crazy evil pony who will kill everyone and everything by blocking out the sun for all eternity.
Just as you make up your mind, Twilight snaps out of her stunned state.
"YOU!" she calls out in rage, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO PINKIE PIE!?"
Ah, oh yeah, you sweat in fear at her now glowing horn.
Before any spell of hers can be cast, you are surrounded in a dark blue aura and instantly you are at Nightmare's side as she laughs like a mad tyrant.
"Well done my subject!" She yells in delight looking at the pink tubby pony in your arms like a wolf would look at a helpless lamb.
"Thou hast captured one of these pests in a matter of minutes, thou hast made our plan all the more easy."
That don't look good... you shudder bringing Pinkie defensively closer to your body. Pinkie stirs at the movement.
"C'M H'ER YA VARMIT!"
Suddenly the mane 4 come charging in through the stairway into the room.
"Oh, hey Twilight..." AJ says quickly solely focused on you.
"OH! Twilight!!" AJ says now fully aware of her now.
"And the rest of them too?!" Nightmare Moon says raising a brow looking at you, "Somepony deserves a promotion! Now, give me the Pink One."
"Don't lay a hoof on her!" Twilight calls out.
"And what if I do~?"Nightmare Moon asks "Pray tell, by all means do tell us what you miserable ponies can dare do if we were to harm this pink one?!"
You see Nightmare's magic wrap around Pinkie and your eyes widen in fear.
Oh no you don't ya crazy night themed villain! You won't touch a hair on her poofy, possibly made of cotton candy, mane!
And with that thought you…
BrownDog's Comment
Hold on firmly to the pink pony as if her life depends on it....which it probably does now that you think about it.
"What are you doing?" asks Nightmare as she tugs on Pinkie but you yank her back.
"You can let go now," she insists as tries to tug her again, and you tug back and shake your head.
NO! Mine!
"Give her to me!"
Screw you! This is MY Pink Pony now, you're not going to hurt her! Nyeh!
Pinkie is then in the middle of a game of tug of war between you and Nightmare Moon, squeaking the whole time while the other five look on in confusion.
Eventually she is jostled awake.
"Somepony got the number of that goat?" Pinkie says like a drunk. "He seemed quite handsome, heh,heh~"
"Let go this instant Soldier!" Nightmare Moon growls as she sends out a wave of magic which knocks you on your back and loosens your grip on Pinkie.
"Learn your place. There will be plenty of mares for you to claim later. This one must be made an example of!"
Don't say it like that! you shout as the others give you disgusted looks and you shake your head, failing to rid them of those thoughts.
Nightmare looks over to Twilight with a smug look as she starts shaking Pinkie like a bully would shake stolen candy in front of a baby.
Not cool LuLu! Not cool! You snarl in anger and worry for what she may do to her as you get up. Suddenly a chilling thought passes through your mind as your eyes widen in horror.
Please don't tell me she'll kill her like Frieza did Krillin! The last thing we need is Super Saiyan Twilight!
"GIVE US BACK PINKIE PIE!!" Rainbow Dash calls out.
"As you wish." Nightmare Moon giggles sadistically before she launches Pinkie at break neck speed at Rainbow.
*BONK*
Pinkie collides with Rainbow Dash, dropping them both to the ground.
“I can dance if I want to…I can leave my friends behind…” Pinkie Pie drunkenly sings as her head spins and Rainbow groans in pain.
OH that is it! Time to initiate operation 'Heroic Sacrifice!' Come here Nimmy, give papa a hug!
You are taller than this evil goddess, so you use this to your advantage and wrap her in a bear hug, with the staff holding her front legs up.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" she flails in your arms.
Keeping you from destroying He-M- PONIES, keeping you from destroying ponies. Prince Adam comes later...and wow you're so soft and fluffy. You can't help but nuzzle against her as she flails around.
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
As you struggle with Nightmare, you give Twilight a look trying to convey your meaning with your eyes.
Here's your chance!
By the grace of some unknown God, she manages to understand you. Her horn glows brightly as… she aims it at you and Nightmare Moon and shouts,
"This is for hurting Pinkie Pie!"
Your eyes widen as you realize that you're in the line of fire.
Wait I meant use the Elements!
*ZAP!*
Jolts contort your body into a beat you haven’t danced since you whizzed on that electric fence, but this is much worse. So much worse. You end up face down on the ground, your back feels like it's burning, and breathing is hard to come by. When you open your eyes, you see silver clad hooves.
"Thou art a fool," You hear Nightmare chastise you. "If thou had just obeyed me the first time, thou would have been unharmed… However, since you protected me, I shall consider this your punishment for disobedience." You feel a nuzzle against your cheek. "I shall heal you when I am finished with these mares."
And then the hooves exit your line of site.
Twilight you boob! You wasted your shot! You’re supposed to be Purple Smart! Smart! You’ve screwed us-
“-Element of Laughter!” Twilight’s determined voice cuts through your rant.
Huh?
It is both difficult and painful, but you manage to lift your head up to see the mane six start floating into the air one by one. It appears Pinkie has fully regained consciousness as well, and if you weren't in pain you would let out a sigh of relief.
Oh thank God canon is saved! But considering they still think I'm evil it looks like I'm going to become a lawn ornament soon.
As Twilight finishes her friendship speech, and her own Tiara floats onto her head, you see the mighty Rainbow of Death begin to form. Looking towards the end of Nightmare Moon, you see her eyes light up in fear, and she glances to you as if you can do anything.
As the last of your willpower leaves you and you begin to fall into darkness you shrug at her horrified face.
Eh. I’ve seen this outcome like 15 times, and I hate reruns.
And just as a bright flash of light fills the room, you finally pass out.
SOMETIME LATER
Ugh my head...what the hell hit me?
Your eyes slowly open and you find yourself in a pure white room. Sighing you begin to go over a mental check list.
White rooms? Check. Smell of the sick and dying? Check. Beeping of a heart monitor? Check. Yep...looks like I'm in a hospital. Oh crap, did I do a repeat of the fireworks incident? If so, I hope I don’t have to face charges. Freaking hallucinations!
Shaking your head, you think back on your latest break from reality. How you lost your voice, tried to become Skeletor again, and nearly screwed up the first episode of My Little Pony.
And here I just wanted to play some video games.
With that thought you try to sit up from your hospital bed, but you find a pressure on your chest preventing you. You growl in annoyance as you look down and think,
Okay! What is...on my...chest..?.
There before you is a tiny blue filly you recognize as Luna after being Harmonized. You can feel your heart bursting from the adorableness as your heart monitor goes nuts.
Ack! This is the most adorable thing ever! I'm being cuddled by a filly Luna! Heart! Can't! Handle! Cuteness! Life...fading...too...adorable...wait a minute.
With the fact that Luna herself is cuddling you, you take notice how the hospital room looks off. For one thing, all the furniture is child sized. Even the bed you’re on is two of them stuck together, and even then your feet are hanging off the edge. Looking out the window, you see cottages with hay roofs that you recognize as Ponyville backgrounds. You try to speak, and once again, only silence falls.
Have I finally completely lost it? Because either I’m still hallucinating big time, or all of that happened. And if that's true, then why-
Your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a door opening. Looking to the left where the sound came from you see...
Oh find me in the alps...
None other than Princess Celestia herself. The regal Alicorn stares down at you and Luna for a few moments, before she smirks.
"Ah, so your finally awake. I have a few questions for you..."
As you and the sun goddess stare each other down you can't help but feel nervous. No one can really blame you considering said pony can easily turn you to ash if she wanted to, or worse have her new mass weapon of rainbow destruction turn you into a lawn ornament. Or both.
So yeah, you have every right to be nervous, which is why you break eye contact with the pony princess to look at the bundle of adorableness that is Woona.
Hopeing luna has not sold you out as the lord of snake mountain you know she will tell He man if she knows you must hide your true Skeletor self ,if she has no clue then your safe.
I really really really hope Luna didn't sell me out on the whole 'Lord of Snake Mountain' thing,
You hold back a comical sneer as you continue to think,
True she only saw a glimpse of my greatness, but competing toy and cartoon franchises must surely have an awareness of each other. It’s only a matter of time now that she's good that she'll tell all the He-Mans in this world and then I'll have to spend who knows how long getting my ass kicked over and over again. I must hide my true Skeletor nature, or at least downplay it enough in order to prevent that from happening. FOR I WILL BE THE ONE TO STRIKE HE-MAN DOWN FIRST MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
"Are...are you alright?"
Your eyes widen at Celestia's question as you realize that your face has contorted into a mad grin while you were laughing evilly. Though thankfully without your voice, all it looked like to her was that you were wincing in pain. You quickly shake off the look, much to Celestia's confusion/amusement, before you gain a deep frown.
Denneylaw's Comment
Greatness942's Comment
Alright, inner Skeltor complex, you’ve gotten me in enough trouble already. I have to channel one of my less evil complexes. Something that will show her I'm not a threat. But who?
You gain a thoughtful look for a few moments, before you start to chuckle slightly insanely in a good natured way. Well...you don't really chuckle, its more of your mouth opening and closing while your head bobs up and down as you pet Luna.
Nyeh-heh-heh, I shall make the greatest spaghetti in all the land! I shall become a royal guard after I capture the human!!! Nyeh-heh-heh!
It is as you are doing this that Celestia's look of confusion slowly starts to morph more into amusement. In fact it looks like the side of her mouth is twitching upwards, trying to smile,
Amusement is good, For I am A Cool Dude! Now allow me to capture the human with one of my puz- You then stop and facepalm startling Celestia.
Damn it! I can’t be Papyrus! Then I’d have to capture myself. Curse you Toby Fox, you're next after He-Man!!! *Sigh*
“Are you perhaps gathering your thoughts? There’s no need to feel nervous in my presence,” Celestia speaks up.
Like Hell there isn’t Sun Horsey! Come on, surely I can think of anything other than talking skeletons, right? Come on, think, think!! Perhaps I could Combine the two personalities together?
The mental battle you conjure causes you to silently chuckle, but just as soon as you do this you slap yourself across the face to dislodge the scenario in your mind as you think angrily
Okay, enough with the skeletons already! I cannot be that obsessed with talking bones for crying out loud! Think of something else already brain!!!
Celestia covers her mouth with her hoof trying to cover her laughter.
Crap! Now she’s laughing at me! I need to save face and appear suave and cool!Come on brain, think of something that's not a tall skeleton! Think! Think! Thi-
And inspiration hits you as you suddenly get the urge twirl your none-existent mustache evilly while pretending to hold a rose in your other hand.
By now Celestia is full blown laughing at your antics. Little Woona meanwhile appears to be giggling in her sleep.
“I’m sorry-Ha Ha-Please-Ha-Forgive me *Giggle*” Celestia breathes out getting her laughter under control. “It’s just that I have no idea what you’re doing, and your expressions seem whacky.”
Damn it Personas, you suck! Why can't you be more awesome and be like Samuel L Jackson or Samurai Jack! Seriously wh-
Your rant is interrupted when you feel the pressure around your chest increase. This seems to snap you back into reality as you look down to see Woona cuddling you even more while giggling in her sleep. You heart monitor goes crazy for a bit, but you calm down fast enough before it goes on too long.
Well, at least Woona likes me, so that's something. At least if things don't work out with Celestia I still got cuddles from best princess. Which thinking about it isn't too bad as a last request…Perhaps I could just run away with her before Celestia tries anything?Wait a minute. That’s it! I could use my inner Joseph Joestar again!
After remembering your crazy run, you try to call upon the heroic complex of the great Joseph Joestar...and it almost works! You almost feel like rising from bed, throwing out a ridiculous, yet clever plan, and being a smartass the whole way through. But your nerves are too shot, you’re still injured quite a bit, and the sun princesses has her site directly upon you.
You point at her and think,
Your next line is going to be ‘My goodness I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.’
Celestia stops laughing when she notices your finger and raises an eyebrow.
“Yes? Oh, do you wish me to introduce myself? I am Princess Celestia of Equestria,” she says in regal authority and you scrunch your face in disappointment.
Damn! I was so sure that was going to work. Well I’m out of options, I don’t have Hamon or a Stand…yet…This is a land of magic, maybe I can jury rig one. That is if I don’t get sent to jail.
You shiver as you see her giving you a stoic look as if she’s deep in thought.
Hopefully I didn’t confuse her too much.
Oh how little you knew. For in reality the princess of the sun is already formatting plan after plan to use your...uniqueness to troll every stuck up noble she can find. As well as troll a certain creature of chaos when he eventually gets out...but you can't read minds so you don't know that.
After a moment, Celestia notices that your attention is on her and she coughs into her hoof before saying,
BrownDog77's Comment
“I’m taken to understand that you are mute, is that correct?”
You nod at this info and pat your throat for emphasis.
“Well I guess Luna’s claims are genuine then seeing as your laughter and groans were silent.”
And you give one of those airy groans as if to emphasize that statement.
“Now then, if you’re over your nervous antics, let’s get back down to questioning. Before I begin, I will inform you that it has been a week since I found you unconscious in the castle with my sister. The Doctor’s informed us that you’d possibly waking soon so we came to check up on you. My dear little sister though is still physically weak after being struck by the Elements of Harmony, and it seems she couldn’t stand vigil over you,” she smirks.
A week? Dang, that’s a new personal best for me.
"With that out of the way, I’d like to ask you a few questions. From the correspondence from my student you are said to be intelligent enough to write. Is this true?" After you nod she magics a pad and pencil next to your head.
“Good. So now you can write and explain to me your side of the story.”
You nod as you pick up the pencil and paper and start writing what happened in the castle. But no matter what you write though, Celestia doesn't understand it.
"Odd. I've never seen this type of language before, and yet you clearly understand our language…” she trails off trying to decipher your text.
Dang it. So English words don’t exist here. So what the heck, do I have a Babel Fish in my ear or something?
"Strange indeed..." she mutters before shaking her head.
Greatness942's Comment
"Not to worry, there are still other options.” With a poof of magic, a tray of various putties floats beside her. She then concentrates lifts your pad of paper and begins drawing a floor plan of the castle, before placing both it and the putties in front of you.
"I know you can understand me, that much is certain. So, using these putties on this little map, I want you to re-enact the entire event."
And so, you get to work! Creating a putty Skeletor in your place, which is very poorly done with blue, purple and a bit of yellow putty for the face.
“Odd…” she says in consideration, “Did you perhaps lose these purple and blue garments in the castle?”
You lie and nod.
You then continue, making 7 putty ponies, one more noticeably bigger than the rest. With the pieces done, you begin explaining. You show how you just appeared, meeting the Mane Six, the Havoc Staff, Beatboxing, the Joestar Family Technique, and how you ended up in the castle. Through it all, she sits attentively, watching it and listening to your...Nyehs. You seem to just be saying noises that are close to "NYEH!" constantly, but the tone's there even though you can't really speak any words or syllables.
After you finish, Celestia says calmly,
"Okay, I know I'm missing a lot of context, but let me see if I got this straight...you woke up in the castle?”
Nod
"Accidentally broke an Element of Harmony and were chased by my student and her new friends-"
Nod
"And you were beaten, before Nightmare Moon helped you-"
Nod
"She gave you the staff of Grogar-"
Havoc Staff! I mean-, nod
"Which you used to knock out one of my student's friends…” she then raises an eyebrow at you, “Was this intentional or accidental?”
You pause and reluctantly wave your hand.
Ehhh, a little of column A, Little of Column B.
"Right…so you then for some reason kidnapped the Pink Mare and brought her to Nightmare Moon, before refusing to hand her over?” a bit of confusion creeps into her voice.
You reluctantly nod as you pick up the Pinkie Pie putty doll and pat it’s head before holding it close to your chest as if you’re snuggling it. This causes her to raise her brow again.
“Ah, it seems you’ve become attached to this Pinkie Pie then. Good to know. Thankfully it seems this infatuation gave my student and her friends the time they needed to save Luna. Well, after your injury that is,” she says a bit bitterly.
You furiously nod at that, before you wince as…
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
DerekGamer's Comment
BrownDog's Comment
A jolt of pain shoots through your and a strangled hiss escapes from your throat as you try to react to said pain.
Celestia's winces in sympathy at your visage. "Please don't move around much. Your injuries were quite severe, and several of the doctors insisted that you should have died from blood loss."
You become rather sober at hearing that.
Crap, I really could have died! I am never jumping at random mirrors again.
A spark of anger appears in Celestia's eyes and you freeze.
"Then there is the matter of Twilight's attack. You must have some innate resistance to magic because from the amount of power she put into that attack should have left a hole in your body.”
But I was kinda her enemy at the time. You slowly mime this out to Celestia, mainly by gesturing between you and Luna, while holding up the Nightmare Moon putty figure.
"I have taught her to be better than that. I shudder to think what would happened had you not shielded Luna as you did…” she responds before shaking her head. “She will atone for this to you, I guarantee it. Regardless, when you leave, I will also send a couple guards to watch over you until you are fully healed. They will be sending reports back to me.”
To this you give a confused expression and her eyes widen.
“Oh right, I haven’t explained how we’ll be handling your unique situation. As it is, since there is no clear way to communicate with you, and we still have no idea where you came from or even WHAT you are, I can't exactly let you wander my country unescorted."
Crap! I'm going to the dungeons!
"But because my sister and my student’s new friend have spoken out for you, I am willing to give you a chance. Twilight Sparkle will be living now in this town with her friends who you've met. Until such a time that we can communicate properly and know your story fully, I will leave you in their care."
What? Am I under house arrest or something?
She sees your outraged face.
"The alternative is more...militaristic in nature..." she warns.
Okay, house arrest sounds nice. I guess Twilight can help me learn their written language, but I'm pretty sure five out of six of them hate me.
Your mental groaning crashes to a halt though, when she says something that takes your breath away.
“Do not fret Skeletor, I will not just leave you in the hooves of antagonistic…are you alright?” she pauses as she sees your face.
Tears flow from your eyes in pure happines. You are in euphoria, the heavens have opened above you and angels are singing.
She called me Skeletor! You weep. I'm so happy This is all I ever wanted. For someone else to feed into my delusions…Wait, how did she know to call me that?
You sit up suddenly, wincing at the pain as you think back to your earlier fears.
Do competing franchises know about each other via osmosis?
"Oh, you're probably wondering how I knew your name?” Celestia exposits and you nod. Losing her confusion behind, she explains.
“Well while you were unconscious, I tried to delve into your mind...but you have unusually strong mental barriers. The only clear image I could receive was a purple clad creature with a skull face dancing, and the word "Skeletor" repeated over and over again. Since that putty figurine you made represents you, I figured that this was your name. Is it?"
Even a strong Memory spell did not work on you. Which in hindsight is probably for the best, considering that if it did work they'd find out their all just made up creatures from some toy company. But of course you didn't focus on that, you focused more on being called Skeletor.
Yes! For all that is holy yes! you 'shout' as you bob your head up in down with enough force to give you whiplash, and cause you to wince again from the week old injuries.
“Please take it easy Mr. Skeletor. You are still very weakened, even if you are being released in an hour.”
I can’t help it! I have others calling me Skeletor, plus I have the staff and…Wait. Where’s the Havoc Staff?!!! You panic as you see no sign of it in the room. You then hold up the putty figurine of the staff and shake it at Celestia.
"Ah the staff of Grogar. Luna said you might ask for it's whereabouts. I have left it in the care of my faithful student for study. Whether she wants to give it back to you is another story I’m afraid."
Curses! I can't be foiled from my destiny...Wait a minute. Princess Celestia is voiced by Nicole Oliver...the same voice actress as...
You look upon Princess Celestia with a toothy sneer and she backs up in surprise.
Curse You Sorceress! You will not be able to keep Castle Greyskull safe from me forever!!!
She then looks upon your arm waving in amusement.
“Getting upset won’t change anything. I’m sure that once things have settled between everypony, then she may be more courteous. We still have to know that we can trust you before giving you such a weapon.”
Great, take away my joy will you? Why don’t you just rip my heart out, it’d be quicker.
As soon as you think that you hear the heart monitor flat line.
AH no I didn't mean that literally! Start beating heart! I am not dying via comedic timing! Live me! Live me damn it!
Your panic only skyrockets when you hear the princess giggling at you. You turn to face her in horror as you 'say,'
Why are you laughing!? I'm about to become the Skeleton part of Skeletor here! Revive my still heart or something Sunbutt or I will haunt you for all time!!
Her giggles subside as she says,
"Oh calm down, all that happened was I unplugged the heart rate monitor,” she levitates the cord to show you before pressing another button shutting off the screech. “I told you the doctors would release you within the hour so I thought I’d help. I didn’t expect such a reaction,” she giggles again and you give her the stink eye. “When the times come to leave the guards outside shall escort you to your place of stay."
You then point at her then back to you in confusion.
“Oh no. I’m sorry but I must return to Canterlot soon. We only came to see you awake, and since that took longer than expected, Luna fell asleep. I have to ensure that her strength and body get back to normal while still attending to my royal duties. I’m sure you understand Mr. Skeletor.”
You sigh at this.
Dang, I was hoping to have you guys around when I get left with the Mane 6, you bemoan as you pat Woona on the head. And on that note…
You then point to the six figurines you made of them and give her a questioning glance, to which she smiles.
Greatness942's Comment
"As I was saying before, I’m leaving you in all of their care, but while the emotions and mistrust are still prevalent, I believe it best for you to stay with the Element of Laughter. From both your account, and everyone’s at the castle, Pinkie Pie seems to be the one to least likely to do you further harm. The rest seem to be particularly spiteful in regards to hosting you as a guest. Does this suit you?”
Living with Pinkie Pie? In a house full of pies and cakes and all other kinds of goodness? Heck Ya! You nod and give her the thumbs up.
“Excellent. However..." Celestia's face goes stern as she says,
"Spiteful or not, Twilight and the rest will be instructed to escort you around town as she learns the value of friendship. I do hope that you won't cause any trouble for them during these times."
You nod to this calmly but on the inside,
Great, that means there's no way for me to avoid screwing up canon if I'm stuck with Pinkie, Twilight and the rest the whole time.
“Very well then. I will take my leave now. I will explain to my student and her friends the arrangements made. I look forward to speaking with you again Skeletor, when complex communication becomes available.”
She then begins to leave, but not before magicing Woona off of your chest, much to the tiny Princess’s and your dismay as she grasps thin air. She mumbles something you can't hear, which only causes Celestia to chuckle.
"No matter what your intentions are or were, you have given something my sister has lacked in thousands of years. A friend..." Suddenly you feel the glare of a thousand suns as Celestia narrows her eyes at you. "If I find out that you did or will do anything to harm my sister, then not even the Elements can stop me from hunting you down. Understand?"
You nod your head frantically in fear that the princess might just melt you from her gaze. And just as quickly as it came, the glare is gone replaced by a simple smile.
"Good, have a nice day."
She opens the door and exits before closing it behind her. Alone in your room, you’re glad the heart rate monitor got unplugged because otherwise it would attract the whole hospital’s staff right now.
Okay note to self, never piss off Celestia if I want to continue to have a healthy existence. Also looks like I'm BFF with best princess...yeah that's awesome!
Sunbro4life’s Comment
But still, not-yet-transformed princess and her friends are going to be watching me like a hawk, And she has my freaking staff! You groan as you sit back in bed.
Ugh, I’m going to have to get in good with them if I want the Havoc Staff back. Once I have that, I can look for Beast Man to berate him for his faults, find myself an attractive Evil-Lyn, and rule Snake Mountain! Nyeh!
With these thoughts you calm down and begin to relax as you wait for the doctors to allow you to leave.
AN HOUR LATER
We now find you being escorted out of the hospital accompanied with two guards. You are using a cane, because while you apparently heal fast (the Doctors harped on it) your back still feels like crap so they gave you a stick. The fact that it’s a awesome one made out of mahogany helps make you not feel old. You also carry the pencil and pad of paper Celestia gave to you. You can at least draw to communicate somewhat, and you might have some notes to make for later.
You are still wearing your moon poncho, which is to be expected considering ponies don't exactly have any human sized clothes for you to wear, but you still have no socks or shoes.
And considering how pissed off almost all the Mane Six are, I highly doubt Rarity will be in the generous mood to make me some clothes...unless she can't stand the sight of my poncho… but then I might just have to pay for it.
You look at the guards at your sides. Both of them act just how they do in the show, stoic face and all. Except for the fact that the one on the right is a mare, not a stallion. Which is weird since the show only ever showed stallions in the Royal Guard, but hey different isn’t necessarily bad.
So far you've just been referring to the two ponies as Guard 1 and Guard 2 since they refuse to give you their name...or even talk to you for that matter. You’ve tried everything at your limited disposal, but they don’t even bat an eye at you.
This must be what Rainbow Dash felt like when she was trying to get a reaction out of these guys. At least if I get minions they’ll have some personality! Stupid Robot Unicorns.
You sigh again in frustration as the three of you approach the front of the hospital. You stop just before the door and take a deep breath.
Okay, going into the most judgmental town ever...Poor Zecora. Hopefully no one decided to buy eggs today.
With that thought you take a step out the door...only for a pink puffball to slam you into the ground
“Hiya Mr. Skeletor! Princess Celestia says you’re going to crash at my place! Are you excited? Because I’m excited! OOH! This is going to be so much fun!”
As you stare at the bright blue eyes and huge smile of Pinkie Pie, you can't help but think,
Whelp, I guess being glomped is better than eggs getting thrown at me...also ow!
WHAT DO YOU DO?
Episode 5: Screw You Guys. I'm Going to Pinkie's Home.
As your staring contest with Pinkie continues to go on, you notice something about the pink pony. You see..
BrownDog's Comment
That there is still a bump on her forehead where you accidentally hit her with the Havoc Staff.
Oh geeze, and that was a week ago. How hard did I hit you? You think in guilt. Pinkie notices where your eyes are looking and just gives you a smile.
"Oh don't worry about it, It doesn't hurt anymore," she waves off, but you shake your head and give her a big hug which she cheerfully accepts.
"I accept your apology. But if you really want to make it up to me, you'll teach me your awesome dance and beatboxing moves."
You nod your head in the affirmative as she lets you back up and you look out the open door.
You see the rest of the mane six looking at you. Well...to be more accurate half of them are glaring at you while the other half are eyeing you suspiciously. No surprise but its Applejack and Rainbow doing the glaring, while the other three are looking at you suspiciously/fearfully.
Well...you think Fluttershy is looking at you suspiciously. It's kinda hard to tell considering she's hiding behind both her mane and Twilight, so maybe she’s only looking at you in the fear aspect. You can’t tell.
Still, way to make a guy feel welcomed. Totally doesn't make me feel like an outcast at all. Geeze I wonder if this is how Zecora feels.
Pinkie seems to notice your distressed look as she nudges you slightly. You look at her as she gets a huge grin on her face.
"Hey no need for that upside down smile Skelly! They’re all just a teensy eensy bit grumpy at you for the whole 'knocking me out and helping Nightmare Moon' thing. Trust me they'll be over it in a week and then we can be the bestest of friends!"
While you lack Pinkies optimism, you can't help but smile at the fact that she's trying to reassure you.
I hope you’re right Pinkie, because I might actually die if I ever see Fluttershy angry at me again. No one that adorable should look that intimidating. And don’t get me started if she actually uses The Stare.
Shuddering at that thought, you nod and take a step outside…
TheForsakenOne's Comment
Only to step on a very sharp rock. Unpaved dirt roads are full of sharp painful rocks that might not give equine’s trouble, but will put your feet through hell.
Letting out a silent yelp of pain. You drop your cane and begin to bounce around on your other leg while holding your foot in pain. However as you bounce you somehow manage to land onto a even sharper rock.
This causes your eyes to water as you start to jump from one foot to the other. You haven’t even made it out the front door of the hospital, and you’re already reinjuring yourself. Even the guards chuckle at your display of pain.
Oh sure, you’re robots until pain’s involved. Freaking masochists!
“Are you alright Skeletor?” asks Pinkie in concern while the other Elements look at you in confusion.
Yeah. No.
You pick up your cane and limp back inside the hospital, shutting the door on the Elements.
“Well that was rude. Why’d you do that?” Pinkie asks you.
You lift your foot and point to the sore and red bottom’s of your feet.
“Oof. Your hooves are weird looking, and soft. You need some shoes.”
You nod at this as you walk over to the nervous looking nurse behind the front desk and mime that you need at least two rolls of gauze. With the help of your notepad the nurse gives you the gauze. You nod in thanks before walking over to a nearby magazine rack.
Okay, I either need a really thick one or one that's super old. Either way, no one will care. Nobody actually likes waiting room magazines.
You find two of the newest crisp ones, that showcase the Elements of Harmony...and proceed to rip the magazines to shreds into the shape of your feet. The guards and Pinkie are surprised by this action, but you ignore them as you hold the faux shoe sole to the bottom of your feet and wrap a shit ton of gauze around them.
Looking down at your handy work you smile as a certain Zelda tune plays in your head as you think,
Tadah! Skeletor has received HOBO SHOES! They may look rushed and bad, but they’re comfortable so I can't complain.
Nodding at your latest achievement you look over to the surprised ponies and chuckle nervously as you try to explain what you just did. But before you could a loud rumble comes from your stomach. You hold your hands over it in embarrassment as you think,
Geeze could that have been any louder!? I guess not eating for almost a week can stir up an appetite. If only I could...grab...a bite...
Your thoughts leave you as your eyes wonder back to the pink puffball of joy that is Pinkie Pie. You swear you hear a light bulb go off.
BrownDog's Comment
I'm now with the Pink Party Pony. There is only one reasonable thing to do that can quell my hunger.
Drawing on your notebook, you sketch a cake and her eyes light up.
"OH My Gosh! How'd you know I work in a bakery?"
Tensing up, you smile as you tap your nose then her mane.
"Oh, I guess that makes sense. Alright Skeletor, let's go get you some cake!" she yells as she rushes you outside, right past Twilight and the rest who were just opening the door.
“Pinkie Pie, why did that thing-Whoa!” she shrieks as you are all but dragged past them and outside.
Before anyone even has a chance to speak, Pinkie throws you onto her party wagon and speeds you away, your Guard Escorts and the rest of the Elements shouting in surprise and trying to catch up.
You, meanwhile, just try to lean back while being careful of your back as you enjoy the ride. It's not every day you get to ride in a wagon after all. Of course the universe decides that you were being too comfortable as suddenly Pinkie comes to an abrupt stop. This causes you to go flying forward and face plant in the back of the cart.
Why me? You groan
You slowly get up as you see the reason why Pinkie just stopped. Both her ears are flopping and her right eye is twitching.
Ah...must be a Pinkie Sense thing. No twitchy tail so I guess we're safe, you smile over getting to see it firsthand.
Before you could continue your thoughts Pinkie suddenly lets out a dramatic gasp.
"Oh no! Two floppy ears and a right eye twitch! Somepony is planning a surprise glomp and it’s not me. NOT ON MY WATCH!"
With that said the Pinkie then starts trotting at a reasonable speed, the whole while looking around at full alertness.
“Don’t worry Skeletor. No one will get the drop on me? No matter how suspicious everypony is looking at you.”
Greatness942's Comment
Looking around, you do indeed see many ponies gawking, but despite some odd looks, no one seems too hostile. If anything, their jaws are dropping out of sheer bafflement. Whether that's because of you or Pinkie scrutinizing them remains unknown to you.
And wait, she said there was going to be a surprise glomp? Who else besides Pinkie even does that? God, I hope that doesn't mean Lyra's human fascination is canon. That's the last thing I need to worry about right now
And right on cue, you hear a high pitched "SQUEE" as said light aquamarine pony suddenly smacks into you, sprawling you onto the bottom of the cart again.
That’s three times already! Ouch!
"Oh my Celestia, I was right! Your kind does exist! Take that skeptics!" she excitedly says. "I'm Lyra Heartstrings! I can't believe this is really happening!"
You just stare at the pony with a deadpanned look as you 'say,'
Yeah...me neither.
Before Lyra can say anything else she is suddenly shoved aside as Pinkie comes into view.
“Dang it! I left my guard down for one shiny bit on the ground and this happens!” she grumbles. Her mane is a bit more fuzzy than normal like she’s frustrated.
“Oh, I’m sorry Pinkie Pie, it’s just that how can you not get excited over a myth becoming reality. He could be the missing link between cows and minotaurs!”
“Even so, gotta watch the injuries Lyra,” Pinkie admonishes before smiling. “I kind of did the same thing earlier,” they both giggle before they both start chatting wildly.
You take Pinkie's sudden mood swing as your que to get up from Lyra's tackle.
Freaking ponies. I’m just glad they’re not the size of actual ponies, or else I’d be dead.
Leaning on your mahogany cane you focus in on the tail end of their conversation.
"Yep! I'm taking Skeletor here back to Mr. and Mrs. Cake. Some stuff happened, and so he's...uh...under house arrest?"
"House arrest? ...Oh, right, rare creatures and all! But then, why not take this...I don't know what to call you. Missing Link? Why not take it to Fluttershy?"
"Well we found him in a weird place, and Fluttershy might not like seeing him at this point. He kind of spooked and upset her."
Oh Come On!
“And we call him Skeletor because that’s his name silly.”
“Wait, Skeletor? It…He can talk?”
“Oh no he can’t. He’s a pretty good dancer though.”
“Huh?” Lyra asks dumbfounded.
“And anyway, I’d like to tell you more, but this big guy is really hungry. He hasn’t eaten in a literal week, and the only cure is cake!”
And with that, Lyra's eyebrow raises in confusion, but she still nods and walks off, saying farewell to both of you.
“Well alright then. But still he is quite amazing. I have to tell Moondancer, Minuette and the rest of the gals back in Canterlot about this. The research possibilities are endless!”
“Okie Dokie Loki,” Pinkie waves happily.
But wait a minute what did she mean by rese-Whoa!
Before you can have a chance to even think about this little encounter, you suddenly find yourself being pulled at a ridiculous speed again. Sighing at this and just chalking it up to Ponyville weirdness you decide to let it go. But there is one thought at the back of your mind that you can't ignore.
If Lyra's obsession is Canon...then what else is?
For some reason that thought fills you with anticipation, and you can't decide if that's a good thing or not.
A FEW MINUTES LATER
A short while later finds you and Pinkie finally arriving at Sugarcube Corner. Staring at the gingerbread building causes you to drool slightly.
Oooohhhh....I wonder if the building is made of actual gingerbread. If it is, I might need a new place to sleep at...and a lawyer to deal with charges.
Pinkie, surprisingly, doesn't say anything at your awed face. Instead she just giggles and starts to bounce towards the building. As you reach it you are surprised to see the mare Royal Guardspony from the hospital standing out front, panting.
Huh? How in the world did she beat us here!? That doesn't make any sense!
“Oh hi there guard mare. Wow you’ve got great legs if you beat us back.”
The mare just wipes sweat from her brow and points to her horn.
“Teleport. Did it too quickly,” she shakes her head and gives you and Pinkie a glare.
Oh she seems upset we left her in the dust and is going to give a lecture. Okay, let's do this. Your next line is going to be "Pinkie Pie, oh great Goddess of Pink, what is this attractive monkey you've brought before me?!
"Ms. Pinkie Pie. Your Highness, Princess Celestia has sent me as the Guard who will watch over this...creature while he...I think, stays here. I am Captain Alabaster Foxtrot. Please do not run off like that again."
...My version was better. NYEH! Also now you decide to introduce yourself!? I couldn’t even get you to acknowledge my presence unless I was in pain. It’s because she's a pony isn't it? I'd ought to report you to Sunbutt for racism…or is that speciesism?
“Oh, I’m sorry. I was just so excited to show him where he was staying. Besides he’s not dangerous.”
“I’m taken to understand he personally rendered you unconscious,” she shoots back. You scowl at this which she notices.
“Oh don’t worry about that. It’s all water on the duck’s bridge. He won’t harm anypony else.”
"It better not,” she glares at you glaring at her. “Buddy, I can knock your flank six ways from Hearth's Warming! Don’t run off again and be thankful I have my orders."
Snooty Bitch, you growl as you flip her the bird, but since the predominant species on this planet is equine…
“I’m guessing that means you understand?” she asks.
Yeah sure, let’s go with that, you smile vindictively as you wave your middle finger back and forth in front of her face, and she actually looks a bit relieved.
“Very well. Ms. Pie, you may resume your plans. I will remain here and wait for the others.”
“Oki doki Loki!” Pinkie chirps and grabs you by the middle finger and pulls you inside.
Better watch your attitude Foxtrot, or you’ll make the list…Speaking of, I should probably make a list at some poi-
“EEEEEEE!!!!”
BrownDog's Comment
Some of the patrons are freaked out by your appearance, and some scream and rush out the door.
Speciests! You wave after them with your cane.
“Don’t worry anypony!” Pinkie declares. “This is my friend Skeletor. He isn’t going to hurt anypony. In fact he hasn’t hurt a single pony…since the first time he knocked me out.”
You facepalm at this as that only serves to make the patrons seem even more weary.
Ignoring the atmosphere, Pinkie hops over to Mr. and Mrs. Cake.
Oh wow, her hair actually does look like frosting, you think as your stomach growls. Since you’re looking right at her, she and a few other ponies rightly feel even more nervous.
“Mr. and Mrs. Cake, this is Skeletor. And don’t worry, he may be hungry, but I don’t think he eats ponies. Other than him wanting cake, I don’t know what he eats.”
Damn it Pinkie! I love you, but for the love of God, get better at PR! You panic as even more ponies decide to sneak out of the shop.
"Pinkie dear, um...what exactly is that creature you have with you?" Mrs. Cake timidly asks.
"I don’t know. I met him when me and the girls kind of helped save the world and everything. Some claim he’s the missing link for Minotaurs and cows, but we have really no idea. He's gonna be staying with us for awhile."
"He is?" Mr. Cake blanches.
"Yup, and don't worry, I'll take care of him."
"B-Butbut it's more than twice our size, where's it going to sleep?" asks Mrs. Cake.
"In my room, duh. And don't worry Mrs Cake, he's very well behaved, Right Skelly?...Skelly?"
You aren't where she left you, you instead are at the counter shoving miniature muffins into your mouth by the handful.
Oh Wow I'm freaking starving. I guess I really haven't eaten in a week! No wonder Derpy has such a love for them! More! I demand more!
“Skeletor!” Pinkie admonishes and you turn around, your cheeks stuffed like a squirrels.
The cakes give Pinkie a worried glance and she chuckles nervously.
"He'll...behave better. Besides it's royal decree."
The couple look to each other and sigh.
"Well, I guess if that's the case..."
"Great! Come on Skeletor, I want to introduce you to Gummy!" she takes your hand and drags you up the stairs.
But my muffins! you look back forlornly.
You arrive in her room, or rather what you would call an upstairs apartment.
“Welcome to Casa de Pink. Whatcha think huh? Huh?” she bounces giddily. “Over here’s my closet of party supplies. This is my little kitchen for midnight snacks. This is the bathroom, this is…”
She drones on and on showing you practically everything. You even see some of her mentally unstable Party of One friends about the place.
Oh crap. What if that happens when I’m here for that? Will that mess up the friendship lesson? You panic thinking about the future as you are dragged every which way but loose.
ONE PINKIE CHAT LATER
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
After Pinkie has finished introducing you to the contents of her room, and a friendly gum from Gummy.
I feel your pain buddy. Deep complex thoughts that no one can hear.
You manage to get Pinkie's attention and pat your stomach, looking sorrowful as you do so. Pinkie gasps,
"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry! I got so excited about showing you around that I forgot about food! We need to fix this pronto!"
She grabs your arm and drags you back downstairs.
As you reach the bottom, you are greeted with the sight of the other Main 6 and the two guards standing at the counter, Twilight talking to the Cakes. Twilight looks ever so slightly frazzled and you see a stray hair standing out from the rest.
They all turn to see you come down, the mares expressions varying from suspicion to fear.
Oh what the hell is this anime cliché bullshit? Nothing happened you stupid mares!
"Pinkie," Twilight says ignoring your glare, "What were you-"
"Sorry Twilight but I have a food emergency to fix right now!" Pinkie blurts out before she runs into the kitchen, and you hear things crashing as she rushes to feed you.
You stand there, your pink friend no longer there to keep the peace. Everything is silent as you all stare.
And stare....
And stare....
And stare....
And stare....
This feels familiar.Well, might as well as break the ice. You cough as loud as you can.
Everyone except the guards jump, and Twilight lets out a small shriek. She immediately covers her hooves with her mouth, her face turning red.
You smile slightly and bow, adding a bit of a flourish as you do so. You add a mental Charisma check as well, praying that the Dice gods are kind to you this day.
Come on Nat 20. Come on Nat 20.
But it seems you failed to beat their DC and your performance seems to not have much effect on them.
I knew I should have multiclassed with Bard. You curse, And maybe put more points into Charisma.But every character I make is Chaotic neutral with Evil leanings!Curse you D&D!
You attempt to salvage this situation by slowly walking over to one of the tables and sitting down in one of the chairs.
The chair creaks before the legs snap and you fall flat on your butt. Thankfully, the chair was only about a foot from the ground since ponies are the size of dogs, so not much was damaged.
Your pride is another thing as you hear giggles emanate from the mares. You sigh and cross your legs and wait for Pinkie to finish with her cooking. You gesture to the other seats inviting them to join you.
The ponies are hesitant at first, but surprisingly the first ones to walk over are Twilight and Fluttershy. Twilight you could understand, but you were a bit shocked by the Pegasus.
Well I guess I am a new type of animal to them. Now if only she’d stop shaking so much.
She sits the furthest from you, as the rest all take seats, with at least three chairs as a buffer.
God it's freshmen year all over again.
But at least in High School, no one just stared at you in awkward silence for long stretches of time.
Okay Fine, Two Can Play At That Game! You pettily stare unblinking at all five of them, and no one breaks the line of site or says a word. As a battle of wills that could surely last thousands of years wages, your mind starts to wander.
SunBro4Life's Comment
I wonder how I could possibly get Twilight to give me the Havoc Staff back? Knowing her and her neurotic ways I doubt she'll give it back less a friendship problem needs it to be solved. And unless Discord comes back sooner than expected, I might not see it for a year, or however long it takes to get to Season 2. Maybe I can sneak into the library while she’s distracted and take it. So what’s most distracting in Season One? Ursa Minor? Parasprites?
Flicking your stare over to Rarity, you see her actually staring horrified at your Hobo Shoes.
Quit Judging Me! Hmm…Maybe I can convince Rarity to make me Skeletor's clothes once I get on her good side. Shouldn't be too hard, just need to kiss up to her and grab some gems. Being a living mannequin is out of the question through, I will not let her put me in a dress!
You then look to Fluttershy who is still nervous, but yet her eyes don’t drop.
Hmm, If I can befriend Fluttershy, then that means I can have access to animals that could do my bidding. I could be the Beast Master as well and ride around on Harry the Bear. And you don’t screw with a guy who rides a bear! Nyeh!
Your nyeh makes her shudder a bit and you close your mouth.
Of course, that could take some time. This is Season 1 Fluttershy after all.
Looking at Rainbow and Applejack, their eyes are steeled on you, just waiting for you to do something stupid.
Ugh. These two hit hard. I wonder if I should start a workout routine while I'm here? I mean I may not be in the Doctor Who universe, but I most likely will be doing a lot of running to avoid being killed by this town’s weekly disaster. Ugh it's going to suck actually working out for once, but Skeletor is ripped, and I must shed my squishy shut in body if I want to be able to take a hit…but then again maybe I don’t have to. Maybe falling off a cliff or being flattened by an Ursa Minor isn’t so bad. I mean this is a cartoon world so it must run on that logic. Though there was how I almost died from blood lo-Why does my head hurt like hell all of a sudden?
Before you can think your brain into exhaustion even more, your mental battle of the century ends as Pinkie suddenly bursts through the kitchen doors with a stack of muffins going all the way to the ceiling, and a triple layered chocolate cake.
Oh sweet mother of all that is pastry goodness! You exclaim as drool just pours out of your mouth.
Pinkie somehow manages to keep the stack from falling as she walks over to the table and puts the two desserts down. She gives you and the others a huge smile as she says,
"Dig in!"
You happily oblige as you soon start to gorge yourself on the tastiness that is these muffins, and spoon giant mouthfuls of the cake in at the same time. You can hear Pinkie giggle while Rarity gags at your display, but you ignore them as you continue to eat. As you do Twilight begins to speak.
“Ugh, I don’t know if this thing is evil or not, but it’s manners are certainly offensive,” Rarity gags. To this you just hold up the bird, which confuses her.
“We think that means it understands you,” Foxtrot says from off to the side.
“Well if he can understand me, can’t he at least listen to my advice?”
You just shake your head as you down a glass of milk Pinkie brought out.
“Well…it’s not uncommon for wild animals to feast so when starved. Just like Pigs at a slop,” Fluttershy lectures.
“Yeah,” Applejack agrees. “Just like Henrietta.”
Did these ponies just compare me to a pig? You think indignantly as chocolate smears your face.
“Well, whatever his habits this Skeletor sure seems to be in better shape,” Twilight notes.
“Yup Yuperooni, though his back still hurts a bit,” Pinkie points out and Twilight winces.
“What’s wrong Twilight?” asks Applejack.
“That’s where I blasted him back at the castle…I suppose I should apologize…”
You are about to nod when Twilight is interrupted.
“Apologize? Why the heck would you do that?” Rainbow Dash asks flabbergasted.
“Rainbow?” Twilight questions and you glare at the speedster.
“He deserved it. He tried to end the world with Nightmare Moon,” Dash exclaims.
“Hey now, I may still be suspicious of this thing, but I did hurt it, and our orders are to-“
“I mean come on guys, he may have Princess Celestia and Pinkie fooled, but this thing is still evil!”
You stop chewing as you look at the Pegasus making a scene.
“Rainbow Dash! That’s a mean thing to say! He’s not evil!” Pinkie Pie defends.
“I saw him pledging his loyalty to Nightmare Moon. He’s still wearing the clothes she gave him!” Rainbow declares as if the others don’t believe her.
“Yeah, but Princess Luna isn’t Nightmare Moon anymore,” Pinkie argues.
“Because we hit her with the Elements. The rainbow didn’t even hit this thing, I know it’s still plotting.”
Oi! I may be plotting, but not in the way you’re thinking!
“If I remember correctly you’re the one who kicked him down the hole Rainbow Dash,” Pinkie says huffily.
“Well yeah but…” she wavers. “He knocked you out Pinkie.”
“Yeah so? It was an accident. I stand by my belief that no living thing with his beatboxing skills can be evil.”
“That doesn’t even make sense you weirdo!” Rainbow groans.
Your eyes widen in panic as the argument seems to be heading towards unwanted territory, and you see the others at a loss of what to say.
That's not good! This could ruin their friendship somehow, and Gilda hasn't even showed up yet! I have got to do something, but what!? Come on think! Think! Think!
Suddenly you get a idea as you...
Mr. Skeletor somehow knocks out Pinkie again, and that does not help the situation.
Quickly pick up a muffin and throw it at Rainbow. However your back twinges and you miss, instead hitting Pinkie right in the snooter.
“AGK! I’ve been hit!” she yells out dramatically as she falls the floor with her tongue hanging out.
What the hell?! You panic as the ponies look from the seemingly unconscious Pinkie on the ground and back to you. B-But how?
All is quiet as the ponies look at you in shock, while the guards look like they’re about to pounce you. However before anything can happen, Pinkie suddenly shoots back up with a pie in her hoof that she didn’t have before, and starts giggling like mad as yells.
"FOOD FIGHT!!!"
The pie in her hoof lands in Rainbow's face.
Three silent heartbeats later, Rainbow starts to laugh herself as she picks up a piece of the chocolate cake and throws it at Pinkie, missing her and hitting Rarity.
“My Mane! My beautiful mane!”
And then All Hell Breaks loose.
As ponies left and right begin to pick up and fire ammo, you managed to flip the table and use it as a shield from the flying pasties. Every now and again, you’ll toss one over, but you’re still hungry and you eat most of your ammo.
Eh, RWBY did it better, you judge as the friends all laugh and have a fun time.
ONE FOOD FIGHT LATER
We now find you in Pinkie's bedroom laying down on a makeshift futon. While you would have preferred a bed, you will admit that the futon is surprisingly comfortable, and large enough for you to not have to scrunch up.
Your little food fight managed to last for a good couple of hours. For a bunch of ponies who don't believe in violence you had to admit they were bloodthirsty in that little battle. You still don't understand where Pinkie got the Gatling gun with apple ammo or how Twilight knew a spell that fired eggs at people, but you decided that it was probably just another thing to jolt under 'pony land logic.'
After a ceasefire was called, Twilight gave her apology for nearly killing you, but she was still suspicious of your actions, even if she wasn’t as forthcoming as Rainbow Dash, who still glared at you after all the merriment had worn off.
The agreement for your residence was discussed, and everyone left to clean themselves.
Since you bravely hid like a coward, your makeshift poncho didn't get a speck of food on it during that entire fight, so no going commando for you. Though you really should get your underwear cleaned after a week of sleeping in them.
After showering in the ponysized bathroom, which wasn’t as hard as you thought it would be, you feel a little better getting the grime off of you.
You don't know if the food fight really got the ponies to be any less hostile towards you, but you know Pinkie definitely seemed to enjoy it, and really that’s all that matters for now. However thinking about the ponies leads you to start thinking of something else. Mainly the canon of the show and its timeline.
Allstar13521's Comment
I need to keep my impact on the timeline as low-key as possible. Things are bound to go crazy here eventually due to my presence here (stupid Murphy's law). I mean heck, Lyra’s already telling ponies in Canterlot about me, and I’m crashing with a main character who also happens to live in a town where disaster strikes every week! Discord wasn't so far off by naming this place the chaos capital of the world.
You chuckle slightly at this before you go back to thinking with a serious face.
For now it's best to keep my knowledge of their future a secret and attempt to keep things on-track as much as possible. It’s my one advantage in this crazy world, and if I change things extremely enough, I’ll be just as lost as everyone else, and I might not be able to get back home.
With these thoughts running through your head, you drift off to sleep.
Sometime Later
Denneylaw's Comment
You groggily return to the waking world as you hear Pinkie moving around. Listening carefully you hear her say.
"Hey, you know, I always wondered why they call it a hacksaw, it doesn’t hack."
Wait, where have I heard that before? You ponder as your eyes open in realization. Oh yeah. Man F#@k that creepypasta! F#@k it right to hell!
You absolutely despise Cupcakes and how it turned the happiest character in all of cartoondom into a damned monster. Though that begs the question of why those lines are being said now.
"Mmmmmmmm, rainbow frosting,” you hear her muttering as she walks in the darkness.
Oh for Christ’s Sake, please don’t actually be legit. I hate that damned-AAAAAHHHH!!!
You let out breathy silent scream and fall out of bed at the site of Pinkie holding a knife at the edge of your bed.
“Huh?! Skelly are you Okay? What’s wrong?” she asks in worry as she flips a switch and turns a lamp on.
You sit up from the ground, ready to run…but you see that the knife is just a spatula, and she is holding a baking tray.
You point at her in confusion and she says,
“I was just getting a midnight snack. Brownies topped with Rainbow Frosting made from Zap Apple Jam extract. I wanted to see if you wanted one?”
Letting out a sigh of relief, you turn down the offer of food. Too much sweets this late would keep you up.
“Alrighty then. Night Night!” she says happily as she turns the lamp off and hops to her bed in the dark.
Letting out another sigh, you lay back in bed and close your eyes. Your last thought before sleep takes you is...
Stupid grimdark trollfic making me jumpy. I wonder what'll kill me first, My Skeletor Complex or Pinkie's antics?
With that sleep takes you, and you dream of being the ruler of Snake Mountain once again.
I timeskip.
Seriously, there's nothing I need to react to here, so...
TIMESKIP!
ONE WEEK LATER
You've been trapped in Equestria for a week, and besides the fact that the ponies in town have slightly gotten used to you (less running away in fear when you approach them and more just staring) nothing has really happened.
The mane six (minus Pinkie) are still suspicious and nervous of you, a fact they seem to like making apparent everytime they see you. Twilight still hasn’t taught you to read yet, but that’s more on you as you haven’t actually gone to her Library yet, or even met Spike.
Another thing you realized is the show failed to mention how much time has pasted in-between each episode. Case in point apparently Ticket Master happened when you were K.O.'d, yet Applebuck Season is just now happening. The only reason you know this is because you are walking into town with Twilight, along with your guard escorts (You still don’t know the Stallion’s name), and she mentioned Applejacks award ceremony for saving the town from a stampede.
Apparently, you slept through that.
Why was Twilight walking with you? Because today is her day in the rotation (you spend every night and two of the days exclusively with Pinkie).
“So Mr. Skeletor…Do you have award ceremonies where you come from?” she asks nervously, trying and failing to make small talk.
You nod, not really listening to her as you set out to test something.
As much as you didn't want to mess up canon, you had made a list of episodes you would try to change for the better when they came up. Fan though you are, some clichés are just terrible.
You feel Apple Buck Season could have had the point driven home much sooner somehow, and you think that if you can somehow get involved, you would be seen in a better light for helping one of the Elements and being a part of a friendship report sent to ol' Sunbutt.
So as you, the two guards and Twilight make way towards the ceremony, you can only think of one thing.
How the hell do I help that stubborn as hell Applejack out without being bucked to the next town over?
WHAT DO YOU DO?
Episode 6: Helping Doesn't Necessarily Mean It's Helpful
As the award ceremony goes as it did in the show, your mind begins to wonder on ways to help Applejack...
The only logical solution to keep Applejack from working and asking for help, is sabotage. You have to take the wheels off of her wagons, steal and hide her baskets. And continually annoy her while she tries to work, till she either runs you off or asks for help.
There's got to be some way I can help that stubborn pony. But how....
It takes a few moments before you hear a lightbulb go off as you suddenly get an idea!
I got it! The only logical thing to do is sabotage! I'll just annoy the crap out of Applejack by taking the wheels off her wagons and hiding her baskets! She’ll get so annoyed that she'll either run me off the farm or ask her friends to help her!
You smile at your idea...till another thought occurs to you.
Wait...if I do that wouldn't that just give the girls an excuse to stone me!? They'd think I was trying to harm Applejack and not help her, and considering I can't talk...
You gulp slightly at that thought.
Okay, so sabotage is out...well sabotage with the intent of getting caught is out. I can still do it, just have to stay out of sight. Now that I have a plan A, I need a plan B. In this world I'm definitely gonna need one.
Denneylaw's Comment
Hmmm. Ya know, maybe I could help her finish. I’ll just have to do it behind her back. Maybe then she'll get done that much sooner and then get some much needed rest so she doesn't screw up helping her friends with their tasks.
Then, a revelation hits you.
But then she'll think she really did do it all by herself. Then the lesson won't be learned and she'll probably just do something like this again. AND WHO'S TO SAY IT WON'T BE WORSE NEXT TIME??!!!
You face-palm at how stupid secretly helping her out could be. If this show has taught you anything, minus the stacks of friendship lessons, it’s that not solving a problem the first time around just makes things worse later. The best examples of this to come to mind is letting Trixie and Starlight run off.
Could have avoided so many problems the first time around if you just bothered to catch them, but instead you let them get away. I wonder if I could change that without repercussions...?
As you begin to think about the consequences of solving friendship problems early, you shake your head and focus back on the Applejack problem. This tends to happen to you often, one thought process being overtaken by another.
I’ll worry about that later when I make a list of problem characters. Right now Applejack’s the problem at hand.
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
Many thoughts and strategies go through your mind as you halfway pay attention to the award ceremony where they start hyping her up. While you have made some logical decisions about what to do, a part of you feels uncertain about them. Mainly the part that remembers how that last logical decision you made ended up.
Maybe I shouldn't rely on logic for important decisions. I sure as hell don’t want any more glass in my skin, You think.
You are snapped out of your thoughts as Twilight pokes you in the leg. You look down at the unicorn to see she has a rather annoyed look on your face which causes you to chuckle.
Ah, annoyed or exasperated Twilight, always adorable and hilarious to see.
Just as you finish that thought Twilight asks you,
"The ceremony is over. What do you want to do?"
It is? You look around and see all of the ponies dispersing and wandering off, even Applejack in the distance dragging her trophy.
Wow I’ve got to quit spacing out. Turning towards the tiny librarian you realize that it is still your first day spending with her, and with Applejack having wandered off..
Now is the time to get my destiny back!
This is as good a time as any to talk about the Havoc Staff with her, and hopefully convince her to give it to you. That staff might help out with Applejack in some way after all. You whip out your trusty pad and pencil and draw an impressive picture of the Havoc Staff with a question mark next to it. Language is different, but for some reason they have near similar punctuation and symbols as English.
"Grogar's Staff?" Twilight frowns, "Princess Celestia told me you would ask about it. I honestly thought you would have demanded it as soon as you got here. I'm currently doing some tests on it." She gives you a look, "I don't plan on letting you use it anytime soon.”
Well, there goes that plan. You curse. Suddenly, an idea strikes you.
Wait a second, testing! That's the fastest way to get on Twilight's good side. Time to sacrifice my body to science! On a new piece of paper, you draw Twilight in a lab coat, and you standing next to Twilight.
Twilight blinks, "You want to do some tests with me?" She sounds rather surprised.
You barely get a nod in before she squees happily and grabs your arm with magic and drags you towards the library. I sure hope this is worth it.
MOMENTS LATER, TWILIGHTS TREEHOUSE
It was not worth it
We now find you hooked up to a bunch of high tech looking machines. Wires are all over the place, and there are at least eight different machines beeping in a rather annoying tune over and over again. While your two escorts are outside 'guarding the perimeter,' you honestly think it’s a bunch of BS and they just couldn't handle the beeping.
Some Royal Guards they are, can't even handle some beeping.
Across from you is Twilight, who is looking just adorakable with a lab coat and glasses on. She has the biggest grin you've ever seen on her face as she checks off stuff from her clipboard.
Man if this wasn't making her so happy, I soooo would have bailed by now. Probably with some excuse involving cupcakes and Pinkie. At least I’m not hooked up in the basement.
She explained to you that her lab hadn’t been set up yet, so she was just doing routine scans with what she had in the main room.
And still no sign of Spike. There’s a character I could help out with. I don’t even remember where he was in this episode.
You are taken out of your pondering as Twilight excitedly trots up to you.
"These results are just AMAZING! Not only do you appear to be a completely new species, but you have one of the most outstanding genetic makeups I've ever seen! When I tell Princess Celestia she'll blah blah science babble science babble blah blah blah."
Adorable though she may be in her current nerd state, not even you can keep up with what she's saying. And you are one of the biggest nerds out there! So instead you just drown her speech out as you look around the library. One thing in particular that catches your attention is...
Ignore purple smart for the moment while you start thanking up how your gona get fluttershy to train a beast man for you but that comes latter you need the Havoc staff first , then no one can stop Skeletor .
The Havoc Staff, up on display in the middle of the library where the horse head statue usually is. Like you it is connected by a dozen or so wires connected to slightly smaller machines.
I guess Twilight wasn't kidding when she said she was running it by some test. She should probably get that basement lab set up soon though.
As your gaze continues to linger on the staff, you mind starts to wonder to your plans of becoming the true Skeletor!
I wonder if it would be possible for Fluttershy to teach me how to control animals? Or better yet, a Diamond Dog who could command them! Then I could be one step closer from having my own Beast Man! But that comes later, first I must obtain the Havoc Staff, then no one will be able to stop the mighty Skeletor! Nyeh!!!
With your Skeletor complex induced thoughts comes rapid beeping from one of Twilights machines. This stops her in the middle of her rant as she rushes over to the machine to check it out. A few moments later you see her gasp and say,
"This is incredible! For some reason your brainwave activity has just gone off the chart! How is this possible, they were normal just a second ago!? Maybe some sort of spell or blah blah blah more science babble more science babble blah blah blah."
You ignore Twilight again as you continue to stare at the staff longingly...before you eventually sigh and think,
As for the staff, wait. Any good villain knows that patience is essential. Why kill your enemies yourself, when in fifty or so years, they can just die? (seriously, be patient. sooner or later, there will be a reason to give it back.)
As much as I want the staff now, I should probably just wait. Any good villain knows that patience is essential after all. Besides it’s not like anything is going to try and kill me directly any time soon. Just need to avoid that Ursa Minor and the Dragon when those episodes happen. As some villain probably once said, 'Why kill your enemies yourself, when in fifty or so years, they can just die?'
However before you can continue your thoughts, you suddenly hear...something.
You gain a confused look as you look around to see what's causing the noise, but to no effect. You notice that Twilight is still babbling. So you try to get her attention by waving your arms back and forth insanely. This has its attended effect as she gives you a confused look before walking over to you and asking,
"What's the matter? Why are you-mmph!"
You shush Twilight via hand to mouth as you cup your ear. Twilight gives you another confused look, before she also starts to look around as she takes her snout out of your hand.
"What's that sound? It isn't one of my machines is it?"
You shrug your shoulders since you have no clue.
It sounds like its getting...closer? In fact it sounds kinda like a jet engine cras-
*SMASH*
Something blue smashes through the library wall and crashes right into you. All the wires connected to you go flying off as you slam into the ground. You hold you head in pain as you think,
Ugh...what the hell hit m-
Your eyes widen in surprise as you see...
Oh, and every time Rainbow crashes into Skeletor, they end up kissing by accident now.
Rainbow Dash on top of you, but the worst part is....
Her lips are right on top of yours.
You and Rainbow stare at each other for a good couple of seconds in shock, before you do the most logical thing. You push the Rainbow pony of you before spitting on the ground rapidly.
OH GOD I JUST KISSED A PONY! Oh god this is so gross! Dirt, I need dirt and water and soap and something! Evil poisonous horse spit! Gah!
Rainbow seems to be on a similar mindset as you, but unlike you she can actually vocalize her thoughts.
"SWEET CELESTIA UGH! I can't believe I just kissed the ape thing! Oh Celesita no! *spitting noises* Oh this is so not awesome!"
Your escorts bust open the door and Foxtrot yells out,
"Ms. Sparkle are you alright?! We heard...a...crash?"
The scene the two guards are welcomed to is you and Rainbow shoving as much dirt from a potted plant as possible into your mouths, while off to the side Twilight is staring at the scene in both amusement and befuddlement. The two guards look at each other before Foxtrot awkwardly says,
"Well...since nopony seems to be injured by the creature...we'll just go back to our post."
And they do just that, leaving you and Rainbow to suffer. Twilight eventually comes to her senses though.
"Uh Rainbow...did you need something? Besides a bill for the new hole in my home?"
You ignore whatever it is Rainbow replies, because you remember exactly why she’s crashing here.
Oh right, I forgot...Applejack causes more problems than just her health....ugh.
MOMENTS LATER, SWEET APPLE ARCS
Ugh...I feel like I may have stuffed too much dirt into my mouth.
You, Twilight, and your escorts are now on your way to visit Applejack to discuss the little...accident she caused with Rainbow and by extension you. Of course you being you plan on giving Applejack a piece of your mind for causing such a traumatic event on your fragile mind.
We'll see if you can keep bucking if you’re missing your precious buckets! Nyeh!
And since Rainbow Dash flew off in rage and embarrassment, You and the rest eventually find Applejack, and just like in the episode you all find her bucking a single tree...and hitting her head on a branch.
Ouch! That looked like it hurt, you wince as it strikes her. Ah well I guess karma has been served. Still gonna steal those buckets though.
Twilight signals you all to stay back as she goes to talk with Applejack. You grin at this as you see your chance to sabotage the apple bucking pony, but then your grin falters as you realize your two escorts probably wouldn't allow you to sneak away.
Unless I can get rid of these two I'll never get any work done, you sigh having not factored Foxtrot and the still nameless stallion into your plans. There has to be something I can do to avoid rancid cupcakes and adorable stampedes of doom. Unless…
Before you can continue your thought, suddenly...
Kersey475's Comment
The theme song from one of your favorite crime shows starts to play in your head.
Of course! All I need to do to avoid ruin is act like a smartass, 90's reference spewing, fake psychic and have 'visions' of the future when in reality I'm just showing how the episode will turn out! Man I impress myself sometimes with how great my ideas are! Now... Your eyes dim slightly.
If only I had a goofy but lovable side-kick who would play along with my lie to seal the deal. Oh well, let’s hope Twilight is feeling gullible today!
MEANWHILE AT SUGARCUBE CORNER
Just as Pinkie is hoofing out another order her eyes both start to twitch and her mouth curls upwards. The ponies give Pinkie a weird look, while she just gives an excited gasp as she says,
"Oh two eye twitches and a lip curl! Somepony needs me to be a goofy sidekick!"
The ponies just shrug it off as Pinkie being Pinkie before continuing on with their day.
BACK WITH YOU
Weird, feels like I set something into motion I shouldn't have. Oh well. You shiver slightly.
You see Twilight walking back over to you and the escorts with a frown.
Showtime, you smirk.
Just as Twilight reaches you, you make your eyes glaze over, and begin to move your body and arms in a possessed like manner. While the guards glare at you in suspicion, Twilight looks at you in worry.
"Skeletor are you okay? Don't tell me my test had some sort of delayed side effects?!"
You ignore Twilights concern as you begin to draw onto your pad an apple with "Zzzzz" above it and with a line through it, then an equal sign. You then start running around in a circle and fall to the ground before scratching out a picture of a cupcake with stinklines.
As your 'episode' ends you pant and wipe sweat from your brow. Twilight looks between you and the symbols with curiosity as you tap the pad urgently.
Come on Twilight, figure it out...
“He must have just had a stroke or something. You two meet us at the library,” she orders the guards.
No wait no! That’s not-
She then teleports the both of you and you find yourself back in the library.
DAMMIT TWILIGHT YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE THE SMART ONE!!!
AN HOUR LATER
So after spending another hour of Twilight making sure your blood pressure, heart rate, etc were normal, you were finally allowed to go back to the Cake's bakery so Twilight could write her findings in peace.
Stupid Smart Twilight Making Me Lose Time!
You try to get there as fast as possible, knowing that if you don’t Pinkie might suffer the same fate of the rest the town due to Applejack’s tiredness.
Your escorts are suspicious, but they don’t try to stop you. They just keep with your pace and stay stone silent as usual.
As you round the corner, you finally see the Cake's Bakery. But much to your dismay you already see a bunch of ponies snacking on the tainted muffins. Fear grips your heart as you rush into the bakery and see...
Also, ensure Pinkie Pie does not get poisoned by the baked bads. Try to get Applejack to eat them so she's too sick to work, and give one to Foxtrot because she's mean and you hate her.
Pinkie about to down two of the tainted pastries. Since you can’t yell in warning, you instead do the next best thing. You rush forth and tackle Pinkie to the ground.
Pinkie just giggles at your action, but you ignore it as you pick up the two terrible muffins, get off of Pinkie, and then make a bunch of motions that mean 'no, don't eat.'
Pinkie looks confused at this.
"Why don't you want me to eat them Skelly? Me and Applejack made them."
You give her a deadpanned look as you 'say,'
That's the problem, Applejack made them.
Before you can try to tell Pinkie about the bad muffins, you notice your two escorts finally entering the building. You hear a light bulb go off as you smile evilly.
Why hello two birds, let me give ya a stone!
You motion to Pinkie a 'let me show you' gesture before walking over to your two escorts and hand them the muffins. They give you a suspicious glare, but you just gesture/explain they were made by Pinkie. This causes their doubts to go away as they eat the muffins.
You walk back over to Pinkie, who still has a confused look on her face.
"I don't get it, and that's saying something."
You just make a 'eh' motion as you 'say,'
Give it a minute or two
A MINUTE OR TWO LATER
"Oh...that's what you meant."
We now find you and Pinkie in an improvised medical tent where half of the Ponyville residents are at due to the baked bads. From what you hear they all have a really bad stomach flu and won't be going anywhere till it passes. Luckily that includes your two escorts, so now you can get to Applejack and stop her before she causes a bunny stampede.
Of course before you can do any of that, you need a crowbar to get Pinkie to dislodge from your chest.
"Oh thank you thank you thank you Skelly! If you didn't stop me from eating those baked bads I would be all icky like everypony else! Wait a sec..."
Pinkie let's go of you and has a look of suspicion in her eyes.
"How could you have possibly known about those baked bads? Unless..."
Unless what? Unless I have eagle eyes or a bloodhound’s nose? What pony? What?!
"*Gasp* You must be psychic!"
Or that, that works too.
You nod your head at Pinkie's assumption, to which this only causes her to gasp again (jumping in air and all).
"Then I have to throw a 'my friend is a psychic' party! I haven't had one of those in...well never! Ooooo, this is going to be so awesome! Finally somepony who can appreciate my Pinkie Sense!"
With that the pink bundle of joy is gone in a puff of smoke, probably to invite whoever isn't sick to your party.
Well...at least I have an excuse to warn them about canon events now. There is so much I can take advantage of with this…But for now I can finally get to work on stopping Applejack.
With a two finger salute to your escorts (to which they glare at you before vomiting) you make your way towards Sweet Apple Acres unescorted, but not before making a quick stop at the Cake’s fridge.
SOMETIME LATER, SWEET APPLE ACRES
Greatness942's Comment
You finally arrive at the orchard, after having to hide from an annoyed looking Twilight heading back from the farm. You swore you heard her mention your name and those bad muffins, but you were too busy focusing on hiding to pay attention.
Anyway, you now see Applejack already working tirelessly to buck the apple trees, and thus you go over to her. When she sees you, she backs up.
"Oh no, you don't! You ain't sabotagin' mah apple trees!" she says, otherwise ignoring your presence by kicking apples down from a tree.
You make a grunting sound and think,
I wasn't going to do that, AJ, jeez...well at least not the trees. Everything else is free game. But anyway, for my next glimpse into the future, next you'll say "Confound it, what do you want, then?" Please work, I'm all healed up!
When Applejack turns back to see you, she grits her teeth hard and shouts,
"Counfound it, what do yah want, then?!"
To her bafflement, you suddenly gain a large grin and make an airy squeeing noise as you pump your arm in success.
It worked! Thank you, rest and recuperation at the Cake's Bakery! Still need to work on that Hamon and Stand thing. Hermit Purple would be nice to-
An "ahem" interrupts you, and stand up, clearing your throat. You point to a nearby apple tree and slap your leg.
Ima let you finish bucking these trees, but I need training. So lemme help, tiredness is bad.
Applejack, you’re great and all, and I’m gonna let you finish bucking these trees, But tiredness is bad and I need to bulk up! So let me take care of this.
Applejack raises a sleepy eye lid at you before chuckling.
"Oh, no, partner, ah got this. Besides, ah don't trust y'all enough to know you won't make a mess outta mah farm. And you're too scrawny."
In defiance, you huff up and kick a nearby tree.
Sunlight Yellow Overdrive!!! You yell, trying to will Hamon with your breathing. No yellow sparks show up, but surprisingly the tree starts to rattle and you look back to Applejack with a smug grin, before a single apple falls and smacks your head, stunning you and making you fall to the ground. While still conscious, you swear you see birds all around you.
Pretty birdies....why are you doing laps round my head?
Shaking your head to rid yourself of the birds, you look up to see Applejack chuckling at your misfortune.
I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, but you leave me no choice AJ...
With that thought you slowly reach into your poncho and pull out…
Maybe to help apple jack you need to get her drunk or something maybe it will get her to calm down
Jaro45's Comment
A bottle of some sort of alcohol. You know its alcohol cause it’s in a brown bottle, and it was hidden behind the vegetables in the Cakes shop. The only reason it would be behind there is because the Cakes wouldn't want Pinkie getting a hold of it. That’s your thinking anyway.
God help us all if Pinkie ever gets smashed.
Applejack notices your bottle, and while you suspected a suspicious glare you instead got a happy smile.
"Well I'll be! Is that some of mah farm’s cinder? Ah' could go for a drink, got a mighty thirst from all this hard work."
You nod your head in understanding as you hand the half asleep pony the bottle of “cider”. Popping open the cap she holds it out in cheers to you.
"Yah know, you ain't so bad. Anypony willing to share a cider is fine in mah book!"
And with that she does a quick chug...
And then another...
And another...
And another....
And now the bottle is empty. You can only stare in wonder at what just happened in dread.
Oh hell...she was only supposed to take a sip to get alcohol on her breath, now I owe the Cake’s beer. I wonder if they'll take manual labor as payment?
Before you can think too much on how to pay back the Cakes, Applejack starts giggling as she starts to sway back and forth. Before you can even say anything she gives a loud hiccup and belch before face planting on the ground unconscious.
Huh...looks like her tolerance is low when she’s running on no sleep. Guess my uncanny ability to knock ponies out shines though once again.
Your original plan was going to be leading the tired Applejack into town smelling like alcohol so that when the ponies saw her ‘hammered’ they'd figure she was drinking from all the stress. From there they'd have to help no matter what so she wouldn't drink herself into oblivion.
But hey getting her drunk enough to pass out works too, less work for me. Now let’s get you into bed so I can get the girls over here to do the rest of the work.
With that thought you lift the drunk pony onto your back. You hiss slightly at this since its still sore, but you deal with it as you begin to walk towards the farm. Holding the pony with both hands while your cane rests in your arm pit. As you listen to Applejack snores you start to think,
Wow...this is actually going pretty smoothly. You'd think something would go wrong by no-
"What in Tarnation?!"
You eyes widen in surprise as you turn around to see...
Big Mac, with his broken ribs still wrapped staring you down with a shocked look. He’s nowhere near your size, coming up to your belly, by he is solidly built, and you are holding his unconscious little sister.
Should have just shut up, but no I had to enact Murphy's Law! You panic with a nervous chuckle.
As you and Big Mac continue to stare each other down, there is only one logical conclusion that you can come to solve this peacefully. You decide to...
Act like this is the most boring, most mundane task in the world. Just keep walking.
Put on your 'bored out of your mind' face and begin to walk forward like this is the most mundane task in the world. You walk slowly as to not startle Big Mac, and you make sure to keep your face set in bored mode as best you can. As you are walking you continually think in your head,
Just keep walking, just keep walking. Ignore the big stallion and just keep swim-walking.
You manage to walk past a stunned Big Mac and get a decent couple of feet away from the pony, until he apparently snaps out of it and yells out to your retreating form,
"Wait consarnit! Where are ya'll taking mah sister!?"
You contemplate ignoring the big guy, but decide against it since you have no clue as to how he'd react if you did. Well...you figured he'd try to kill you, but you didn't want to think too much on it. So instead you simply sigh before turning around to face him.
He doesn't appear angry, just confused. You thank the heavens for that as you really don't want to have to deal with an angry stallion. Injured or not he'd be able to do some damage to you.
Now how exactly can I communicate with him? Can't exactly beat box while I'm holding AJ. Maybe I can...
Completely oblivious to the obvious idea of simply setting Applejack down to perform your beat boxing skills, you instead have a completely rational and logical idea. You give Big Mac a look as you...
Answer his question in the form of a interpretative dance.
Proceed to perform a number of confusing, and downright strange, dance moves. You incorporate Applejack into your performance, using her sleeping figure to perform some form of tango...or is it some other dance? It honestly looks like you’re having a spaz attack while at the same time trying to court Applejack’s snoozing form.
To be honest folks, no cosmic force in the universe knows what in God’s name you are doing. It's just very...interpretative I guess?
Anyway moving on, a few minutes pass of this before you place Applejack back on your back and bow, breathing heavily the entire time as you give him a look.
Ha! My awesome interpretative dance moves clearly show how I just want to put AJ to bed so she can get some rest! Take that dance class of snobs for thinking I'd never be able to pull it off! My interpretative skills are just as good as my beat boxing/dance skills!
Of course as you’re thinking all this you don't notice how Big Mac's once confused look somehow managed to get even more confused. In fact it looks like Big Mac just experienced Pinkie Pie's...Pinkieness for the first time, only ten times over. This is only proven even more when Big Mac lets out a simple "Wha..." for a good solid couple of seconds.
Big Mac's 'Wha' snaps you out of your thoughts, and causes you to lift from your bow.
Well I guess some ponies aren't just that knowledgeable in the art of interpretive dance. What can I do to explain to Big Mac what's going on without looking like I'm kidnapping his sister for some evil scheme? Which makes no sense since she's neither a princess and there's no plumber around for me to torment with 8 worlds.
As you ponder, Big Mac comes down from his confusion, and indignation reappears.
"Alright creature! Enough of this silly business! What are ya doing with mah sister!?"
You would have been surprised at how many words Big Mac said, but you were too busy gulping in fear at the fire in his eyes to really dwell on the thought.
Oh crap he's getting mad! Come on brain, think of something before he starts charging!
You focus all your mind’s power into thinking of a solution, and when you finally come up with one...you facepalm from shear stupidty.
Oh son of a-am I really that stupid!? It's always the obvious solution that I ignore or don't follow!
With that thought you...
BrownDog's Comment
Act calm and rational for a change. You set the pony down on the ground slowly and gently, making sure you don’t spook the red stallion.
He's injured, just like me. The last thing we want is to get hurt more. We can all be rational here.
He follows your movements, never taking his eyes off you.
“Alright monster, what exactly are you doing with her?”
You calmly pull your pad and paper from your Poncho and sketch a bed, hold it out to him, then you point at yourself, then to AJ, then tap the picture.
I was just going to lie her down for a nap big guy. No need to be upse-
"Ya'll was trying to take mah sister to bed?!!!" he shouts in teeth clenched outrage, a fire burning in his eyes.
WHAT?! NO, NO! Not like that! What is up with you ponies?! I'm not some sort of weird sex pervert!!! you wave frantically trying to get him off that train of thought.
Of course the minute you think that...
Denneylaw's Comment
"Big Mac? I heard shouting, are you alri-*gasp*!"
You and Big Mac both look towards the source of the voice...and you immediately grip your heart as it starts to beat crazily. For there before you in all her adorableness is Applebloom, and the look she has on her face is just increasing her adorableness.
Oh god I'm gonna die from adorable overload! She's just so-gahhhh! I see the light, it’s full of adorable kittens and rabbits! I'm coming Mr. Whiskers!
As you are having your little adorable induced panic attack Applebloom looks between you, her sister, and Big Mac for a few seconds before she gets a determined look and shouts.
"Hey, you monster!! Leave mah family alone!!!"
She then adorably charges at you, much to Big Mac's surprise, and proceeds to kick you with her hooves over and over again. However you are still too blinded in adorableness induced shock.
Oh there is so many fluffy things here! Is this adorable heaven!? I think my heart is about to bur-is something hitting my leg?
You snap out of your adorable induced shock as you look down to investigate....only to go into adorable cardiac arrest at the sight of Applebloom trying and failing to hurt you.
"Take that you no good varmint! I won't let ya hurt mah sister!"
“HRK!”
And now both your hands are clutching your heart as you fall over right on top of Applejack. Applebloom looks at you in shock before looking at her hooves.
"Ah guess I'm stronger then Ah thought. Did ya see that Big Mac?!"
Meanwhile you are lost in cuteness overload land.
Nothing can ruin this adorable high I am on right now. NOTHING! If I died right now I’d-Why does my mouth feel wet and salty?
You open your eyes to find your lips locked with the unconscious Applejack after having fell on her.
“Big Mac! What’s it doing to Applejack?!” Applebloom’s shocked voice rings out, followed by a very angry snort.
OH GOD! NOT AGAIN!!! you jump up and begin to spit as you start eating handfuls of dirt again.
WHAT THE HELL?! I GOT KISSED BY A PONY...AGAIN! Ew Ew Ew Ew! I’m gonna get tetanus or something!
Eventually, after a good couple handfuls of dirt, you calm down enough to look over at Big Mac and Applebloom. While Applebloom seems sort of curious about your dirt eating habits, Big Mac on the other hand has a look of righteous fury.
I didn’t meant to do that, I swear! Better do something fast before he murders me.
You…
Jaro45's Comment
Allstar13521's Comment
Hold up your hands before reaching into your poncho and pulling out the empty beer bottle (You’re no litterer) and rolling it over to him. He looks at in confusion before he begins to inspect it. When he sniffs it, his eyes widen in realization before he gains a blank look and suddenly covers Appleblooms ears.
"Hey Big Mac! What's the deal!?"
He ignores his sisters squirming as he stares at you.
"Are ya telling me...mah sister is drunk?"
Finally! communication works without a misunderstanding happening! You nod enthusiastically.
Big Mac keeps his stoic look as he asks,
"And you, knowing that she was drunk, was still going to take her to her bed?"
You pale considerably at his phrasing.
Ehehehe...looks like I thought too soon on the whole 'no misunderstanding thing.' Maybe showing the bottle was a bad idea.
You give a hesitant nod, to which Big Mac responds by…
Greatness942's Comment
Putting Applebloom off to the side and then rushing forward and bucking you, sending you flying across the ground. In pain, Big Mac clutches his ribs, and as you count stars, you realize something. Well...you also wonder how you survived being bucked by a fully grown stallion even if he’s the size of Great Bernard, but you mostly realize something.
Hold on...I have more Joseph Joestar than "Your next line is-" quotes. I have more Skeletor than "NYEH!" So...combine the cleverness of the former with the evil of the latter.
With an evil grin, you stand up and turn to Big Mac, before positioning yourself in front of a still full apple tree. You then provoke him by lifting your mahagonay cane in front of you and start doing the can can whilst trying to beat box the tune.
Big Mac, in a protective fury, growls and uses the last of his strength to propel himself at you. At the last second, you make a decent leap and grab a branch, hoisting you up above Big Mac. Before he can even react, he smacks into the tree and falls over, causing all of the apples to smack into him. You briefly consider also landing on him, but think against it as you instead let go and fall on the soft ground.
Haha! Eat your hearts out, realistic self-insert fan-fiction OC’s. In real life, you use your smarts to-
"Big Mac!"
Your thoughts are interrupted by the distressed cries of Applebloom. Who rushes over to her brother, and you notice the tears starting to fall from her face.
All amount of pride at your accomplishment is immediately replaced with guilt.
And I just made an adorable filly cry. Way to go jackass!
Giving a distressed sigh you kneel down next to the sad filly and her brother. This causes her to tense as she gets in front of her brother defensively.
"Ba-back off ya monster! Ah won't let you hurt mah family no more! Ya-ya hear me?!"
You would have found this adorable if it weren't for the fact she was shaking like a leaf the entire time she said that.
Dear lord I don't think I've ever felt like such a jackass before in my entire life! I guess the Apples are now on the list of ponies I need to apologize to and try and make up to them, you wallow as the guilt stabs through you.
You draw on your notepad Big Mac’s cutiemark, followed by a bunch of zzz’s, then an equal sign and a medical cross.
She raises a brow at this.
“Y-Ya want to get them some medicine?”
You give her a close enough hand wave as you kneel down and draw the peace symbol on the paper.
She still seems nervous, so you slowly put your hand out to calm the filly down by patting her head. This surprisingly works as she sighs and leans into it like a puppy would.
"You...you’re not gonna hurt mah brother and sister no more?"
You smile your best comforting smile as you draw a picture of Applejack and Big Mac's cutie marks with an arrow pointing to the farm house. Applebloom looks at the note for a few seconds before nodding in understanding.
"Ya want to bring them back to the farm? Is that what ya mean?"
You nod your head again as you try to pick Big Mac up. It takes all your willpower, but you somehow manage to do it. He's a lot heavier then Applejack, and your lack of muscle doesn't make carrying him easier. Plus your back is screaming at you to stop, so you have to put him down.
Applebloom looks at you in confusion, before seemingly realizing your plight.
"Ah guess Big Mac might be a tiny bit too heavy for ya mister. But how are we gonna get mah sister and him back if you can't carry em?"
You think on this for a bit, before snapping your fingers as you figure out a plan. You draw a wagon and show it to the little filly, before then pointing at Big Mac and Applejack. Applebloom smiles and nods her head in understanding before rushing off.
A few seconds later she's back with a empty wagon. You can't stop yourself from patting her head in appreciation.
Sweet, now I won't break my back! Hopefully things go easy now with the wagon.
With that thought you load the two unconscious ponies onto the wagon, and both you and Applebloom start to head back to the farmhouse. While doing so you try to have some small talk with Applebloom, but it eventually breaks down to you playing 'guess the picture' with the young filly.
Which you don't mind, considering just how dang adorable she is.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
As you and Applebloom get to the farm, you unload both apple siblings from the wagon. Figuring that Applejack was the main priority you pick her up and head into the house with Applebloom. As you both enter Applebloom shouts out,
"Granny I'm back! And ah brought a friend!"
After her announcement you see good old Granny Smith come out from what you assume was the kitchen. She has a kind elderly smile on her face.
"Nice to see ya got your chores down early little one. Now how about some apple pi-WHAT IN TARNATION?!" she shouts causing you to wince.
Geeze for old pony she sure does have a pair of lungs.
Granny Smith continues to look at you in shock, before coughing into her hoof before she says,
"Ah sorry about that sonny. Your...uh...appearance just gave my old bones a little shock is all. Now mind telling me why mah granddaughter is sleeping on yer back?"
Well this is a first, you sputter in surprise, a pony being reasonable. Well better no look a gift horse in the mouth. Literally.
With that you set Applejack down on a nearby couch, before pulling out your notepad and drawing...
Kersey475's Comment
A jug with "xxx" on it (universal sign for moonshine) next to a plus sign with Applejack then equal sign with Zzzzzzzz.
Applebloom cocks her head before she asks,
“You was all playing tic tac toe and she fell asleep from being thirsty?”
Before you can shake your head, Granny chuckles nervously.
“Um, why don’t you go get that pie out of the oven would you Bloom, I’ll talk to yer “Friend” here.”
“Yeah alright, but don’t keep him too long. Big Mac’s still out in the wagon after he hit his noggin trying to pummel him,” she says as she walks into the kitchen.
The old mare gives you an inquisitive glance as you chuckle and rub the back of your neck.
Do ponies seriously not have a filter on their phrasing?
Once Applebloom is gone though, the old mare gives you an incredulous look.
“So yer saying my granddaughter went and tick a nip of the good stuff and passed out from it?”
Oh wow she’s perceptive.
As you nod she snorts and shakes her head.
“Not that I’m calling you a liar or anything, whatever it is you are, but that don’t sound like Applejack. She knows better than to drink in the middle of the day. Especially since it’s Applebuck season, she needs all the strength she can get since Big Mac went and injured himself.” She gets closer to Applejack and sniffs before wrinkling her nose.
“Are ya sure that’s what happened?”
You shrug as if to say you found her like that and she just sighs.
“Well whatever happened, I’m just glad she’s finally taking a rest. Poor child has been running herself ragged. I’d help if my hip would let me, and Applebloom is still too little.”
Letting out another sigh she looks back up at you.
“Well don’t stand there gawking mystery creature. Applejack talked about you staying in town and all. Make yourself useful and go get my Grandson and bring him inside. We’ll talk more over lunch.”
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
We now find you sitting at the table with the Apples, eating pie with them. Applebloom is to your left with an apologetic looking Big Mac to your right. At the head of the table is Granny Smith, and Applejack is upstairs taking a well deserved (read: forced) nap.
Now the reason Big Mac seems so apologetic is that after he woke up he tried to will his ribs to heal out of sheer determination so he could pummel you five ways to next week, but after Granny Smith dragged him off by the ear and had a...uh talk with him he seemed to calm down.
Needless to say, you are terrified of whatever Granny did to Big Mac and do not what to be on the receiving end of whatever it was. But now that you think about he is sitting pretty awkwardly...nah you’re just imagining things.
Anyway, as you eat your pie you only have one thing on your mind.
I really thought this would taste better, You think sourly, All of my expectations from reading fanfiction has been destroyed. I mean it’s not bad, but it’s not substantial. It’s about the same as the ones you get at a Walmart. You take another bite, weeping inside at your tragic situation.
"Hey, Ahm sorry about earlier,” Big Mac interrupts your inner turmoil after clearing his throat.
You nod and give him a thumbs up, which he looks at strangely. You realize your mistake and go to brofist (hoof?) him, and he understands you and his hoof meets your fist.
Eeee! My first brohoof! You squee excitedly.
This monumental moment is utterly ruined by Twilight Sparkle as she bursts through the door.
“Applejack! Where are you? Have you seen…Skeletor?”
Twilight looks in confusion at you sitting (or rather kneeling) at the Apple family dinner table with all of AJ’s family.
“She’s asleep?” Twilight says in surprise before she sighs out in relief. Her face then becomes serious and sour again though as she says,
“And to answer your question, HE’s Skeletor, and he’s supposed to be under the eyes of either myself, or a pair of guards, but he ran off.”
She then walks up to the table and glares at you.
“Pinkie told me you were psychic because you knew her muffins were contaminated and saved her. If that’s true, then I’ll definitely want to run more tests, but she also told me you willingly gave them to the guards. Did you?!”
Ummm…
“And a couple ponies in town saw you with a bottle of some sort of alcohol. Who gave that to you? We have no idea what effects it could have on your alien system.”
Granny raises an eyebrow at you after hearing that.
Aw Crap. Stupid nosey ponies not minding their own business.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
Episode 8: For Once An Explanation Kinda Sorta Goes As Planned
As you start to sweat nervously with all eyes are on you, there is really only one thing you can think of...
Blame it on beastman. Its always beastmans fault!! Somehow.
Damn it Beastman! I don't know how, but I just know you’re the one to blame for this! I swear next time I see you I'll be demoting you to janitorial duty! Nyeh!
To complete your thoughts you gain an angry face and shake your fist into the air. This of course causes the surrounding ponies to look at you weirdly as Applebloom asks,
"Uh...What's it doing?"
"I do believe it is a he Applebloom,” Granny Smith answers, “And ah think he might be shaking his...whatever in anger."
Applebloom makes an adorable 'ooooh' sound, which snaps you out of your delusional anger towards Beastman. However before you can go into yet another adorable coma Twilight says,
"Well I don't care if it-he's angry! I want to know just what in the hay he's been doing!"
To this you respond with...
Put on the most unimpressed face you can and try to convey "you're not my mum" with pictures, realise she won't get it, crumple it up and remind her to teach you how to read. The look of insulted frustration is very important to sell the deal.
The most unimpressed face you can.
"What's with the look?! I'm asking a reasonable question here!" Twilight huffs.
You just continue to hold that look as you proceed to draw multiple pictures that all convey the one thing on your mind.
You’re not my mom Twilight! I don't have to answer any questions you ask me because you hold no power over me! All you have is magic and access to a sun goddess with weapons that can turn me to sto-why am I trying to annoy you again?
Twilight just stares at the pictures in confusion, although you guess you can’t blame her, all you’ve drawn is the Nirvana Album Cover with the dead smiley face.
"I'm sorry, but I have no clue as to what this means. Maybe you should try writing what you mean...what's with that look?"
Said look is one of utter insulted frustration, followed by a face-palm at how Twilight forgot that you still cannot write or read their language.
Geeze Twilight! You’re supposed to be the smart one, how can you forget the alien being can't understand your writing? You sigh before drawing out a picture trying to remind Twilight of this fact. You draw a book in a circle with a line in it, before pointing to your eyes and shaking your head.
"Oh right! You still can't read or write our language yet!” she chuckles in embarrassment. “I can't believe I forgot about that. Hopefully soon we can address that huh?"
You nod your head at this while keeping a blank look, but on the inside you’re cheering.
Yes! Now hopefully I can learn their language to the soothing voice of Tara Strong. As a plus side, she looks like she’s forgotten about-
"Wait a minute! Your just trying to distract me aren't you!?" she accuses suddenly, the frustration returning to her face.
I just had to jinx it, didn't I? you face-palm again. Well...they say honesty is the best policy right? Plus she sorta thinks I'm psychic so...
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
You proceed to draw a series of pictures describing what happened. You draw an all seeing illuminati eye, then you show yourself with lines to indicate you seeing a vision of an overworked Applejack via showing her bucking with a bunch of zzzs above her head crossed out, and then and equal sign next to a drawing showing Ponyville on fire.
You then draw you getting the idea to give Applejack a bottle, and then draw her drinking too much and passing out. This entire process takes you several minutes before you finish and hand it to Twilight, making sure you have everything numbered in a chronological order, even if she can't read your numbers, she should be able to understand what you mean.
She takes the pad from you, and you flex your sore hand.
I really hope I can get a better form of communication soon. My poor hand is suffering.
Twilight finishes looking through your drawings and gives the pad back to you. "So let me see if I understand this," she starts. "You had a vision of Applejack overworking herself?"
You nod.
"Which would have resulted with a disaster in Ponyville?"
Another nod.
"So you decided that you would give her alcohol, causing her to pass out?"
You nod thirdly with a guilty look to Granny Smith and you give the “kind of” hand wave.
Twilight sighs and rubs her head,
"Why didn't you just tell me or any of my friends if there was going to be a disaster?"
You proceed to glare at Twilight.
She looks confused before she manages to remember,
"Wait, that seizure you had earlier, was that your vision?"
You nod a fourth time. Your neck is getting weary of nodding.
She has the decency to look embarrassed,
"Oh, um, sorry?"
You nod her head at her apology, but before you can 'say' anything else she asks,
"But wait, if that's the case then why did you give your escorts those rotten muffins? Wouldn't they have been able to help you out?"
To that you draw...
Say you gave the guards the cupcakes because you thought it'd be easier than waiting for everyone else to get sick and you didn't want Pinkie to be sick as well.
A Cupcake with stink lines with arrows pointing to Pinkie Pie’s Cutie Mark with hearts above it, then the Foxtrot and the other Guard’s cutie marks with X’s over them, followed by a clock face, and Applejack’s cutie mark.
Twilight raises her eye at this.
“Okay, I can see you like Pinkie and dislike the guards obviously…” she starts, “A clock and Applejack…Did you think getting them sick would give you more time to stop Applejack somehow?”
You nod your head again, which causes you to wince cause now you can really feel a notch forming from all the nodding.
God I miss being able to say yes or no. Life was so much easier and less straining to my neck.
"Okay, while I appreciate you stopping my friend from getting her stomach pumped I still think there must have been an easier way than getting two other ponies sick,” she chides.
You point back to the clock and insinuate it counting down.
"Well I guess you were running out of time. Still you better apologize to them after they’re back to full health!" she orders and you reluctantly agree.
I'll apologize alright, but I won't mean it! Those jerks had it coming for not bothering to treat me with the respect I deserve! As well as for acting like I don't exist till something goes wrong! The stallion hasn’t even told me his name! Twilight smiles at your agreement.
"Good, now come on. With Applejack in bed maybe we can actually help her ou-"
"Now wait one moment, ah think we're forgetting something here!" Granny Smith interrupts.
"Now that we know what ya been doing, I'd like to know why ya'll thought getting mah granddaughter drunk was the best solution?!"
To this you chuckle nervously before you do what you do best...
If at all possible explain to Granny Smith that you can't read and therefore didn't realise it was alcohol until Applejack passed out then apologise about lying because you thought it'd be awkward to explain.
Stretch the truth as far as possible.
You draw on your notepad of you looking at the bottle surrounded by question marks. Granny Smith is intrigued by this as she asks,
"Wait...so you had no clue that there bottle was alcoholic because you couldn't read it?"
You nod your head at this, which only causes Twilight to groan.
"That doesn't make any sense! You told us that your plan was to get Applejack drunk, so if you didn't know it was alcohol then why did you take it in the first place!?"
You shake your head no at this as you draw a picture of you giving the bottle to Applejack, and then you taking a drink, then the both of you working on the trees together, followed by the non burning Ponyville. Applebloom's eyes widen at the picture as she gasps.
"Ah got it! He wanted ta get on Applejack's good side so she'd let him help her! So he wanted to share a drink because he thought she'd be thirsty from all the hard work, and that way he’d save the town!"
You pat Applebloom’s head at this while smiling.
Not even close, but it’s still the truth since I did want to get on her good side. Getting her drunk and leading her into town would just be an added benefit.
"So getting mah sister drunk...was an accident?"
You nod your head at Big Mac's guess while miming her chugging the whole thing and you raising your shoulders in a “What Could I Do?” shrug.
Getting this drunk to pass out wasn’t what I wanted. She just wouldn't stop chugging...that sounds wrong.
Granny Smith looks between you and the other apples before saying,
"Well if that's what ya say. I still don't believe that's the entire truth, but as long as you’re sorry then I'm willing to let it slide."
To this you nod your head in an enthusiastic, yet humble, way. This causes Granny to smile as do the rest of the apples, but out of the corner of your eye you see Twilight eyeing you suspiciously.
Oh so now you’re smart enough to think something’s suspicious?! I swear you must have a selective intelligence or something.
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
Sunbro4life's Comment
Before you can think of a way to throw Twilight off, you hear scrabbling from upstairs and suddenly Applejack stumbles into the room, her eyes red and she’s swaying.
Huh. Guess her tolerance is better that I thought.
She then locks eyes on you (as best as she can in her drunken/exhausted state) and warbles.
“That wasn’t *Hic* Cider you sassafrassin liar!”
“Applejack, calm down. You need your rest. We’re already discussing Skeletor’s mis-“ Twilight tries to explain, but gets interrupted.
“I don’t need no rest! I can do it myself!” she grunts as she stumbles to the table. “And You! What did you do after I fell asleep?”
I didn’t do anything! What’s with the accusations?
“It’s alright sis,” Applebloom chimes in.
Thank You Avatar of Cuteness.
“Skeletor here took you to bed. Well, after Big Mac got all upset by it for some reason and punched him.”
No! Bad Applebloom! Phrasing!
It’s too late though as Big Mac looks sheepish, and Applejack shouts in surprise.
“HE DID WHAT?!”
Face-Palming, you let out a sigh and calmly stand up from the table. You look to the upset, dazed eyes of Applejack, before looking to Twilight.
You explain this to her. My hand hurts, you mime out to her. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be putting my Zoidberg impression to good use.
With that you…
Last resort: "Hey! Look over there!" Promptly hide.
PS: When things get violent, use table as a shield and exit through window. This will be unpopular with others but being dead/in hospital is unpopular with me.
Point behind Applejack and put and gasp in “Fear”. Applejack looks behind her in confusion, and you take this chance to flip the table. Food goes flying as the ponies all duck for cover, but you are already in crab formation (hands clipping and all) and are running out the door.
With no voice Zoidberg's whooping is kind of dampened and airy, but the point still get’s across.
I just know I'm gonna regret flipping that table. It will be unpopular with the others, but being dead and/or in the hospital is unpopular with me! Now where was I...oh yeah! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!
As you scuttle away you hear Twilight calling out for you. You can't hear what she's saying, but at the moment you don’t care. You need to put some distance between you and the drunken Farm Pony who is misunderstanding the situation.
Better safe than sorry. This way I won’t get my knee caps kicked in.
Whooping the whole way, you enact your emergency safety plan.
When it all goes pear shaped, run like Hell to Pinkie's.
Quick Robin! To the Pinkie-Mobile! Otherwise it’s bye bye ponyland, and hello hell! Whoop Whoop Whoop!
SOMETIME LATER
Greatness942's Comment
BrownDog's Comment
After running from the Farm channeling Classic Joseph with a side of Zoidberg, you end up lost in the center of town, the only real landmark being that Twilight's library is right in front of you.
I knew I should have paid more attention to that tour of Ponyville Pinkie gave me last week! This is what I get for trying to see if Pinkie's mane was cotton candy or not. Curse you lack of hindsight!!! And I still have no clue if it is or not!
"Skeletor, get back here!” you hear Twilight shouting.
No Way Jose! You deal with Applejack, I’m done! You then look for a good place to hide from the Unicorn. Come on, Skeletor Joestar! Think! Where can I…
Right in front of you, to the right of the library door is a cardboard box that apparently was discarded during the moving process. With a grin, you walk over and crouch, picking up the box, before covering yourself with it.
Yep, if it can work with the clone of the greatest soldier alive, it can work for me.
Twilight runs up to the library and looks around. Miraculously, she doesn’t even seem to glance at or notice the box.
“Darn It Skeletor!” she grunts before facehooving. “Oh no Princess Celestia, it won’t be a problem at all. I’ll watch over this biped that nearly brought upon the apocalypse. It will be easy peasy!”
Heh. Twilight Snarkle in the house, you chuckle giddily. She then groans again and walks into the library where you hear her call out.
"Spike! There you are. Listen, the creature's gone missing and we're going to need to look for him.”
“But I just got back from bringing our stuff from Canterlot,” Spike groans.
“I know, and I appreciate it Spike, but Skeletor is loose without his escort and who knows what he’ll do.”
Yeah, he could even be hiding under a box. Very sinister Twi, you roll your eyes.
“Is it really all that bad?” he asks.
“Of course. Never underestimate a scared animal, they’re unpredictable. He just upended Applejack’s kitchen table and ran out the door. Poor Applejack got bonked in the head with the lemonade pitcher and passed out.”
What?! I didn’t mean to do that! You think in dread. Crap! Why am I so good at knocking ponies out?
“On the plus side, at least she’s resting again, but still it’s my duty to the Princess that I keep an eye on him. The book I was reading earlier had an entry on something very similar to his kind Spike. Plus now it’s come out that he’s apparently psychic, so there’s so much I have to look into.”
Wait, someone like me's been here? And they're in a mysterious book...oh yeah! Maybe I should check that out soon.
"Okay, Twilight," Spike replies, "I was going to grab some parchment and quills anyway. If I see him on the way, I’ll let you know. What’s it look like again?”
“He’s a biped. Trust me, you’ll know him if you see him.”
And with that, Twilight rushes out of the building and down the road levitating a book and a length of rope.
“A lot of different things walk on two legs Twilight,” Spike grumbles and shakes his head as he exits. “Know it when I see it huh? I wonder if it’s got sharp claws and big walrus tusks…”
When Spike is a good ways away from you, you lift the box and stand up.
Okay...I’m definitely going to have to apologize to AJ and the rest of the Apples later, but I guess now is as good a time as ever to find that book.
With that, you enter the unlocked library. As you look around the layout (and intentionally ignore the Havoc Staff) you think,
Alright, if I was an obsessive Bookworm who's researching a new species, where would I read it?
You look up the stairs.
Bingo.
Walking upstairs, you find a lot of books around Twilight's bed.
Great, that's a lot of books to look through. I hope they have pictures or I’m S.O.L. Stupid alien looking gobbledeegook letters!
You then proceed to search the books around the tiny little bed. That fact still gets to you about just how tiny everything is. Heck, your head almost hits the roof in many of the houses you've entered.
I know the show was called My Little Pony, but I figured they'd at least be pony sized. I'm like the height of Iron Will or even Discord. Although there are still Kaiju Bears and literal Godzilla sized dragons out there, but still...
Many of the books do in fact have pictures, but many of them are just taxonomy graphs of different species of animals.
I really hope she’s not planning on dissecting me…
Eventually you do find an older looking book, and it even has a bookmark. Flipping through it, you find an old sketch. It looks like a child's drawing, but next to a poorly drawn pony is something that might be a human with a smiley face. It has some sort of blue overalls with a heart on it, and has a yellow ponytail with a bow in it.
Wait, is that the girl from the original series? Megan or something?
You never watched the show itself, since there were plenty of other 80’s cartoons that you obsessed over like Transformers, GI Joe, and of course, He-Man, but through osmosis of being a brony, you at least knew some things about the original show.
But that doesn't make sense, that was a different universe, and this place is a reboot. Plus Luna said she and Celestia took down Grogar, and they had no clue what a human was. Did this happen even further in the past? Is there cross franchise bleed through? What?!
But before you can think too much on this, you hear a gasp and the cluttering of items falling to the floor.
Turning around you see Spike, staring up at you sitting on Twilight's bed, with fear in his eyes.
"Y-You're that thing Twilight and the girls have been talking about...She was right…"
As you stare at the nervous dragon you raise an inquisitive eyebrow.
Well if it isn't the universe's other punching bag…who just so happens to know how to shoot fire…and I’m sitting on who is essentially his big sister’s bed…Well this is awkward.
Okay...just one wrong move can end badly for me considering dragon fire and all that. So by the power of Greyskull, do NOT startle him…
You gulp in fear at the thought of Spike (of all people) melting your face off with his fire and Skeletor's origin in the 2002 He-Man cartoon springs to mind.
As much as I want to be Skeletor, I'd rather achieve being all mighty and powerful in the hammy villain arts without having my face melted off. Wait...is there magic involved in dragon fire? Because if not then I'm pretty sure I'd just die or end up looking like Freddy Kreuger.
As you contemplate the logistics of dragon fire (wouldn't be the first time), Spike breaks out of his stunned state somewhat.
"He-hey! We-were you the one who got Alabaster Foxtrot and Alexander O' Carroll sick?"
Spike flinches when you gain a glare at this question, probably thinking he angered you somehow. But that's not the case, in reality you’re just pissed off that your escorts were friendlier with a dragon of all things, but not you.
Great, they even introduced themselves to this universe's punching bag before me!!! On the upside, now I at least know the male guard’s name now. I swear when Gilda's episode starts I'm having Pinkie prank them extra hard! If I can't do that then I swea-
Your rant on revenge is cut short and you freeze in shock when you finally notice how scared Spike looks.
I'm...I'm not that scary...am I?
His shaking just confirms your fears.
Better do something quick before he uses that fear to fry me!
MagicLover2128's Comment
Your mind rushes to find a good enough response and reaction in hopes of avoiding said fate.
Should I try and jump out of the window? You look to the window in consideration before shaking your head.
Na, that won't work. I’ll just hurt myself falling out, and I’m done jumping through glass. No, if I’m getting out of this, it’s showing this kid what happened and hope for the best.
You then quickly take your notepad and scribble as fast as you can how you ended up on Twilight’s bed. He watches you sketch in slight awe at your speed. You never were an expert at drawing, but the more you use it, the better and better your images are getting.
The first is a caricature of you running from a ticked off Twilight, conveyed by her mane and tail being on fire.
The next is of you finding the box to hide with your image self cowering and a question mark above Twilight’s head.
Then you show yourself hearing about the book from Twilight as she speaks to Spike with a speech bubble showing a book open and some random scribbles and pictures placed in the drawn book image.
You then show you going to find the book and now leading to where we are now.
Spike for the most part seems only slightly confused now, and less fearful.
“Alright, if I’m getting this right, Twilight was angry, so you hid, and then heard about that book she was yapping about?”
Dead on kid! You nod and point at him.
"Wait...you were able to hide from Twilight by hiding in a box right outside the library?"
Not the thing I thought he'd focus on, but hey I can work with that. And of course it worked! Cartoon logic and video game logic dictate it so!
You nod your head at Spikes question.
"Geeze, Twilight must be more out of it than I thought if she missed something that obvious," he sighs and shakes his head. “She was expressly looking for you for goodness’ sake.”
You take slight offense at the insult to your hiding skills, but at the mention of Twilight being out of it you get flashbacks to Lesson Zero and shudder.
Oh you poor thing, you have no idea what’s to come…
Stilling your fears of Future Twilight Snapple, you notice that Spike has once again gone back to staring at you, but you are slightly thankful that there's less fear in his gaze than there was before.
Alright good, risk of face melting going down. Though the thought of being scary to these guys makes me feel...ugh. You’ve already scared Applebloom half to death earlier, and now here is Spike to add to that misery.
This will not do. No sir, it shall not! I’m going to wipe that fear off your face, end this awkward silence and staring, and make you smile just like my poofy roommate would. But how should I accomplish that…?
After a few moments of thinking you hear a lightbulb go off as you smile and...
BrownDog's Comment
Bestiebest's Comment
Do the most logical thing.
You draw on your notepad a picture of you and Spike and an arrow pointing towards an ice cream cone.
"Uh...you want to get ice cream?" he asks with a raised eyebrow.
You nod.
"Uh...Okay?" he sputters a bit nervously. “We have a few different flavors in the fridge. Do you like Rocky Road?”
Oh Heck Ya! Rocky Road For the Win!!! You smile widely and stand up. The sudden movement causes the poor drake to back up in startlement and you think a bit of awe.
"Whoa, you are giant!" he gasps.
You give him a blank look, surprised by his compliment. True you’ve towered over these ponies for a week, but considering you’re usually made fun of because of your height back home (smallest in the family) it’s still a bit endearing to be called tall. You’re not overtly short or anything, but at the same time you’ll never be chosen for a basketball team.
Uh... Your brain fails to come up with anything witty or sarcastic. It’s still running high on the compliment.
At your blank look Spike just chuckles nervously before making a 'follow me' gesture at you. This manages to shake you out of your little mind blank as you follow the drake out of the room.
He then nervously leads you to the kitchen where he gets the ice cream out.
You then start eating ice cream together in awkward silence, before he starts trying to make small talk.
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
"So um, why were you in Twilight's room?" Spike asks as he shoves a scoop of strawberry into his mouth.
Right to the point eh? You think as you bite down on the wonderful Rocky Road. You proceed to hold up the book you were skimming.
"You were reading?"
You nod and you hear your neck crack.
I’ve really got to work out my neck muscles…and all of my muscles for that matter.
"But I thought you couldn't read our language. That’s what Twilight said anyway," Spike points out.
Very astute, hatchling. You nod and wince from the pain and flip through the book pointing at all the pictures.
"Oh, I guess that makes sense. Though Twilight doesn’t usually look through books with pictures in them anymore, not since I was little…" Spike mutters.
Silence reigns as you both take a bite of ice cream. Well, he takes a bite, while you shovel 6 bites worth into your maw.
Another issue, You think, The silverware and dishes are freaking tiny. You stare at the baby sized spoon in your hand. I feel like a good portion of any money I eventually get (If any) will go to food just so I have enough to feed myself properly. If Pinkie didn’t eat the same proportions as me, I’d have probably wasted away by now.
You take another tiny bite, Now that I think about it, if I plan on becoming buff like Skeletor my diet is going to need a good portion of meat. I don't know how they view meat eating here, and for all I know, it could make things even worse. Also, what kind of meat would be available since a good portion of livestock have been shown to be sapient? I hope to God pigs are still just animals, I don’t know if I can handle not having bacon ever again! Your head is starting to hurt from thinking about this.
Wait, never mind it's just a brain freeze from the ice cream. You react normally and clutch your head and wait for the pain to fade, causing Spike to chuckle.
"Brain freeze huh? Even aliens get it I guess. Try pressing your tongue to the top of your mouth, it helps a lot."
You do just that and the pain goes away.
Huh. I can’t believe I had to get sucked to a cartoon horse dimension to learn that life hack from a dragon.
Spike chuckles at your dumbfounded face, and you give him the thumbs up, and since he’s got finger like claws, he understands your gesture.
To this, a thought strikes you,
It’s refreshing ‘chatting’ with a non hooved person. Maybe I should try to make friends with the guy. I already had ideas to make his episodes better, and that can be made easier by being bros. I mean, punching bag he might be, but he's also extremely loyal to his friends.
While you ponder this solution, Spike takes another bite of his ice cream and asks you…
Allstar13521's Comment
"So why was Twilight so angry with you in the first place anyway? You didn't do anything...you know, evil did you?"
You try and fail to hold back a snort at that.
I haven't done anything evil the entire time I've been here! Everything has just been a huge misunderstanding!
“I mean, she said something about you poisoning Foxtrot and O’Carroll, and knocking out Applejack…”
Okay, Mostly Misunderstandings…Mentally sighing at your uncanny bad luck you flip through the sketches you’d made at the Apple Farm.
You show him what you showed Twilight, though you have to add in you getting kicked by Big Mac, and Applejack drunkenly yelling at you, followed by table flip and bravely fleeing.
Next chance I get, I’m asking Pinkie for colored pencils to help speed this up, you think overlooking the boring grey pictures you’ve drawn.
Spike chuckles at the image of you flying through the air from Big Mac’s kick to which you just give him a deadpanned glare. This ends his chuckling and causes him to gulp nervously.
Ah come on! I'm not that scary dang it! You cringe and loose the glare.
A few seconds go by before Spike looks up at you. He more or less understands the situation, some things are lost in translation obviously, but for the most part he understands why you were running away.
"So...how did you know Twilight was looking for you anyway? I mean from what you...uh 'said' you booked it out of there pretty fast."
To this you just give him your best 'are you serious' look before showing him the pictures you showed him when you were both in Twilight's room. This causes him to chuckle nervously as he scratches the back of his head in embarrassment as he says,
"Hehehehe oh yeah...forgot you already told me that. Sorry."
You just roll your eyes at him before you suddenly get an idea. You smile at Spike as you draw out your plan before showing it to him.
"Wait...you want me to bring you to Sugarcube Corner?" he asks after studying your drawings a bit.
You nod your head at this and wince slightly as you think,
Yep, and by extension to the one pony that can keep me from being lectured. Plus if we stay here I’ll end up eating all of your ice cream.
This is true, the entire time the two of you have been talking you've both been eating the ice cream non-stop. You’ve already gone through three tubs by yourself.
"I don't know...” Spike says in confliction. “Wouldn't it be a better idea to just wait here for Twilight to come back? I mean I was supposed to contact her if I saw you, and she'll probably be cooled off by then...maybe."
And be given a lecture by Purple Smart? No thanks! You stare at him in deadpan. Besides she’ll probably have me go apologize to Applejack when she wakes up, and I'd rather avoid that problem till she's sobered up and this episode is over.
After that thought you draw a picture that roughly means that Spike could just be watching you for Twilight. You'd figured him being her number one assistant would make this seem like a more doable idea if he thought he was doing it for Twilight.
Of course you figured wrong as Spike seems even more conflicted then before.
Looks like the safety of Pinkie is out, you sigh. Maybe I can just bribe him with manual labor in exchange for his silence?
You start to draw out your idea of doing his chores in exchange for his secrecy, but what the little drake says next stops you dead cold in your drawing.
"I don't think Twilight would want me watching you. How do I know you won’t just up and hurt me like you did with Pinkie and Applejack?” he sputters nervously.
Oh come on! We had ice cream together! I'm not that bad...right? you wallow in somber. Spike’s accusations actually sting you a little.
You quickly shove away your doubt and decide to follow through on your plan of making Spike not fear you. You quickly draw on your note pad before showing the picture to Spike with what you hope is a reassuring smile. The picture you showed him...
Level Dasher's Comment
Has you and him high fiving, with the peace symbol in the background. Spike raises an eyebrow at this.
"So...you’re not going to hurt me?"
You throw you hands up in an 'I mean you no harm' way as you continue to smile at him reassuringly. His conflicted look lessens slightly, but it’s still there as he says,
"Well even if you say that, how can I know you’re telling the truth? I mean you did knock Pinkie out before, and now Applejack and those two guards."
You grimace at that as you think,
God I'm never going to be able to live that down am I? Come on little guy, please just trust me! Twilight won't listen to me so long as she thinks I'm even slightly evil! You’re my best chance of having an interpreter! You’re literally the only other guy in this entire town with fingers, finger bros have to stick together man!
You try to convey your thoughts to the drake, but your drawings just seem to confuse the dragon even more.
God I'm never going to get on your good side am I? Am I doomed to only have Pinkie and Luna as friends!? You sigh in defeat as you put down your notepad and look sullenly at the floor.
Before your thoughts of doom and gloom can get too overbearing Spike suddenly gains a determined look. Well...maybe more of a false-bravado look, but still he gets a look as he asks,
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
"Hey, do you like comics?" You can almost hear the fear and desperation in his voice and without thinking you nod, your neck protesting as you do so. Spike brightens up immediately. "I thought so. I could tell by some of these awesome drawings.”
You look down to his claws and he is holding your notepad, which is open to some of your doodles you did for fun. The best of which is Skeletor battling He-Man in different poses and backgrounds.
Those aren’t comics. Those are real life…or they will once I achieve my destiny and-
“Let me show you my collection! I’m sure you’ll appreciate them. They got lots of pictures." He grabs one of your fingers and starts pulling you from the table.
Dang, this guy has a grip, you grimace as your pointer finger feels like it’s being crushed. But it’s all good, you can ignore that and the sudden change in attitude because you feel relief that he isn’t terrified of you anymore.
As you pass the Havoc Staff, you look at it forlornly.
Soon. You mouth, and the Staff's eyes glow a faint blue for a second in response. You blink, not sure if you saw that correctly. Then you lose sight as Spike keeps pulling you up the stairs and back into Twilights room.
As you enter the room Spike drags you over to his little corner of it where his basket bed sits. In said corner you see something that makes your jaw drop. You see a good couple of mountains of comic books almost as tall as you. Spike sees your awestruck look and chuckles.
"Yeah I know it's a pretty neat collection. I haven't really had the time to put them anywhere just yet since Twilight needed my help reorganizing the library, then her personal collection, then her lab, then her-look there was a lot of organizing and reorganizing so I haven't really gotten to putting my stuff away."
That does sound like something Twilight would do, you chuckle and nod at his explanation. As you do, Spike walks over to one of the comic book mountains and looks though it. Eventually he lets out an 'aha!' as he picks one out and walks back over to you.
From the look of the cover it seems to be the first edition of the pony version of what you think is Batman. You are guessing this since you only have the picture to go by, still unable to read Equestrian. Spike notices your confusion and smiles, before sitting down and motioning you to sit next to him.
"I figured we'd start off with a classic, Batmane. And since you can't read, I figured I could just read it to you." You smile at this as you sit down next to the drake. As he begins to read the comic and show you the pictures, you can't help but think,
This better do the Batman justice, or there will be a very angry human at the comic store ranting!
SOME TIME LATER
Twenty issues of Batmane later and it is safe to say all nearby comic shops are safe from your nerd rage. You don't know exactly how much time has passed, but you know it has been enough that Spike is comfortable enough to sit in your lap as he read the comics.
You admit you may have had an adorable induced stroke when he first sat down, but you managed to keep it under control. You used to read like this with your little sister, and it brings back warm fuzzies. Spike, unlike your sibling, has a talent for narrating, and really knows how to suck someone into a story. He changes his voice for the characters, does the sound effects, and he even does a pretty decent impression of the caped crusader.
However, as much as you have been enjoying your time with Spike, you can't help but feel like you’re forgetting something important. Like there was a reason you came here in the first place....
Oh wait! The book!
With that thought you...
Greatness942's Comment
Place your hand over the comic book much to his surprise and you think disappointment. You smile apologetically at the little guy as you take the book from Twilight’s bed out of your poncho. You flick back to Megan's entry and since you can't read Equestrian you show the pages to Spike.
"Oh! It's that biped Twilight was talking about. Let me see!" he says, taking the book and looking at the pages. "Hmm...ah, it's just boring studies that Twilight would totally look at. I can't even understand half of these words," he continues, before flicking to the next page.
Wait...is Twilight or whoever had this book searching for Megan? Why? Because she's human? How would that work? She’s from the Eighties…and another dimension to boot.
There are, in fact, only four spots on the map that are instead marked with green question marks. One in the badlands, one in Neighagra Falls, one in the Smokey Mountains, and finally, one near Pinkie's rock farm in the San Palomino Desert.
Ooh, plot hooks. I do so love getting caught on those...or do I? Nah, Skeletor loves adventure! NYEH! You point to the map, which Spike looks at for a second.
"Oh! Could this biped be on one of the spots on this map?" he asks, to which you just shrug your shoulders at. "Well whatever these spots mean, they seem pretty remote. Twilight probably won't take you to them without trusting you first."
Yare yare daze...wait, that's Jotaro Kujo, not his grandpa Joseph. If I’m going to emulate someone, it’s gonna be best JoJo…though with my drawing skills, I’m more like Rohan Kishibe… You then shake your head from thoughts of having an OP stand like Heaven’s Door, and get back on track.
This isn’t going to be a problem. I have a lot of time to figure this stuff out, and plenty more to get on everyone’s good side.
To this, you simply close the book, causing Spike to look at you curiously.
It's like you said little guy, I won't be going anywhere till Twilight trusts me. No point in studying this thing till then, if we're lucky she'll get so curious she'll look herself. Probably drag me along for the ride. You convey this by shrugging like it’s no big deal, and pointing at him.
"Yeah you’re probably right. Well if that's it we still have plenty of comics to get to. You stopped just as it was getting good you know?"
You chuckle at the little dragon’s excitement as you think,
Hehe, reminds me of myself when I was a kid. In fact...
You smile at the drake as you...
Sunbro4life's Comment
Flip to a new page on your pad, and borrow some of his nearby crayons.
You've shown me some of your world’s pop culture, time to show you some of mine.
With that you motion Spike to watch as you proceed to draw to the best of your abilities, characters from one of the greatest shows of all time, Avatar: The Last Airbender.
You draw out scenes of the Gaang fighting enemies with their different bending powers, flying on Appa, and put into comic form the beginning narration from every single episode.
“Wow. Are these magical warriors from your world, or are they comics too?” You tap his comics in response and smile at his excitement.
Having this little guy on my side is going to be awesome. Maybe when I'm not always under constant watch we could play some D&D. I know it exists in this universe, and actually being able to see the people I'm playing with will defiantly be more fun than normal.
You never really went out to play D&D with what few friends you had, instead you would usually just play with them online. Less of a hassle on both yours and their end, but it always felt less...fun without seeing their faces.
We could even make it a weekly thing, with ice cream and an ever changing storyline! Your smile widens at that thought, but it soon disappears.
Then again it probably wouldn't last long. Being the universes punching bag tends to make the fun end eventually. But that won't matter once I have the Havoc staff. Then I can have my own snake mountain with minions and then I’ll be able to capture Castle Greyskull and be the master of the universe! Then I can play all the D&D I want with a dragon! Nyeh!
"Uh...dude?" Spike snaps you out of your thoughts as you look at the little drake. Of course you then notice that you started drawing your thoughts instead of the story of the Avatar, complete with Skeletor standing above a defeated He-Man.
“Are these part of a different story or something?” You nod, but then point from Skeletor to yourself.
“Huh? That’s you?”
You nod again.
“But it looks nothing like you. It looks kind of like a villain character if anything.”
You huff indignantly at that and continually point at the cartoon villain and yourself while holding your thumb up.
He’s what made that show buddy. He never gave up on his goals and he had much better sidekicks. Beastman may always be at fault, but at least he isn’t freaking Orko!
"So . . . Yeah I thank that's enough ice cream for you," Spike nonchalantly says as he takes the tub out of your flailing hands. Yep, even now you two were still eating ice cream. Yeah, you’re going to have to cut out on that if you ever want to reach your desired body form.
Spike shoves the ice cream away from you and him before he looks from you to your notepad, then the comic books. He seems to have a thoughtful look on his face.
Huh...wonder what's on the little guy's mind?
Your question is soon answered as he says,
When Twilight comes back, Spike is trying his best to teach you what he can about how to read, since Twilight hasn't taken any time out of her day to help.
"Hey...since Twilight hasn't really gotten around to it. Why don't I teach you how to read and write? I mean I may not be able to help you with really big words, but I think I'm still pretty good at it." You gain a smile at Spikes suggestion.
And to think you were scared stiff of me earlier. Now you’re offering me help with your language. Truly the power of comic books can bring any nerds together, no matter the species!
With that thought you are about to give Spike your answer, when the downstairs door is kicked open, followed by a shout of,
"Spike! Are you okay little dude?!”
“Rainbow Dash?” Spike calls out in confusion.
Oh God! Not that one!
Immediately after his response, a whoosh of air is heard, before a blue blur materializes at the top of the stairs.
“Spike, some ponies on the street say they saw that monkey thing entering the library and…” She takes in Spike sitting with you, with the comics and ice cream everywhere.
“Yeah, I know. I kind of already figured that out,” Spike says cheekily.
“Uh…” she sputters in confusion.
Then from up the stairs bounds an excited Pinkie (when isn't she?) followed by Applebloom.
“Hi Skeletor! I see you’re making friends with Spike huh? See Rainbow Dash, I told you you didn’t have to worry about anything,” Pinkie says cheerfully, bouncing the whole time.
You just kind of nod her direction, but your vision is placed squarely on Applebloom, who gives her own nervous wave.
I'd be a lot more worried if I wasn't so confused as to why Applebloom is here. Seriously why!? You then point to Applebloom while looking at Pinkie Pie.
"Oh she’s here for plot convenience silly!" Pinkie snorts and giggles while leaning against the still stunned Pegasus.
You can feel your eye twitch at Pinkie's disregard for the 4th wall as you think,
This is going to be a long conversation, I just know it. My poor aching hand...
Really now, how long is this gonna become a thing? I mean really?? You gesture your frustration towards Pinkie Pie.
"I guess the author and audience likes running gags" Pinkie replies.
Everyone else looks confused by she says, You, on the other hand, just gape at the pink pony.
Wait…can she read my thoughts or something? And what does she mean by author and audience? You then grip your temple in realization.
That’s right, Pinkie Pie can break the fourth wall. She knows about the audience. So wait, is there people or…things watching us right now? Even with me here screwing stuff up?
You then look around at your surroundings, but all you see is Twilight’s library.
Hello? Is there anyone out there? Can you hear me? You think “loudly” as you squint your eyes in all directions.
“Oh silly, don’t try to look for what you can’t see. They only watch, that’s all,” Pinkie points out causing your eyes to unsquint.
“What the hay are you talking about?” asks Rainbow Dash.
You both ignore the skittles horse as you point to Pinkie Pie.
Kersey475's Comment
You can read my mind can’t you?! Who’s out there watching? Answer me! This will make the whole communication thing much eas-
"Hate to burst your thought bubble," Pinkie interrupts, "But if you’re thinking things at me I can’t hear them. I just see them,” she points to a random direction and you and the others look as well. “Always watching, and the one tip tapping away. When it comes to you, I’m just making wild conclusions to what you’re thinking like I always do. But I think I know you well enough to get you."
Seriously!? Your face droops.
"You’re right Skelly, they are pretty rude for always watching,” she says with an oblivious smile.
Meanwhile Spike, Applebloom, and Rainbow are all staring at Pinkie strangely.
"Is she... okay?" Spike asks.
"I... I don't know." Rainbow Dash replies.
Neither do I, and I kind of have an inkling of what she’s talking about. I mean, there IS a fourth wall. But seriously, am I being viewed right now on some alternate universe TV screen? Is there some strange toy line being made of me? And how far is her knowledge? Hmmm… You then snap your fingers to get Pinkie’s attention.
“Hmm?” she asks.
You draw a cupcake, then put Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark on it and a knife before showing it to her. Suddenly Pinkie's eye twitches and she screams to the heavens,
"BUCK THAT MOTHERBUCKING GRIMDARK CHARACTER ASSASSINATION BULLSPIT FOR TRYING TO RUIN ONE OF MY FAVORITE PASTRIES!!! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
"Pinkie!" Rainbow exclaims while covering Applebloom's ears as you subconsciously cover Spike's, "I may be the coolest pony around, but even I know not to use language that strong around foals!"
"Uh, I work on a farm so I've heard a lot worse," Apple Bloom says taking Rainbow Dash's hoof off.
“Oh, I’m sorry Applebloom and Spike, I have no idea where that came from,” Pinkie apologizes looking guiltily. “It’s just…something about those images made me feel very angry and want to say those words for some reason…” Pinkie has a hoof to her chin in thought, a look of confusion splayed across her face.
So wait, she doesn’t know the fan fic, but she knows to be outraged? How does this fourth wall thing work? You just stare at the pink pony and then back at Applebloom for a good couple of seconds before mentally groaning.
Ah screw it, if I think too much into this I'll go crazy. It's just like Pinkie Sense, better to just deal with it than try to understand it. Though I’m definitely going to have to experiment with this further.
Meanwhile Rainbow just stares at Applebloom wide eyed before she stutters out,
"W-well don't ever repeat those words okay?! They’re totally uncool."
"I know that Rainbow!” Applebloom rolls her eyes. “Mah sister and brother tend to drill that into mah head every time they say one. Usually its mah sister though." This causes everyone in the room eyes to widen at the information.
Huh...Applejack has a potty mouth? Well I guess the more you know...
“Whatever,” Rainbow huffs before looking to Pinkie Pie. “Pinkie, you gotta explain. What did that thing draw to make you mad? Who are “Them” What do you two know that we don’t?”
“Oh don’t worry about it Dashie, it’s not something you could possibly comprehend without having a nasty headache.”
“I’ve already got one of those!” Dash fires back. Rainbow then starts trying to get Pinkie Pie to open up more about her Pinkieness, with Pinkie only giving vague unsatisfying answers while Applebloom looks back and forth at them.
Well that’s going nowhere fast.
With that thought, you decide to do something productive as you…
Studiously ignore the ponies. Keep (trying) to learn to read.
Ignore the ponies and tap Spike’s head. He snaps out of his shock and looks at you.
"What?" he asks. You point to him, then the book. You do this several times trying to get your point across, and eventually it does as Spike's eyes widen in recognition.
"Oh! You wanna start learning our language right? But right now? What about..." He gestures over to the still arguing mares.
Eh, knowing this world and its need to be overdramatic, they'll be like that for awhile.
You draw your thoughts out to Spike by drawing out the ponies talking with Pinkie Pie smiling, and Dash with an angry face with a clock ticking by showing no change happening for awhile. Spike nods his head at this before scratching the back of his head.
"Yeah...I guess they will be struck like that for awhile huh?"
“But why is my cutie mark on that cupcake drawing?!”
“I have no idea, but for whatever reason, it’s very stupid.”
“This whole thing sounds stupid!” You smirk and nod at Spike (and slightly wince) as you think,
Unless Celestia herself decides to drop in for a visit they’ll be at it for awhile. I mean we could get some cold water, but... Both you and the little dragon shrug in acknowledgement.
"Alright then, though I gotta say, a part of me is kind of interested in what Pinkie was saying...but yeah, let's get to work!"
And with that the baby dragon begins to teach you how to read!
...
...
...
You know without some context that would sound really pathetic, you know?
Anyway, for the next couple of minutes Spike tries to teach you. He must have learn some things by living with Twilight for so long, because he seems pretty good at giving a lecture. Maybe a little too good, because halfway though explaining the Equestrian alphabet…
Wait for the Pink Abomination to get the plot moving. Also, to make the story continue.
"HEY SKELLY! Now’s not the time for learning, that comes later!” Pinkie chirps. You look up from Spike’s book and see Pinkie, Rainbow, and Applebloom looking at you expectantly.
“Oh wow, I guess I should learn to speed things up huh?” Spike mutters as he looks at the clock above the bed. You look to it as well and see that fifteen minutes have already passed.
Yeesh, and here I thought they’d argue longer. These squiggles have some context, but they’re still alien. Pinkie notices your frown and giggles.
"Sorry Skelly! But I was trying to explain things to Rainbow Dash, and she of course didn’t understand anything, so I tried to set an example of unexplainables, so I was telling her and Applebloom about how you’re a psychic, and Rainbow got all curious and asked me how I knew. So I told her blah, blah, blah blah…“
Is…is she just saying-
“But now Rainbow wants proof that you’re psychic, so I figured you can give her a vision! *Squee*" While you just try to control your reaction to the adorable squeeing sound, the other ponies/dragon in the room just look at Pinkie in confusion as Spike asks,
"Uh Pinkie? You didn't really explain anything, you kind just started saying 'blah blah' over and over again for awhile till the end."
"...Did I?" Pinkie asks in befuddlement as she rubs her chin. Everyone sighs at this, including you.
Geeze of course she'd go for that joke. How obvious can ya get Pinks?
“Yeah, all you said was you knew he was psychic,” Applebloom speaks up.
“Twilight said something about that earlier. I thought she was just over-exaggerating,” Spike adds.
“Nope. He’s the real deal, he told me so,” Pinkie smiles.
Oh Pinkie, you innocent trusting bundle of joy you, you wince at her trusting nature. Your thoughts are suddenly interrupted as Rainbow's face suddenly appears way too close for comfort to yours. You make what sounds like a 'yelp' noise as you sit back in surprise, causing Spike to scramble off your lap.
BrownDog's Comment
Shadow The Fire Spirit's Comment
"Alright buddy, I doubt it’s true, but if you can see the future then tell me this. Am I going to get into the wonderbolts?"
Aw Crud, I can't let her know something that concrete, then she'll be even more insufferable and obnoxious with her gloating. You try to explain to her that it doesn't work like that, but that only seems to anger the skittle themed pony. This only sends warning singles off in your brain.
Oh crud not good! You panic, If there's one thing I shouldn't do right now it’s pissing off Dash. Sure my escaping skills have been top notch lately, but there's no way I can outrun this crazy pegasus! You glance around the room for anything that can help you in case you can't calm down the speedster, and your eyes land on Pinkie.
Okay, worse cases scenario I hide behind Pinkie like a true man should in the face of a beating via a rainbow maned little pony. Before you can think of anymore plans Rainbow snarls and demands,
"Well come on 'psychic!' Tell me if I'm gonna be on the Wonderbolts or not, or were you just faking it the whole time?! Just like you’re faking being good?" Steeling your eyes at the accusation you decide to shut her up and start "Convulsing"
"Oh boy, here he goes!" Pinkie says excitedly while Applebloom and Spike watch in astonishment. You then choose to "Predict" an event that will happen way sooner than her Wonderbolts acceptance.
You start sketching Gilda, with her talon around Dash's shoulder and them laughing. Rainbow's eyes widen at this as her mouth drops.
"How...how did you know Gilda was coming?" she asks you in shock. "I only got her letter today..."
"Because he's psychic silly. He can't control it, he has to wait for it, right Skelly?" You point to Pinkie Pie, then to your own temple and smile smugly at Rainbow Dash.
“By the way, who’s Gilda?” asks Pinkie.
“She’s like my best friend. We went to flight camp together. I haven’t seen her for a long time, but she’ll be visiting in a few days,” Dash answers, still flabbergasted as you nod to the rest.
"Whoa..." Applebloom and Spike both coo in awe. They then start clamoring for you to read their future next, and you have to shake them off. For one thing, you can't tell Applebloom what her cutie mark will be, and secondly, you can't tell Spike if he'll get a date with his crush.
“Give him some room guys, he just had a vision, making him have too many might hurt him or something,” Pinkie advises and the dragon and filly reluctantly stop inquiring. You give Pinkie a thankful salute as she smiles and turns back to Rainbow Dash.
“Are you satisfied Dashie?”
“That…that ain’t right Pinkie. If he’s got that kind of power, what if he…what if…” she looks perplexed, and a bit weary of you as she backs up. Somehow telling Rainbow about Gilda only made her more nervous about you.
Oh My God Skittles! What do you want from me?! You groan in frustration.
“Well I don’t think he’s evil. Although he did knock out Applejack with a lemonade pitcher earlier,” Applebloom says reluctantly twisting her hoof onto the ground. “But I’m sure that was an accident, right?”
The filly looks to you with hopeful eyes, and you decide to once and for all convince her that you are not evil, even if she’s already leaning that way.
SOMETIME LATER
MagicLover2128's Comment
It already feels like your gonna need a chiropractor or something to help with your neck and possibly something like a wrist brace for your poor aching wrist as you start to nod and draw out images showing that you really don't mean any harm and merely want to be friends.
“Yeah, see, he just drew a picture of us hugging, of course he’s not evil,” Applebloom points out.
“How do you know that doesn’t mean he’s going to eat you?” Rainbow throws back and you roll your eyes. Pinkie gasps and rushes towards you covering your ears, though the hooves don’t block sound at all.
“Rainbow Dash! That was a mean thing to say. Skelly doesn’t eat ponies!”
Yeah. Pigs, and Cows on the other hand… She then cradles your head like the insult actually harmed you.
“It’s okay Skeletor, nopony thinks you really eat us. Shhhhh…”
Yet again, screw ‘Cupcakes’ This pony is way too nice…I wonder what kind of reaction she’d have if I communicated some of the more risqué stories about her, or some of the other creepy ones aside from that shitty story. There’s countless web animations of her too. In fact…
You then flip to a new page, and using crayons, draw Deadpool’s mask. When she sees it, a sparkle comes to her eye and she giggles.
“Oh that’s a pretty good drawing of Wade’s mask…whoever that is,” she ponders letting go of your head. You blink in astonishment at the quick fourth wall break as you can feel your eye twitch from the pink party Pony of whom you have a great liking for.
It’s gotta be media osmosis or something. Or my very presence is causing her powers to blip more. You soon shake it off with a fast shake of your head, which causes you to wince and mime in pain as you reach up to rub your neck; your poor, poor aching neck.
The action causes Applebloom to look at you with a bit of pity which makes you really want to squee in joy at how utterly cute she looks, but you also appreciate the sympathy.
"Are ya really in pain there Mistah Skeletor?" she asks. You do not want to nod or move your head much due to the aches, so you instead you just point at her.
"Want me to find some ice or something to help your neck?" she asks in reaction. You simply hold up your thumb get your point across.
“There’s an icepack in the freezer downstairs,” Spike says to her.
“Alright then. You just wait here. I’ll be back right quick,” she says as she trots down the stairs past Rainbow Dash who is keeping her distance from you.
“You don’t have to sit so far away Dashie,” Pinkie says to her friend.
“I’m comfortable right here,” she counters. “Until Twilight gets back, I’m not letting that thing out of my site.” You, Spike, and Pinkie roll their eyes.
“Oh Rainbow, Rainbow, Rainbow,” Pinkie tutters before bouncing towards her.
What did I do to you horsey? Is this about the accidental kiss thing? That was YOUR fault! You gag in memory of that.
I really hope she stops being a butt head towards me. I swear she’s just waiting for me to be alone before she strikes, and I don’t want more pain. And speaking pain, I really wish Zecora would come and help with some sort of magic potion that could just help my body or maybe even allow me to talk or something, but she isn't supposed to appear yet and I doubt that the universe is gonna let me have any sort of cop out or quick fix to my problems.
You hear Applebloom down below opening the freezer and smile.
But at least some ponies are helping out. Although, I wonder what effect Poison Joke would have on me? Would I be able to talk and speak with my voice but it would come out in a insane amount of words that no one could understand? Would I start speaking Russian out of nowhere? Or knowing my luck, my hands will turn to flippers and I won’t be able to write. Stupid bad luck! Oh what I wouldn’t give for it to make me look like my Skelebro…
While the idea of having the body of Skeletor greatly appeals to you, the thought of having his face dislodges any attempts of trying out the Poison Joke.
I think I'll be better off waiting till after the episode is over if I ever bother experimenting with the stuff. If I try to use if beforehand they'll probably jump to conclusions as usual and think whatever happens is a normal biological thing. I do not need Twilight dissecting me thank you very much. With that thought you carefully look around the room to avoid straining your neck.
Rainbow appears to be talking with Pinkie to distract herself, and you can't tell if the smiles on their faces is a good thing or not considering how mischievous they are.
Oh God did I accidentally cause their pranking spree early!? ...I am so so sorry Ponyville, you had a good run while you were still standing. Looking over to Spike you see him busying himself with packing up his comics. You’re guessing he doesn’t want any collateral damage in case more ponies suddenly intrude into the bedroom. Shrugging, you pick up the mysterious book and look back to the Megan entry. Just as you thought, you still have no inkling of what it says.
And since Twilight doesn’t quite understand these pictures, they must have been drawings with no context as well. Like an archaeologist looking at cave paintings and trying to derive meaning…Hmmm… An idea sparks in your head, and since no one is looking you decide to...
Tartarusbound's Comment
Mess with Twilight add a plothook of your own. You make a small sketch of "Meghan" riding a Pony on a rainbow bridge between two planets and leave it in the book for Twilight to find later. You add a little flair to the drawing by adding in a large castle and a bag of "dark rainbows".
Thank you borrowed crayons. Your wrist protests against you the entire time, but you figure it was worth it since now you had decent entertainment in the near future to look forward to. You put the book back down and just then you hear Applebloom's voice coming from outside the room.
"Ah told you Twilight! The ice is for mah friend’s neck!"
"And I told you Applebloom, your...friend has caused me a lot of trouble today and could be dangerous! I'll give him his ice while I lecture him, you can just run on home."
As the sounds of the two ponies near, your eyes widen in panic as you think,
Nightprowler2's Comment
Oh crud Purple Smart is here! Quick brain initiate plan 24f! Just as you are about to initiate the plan, your brain comes to a screeching halt. Wait no, belay that order brain! This world's not ready for 24f. Instead begin emergency plan 12a! With that thought you begin your plan...which is to mercilessly tickle the nearest being. This just so happens to be Pinkie, who was walking over to you after talking to Dash.
Pinkie lets out a Squee in surprise, but before long she is just a giggling mess on the floor as you begin your assault.
"Skel-hhehehehje-Skelly sto-stop please! I'm-hehehehehehe-I'm way too tick-hehehehehe-ish! Hehehehehe-oh my sides! Hehehehehehe-I can't feel my sides-hehehehehehehe! Mercy! Hehehehehehe-mer-hehehehehe-cy!"
Yes puny pony! No one can resist the might of the finger! Feel my tickling fury! You smile in madness induced glee.
Rainbow and Spike just stare dumbfound at the scene, which soon turns into shock when the door is suddenly blasted open. You continue your assault and Pinkie doesn't seem to notice as she is still laughing uncontrollably on the ground.
You look over to where the door used to be to see a very pissed off Twilight and an equally bored looking Applebloom.
"Don't worry Pinkie! I'll...save....you?"
Twilight's look of righteous fury is replaced with pure confusion as she stares at Pinkie's giggling form and your shit eating grin. Applebloom merely sighs at this before she starts to walk over to you with an ice pack on her back.
"Ah told you he was alright." She gives you the ice pack, to which you smile at her and pat her head in thanks.
“Aww, is it over already?” Pinkie whines with the loss of your tickling.
"Adults, am I right?" Applebloom smiles leaning into the head pat.
You chuckle airily, which sort of sounds like an amused dog pant, and place the ice pack on the back of your neck. As you sigh in relief Twilight seems to snap out of it as she gasps and rushes towards you. You throw your arms up in defense...only to slowly put them down in confusion as you see Twilight completely ignore you and instead...
Greatness942's Comment
Put her sole focus on the book you messed with.
“Spike! Why is the book off of my bed?”
“Skeletor heard you talking about it earlier and wanted to take a look at it,” the dragon answers truthfully. She gives you an inquisitive glance, and Spike saves you from having to explain.
“He still can’t read, but he was looking through the pictures. I tried to teach him a little, but ponies just kept breaking in here.”
Thanks for the save bro, you smile at him.
“Hmmph,” Twilight snorts and picks up the book. “Well Skeletor until a time as you can read, I don’t think it’s wise to look at such an advanced text. Sure there are pictures but…”She stops flipping through the pages and just stares unblinkingly at your drawing for 55 stopwatch seconds with no interruption, her pupils the only things moving as they swiftly shrink.
Um...Twilight? You alrig-
"OH SWEET CELESTIA AND ALL HER WACKY STUDENTS!" Twilight suddenly shouts, frazzling her mane as she shoves her face closer to the picture. "Is this biped planning on traveling between worlds?! Whoever wrote this book knew what they were doing when they chronicled this creature! I-I need to submit my findings to Celestia personally."
Student's? As in plural, I thought you didn't know about Sunset-wait a minute, so you don't even know who wrote it? ...Huh. Well, how exactly are you going to-
"When's the soonest time she'll arrive in Ponyville? ...Ooh, I'll need to check my schedule. If she doesn't arrive before the Grand Galloping Gala though, I'll have to submit this after the dance. This is big news. No, I have to research this further, I can’t go in with only vague ideas…but still…"
Ah, some progress. Still quite a wait with plenty of time to strategize, but driving Twilight nuts is actually kinda funny. Bonus! As the others try to snap Twilight out of her little freak out, you instead...
Ignore what they are saying and instead focus on what truly matters, your own personal enjoyment of the situation.
Ignore what they are saying and instead focus on what truly matters, your own personal enjoyment of the situation.
Hehehehehe, I feel like I'm in the middle of an episode. Which I am, but like one that was never aired. Or if Pinkie’s to be believed, aired elsewhere maybe. I wonder how far I can drive Twilight down the rabbit hole without driving her too insane? You chuckle mentally at the image of Lesson Zero Twilight popping up early and causing havoc during Dragonshy or even when the Flim Flam brothers show up.
Man, if only I didn't need to rely on the time line or have a moral compass telling me messing with the universe is wrong. Ah well, I can at least enjoy these small bits of hilarity when they pop up. Not like they'll have that big a difference in the future.
A feeling of dread washes over you at the thought, but you brush it off in favor of watching Applebloom resorting to giving what you dub the 'Cuteness Heart-Attack Inducer' look to calm Twilight down. You may or may not have blacked out slightly for a few seconds at the look.
Eventually Twilight calms down enough that she starts to explain some things. She spoke with Applejack when she woke up, and she starts relaying to Spike a friendship lesson she learned. She then explains that tomorrow everyone will go out to help at the farm.
Yes! I got the friendship lesson without a bunny stampede…although I did still let the food poisoning happen. Eh, close enough. But then it’s all ruined as Twilight looks to sternly.
“And you Mister! You know how panicked you made me today? You’re supposed to be in our care at all hours! Not to mention the fact you broke into my room and blah blah blah blah…” This time it’s not Pinkie saying blah blah over and over again, you’re just drowning out like the sixth lecture you’ve gotten today.
Yeesh, all you ponies do is nag nag nag. Well screw this. My body can stay, but my mind is leaving.
And with that you…
Fall asleep during a long and boring conversation, and not get noticed until you're not needed!
Sorta, kinda fall asleep. You are vaguely aware of the world around you, but for the most part it becomes faded white noise as you stand on the cusps of dream and day dream. This isn’t the first time you’ve blocked out an annoying person leaving your semi conscious body to deal with them. A few of your past teachers got it the most.
So while your mind technically dreams, you are still conscious in the basic definition, so that sadly means no moon princess visit (though she’ll probably not be doing that until she’s fully recovered anyway).
You did have a very wonderful dream though. You were the mighty Skeletor, and you were facing against your nemesis He-Man. And unlike the show you were winning! No matter how many sword strikes, no matter how many fabulous poses Prince Adam did, no matter how many times he used his stand “Rainbow in the Dark” (which for some reason looked like Rainbow Dash) he was no match for the power of your magic and your own Stand, Hermit Purple. The blood of the Joestars burned bright and ensured your victory. As he begged at your feet, you lifted your Havoc Staff to finally destroy that miserable stick in the mud goody two shoes when…
“Hey! Get Down From There!” He-Man shouts at you in Tara Strong’s voice.
“Huh?”
“I said get off my bed!” You are pulled out of your daydream to find yourself floating by your ankle, over Twilight’s bed, with no one else in the room. You look around in confusion and notice that the sun is setting.
How long was I out of it?!
“So I assume you’re out of your daze now?” she asks with a bit of heat in her voice and you nod, despite the blood rushing to your head.
“Good,” she huffs as you are then dropped, bouncing off the bed and onto the floor. “Now that you’ve had your rest, you’re going to come with me to the lab. We have much to do.”
You then shake your head and hands no, while flipping to the the portrait you’ve previously drawn of Pinkie Pie.
"Oh no you don't! For all the trouble you caused me today you get to stay at my place tonight! We're going to spend the entire night and tomorrow after helping Applejack studying your psychic abilities and teaching you some of our language my way." Again, you point at Pinkie.
“Pinkie said it was alright claiming that even you needed to enjoy a slumber party at somepony else’s house once in awhile.
PINKIE YOU TRAITOR YOU LEFT ME FOR DEAD!!!
“So until then Skeletor, you and I are going to do science,” she laughs like a mad scientist, and you swear lightning crashes behind her.
And so began the longest two days in your entire life…since being trapped here that is. Let's just say your sisters put you though worse back home and leave it at that.
TWO DAYS LATER
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
Sunbro4life's Comment
You wake up this morning with a sore body and sore mind. After everything had been resolved with Applejack, you were put through the grinder learning with Twilight. Between her testing your psychic abilities (and her tearing at her mane when no results showed up) and the grueling learning schedule, it's been a little tough. But on the upside, you now have a basic knowledge of pony language…OK that’s a lie, you’re still like a first grader. You’ve basically got the alphabet down, and you have written down the most fundamental words. ‘Yes’ ‘No’ ‘Maybe’ ‘I Don’t Know’ but anything else is still gonna take you a long time. The sentence and word structure they’ve implemented makes little sense, and it all looks like scribbles.
That aside, you also apologized to Applejack about what happened, and she surprisingly forgave you. As long as you promised never to tell anyone what happened while she was drunk at least. You can respect that, and you doubt anyone would believe you anyway.
You also apologized to the Apples for flipping their table, and while you will be needing to work off paying for a new one since it broke from the flip, you have been forgiven. So all in all everything was settled between you and the Apples.
Anyway, you do your daily morning ritual of getting cleaned, which somehow involves twisting your body in ways that would make a contortionist envious, and putting on your only pair of (thankfully clean) clothes, though your underwear is starting to fray, and your hobo shoes are now more tape than magazine at this point. You make your way down the stairs, wave to the Cakes, and head out the door. Since the schedule for who is watching you has been kind of messed up thanks to Applebuck Season, and since Pinkie Pie said she would be busy today, you decide that perhaps one of the others will keep an eye on you today. But you might need help.
If I remember correctly, Twilight said she would be in the park today. You start heading in that direction, noticing the guards following behind you at a respectable distance. Hopefully she’ll drop me off with Rarity or Fluttershy. I doubt Rainbow Dash is in the trusting mood.Maybe with Twilight and Fluttershy I can talk about getting some meat into my diet. I need my bacon fix dang it!
While you usually needed to have one of the Elements with you at all times, since Pinkie was busy somewhere and you were on your way to another Element anyway, your escorts figured that this could be a special exception from the rule for now.
Speaking of your escorts, both of them have been secretly been giving you the stink eye. By 'secretly' you mean whenever they think no one is looking, which is never because they’re guards and all that. Usually you would be annoyed by this but, after a lecture from Twilight (which had to be repeated three times due to dozing off) and thinking it over, you decided it was kinda deserved. You did sorta poison them after all.
Anyway, as you wander about you feel the loose gravel through the hobo shoes and wince.
Or maybe I can hold off on the bacon for now. Rarity sounds like the more pressing matter. I might as well try to get some kind of clothing that's not just my poncho. No clue when the colder weather might show up. With that thought you take out your 'To Do' list for today and add on visiting Rarity.
Hopefully she's still not upset over the whole Nightmare Moon thing. Her and Fluttershy are the only ponies I've yet to talk to after that whole thing, so for all I know they’re both holding a grudge. Well...Rarity at least, I don't think Fluttershy has the ability to hold one. Still, probably should get on her good side more before I start asking about eating her animals. Shaking your head to get your mind back on track you think,
I just hope Rarity will be willing to make non-pony clothes. As well as accept payment in the form of manual labor since I have no cash to my name. Maybe if I-
All thoughts leave your head as you suddenly find yourself soaking head to toe. You stand still in shock as you hear ponies laughing at you, including two very familiar voices laughing to your right. Ignoring flashbacks to your days in school you grumble,
Oh joy, the prankster duo from hell. Guess Griffon The Brush Off is happening soon. This is gonna suck.
You shake your head and clear any water away while looking up and giving the laughing pair of ponies the Stink Eye.
“Ha Ha Ha! We got you good you weird monkey thing!” Dash laughs with tears in her eyes.
“Yeah Skelly,” Pinkie giggles, “But look on the bright side, you got a bath and your laundry done, tee hee hee!!!” You then begin to feel a chill coming on as the water seeps in and makes your body become freezing as heck. You wrap your arms around you and your teeth start to chatter with the cold.
Dang stupid sporadic pony weather! I’m gonna…NO! you will yourself to stop your teeth from chattering, and make your wrapped arms look like a crossed arms pose. I won’t give them the satisfaction of pranking me. You then force yourself to have a blank face as you give the two pranksters a bored look. The best way to ruin a prankster’s fun is to not give them a reaction after all. It seems to work in Dash’s case as her laughing winds down.
“What? Not even a claw shake at us?” she asks you, to which you only raise an eyebrow. She just stares at you for a good few seconds before she huffs in annoyance.
“Come on Pinkie, there’s plenty more on the list for today.” She then launches herself into the air.
“Wait up Dashie! Bye Skeletor!” Pinkie then waves and follows after her friend. As the two ponies leave, you get a wonderful idea. An awful idea. You get a wonderfully, awful idea.
“What is up with that creepy smile?” you hear Foxtrot ask her partner. You don’t correct her because you are in fact sporting the Grinch’s plotting smile.
It'll take awhile to get the supplies I need, but that doesn't matter. Pinks and Skittles just ticked off the wrong human. I have so so so many delightfully torturous ideas to get back at you two. Watch your backs, because the Prankster of Revenge has gotten a new target!
Ah yes, the Prankster of Revenge. You earned that title for always pranking the bullies at school, and you always made sure to make them as over-the-top as possible. Of course your style of pranking has gotten you into trouble a good decent chunk of times, (not to mention a few trips to the Police Station and ER) but that satisfying feeling of revenge always made up for it. You begin to fondly remember the last prank you pulled before being brought to this world.
I wonder if his hair ever grew back? After pondering for a few seconds, you just chuckle and decide that you don’t want to know. Sometimes expectations are greater than reality. Speaking of reality, you are brought back to it as a gust of wind flaps at your damp poncho and you involuntarily shake.
Alright, screw this. Twilight can go get pranked on her own time, I’m getting new clothes right freaking now. You then turn back to your two escorts and gesture for them to hurry up as you then make a sort of quick march towards where you hope Carousal Boutique is.
Okay, when I get there I gotta just hope she likes charity because I don’t have a cent to my name. I could make some drawings of me doing manual labor or some chores for her in exchange. I’d do just about anything for a new set of duds. Your feet begin to get uncomfortable in the soggy hobo shoes you still wear as you half heartedly give each of your legs a shake to clear any water that may still be sticking to you.
Heck, I would even settle for a towel or something right about now, you growl as the annoyance of Pinkie's and Rainbow's prank really starts to set in.
Greatness942's
Stupid prankster ponies and their stupid water buckets. And on the same day I had a good dream! GRA-
“There he is Bon Bon!” Your mental scream is interrupted by, of all things, Lyra and Bon-Bon. Turning to your left you see the unicorn and earth pony sitting on their usual park bench. Bon-Bon is about as perplexed as a drunk weasel that just watched a twenty-four hour compilation of ECW matches and episodes of Teletubbies, while Lyra is more overjoyed than Jeffrey Dahmer on bargain day in a knife shop.
"Wow! See, Bonnie, I told you! And on the same day a real life Griffon gets invited! Rainbow Dash has been bragging about her friend and-I'm getting ahead of myself. Hi again, Skelly!" she says, clearly remembering Pinkie saying your preferred name.
Once I’m able to communicate better, I’m adding Lord to the beginning of my name. Pinkie and Lyra are Okay, but more ponies should know to give respect to Lord Skele-
"L-Lyra!" Sweetie Drops/Bon-Bon gasps, a hoof over her mouth, "I-I'm shocked. You really weren't crazy when you talked about those bipeds, huh?"
"Nope! I've told you so!" Lyra brags, "I wouldn't have found out about them, though, if my granddad didn't tell me about the time he met one!"
...Wait, what? At your confusion, she continues.
"Oh right, I didn’t mention that to you?” she asks and you shake your head no. “Oh, sorry. I just so caught up letting my Canterlot friends know about you. Minuette, Lemon Hearts and the rest are very eager to meet you. But yeah, my Granddad always told me that when he was little he-*SPLAT*” she is interrupted as a tomato hits her in the face, making the whole thing red.
"Haha, nice one, Pinkie!" Dash says, before flying off in search of more ponies, Pinkie bouncing in tow.
Stupid interrupting tomatoes! Always at the most inconvenient times! Yeah, this isn’t the first time you’ve been in this exact situation.
"...Um, Lyra? You okay?" Bon-Bon asks her friend, who is no longer speaking. After a few eye blinks, Lyra wipes the sauce from her face and declares in determination.
“Oh, It Is ON!” she then trots off after Pinkie and Rainbow Dash leaving you and Bon Bon in the dirt.
“Wait Lyra! Um…Nice to meet you. Bye,” the earth pony declares before chasing after the upset unicorn. You slump your shoulders and sigh.
And the plot thickens. At this point it’s turning into a conspiracy. But I’ve already got so many quest lines… Alright, think of it this way, brain: Main Quest: Become a weird hybrid of Skeletor and Joseph Joestar and finally defeat any universe hopping He-Men I meet. Side Quest 1: Find Megan. Side Quest 2: Investigate Lyra's claim. There! Hey, maybe I should keep a record of this...
And thus, you pull out your sketch pad and write your objectives down (in English. It's not like anyone else will read them, after all). You also give your notebook a once over to check for any water damage. Thankfully it seems your notebook was spared from Pinkie's and Rainbow's prank.
Oh thank God! If I lost this thing then no one would be able to understand me. Worse I wouldn't be able to convey my 'psychic' visions. Though how did you stay dry while the rest of me got wet? You double check your notebook, and yet still no signs of damage. This causes you to 'hum' in thought.
Interesting...maybe this is cartoon logic at work? Maybe Celestia put some sort of spell on it? Oh...why can't I ever just understand something immediately when I notice it?! Is it too much to ask for a straight up answer universe!? You shake your fist in anger towards the sky at the universe for making your life difficult, but this display is interrupted by a cough.
"Knock it off, you’re scaring the populace." You shoot a quick glare at Foxtrot before looking around. It is as she says, the ponies around you are either looking at you weirdly or in straight up eyes widened fright. This causes you to awkwardly lower your fist.
Stupid ponies and their need to jump to conclusions and having to be scared of creatures they don't know! I'm not that scary dang it! With a shake of your head you put your focus back on finding Rarity's shope. You can worry about the skittish ponies later. I wonder if I'll ever be on their good side...?
With that thought you continue your search with your escorts in tow.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
After a few more minutes of looking around you finally found Rarity's place. In that time you've seen the prankster duo prank almost everybody in town. Half the town looks like a paint nuke went off, and the other half is covered in all assortment of props.
You honestly think that their spree has gone a little too far, and you can't tell if this was supposed to happen or if you did something to make the results of their pranking this crazy.
Ugh stupid show only showing them pranking the other main characters! I really hope this was supposed to happen...and that they don't get sued for property damage. Well Pinkie at least, Rainbow on the other hand... Shaking your head you turn towards your two escorts and point at Carousal Boutique. Foxtrot gets your attention and turns to her partner.
"Alright. O'Carroll you watch the front, I'll keep an eye on it inside." Your eye twitches at that as you think,
I'm not an it! I'm a he! He God dang it! Get it right you stupid prissy guard or I will devour your soul!
Foxtrot seems to notice your frustration and simply smirks, which only aggravates you more. But you quickly take a few deep breaths before you do anything drastic. With that, you and Foxtrot head over to Rarity's door and you...
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
Start to knock when you remember that this place is a business and you don't need to knock. You open the door and the both of you walk inside.
"I'll be there in a minute!" You hear Rarity call out from somewhere further in.
Huh, she must have some sort of spell to let her know when a customer arrives.
*Cling Cling* You look up to the bell chime hanging from the door.
Or it’s something much more mundane. You find a tiny chair and carefully sit down, hoping that this one doesn't fall victim to your size. (So far, you’ve broken at least a dozen)
Freaking ponies and their chairs, you'd think that they would make seats for other species but noooo. Foxtrot, meanwhile, just smiles smugly before sitting at the chair opposite of you. You give her a quick bird (which she still doesn’t understand) before you proceed to ignore her till Rarity shows up.
Just as Rarity promised, she shows up in about a minute. "How can I help- oh it's you." She doesn't seem very happy to see you.
Well screw you too. You attempt to be nice and smile and wave, but all she does is glare at your damp poncho as if it were a living creature just waiting to strike. You then snap your fingers a few times, bringing her attention back to you.
“Hmm? Oh yes. Well what is it you want? I don’t recall today being the day I am forced to babysit you.” You roll your eyes before drawing your request for her to make some clothing for you.
"You want me to make clothes for you?" She asks. You nod and point at your drawing of pants, shirts, and even the almighty Skeletor outfit. Her eyes follow all of these before she finally looks up back to you. "Do you have bits to pay me?" You slowly shake your head. "I'm sorry, but no."
What? You scream mentally, I thought you're supposed to be the Element of Generosity! You're supposed to be 'of course I'll make you clothes!' then it gets awkward when you measure me and you give me clothes for free and stuff! It happens in every fanfic ever! You proceed to draw out your complaints and frustration. Rarity, understandably, doesn’t get your drawings. It’s only when you draw her Element Necklace and point at it over and over again that it clicks.
"Generous I may be, but I'm not a charity case darling. I run a business and I don't have the time to waste money trying to make clothes work for an entirely new species that I can't even use for other projects. Maybe we can work something out when you have a way to compensate me for it. Until that time though, please leave, I have several orders to fill." With that said she turns around to leave, and when she does you swear you hear Foxtrot hiding her laughter behind you.
Not good! If I don't get those clothes then who knows how long it'll be before I can actually make some cash! Come on brain think! Think! Thin-
And like that you had an idea. You quickly...
To make a good second impression with Rarity, see if you can intercept those flowers laced with sneezing powder. The hard part, of course, is to intervene after she has seen the flowers but before she falls prey to them.
Start to convulse and make sure to cause as much noise as possible as you do. Rarity looks behind to inspect the noise, and her eyes widen at your little display.
"What the-What is going on?! Are you having some sort of seizure!? Oh I knew I should have taken that med course back in high school!" Before Rarity can freak out too much, Foxtrot comes to her rescue.
"Relax ma'am, it's just having a....*sigh*vision. This is perfectly normal for the creature." Rarity blinks a few times in confusion before she asks,
"A...vision?" Foxtrot nods and continues.
"Yes. Apparently the creature has some sort of psychic abilities. It can predict the future, but it happens at random. Usually when it’s most convenient for the creature." Foxtrot scoffs. "Honestly I think it’s a bunch of bullspit. The creature is probably just faking to get out of trouble, but not everypony seems to share my views on it. Even my own partner believes it."
You know for a guard you sure do talk a lot. Also HA, you are so totally the Lassiter of this universe...wait does that mean the other guard is Juliet since he believes me? Won't that mean-you know what focus on the task at hand. Rarity raises an eyebrow at this before looking at your still convulsing form.
"Oh really...I wonder what he is 'seeing' now?" You take that as your que to get things started. So you quickly take out your notepad and draw a picture.
You draw Rarity's cutie mark accepting some flowers, then have an arrow point to her sniffing them. Then another arrow pointing her to sneezing like a mad mare with tiny dots around her nose and the flowers, and a final arrow pointing to Rainbow and Pinkie's cutie marks laughing. You end your convulsions as Rarity begins to investigate your prediction. She makes a 'hmmmm' sound in thought before she looks at you and asks,
"So you had a vision of Rainbow Dash and Pinkie making me sneeze with flowers?" You nod your head at this, to which she sighs.
"Well dear thank you for the warning, though I highly doubt this 'vision' of yours will come true, I’m not allergic at all. Anyway, as I said, I’m busy so ta ta for now." With that said you find yourself lifted up via magic and thrown out of the building. You lay on the ground for a good couple of seconds before your anger gets the better of you.
That bitch! You flip the double bird in her direction, How dare you have logic and self interest! Even after I helped you avoid a sneezing doom! Damn you Tabitha! Damn you and your amazing voice to hell!!! You slam the ground with a low growl that sends nearby ponies into a panic. Your overdramatic display is quickly stopped by the laughter of one Foxtrot.
"Oh sweet Celestia, you have got to be the most unlucky creature in the universe! This job is going to be so much more fun than I thought!" she chuckles and leans onto O’Carrol for support. You just give her a glare, show the two guards a picture of Sugarcube Corner, and leave in a huff.
That’s it you whorse, you’re now on the list.
You then flip to your notebook page which is titled “List of He-Mans” On it are a list of characters from the show that you feel must be punished. You put her name under the others.
You’re just a jerk missy, like Angel Bunny, but I will get you back. Though you’re low key compared to the others. You glare at the other names.
Spoiled Rich, Zesty Gourmand, Suri Polomare, Chimera that tried to eat Applebloom, Green Dragon that tried to kill Spike and Twilight, Unnamed Griffon who left Rainbow to die in that canyon, and of course…
Svengallop! I swear by the Power of Greyskull, you will pay. Heck, I might just make an exception and eat you. I do need the protein to bulk up after all… You then shake your head from these thoughts and place the notebook away.
Okay, I’ve got to calm down before I do something drastic. Today was just a bad day to get out of bed. Better just go back and sleep my life away before anything else can go wrong.
And sleep in you did.
...
...
...
What? That's it, get on with the time skip already.
THE NEXT DAY
This morning has been far better than yesterday, at least in your opinion. Your poncho has dried off, and you found some old cooking magazines to turn into new shoes. And Pinkie is currently in the bathroom laughing her butt off while being covered in ketchup, so you'd have to say that today's been good so far.
...
...
...
Right, should probably explain that. See you decided to get you revenge against Pinkie and Rainbow early this morning. You...
But to get them back your gona need time and supplies to prank them back and you get a few good ideas how but the one that your mind comes to first is putting ketchup packets under a toilet seat
Put about a dozen of ketchup packets under the toilet seat in Pinkie's bathroom, but you didn't stop there. You spent a good couple of hours setting up ketchup bombs all around the bathroom. Where and how you got the supplies for said bombs is a mystery that no one needs to know about…Okay, you took them from Pinkie’s closet. There, not so mysterious and exciting now is it?
Anyway, when Pinkie sat down not only did she pop the ketchup under the seat, but also set off the ketchup bombs around her. Needless to say her bathroom now has a nice shade of red. You’re actually kinda proud that you were able to pull it off considering Pinkie's...Pinkieness, but the fact that it covered the whole room thanks to cartoon logic was an added bonus. This leads us to now, with you standing in Pinkie's room laughing airily as Pinkie comes out of the bathroom a nice shade of red.
"Wowy! That was a super neat prank Skelly! I don't think I've ever been covered head to hoof in ketchup before!" she declares with a huge grin on her face.
With that said she proceeded to lick all the ketchup off of her ala Scooby Doo. If it weren't Pinkie that did it you would have questioned the physics behind it. Instead you just nodded your head at the physics breaking pony.
"Oh! Are you gonna prank Rainbow next? Are ya!? Are ya!? Are ya!?"
Oh you have no idea you adorable pink pony you, you smirk and pat her poofy head. With that thought you reach behind your back and pull out...
For Gilda, sneezing powder-laced catnip. For Dash, a rainbow cupcake. Do NOTHING to the cupcake, her paranoia will do it all. When she refuses, eat it in front of her with great joy. Cackle Skeletor, cackle!!!
A simple rainbow frosted cupcake. Pinkie gains an excited look as she starts to bounce up and down.
"Le gasp! You made her a cupcake!? Is it laced with hot sauce? Itching powder? Oh I know, you put laxatives in there didn't you Skelly?!" She then becomes serious, "Ooooh, you’re good Skelly real good, maybe even the best! Well...besides me and Rainbow I mean."
I...didn't do anything to this thing. Just gonna make her a paranoid mess because she'll think I did something. Also they have laxatives in this world!? Geeze that must be double as disgusting... Shaking it off you just smile mysteriously and hand her the cupcake. Pinkie takes it and gives you a salute.
"Gotcha, I'll give Rainbow this laxative cupcake right away! I won't tell her a thing besides that you made it. See ya Skelly!" With that Pinkie zooms off, leaving you thinking that it might have been a bad idea to not tell her you did nothing to the cupcake.
Eh, future me’s problem. With that thought in mind you exit Sugarcube Corner with your escorts in tow to enact your plan that you thought up last night. Not before grabbing some sneezing powder Pinkie left in her room though, just in case. If the timeline is still on track Gilda should be in town today. For all I know she might attack me on sight, or Rainbow might do something rash and she'll get involved. Hopefully nothing happens, but you never know.
As you and your escorts start to head towards the market square (with an excuse that you’re meeting up with one of the Elements there) you start to think about the Gilda situation.
Denneylaw's Comment
You know considering what Gilda will do to poor Fluttershy I should try to stop it from happening. An image of a crying Fluttershy pops into your head, and you can't help but glare. Maybe use my 'psychic' visions to warn Fluttershy to stay away from Gilda? Not only do I avoid Fluttershy crying and Rainbow losing a long time friend, but I could also get Fluttershy to be less afraid of me! Maybe if I'm really lucky she might give me an appreciative hug!
You gain a huge smile at the mental image of Fluttershy hugging you, and you have to stop yourself from giggling from the adorableness. You quickly snap yourself out of it as you continue to think,
Besides this will be better then never having it resolved, even AFTER her reformation. I mean come on, what's the point of reforming a character if she never comes back?! If Ex Cult Leader Starlight can become a main character, and Trixie her best friend, then why can't Gilda?! She was adorable as a filly! Seriously Hasbro come o- Before you can continue your rant you realize that you've reached your destination.
Huh...I guess letting your mind wander does make time fly, you look around in surprise before shrugging. Whelp, time to get to work.
And so you...
BrownDog's Comment
Start setting up some flattened cardboard boxes, you draw the money symbol on one, and set the rest as a stage. Your escorts look at you in confusion, but you ignore them and their jerkish faces.
Really only one way to make a buck when you’re a strange creature in a strange land. Side show attraction work. You wait till you gather an audience and then, in full view of the lunch crowd, you begin Beat Boxing and Breakdancing your heart out.
Many of the ponies are absolutely mesmerized by your skills. They especially seem awed by your robot moves, accompanied by your sound effects. You can even see Foxtrot out of the corner of your eye looking at your awesome moves in fascination.
Hmmm. Keep being impressed Prissy Pony and I might relegate you to prank victim… You continue to showcase your Rad moves, as the audience clops their hooves and cheer. Quite a few place some bits in the soda cup you pulled from the trash.
Yes! Yes! Give alms to your dancing God little equines! Muhahahaha!!!
And at one point, you see Vinyl Scratch walk up smile at you and give you a "Heck Ya" look, as she drops a generous amount of bits into your cup. She then smiles at you sympathetically and pats her own throat, before nodding and walking away.
Alright, a famous background pony! Still haven't met Derpy yet...Wait a minute, Vinyl's never spoken in the show! Is she Mute Too?! By the time you get up off the floor and look through the crowd you lose sight of her. You decide to add meeting up with her to the list to find out how a mute pony acts in this world. Could be helpful.
After what could either be hours, or only minutes (it’s hard to tell when your dance moves are this awesome), you hear chuckling from the crowd.
"Heh, you must be that demon monster thing Dash was talking about. Pretty sick moves you've got there."
And that's how you meet Gilda.
The crowd of ponies practically rush to move out of the griffon’s way. You would have rolled your eyes at this if you weren't so shocked that she ran into you and not the other way around.
Great, still haven't thought up a plan for you yet and you show up! Also, demon monster? Really Dash? Couldn't think of anything better? Noticing your deadpanned stare the griffon chuckles before saying,
"Yeah, Dash was never good when it came to nicknames. Always was too general with them.” This only serves to confuse you.
Okay one, why are you telling me this? And Two, why are you friendly with me? If Dash told you about me then why are you acting all nice and not like a total jerk like the show? Before your mind can spiral down a tunnel of questions Gilda asks you,
"Hey, why don't you come with me for awhile? I want to ask you some questions.” You scoff and point to your money sign and your dance floor.
“Hate to say it pal, but your audience kind of took off,” she gestures around her and you finally notice the ponies have dispersed. Most likely to avoid being around her.
Oh Come On! I had a good thing going here! You groan before sighing. You then look at Gilda for a good couple of seconds to try and see if she's up to anything. After not finding anything you...
KingDouchePrick's Comment
Nod your head.
Might as well, I can always dance again later. I may not have a plan, but I do have sneezing powder if things go wrong. This is a perfect opportunity to try and see if modifying the timeline will cause any major changes. And if it does, hopefully it only gets rid of the poorly written episodes
Gilda smiles at this, though it’s kinda hard to tell with the beak and all that. As she starts to walk away you follow after picking up your cup of Bits. Your escorts shrug at each other before following. As you walk you check just how many Bits you had, and to your surprise you have 25 Bits.
Huh. Not bad. Guess ponies are more generous than I thought, unlike Rarity!
SOMETIME LATER
As you walk with the Griffon, she starts chatting with you.
“Yeesh you are freaking tall. I saw a Minotaur once, ugliest monster I ever did see. I think the ugly stick was a bit kinder on you though,” she chuckles.
Umm, thanks? She sees your confusion and just chuckles again.
“Dash has told me a few things about you. Whatever you did to tick her off must have been big, though she won’t tell me exactly what it is.” She then glares at you. “Rainbow is my best friend, so if I ever find out it was something bad, I will beat you up no sweat understand?”
Why is every creature in this place hostile towards me?! She then drops the face just as quickly as it came.
“But I believe in seeing things for myself. Besides, you can’t be all bad if you knocked out that annoying hyperactive Pink Idiot.”
She then laughs out loud, which causes her to miss your scowl at the insult to Pinkie. Before you can voice, or rather draw your disapproval, you realize something. Something very important. You’re in the middle of Gilda's 'true colors' scene from the show. You see Granny Smith up ahead, and where Gilda will steal the apple.
Alright, time to derail this episode! You get up ahead of her and start walking in the completely opposite direction. She raises a brow at your change of pace, but she follows you and continues on with the questioning.
“So listen, Dash told me you couldn’t talk right?” You nod in the affirmative. “But you can still draw some stuff out,” she points at your notepad. After another nod she stops and gets a sheepish look.
“Anyway…Rainbow Dash told me you were psychic, and that you predicted me coming here, even before she told anyone…” she lets the question hang, and you nod and show her said “prediction” page.
“So Cool…” she gasps before looking at you nervously and scratching the back of her head. “Can I…Can I ask you a question about my future?”
Okaaay, where’s this going? You think even as you hear Foxtrot sigh in frustration.
“I just want to know…am I ever going to get out of that dump of a town Griffonstone?” You are thrown for a loop. The sincerity in which she asks the question, and the combined look of hope and fear on her face makes you want to console her.
Poor Cat-Bird. I can’t tell you that, because even I don’t know. Besides, you have to stay there to make friends with Gretta and Gabby and make the town better. Well, aside from that one Griffon that left Rainbow Dash to die, she can be plucked for all I care but… Gilda suddenly pitches forward, almost eating the dirt.
“Oomph! Hey!” Gilda turns around and barks behind her.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” a timid voice sounds off and your eyes widen.
“Why don’t you watch where you’re going?!” Gilda yells and you finally notice Fluttershy with her ducks who have backed into the Griffon.
OH CRAP! I skipped the other true color events and jumpstarted this one! Fluttershy is starting to wilt down, and you know what will happen once Gilda stands back up.
This is my chance! I can stop her before all the bad stuff happens and make her reformation not take Four Years! Adorable Little Kid Gilda will live on in this fluffy Bird Cat! With only seconds to spare, you decide to do the only thing you seem to be good at. You...
Punch the griffon for being mean, but then pet it better. It is part cat after all. Maybe get her a treat to lighten her mood?
Punch the griffon in her foreleg, causing her to fall forward onto the ground completely.
“Ow! What the heck?!”
“Oh My Goodness!” Fluttershy sputters.
NO! That’s not how you reform things! Bad Skeletor! Crap What Do I Do Now?! The full anger of a bird and a cat are going to…wait, that’s it!
“What’s the big idea you chump?!” she gets up and glares at you. “I ought to sock you right in the-HEY! What are you-Stop That!”
NEVER!!! You mentally scream as you start petting her. You know she's part cat, and you figured she might follow cat logic.
"Cut it out!" she fights back, but you continue. "That feels...good. Stop it!" she purrs as her back arches.
Yes! Who’s a good kitty? Who’s a good kitty? You start scratching under her chin and she starts relaxing and purring more.
“Th-There’s ponies watching. C-cut it out you dweeb,” she strains.
“Oh…My…” comes the embarrassed voice of Fluttershy. You look over to her and see her hiding the eyes of the ducks from your petting antics. Looking around, you see other ponies, mostly mares, gawking at you in outrage.
What?! This is just petting! It’s not anything weird you freaking perverts!
With you momentarily distracted due to ranting, Gilda attempts to break free from your entrapment, but this only causes you both to tumble into each other...and for fate to once again screw you over as her lips land on yours.
You would curse whoever's out there for causing you to yet again kiss a non human, or for Fluttershy and the other mares on the street for thinking that you initiated this, or the fact that Gilda seems to have a faint blush and a dazed look in her eyes. You would do all that normally, but in this case you don’t because the thing is…beaks are sharp.
AAAAAHHHHH!!!! My F@#$ing Lips!!! You mentally screech as you sit up and blood drips from your cut lips onto the dazed Griffon below you. Whatever expression Gilda had disappears when she finally realizes she has some shiny human blood on her face.
"AAAAHHH!!! It's Bleeding On Me! It’s in my eye! EW EW EW!!!" Gilda cries out, trying to scramble away from you. She succeeds and flies off. When she does you get up and check your lip, and to your relief it doesn’t feel serious, but it still hurts like hell.
Oh thank God, I thought my whole lip got torn off or something. Stupid beaks and their sharpness.
“Oh My Gosh! We need to stop that bleeding ASAP,” Fluttershy gasps with her hooves to her mouth, her ducks quacking all around her. “Does anypony have any napkins?” Fluttershy asks to the crowd who look at your bleeding mouth in shock.
Oh right. Looks like I stopped that incident, only cause another one. But hey, at least Fluttershy isn’t crying. And wait a second, wasn’t Pinkie Pie watching all of th-
“SKELETOR!!!” Pinkie is suddenly clutching your side, as if she was there all along. “Oh No, Oh No! Skelly! What did Gilda do to you?!” she shouts in panic.
What? Oh Crap. I didn’t just make her a target did I?
“Her beak cut his lips up Pinkie Pie. But don’t worry, it’s going to be alright” Fluttershy explains as she hovers close and presses a wad full of napkins against your cut, and they start turning red immediately. “Oh my…” she gags and seems faintish.
Ok, I’m glad you’re coming around to me Fluttershy, and I really appreciate the first aid, but seriously haven’t you ponies ever heard of-
“Oh that settles it then. I thought she might just be a jerk, but she’s downright evil!” Pinkie yells in anger.
-Phrasing…Damn it! The more I change, the more it stays the same somehow!
As you are being tended to by Fluttershy and staring down a pissed looking Pinkie, theonly thing on your mind is...
Greatness942's Comment
Okay, so, this is bad. Don't worry, not every change will be like this. I mean, by the time I get my Stand, the show's canon will probably twist and turn more than a silly straw. Okay, let's try and fix this.
You immediately begin drawing, carefully keeping the notepad away from your lips, and weaving the tale of Gilda preparing to accost Fluttershy, and you absolutely humiliating both her and yourself at the same time.
"...So, wait, you saw that she was going to mess with Fluttershy?"
Nod.
"So you attacked her and then began...petting her? Or is that an ear scratch?"
...Yes? Confused Nod
"And then she kissed you for some reason?"
Don't say it like that! Scowling Nod
“Is that true Fluttershy?” Pinkie asks.
“Oh, well…I don’t know about her trying to hurt me, but I did see him touching her a lot…”
Fluttershy!
“But then yes his lips and her beak met and…well…but I’m sure it was an accident,” she gestures to the bloody napkins held to your mouth.
"...Hmmph. Like that changes a thing! She was still gonna hurt you Fluttershy, or at least hurt your feelings, Skelly’s predictions are hardly wrong. And accident or not, he’s bleeding! What if he dies from it?! Ugh! Somepony’s got to teach her a lesson!" she shouts. You try to hold your arms out to stop her, but she hops off, more huffy than normal. But you don’t let her get too far as you quickly...
Sunbro4life's Comment
Grab the pink pony and hold onto her tight,
“Please don’t struggle so much, your lips still need time to form a scab,” Fluttershy warns, and you try to adjust your grip and hold Pinkie in a manner that doesn't get in Fluttershy's way. That is easier said than done though.
"Come on Skelly, we can have hug time later!” Pinkie groans in annoyance and struggles. “I need to teach that no good meanie a lesson for hurting one of my friends!"
And that's exactly why I'm stopping you! You groan as you give her a deadpan look. I don't need you going super overboard and causing an even bigger scene or changing the timeline too much! So I'm gonna do something stupid that'll hopefully set things right.
With that thought you proceed to start to convulse, but not as exaggerated as you usually do since you need to keep your grip on Pinkie. Your “prediction fit” causes Fluttershy to gasp in worry.
"Oh no oh no oh no! He IS being affected by the blood loss! We need to get him to the hospital soon or he'll-" Before Fluttershy could finish she is interrupted by Pinkie's giggling. Fluttershy looks over at the now non-struggling Pinkie in shock, but the pink mare ignores her look entirely.
"Silly Fluttershy, Skeletor isn't in any trouble. He's just having a vision because of his super cool awesome psychic powers!"
“Psychic powers?” Fluttershy gasps in confusion.
“Ya, didn’t Twilight tell you about all the tests she’s been running with him?” Fluttershy shakes her head while you continue to convulse.
“Huh, well it’s true. He can see the future. Look, he’s drawing it right now,” she points to you drawing. Luckily the wad of napkins have stuck to your lips.
I hope they have lip balm in this world, you ponder as your pencil dances across the page.
“Oh my, how fascinating,” Fluttershy mutters and you hear Foxtrot sigh and sag her shoulders.
Yes, Good. Be annoyed you fox faced sow! Tis the slow burn of the mighty Skeletor's wrath! Soon you will know the true meaning of mise-wait, no stop! Focus brain! Fake vision now, revenge against Foxtrot later.
You basically write down all the pranks Gilda falls for during the party, but toned down versions of them. Your logic being that if you show Pinkie what happens at the party she might be more inclined to not do any pranks. It's unlikely, but you figured it was worth a shot.
Hopefully she falls for this. If I'm gonna avoid Gilda’s meltdown, I'll need to know exactly what each prank is gonna do. Might be a good idea to draw Gilda acting out too, might even put Pinkie off the whole idea in the first place.
After you finish drawing the cake prank you begin to draw Gilda blowing up and losing her friendship with Dash, but before you can finish Pinkie gasps and says,
"Oh Skelletor these pranks are perfect! I was just gonna throw a party and confront her, but these are such good ideas I just have to play them myself! I'll have to amp them up a bit though, these are kinda 'meh' after all." The next thing you know Pinkie is out of your hold and is bouncing down the street with a huge mischievous grin on her face.
What the hell? When did she get out of my grip? She looks over to you one more time as she yells,
"Thanks for the ideas Skelly! I'm gonna show that mean old griffon who’s boss for sure now!" You extend your arms towards Pinkie with panic in your eyes.
Wait no Pinkie! Get back her you misguided pink puffball! Rainbow Dash was the one to cause those pranks, not you! You were supposed to be the one trying to make her happy and appeal to her good nature! Dang it Pinkie get back here! Your thoughts are all for naught as she bounces out of view. You can't help but sigh dejectedly and sink to your knees at this character deviation you’ve caused.
Crap, Gilda’s gonna freak out for sure, and Rainbow Dash might blame Pinkie. I gotta fix this somehow…
While you wallow in self pity, Fluttershy takes the opportunity to take off your bloodied napkins, and shakily apply a fresh set.
Well, at least now Fluttershy isn’t shaking in fear of me, just my blood. My luck can only improve from here. Not even a second after you think that you hear a cough behind you.
"So...you claim you were trying to protect the Element Bearer, huh?" Alabaster Foxtrot asks giving you a studious look. You raise an eyebrow and nod, Fluttershy’s hoof following your head movements. "If that’s the case maybe you're not...bad-bad after all…but I'm keepin' my eye on you, though. I’m certain a very public display of affection didn’t need to be implemented, and I certainly haven’t forgotten the Baked Bads…" To her confusion, you suddenly smile smugly.
It wasn’t anything lewd, but if you keep thinking I’m not so bad I'll definitely take you off the He-Man list. To stroke my ego further: Your next line shall be "Those weird smiles are still creepy though...stop that!", am I right?
"Those weird smiles are still creepy though...stop that!" Alabaster says, which only makes you more smug in your grin. It soon fades though as you grimace at the ointment that Fluttershy suddenly spreads on your cut.
“Sorry, Sorry!” she apologizes, “It will only sting for a bit, but it will help keep off infection.
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
I really hope that getting comically injured isn't going be a pattern in my life now.
"There we go," Fluttershy says as she finishes applying the balm, "Let me know if it starts bleeding again okay?" You nod at her and smile.
“Oh…canine teeth?” she gasps getting a close look at your teeth.
Crap! You panic and shut your lips, wincing from the cut. Please don’t freak out! Please don’t freak-
“An omnivore. How curious…” she mutters as she looks at you like you’re some science specimen.
Don’t you start giving me those Twilight looks. I’ve had enough of those to last me a-
“Well, get better Mr. Skeletor. I uh- I have to round up the ducks and get them to their pond.” She then gives your knee a cautious comforting pat while smiling adorably.
You wish you could bask in the adorableness of this gesture, and it takes all of your will power not to just reach down and hug her,
Baby steps Skeletor, Baby steps! But I will hug you one day you soft adorable pony! Oblivious to your mental struggle, Fluttershy smiles again and trots away after the ducks. And not a moment too soon, you have some business to take care of, and you don’t need any cute distractions.
Now if I was an embarrassed griffon in a pony town, where would I go...?
After a few moments of pondering, you realize you have absolutely no idea. You decide your best bet would be to look for her in the direction she flew off to. Before you can get even a few feet however, you are stopped by your escorts.
"And where do you think you’re going? Sugarcube Corner and the Library are the other way. You need to be with one of the Elements at all times, remember?"
Sighing at Foxtrot’s question you simply show her a page with Gilda and tap it.
"You’re going after the griffon?" she asks after giving her partner a confused side glance. At your nod, she asks, "Why? Isn't Ms. Pie taking care of her?"
You roll your eyes at this as you show her and her partner the half finished picture of Gilda blowing up at the party. This causes Foxtrot’s eyes to scrunch up.
"So the griffon and Ms. Dash get into a fight, what about it? I've been told they’re friends, and friends fight all the time."
That is true, but this is a huge fight in front of a bunch of people. Those kind of fights in that situation only ever ends in trouble! That's basic common sense Foxtrot, come on! You facepalm and shake your head in shame. Before you can draw your thoughts though, O'Carroll speaks up,
"Maybe he wants to stop the fight from happening ma'am? Friends fight all the time true, but he might be predicting a bad one." Foxtrot looks at O'Carroll in confusion before looking at you as if to confirm what he said was true. Since it is you nod your head.
"Okay so you want to stop the fight, I get that. But why do you need to find the griffon now? Wouldn't it just be easier to wait for her to show up at the party or something?" Before you can even think anything O'Carroll beats you to the punch again.
"Actually ma'am if he found the griffon now he could try and get on her good side again. Then he could keep her in line during the party like he did now…though hopefully in a less lewd manner."
It wasn’t lewd! And dang man! You must be some sort of genius to figure all that out from just my picture! You think giving the stallion an awed look. Even his superior is giving him one.
"I uh...took a few deductive reasoning classes during training. Figured it might help me out catching runaway criminals," he mumbles a bit embarrassed by both of your intense stares.
“Hmm, guess those classes served you well Oak- I mean, O’Carrol. But I think it’s just making excuses to get close to that griffon again,” she snickers. You roll your eyes and huff which causes her to smirk harder.
“Just so long as it’s not in view of everypony under the sun, I won’t judge,” she says clearly judging. “So by all means let’s go find that griffon!"
You grumble slightly at her reasons for allowing you to look, but you decide to not look a gift horse (pony) in the mouth and just roll with it.
Look out Gilda, here I come!
With that thought you set out to look for the griffon with your escorts in tow.
A FEW MINUTES LATER
Sunbro4life's Comment
As you and your escorts look around for Gilda, you don’t have much luck.
Dang it Cat Bird! Where are you? It shouldn’t be this hard to find a non-pony in this place.
Or so you would have assumed, but you’ve shown quite a few ponies her sketch, and they’ve just shrugged. With both O’Carrol and Foxtrot more closely at your sides, and your Moon Poncho still on display, some ponies have assumed you’re working for the princesses.
As if. I bet their pay rates are heavenly…Speaking of princesses, I wonder what Luna is up to?
Your mind wanders to the Moon Princess who is the only reason (besides Pinkie) why you’re not stone yet.
I hope she's feeling okay. Growing your body back to adult size cannot feel that good I reckon. I’d love just to talk to her when she’s not all nightmared up. I must have done something right for her to think I’m her friend. Hopefully Celestia is keeping her out of politics while she recovers and that none of those prissy nobles are trying to take advantage of her naïve mind. Celestia herself wouldn’t be able to stop me if that happened. Heck, she’d probably join in. No one hurts little Woona without getting a beating dang it!
“It’s making that face again Oak,” Foxtrot whispers to her partner.
“He’s always making that face Fox. Maybe he’s just hungry,” the stallion whispers back.
You will your face to remain blank and push down the misplaced rage you felt.
Calm down mind, Celestia would never let that happen. Besides by Pony Halloween, she’ll still be antiquated and reclusive, so I doubt she’d be dealing with any nobles. I wonder when she'll be back to full power? Stupid show not showing her recovery process. Do I really have to wait till Nightmare Night?
Your mind begins to make up multiple scenarios involving you and Pinkie and even Spike sneaking into the castle to visit Luna. You can't keep a smile off your face when you imagine the four of you sitting together and eating moon pies.
A new friendship should always be celebrated with a pie and a pun after all. I hope they have moon pies here. Which reminds me, what kind of pie can I make/buy/borrow/steal that could also be a pun for dragons? If they have Zebra Cakes in this world, then I’ve got Zecora covered…or would she just feel insulted?
Before your mind wanders down another pit of unrelated random thoughts, you hear a lot of sneezing coming from the distance. You look over to the source and see none other than Rarity sneezing her flank off.
Ha! Karma strikes again! You should have taken my warning marshmallow, now you'll be sneezing for who knows how long! Nyehaha!!! You would have continued you mental celebration if the seamstress didn’t then start heading your way. You and your escorts share a look, and when she finally gets to you all she opens her mouth to say something, but only a sneeze comes out.
She continues to try and say something only to be stopped by her sneezing for a good couple of seconds. Deciding to take pity on the unicorn, and realizing that waiting for her to speak is just wasting time trying to find Gilda, you just tap the picture you’d drawn for her yesterday and giver an 'I told you so' look and shrug.
Rarity looks at the picture for a couple of seconds, before turning her face down in embarrassment, her nose scrunching up. You simply pat her on the head and give her a sympathetic smile. Rarity seems to understand as she smiles back before she walks off sneezing all the way.
Your smug look returns when she's out of sight as you put your hands on your hips and smirk at Foxtrot. She gives you the stink eye as her partner comes over and bumps her
"See ma'am I told you! He can see glimpses of the future!" She glances back to you with a heavy glare as you give a Grinchy grin.
Ah karma, always helping me one way or the other as usual. Though what’s with the formal speak? Weren’t you two just whispering nicknames to each other?
"What’s with that look?” Foxtrot asks to your glances at both of them.
Hmm, I’m keeping my eye on you two. Might possibly be blackmail material for later. Now let’s get back to finding Gilda and th-
"Hey...uh monkey thing!"
Or she could find us, that works too.
You and your escorts turn around to face the griffon. You were expecting an enraged or even annoyed look from her, but instead she just has...
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
An odd expression on her face. She rubs the back of her head.
“Uh…hey,” she mumbles and you wave.
“How…how are your lips?” she asks.
You gingerly touch them, and they are still sore, but at least they aren’t bleeding. She sees you wince at that.
“Yeesh…look, can you and I just talk for a second? What was your name again? Skellington?”
“It calls itself Skeletor ma’am,” Foxtrot speaks up, drawing the griffon’s eyes. “And it’s been looking for you actually.”
“Okay…cool,” she then looks at you, “Can we just talk by ourselves?” she asks apprehensively. Foxtrot and O’Carroll immediately drop back at that.
Why do I suddenly feel abandoned? Now that you two have space, she starts to speak again.
"Hey so about that-" She's interrupted by a loud growl from your stomach, scaring away the other ponies who were passing by. You huff in frustration,
Come on! Why do you freaking ponies need to be so dang skittish? Gilda chuckles at their antics.
"Hungry huh? Hey, I’ve got something we can eat if you want it, though the ponies might not like it.”
Then from her saddlebags, she pulls out something glorious.
I have seen the heavens! And it is in front of me!
Before you is an honest to goodness BLT Sandwich. Emphasis on the bacon in that abbreviation.
Gilda smirks, "I knew you'd appreciate this when I saw those teeth of yours. I made it a point to bring some meat here before coming to visit Dash. These wimpy herbivores don’t even have a butcher here. Stuff like this has to be ordered through the mail.”
The bacon! It Sings To Me! Let Me Has! LET ME HAS!!! You reach out for the glorious sandwich, but she pulls it back.
“Dude, not out in the open like this, the ponies will freak out. Let’s go somewhere more private and we can eat and talk, sound good?”
You nod enthusiastically and follow the griffon towards a secluded little alleyway, away from prying eyes.
“Okay, here you go, so let’s ta-“ Gilda is interrupted as you snatch the sandwich and take a glorious, heaven filled bite. Your taste buds sing as they taste bacon and turkey after who knows how long. Tears forms in your eyes at the glorious taste of MEAT.
Gilda chuckles as you scarf down the deliciousness.
“Oh Sweet Celestia, is that pig meat?” you hear Foxtrot gag from the other side of the alley.
“It’s not uncommon for Griffons to eat other animals Fox. And the Element of Kindness did call him a Omnivore,” O’Carroll points out.
“But still…that poor little piggy…”
Poor he may have been, but now he serves a higher purpose!!! Nyeh! You turn to them, interrupting their private conversation and punctuate with another large bite.
She frowns even harder at this, even her partner gives a glare and Gilda laughs a little harder.
Oh for heaven’s sake. I don’t need glares ruining this moment.
You then quickly sketch up a pony and a pig. You then put a check mark next to the pig and nod giving a thumbs up, then put an X through the pony and shake your head no.
“I guess he doesn’t eat ponies…” O’Carroll starts, and it’s good enough for you to continue eating.
After polishing off the sandwich, you pat your belly in satisfaction.
Gilda, you’ve already skyrocketed to my top favorite list. You’re only behind Pinkie, and Luna.
“Sooo, now that you’re full, can we talk about earlier?” she asks you.
Oh right…awkward stuff… you point to your lips and back and you swear you see her blush for a quick second,
"Honestly, I should pummel you for doing something like that. But seeing as it was an accident, I'll let it slide." She puffs up slightly, "Just don't be petting me like that again without telling me!" You blink, confused and she glares at you, "Look, it felt great okay? I'm not going to let that happen only once. This doesn't mean I like you or anything, but I might want the petting to happen again." The glare intensifies, "But not in public, or where anyone can see me!"
You nod, still a little confused,
Did I just make Gilda a tsundere? Nah, different species and all that. Plus I highly doubt the universe would be so evil as to put me into a cartoon world with both cartoon and anime clichés. My mind wouldn't be able to handle it. Probably just the cat part of her brain responding.
For some reason you feel like you just jinxed yourself, but you ignore it since you’ve now got an in for keeping Gilda stable.
Denneylaw's Comment
If she’s willing to give me a sandwich and not so subtly ask for ear scratches, then I can warn her. Maybe if I use my 'psychic' powers to show Gilda all the pranks heading her way? That way she could just avoid them all and we wouldn't have to worry about Gilda blowing up! It's the perfect plan! But... You stop pulling the notepad out as you think,
What if showing her the pranks just gets her even madder than she would have been with the pranks!? That'll cause a whole other incident, not to mention cause me a mega headache trying to do damage control. I can't risk it so long as this is possible. You sigh as you slide the notepad back into your pocket.
Come on, there has to be something I can do to avoid Gilda going all nuts at the party. Come on brain, think, think, thin-
You swear you hear a light bulb go off as you come up with another idea.
Shadow The Fire Spirit's Comment
Another wonderful idea. Another wonderfully terrible idea. You don't even realize that your Grinch smile has returned as you think,
Why not have Foxtrot set off some of the pranks instead of Gilda? This way, she will get her just desserts for laughing at me earlier, as no one laughs at Skeletor and gets away with it! Nyeh!
You look over to Foxtrot who, upon seeing you look, glares at you with suspicion. You don't care however, as you’re too busy mentally cackling over your soon to be prank spree over her.
"Uh dude? What's with the creepy smile?” You snap out of it at Gilda's question and you look back at her with a sheepish smile. You quickly draw a picture of Sugarcube Corner with a question mark next to it. Gilda looks at it in shock as she says,
"Dude, you must really be psychic! There's no way you would have known Rainbow invited me over to that place for some snacks. We should probably get over there now actually."
While on the outside you nod at this and begin to follow Gilda with your two escorts following, on the inside,
Let the downfall of Foxtrot begin! Neyhhehehehehe!
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
You, Gilda, and your escorts arrive at Sugarcube corner a few minutes later. And so far the show has played out like it should. In terms of the pranks at least.
When you showed up with Gilda, naturally Rainbow got up in your face about it. But Gilda managed to diffuse the situation by saying you were just helping her get there. Rainbow was suspicious of course, but she accepted the answer.
You were a little confused as to why she didn't question you about the whole 'kissing' thing, but you just assumed Gilda was too embarrassed to bring it up or she just never ran into Rainbow before finding you, or maybe she’s acting like a true tsundere and pretending it never happened.
Anyway, after that Pinkie put her pranks, which before used to be only Rainbow’s, into action. But so far you have managed to stop Gilda from being on the receiving end of them.
When it came to the joy buzzer, you 'accidently' bumped Foxtrot into Pinkie's hoof. The minute she hit her hoof she was in the air via electrocution. Thankfully the prank followed cartoon logic and she wasn't turned into liquid paste from all the bolts, instead she was stuck sporting the smoky smidge look, and her helmet hair was blackened.
Of course while you were busy laughing your butt off at how ridiculous she looked, you didn't notice her approaching. By the time you did she had already 'subtly' shoved you. Sadly for you it was into the table where the spiced laid sweets were. And by some form of bad karma the sweets ended up smearing on your cut lips.
AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
Needless to say, the Cakes need a new punch bowl.
This leads us to where you are now. You are by the punch bowl, with your mouth in it like a horse, trying to cool the flames consuming your lips. The ponies around you, including Gilda, are all having a nice laugh about it. You can't seem to find what's so funny about your current predicament.
I swear to god when I get my hands on some hair dye, Foxtrot is waking up a new shade of pink and neon green!
Eventually everyone calms down and goes to chatting with each other as you finally start to feel your lips cool. However before you can even bask in the feeling you find yourself dragged into a closet with Pinkie. You give the mare a confused look as she says,
"What the hay Skelly!? You totally messed up Rainbow and my’s hoof buzzer and spicy sweets pranks! Why'd you mess them up? I'm trying to get back at Gilda for hurting you remember?!"
To this you can only stare at her dumbly as you think,
Uh....I don't really know what to do here. I mean I'm just trying to save Rainbow and Gilda's friendship from crashing and burning, but since you think she's evil due to a misunderstanding that'll just make you think I'm crazy.
"Come on Skelly, don't tell me you’re just being a meanie mean pants,” she pouts at you. “Why are you messing up my pranks? And please tell me you have a reason, I don't want you to be a meanie mean pants."
You can feel your heart breaking at Pinkies look and words. To avoid ruin and from feeling a great amount of guilt for hurting the pink pony emotionally you calmly think of a way to turn Pinkie to your side when it comes to Gilda.
DON'T WORRY YOU ADORABLE PINK PONY! SKELLY HAS A PERFECTLY GOOD REASON, HE'S JUST TRYING TO STOP A EMOTIONAL BREAK DOWN OF A SENSITIVE GRIFFON WHO HIDES BEHIND A TOUGH AND RUDE PERSONA!!!
Did I say calmly? My bad, I meant irrational and thought up last minute plan to turn Pinkie to your side.
Drawing quicker then you've ever done before you show Pinkie...
MagicLover2128's Comment
Multiple pictures of the griffon trying to convey how she has a temper problem and cases of jealousy along with slight racial problems which she shows through her anger and hidden side of discomfort and awkwardness that she masks behind her stern and rude attitude.
At least that’s what you try to show with Gilda snarling, with chibi sad looking Gilda in a thought bubble.
By the time you’re finished Pinkie is almost in tears as she sniffles and says,
"Oh how could I have been so blind?! That poor griffon was just trying to express herself but couldn't find the right way to do it. That whole bleeding lip was just an accident of her self-conscious breaking through, and instead of her being the jerk I'm the jerk!"
The dam breaks and the pink pony starts bawling. You react quickly, scooping her into your arms and petting her mane as a few tears escape from your eyes as well.
You’re right Pinkie! God knows how you got that from my drawings, but you’re right. Gilda may act like a big tough and rude griffon, but on the inside she's just an emotionally confused cat-bird hybrid who just wants to be accepted! THE SIGNS WERE THERE ALL ALONG! After awhile the water works begin to slow down as you hear Pinkie sniffle and say,
"I guess me trying to butt in her time with Dashie didn't help. Her only friend that understands her deeply and I was trying to hog her to myself. Oh Skelly, I was just jealous of them wasn't I?" You pull back from the pony and shake your head 'no' as you try to convey to her.
Jealous people try to take what they can't have, you were just trying to spend some time with a buddy who was busy. Happens to us all.
“You…you don’t think I’m a jerk?” you shake your head no, and show a picture of her, Gilda and Dash all laughing together and hold your thumbs up.
"Thanks Skeletor you’re a great friend."
You smile at her and pull her back into the hug. Thus continuing the sweet, wonderful friendship building moment that is this whole situation. If you were in a Persona game, you feel this would have been a rank up with Pinkie's social link.
Nothing can ruin this moment. Nothing at all.
"Hey look Gilda! Presents!" You and Pinkie's eyes snap open at Rainbow's statement hits your ears.
God dang it! Spoke too soon!
You and Pinkie break off the hug and burst open the door to try and stop Gilda from opening her booty trapped present. You notice that she has food smeared on her face, and a black ring around her eye.
Crap! Rainbow Dash’s other pranks that the episode didn’t show must have gotten her.
You’re both too late as she opens the trapped gift. However unlike in the show, instead of a bunch of snakes popping out smoke does.
It takes awhile for the smoke to fade away, and when it does your in for quite the sight.
For there before you is Gilda, strung up in a pink dress wearing a princess hat and holding a magic wand. Needless to say, the guests of the party start laughing like crazy.
"Nice dress G! This reminds me of that prank those seniors in flight school played on us during that boring prom, you remember that?"
Seeing how her face is bright red and she has steam about to burst from her head, yes Rainbow I think she does.
Acting quickly you begin to rush towards Gilda, somehow managing to avoid the ponies laughing who pay no attention to you. They're all too caught up in their laughter to see the speeding human try and defuse the atomic Gilda bomb.
As you reach her, you can only think one phrase over and over again in your head,
Please work! Please work! Please work!
With that you…
At this point, anytime Gilda starts to be mean to ponies or get mad, Skeletor will forcibly calm her down via petting, redirecting her aggression towards him.
Begin to pet the angry griffon, and as if by magic she calms down. Luckily no one’s looking at you two, so you’re fairly certain she won't try and kill you for doing it in public.
Besides, too many witnesses.
Eventually the crowd begins to calm down, and Gilda snaps back to her senses. How do you know this, well you just so happen to be nursing a sore arm courteously of Gilda's fist.
"I told you not to do that in public!"
You’re welcome for saving you from yourself and saving your friendship with Rainbow, you give an eye roll and pat her head like a dog, causing her to ruffle her feathers and frown.
Before you can move away from the griffon and stop the last prank you remember from the show, suddenly Gilda tugs on your poncho. You look at Gilda in confusion, to which she just looks away while huffing.
"Thanks...almost blew my top there, which would have totally been uncool. I’m not the only one that got pranked.” You look around and see other ponies who have clear signs of prankage.
I did it! I actually did it!
“Consider this thanks, and its not cause I like you or anything! I'm just paying you back is all…"
With that said Gilda puts something in your hand and walks back over to Rainbow, who in turn gives you a suspicious look. You just raise your eyebrow at as you look at what Gilda gave you.
What is this anyway? It feels like...plastic... Your eyes widen and your heart stops when you see what it is. It is...
Derrick-Skalula's Comment
A perfectly good roast beef looking sandwich inside a plastic baggy. You don't even question where she got it, you already have the bag open and are scuffing down the meaty goodness.
Twice in one day! That's it, I'm in heaven! This is the grea-wait a minute.
It's not till you finish eating that you realize how...quiet everyone has gotten. With the last piece of the sandwich still in your mouth you look up to see what's up.
I wonder why everyone is so quiet? Did something....hap....pen...Oh no. You see all the ponies looking at you in horror, while Gilda is just face...clawing(?) at your stupidity. You swallow the last bit of sandwich.
It’s just meat! I’m not scary!
However before half the ponies run out the door and the other half charge at you, your savor comes in the form of an unlikely pony.
"Alright everypony, settle done. No need to get so freaked out."
Everybody's attention goes to Foxtrot, who is still covered in smoke but has an 'I don't need this right now' look on her face. You can only look at her in confusion, and it seems the others as well as one of the flower trio shouts out,
"How can we not freak out?! It is eating meat! It could be pony meat or something!"
Don't you three usually faint by now? You wonder raising an eyebrow in their direction.
"It's looking at us!"
*Bump Bump Bump*
Nevermind, I stand corrected, just a late response, you facepalm.
The Flower Trio's reaction seems to spark something in the crowd as they all start to mumble out their worries of you eating them. You even hear a stallion say,
What the hell!?! Who quotes Troll 2 unironically?! I know the show has a lot of pop culture references, but really?!
Foxtrot suddenly whistles very loudly drawing all attention to her. When all eyes are on her she clears her throat and says,
"Listen, the creature is an omnivore. There is nothing to worry about. The animal caretaker Fluttershy also confirmed this." You hear a familiar voice ask,
"What's an o-mi-vore?"
Sweetie Belle!? Where are you you adorable dictionary?
"Look, it eats meat and greens,” Foxtrot answers. “And before you ask, no it does not eat ponies. In fact according to the creature the thought of that disgusts him, so I’m sure others of its kind don’t either.”
You nod your head rapidly at this, but you can't help but think,
Well as long as you’re not from Europe where that's sorta kinda a thing.* The crowd still looks unsure, but Pinkie pops out of nowhere as always and adds,
"Yeah, Skelly would never eat a pony! He is one of my bestest friends after all. Gilda’s also an Om nom nomivore, and she’s great right?"
Ha! Best friend status in only two weeks! Suck it OC's and Self-Insert characters! You think, forcing yourself from hugging her right then and there for the save.
As if Pinkie's words are magic (which they probably are) the crowd goes back to normal, as if nothing happened. Even Gilda gives Pinkie an appraising look for her little shout out. You give Pinkie a nod in thanks, but you look at Foxtrot in inquiry.
"Don't get the wrong idea, I was just stopping you from hurting the civilians if a riot broke out due to your little (gag) snack. Be careful next time, because I won't do this again."
Oh you are so Lassiter! Right down to using your job as an excuse for doing something nice for me, you smirk smugly. Foxtrot rolls her eyes at your look and walks off.
With her gone you go back to the task at hand.
Now where is that cake?
Veo Skride's Comment
BrownDog's Comment
"Cake time everypony!" Your eyes widen as you see Mr. and Mrs. Cake rolling out the cake with the fake candles. Now you wouldn't be so worried...if the candles didn't look like poorly made TNT! You look at Pinkie wide eyed, to which she chuckles nervously.
"I may or may not have ran out of trick candles, and I may or may not have decided to use the fancy red sticks that some construction ponies left here during their break. I mean they make such a loud sound when they go off and make the ground lo-oh."
God dang it Pinkie! If those go off you'll be arrested for murder! You facepalm, I doubt cartoon logic is goanna work here!
Thinking quickly you pick up a nearby fork and throw it at a balloon on the other side of the room. The fork hits its target and the pop draws everybody's attention.
With that down you rush towards the cake, and before you even know what you’re doing you cannon ball into it. Cake goes flying everywhere, and the TNT is thrown out the window. You slowly get up from the ruined cake and see all eyes on you, though half those eyes are covered in cake and frosting.
You just chuckle airily, and quickly throw a piece of cake at Pinkie. Pinkie takes the hit, and soon smiles wildly as she shouts out,
"FOOD FIGHT!"
Soon the room is full of laughter, shouts, and flying cake. Amidst all the chaos, you see Gilda and Rainbow Dash laughing and getting into it as well. Smiling, you rush up the stairs, to save your poncho from being more stained than it already is.
That's the last prank, my job here is done. Time to shower...then pass out for the day. Let the fuzzy tiny horses have their fun.
SOMETIME LATER: IN THE SHOWER
What the hell was in that cake!?
You've been scrubbing your hair for the past ten minutes and there is still pieces of cake and frosting stuck in it. You’re pretty sure Pinkie might have made the stuff outta glue, cause its sticky as heck too.
I swear Pinkie if I have to go bald...
You hear a knock coming from the door to the bathroom, but you ignore it since you can't really say anything.
Probably just Pinkie checking up on me or something.
"Uh dude...are you in there? I wanna talk to you."
The hell!? Why is Rainbow outside the bathroom door!? You panic as your eyes widen in shock.
You stand awkwardly in the shower, trying to contemplate why Rainbow of all ponies would want to talk with you. After thinking for a good couple of minutes on whether or not you should actually get out, open the door and talk to Rainbow, you decide.
Ah what the hell? Knowing her, she'd just bust open the door if I didn't.
So with that in mind you...
MagicLover2128's Comment
Look around for your towel as you quickly switch off the shower.
You grab one, but it's a much smaller than the one you usually use.
Dang it! Is today laundry day?
It barely wraps around your waist as you quickly attempt to cover yourself and give your body some decency. You have to use a hand to keep it closed and together.
I really hope I can keep myself decent and not end up like some comedy where the main guy ends up flashing a bunch of girls...or I guess in this case mares.
With that thought you make your way over to the door. You place your other hand onto the knob and take a deep breath.
Now let’s see what Rainbow wants to speak to me about, I hope it's not gonna end up with me in pain.
With that you open the door to a sheepish looking Rainbow Dash. It looks like she was about to knock on the door again.
The two of you stare awkwardly at each other...
and stare...
and stare...
and stare...
That’s it. First chance I get I’m getting a skull mask so I don’t have to make eye contact anymore. Deciding that you've had enough of this awkward staring you cough into your hand. Rainbow seems to get the message as she snaps out of it and puts her hoof down.
"So...uh...okay this was easier in my head," she chuckles awkwardly.
Easier to do what? You raise an eyebrow. Is this some sort of weird pony thing or...?
Greatness942's Comment
"Listen, that food fight was...actually pretty fun. Like, super fun," Rainbow Dash hesitantly admits, which makes you raise your eyebrow in confusion even more.
Wow, she's admitting I did a good thing...wasn't expecting that this early, but I already have three quests. Maybe it's just a-
"But, well, after it ended, me and Gilda got talking. She lost her temper, and started-" Rainbow Dash hesitates, before she continues, looking melancholy, "She started badmouthing my friends. It was pretty...scathing. Yeah, that's the word."
WHAT?! Oh, no! It didn't change! How?! It’s only been like 5 minutes!
"I know it's not your fault...but me and Gilda aren't friends anymore." she says, before passing you a note.
Shit! You start wigging out. Maybe I really can't change fate! Maybe I'm doomed to keep canon forever. Stable time loops, paradoxes. I'll never get my Stand, or conquer Castle Gre- Then, you look at the note, and your thoughts change to bafflement.
It's your old note, showing Gilda losing her temper, except, there is a new drawing attached to it, showing a chibi RD laughing. You look up to see Rainbow Dash trying to stifle her laughter. She fails, laughing as you just stare and stare.
"Gotcha!" she says, "Pinkie showed me that note after the food fight, and I thought it would be funny to mess with you. Me and G are fine. We talked it out over cake and cider!"
...This is simultaneously not enough to be put you on my He-Man list, and yet it's still enough of a transgression that you're in the running to be put in the top three.
“You should see your face!” At your glare Rainbow seems to laugh only harder, which only causes your eye to twitch in annoyance.
Yeah yeah laugh it up. You may not be on the He-Man list (yet), but you will be getting pranked later. Mark my words you'll be covered in glue and looking like a chicken before you can even blink.
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
After Rainbow has her laugh, she looks back up at you.
"Hey," she says, "I know I've been kinda of a jerk to you, but in my defense, you did help try to take over the world and you've been a bit of a jerk yourself,"
Get to the point Rainbow, you give her a stare conveying your message.
"But Gilda, Pinkie, and that guard told me how you helped out earlier, and I just wanna say thanks." She gives you a half hearted glare, "this doesn't means we're best buddies or anything, but I'd be okay trying to be…friendly with you," with that, she turn to leaves.
You stealthily fist pump, Yes, progress has been made today! With your confidence boosted, you proceed to make plans to head to bed.
Before you can even do anything however, Rainbow is suddenly right back in your face. You jump back at her sudden reappearance, and you barely manage to keep your towel secure.
What the heck Rainbow!? What's with the last minute jump scare?! Rainbow, oblivious to your thoughts, simply stares you down as she asks,
BrownDog's Comment
"So listen, since we’re all being friendly and stuff, what is up with that cupcake Pinkie said you made for me?" You smirk at that trollishly.
"I'm serious! What's in it?! Is it worms? Hot Sauce? Some weird voodoo? WHAT?!"
You flip your notebook to one of the pages dedicated to the few response words you learned, and tap "Maybe"
"Ugh! I'll throw it away then...unless that's what you WANT me to do?" she accuses.
"GYAGH!" Rainbow huffs, tearing at her mane as you shut the door in her face.
Good, let the paranoia flow through you...
Cackling silently you grab your Poncho, but before you can put it on you hear Rainbow shout from outside,
"Hey, open up! I’m not done talking yet!"
God dang it Rainbow, Quit ruining my rude manners. You open the door to see Rainbow floating outside the nearby window with a smug smirk on her face.
I don't like that smile, you think wearily. That smile is giving me the bad vibes. Rainbow just keeps her smile though as she says,
Denneylaw's Comment
"So, G says you are quite good at kissing, even though you accidentally cut your lip there. I can give you a few pointers if you want?" You get all wide eyed at this as you think,
What?!! No! That’s gross! And wait, how would you know? Are they actually a couple!!??? I mean-I ah--wha...
Before your brain can completely shut down, you hear Rainbow laugh along with what sounds like Gilda and Pinkie laughing coming from outside.
“He actually bought that! He’s totally thinking perverted things, you guys owe me five bits!” You glare at Rainbow and shake your fist at her as you think angrily,
Oh, ha ha, real mature guys!! Nyeh!!! Soon, Skeletor will prank you back so hard! You guys are THIS close to making the list!!
As soon as you think this, you realize something. Something very important. Something that will cause mass embarrassment. What did you realize?
You used the wrong hand to shake your fist with.
Time seems to slow down as your towel begins to fall in slow motion. You and Rainbow’s eyes widen, and there is only one thing you can do to save yourself. You...
Jaro45's Comment
Give out an airy scream, that is somehow more high pitched and girlish than usual. This manages to startle Rainbow, and you take this chance to quickly dive back into the bathroom and shut the door behind you.
You breath deeply and try to clam down at your almost flashing of the rainbow maned pony.
Dear lord that was way too close! I'm in enough trouble with people thinking me petting Gilda is intimate, I do not need them thinking I purposely flashed Rainbow. And right after she said that stuff to Pinkie and Gilda downstairs. Damn you sitcom clichés, damn you all to hell for making this happen!
However before you can curse out every know sitcom ever, you hear Rainbow mumble,
"Huh...wonder what that was about. Probably just some weird ape thing." And with that you hear her flap away from the window, followed by another pair of wings and some hoof steps.
You sit there, wide eyed as you try to process what happened. When you do, you can't stop yourself from face-palming as you think,
Oh yeah, I forgot. In ponyland, nudity is far more common than clothing. The fact that she didn't see it probably means that she just thought...I don't know, that I was decent or something. God I hate pony logic.
With that thought you dry yourself as best as you can, put on the tattered poncho, and head to bed.
Greatness942's Comment
After all that excitement, you lie in bed, and fall asleep, checking over your notes one more time.
Easiest quest to do is to figure out Lyra's story. If an episode isn't happening then, I can do some errands with Pinkie, then do that on the way back. Sounds right to me. Before you nod off, though, you have one last thought.
...Hold on. Hamon is connected to the sun. So, what if Celestia knows it? If she's anything like a Zeppeli, maybe canon will change into a funeral, you muse, before closing your eyes and nodding off.
Sunbro4life's Comment
LATER THAT NIGHT
As you sleep you start to have a...well let's just say weird dream.
It starts out nicely with you, Pinkie, Spike and Gilda doing JoJo poses in front of a crying He-Man on a techno dance floor while a bunch of video game characters cheer you on.
“Come on He-Man! Step it up! Nyeh!”
But it soon turns into a nightmare. He-Man stops crying and gives you the most evilest smile you’ve ever seen.
“Nyeh?”
He soon rushes forth and picks you up by your throat, and the music cuts out. Your dance partners and the audience disappear, and He-man begins to beat you. The worst part is, he never says a word, all he does is smile at you as his fists strike.
“What the hell dude? We were just dancing?!” You’re on your final straw and He-Man is about to strike you down with his sword. But before he can a new challenger approaches!
A bright blue light flashes and he freezes mid swing, before he suddenly dematerializes in front of you. After he does, you see that your environment has changed. You are in a grassy field under a clear night sky. You look around in wonder, at both the environment and the night sky.
Okaaayyy, did I eat too much chocolate before bed? Or have I been drugged?
You then hear a tapping, as if someone is tapping on a window pane from very far away.
You look up at the moon, and you see a faded out shadow illusion with glowing white eyes.
It looks like a slightly bigger version of Woona! She still looks like her post-harmonization form, but she is a bit taller. She gives you a reassuring smile and waves her hoof.
You slowly raise your hand and wave it back at her. But all good things must come to an end as the world around you begins to fade. The last thing you hear before going to the waking world a whisper of a breeze.
"Soon." And then, you return to the waking world.
THE WAKING WORLD (AKA YOU WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY)
After you wake up you think for a moment about what just happened before shaking it off.
No way that was real. Luna is still too weak to do any dream walking yet. Still...that felt pretty weird.
Shaking your head yet again you get up and begin to do some morning stretches. As you do you can't help but reflect on the events that transpired the day before, and you cringe.
Ugh...I have to do something for Foxtrot for defusing what could have been a huge problem. The only question is...what the hell do I get her, and get O'Carroll too...or was it Oak? Eh I'll think of something today.
With your stretches out of the way you decide to see if Pinkie is up yet. Looking over to her you can't help but chuckle slightly.
Yep still asleep, still surprising she doesn't move around considering how much energy she usually has. You decide to wake her up, if only so you can get started on your side quest of figuring out Lyra's human connection.
You lean in to shake Pinkie awake when you notice that it's not Pinkie but a Piñata made to look like Pinkie You only have a moment of shock before it explodes giving you a coating of ketchup.
Wha....what just happened!? You blink cartoonishly just as Pinkie opens the closet, revealing her and Rainbow laughing their butts off. You glare at the two ponies as Pinkie says,
"Sorry Skelly, had to get you back and Dashie was nearby so she decided to help!" You just roll your eyes and sigh.
It’s gonna be another long day, isn't it?
LATER THAT DAY
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
BrownDog's Comment
During the next couple of hours (after a quick shower), your attempts to find Lyra have been unsuccessful, and your frustration is steadily growing.
How hard is it to find one pony?! You think. You decide to take a break in your quest and sit down on a bench. Fluttershy, your escort for the day, sits down next to you.
You two proceed to sit in silence for some time. Really in fact, she hasn’t said all that much, just followed you, asking about your lips every now and again. Still, it’s been kind of nice. As the two of you sit in silence you notice a certain griffon fly over head with Rainbow in tow. You stare at them as they fly off.
At least that proves my theory. Looks like my intervention has actually managed to change some things. Gilda sticking around longer than before is proof. Her visit wasn’t cut off after one day! Nyeh! You celebrate, pumping your fist. Now what episode came next?
Before you can think too much on it, you see everybody's favorite baby dragon and his purple unicorn sister/mother figure. The two of them seem to be conversing about something, but it’s kinda hard to tell since the poor drake is holding onto a stack of quill boxes.
Poor guy, must have had to buy more after Rainbow and Pinkie’s prank yesterday.
Seeing the two of them, you get an idea. You decide that since looking for Lyra is a bust, maybe it would be a good idea to get those clothes you need. So you should enlist the little drake to help you.
I've got bits, I'll get her hopeless suitor, and perhaps an owed favor since she didn't heed my "psychic" warning. I'm getting some new duds so help me God! Or at least some new underwear!
You look down your poncho at your hole filled and torn white briefs. Weeks of constant wear, not to mention countless pratfalls and broken chairs have not been kind to the tighty whities.
And Tennis Shoes may be out of the question, but some socks or even just sandals couldn't hurt either.
With that thought you get up and start to head over to them, but your sudden movement causes Fluttershy to squeak in surprise. But she quickly catches up along with your two escorts.
Sunbro4life's Comment
Yes and by the power of cartoon logic this has to work out for me somehow . Or it could go the same old route where the universe picks on Skeletor. Pondering for a moment you recall you had a different name at some point before you came here.
I wasn't always called Skeletor right? No that's impossible my name’s always been Skeletor. You gain a worried look as your thoughts start to go deeper and deeper,
I..I can't remember what I was doing before I got here! Wait no I was...I was playing video games! Yeah and my name was...it is...Then as soon as the strange feeling had come it was gone.
What was I thinking about again?...Eh probably nothing.
With that thought you continue to walk towards the drake and pony, oblivious to the fact that they are farther than before and Fluttershy has a worried look.
However just as your about to reach them, Spike gets dragged off by Hasbro's first poor representation of male kids, Snips and Snails. Your eyes widen at this as you begin to remember what episode is next, or rather what one you’re in.
Crap, it's Boast Busters! Why is this one happening so soon? Griffon the Brush Off was just yesterday! Gah, think about timeline later, what happens in this episode agai-OH HELL!
Your eyes widen in panic and fear, to which Fluttershy notices. But you don't care as only one thought is on your mind,
You’re pretty sure that you stopped breathing for a good couple of minutes, because your chest feels heavy. Of course this could also be due to the fact that an Ursa Minor is gonna come to town and most likely kill you in some way or another.
"Um...Mister Skeletor sir, are you alright?"
Suddenly remembering who you’re with you look over to Fluttershy in shock. She has a genuine worried look on her face, and before you can do anything you hear Foxtrot scoff as she says,
"I'm sure the creature is just fine Ms. Shy, it's probably just doing some weird ape thing again."
"I don't know Fox, he looks kinda freaked out," O’Carrol counters.
Kinda?! KINDA?! I wish I was just kinda freaked out! I gotta tell Twilight before it’s too late! With me here the timeline might change and we’ll get a Ursa Major coming to town! A FREAKING GODZILLA BEAR!!!
With that thought you...
AchaiusSade
Start to convulse, this time in a completely random and crazed way to convey just how bad the situation will be.
"Oh my, is he having another vision!?" Fluttershy gasps. Foxtrot merely rolls her eyes at this.
"Oh not this again." Her partner is the exact opposite, as he and Fluttershy stare at you in wonder and...fear?
Okay I know why I'm freaked out, but why are you? I haven't even given the vision yet! Speaking of which...
Before your escorts or Fluttershy can blink you rush off to Twilight, who had stopped to stare at where Snips and Snails dragged Spike off. You make sure to make it look like your legs are being forced to move by some external force, hamming it up the Jim Carey way.
Foxtrot's eyes widen at your fleeing figure as she calls out,
"Wha-!? Get back here!"
"Oh dear, please wait up Mister Skeletor! I mean if you can please..." You ignore Foxtrot and Fluttershy's calls as you reach Twilight. Your presence manages to snap her out of her shocked state as she looks at you in surprise.
"Skeletor!? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be with Flu-"
You don't let her finish as you quickly begin to convulse your arms and throw yourself to the ground. Twilight lets out a gasp in shock, but you ignore it as you begin to draw in the dirt with your hands.
Best way to convey a urgent message is to do so in a drastic measure after all, and what is more drastic then writing in the dirt with my bare hands and not using my notepad? Gah!, you wince as your knuckle scrapes a rock. Vision now, patting back on well thought out plan later!
Your escorts and Fluttershy catch up to you as you are almost finished with your drawing. Twilight directs her attention towards Fluttershy.
"Fluttershy! Just what the heck has gotten into Skeletor!?" she asks. Fluttershy shrinks back slightly at Twilight’s tone before saying,
"Um...well he started convulsing like when he has a vision, and then he took off towards you. It kinda looked like he was being forced to..."
Twilight gains a confused look at that and opens her mouth to say something, but before she can you jump up and away from your drawing. You’re breathing a little heavily from the sudden rushing you did, but despite that you think you did a good enough job with your drawing.
The four ponies gather around the drawing to get a good look at it. What you drew was a rough shape of a bear with a constellation right in its center. You also drew a tiny house next to it to show just how big the Ursa can be.
Not so bad for a quickly thought up plan with a panic induced mind. At least Twilight should get the message an-
Before you can finish your thought you see Twilight erase some of the constellation before redrawing it. She then looks up at you with the look you’ve dubbed 'Lecture Time.'
"Seriously Skeletor, if you wanted me to tell you what constellation this was you should have at least drawn it the right way. Now if you excuse me I need to find out where those two colts dragged off Spike. Oh, and the name of the constellation is Ursa Minor."
And with that the sole savior of the town in the next twenty-four hours walks away, leaving your dumbfounded self behind.
Wha-Did she just-the constellation-Ursa-WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!?
You grab your head in panic as the full realization of Twilight brushing your warning off sets in. You would have spiraled down into madness induced thoughts if it weren’t for hearing Foxtrot laughing her flank off.
Your eye twitches in annoyance as you glare at the laughing guard. Said guard just ignores you in favor of laughing at your misery...again.
That's it! You’re back on the list! I'll show you what happens when you laugh at Skeletor's misery!
Before thoughts of vengeance can cloud your mind though, O’Carrol speaks up.
"Uh Fo-Ma’am? Shouldn't we be a little worried about this? I mean his convulsing was pretty serious, maybe Ms. Sparkle jumped the bow?" Foxtrot wipes a tear away from her eye and answers,
"Are you kidding? You heard her. This was just the ape trying to ask a question. That whole twitching and writhing thing was just an excuse for it to run over here."
Laugh it up Fox! You grumble, your eye twitching even more. When the giant baby bear comes to wreck the town, then we'll see who's laughing! It will be I! Skeletor! Nyeh!
You sigh and try to calm down, but to your displeasure you can feel your panic only increase. You’ve changed two episodes already, so who knows what will really happen? You start to think of any possible way to warn the ponies of the incoming threat, and after not thinking of anything clever, you decide to just cut your losses as you take out your notepad and draw...
MagicLover2128's Comment
A make up timeline of events for this episode, leaving out any details that don't involve the deadly baby bear coming to town.
Trixie may be a bragger, but she isn't the one who brought the bear to town. No reason to put all the blame on her.
After you finish drawing the rushed timeline you proceed to get the three ponies’ attention and show it to them. Basically it shows the foals heading into the Everfree, and then being chased out with the big bear. Then you show a picture of Ponyville with sunshine and rainbows next to a Ponyville that's flattened into the ground and on fire. With Pinkie’s colored pencils, your drawings really stand out.
Their reaction is of confusion and then shock and finally horror at what may happen.
"Oh my..." You nod grimly at Fluttershy's comment.
‘Oh my’ indeed you adorable mare you. Foxtrot manages to snap out of it first, but instead of the look of realization you expected you only see anger.
What's with the look? You wonder in confusion. The bear’s the one who does all this not me! Your question is answered when Foxtrot says,
"Okay that's enough! I can let your fake psychic idiocy slide when it’s just some random prank, but I will not let you go spreading around panic with no proof!" she declares with a frown.
What!? I'm not trying to- Before you even finish that thought, your pictures are torn out of the notepad and are suddenly inflamed, and just as that happens, the dirt Ursa Minor is swiped away via Foxtrot's magic. You can only stare at her in shock at this turn of events
"You’re on a tight leash now, I don't want to see or hear anything about a giant bear attack for the rest of the day! If I so much as think you are thinking about it I will personally send you to the hospital with the worse migraine you can ever imagine! Am. I. Clear?!"
You gulp fearfully at her glaring face as you make a weak gesture that basically means 'But I' but her glare only sharpens. You simply whimper and nod your head weakly, too which Foxtrot seems satisfied with and begins to walk towards where Twilight went.
Now what in the seven layered shit sandwich was that all about? You sputter. I know she doesn’t believe me, but that seemed too direct and hostile. Am I missing something here?
You look over to her partner with your confused look and gesture to the trotting mare. He seems a bit uncomfortable.
“Look…don’t take it personally or anything. Fox she…well…She has this thing about giant monsters and-“
"O’Carrol! Creature! Hurry up!" You, Fluttershy and Foxtrot’s partner all jump at her tone and quickly get after her. You can hear some hushed talking between the two guards, but you don't bother to listen as a feeling of dejection comes over you.
BrownDog's Comment
Jaro45's Comment
You know what, this is fine. I mean it sucks that Twilight and Foxtrot dismissed my warnings, but that's okay. That is just perfectly fine, nothing wrong about it at all. Nope, not at all. This was all thought while your eye was twitching, so clearly it was not fine at all.
This was probably for the best anyway, I mean if I stopped the Ursa Minor from coming Twilight would never have learned the moral of the week, which would probably end up causing problems down the road anyway. The best thing I can do is kidna-I mean invite Pinkie, Spike and Fluttershy to stay in Pinkie’s party basement for the night. That or keep Fluttershy by my side at all times since baby animals love her so much and it will lessen the chances of death. Yeah...that'll work.
Taking a deep breath and finally calming down from your panicked state, you start to think on more important matters and try to avoid any thoughts involving Kaiju.
If anything, the best thing to do is to keep Trixie here after everything goes down. But how exactly would I do that?
You hold your chin in thought as you try and figure out some way to keep Trixie in town, or at the very least keep the non-Ursa Minor damages to a minimum.
denneylaw's Comment
Okay, I reformed Gilda so now I need to think of how to do the same for Trixie. Those two little idiots are gonna hear Trixie's story and have her face off against Big Blue, and then we’re all up the creek.
As you think that, you notice Trixie's stage coming up from the distance. Realizing that you don't have that much time left to think up a plan you save time and go for the cliff notes.
All right, I have 2 options here. Both involve trying to distract the pony versions of Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum. I could try to keep them from hearing Trixie's story, but considering the timeline wants the Ursa to come to town, that's out of the question. Maybe I could just interrupt her speech halfway through so they don't know what monster it is, and with any luck they'll just be creepy stalkers of hers. If that fails I'll just try and use my 'psychic' powers to warn Spike what they are about to do, and hopefully, he will have enough sense to warn Twilight. She'll listen to him more then she'll listen to me after all. Yep, that's what I'll do!
With that plan in mind you smile as you no longer have to worry about any major non-canon problems. But you can't help but feel like you’re forgetting something. Something important about this episode...
Eh, I'll worry about it later.
With that thought you, your escorts and Fluttershy finally reach the stage. As you do...
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
You hear the last bits of Trixie challenging the residents to see if they can outperform her.
Craaaaap, you moan, I'm too late to interrupt the Ursa Major fib. I need to try to stop this before it gets too far.
"What in Celestia is that?!" You hear Trixie call out in fright.
SHIT! The bear’s early! We’re all screwed! You panic and whip your head around in fear. Thankfully all you see is the crowd of ponies looking directly at you. Unfortunately the entire crowd of ponies is looking directly at you.
Something clicks in your panicked mind and you look back up to the stage at Trixie who is pointing directly at you. Just to be sure, you point your finger at your chest with a questioning look on your face.
“Yes Creature, you! What are you?”
Since you can’t really answer that, you look around at the crowd at the Mane 6 and Spike and gesture for them to answer. Before they can though,
"This is Skeletor,” Gilda’s tough voice rings out as she walks up next to you. “We don’t know what the heck he is since he can’t talk, but he’s cool.”
Thanks for the save Cat Bird, you think in glee as you instinctively start to reach out to scratch the top of her head, but she immediately slaps your hand away.
"I see…" Trixie gives you a quick once over, "Well then, Skeletor, if you are as cool as the griffon claims then The Great and Powerful Trixie will choose you to be her first challenger."
This declaration is accompanied by fireworks.
Ah. Now I remember why I don't like Trixie now, you roll your eyes. Her opening ego is way to annoyingly big. Still, I have to believe that I can fix her character early.
Seeing as you have no choice, you make your way up to the stage. Facing the crowd, you do the first thing that comes to mind.
Making some mysterious movements and gestures, you proceed to do the old detaching thumb trick.
Behold my magical pow-
"It can detach parts of its body?!" You hear one of the ponies scream. This causes the rest of the crowd to either faint, scream or look at you in awe.
Oh, I forgot that ponies can be really gullible.
But while the ponies are impressed, they aren't completely awe-struck. So deciding to rectify this you decide to do the most logical thing...
The most obvious solution is to have a beat boxing contest with Trixie to show off your skills and take her down a peg. Maybe, if you get lucky(Or unlucky) , Snips and Snails will follow you around instead of her.
“Oh you want to dance? The Great and Powerful Trixie knows how to throw down a beat!” She then proceeds to do her own beat boxing in retaliation. Your eyes widen slightly at this.
So our little boaster knows the art of the beat box huh? Things just got interesting!
The two of you continue to go back and forth, each one trying to out-beat box the other. Eventually you both feel the climax coming as you both get into each other’s faces and do rapid fire beats. You start to pull forward by performing some sick dance moves that Trixie just can't compete with. Having hands is an advantage
The crowd goes wild, and as you finish you give Trixie a smug look as she seems completely baffled at what just happened. Try to top that you little show off. You lost, accept your beat boxing defeat with grace!
And yet to your supreme shock, her face fills with determination and smugness, as she spins around, throws down a smoke pellet and rushes toward you with her horn glowing.
Greatness942's Comment
In a fanatical display of stage magic, she simultaneously does the Quintessential Card Trick (is this your card?), juggles three magi-tech Chainsaws, and completes a crossword puzzle where she only needs help with one question.
And for some reason, you muse, it was 5-Across. "A crystal that can take the form of quite a few colors, but usually appears blue." Stupid sapphires...
The main thing that really got to you though, was the fact that she was beat boxing and dancing...the entire time.
As a finale, she threw the crossword into air with your card, as the chainsaw’s cut them, and after a small smoke explosion, they all disappeared into a storm of confetti that showered her as she hit her final beats.
Dang that mare has a set of lungs on her. Still, I guess she did beat me in performance, but next time it will be I, Skeletor, that wins! You cross your arms at that thought and resist the urge to comically sneer as you watch Trixie bow to the audience.
"Voila!" Trixie yells, "Mere child's play. Not even this hairless ape thing can top my awesome power!"
However, unlike the applause or cheering you usually get after beat boxing, Trixie's performance is met with silence. You look over at the crowd in confusion and see that most of them are either annoyed or even angered at Trixie. You can't help but raise a brow at that as you think,
The heck’s up with them? She may be a loud mouthed braggart but she out-performed me fair and square, no need to be all annoyed. Besides it’s common courtesy to at least have one person clap even for a bad performance.
Realizing that no one is going to clap or cheer anytime soon, and also noticing Trixie's stance falter slightly for a second, you decide to do something about the situation. You...
KingDouchePrick's Comment
Start to clap on your own for Trixie's rightful win.
Suddenly all eyes are on you as half the crowd is looking at you in confusion and shock. Trixie herself is just as, if not more, confused at your applause.
To their questioning stares you simply shrug your shoulders and bow your head in defeat.
She kicked my ass fair and square. A true follower of the beat boxing art knows when to accept defeat and give credit where it’s due.
Eventually you stop clapping and walk off the stage with your head held high and stand next to the Elements, Gilda, and your escorts. This manages to snap Trixie out of it as she smiles and says,
"Aha! See? Even the ape acknowledges his superiors, for there was never any doubt!”
Okay, stop being an insufferable bitch, I complimented you. Don’t make me slap you into reformation, you grimace and cross your arms.
“Now lookee here missy!” Applejack objects and steps up to the stage. “It ain’t right to go belittling someone who graciously lost."
“Oh please. Your Skeletor creature was just honored to be defeated by The Great and Powerful Trixie, as anypony should be.”
Whelp, let the humiliation show begin, you roll your eyes as you see Applejack scowl at that.
Just like in the show, Trixie manages to out play Applejack. As soon as she is tied up Rainbow rushes to the stage and is ultimately beaten as well. You would have chuckled at it if it weren't for the fact that you just remembered a very important thing...
BrownDog's Comment
Gilda is still in town, and she is right next to you about to blow her top at Rainbow's humiliation.
Not good! I already have to hide from an Ursa Minor, I do not need an angry griffon causing even more damage! Thinking quickly you give her a quick ear scratch which makes her stiffen up, before slapping your hand away and eyeing you with a frown.
“Stop that!” she whispers with clenched teeth.
You point at Trixie then back at Gilda and shake your finger and head no.
“Oh come on! She’s annoying and a jerk. Look what she did to you and Dash. She’s taking pleasure in humiliating everypony and…Oh…” a sudden look of realization comes across Gilda’s face.
Ya, sound familiar G? you smirk. She shakes her head at this.
“Well she’s still a jerk,” she huffs and crosses her forearms.
Aw, who’s a pouting kitty, you chuckle, before sobering up. Okay, so obviously Trixie is still going to be hated when all this happens. But maybe if I can just get her and Gilda to meet and become friends, maybe things will turn out differently. But that all won’t matter if that damned bear still shows up. And the hell if I know how to stop one without magic…wait a second...
You look all around you and see that the Elements, Spike, your escorts and Gilda are all focused intently on Trixie.
The Library is completely unguarded right now…And this IS a matter of life and death so…
You then stealthily tip toe backwards out of the crowd as they all boo and belittle Trixie. When you feel you are a safe distance, you sprint all out towards Golden Oaks.
Some Time Later
NNNYYYYEEEHHH!!!! You hold aloft your mighty Havoc Staff at the edge of the Everfree forest after having unhooked it from Twilight’s science equipment.
Don't worry you Technicolor horsy fools, your lord and master Skeletor will stop the Giant He-Man from arriving!
Truth be told, you really need to monologue to keep the nervousness at bay. You’ve just stolen back your staff, are without any escorts, and you are at the edge of a forest filled with all kinds of monsters. In fact, this is the closest you’ve been to the Everfree since the night you woke up in Equestria, but even then you had a whole castle separating you from it’s spookiness.
Seriously, I can smell the evil from here. How does Zecora live in there?
In the distance, you can hear Twilight and the others calling your name as they search for you in the town.
Well, chances are I’m going to be in big trouble after this…that is if the bear doesn’t eat me first. But they’ll thank me later. When the minor shows up I’ll scare it off with my magic…which I hardly know how to use…
…
…
…
WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING OUT HERE AGAIN?!
As you panic on your idiotic decision making, you notice…
Greatness942's Comment
Snips and Snails sneaking into the forest a little ways away from you.
Well there they go to bring about death and destruction. That means I still have time to make it to the Party Cave!
As you start to take steps back towards town, and no doubt a stern lecture you pause in your tracks as you think about the two colts.
Nope, not my problem, you shake your head and start walking again. Go get the Ursa and potentially die due to some monster in the forest, see if I care! Canon will keep you two safe anyway! Your footsteps abruptly stop once again as you bite your lip. You’ve already changed canon in so many ways by just being here. What if?...
...
...
...
God Damn It!!! You mentally shout, gritting your teeth as you turn around and rush into the spooky forest after the colts.
Stupid urges to stop anyone from getting hurt! You’ll be the death of me! Nyeh!
You crash through the underbrush, your hobo shoes getting damp and mangled the further you go.
You two aren't getting killed or worse on my watch! Cannon be damned! I swear on Skeletor's name...which is my name...right? You pause and look at your soggy magazine shoes. Of course that’s my name! It’s the only one that matters! My one true self! Nyeh!
You then resume your pursuit, only realizing a little too late that you have no idea where they went. The forest is so thick and dark, they could have been five feet away from you, and you wouldn’t have known. And yet the forest seems somewhat familiar. Crisp trees, cool air. Somehow it reminds you of home, even though you lived nowhere near a forest. And yet a strange sense of Déjà vu permeates you. But before you can think too much on that, you hear a few growls.
Aw Crap, you mumble fearfully as you grip the Havoc Staff tighter and hear the unmistakable sounds of wildlife within the woods. You even smell the distinct nauseating scent of something awful.
AHH! Timberwolves! Begone foul creatures! Begone! You warble as you start pointing your staff in random directions, shooting quick little shots of blue light. On one of the blasts you hear a doglike yelp, and some panicked running.
AAAHHHH!!! You yell as you keep blasting in the direction you heard the yelp come from.
Alright, new plan. Hope for the best, and try to get back to Pinkie’s without dying! Snips and Snails, you’re on your-!
“RRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!” a massive growl permeates the air, followed by two childlike screams.
And I’m out. Thus you do the one plan you know you can count on: A technique passed down one of the most badass lineages of all time...
...Run as fast as you possible can away from the Ursa Minor!
As you run, shredding the rest of your hobo shoes, you hear the large growl getting closer, as well as two ponies shouting. Looking behind you, you see Snips and Snails running as the Ursa Minor chases them down. Noticing that they were going to be overtaken by the bear eventually, you do something stupid.
You stop running long enough to let the two foals run by you. As they do you scoop them up in each hand, hold them between your arms and the Havoc Staff, and start making a run for it. The extra weight of the two foals slows you down a bit, but you somehow manage to out run the Ursa.
“Oh my gosh! Skeletor! You came to save us!” Snips grunts.
Ya ya, Whatever you little brat! You wouldn’t have needed saving if you didn’t-
“Thank goodness. Some weird blue light shot into the cave and woke the Ursa Major up,”
What?! You nearly stumble, but catch your footing. I’m the cause of the rampaging bear? The Minor roars behind you as if in answer.
Shit! I am not on my A Game at all today! Cursing God, the Universe, your bad luck, and Beastman, you force your poor feet to go faster away from the Kaiju. The two foals continue screaming their lungs out, and you’re pretty sure you might be deaf in one ear now, but considering the alternative you think you can live with it.
“Get us to Trixie Mr. Skeletor!” Snips screams.
“Ms. Trixie will stop it!” Snails shouts.
Like Hell She Will! I don’t want to Die! I Don’t Want To Die!
Eventually you break the tree line and make it to town. You see Twilight and your escorts talking to a group of ponies holding pitchforks and torches. For some reason you can't help but feel like they were meant for you. As soon as Twilight spots you she gives you a heavy glare as she yells,
"SKELETOR! Where the hay have you been?! Do you know how much trouble you’re-" You completely ignore her, run by her and the mob, point behind you with a terrified look, and keep on running. When the Minor breaks the tree line, the mob loses it and runs for their lives as well.
Shouts of “Ursa Major!” and “Where’s Trixie?!” ring out through the air.
“AAAAAAAHHHH!!!” you hear a very high pitched girly scream as Foxtrot completely overtakes you in running, leaving an after image in her wake.
The hell?!
“I told you Fox! I told you he wasn’t making it up!!!” you hear O’Carrol call out to his retreating partner. Twilight runs up next to you.
“What in the world did you do?!” she shouts as she magics the staff out of your hands.
Nothing! It was them! All them! You panic and start gesturing to the colts in your arms. Now give me back my-
“We didn’t mean to!” Snips wails, catching Twilight’s attention.
“We just wanted to find an Ursa Major so Trixie could defeat it,” Snails bawls.
“But that’s not an Ursa Major, that’s an Ursa Mi-“ Twilight begins, before she is interrupted by shout of,
“There she is!”
Looking to the side, you see Gilda dumping Trixie on the ground and pointing at the bear.
“Giant Bear! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!” she demands to the beleaguered stage magician.
“What? You pulled me out of my Wagon to stop THAT?!” Trixie gasps in fright.
“Yeah you moron! Just like in your story!” Gilda pressures.
“I…right…of course,” Trixie chuckles nervously and starts trotting towards the bear.
As the Bear marches closer and closer to the town proper a thought rings out through your mind.
Wait, with Gilda here, her wagon didn’t get destroyed. I might still be able to salvage this. Now all we have to do is just wait for all of this to-
“I have to go put an end to this,” Twilight speaks up. “You were right to run Skeletor, there’s no way you could have defeated that thing.” Something snaps in your head at that declaration. All of your early fear, all your common sense and goals of self-preservation get thrown out the window. Back home, this feeling accompanied acts of reckless endangerment, property damage and more often than not, fireworks. But here in Equestria…
Lord Skeletor is No Coward! Nyeh!!!
You come to a complete stop and release the two foals. They look up to you with awe, but you don't notice as you book it back towards the Ursa.
“Skeletor Wait!” Twilight calls out. “What are you doing?!”
With Twilight around this might just work. This has got to be the stupidest idea I've ever had. But if it works...
What idea is this? Well...
Master of Shadows's Comment
You, Skeletor, are going to try and tame the baby Ursa. That way you can have a loyal pet that will stand by your side as you finally defeat He-Man!
I can see it now. He-Man, begging on his knees for mercy as my mighty Ursa Minor comes down and defeats him! Also, I will totally make up for my defeat from Trixie earlier.
As you run back towards where Trixie is about to confront the bear you see that Twilight still looks conflicted on what to do, but something either insane, brave or both is making you face the kaiju.
And now that you have a frame of reference outside the spooky dark woods, it’s really no bigger than many of the buildings in town. It’s not so much Godzilla sized, as it is in the King Kong territory. But even still, Kong was a tough scary S.O.B. But you will not be deterred. You NEED this epic mount!
It’s only when you are more than halfway there that you realize you don’t know how you’re going to accomplish that, and that you don’t have your staff anymore.
Luckily, as Trixie tries and fails to deter the Minor, her lights reveal two white boxes near some trees, and they are buzzing.
Kersey's Comment
Convenient, you think as you rush over to the boxes. Gilda sees you running and flies over to you.
“Skelebro, what’re you doing?”
SCIENCE! You “shout” back at her as you then grunt and lift the lid off the first box and reach in and grab two beehives, one in each hand. Then, predictably, the bees start stinging you.
"Just drop the beehives!" Gilda shouts, but you don’t, you blindingly run while being stung all over towards the Ursa as Trixie screams and flees.
NO! Now's not the time for Nicholas Cage impressions! That comes later! Now's the time to gain an awesome steed to destroy the accursed He-Man with! With that you start ignoring the bees and pleas from ponies to turn back as you confidentially stride towards the giant star-bear with a beehive in each hand.
This Ursa's just a cranky baby right? Then all I need to do is feed him what all bears love most; HONEY! Winnie the Pooh Be Praised!
With that thought you rear back your hand and throw the beehive as hard as you can, the hive goes flying and manages to land on the Ursa's snout. The Ursa pulls back in shock before it’s nose starts sniffing and it’s tongue extends and licks it’s honey covered snout. Soon it's anger and shock is replaced with joy. It laps up and eats the beehive off the ground before it starts looking around excitedly for where that delicious treat came from.
OVER HERE! You mentally yell as you jump up and down waving the beehive above your head.
"What the hay is he doing?!?" a pony exclaims as the Ursa comes closer.
"Has he lost his mind!?!" another says as you hold the beehive above your head, your grin growing with every step closer the behemoth bear takes,
YES! YES! COME TO ME MY FUTURE-AWESOME STEED!
The Ursa stops in front of you, takes a curious sniff, then takes the beehive off your hands in one lick. As the Ursa chews, you take the opportunity to quickly climb up it's leg and mount the back of it's neck like it was a warhorse.
"Is he... riding the Ursa?!" Twilight exclaims in shock.
"Okay... That's bucking awesome," Gilda and Rainbow Dash both say, jaws dropping.
MWAHAHAHAHA! The first part of my army has been acquired! I shall call you Fluffy-McDoomy and together we shall finally conquer Castle Greyskull!
With a crazed smile on your face, you victoriously raise your fists in the air atop your mighty steed... only for said "steed" to think you have more honey in your hands so he stands on his hind legs. This would be adorable... except for 3 things;
1. It's a giant bear
2. It's still a baby and has the coordination of one
3. You're currently on it's back.
As the behemoth stumbles and falls you are sent flying through the air.
CURSE YOU HE-MAN!!!-*THUD*
“OW!” Pinkie cries out as you land on her. Her soft cushy body breaking your fall.
“Are you alright Skeletor?” she gasps as she gets out from underneath you.
You sit up and give her a thumbs up, only then realizing how many stings are on your arms.
And there goes the adrenaline wearing off…AAAAAAHHHHH!!!
And you momentarily black out from the pain, even as the Ursa Minor gets back up and looks curiously at you.
SOMETIME LATER
When you wake back up, you see the Ursa Minor being floated away, as well as the concerned faces of Pinkie, Fluttershy and Gilda staring you down. Trotting over is O’Carrol, but Foxtrot is thankfully nowhere in sight. You ignore their concern in favor and standing up quickly and looking in despair at the distant Ursa.
Nooooo my Ursa! I just got you and now you’re gone already! At least stay so you can eat Svengallop!
You sigh dejectedly but then you realize that your bee stings aren’t soul breakingly painful.
Huh? You gesture to your arms and feel around your face and body.
“Oh, the Ursa Minor breathed some sort of dust on you, and your welts started going away,” Pinkie Pie chimes up.
“Yes, it did something for the stings,” Fluttershy muses.
“Dude, you are freaking nuts you know that?” Gilda admonishes, with both admiration and a look of scolding. You brush them off as you look back at the floating Baby Bear.
We Connected! We Connected and now you’re gone. I guess I can settle for Harry, but it won’t be the same… you lament as tears start to form in your eyes. Your tears come to a stop though when you hear shouting.
“But The Great and Powerful Trixie didn’t do anything!”
You look towards the source of the outcry and see…
Shadow The Fire Spirit's Comment
Trixie with a bunch of ponies frowning and yelling at her to leave. She is hitched to her wagon, and she both looks sad and confused.
“Trixie did not bring that bear here! It wasn’t my fault!" The shouts continue though despite her protests.
Crap! She’s still getting shunned. I saved her wagon sure, but she still might go after the Alicorn Amulet for revenge! But then again, when she comes back I’ll already have the Havoc Staff ready. She will be no match for the great Skeletor! Nyeh heh heh! You go to hold aloft your staff, but then you remember how Twilight took it from you in the confusion.
OH COME ON!!! Damn my self-jinxing nature! Sighing at the loss of your favorite weapon (again), you take another look at the ready to bolt showmare.
...Uh, I better not take any chances though. Not that I am scared of her magicing me into a penguin or anything, I am the mighty Skeletor after all! I am just... your eyes land on Pinkie, Concerned about what could happen to my pink party pony! Yeah, that. Besides, it’s not even her fault this time. It’s not even Snips and Snails. It’s mine…not that I’m going to admit to that, but Trixie doesn’t need an angry mob on her!
"Hey, where are you going?!" You hear the guard with a name that is probably related to wood say as you sprint away from your little entourage.
"Yeah, come back Skelly!” Pinkie adds. You ignore them both for you have to stop an unnecessary revenge plot. Also you do NOT want to go back into the woods tonight.
Trixie has tears welling in her eyes at the accusatory looks of the mob ponies (who you still think might have been for you) but before she has a chance to run, you step between her and the crowd, which shocks everyone.
Trixie looks back up at you curiously, but you give her a kind smile before you turn back to the mob and give each and every one of them a disappointed look and cross your arms as you stare them all down.
Despite your bravado, you are internally panicking.
Damn It! Today Is Not My Day! Why am I facing down a mob with pitchforks and torches? My feet hurt, my epic mount is gone, and I just want this day to be over! And I really regret letting Twilight take my Havoc Staff right about now!
For some reason, you feel as if you've been staring down this angry mob for a week. But shaking off that impossible scenario you take a deep breath and...
Greatness942's Comment
With your best death glare you embrace and welcome the staring this time. As the ponies look at you, some get intimidated and back off. Most, if not a vast amount of them stick around. One of them says,
"Buck this! I don't have to be this creature's-" and walks forward. Your response is to take a single, fearsome step, which sends that poor soul back into the crowd.
You better run. I'm Goddamn Skeletor. As the crowd starts to back off slightly, you decide to take a chance and take your eyes off them to check on Trixie.
It's gonna be okay. The mean gullible mob won't get y-HEY! You see Trixie trying to sneak off while you’re staring down the mob. Deciding that that is unacceptable you...
BrownDog's Comment
Do the tried and true method of scooping up the dog sized mare and holding her wriggling form at your side.
"What are you doing?! Put me down!" she thrashes but you don't comply. O'Carrol looks at your antics and shrugs as he starts trying and failing to disperse the crowd.
"Alright folks, nothing to see here. Move along." They of course don't. Eventually, Pinkie, Gilda and Spike come to stand by your side to keep the mob from doing anything drastic.
As Trixie keeps trying to get out of your arms, you cradle her like a baby until she calms down, though she seems embarrassed by the attention all the crowd is giving to the scene.
"Please put Trixie down?"
NEVER!
"Believe me Trixie, when Skeletor likes somepony, he doesn't tend to let them go so easily," Pinkie giggles.
"Yeah, even if it's embarrassing as all heck," Gilda adds. She even tries to drop a smoke pellet, but you grab it from her hooves and put it into your poncho.
Score! If I can get Trixie to stay, she can supply me with more, and even FIREWORKS! Glorious wonderful fireworks. The wonderful combustible explosive goodness of-
"Trixie is concerned, it's got a weird smile on his face..." she shudders and you focus back on the mob instead of the explosives that constantly got you in trouble back home.
"Don't worry about that. Skeletor always gets deep into thought about random mysterious things that we can't comprehend since the only form of communication with him is drawings," Pinkie hoof waves.
"What do you mean move along? That bragger nearly destroyed the town!" You and your friends snap out of the conversation and turn towards the angry, and now annoyed, mob who aren’t listening to O’Carrol. This outburst causes you to scowl, and use the ultimate defense...
Double middle finger defense
You proceed to use the all mighty double middle finger technique! This technique has been passed down your family from generation to generation. It's mighty power can stop even a raging bull for fear of the double bird. There is a tense silence as the crowd stares in awe at your mighty digits. You see some of them begin to back off and smile smugly.
That's right! Fear the mighty double middle fi- Your thoughts are interrupted by Gilda's sudden laughing. You stare at the griffon in confusion, but once your eyes land on her claws you realize why she's laughing in the first place.
Oh right...ponies don't have fingers/claws. So they don't know I'm flipping them off, but since Gilda has talons...Must. Resist. Urge. To. Laugh.
As you try to hold back your own laughter at the situation, the crowd seems to regain its backbone once again as the loud mouth from before shouts,
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
MagicLover2128's Comment
"Hey get out of the way!" One of the stallions in the mob shouts at you, "It's her fault this happened!"
You shake your head and give the mob a glare
Look, just because she told a story about defeating a Ursa Major doesn't mean it was her fault annnnd I can't talk.
You sigh as you realize it will have to be simple charades again, since you’d need both hands to draw in your sketchbook.
“Quit jostling Trixie around so much!” she complains, as you shift her to under your armpit.
Ignoring her complaint you begin to use your fingers and hands to focus the now confused but still temperamental mob on you as you sign and show them that Trixie is not to blame as she was not the one to draw the bear to the town.
You point to a certain cowering pair of foals who freeze as you point at them with one hand and make a bunch of gestures with your other hand in an attempt to show them that those two brats were the ones who went into the forest to lure the Ursa Minor so that Trixie could supposedly deal with it from what Trixie claimed to have accomplished on her travels.
As you now point to the now visibly tired and exhausted appearance of Trixie and give your best charade of explanations to show them that Trixie was still tired and was exhausted from most of her Magic from the show she put on and used up earlier that day, especially when she competed against yourself and others.
You then lead on to try and get across how it would have been impossible for her to combat or deal with the bear in her condition.
You hope you did your best in explanations and somehow have saved Trixie from a bad fate.
...
...
...
"You have any idea what this thing just did?"
"Nope. Sure we can't just run them both out of town?" You can't help but facepalm while sighing in annoyance.
Is it too late to let Nightmare Moon bring eternal night?
"U-um perhaps you should draw it out?" Fluttershy says from next to you. You try not to jump from the sudden appearance,
Jeez Flutters! You're not supposed to be able to teleport! You then gesture to the blue unicorn in your arms.
“Oh, um…we’ll keep an eye on her?” she asks. Looking from the unsure Pegasus, then to the crowd you just shrug and set Trixie down between Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie.
Don’t you go anywhere little Ms. Showboat, you scold as you pat her had, messing up her mane.
“Stop treating Trixie like a foal!” Smirking, you turn back to the rather patient angry mob and whip out your notebook.
Stupid Foxtrot burning the earlier pages, now I’m gonna have to draw everything from scratch! You think indignantly, briefly wondering where the heck she ran off to. Putting thoughts of vengeance aside for the time being, you begin to rapidly draw your points in a manner that would make Rohan Kishibe jealous.
Your efforts are so grand and amazing that anyone looking at it would say it was an effort that revolutionized modern thinking in a way that proved your eloquence and talent in writing.
Unfortunately, you're facing an angry mob of ponies, in which logic and eloquence have no effect.
"What is that?" One of them asks.
"Dunno," another with a torch replies. "I'm kinda acting on herd and mob mentality right now."
"So, get Trixie?" asks another with a pitchfork.
"Yep." The mob starts shouting angrily and moves towards you.
“Hey! Royal Guard Here! Hold It Right There!” O’Carrol shouts, only to be ignored.
You have never felt more insulted in your entire life. All of that beautiful work just ignored. You feel this anger build up inside of you until it blows up.
You stomp your foot and let out a raspy snarl, baring your teeth at the mob.
The effect is immediate. All of them wilt under the display from an apex predator and stop in their tracks, looking at you with pure terror.
What the hell was that? You wonder, I haven't gotten that angry, or acted that way since...no no bad memoires. Focus on the here and now, worry about past mistakes later. You put it aside in order to find a way to calm everyone down before they regain their courage.
However before you can even get a chance to do anything, you suddenly hear Twilight call out,
BrownDog's Comment
"What is going on here?"
"The search party we'd gathered earlier for the Creature was angry and trying to kick the showmare out of town. He’s intervened, but they have yet to disperse," the royal guard reports.
"Why? This wasn't her fault," Twilight asks flabbergasted at the mob who give her looks of respect.
I guess being able to lift a freaking King Kong bear carries weight around here.
"No, but it might be ours," O'Carrol says apologetically. "We didn't heed the psychic warnings." Twilight's eyes widen in realization.
"The drawing in the dirt earlier...He Saw This Coming!"
"Yes Ma'am. I believe that also." She then looks at you.
"But why did you run off and steal the staff back from the Library?" You merely point to Snips and Snails who look sheepish,
“W-well, we did go out into the woods to find an Ursa Major so that Ms. Trixie could fight it,” Snails starts.
“And then we found one, and it chased after us, but Mr. Skeletor saved us,” the crowd look incredulous at that, as if they don’t believe it.
What? I did save them you unbelieving pony pricks!
“Why in the world would you do that?” shrieks Trixie.
“To show how cool you are,” both of them say apologetically. Twilight just shakes her head in disgust.
“That was highly irresponsible you two. Waking a giant monster like that. And that was only an Ursa Minor! Imagine if you’d awoken his mother.”
“Well, we didn’t actually wake it,” Snails says.
Uh-Oh.
“Yeah, we found the cave, but then we heard yelping dog noises, and this big blue light-“
Before they say more to incriminate you, you act fast to avoid unneeded complications by...
Master of Shadows's Comment
Pocket Sand!!! Throwing the smoke pellet that you just got from Trixie at the two colts.
*POOF* and SOMEHOW they actually vanish preventing them from recounting your assistance in waking it.
However you don't really focus on that, as you and the entire populace stare at where the two foals once were in shock.
I...uh....okay I'm really hoping I did not just teleport two kids into the stratosphere. Also, HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN!?!?
“Ohhhhhh…” you hear groaning coming from behind you, and when you turn around you see both foals groggily exiting Trixie’s wagon.
“What happened?” Snails warbles before flopping on the ground, Snips falling on top of him soon after.
“Did anyone catch the number of that carriage?”
“Are…are you two okay?” asks Twilight worriedly.
"WHO CARES ABOUT THOSE FOALS!" interrupts a heckler. “Her black voodoo can teleport ponies, but she didn’t do a thing to stop the bear!” You look towards the mob as another member begins speaking.
Puzzling Frost's Comment
"Yeah! Trixie still had boasted about taking down an Ursa Major, if she wasn't such a bragger she wouldn't have put it into those colts’ heads to go looking for one to prove her worth!" Many ponies nodded in agreement and look back at her seemingly angrier.
"Now wait just a second! I didn't tell them to go look for a giant bear! I was performing! Don't you know that exaggeration is a part of a performance?! How else do you think I gather audiences! Saying I'm the average and normal Trixie doesn't attract crowds or get me bits to eat!" an annoyed Trixie defends stepping next to you away from the “protection” of Fluttershy and Pinkie.
Half the mob seems to back down at that statement, but it still seems to not be enough. You even see the Elements in the crowd and next to you putting their heads down in shame for interrupting her show.
But before you could think over that the mare from before steps forward revealing herself to be…
HE-MAN NUMBER 5! The Bad Mother He-Man!
Spoiled Rich herself as she proclaims, "It's still your fault that those colts went off and brought a monster into town. Foals are easily impressionable after all! I was in the middle of my beauty sleep for Celestia's sake! You are still to be held accountable!"
POCKET SAND!!! You “screech” as you thrust your hands into your poncho pockets, only to find nothing but your implements. Damn It! Note To Self, Get More Pocket Weapons. I shouldn’t have wasted that smoke pellet on those idiots. This Rhino would be more deserving!
“And what are you staring at monkey thing?” she asks grumpily looking at your stink eye.
A Botched Nose Job Apparently!
The other ponies in the mob all still seem on edge, but the entire atmosphere stops dead when the sound of weeping is heard.
"It's not my fault! I didn’t know those kids would do this! I just wanted to rest so I sent them away. How could I have known?!" Trixie cries out tears in her eyes as she falls down next to you sobbing. That serves to turn a few of the faces sympathetic.
"I didn't bring in a bear to try and hurt anypony! All I've ever wanted was to bring joy to anyone who was willing to see my show, but nooo every time I perform it seems there's always somepony who wants to toss me out of town for my 'lame performances' and now I'm being accused of bringing a monster into town and endangering everypony! The only creature here who enjoyed my show and was willing to defend me wasn't even a pony!" Trixie looks up at you with such a heartbreakingly sad expression your own eyes start to well up.
Jesus… No wonder you went nuts in the show. You poor little-
She shuts her eyes tight and stands up with her horn glowing dangerously knocking you out of your reverie. She then opens her eyes and glares at the mob of now cowering ponies, with tears streaming down her face.
“Again and again I’ve said this wasn’t my fault, but you backwards hicks can’t get that through your stupid skulls! You want me gone? Fine!” she lifts a pellet up in her hooves.
"As far as Trixie is concerned you all can BUCK OFF AND GO TO TARTARUS!!!!" she screams as she throws the pellet down.
No Wait! I’ll protect you, don’t…go?
As the smoke clears, you see that Trixie and her wagon are gone. In the distance, you see her wagon disappearing down the road into the night.
Greatness942's Comment
BrownDog77's Comment
B-But…but I saved your wagon…I stood up for you. I…You stare at the spot where the wagon and the crying blue mare had stood not moments ago. A look of loss and puzzlement upon your face.
She still left, despite the deviations. Can I really not change things for the better? What the hell was all this for today then?! You begin to shake in rage.
“Skeletor?” Pinkie says nervously as you turn your burning gaze to the mob who all take a step back.
I just wanted to change it up a little. I hate reruns! But no! You little bastards just had to follow the timeline didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU?! Many of the ponies begin to shake with fear at your anger. Spoiled Rich especially seems drained of color in fright.
“Uh dude?” you hear Gilda ask with concern.
I hate when this place is too much like the real world. Judgmental jagoffs who think their Karma is in the green not listening to reason. Wouldn’t even give the time of day to someone different, someone who doesn’t fit the mold, SOMEONE WHO JUST WANTS TO BE LEFT ALONE WITH HIS CARTOONS!!! DAMN YOU ALL! DAMN YOU ALL HELL!!!
Then, you snap.
You thrust your fists outwards and scream your anger at their injustice to the heavens…and once again, the cosmic forces that be screw with you. For when you opened your mouth, you expected another piddly little yell, like your curse permits. So, you can imagine the shock when a blood-curdling scream emerges full-force from your mouth.
All of the ponies, from the Elements, to the background ponies, to even the resident dragon and visiting griffon, Every single one suddenly huddles together in terror as the previously silent human lets loose a raging scream of vengeance. And what does that fear inducing scream sound like?
"NNNNYYYYYYEEEEEEEHHHHHH!!!!" Of course it would sound like that, it’s who you truly are at heart. This yell is you, and it conveys the frustrations that have long plagued you before you even came to this Technicolor land. To these ponies, it is the most terrifying sound they’ve ever heard. It's so loud, and intense even dogs start barking. Eventually though, the air is exhausted from your lungs as your roar fades off and you start panting.
As you pant you rub your throat in realization of what you’ve just done. You try to speak normally... But of course, it yields no results.
Wow, real good cosmic joke. I can scream like a loon, but speaking? Nah, too much work. Just another thing in the long list of things making Lord Skeletor a butt monkey. You then turn to the townsfolk, who are either shocked, scared, or both. A part of you is grateful for this. It serves them right for how they acted, but a more overwhelming part of you is just tired.
Without even thinking, you turn and walk back to the Cake's Bakery.
Screw this. I'm headin' to bed. This whole damn day was a waste of time.
You turn and give everyone there one more long, disappointed look, as well as one more final middle finger salute before you leave, mentally grumbling the whole way.
Staadnauthursil's Comment
Sunbro4life's Comment
When you arrive at the bakery, it is dark and abandoned, which makes sense seeing as how practically the whole town was outside. Before you head upstairs, you raid the fridge since you hadn’t had anything to eat or drink since this whole nightmare began.
As you sit on your futon, eating leftover Macaroni and Cheese and stale muffins, you can’t help but fall further into melancholy.
Poor Trixie. Maybe I can convince the higher ups to put an APB on you before you go all revenge crazy. But I suppose that will backfire too somehow. Hell, knowing how the universe hates me Discord will get free early and turn me into a penguin or something.*Sigh*
After finishing your meal, you shut out the light and lie down.
I’ll talk with Pinkie later. I don’t think I can face her right now, not after how I scared everyone.*Sigh* I’m probably more unpopular now. Not to mention I lost another pair of hobo shoes, and Twilight will keep my Havoc Staff more locked up now.
You place your pillow over your head and pull your blanket over yourself.
It’s moments like these I wonder why the hell I’m even here…or how I even got here. If I can’t change things too much, then what’s the point? You let out one more sigh as you drift off to sleep.
I'm getting too annoyed for all this crap.
THE NEXT DAY
As you blearily come back to the waking world, you attempt to shield out the invading sunlight and fall back to the welcoming embrace of sleep. Unfortunately, someone’s having a conversation.
“Foxy, he stood up to that bear and stopped that mob from hurting that traveling show mare. Can’t we leave out his rage on the report in favor of his good deeds?” a male voice asks.
“You know as well as I do Oak that we have to report everything. Those were our orders. And don’t call me Foxy in public, somepony might overhear,” a female chides.
Hmm, Scandalous… you think drearily.
“S-Sorry m-ma’am,” the male stutters. “But seriously, we shouldn’t burden the princess unnecessarily. I’m sure we can still get this situation under control.”
“Too late on that front. The prized pupil has already sent her a letter. When it’s time to report, we will do so as Guards, not civilian hearsay. And the fact is that the creature scared an angry mob into submission.”
Okay, this is sounding less and less like a dream. Who’s in my… Room?
You don’t awaken to your futon in Pinkie’s room, but rather to a bunch of mattresses on the floor of a cell.
Pinkie?! What’s going on! Where Am I?! you silently screech in panic as you sit up.
You don’t see your favorite party pony anywhere, but what you do see is a downtrodden looking O’Carrol and a stern looking Foxtrot in front of your cage. They see you awakening and clear their throats before facing you.
You get up from the group of mattresses and bang on the bars which causes them to jump back.
Let me out of here! I didn't do anything wrong!
Foxtrot looks at you with a somewhat apologetic, but still stern look,
"Look, I know you’re confused, and probably shocked, calm down and let us explain this situation.”
Calm Down?! How? I’m in jail again! And this time Sis isn’t around to post my bail!
“Look, Creature. Skeletor!” O’Carrol shouts and you look to him. “Really, everything’s going to be fine. You’re not in any trouble.”
I’m Not? You ask as you gesture to the cell.
“Well, not trouble in the way you’re thinking. This is for your own protection.”
Protection? You mouth with a confused face and Foxtrot speaks up again.
“It’s true. Listen, I acknowledge that you were a big help with the…Ursa Minor,” she says with a shudder before composing herself, “And that you intervened on behalf of the show mare, but the fact remains that you scared a lot of ponies with that stunt of yours. That roar of yours was…well…ponies all over town heard it.”
Of course they freaking did, you sigh in depression.
“Whether it was justified or not, and from what O’Carrol’s told me it was, we still needed to put you here. Some of the towns folk were close to accepting the idea of burning Sugar Cube Corner down while you were inside because they were that terrified."
You feel your heart sink at hearing this.
Did I really scare them that badly? I- You hang your head, feeling pretty miserable. You hear Foxtrot sigh,
"Look, no one got hurt, The Elements, O’Carrol and I were able to disperse the crowd before these talks could become a reality. Still, we felt it better to be cautious than risk it. You need to stay here for a couple days until things die down. For your protection and the Elements." You can feel her grimace, "I hope I never need to see Pinkie cry like that again."
You can't help but fall deeper into your misery. You made Pinkie cry, one of the Unforgivable Sins. You feel like the worst person ever.
“She uh…” Foxtrot stammers seeing your saddened expression. “She said that she would come by to see you later. All of them would…if that helps?”
A part of you can appreciate Foxtrot trying to make you feel better, but it doesn’t work.
"Um, Ma’am?" You hear O’Carrol urge, "Aren't you forgetting something?"
You hear her teeth grind,
"I-I was wrong about your vision of the bear. I'm sorry for burning your notebook pages yesterday…Even if I still don’t buy into it, I’m sorry about burning your art."
"Not that, the other thing,” he urges her. “Ya know, about the Princess?” you perk up at that as goosebumps hit the back of your neck.
Princess? What about the princess?
“R-Right. Look, Twilight Sparkle sent a letter to Princess Celestia last night. She’ll want to speak to us and you in person. Next week she’ll be coming to town.”
She will?! You think in dread at the Solar Horse passing judgment on you.
Seeing your fear, O’Carrol speaks up, “No no, she’s not coming just for that. She was already coming anyway as part of a royal visit.”
“Right, but while she’s here, she’ll be able to get our reports. While the town may give their opinions, we will give her the facts,” Foxtrot finishes thinking that will ease your mind. If anything though…
Royal Visit? Wait, if this was already planned, and we’re still in Season 1 then that means…your eyes widen even more. PARASPRITES!!!
You turn from the two guards and go back to your mattresses, facing the wall as you cradle your head and rock.
“I uh…I’m sure everything will be fine. The truth is the strongest defense after all,” Foxtrot says to your back, but you don’t listen. You wallow in your own self pity for scaring everypony, making Pinkie cry, and how ravenous little Navi’s will be here in a week’s time.
Some Time Later
After staring at your wall and muttering for who know’s how long, you hear Foxtrot speak up.
“Creature. You have a visitor.”
Pinkie?! You think as you whip around. But it isn’t your favorite party pony, it’s your favorite griffon looking a bit nervous.
“H-hey man,” she waves. You wave back and get closer to her.
She scratches the back of her head and says,
“Crazy night huh?”
You just stare at her incredulously.
“Yeah, that was pretty lame,” she then lets out a sigh. “Look, I’m not going to ask you how you’re doing because I think it’s pretty obvious. This town is kind of…bigoted.”
You nod in agreement.
“And I thought Griffonstone was bad. I mean, it’s still a dump but…nevermind. The point is, I’m thinking I’m gonna be bouncing out of town here soon.”
You shoulders slump at that.
You too cat bird? She sees your sad expression and sighs.
“I already talked to Dash and Pinks. It’s just that, well, after that showmare, your yell, and that Zebra this morning, I just kind of feel the atmosphere is a bit hot. I’ve already seen some jerks giving ME the stink eye.”
Stupid racist ponies. Friendship is Magic my a- Wait did you just say…
“So yeah, I came to tell you that I’ll be heading home soon. Not that I won’t come back or anything, but right now it’s just too- Huh?”
You interrupt her as you show her a picture you’d drawn of Zecora and point at it.
“The Zebra? Yeah, everypony in town was freaking out thinking she’d eat them or something and locking themselves inside. Then the cowpony’s little sister chased after her or something, and they rushed out to get her and when they came back they were saying how she said some sort of curse to them, but the purple one was like ‘There’s no such things as curses,’ and…” she is startled as you throw your hands to your head.
ZECORA'S EPISODE IS UP NOW?! I THOUGHT THE DRAGON AND SLUMBER PARTY CAME NEXT?! WAS THE SHOW SHOWN OUT OF ORDER? IS THAT WHY THE PARASPRITES ARE COMING NEXT WEEK?!
WHAT DO YOU DO?
Episode 16: HEYEYEYEYEAAAA! HEYEYEYEYEAAAA! I SAID-NYEHHH!
As you and Gilda stare at each other tensely you can't help but think,
Weird, feels like we've been staring at each other for four months. I wonder wh-NO WAIT FOCUS ON HOW CANON’S ALL OUT OF WHACK FIRST!
Quickly shaking your head to clear your thoughts you...
Panic
Begin to do what you do best, freak the f@#k out!
You jump up from your sitting position and begin to run around your cell while swinging your arms around. Gilda's eyes widen at this as she says,
"Whoa hey man calm down! I'll come back a visit once in awhile ya know?"
You ignore cat-bird’s attempts to comfort you as you begin to bang your head against the wall, thinking after each bang,
HOW*bang*DID*bang*THIS*bang*HAPPEN?*bang*Oh I feel dizzy...
You fall backwards after your head decides it has had enough of meeting the wall repeatedly. Gilda looks at your downed form in worry.
"Dang man if I knew you cared that much I would have..." she trails off in dejection, but she isn’t really at the forefront of your mind right now.
Okay, now that that is out of my system...okay nope still panicking. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
You grab your head and pull on your hair as you begin to rock back and forth.
"Okay dude...you’re starting to freak me out. Can ya...can ya please knock it off?!" Gilda shouts in concern. Her words finally reaches your more sensible brain parts, and you do the one thing that always manages to snap you out of your panic attacks.
*slap**slap**slap*
A good couple of slaps later finds you back to your slightly insane, yet less panicked self.
"Okayyyy...you fine now?" she says unsurely.
You look at Gilda for a solid couple of seconds before doing a 'maybe' gesture.
Okay. Enough freaking out now, there’s plenty of that coming later. Right now, I gotta figure out a way to get out of here, or at least to warn everyone. If all the ponies are more xenophobic because of me, this might not end well for Zecora. And with that, you…
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
MagicLover2128’s Comment
DenneyLaw’s Comment
Do the only thing you can do.
You start convulsing, and begin drawing on your notepad.
Thankfully, Gilda realizes what's going on as her eyes widen, "Hey guard ponies!" She shouts, "Skeletor's having another vision!"
Foxtrot and O’Carrol rush over and witness your sick sketching skills.
With your drawings, you then describe Poison Joke, making sure to draw it as accurately as possible. You color it in with blue crayon for good measure. You then show a danger symbol next to it with a small arrow pointing to the plant and several exclamation points.
You then use another fresh page to display and draw the various members of the Main 6 and what will happen to them if they come into contact with this plant, and you try to desperately convey that Zecora is not to blame by putting her face in a circle with a line through it.
You try to draw out more detail, but your wrist flares up from all the rapid fire sketches and you stop drawing and convulsing.
Well, hopefully this is enough you think as you hand the pictures to Foxtrot who looks at them for a minute before looking back at you,
"Is something going to happen to this zebra and the Elements?" You nod, with your neck muscles twinging from the head banging earlier, and she gains a worried expression.
"Look, I still don't believe your visions completely, but I'll be sure to keep an eye on them today with O'Carrol alright?" she turn to leave the cell and you reach your hand out towards her in desperation.
No no no! You need get them now so they don't make this situation worse! ...Ugh! Stupid Useless Voice Box!
Sighing, you look over to Gilda who is still looking at you in worry and confusion.
Okay cat bird, I need you now more than ever! With that you force your aching wrist to draw out pictures showing how the Elements are already infected with the poison joke and that Zecora is the only one who can cure them. You show next to Zecora’s head a bottle of green potion with a checkmark above it.
Oh please, oh please understand. If I get in good with the Shaman, she might be my best chance for speaking again. Of course with your luck, Gilda misunderstood your intentions.
"So what you’re saying is, this creepy zebra used those dumb looking flowers to put a curse on them? And she's blackmailing them to do her bidding or she won't fix them? Well, we'll see how scary she is when I go cram them down her throat!!! Thanks for the warning there Skeletor."
And before you can correct her, she flies off to presumably do just that. Your two guards look at the fleeing griffon for a few moments before both shrug.
DAMNIT! You facepalm. Now she's gonna infect Zecora AND herself. And blackmail!? Where the hell do my pictures even suggest that!?
You try to get your Guards’ attention, but they talk amongst themselves.
“Alright Oak, I want you to go and check up on the Element Holders while I watch him…just in case alright?” He smirks a little at that.
“Just in case huh? Totally not because you believe him?”
“N-No…Definitely not, don’t be ridiculous,” she stammers.
No! Don’t send your boyfriend out there! He might get infected too! You think in frustration as they don’t see you flailing your arms about.
UGH! How could this get any worse? First I get thrown in jail again, then we skip two whole episodes, and next comes evil ravenous fairies!
In truth, you know exactly who’s to blame for these shenanigans.
Blame the discontinuity on the gods of continuity Beast Man, and make an attempt to break out of your cell when they inevitably leave you inside.
Curse you Beastman! How did you get ranked above Trap Jaw and Mer-Man?! Why must you always cause me untold amounts of headaches even when you’re not in this universe nor even know me?! Wait...if Beastman is messing with my life now does that mean he's some sort of trans dimensional being or-UGH I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!
For once you're the one who interrupts your mental ranting as you once again try to break out of your jail cell.
Gotta stop this from getting worse! You groan as you try to pry the bars back like some sort of strongman. Unfortunately, cartoon logic still does not apply to you, and you struggle uselessly.
“NYEH!” you shout in frustration which shocks not only Foxtrot and O’Carrol, but you as well.
Wait a minute…I can still say Nyeh?
Foxtrot and O'Carrol look at you, somewhat fearfully.
“That’s…that’s the noise he made last night,” O’Carrol explains.
“Yeah…I heard it even on the other side of town,” Foxtrot shudders.
Oh Come On! Don’t you two start being afraid of me! Nyeh is all I can say! You frown at them.
"Um...he looks pretty panicked. Don't you think we should let him out or something?" O’Carrol asks. Foxtrot shakes her head at this before saying,
"Even if I wanted to let him out, we can't. Remember it’s more for his safety then anypony else's till the princess gets here in a few days. If we let him out now it'll only cause more problems for us and him." O'Carrol looks conflicted for a moment before nodding his head.
“Alright ma’am…Listen Skeletor, don’t panic. I’ll make sure that the Mare’s are Okay. Sit tight,” he then trots out the door and you face palm even harder. Realizing that your attempts to break out are no good and that the escorts are of no help you give an airy sigh before you lean against the wall, grab your head and think,
Guess there's nothing to do but wait for Gilda to come back...if she comes back. You let out another sigh and look out your cell window.
This just keeps on getting worse and worse. Stupid town ponies and their need to jump to conclusions...
With nothing but your thoughts for company you begin to wait for Gilda's return...hopefully.
SOME TIME LATER
BrownDog's Comment
After some time Gilda does eventually come back, followed shortly by O’Carrol who gives an all clear to Foxtrot.
“Everything seems to be alright with the Mare’s, everything I’ve heard about this Zebra is second hand so-“ Before you can hear any more of what he’s learned, Gilda flies up to your cell smirking.
“Hey bro, couldn’t find the Zebra to cram the flowers down her throat, but I brought some here in case she comes back,” she says as she tosses you a bundle of blue flowers. Thanks to reflex (and probably Beastman), you grab them before your mind processes what is happening.
NOOO! Damn it Gilda, what have you done?!
“Whoa, what’s up with you? They don’t have thorns or anything. If they do belong to her though, I’ve put a dent in her garden,” she smirks again.
You frantically flip the pages of your notepad the poison joke drawing and you add the universal symbol of poison, although you change the human skull to a pony’s. You then point between it and the flowers.
“Wait a minute, these things are poisonous?!” Gilda shrieks and you nod. She starts panting and looks at her talons.
“I’m gonna…I’m gonna go wash my talons and visit the pharmacy,” she says nervously and flies out, causing you to facepalm, only realizing you’ve pushed blue petals into your face.
Aw crap…
“Um, Skeletor?” O’Carrol interrupts, “If those are indeed poisonous then perhaps you should hand them over before they harm you?”
It’s too late for that copper! You think in dread as you immediately shove the flowers down the toilet before they can infect more ponies.
“…Or that works too I suppose,” he says while Foxtrot actually giggles at the display.
This is no laughing matter! Who knows what’s going to happen to me! What if I grow flippers! What if I get turned into a woman?! What if…What if…Oooohhhh...*THWUMP* your panicking and hyperventilating has served one useful purpose it seems. You mercifully pass out.
THE NEXT DAY
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
(When he eventually gets poison joke'd) One of the following occurs: 1.Skeletor becomes the splitting image of He-man, and starts acting like him when he isn't paying close attention.
After a night of dreamless sleep, you wake up, somewhat cautious about what awaits you today. You are so cautious in fact, that you do not immediately open your eyes.
Oh God, Oh God, Oh God…Okay, Okay. Let’s just feel things out. You start moving your hands and fingers towards your face, so you know that you haven’t lost your communicators.
Okay, good so far. Face still feels…facey, still have hair, a nose and ears. My chest is still broad, my abs are still pronounced and…Wait a minute…
You open your eyes and look down at your body…and you are ripped.
Daaammmnnn, you think in awe as you look over yourself. Arms as thick as tree trunks, with muscles forged out of pure titanium flex and bulge. Abs so hard you could grind diamonds to dust with them-
Holy Hell! This is what’s considered a joke around here? Because this is awesome! I’ve got the peak body that I’ve always…No! Oh God No! your distraction via your own manliness comes to a crashing halt as you notice the clothing you are wearing.
You are now wearing a white full sleeve muscle shirt and a pink vest, light purple pants and purple boots.
Oh God…Please No... You know who you are, but you need to check one last thing. You bring a shaky hand to your head and grab some of your hair to pull it into view.
Thick, golden locks.
You open your mouth to scream in horror, but instead, this:
Once you are done singing, you fall down to your knees unable to react to what just happened.
I'm, you think in dread, I'm He-man.
BrownDog's Comment
NNNNNOOOOOOO!!! THAT’S NOT TRUE! THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!!! And you panic as the singing comes forth again, and you start crying in front of the mirror.
“What was that noise? Who’s singing so loud- Creature!” Foxtrot shouts in bewilderment at the room’s entrance. “What happened to your body and hair?”
Death Foxy! Death is what’s happened!
“A-Are you feeling Okay?” O’Carrrol asks in shock. “I mean, your face looks the same somewhat, but the rest of you…You look nothing like yourself Skeletor.”
Because Skeletor isn’t supposed to look this fabulous! I’m not even fully He-Man, I’m just Prince Adam! This is THE! WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!!! You then start openly bawling into your massive hands. Your guards are understandably very, very confused.
“I-Wha-How could this have happened Oak?” Foxtrot asks.
“I…I don’t…Some of the mares yesterday were talking about curses. I didn’t put much stock into that, but now…”
Oh What Does It Matter?! You try to shout which comes out as
“Heyehyehyeh!” which makes you cry even harder.
Sure I’m ripped, sure I’m even taller now, but I don’t want to be He-Maaaannnn*Sob*
Hyperventilating and sobbing, you catch one more view of yourself into the mirror and pass out again. This time however, your rest is not dreamless…
And wake up screaming...which comes out as "HEYEYEYEYEAAAA!!!”
“Oh Good, he’s awake again,” comes Foxtrot’s voice.
As you sit up, you accidentally break the sink with your immense strength (and head) and water starts spraying around you. But you pay this no mind, for that Nightmare still haunts you.
No way! No freaking way! Lord Skeletor will never swing that way! Even if this body is fabulous, I WON'T!!! You quickly stand up, ignoring your escorts’ shocked looks, as you think,
Okay think man, think! There has to be someway I can fix thi-
Before you can even finish that thought the door to the jail is burst open. You and your escorts look over to the door in shock to see the Elements in all of their Poison Joked glory show up led by Gilda…who looks absolutely fine.
“Skeletor! Not you too!” Twilight Flopple gasps.
“What in the world is going on?” asks Foxtrot at their appearance.
“We’ve been cursed by that Zebra and- Whoa! *CRASH*” Rainbow Crash flies into another cell’s bed with her upside down wings.
“A Curse?” O’Carrol says. “I knew it! I knew Skeletor’s change was way too drastic!”
Spitty Pie holds her hooves up to her cheeks with sad eyes as she takes in your new, hideous form and rushes towards you with a hug. She doesn’t even stop to open the cell door, she somehow impossibly squeezes her way through the bars and wraps her legs around your leg as water cascades around you. Bending down, you hug her back and cry as well.
“What is it? What is happening? I can’t quite see?” Hairity says trying to see through her dreads.
“He’s gotten bigger and his hair changed color,” Flutterguy warbles deeply.
“Well that doesn’t sound too bad,” Hairity points out.
“HEYAAYAAYAAYAAA!!!” your cursed voice sings causing them all to pause.
“…I immediately take that back,” the hairy fashionista apologizes.
“Skeletor! You have to come with us,” Twilight informs as she presses her face up against the bars. “Applebloom and Applejack have gone back out into the woods. All of us have been affected by Zecora’s curse, and we have to get her to stop this!”
“Correctomundo Friendo!” Gilda says enthusiastically before giggling like Pinkie Pie. “Oh my gosh this is so fun. Personally though I think Skelly looks much better in this form. Think of how much more scratches he can give.” She then starts bouncing up and down.
AAAHHHH!!! The poison joke turned Gilda into a more hyperactive Gabby! You scream internally. Screw this! I need that bubble bath NOW!
You then pick up Pinkie, turn around and, much to everypony’s shock, kick a hole through the concrete wall and rush out, heading towards the Everfree.
Spitty Pie looks up to you in amazement.
“Mmmg?” she asks as your new, even taller body runs full sprint through town.
I have no clue Pinkie, I didn’t even know that would work. Though I admit, immense strength is awesome all, but I still look like a jackass!
As you run you notice just how fast you’re going, and while it isn't super speed it is definitely faster than your norm. This of course causes some of the nearby ponies to look at your immense running form in either shock, awe, fear, or all three.
I'll worry about you ponies later! For now I need to focus on getting rid of these awful clothes and hair and- Wait a minute, Where the Hell Am I?!
You come to a screeching halt within the Everfree, realizing you have absolutely no idea where her hut is.
Damnit! Stupid filthy He-Man Brain! Why have you betrayed me?! You anguish.
“Hmmph?” Pinkie Pie asks in your arms. You mime looking left and right then shrug. She looks around then puts a hoof to her chin in contemplation before her eyes sparkle and she points towards your left, deeper into the woods.
Okay, thanks Pinkie, you think as you give her a pat on the head and start running again. Unbeknownst to you, that gentle pat wasn’t so gentle with your new strength and the poor mare is knocked out. Maybe you would have noticed if not for some seemingly random thought that pops into your mind.
Sunset Kusanagi's Comment
Realize that if you want to speak with Zecora properly, you need to do it in rhymes. Everything that you draw or emote has to rhyme.
Wait, if I want to speak with Zecora, Will I have to do it all in rhymes? How do I speak in rhymes with drawings?
It's one of the many mysteries that you shelve on your mental archive of "Look into Later". You really should get a new archive, as ever since you came to Ponyland, it is getting steadily full.
...I really need to stop going off in mental tangents. You think with a sigh as you focus back on the important matter at hand. Or, hoof. Claw... Whatever.
After running in the direction Pinkie gave you for awhile, you finally see flickers of light. Pushing through the brush, you see Zecora’s Tree Hut in all of it’s glory. You even catch a glimpse of Applebloom’s red tail disappearing deeper down the trail.
Finally! You cheer as you rush right through her door without knocking, startling the striped Equine.
“Who are you?! What is going on?!
If you’re here for money, I have none!” she shrieks and backs away from your massive form.
Oh crap! I’ve just broken into her house looking like the worst thing possible! You facepalm. I gotta fix this fast!
You get down on your knees in a submissive stance and place Pinkie Pie in front of her. She seems confused at first before you hold up praying hands and point to your voice and let loose the horrible singing.
Please fix me Voodoo Zebra, Please! I can’t stand looking and sounding like-
Kersey's Comment
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
BrownDog's Comment
*WHACK* You are interrupted as a staff strikes you between the eyes.
What the hell?! You think more in surprise than pain. The panicked Zebra continues to strike at you and your horrible singing mouth.
"You with the golden hair, Please bring me no despair, Your stupid wailing is too much to bear, So keep your catchy song out of my nightmares!"
Truthfully, you can’t blame her for wanting to stop the singing, even if it is sickeningly catchy. Fortunately for you, the staff has little effect on your body, due to it being made of pure Eternian Muscle.
Alright, alright, calm down lady! You catch the staff, but it shatters as soon as you grab it due to your manly strength.
Zecora’s widen in fear and surprise and she shakily walks backwards from you.
“Please don’t hurt me, I did not mean to offend, But hear my plea, Don’t let me hear that song again!”
Is everything in this world going to be scared of me? You think sourly.
You decide to get to the point and pull out the drawing of poison joke you made and tap on it repeatedly. Zecora looks at the picture and then looks at you.
“So you are a victim of the flower too?” she asks and you nod vigorously pointing to your mouth, hair, and whole body.
“Oh…well if you’ll forgive me, then I’ll prepare my cure for you.” You nod and giver her a thumbs up, which she has no idea what it means. She looks over your massive form hunched in her hut, before walking away muttering under her breath,
“I’m going to need a lot of it too.”
You sigh in relief as things seem to have worked out, and even close the door that’s barely hanging on it’s hinges. It’s then that you realize that this whole time, Pinkie Pie hasn’t said or moved from when you set her down.
You shuffle over and examine her, only to see her eyes swirling and a massive goose egg on her head.
Not again! you groan as you pet her head in comfort. How the heck did that even happen?
The poor pink mare with the swollen blue tongue just groans in her sleep as you pet her.
Why am I so good at hurting cute little dog sized horses? You harrumph. It’s only going to worse in this stupid form… And as you think that you realize something. Wait a second, I kicked through a solid concrete wall and ran here faster than five horses could. Even those stick whacks Zecora gave me didn’t really hurt. This body is very durable…
Of course this body is an abomination. The golden locks, the pink vest and skin tight body suit, and of course the very fabulous singing…but still, the muscle mass and strength are welcoming.
Skeletor himself is ripped, and without a study supply of meat, I won’t be seeing results like this anytime soon. All I need to get rid of is the hair, clothes and singing and I’ll be just fine.
Puzzling Frost's Comment
Even your previously sore wrist and neck feel fine. Where before there was pain, there’s only really a slight twinge of discomfort from having slept in a prison cell all night.
Hmmm. Maybe I should crack my neck like in the movies now that I have this stronger body. You think to yourself as you tilt your head, then quickly look to the left.
*CRACK*
….Oh hell yeah did that feel good! You think in pleasure as you start cracking your knuckles, wrists, and stretching your enormous body.
After doing that and a few more basic stretches you can’t help but feel incredible.
Okay, for sure, I need to keep the body but ditch everything else evil about it. For what’s more rewarding than taking over your very foe’s being? I will use your roided out bod for my purposes now He-Man! Nyehahaha!!!
And while trying to laugh to your heart’s content, the singing returns and you hear Zecora yelp and the sound of glass breaking further in the house. Clamping your mouth shut you wince at your mistake.
Okay, Okay, calm down. First need to fix the wrongness before I can gloat. Now hopefully Beast Man won’t somehow screw this up as well.
You then lay down, using Pinkie as a pillow while you wait for Zecora to bring back more ingredients.
Hmmm. Wonder how this is going to play out with me here? Are the ponies going to freak out still thinking that Zecora’s a cannibal? I guess I could draw a picture with all of us as friends to avoid that.
You then pull out your pad and start drawing Zecora, You, Pinkie and the rest holding hooves/hands and laughing.
At least my drawing skills haven’t faded. And if this doesn’t work, I’ll just have another prediction to convince them. Hmmmm…
Kersey's Comment
You realize that many of your predictions have been ones of impending doom, what with the Ursa and the sick ponies and what not.
If I keep only ‘predicting’ bad things, these stupid skittish ponies will fear them as well. I don’t need any more ammo in the hate against me, and I doubt I’m going to be in their good graces for awhile, but hopefully I can play damage control. The last thing I need is more reasons for me to become a lawn ornament. You then begin to 'predict' a few good things that'll happen in the future.
You make sure to draw them in the back of your notebook so you don't accidently show them off early, and you make sure to only draw stuff from season one for now, just in case anyone decides to get too curious with your notebook (*cough*Twilight*cough*)
Okay, competing Rainbow and Applejack, Twilight commanding Winter Wrap Up, Applebloom meeting Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo… you mark off as you sketch.
You just finish drawing Rarity's dresses for the Grand Galloping Gala (the good ones at least) when you hear the clinking of many jars. Raising your head from your Pinkie pillow, you see Zecora returning from the back room with a sack full of more ingredients. She sees you over Pinkie and raises an eyebrow.
“Do tell, is that mare affected too?” she asks and you nod.
“Well, go ahead and stick her in the brew,” she motions towards the cauldron.
“It’s the right temperature for ponies I assume,
But first we’ll have to wait for Applebloom.”
You shrug, not finding any fault in that logic and plop Pinkie into the cauldron with her head above the water. She seemingly sighs in her sleep, which makes her swollen tongue raspberry.
You chuckle at first before you realize something. Wait, that’s the line that made the Mane 6 think she was eating Applebloom. Are they outside the do-
And then the door Zecora's hut bursts open again, flying off it’s hinges from the earlier damage.
“Skeletor No!” Twilight yells. “Don’t eat Pinkie Pie! You have to break through Zecora’s spells!”
“What is the meaning of this you four?!
You’ve just broken my door!” the angry Zebra demands.
Twilight, Rarity, Gilda and Fluttershy all take up defensive positions.
“We’re here to stop you Zecora! We won’t let you ea-Huh?” Twilight stops her rant as you hold your sketch of everyone holding hooves out to her.
“Skeletor! We can’t be her friends! She cursed us and is going to eat Pinkie!” Twilight exclaims. You roll your eyes and pat Pinkie on the head, showing that she’s fine.
“But…what about-“ Twilight starts, but then Rainbow Crash, being steered by Appletini comes in and starts making more of a ruckus. Before Rainbow can knock over the cauldron though, you grab her out of the air and stick her in the pot next to Pinkie.
“Ah!"
“No! Bad Skeletor! We don’t eat our friends!” Gilda screeches.
Shut up and get into the pot you dummies! You frown as you start trying to grab the others. While you plop Hairity in the pot, and Twilight Gilda and Fluttershy try to run from you, Zecora just stares at the whole scenario in shock as tiny Applejack wrestles with her ear.
“Wh-Why is this happening to me today?
I just…I…What the Hay?!” Zecora grumbles as more things start to break. The shenanigans are interrupted though when an adorable voice is heard.
"Hey Zecora, ah got th-what in tarnation!?"
Looking behind you see Applebloom looking at the whole situation in shock. From her point of view, she sees you flopping Flutterguy in the cauldron with Rainbow, Rarity and Pinkie, while Gilda and Twilight pound at your leg, and Zecora stares wide mouthed with her big sister trying to rip her ear off. Looking back and forth between the filly and the cauldron ponies you suddenly realize how bad it looks. You airily chuckle nervously as you hold up your hand and think,
Hehehe...I can explain?
SOMETIME LATER
BrownDog's Comment
Thankfully Applebloom and Zecora did all the talking since, well…you know? But once everyone was on the same page about the Poison Joke, you all proceeded to the spa. That is, after Zecora was given her ingredients of course.
The spa sisters were only semi-reluctant to let you in, but you consider that a victory as its better than them straight up denying you access to their place of business.
Inside, Zecora whipped up her Poison Joke cure into their largest baths, since she factored in your size. Though all this effort is for naught when you don’t get in with everypony else.
Sorry Zecora, but I’m not getting rid of this body. I’ll need it if I’m to survive in this foolish world. You instead take a cup, dip it into the water and down it. It’s salty, and tastes distinctly like crushed herbs and horse hair, but other than that it goes down pretty smoothly.
“Is he drinking our bathwater?” Rarity asks in disgust. You look back at her and the others with the glass still to their lips while the others look at you like you’re some kind of pervert.
You just roll your eyes and flip them all the bird and keep drinking, which causes Gilda to laugh.
“What? Do you know what that gesture means?” asks Twilight.
“Huh? You don’t know? Well it means-“ you throw your cup at Gilda to get her to stop talking.
“Dude!” she growls as she rubs her cheek, but you hold up your hand to shush her as you ready a breath.
Alright, here goes nothing. You open your mouth and,
“HeyyeyeyeyeeeeeeNNNNYYYYEEEEHHH!!!” your annoying singing comes back out as the only sound you’ve been able to make in this land. The only reasonable sound you can possibly make.
“Ooohhhh,” the mares say in understanding.
Yes! I get to keep the body and I don’t sound like an idiot. Still can’t talk, but Nyeh is good enough! Take that He-Man! Your body are belong to us!
You then strip and throw the Prince Adam clothes into the bath, and they come back out as your poncho and underwear. You quickly put the soaking clothes back on when you realize that they are the only things keeping you decent however. The ponies don’t even seem to care, just like that time with Rainbow and the shower.
Shrugging at this, you look down at the purple boots.
Well…they are the epitome of awfulness…but I’m sick of hobo shoes. You win this round He-Man’s wardrobe.
With those two abominations taken care of, you decide to deal with the last one while looking in the mirror. The hair is way too much. That style was old even back in the eighties. It’s time you laid it to rest.
Look at you. You whore slut bitch. You don’t deserve those golden locks. I’m gonna shave the whore off of you! You chide your reflection as you take a pair of scissors out of Rarity’s saddle bags and try to clip away the evilness. Instead of the glorious snipping noise though, you hear a crack. Pulling the scissors away from your scalp, you see them bent and broken, and not one strand of hair has been harmed.
“NYEH!!!” you shout at the inconvenience, startling the others, and causing the spa sisters to run out of the room screaming.
“Skeletor! What’s wrong?” asks Pinkie Pie.
“And what have you done with my scissors?” Rarity growls.
Oh this is such bullshit! I don’t want this fabulous hairdo! You groan as you throw the scissors across the room. You then walk back towards the bath, while everyone looks at you in apprehension, and you gingerly, and carefully dunk only your head into the water. When you pull it back out and look into the mirror, you’re proud to see that the luscious locks are gone, and your dull brown hair has returned.
Yes! Yes! I’ve done it! I don’t look like a jackass anymore! I’m ripped and strong and…sleepy. So very sleepy. Your eyes droop as you are hit by a wave of drowsiness and you fall to the ground.
“Nyeh,” you moan as you pass out. Dreamland comes soon after, but unlike the last few days where it’s been wrought with Nightmares…
Truly your obsession with Skeletor might be a tad bit too...well obsessive. At least that’s what you would think if you were insane. Luckily you are not insane, only crazy, and you know that it’s perfectly healthy to manifest your personality on an eighties cartoon character meant to sell a toy line. And while you fall further into your delusions, the world outside keeps turning.
MEANWHILE IN THE WAKING WORLD
We find the Mane Six and Gilda giving your slumbering form different looks of confusion and awkwardness as you quietly give happy 'nyehs' as you sleep.
"Awwwww...isn't that just adorable! Skelly looks so comfortable I could just snuggle with him right now!"
Well, most of the Mane Six that is. Applejack sends Pinkie unsure look as she says,
"Ah don't know if 'comfortable' is the right word I'd use. He just kind of passed out and slammed head first into the ground."
"I...I don't think he seems to mind it," Fluttershy points out, seeing your smile.
From the other room, Zecora’s voice calls,
“By the way ponies, do not attempt to ingest my brew,
Otherwise swift dreams will come to you.”
“Yeah, thanks, we figured that out,” Gilda calls back.
The others go back to staring at your sleeping form for awhile before Rainbow asks,
"So what now?"
Twilight sighs before saying, "Well they’re still fixing the hole Skeletor put into the cell, so we can't bring him back there, and he refuses to change his body back to normal, so I doubt that place could hold him."
"Yeah,” Pinkie nods a bit sadly. “And as much as I would love to let him stay at my place tonight, the townsponies are still a bit..."
"Scared?"
"T-terrified?"
"Afraid?"
Pinkie seems to deflate with each word her friends give to describe your situation before she says,
"I was gonna say jumpy ya know?”
"Well what are you ponies gonna do?” Gilda sighs, giving her piece. “You can't just leave him here after all.”
“No we can’t,” Twilight agrees. “And until Princess Celestia arrives next week, we have no idea what’s going to happen to him. We just have to keep an eye on him, and make sure he doesn’t hurt anypony, or anypony hurts him.”
“What about the guards? Why doesn’t he stay with them?” asks Rainbow.
“Officers Foxtrot and O’Caroll currently are staying at a hotel,” Twilight points out. “I don’t think the staff will put up with him.
“Do you think it’s weird that they didn’t even come into the Everfree with us? It’s like that mare is afraid of it or something,” Gilda says in thought.
“Alright, so the guards are out, why not have him stay at the farm?” Applebloom chimes in.
“Sugarcube, the last thing we need is fearful ponies coming around the farm with torches,” Applejack points out.
“And it’s not like he can stay at my place, I live in the clouds,” Rainbow points out. “How about you Flutters?”
“I…Well…I wouldn’t mind really, it’s just that…That noise he makes. I don’t want him to startle my animals,” Fluttershy responds.
“And the Cakes don’t want him staying over while everypony’s scared. They say it would be bad for business,” Pinkie deflates.
“And I’m going to be pretty busy with Princess Celestia’s welcoming ceremony. The last thing I need is him home alone with Grogar’s Staff,” Twilight shudders.
The ponies put on thinking faces as they all try to find a way to solve this predicament. It isn't even a few moments later when Rarity's eyes suddenly widen and sparkle as she says,
"Ladies I do believe I have a solution to our problem!"
The others look at Rarity in curiosity as Rarity begins to explain her plan, while you unconsciously twitch in your sleep as a sudden feeling of dread washes over you.
SOME TIME LATER
I didn’t touch the fireworks Sis, I swear! You bolt upright, startling yourself out of sleep. You slowly catch your breath as you realize this isn’t the WalMart Incident. Sighing in relief, you look around your darkened surroundings and see faceless equines staring at you.
“Nyeh!” you cry out as you stumble in the dark.
What the hell is this Silent Hill nightmare? You cry in shock. As your eyes attune to the dim light however, you notice that these faceless ponies are all wearing fancy clothing.
Wait a minute, am I…?
You look from the mannequins, to where you were sleeping and see a very familiar fainting couch.
Well that settles it, I’m in Carousal Boutique. Now the question is why? Rarity seems like the last pony to let me crash at her place.
You then spy a vanity mirror and check yourself out. You are still ripped like an Eternian, but your Moon poncho (now a little tighter on you) is a much better look. Somehow, the purple boots seem to compliment it.
Looking good man. Looking Real Good, you flex and giggle. Now if only I was a few shades bluer…
Suddenly the lights turn on.
"Why good morning Mr. Skeletor, I thought I heard you awaken," comes her sing song voice. You look behind you and see the fashionista… and she has on a hard hat with a headlamp on it.
Wait a second, you do a double take.
“Good thing too, Spike will be here any moment,” she says as she trots over to you, a pick axe and shovel sticking out of her saddlebags which makes your eyes widen.
“Anyway, after yesterday’s events, none of the other girls could watch over you, so instead I came up with a solution. You see, Spike and I are going gem hunting today, far away from other ponies, and we were hoping you would accompany us?”
Are you kidding me? How is this happening already? You ramble as the implications hit you. Dog Orc things are coming.
Denneylaw’s Comment
How long have I been out? We had Poison Joke shenanigans yesterday and the day before, so when did Sapphire Shores show up? I mean, I know I don’t hang out with Rarity often, but why are these episodes being smooshed together and out of order?
You then look as the fashionista examines two bows to put around her helmet.
And did she just volunteer to watch me just to do menial labor? I know I’m buff now, but jeeze lady, at least let me get used to this form!
MagicLover2128's Comment
As you continue to curse at what has happened to you so far, you realize something.
Wait…If I help her avoid being captured by the Diamond Dogs, then maybe she’ll be so grateful that she’ll finally design me some new clothes! My poncho is tighter and my whities are on their last leg. This is perfect!
The thought of fresh, clean clothes brings a smile to your face, but then you pause in your mini celebration as you realize what this may do for your relationship with Spike.
Aw crud, if I’m the one to save Rarity then Spike might resent me. When she saved herself it didn’t hit him hard, but this might make him think I’m gunning for her.
After shaking off that disgusting mental image, you think more about how besides Pinkie and Gilda, Spike’s really the only other friend you’ve got here. Another factor to consider is that hurting him may be detrimental in learning this world’s stupid gobble-dee-goop language.
Dammit! you mentally scream as you grab your head in frustration at the new dilemma to consider.
Why can't things be simple like in Tell Tale games!? Either a good choice or a bad one would make things so much easier! I’m already doing the silent option by default anyway!
Rarity, noticing your distressed actions sighs before saying,
"Oh come now darling, it won't be that bad. I actually find it rather fun looking for gems and jewels, it’s like my own little mini-adventure. Having you and Spike come along would make it slightly more different than usual, but in a good way...I hope."
Not hearing that last bit you calm down slightly.
Oh cool character development! Wait no, focus on the task at hand. I mean sure this could be a chance to get in Rarity's better graces and maybe see some undiscovered traits of her character, but....
BrownDog's Comment
You are reluctant, very very reluctant to go, because your road map for episodes is out of order.
I mean, maybe it's just one of their non Diamond Dog related gem trips. Just a day of getting shiny income...It could happen.
But the more practical side of you knows better.
Okay, first Poison Joke, then Diamond Dogs, and Parasprites are still coming at the end of the week! Is that stupid Dragon going to show up in the next few days as well?!...Oh who am I kidding, of course he will. Well that is one trip I am not taking. No friggen way!
Rarity notices your dour expression and tries to assure you of the potentials of the trip.
"Mr. Skeletor, it actually is rather fun. I have a spell for locating hidden gems, and Spike has a natural scent and can dig like no other." You give her a reluctant look and she puts on a thinking face.
"How about this? If you come with us and help me get say, three wagonfuls of gems, I will create clothing for you." Your eyes brighten at that.
Oh Hell Yes! I don't even care if we run into Diamond Dogs, I need some new underwear and something besides this poncho. In fact...
You whip out your notepad and flip to one of your many, many drawings of your true self and point at it. Rarity of course, seems very disturbed by the image.
"You want me to make you this outfit? But it's hardly anything more than boots, undergarments and what can loosely be called a vest and hood," she whimpers. You steel your eyes and point at the Skeletor outfit pointedly.
"I...Okay, make it 4 wagonfuls of gems and you have a deal," she reluctantly caves and you fist pump.
Hell Yeah! One step closer!
"As for this mask though, I'm afraid that's not my department. You will have to find that elsewhere," she explains pointing to the boney face.
Curses! For every step forward, I take two back.
"I can't let anyone know it was me that created such travesties," Rarity mumbles under her breath before looking back to you with a smile. "Anyway, today should be a fun day. The fields hold no real dangers," she assures you.
Pursing your lips, you flip to a blank page and are about to have a 'vision' of Diamond Dogs, but you hold off.
If this is the Diamond Dog episode, I shouldn't really stop it should I? It's one of the funniest episodes. I don’t need to save Rarity to get clothes now, and she’ll be fine. Besides, the dogs are pretty harmless, and I'm jacked up with muscle now. Those flea brained fools couldn't match with me. Then, a sudden realization comes to you and your mouth falls open.
They are big, dumb, and hairy. Just like Beast Man! If I play my cards right, I can have my very own Beast Man this day! Then I can order him around, and berate him for his foolishness, and send him on missions to attack He-Man!
You start bouncing around giddily and Rarity takes it that you're excited to go.
"Well, someone seems enthusiastic," she smirks.
Oh you have no idea Marshmallow Pone, you then write in your notepad under your many side quests, and put a star next to it.
-Acquire Diamond Dog (Beast Man) Minion
You can't keep the manic smile off your lips as the idea of having an actual Beast Man starts to settle in your mind. Rarity, no doubt slightly perturbed by your smile, chuckles awkwardly.
"Hehehehe…Well I glad you’re so excited about this. Honestly this will be a good experience for the both of us."
Rarity's suddenly sincere tone manages to snap you out of your thoughts as you look at her in confusion.
"I will admit that I haven't exactly been the most...pleasant towards you these last few days,” she admits with a sigh. “Even though you did try to warn me about Rainbow's prank I still treated you harshly. So I'm hoping that having you accompanying me and Spike will allow me to get to know you better, and perhaps make up for my rather uncouth treatment of you."
You blink at Rarity slightly before smiling warmly.
Awww, that means a lot Rarity. Nice to know I haven’t completely messed up my chances with befriending you.
However before you could convey your thoughts in any way, there is a sudden knocking coming from Rarity's front door.
"Oh that must be Spike! Come along Mr. Skeletor, it’s time we make way to the Gem Fields!" she says with a smile.
Your eyebrow raises slightly at the name as you think,
Gem Fields? Kinda on the nose there huh Hasbro? Then again, this show was made for little girls...
Shaking off that line of thought you follow Rarity out of the Boutique, where you see Spike standing by five or six different wagons with a few chests in them.
Geeze Rarity, expecting a big haul today? You think raising an eyebrow.
However, another thing that takes your immediate notice is that a lot of the nearby ponies have stopped what they’re doing and have begun to stare at you. Some of them in awe, and most of them with a mix of cautiousness and fear.
Aw man, this sucks! You wince slightly at their looks. All of these stares…Jeeze. Guess I know how Naruto felt with all the villagers judgemental stares. After thinking this you realize that the comparison doesn’t sit well with you.
I swear, if they start going all 'fear and antagonize' the unknown like those douchebags, this Skeletor’s gonna have to whoop some ass!
Shaking off that thought process before you start coming up with countermeasures to such a situation (too late) you think,
Man I just hope nothing draws their attention to me even more than usual.
Of course the universe seemingly heard your thought and decided to mess with you.
"Oh hey Skeletor! Twilight wasn't kidding when she said you changed. I almost didn't recognize you! You are freaking buff!" Spike says in awe.
And like that every pony nearby takes a good couple steps away from you and your new massive form. This only causes you to sigh dejectedly as Spike chuckles nervously.
"Hehehehe....oops?"
You are sooooo lucky you’re my only reliable means of learning your written language...and that your one of the few people here who isn't scared of me….And that you give me Ice Cre-The Point Is! If you weren't you'd be having one hell of a prank day!
Noticing your slightly annoyed look Spike just continues to chuckle awkwardly till Rarity says,
"Well now, I do believe we're wasting daylight! Come along you two, those gems aren't going to discover themselves!"
Rolling your eyes you grab the handle of two of the wagons and begin to follow Rarity, while Spike grabs his own wagon and follows after the two of you. As you walk you start to realize something.
KingPotato's Comment
After you've finished the outfit of your true form, you’re going to have to somehow make yourself blue.
The clothes and eventual mask will be easy, but how exactly do you change skin pigment?
You do have a idea or two, but they're not exactly the smartest of plans you have. In fact they're not even that good, but considering most of your bad ideas have worked out for you in the past...
I guess this idea could work, what with my new Eternian body I should have very little chance of dying...hopefully. Anyway the only way I can think of making my skin blue is either some dye, or hypothermia.
You think for a good solid couple of seconds before coming to a conclusion.
Strong bod or not, shivering my balls off in the cold doesn’t sound fun at all. The only place cold enough would be the arctic, and for all I know Smokey the badly designed horse might appear early. No, I'm gonna need a good couple tons of blue dye and a big enough tub if I want this to work. It’s not like being blue can make these small horses more afraid of me.
You look out over the citizens as you walk and their stares just bleed fear and anxiousness.
All I yelled was “Nyeh” after you guys were douches, and you act like I’m the bad guy? You think as their looks start to make you more and more uncomfortable. Spike, taking notice of this, decides to distract you from the stares.
BrownDog's Comment
"So hey, Skeletor. Did you know that Twilight is super confused about your voice?" You send Spike a questioning look at that.
What, the fact that I don't have one or that the only thing I can say is Nyeh?
"Yeah, she can't wrap her head around why the only thing you can say is that 'Nyeh' sound you made back when you were trying help Trixie out. She wanted to do some magical scanning or something like that with you yesterday to figure out why, but Pinkie stopped her. Something about how 'Skelly is all tuckered out and she should let him have his rest.'" You smile fondly at that.
Thanks Pinks. I've already been through enough of Twilight's experiments for awhile, plus knowing her she might go a little overboard if her first test doesn't find anything...again.
"Really Twilight's kinda been confused on how you can't speak in general. I mean you can understand us pretty well, and according to her you have 'average intelligence,' whatever that means, so you should be able to speak."
Average intelligence my ass! You roll your eyes. I'm at least slightly below average intelligence thank you very much. Wait… Your confusing self-deprecation aside, Rarity decides to join in on the conversation
"Personally darling I always thought it was some sort of potion you may have drunk. But not even Zecora has never heard of one that could cause your voice to be, well, voiceless aside from one sound."
“Nyehhh,” you sigh in dejection.
So not even Zecora knows why my voice is like this huh? Just what the heck caused this? Will I ever get my voice back completely, or am I gonna have to speak in 'Nyehs' for the rest of my life? Noticing your dejected look Spike puts a scaled hand on your leg to try and comfort you.
"Hey don't worry big guy, I'm sure we’ll figure out what's wrong with your voice eventually. Remember, Princess Celestia is coming to town soon, so maybe she found some things out since the whole 'Nightmare Moon' incident."
Oh Joy, the Princess is coming, you think in melancholy. And she’s gonna hear how I’m the most horrifying thing in the freaking world and probably stone me.
"Hey, I know things may look a little bad man, but don't worry. When it comes down to it, I'll be by your side 100%. You can count on me!" he replies, trying to cheer you up. His enthusiasm does get you to smile and you give his head a rub.
Dang man, that actually managed to cheer me up a little bit. Why don’t the writers show this cool side of you more often?
"Aha! We're here!"
You blink in surprise at Rarity's sudden declaration as you look around, and you see that you are indeed in a dirt field quarry, away from civilization.
Dang, either cartoon logic is at work here or time flies when a dragon it comforting you.
...
Whelp, that's going on the list of things I never thought I'd say-er think.
Oblivious to your thoughts Rarity takes a deep breath and exhales dramatically.
"Ah...the smell of soon to be gorgeous gems and jewels on my next fashion line! Skeletor, take this pickaxe and work on that formation over there, I detected a few just now. Spike, can you be a dear and follow me?"
And like that Spike goes from 'cool bro' mode to 'lovesick idiot' as he starts to literally float off after Rarity with hearts in his eyes.
Ah, now I remember why. He can be pretty funny when the writers don't make him a total idiot.
With that thought you make your way over to the pickaxe Rarity left you. You pick up the tool which looks like it was designed for either a child or one of the 7 Dwarves.
Everything is tiny in this world. Heck, even these Diamond Dogs are going to come up to stomach level if I’ve done my math right.
You twirl the tiny Pick Axe in your big meaty hands and walk over to the rock cropping Rarity pointed out. You look from it, and back towards the Dragon and Pony who are off digging up their own haul. You sigh at the extremely happy grin on Spike’s face.
Denneylaw's Comment
Tartarusbound's Comment
Spike's been a major bro to me, and yet here I am with nothing to show my good bro-ness to him. Well time to change that!
With that thought you decide to save Spike from the embarrassment of coming off as a babbling idiot to the others when he inevitably has to run for help. To do so you decide to draw out what will happen with the Dogs. You take out your notepad and get to work.
Eventually you get to the part where the Diamond Dogs show up, and you get a little stuck on how to properly explain them.
They aren’t really dangerous...but they are willing to enslave, so I’ll emphasize that. Better than showing Rarity technically stealing from them.
You draw Rarity getting dragged into a hole, and a picture of her wrapped with chains. While it's not quite how things happen, it would show that nobody could protect her.
You then fold the pictures up and place them in Spike’s Wagon without him noticing.
There, that should make things roll quicker. By the end of the day, she’ll have her wagons of gems and I’ll have my outfit ordered. It's not like she would refuse service out of spite. That would just be…petty.
You pause after that thought for a good couple of seconds before shaking it off and thinking,
Nah she wouldn't do that, she's trying to treat me better after all.
You then return to the rock quarry with your pickaxe and take a swing.
GotThisToLikeStorys's Comment
Greatness942's Comment
Unfortunately, your newly acquired strength breaks the tool in your hands.
You know maybe I should have done some strength training before trying this out? I knocked out Pinkie with a pat for God’s sake, you cringe as you stare at the now shattered digging implement.
With the only means of continuing your work destroyed you wonder how else you are going to get those gems. You need those gems for your new clothes. You need them.
You are Skeletor, He-Man's mortal enemy and nothing will ever be able to keep you away from your awesome outfit, and you mean nothing.
Your fists curl in determination as you stare at the offending wall of dirt and rock.
I kicked through a concrete wall, so let’s see if my fisticuffs work just as well.
You wind up your arm and throw forth a mighty right hook, and to your amazement, the rock begins to shatter.
Oh boy, things just got interesting! You mentally squee as you let your fists fly.
ORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!!! You chant Star Platinum’s punching mantra in your head. More and more of the rock cracks.
In fact you get so lost in your chanting that you neglect the fact that you’re supposed to be gathering gems. You just keep punching and punching with the stand cry playing in your head. You are brought out of it though by a cry of worry.
“Skeletor! What the hay are you doing?!” Spike cries out.
You pause and turn around to the Dragon who looks horrified. You grin and give him a thumbs up…only to realize that your hand is bleeding profusely.
Wha-Huh? You blather as you look at both of you hands. Only then do you see that they are cut to all hell, and even bits of rock are sticking out of them. As your eyes fall on this, your brain finally registers the pain and you shriek.
“NNNNYYYEEEHHH!!!” you cry out in pain as your hands drip with red and Spike starts to freak out.
“Rarity! Rarity! We need some bandages ASAP!”
“Oh My Goodness!” Rarity shouts as she sees you fall to your knees, regarding your hands in pain and confusion.
B-But how? I was actually making a dent in the thing! I kicked through concrete yesterday! I don’t…You then realize what’s changed since yesterday.
The Cure! I drank it to keep the body, but I cured something else! I have the strength, but I don’t have THE POWER!!! You grit your teeth at this cruel irony.
Curse You He-Man! Giving me only a taste of the power of Grey Skull! I will claim it again one day! I will-
*SPLASH*
You look down at your hands and see that Rarity has used her magic to pull slivers of rocks out of your cut up hands, and has also dumped nearly half a bottle of Rubbing Alcohol on them.
You look from her, then to your hands and back before you let loose.
“NNNNNYYYYYYEEEEEEHHHHH!!!”
“Hold still Skeletor, we need to wrap those up,” the fashionista insists, while you run around in circles, screaming your pain to the heavens.
SOME TIME LATER
With the combined efforts of the dragon and unicorn, they were able to bandage your hands. The bleeding has stopped, and your fists look like you’re ready to enter a bare knuckle boxing match.
“Now that your wounds have been tended to Mr. Skeletor, do you mind explaining why in Celestia’s name you did that?” Rarity scolds.
“Nyeh…” you shrug solemnly.
“Oh don’t give me that,” she huffs. “I gave you a perfectly good pickaxe now where is it?”
“Nyeh!” you point to the shattered tool and she sighs and facehooves.
“I don’t get it Rarity, didn’t you say he kicked through the jail wall?” Spike asks.
“Yes Spike, but that was a smooth surface, these rocks are jagged. It doesn’t matter how strong you are.”
It would have if I still had that Power, you huff and cross your arms.
Rarity sighs and says,
“Listen, why don’t you rest for a bit. Spike and I can gather enough for the day, then we can go home and get those looked at."
You spring up at that declaration.
NO! I can’t quit now! I need my outfit!
“Skeletor, you can’t keep going. You’ve injured your claws and-“
You quickly take her pickaxe from her and go over to the rocks that are stained with your blood. As gently as you can, you begin picking away at the rocks.
Should’ve just done this instead of jumping the gun I guess. It’s much safer than-
*CRACK*
The wall crumbles before you and you fall headlong into a cavern.
Oh Hai Falling, I’ve missed you not!
“Nnnnnyyyyyyeeeeehhhh!!!” You shout as you fall through the darkness.
“Skeletor!” Spike and Rarity call out in alarm.
As you fall, your eyes adjust to the dim light, and you gasp in amazement as you see that you are falling straight into a mountain of gems and gold.
Holy Crap that’s a lot of moola! Time to Scrooge McDuck this! You think giddily as you form your body into a diving position…
*CRASH*
OOOOOOWWWWWWW!!! You anguish as you hit the horde hard and start bouncing painfully down it’s side. When you reach the bottom of the pile you groan and hold yourself. Without your muscled body, you’d probably be dead, but even still, that fall hurt like hell.
Oooohhhh…Why? Why can’t cartoon logic ever work for me? You whine as you gingerly feel your pained body. You don’t appear to have broken anything thankfully, but you do think you’ll bruise up nicely.
“Skeletor! Are you Okay?!” Spike’s voice comes from up above.
“Nyeh,” you grunt, since it’s the only thing you can answer with.
“Alright good, just hang tight Skeletor, we’ll get you help,” Rarity says.
Get me help? But you’re supposed to be the one in distress, you groan as you sit up.
Well great, I guess I’ve royally screwed this episode up. You then look at the giant pile of wealth in front of you. But maybe I can still buy my clothes…
Pulling yourself to your feet, you take inventory of the many different gems. Rubies, emeralds, diamonds, amethysts, and onyx all shine brightly, filling the room with a brilliant glow.
A Diamond Dog stockpile? you think to yourself, smirking. NYEHHAHAHA! Excellent! Now all I have to do is wait for those pony fools to bring me a rope and I’ll be rich!
As you explore around the giant pile of jewels, you come across something pretty epic.
WHAT?!
On an ornate pedestal, carved out of a stalagmite, rests an ancient looking skeleton of some kind. In it’s chest, is a very familiar and unique looking arrow.
T-The Stand Arrow? You gasp as you lift the projectile from it’s resting place. There’s no denying it, with it’s fancy intricate carvings, and your inherent knowledge of the show, this is the arrow that grants stands.
I-I don’t…Finally! Finally I can have a Stand. I don’t even have to jury rig one! The solution just fell into my lap…or rather I fell, but still! You hold the arrow aloft in the dim light to get a better look, and you pause.
In order to get a Stand, I gotta stab myself with this, but if I don’t have the potential I’ll end up dying. With that thought, you decide to pocket the arrow and save it for later.
Too dangerous, even for Skeletor, you muse, When the time is right, I will gain my Stand. But for right now, I'll keep this in safe keeping. Hell, it might only look like the Stand Arrow and it’s something completely different, just like Grogar’s Staff looks like my precious Havoc Staff.
You sit down in the pile of gems and twirl the arrow in your wrapped fingers.
I mean, aside from still not knowing how I got here or why I can’t speak, I still have canon events, Lyra’s quest, and Celestia in general to deal with. Much too busy to stab myself and potentially die. In fact, I’ll bring this up to the Princess when she arrives, maybe her curiosity will save me from stoning. If anyone can appraise this and tell me if it’s real, it’s her.
And thus, you add a new log to your notebook:
Quest: Skeletal Purple: Appraise the Stand Arrow-like object.
With that jolted down you go to stick the Arrow in your poncho pocket…when you notice something odd about it.
On the very tip of the arrow you notice a crusty red stain of some kind. You look at the rib cage on the pedestal and shudder
Some poor bastard tried to stab himself or was shot and wasn’t worthy. Well that ain’t gonna happen to m…Wait a second, this isn’t blood.
Upon closer examination with your finger nail you realize it’s not ancient blood. Instead it’s a really old...pizza stain?
That doesn't make sense. Why would an ancient arrow have a pizza stain on it? And why...does it...look....so...famil-UGH!
Suddenly your head feels like it’s being assaulted by a thousand drums. Over and over again in the same four beat pattern that even itself seems familiar. You drop the arrow and grip your head in pain as you struggle to think,
Wha...is...happ..ing?
Suddenly the pain vanishes and you’re left with a vivid image of your old room, specifically of a model of Keicho Nijimura - Bad Company holding the Stand bow and arrow. And on the tip of that arrow...a pizza stain.
But just as quickly as it appeared the sudden image vanishes and you are left gasping. You slowly start to stand, just now realizing that you fell to your knees during the whole experience. You bend down and pick up the Stand Arrow again and examine it more closely.
Could this be...but that would be impossible. It's the actual size of an arrow, and it’s been here for a long time if that skeleton is to go by anything. I just got here! Yet...the stain...
You stare at the tip of the arrow again before shaking your head and putting into your poncho.
It's just a coincidence, that's it. Yeah...that's it.
Even as you think that, you know there’s something more you’re not catching, but before you can try to ponder more, a blood curdling shout of,
“NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” echoes from the ceiling above you.
Was that Spike? Why would he be- Oh Right. Diamond Dogs kidnapping Rarity…Damn they work quickly.
You can't help but let out an airy sigh as you think,
You know universe, was it too much to ask for this to be a non-canon event?
Sighing once again you look at the Stand arrow in your hand and you think,
Swat's Comment
I should probably strap this thing somewhere safe where those dogs can't see it. Don't wanna accidently give a Beast Man the powers to defeat me after all! Well that and I'm pretty sure Celestia wouldn't like a super powered Diamond Dog running around either.
With that thought you begin to look around for anything that you could use as a strap for the arrow, but you’re outta luck as all that surrounds you is gold and gems.
Really? Not a single piece of cloth or anything like that? Well there goes my chances of pulling off a heroic 'get out of jail free if you’re the chosen one' scenario if I got captured. Now what do I do with this thing? I don't exactly wanna leave it behind.
It is at this point you notice that your poncho, newly tightened as it may be, still has extra length to it. You stare at it for a good couple seconds before taking a deep sigh and thinking,
Sacrifices must be made. Forgive me my awesome moon poncho!
With that thought you...
MagicLover2128's Comment
Quickly tear a portion of your tunic off, as much as you can and not ruin it further than it is, then wrap the Stand Arrow into a sort of pouch which you then stuff and strap to your waist. You also use the edge of the bag to give the end of the arrow a quick wipe to clean it of the pizza stain.
As much as you feel like the pizza stain has some sort of connection to...something you know that Diamond dogs are, well, dogs. And if there's anything Animal Planet has taught you is that dogs can smell pretty good. You don't want them picking up any scents while you’re trying to sneak attack them.
Though as ancient as it is would it even smell? Better safe than sorry I suppose. Speaking of scents, when’s the last time I took a bath?
GotThisToLikeStorys's Comment
This seemingly out of nowhere thought, which being honest isn't that unusual for you, makes you ponder.
I mean, I remember going to the spa but I never really did take a shower for the last couple days being in prison, except for when the sink water sprayed all over me. That counts right? I doubt I smell too ba-urk!
While you were thinking you decided to take a quick whiff of your pits and well...let's just say that stink bomb you made in the fifth grade smelt better than you.
Ugh! I smell like a sweaty muscle head that forgot to change his socks for over a year! There's no way those dogs won't smell me coming a mile away.
Sighing dejectedly at this fact, you decide that if you’re gonna stealth you're gonna have to do it fast before the Diamond Dogs can react.
Now I just need one more thing before I can start looking for Rarity...
With that thought you...
Jaro45's Comment
BrownDog's Comment
Start to search the treasure pile for a pair of gauntlets in your size. You may not have THE POWER anymore, and your hands are still tender, but combine your strength with good armor, and you can punch your way into a vault. Made of tanks.
You momently stop searching as the image of Skeletor punching through a wall of tanks leaves you so awestruck that you are physically unable to move or do anything else till the image fades from your mind.
The G.I. Joes wouldn’t have shit on me! Eat your heart out Cobra Commander, Nyehahahaha...
...
Yeah, you are far to obsessed with Skeletor.
Anyway you go back to your search for looking for some you-sized gauntlets. After a few minutes of searching you do find an armored glove of sorts. It’s only for a left hand/claw/paw/whatever, and only really protects your knuckles, but it will have to do as you have this nagging feeling that you've wasted too much time. But of course this doesn't stop you from laughing loud and long while holding up your new weapon to the sky.
Time to show these inferior Beast Man that they should fear the might of Skeletor! I will strike terror into their craven, yellow hearts! And then they shall all bow to me, and serve the mighty Skeletor! Nyehehehehehe!
After a few more minutes of laughing you calm down enough to actually put the gauntlet on, and when you do, it’s a tight fit.
With that thought you take one last look around the Diamond Dog stash to see if there's anything else that might be able to help you before you start looking for Rarity. It is as you look that you notice something...
BrownDog's Comment
You spot a little alcove off to the side. You notice that there's a trail leading from it to the pedestal where you found the Stand arrow. Getting curious you think,
Weird...but there might be something over there that can help me. Might as well check it out.
With that thought you make your way over to the alcove. Inside, you see what looks like an ancient cave painting, like something out of Neanderthal times. It shows what looks like a bipedal figure, garbed in blue, with long yellow hair, holding the arrow, with a rainbow above her head.
Your mouth drops at this sight.
Is...is that Megan? you flip open your notebook to the map with X's that you'd copied from Twilight's notebook. You can't be sure if it matches up or not though because you have no frame of reference.
I...I gotta look into this more. Something is... You trail off as in the dim light, you spy a metal plaque at the bottom of the painting, and in it is scrawled words. English words.
Number 3 of 6. Will you find them all? Will you find me? It reads.
You look in shock from the plaque to the picture and back.
Okay, this mystery just deepened...I'll have to get back to this though, maybe with Twilight or someone. I've got a Beast Man to acquire. And I have to save Rarity to maybe…but she can handle herself.
You then reluctantly turn your back on the painting and make your way through the caverns, but not before quickly jolting down the vague message down in your notebook.
Note to self, begin making specific sections in notebook. I'm going to lose track of all this stuff if I don't, or worse I'll accidently show off one of my 'predictions' without meaning too.
As you walk out of the alcove you head over to what you presume is the actual entrance to the Diamond Dog stockpile. As you exit the area you realize that it would probably be for the best if you knew your way back here.
Whatever that Megan stuff is, I have to be able to find it again. There might be more to find…
Of course to do this you grab a sharp rock from the floor and test it on the walls. You make a short ‘x’ symbol with an arrow pointing forward.
There, just have to do that at every corner or every few yards and that should be good.
You continue to make markings along the walls every 10 steps or so as you start to figure out a map in your head you travel through the cave system. Though it would be more accurate to describe it as a mineshaft as you see support pillars all over the place, as well as empty wagons and rail carts.
Gotta give those Beast Ma-Diamond Dog's credit. They may be really dumb, but they sure do know how to create a stable tunnel system.
A few more minutes go by before you come across five different tunnel entrances.
Oh come on! Ugh, well guess it’s time for the age old adage of 'Eeny, meeny, miny, moe'. Let's see...
And so you begin the process of randomly picking a tunnel to go through. However just as you’re about to select one you suddenly hear Rarity's voice echo from the far left tunnel,
"Thiis is Whiiininggg!!!"
Welp, guess I know where she is. Heh, she’s already onto annoying them, so I’ve been wandering around down here for awhile.
You make your way down the tunnel and soon you spot the group of anthropomorphic dog orc things. You duck down and try and hide behind a large boulder that is situated in front of one of the open passageways to the large cavern, and sure enough you see Rarity and the Diamond Dogs going through the whining gag.
But there is one difference...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF THEM! AND WHAT THE HELL ARE SOME OF THEM EATING TO GET THAT JACKED!?
It's true, there are far more Diamond Dogs than there were in the original episode, and some of them are almost as roided out as you are. You do have height on them, as your earlier calculations were correct, they only come up to your chest, but still their numbers alone make that a moot point.
And they have spears! I forgot they had those in the episode, you bemoan as you see many of them holding onto the Medieval weapons.
Even with their weapons though, Rarity’s whining makes them focus on their ears more than anything. Especially the main three leaders, Rover, Spot and Fido who look like they are in pain.
Okay...so it looks like cartoon logic is in play and soon she’ll have them eating out of her hooves. I should just sit this one out, because there are far too many of them. I just have to sneak back the way I came. Thankfully they’re all so smelly that I don’t even register.
And even as you think that, you notice one of the two guard dogs in front of the tunnel begins sniffing the air, despite holding his ears from Rarity’s voice. The guard on the left slowly starts turning his head.
Crap!
Denneylaw's Comment
Kersey's Comment
Without time to think, and with a quick prayer that cartoon logic is on your side for once, you quickly smack the dog on the right side of his head...with the hand not wearing the gauntlet.
OW! Dang it I thought you would be healed by now! You groan as you clutch your hand in pain. Stupid, useless, roided out body!
While you were distracted by your own pain, the dog you hit grabs his own head in pain and surprise before glaring at the guard dog next to him. He proceeds to growl gibberish that the other dog understands. At least you think he understands, the other dog is suddenly giving a glare to his compatriot.
Wait, what was that? How come I can't understand th-oh! Your eyes widen and your inner Twilight appreciation kicks in, Maybe that was their native tongue or something! That's so cool! There are other languages here besides English, or whatever it is that sounds English to me. This is so co-Wait no focus and hide befo-
"HEY! What That Thing!"
Sadly for you while you were absorbed in the awe of discovering a new language (to you at least) the two guards in front of you had gotten into a fight. This would be good, if their fight hadn't drawn the attention of the other dogs in the room as well as the fact that they were the only ones blocking you from being seen. Now your burly form is in view of everyone.
Even Rarity stops whining and looks over at you in shock.
“Mr. Skeletor is that you?” she asks.
Crap! Keep Whining Rarity! Keep Whining! You panic, but it’s too late, you’ve drawn all the focus (aside from the two dogs fighting in front of you.)
"Who!? What is tall biped doing here!?" asks Spot, the little dog.
“It taller than me!” Fido, the large one adds.
“No matter,” Rover the red vested one says, “It get pony to stop whining! This good for everyone! Bring it so she shut up!”
You gulp slightly at all the dogs look at you like you’re some kind of useful weapon.
Snap out of it! You are Skeletor, and the mighty Skeletor is not afraid of the dumb Beast Man and his multiple slightly buffer copies!
With that thought you look Rover right in the eye and…
Sunbro4life's Comment
Denneylaw's Comment
Raise your arms with a mighty war cry!
"NYEHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The Diamond Dogs are caught off from your sudden shout, which is all you need as you run for your life back down the tunnel.
“After that thing before Pony Whine Again!” Rover orders.
“But I thought you liked Whiiiinnniiinnngg!!!” Rarity starts up, much to their jargon. That still doesn’t stop several of the Beast Men from chasing you though.
Damn It! Of all the times to not have the Havoc Staff!
Once you reach the five tunnel intersection, you take the middle most one and try to hide. The group of dogs look at the tunnels, and in their weird speech, they split up, with 2 of them heading your way.
AH! No time to run. Ora! You swing with your gauntleted left hand this time…only instead of hitting the lead dog, your arm catches inside his vest.
“Aroo?” the dog makes a dumb confused noise as the other one stops momentarily in confusion.
Oh crap, oh crap! What do I do?!
You try to get out but it’s no use, and you don't have too much time as the other dog snaps out of his daze and rushes you.
Thinking quickly you move to the side, causing the dog whose vest you’re caught in to take your place as he receives a punch in the gob. Not letting the offending dog get a chance to realize what just happened you turn back around and punch him with your non-gauntlet hand.
This of course hurts like hell, but you ignore it in favor of surviving a doggy beat down.
Nyehehehehe! Thank you oh mighty Stooges for teaching me the art of whacky fighting! Also owwww....
You massage your even more injured hand, and after checking it your glad it hasn't started bleeding again. After checking your hand you gingerly pick up their spears and break the blades off of them so they won’t have anything to stab you with when they wake up.
Alright, I dodged a bullet-er-spear there. I think maybe I’ll just hang out with the gem pile and wait for this whole thing to blow over.
And with that you creep your way back down your marked trail, or you try to anyway, as you are currently hauling one of the Diamond Dogs on your shoulders.
Urg! You’re gonna regret those extra pounds later Beastman, when you’re redecorating my new lair!
Maybe not the smartest thing, hauling a heavy bipedal dog creature when others are looking for you, but if there’s one thing you are, it’s determined…and insane. Mostly insane.
Greatness942's Comment
You hobble to the gem pile thanks to the markings you left throughout the tunnel system, and thankfully, no dogs have found you.
Alright, Take a rest Beast Man you heavy asshole, you think as you shrug the dog off of your shoulders and onto the gem pile.
Woo! You fan yourself and wipe the sweat from your brow. That took a lot out of me.
You sit yourself down next to the dog and take a breather while you wait for the main characters to come and find you.
After awhile, the Dog comes around, and they groggily look around, so you stand up in front of them and their eyes widen.
Good morning sunshine, your new master says hello, you smile smugly. The dog starts looking around themselves, and a strange expression comes across their face.
Heh, the next thing you’ll say is “Puny Biped, this is our take!” you think before pointing to them, but then something unexpected happens, the dog starts whining in fear.
“No, no no! This Bad! So Bad!”
“Nyeh?” you ask and the dog winces and scrambles away from the pile.
“Dogs not touch! Dogs not supposed to touch pile! It not belong to us!” they stutter.
As they say this, the pedestal where you grabbed the Stand arrow begins to glow and the rib cage on it begins to rattle.
“No, no! I not bad dog! I swear!” your Beastman pleads with some unseen force.
Okay, just what the Hell is going o-
Your jaw drops and your thought peters out as you see bones floating out of the gem pile, and attaching themselves to the torso, forming a perfect Diamond Dog skeleton with red eyes, holding a boney sword and shield.
I…Huh?
The skeleton ignores you however, and starts walking menacingly down the gem pile and towards your acquired Beastman.
“No please! It not my fault! Please!” they beg in abject fear.
OH I DON’T THINK SO! you challenge the thing as you step between it and the Diamond Dog. The living skeleton looks to you, sizing you up.
This is my Beast Man, go get your own you bumbling batch of bones!
“NYEH!!!” you shout putting your fists up and the skeletons eyes glow brighter.
As you and the Skeledog stare each other down you can't help but wonder just what deity you pissed off to cause you so much trouble.
It's as if an entire universe is actively trying to make my life hell or something!
CroisSunnyPlay's Comment
Really, you seem to be running into a ton of problems lately. A skele-ton. Bad jokes aside, of which you're really hoping won't turn you into a mix of Sans and Skeletor later, you have another of your random thoughts.
I have been stupid! This isn't a badly written show, it's a badly written show trying to be a game! All of those difficulties to escape and the random happenings make so much more sense that way! And if my theory is correct, then this must be a mini-boss! You look behind you at your newly acquired Beast Man with a scowl. Damn it Beast Man, it's your fault that I haven't seen that sooner! You must have been long distance impairing my thoughts! Curse you!
However, despite your long mental tangent, the skeleton in front of you still seems to have a... Bone to pick with you.
...
No! I will not turn into Sans! This is your fault Beast Man! Nyyyyeeeeehhhhh!
You raise your arms in the air as per usual during your rants, which probably wasn't the brightest idea since it signals the Skeledog to attack you! It lets out another creepy chuckle before it charges at you.
Master of Shadows's Comment
Oh crap what do I do? What do I d-wait a minute! Maybe since I was able to predict that the skeleton was gonna laugh, maybe I can predict the rest of its actions too! Yeah, I'll pull off a classic Joseph maneuver!
Getting into a defensive position you study the charging Skeledog. Noticing it raising it’s sword arm to strike you think,
Okay it looks like He's gonna swipe with his sword! Now that I know that I can prepare a counter attack!
With that you prepare to block the sword swipe with your gauntlet, but just as it’s about to swing it’s sword at you, it suddenly stops mid-swing and punches you in the face.
The punch takes you off guard and sends you tumbling to the ground, groaning in pain.
Okay, clearly I should just stick with guessing people’s words. Damn do bones hurt!
You scramble to your feet and prepare to block whatever attack is coming next...only to notice that the Skeledog is completely ignoring you and is making it’s way towards your Beast Man. This of course pisses you off as no one ignores the mighty Skeletor in the middle of a battle!
Hey bonehead! Don't you ignore m-Wait a second...
BrownDog's Comment
You suddenly realize that the reason the Skeledog is ignoring you is because it's real target is the Diamond Dog, and it appears it merely saw you as a obstacle to its true objective. Why else would it only punch you out of the way and not finish you off?
Nyeh! I can't allow this bumbler to kill my Beastman, I went through a lot of pain to get him!
Getting up quickly you tap the Skeledog on the shoulder. Thankfully cartoon logic is on your side (for once) and the Skeledog actually turns around to look at you in what you think is confusion. (Kinda hard to tell due to the lack of a face and all that).
Pushing the thought of if skeletons can actually emote for a later ramble you rear your gauntleted fist back and punch the bag of bones across the face while thinking in a French accent,
Did you forget about me!?
Your punch sends the Skeledog's skull spinning. Literally! It spins round and round on it’s shoulders.
You know that looks a lot funnier in cartoons than it does in real life. This is just creepy.
Eventually the Skeledog stops its spinning head by grabbing it with both its paws, causing it to face the wrong way. It then forces its skull around to face you with a sickening *crack* sound.
…Yup! A lot more creepy than in cartoons!
The Skeledog glares at you in annoyance, at least you think it does. The whole no face thing is really making it difficult to tell what this thing is thinking, but considering it is now attacking you again you can assume he’s annoyed. The undead diamond dog strikes at you with his sword and you block with your gauntlet, a metallic ringing sound results from the collision.
That's a good bag of bones, focus on the overly buff human and not the dog.
Said Diamond Dog has backed away from you two, but has not run away, seemingly captivated by the fight.
Get out of here Beast Man you blibbering boob! Otherwise Mr. Bones will take you on a wild ride to Hell! You motion for Beat Man to leave, but the dog still watches, shaking the whole time.
Just go you dumb-*CLANG*YA!
You are thrown off balance when the skeleton bashes you with the shield while you were distracted with your Beat Man.
Stupid Dog! You made me look bad!!! You grit your teeth and counter the follow up sword swing and punch the monster’s face. The sword is the biggest problem, but you keep blocking the strikes with your gauntleted hand and keep using 3 hit combos on the thing, despite your right hand screaming in pain. After awhile, you realize you need a better plan. The thing’s skull is cracking but it’s nowhere near the amount of damage you want especially considering your own hand feels like raw hamburger.
ORA! OW! ORA! OW! ORA! OW! Okay I need a new plan! Like right now!
Before you can think of anything you quickly deflect another sword strike, this time though you manage to knock its sword out of its hands and behind you. And facial expressions or not, you can see it look at it’s hand in shock.
Ha! Not so tough now without your toy huh? Well try this on for size!
Kersey's Comment
MemeologistAI's Comment
You go for another classic Stooge tactic and try to poke the skeleton in the eyes... Only to further hurt your cut up fingers in the skeleton’s hard sockets since it doesn’t have eyeballs.
Ah! Why do I keep using my bad hand?! You groan and shake the bandaged appendage as the Skeleton tilts it’s head at you. Fine, if the Stooges have failed me, then it’s time to fight dirty!
And with that, you go for a classic nard shot...
*Crunch*
OW!
You begin to jump around holding your injured foot as somehow even with your boots your toes still feel like they just kicked a really hard surface. Of course as you jump around holding your foot you realize that plan was doomed to fail seeing as how skeletons no longer have nards in which to kick.
Gah! Why didn't I pay more attention in anatomy class?! And why does this hurt so much, is it’s bones made of iron or something?! you berate yourself.
The Skeledog seems to have enough of your idiocy as it uppercuts you away from it. You soar through the air and land a few feet away from your opponent, who is making its way over to you.
You know for a dead guy you sure can punch hard, you think with a low airy groan.
Shaking your head to clear your thoughts you see the skeleton's sword near you. With the undead charging, you think quickly, grab the sword and...
Jaro45's Comment
Get up, and with a mighty war cry you charge. Not expecting this, the Skeledog leaves itself open, allowing you to stab the sword through its ribcages. It lets out a bark of shock, but you don't stop there, you keep charging forward till you stick it to the wall like a Hellish, horribly ugly butterfly. You then take your gauntlet hand and smash it's skull between the wall and your fist.
You do this a few more times before putting all your strength into one final smash! You can hear its skull crack as you think in a deep voice,
FATALITY!
The Skeledog falls silent, and you start to back off it while breathing deeply.
Oh thank god that things finally dead...again! Now to claim my Beast Man!
Turning around you spot the Diamond Dog that started this whole mess looking at you in awe. You can't help but cackle slightly at its awed look.
Yes! Bow down to the mighty Skeletor and bask in my glory!
Of course all bravado you had instantly disappears when you see the Diamond Dog's look go from awe to terror. Gulping slightly you start to slowly turn around.
Aw please don't tell me...
And sure enough the Skeledog is glaring at you in cold fury that you can somehow feel. It's busy trying to dislodge the sword from the wall and you know you only have a few seconds before it breaks free.
Shit! I need a new plan...come on come on think! Think! You panic and nervously look around the pile of treasure.
...
*Ding*
Suddenly gaining an idea you...
Denneylaw's Comment
Jaro45's Comment
Wait until the Skeledog rips its sword out of the wall, and by extension its body. It sends you a glare, which you can actually tell is a glare due to the cracks forming on its skull creating pseudo-eyebrows for it. You just send it a smug look and make a 'come at me' gesture. It howls in rage and charges at you, but just as it reaches you, you dodge to the side and grab one of it’s arms. Before it has time to react you rip the appendage off and proceed to smack it around with its own arm.
Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself. Why do you keep hitting yourself!?
And, as you let out a victorious laugh, the limb somehow turns around and hits you. You feel like you're gonna have a bad time.
Darn it, stop thinking of Sans! I already have a skel-ton of-NO!!! I need to get rid of this arm, now!
Thinking quickly you shake the limb in the skeleton dog's face, then throw it behind you. Thankfully it seems to fall for it and goes after its arm and, not wasting time, you begin to make a strategic retreat.
Okay clearly physical might alone isn't enough to defeat the magical skeleton dog thing. Time to get out of here and find Twilight so she can zap this thing to dust! Come on Beast Man, tonight we run to fight another day!
You scoop up the Diamond Dog as you run past it, causing it to let out a shocked "eep". You ignore this as you begin to run down the corridors following the markings you left.
Okay, all I have to do is get back to where they were holding Rarity and the girls will come to me. Then a little drawing for the Skeledog and we are in the cle-oof!
While you were lost in thought you ended up bumping into the other dazed Diamond Dog you knocked out, which causes you to drop Beast Man, and all three of you end up in a pile.
“Ooohhh, what hit?” the other dog grumbles holding it’s head.
“EYAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!” the skeleton laughs madly and you hear the unmistakable sound of shifting bones on stone.
Oh I do not have time for this!
Ororon35's Comment
You quickly grab the dazed Diamond Dog, who is much bulkier than your Beast Man, and turn around. The second your boney friend rounds the corner, you rush forward with a cry of,
“NNNYYYEEEHHH!!!” as you mentally scream,
I'M GONNA BEAT A MOTHERF**KER WITH ANOTHER MOTHERF**KER!!!
And you proceed to do just that by swinging the poor dog by it’s back legs into the skeleton. With no time to react from your bulky weapon, the Skeledog is struck and bursts apart into pieces. Dropping the now unconscious, and now probably severely concussed, Diamond Dog you wipe your brow and raise a fist into the air in triumph.
Huh, guess I was wrong. Blunt force trauma is the answer to everything! Go m-
Your thoughts are interrupted when you see the Skeledog's damaged bones start to shake before they begin flying back to its body slowly reform. None of the damage seems to be repaired, but its regaining its body.
Of course, it can reform after being blown apart. Why am I not surprised? You deadpan.
Sighing you pick up Beast Man once again and begin to blindly book it, accidently going down another tunnel instead of the one you marked towards Rarity. As you run you can hear the Skeledog begin to chase after you once again, so you start to pick up the pace. As you do your Beast Man asks you,
"Why you help Dig Dog? Dig Dog not important, just Dig Dog. So...why?"
Huh. Didn’t notice it’s voice was so light before…Ah well, I can get used to it. As long as it still speaks in dumb English, it’s a Beast Man through and through.
That random thought aside it’s not like you can just tell Beast Man that the only reason you’re helping is so that they can become your verbal punching bag and butt of your jokes, that's just rude after all. So instead you go with a simple shrug, which the dog interprets as,
"Just because?"
Sure lets go with tha-why is it suddenly way hotter than before?
Jaro45's Comment
Looking around you, and not noticing the look of admiration Beast Man is sending you, you find yourself in an orange tinted armory of some sort with spears and dog sized armor all over the place.
Weird, the only time you see an orange tinted armory is if ther-OH CRAP!
Ahead of you, you see a giant lake of magma spanning out as far as the eye can see. It's below you slightly, but it’s still close enough that you can feel the heat. Instead of questioning how so much magma can be this close to the surface, or how the Diamond Dogs make weapons using it, you are far more concerned with stopping yourself from becoming the next T1000.
Stop stop stop stop STOP!
Thankfully you come to a screeching halt just before entering the molten rock. Sighing in relief you turn around...only to see the SkeleDog staring you down from the entrance. In the orange light, you can see how severely damaged it is, with cracks and chunks of bone missing all over it, but apparently not enough for it to lay down and croak.
But definitely enough for it to be on its last legs!
Placing Beast Man down you shoe him out of the way of your final fight with the SkeleDog. The two of you stare each other down, each conveying that this will be the final round between the two of you. The staring goes on, and it doesn't look like it will ever end...till a bubble of lava suddenly pops! When it does you...
Treforce's Comment
Grab a spear off one of the nearby weapon racks and throw it at the SkeleDog...only for it to simply pass through its empty ribcage harmlessly. The SkeleDog actually sends you an 'are you serious' look and you just chuckle nervously.
Oh right, skeleton....forgot about that.
Your foe cackles mockingly before charging at you once again. Your eyes widen at this as you think,
Crapbaskets!
Acting quickly you...
Kersey's Comment
Sunbro4life's Comment
Level Dasher's Comment
Punch the skeleton with a SHORYUKEN just at it reaches you and you try to follow up with a Hadoken... Only you don't have that ability. All you end up doing is thrusting your hands outward like a dumbass, which gives the skeleton time to stand back up. It once again judges your stupidity with a mock laugh.
Oh Screw You! You don’t even have lungs and can make more diverse noises than I can! Die! Er…RE-DIE!!!
The shield flies out towards the skeleton…who dodges it completely as the throw was wobbly. He even snatches it out of the air and reattaches it to his skeletal arm.
WHAT? No! That ruined my combo finisher!!! You growl.
Before you can grumble further, the Skeledog sends the shield flying right at you, and unlike your throw, his more resembles Captain America’s. The shield impacts you right in the mouth and you fall flat on your back, clutching your lip.
Son of a Bitch! Literally!
Before you can get up from the floor, the Skeledog jumps on top of you, which causes your head to dangle off the small cliff over the lava. Feeling some of your hair singeing, you watch as the now weaponless monster rips off one of it’s own ribs and attempts to use it to gouge one of your eyes out, which you block. Thinking quickly, you uppercut underneath the Skeleton’s sternum into the rib cage and yank back, causing the entire rib cage to fly off and into the lava below.
This shocks the SkeleDog long enough for you to kick it over you into the lava as well. It lands on the surface of the molten rock and bursts into flames, but it doesn’t sink into the depths of the liquid rock like Gollum or Arnie did. In fact, it retrieves it’s burning rib cage and throws it at you, which you barely dodge. It then starts scrambling back up the wall.
You take a few steps back as the now brightly burning Skeleton crests the ridge and stares you down. Some of it is completely melted, and it’s missing it’s entire ribcage, but now it is even more pissed and on fire! Your eye twitches in annoyance and terror at how stubborn this thing is!
The hell I’m punching that thing while it’s on fire! You mentally scream as…
Metordragon's Comment
You begin to call upon all your Dark Souls training and start to dodge roll out of the skeleton’s attacks.
Just keep rolling! Never stop rolling!
This goes on for quite awhile until eventually you have to stop due to nausea getting the better of you. The Skeledog now has you cornered, and with it being on fire you can't exactly do anything to it.
Okay universe, a little help would be nice right about now!
*Splash*
Your eyes widen in surprise as water suddenly douses the SkeleDog's fire out. Seeing where it came from you see a scared Beast Man shakily holding an empty bucket. You smirk at this as you think.
Way to go Beast Man! Someone's getting a head pat later! you think with a grateful smirk.
Turning back to the Bonehead, you see that now without it’s fire advantage, it is on it’s last legs. It has no rib cage, one of it’s arms is missing, and half it’s skull is gone. With a viewing window into it’s former brain house open, you spy something glowing, which is the source for it’s glowing eyes.
A Rune made with what looks like blood is painted on the inside of the Skeledog’s thinker, and it looks shockingly similar to the one from Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood.
Holy Crap! So that's what's going on here huh? Who's the jackass that sealed this poor bastard’s soul into bones? And how is it even here? I’m in My Little Pony Damn It! Wrong World and Wrong Magic System!
Sighing and gaining a new sense of determination you glare at the SkeleDog and think,
At least I know how I can finally end this...
With that thought you...
BrownDog's Comment
Charge at the weakened SkeleDog and, with one massive left hook, demolish it's face and the Blood Rune with it.
The SkeleDog's remaining body twitches slightly, and its remaining arm moves up and gives you one last thumbs up...before it falls backwards, lifeless once again.
You hold your head down in respect as you think,
Rest in peace whoever you were, your soul is now free.
Opening your eyes and staring at the pieces of the Blood Rune you have a thought.
Celestia definitely needs to know about this. If this kind of mag-Alchemy exists who knows what else is out there. Hell, it was next to a Stand Arrow which was next to a shrine of some girl from the Eighties Universe ponies…Just what the Hell does it all mean?
Shaking your head and taking a deep breath you look over to where Beast Man is...and see him giving you a look of admiration. Beast Man walks over to you in awe and says,
"You...you beat him. You...you..."
Suddenly Beast Man gets down on both knees and kneels before you.
"You have bested beast and risked your life to save lowly Dig Dog. From this day forward, Dig Dog Tina swears eternal servitude to new Master!"
That's right Beast Man! You smirk and perk out your chest. Bow down to your mighty leader, Skeleto-wait a minute...Tina? That's a girl’s name...
Upon closer expectation of the Diamond Dog, you notice that it has a slimmer physique compared to the other dogs, with noticeably longer eyelashes and its chest has a noticeable bump. It takes you a few moments to process this information.
What? A BeastWoman? That's not...That's...That's blasphemous! Go away you stupid dog! But despite your protests, the Diamond Dog swears you as her new owner and there's nothing you can do about it. In fact she starts to mimic your going away gestures, mistaking them for a sign of you agreeing to her being your servant.
“My life for yours master. Tina will be good dog. Tina fight for and protect you for saving her from Beast of Forgotten Treasure,” she says with a sincere smile as she picks a spear off the wall and holds it at attention.
“NYEH!” you shout and point towards the tunnel for her to leave.
“Yes! Nyeh!” she mimics in joy. Sighing you can't help but face-palm and think,
Curse you He-Man! I know this irony is your doing!
Pushing aside thoughts of Prince Adam, you decide that if this female Beast Man is going to serve you, you might as well get some information. You immediately point to the skeletal remains before holding up your notepad with a huge question mark on it.
“Nyeh?” you ask.
“Beast of Forgotten Treasure?” Tina asks and you nod. She shrugs and looks at it. “Not know. Dig Dog team find cavern full of treasure, they try to take, but it not like that. Put down those that touch,” she shudders. “So Rover say leave alone. Say it old magic we not know.”
You nod at this and her smile returns.
“But Rover not Tina’s Alpha No More. Tall Master is.”
Ugh. I get a loyal minion and everything’s wrong with it. You’re not supposed to look forward to working for me… you groan.
Taking a deep breath before you start looking this gift horse in the mouth even more, you decide its best to make your way back to Rarity. As you prepare to leave you come across the now cooled rib cage of your fallen foe. With his head gone, you don’t have a suitable victory trophy. But a ribcage could be a good replacement.
Spying some harnesses and straps near all the weapons, an idea works it’s way into your head.
Hmmm…
MEANWHILE, WITH THE OTHERS
"So you’re saying Skeletor took off running after he was spotted?" Twilight asks, pulling her wagon of gems.
Rarity, dragging her own wagon, nods her head at Twilights question before saying,
"Yes, I do believe the poor dear was trying to distract them so I could escape. He's already hurt as it is, and I dread to think what those ruffians might have done to him."
"Please, with that jacked up body of his we should be more worried about the Diamond Dogs. They went down after you nagged them so much” Rainbow points out. Spike shakes his head rapidly at that.
"You don't get it Rainbow, he hurt his claws pretty badly punching rocks, and then he fell down a giant hole.”
“Plus all he can say is that one strange noise of his,” Fluttershy points out.
“And from what Rarity said, they weren’t as annoyed by it as her whining,” Applejack adds.
“I don’t know, if I had to put bits on the table, I’d still gamble on Skelly winning against those meanie pants,” Pinkie counters.
“That’s all well and good Pinkie,” Rarity says, “But Spikey Wikey is right about his previous injuries, so who knows what could have hap-does anypony else hear music?"
Strangephantasm's Comment
The other's begin to look around, and they do indeed hear a tone echoing throughout the cave. The Mane Six and Spike turn towards the entrance of the cave as the tone gets louder and louder.
"Oooh! This sounds really catchy!" Pinkie says bobbing her head.
Applejack just gives Pinkie a look before saying,
"If ya say so pardner,” Applejack shrugs giving Pinkie a weird look, “For some reason it gives me the cre-"
Applejack stops talking when they round the corner of the tunnel... and see you playing a diamond dog rib cage like a xylophone. That isn’t the most eye catching thing, no, you have scorch marks all over your clothes, cuts and bruises litter your body, and the bandages on your left hand are stained red.
Plus you have a female Diamond Dog following right next to you like some kind of body guard.
When you see the 6 ponies and 1 dragon, you smile and cheer that your impromptu instrument has in fact helped you find your allies, but when you notice all the weird looks you’re getting, you stop playing and give all the mares a confused look.
What's with the looks, did I miss something important?
“Oh no! Cover ears Master! Whiny pony bring back up!” your Beast Man named Tina squeals as she clamps her paws over her ears.
All is silent as the ponies and one drake stare at you in surprise, much to your confusion.
What's with all the looks guys? Seriously you act like you've all seen an enemy Stan-oh wait...
Looking closer you can see their shocked stares are not directed at you, (aside from the rib cage xylophone) but at the now clearly nervous Tina.
Realization dawns on you as you think,
Ohhhhh...crap
Denneylaw's Comment
As if your sudden realization was a trigger, Pinkie suddenly shouts out in panic,
"Oh no! Skelly has been captured!!!"
Pinkie's shout manages to snap the others out of their shock as they now start staring down Tina, Rainbow and Applejack specifically getting into fighting stances.
Nonononono, this is my new Beast Man minion! You panic and quickly wave your arms in a ‘wait wait wait’ gesture.
Seeing the confused hesitation in the ponies’ eyes, you quickly take out your notebook and try to draw a picture showing that Tina is friendly…but you’ve got a gauntlet on one hand, and the other is cut up and sore, so all you manage is a big bloodstained happy face.
“Ponies ready to strike master, get behind me. I give my life for yours,” Tina orders as she stands defensively in front of you.
"And now she's forcing him to marry her too!!??” Pinkie yelps to everyone’s confusion. "Don't worry, Skelly, well save you!"
You facepalm at that touching, yet misguided sentiment.
What!!?? The Hell did that come from? Even if Beast Man is female that ain’t happening, you think with a shudder. Only human women thank you very much! Besides Skeletor does not go for his henchmen…Well, maybe he would for Evil-Lyn. That reminds me, now that I’ve got a Beast Man-Woman-Dog, I should acquire her next.
“Pinkie, where’d you get that canon?!” asks Twilight in shock.
You then put your hand to your chin in contemplation, ignoring the escalating situation.
Now, who would be a good candidate? Preferably an actual woman around my age who’s way too into cartoons like I am…but I’ve been searching years for her with no luck, you slump your shoulders. But this is a fantasy world with all kinds of other random franchises showing up, so who knows?
“Where’d that chainsaw even come from?!” Rainbow asks in shock, but still you ignore the situation as you ponder.
I suppose I could forgo the romantic subtext angle and just get an Evil-Lyn minion of a different species that’s got the haughty attitude and follows my commands, that really does open up more possibilities for candidates.
“Is that a flamethrower?!!!” Applejack gasps.
Trixie might be a good choice if I can find her again before she goes all revenge crazy. Sunset Shimmer’s got the whole arrogant bitch attitude before her redemption too…but who knows if those movies are canon or not? If they are she would be the closest thing to a human…but she’d still be a pony on this side. Really the only other human signs are the Megan pictures…Nah, she’s too goody toe shoes to be an Evil-Lyn, but still I really should find her, or what remains of her…
*Dog Whimper*
Huh? What’s that? You snap out of your thoughts and see Tina shaking like a leaf. What’s got you all sho-WHAT THE HELL?!
You finally see how far the situation has escalated since your mental rambling. Pinkie is now armed to the teeth wearing military camo and pointing all the very dangerous and very deadly weapons she now has at Tina.
Is she smoking a candy cane like a cigar? Pinkie, I know your randomness allows you to break the fourth wall and all that, but this might just be stretching it a bit too far!
"Okay Mutt, this can end one of two ways,” Pinkie growls menacingly as she spits out her smoking candy cane. “Either you hoof over my best buddy, or I make ya feel Pinkie Keen. Now...which option are ya picking?"
To emphasize this threat, she somehow cocks the canon like it’s a shotgun, it even makes the sound effect. Tina shakes even more, but she still resolutely stands guarding you, while you, the other mares and Spike blink owlishly at the Ramboed up Pinkie.
Okay...don't know if I should feel honored that she cares that much, or if I need to question just much I hug these ponies...
Shaking your head to clear your thoughts you quickly act before Pinkie can do too much damage as you...
Jaro45's Comment
Step in front of Tina with your bloodied hand raised in a stop gesture to Pinkie, while you pat your minion on the head like you mentally promised. This causes almost all her nervousness to flee as she instantly relaxes into the petting and smiles like a happy dog.
Huh. Guess petting is okay with Diamond Dog culture, stupid ponies and griffons can learn a thing or two from them And it apparently gets them to calm down real quick too...good to know.
Storing away that information for later, and noticing the mare’s weird looks, you proceed with your plan to show that Tina is a friend by putting an arm around her shoulders in as a sign of friendship.
Pinkie stares suspiciously at you for a few seconds before she literally throws off all the weapons and camo off her body as she says,
"Oh! She's just your new friend Skelly! Why didn't you just tell me?"
Ignoring the fact that all the weapons and camo Pinkie had are now suddenly nowhere to be found you simply facepalm and think,
God dang it Pinkie...
With a sigh you remove your arm from Tina and make your way over to the mares, gesturing for the diamond dog to follow you as you do. As you get closer you see their eyes widen in shock again as they get a good look at you.
What? What is it? More dogs? You quickly whip your head around, but no one else new has entered the fray.
“Blood…” Pinkie grimaces. “Hope that’s not Skelly’s Blood.”
Huh? You think and look down at yourself. Oh…Right.
Just_another_guy's Comment
Your right hand bandages are stained red with your blood, your gauntlet is scratched up, and you are wearing a friggen ribcage of a dead guy around your chest, so maybe they have reason to look shook. You do look like you’ve brutally murdered someone after all.
...
...
Oh for fu-
"I WON THE BET!" shouts Pinkie holding a ticket with a picture of you in a boxing stands.
"Now where are my bits" she says holding out a hat. This randomness at least helps to break everyone out of their stupor over your looks.
"Pinkie, we didn't bet any bits on anything," Rainbow points out.
"An ah've been tryin to stop gambling for a while, an ah ain't about to cut that apple." Applejack firmly states, a little defensive.
"Oh, but I still win right?" Pinkie asks, which is followed by moans.
…Pinkie, you’re like the only person I know who can escalate a situation to 11 and then sidetrack the entire thing in only a few minutes.
"You used to gamble Applejack?” Twilight asks in shock. “That’s not a safe vice to fall into. Are you addicted? Do you perhaps need therapy to sto-“
"Howdy Skeletor!" AJ suddenly shouts looking nervous "Where did you get that thing?" She points at the ribs.
Sighing in relief at the change of subject, and not being immediately attacked for looking like a killer, you turn to Tina and mime for her to answer since your drawing hands are kind of out of commission.
“Umm, Master get trophy for destroying Beast of Forgotten Treasure,” she answers.
“Beast of Forgotten Treasure?” Twilight asks.
“Yes. Beast was living dog bones, but not dog bones of our pack. Very bad monster, and master defeat it and save me.”
Damn right Beast Man, you smile and nod heroically.
“Spooky scary skeletons! That sent shivers down my spine,” Pinkie exclaims in exaggerated goosebumps.
"A skeleton diamond dog?" Twilight critiques "there is no way diamond Dogs know how to perform necromancy. Do you know the amount of schooling it would take to learn that? It’s also highly illegal and the secrets of it are buried within the vaults of Canterlot.”
Well it’s a good thing I planned for your doubtfulness Twilight, I knew picking up some poor sod's skull wasn't a bad idea!
Indeed, you had picked up a skull fragment that had some of the Blood Rune on it. It's just a small fragment, but it was also the biggest piece after your epic finisher. Though not a suitable trophy, you figured you'd might need proof that there is necromantic Alchemy happening since just your word probably wouldn't have worked. Like right now!
You dig into the improvised pouch you made to hold the Stand arrow and pull out the skull fragment and present it to Twilight. She looks slightly freaked out at first but once she notices the sliver of the Blood Rune, she begins to ponder over it for a moment. She then takes it via her magic and performs what you can only assume is a scan of some sorts.
After a few moments she slowly widens her eyes in worry and dread.
"This bone fragment does show signs of an unknown magic, though it’s hard to determine if it’s necromantic in origin. I'll have to show this to the Princess for sure…" She then puts your skull peace in her bag.
Hey I fought hard for that, the least you can do is be a little more cautious with it! you think in annoyance..
Seeing your annoyed look Twilight chuckles sheepishly before saying,
"I don't know much about forbidden magic, but she'll know somepony who does. So don't worry Skeletor, we'll figure out what's up."
But I do know what's up! You grumble as your eye twitches. Some douchebag stuffed someone’s soul into the skeleton using Alchemy! Now if I could only tell you that, stupid useless voice box!
As you grumble over your inability to speak for what's probably the thousandth time, Tina speaks up.
BrownDog's Comment
"So master, ponies not going to attack right?” You look back at your minion and see her looking a little apprehensive still, so you hold a thumbs up. Thankfully that translate well with another creature with opposable digits and she lets out a sigh.
“So whiny pony’s friends your friends?" You nod to her while Rarity purses her lips a little.
"Um, excuse me," Twilight speaks up. "I’m sorry we didn’t introduce ourselves before, but what is your name and why do you keep calling Skeletor Master?"
Tina looks back at you, "Master's name Skeletor?" you puff out your chest and give a resounding nod of agreement, and Tina looks back at Twilight.
"Because Purple Pony, Master save me from Beast. He save my life, so I serve him now. Dig Dog Tina is now Guard Dog Tina for Master Skeletor."
"That's...nice and all, but what about your family here in the caves? Are you sure you should leave?" Twilight tries to talk her down.
Quit trying to get rid of my Beast Woman Twilight!
"No family here. Tina go with Master Skeletor,” she says in determination.
“Awesome Sauce, glad to have you aboard Tina,” Pinkie rushes the dog and starts shaking her paw profusely which makes her nervous. “My name is Pinkie Pie, and I’m super duper sorry about almost going postal on you a minute ago. I hope we can be the bestest of best friends.”
“I…Umm…if Master lets me,” she whimpers, still a bit fearful of the Pink Ball of Fluff.
"But, indentured servitude is illegal in Equestria,” Twilight speaks up. “You don’t have to follow him and-"
"Darling," Rarity interrupts, "Perhaps we should take Skeletor to the hospital instead of arguing in these caves?"
Jaro45's Comment
CroisSunnyPlay’s Comment
You and Twilight look down at your non-gauntleted hand and see how your red bandages are dripping. This causes all the ponies to wince anew, and the feeling is mutual as the pain in your damaged hand slowly begins to register.
"Yes! Ponies use magic to heal Master," Tina agrees. You nod and with your gauntleted hand hold up one of your premade pictures of a bed.
Good call Dress Horse and Beast Man. After all the fun today, I need some rest, relaxation and some food. Sleep restores HP after all right?
“R-Right!” Twilight nods sheepishly. “Let’s get you to the doctors.”
The ponies and Spike then begin leading you to the exit, and you ponder the intricacies of the universe yet again.
If this is a show trying to be a game, does this mean I get to level up? Ooh, maybe the more I level up, the more like Skeletor I get! Maybe I can even unlock some more awesome weapons! Or better yet! GET THE POWER!!! NYYYEEHHH!!!
The ponies just stare at your stupid smile, and raised arms of triumph which your Beast Woman decides to mimic.
“Twilight, he’s doing that thing again,” Rainbow Dash murmurs.
“And now he’s got the Diamond Dog doing it,” Applejack adds.
“That’s just Skeletor being Skeletor girls,” Spike claw waves which causes you smile wider at that.
Yes, your feeble minds cannot handle the greatness that is The Great Skeletor’s mind! NYEH HEH HEH!!!
Pausing at that, you groan airily.
The Great Skeletor? That’s a Papyrusim. Wrong Skelebro! You chide yourself before giving a quick glance at your female Beast Man. I blame you yet again, Beast Woman! NYEH!!!
And with that, you all get the hell out of the caves, your hands hurt too much to write much more, so you'll leave the Megan shrine to discuss with Twilight when you're better.
LATER THAT DAY
We find you back in a familiar room, the same hospital room you woke up in after the whole 'Nightmare Moon' fiasco. Aside from Twilight confiscating your Rib Cage instrument, to say your walk here was boring would be putting it lightly. Because you couldn’t exactly write, you couldn’t answer complex questions, so the mares and Spike focused on pulling their wagons of gems and tried to make small talk with Tina, though she stuck close to you still, apprehensive of Pinkie.
“Pink Pony dangerous master, you sure she won’t hurt Tina?” she asked you after being subjected to Pinkie’s slew of random and personal questions, from her favorite colors, foods, games, etc.
You just held out another thumbs up to ease her mind.
It was then that an idea involving your new minion came to mind.
MemeologistAI's Comment
BrownDog’s Comment
Maybe I can teach her English, or at least basic sign language.
You figured that at the rate you’re going with the Equestrian language it would take till at least mid-season two before you could accurately write whatever their stupid squiggles are. But with a minion with opposable thumbs at your disposal…
How hard could it be to train a Diamond Dog a new language anyway? Even if she isn’t a savant, some hand gestures seem to be universal. Gilda knew what flipping the bird meant, and Tina knows a good thumbs up so there’s room for improvement. Plus having a minion translate for me is a perfect villain trope...or anti-hero trope in this case since I'm not evil evil. I'm chaotic neutral at best if I think about it.
The rest of the walk back had you debating mentally which side of the moral coil you were on and the long lasting effects your choices would lead to...
So the usual random rants you have. Really this one was only so deep as to keep you distracted from the pain in your hand, which had gotten to the point of a very unconformable burning sensation before getting to the hospital. When you all did arrive thankfully the towns ponies weren't as out and about as they were this morning so you didn't have to deal with any of that drama.
Anyway, the doctor ponies numbed your hands, and placed several stitches into the right one. Thanks to the gauntlet, your left hand only suffered the initial rock punching and only had minor cuts. Your right hand is now heavily bandaged to avoid opening the stitches, so you'll have to rely on you left hand for drawing but thankfully, you are a bit ambidextrous when it comes to that.
Tina stayed by your side the whole time, ignoring the doctor's orders for her to stay in the waiting room with the others.
"No! Tina make sure pony magic make master better," she declared brandishing her spear, and that shut them up good and quick.
Heh. Talk about having a guard dog.
After awhile of sitting in your room with your loyal minion, the others were free to visit you.
"So Skeletor, since you are more or less feeling better, could you tell us exactly what happened with that skeletal Diamond Dog?" Twilight asks as she levitates your gauntlet and puts it in her bag for safe keeping.
Eh, it’s not like I can wear it right now anyway, you reason as you pull out your pad and start drawing with your left hand.
Sunbro4life's Comment
You sketch to the best of your abilities the golry that was your battle with the Skeledog! You make sure to throw in some JoJo poses into the sketches to truly show off your mightiness in battle. Of course your drawing style is cartoonier than JoJo, so it isn't as epic as it could be, but what can you do?
By the end of your presentation Pinkie stares in awe while everyone else had look intrigued but confused by your narrative.
“I don’t…why would you pose like that in the middle of a fight?” Rainbow asks.
“I don’t even think it’s possible for a creature’s spine to bend that way,” Fluttershy agrees.
Some people just can't appreciate good JoJo fight scenes these days. Posing IS fighting!
Allsmiles's Comment
While the others debate over your JoJo poses and their validity, Twilight instead seems to be thinking deeply about your story.
"Skeletor, you wouldn't happen to remember what that symbol inside the skeleton’s head was, would you?"
Do I? you think raising a brow. Lady I've read that manga and watched that anime so many times I'm pretty sure I can recreate the entire thing for you all to read...if it hasn’t already been written. Fluttershy is canonically an anime fan after all.
Putting that under the curiosities to look under later category, you nod to Twilight.
"Would you mind drawing it then? I think it would help Princess Celestia’s search when I give her the fragment.”
That really isn't a bad idea, you nod and start drawing, hopefully having the actual rune can make cross referencing easier. Plus it could be like my Havoc Staff, something in the pony lore as something else. Worst case scenario I have to deal with pony homunculi...oh please just let it be a pony thing!
After finishing the sketch, you hand it off to Twilight who studies it for a few moments before putting it into her bag.
" I don't recognize it unfortunately, but maybe the Princess’s experts will?"
I hope so, or we're all screwed...
And feeling like it’s a longshot, but having no other alternatives, you…
Greatness942's Comment
Pull out the Stand Arrow out and present it, blade side towards you, to Twilight. She picks it up with her magic with a curious expression on her face.
"What is this?" she asks, floating it around with her magic as the others give it a good look.
You open up her saddlebags and tap the rib cage she confiscated.
"Inside the Skeleton? What a harrowing thought."
She then magically scans it, hovering it about in her Aura for a few seconds like she did with the skull fragment. When she opens her eyes, she regards the arrow in contemplation.
“Hmm. Like the bone fragment there are some traces of an unknown energy attached to this object, though the signatures on this one are…different. I don’t even know if it can be called magic. I…I have no idea what it could be though.”
I have a pretty good idea. Though it’s probably best if Ol’ Sunbutt looks at it first.
You then gesture for her to give it back to you. She bites her lip for a second before answering.
“I’d actually rather hold onto this for awhile Skeletor.” When she sees you starting to pout she holds her hoof up. “Look, while it may not be radiating the same energy as the bone fragment, it’s still unknown what it is, and really we’re not allowed to let you carry weapons after the Ursa Minor incident.”
“NYEH?!” you shout in surprise and anger which startles them.
Since when?! It’s not like I’m gonna-Is This Foxtrot’s Doing?! You grind your teeth and Tina stands defensively, but Twilight waves you down again.
“Skeletor please, it’s only for your safety. I wouldn’t feel comfortable if I gave you a mysterious artifact without knowing what it was first, and have you hurt yourself.”
Or others is what you’re not saying, you think with a huff and cross your arms.
“Come on Twilight, have you no decency for the finders keepers international protocols?” Pinkie defends you.
“Okay, one. That’s not a real sanction, and two. If it proves to not be dangerous, I’m sure he’ll be allowed it back. I just want to make sure it’s not dangerous.”
It's dangerous if you're unworthy, but this is a Stand Arrow...or at least, a mysterious replica.
You then let out a sigh and slump your shoulders.
Fine, let her hold onto it for awhile, Celestia still has to give the 411 on it anyway. If it is legit though, then by Araki himself, I will get Hermit Purple!
After that, you answered as many questions as you could with your notepad, but you left out the Megan shrine until you could talk with Twilight alone since it would only raise more questions from the others.
A little while later, the doctors gave you the all ok to be released, and now we find you walking out the front doors.
BrownDog’s Comment
"Dude, are Okay? What happened?" comes a concerned gruff voice as Gilda lands in front of you after exiting the hospital.
"It's alright Gilda, Skeletor just had a little dust up with a skeleton monster and got a dog," Pinkie simplifies the story pointing to Tina.
"Pinkie, no need to be rude to our new guest," Rarity admonishes.
"No Pink Pony right. Master kill skeleton and get me ," Tina responds, causing Rarity to become aghast that she agreed with Pinkie Pie.
"Whoa, what?" Gilda squawks, and the others fill her in on what they know so far.
Since Tina refuses to leave your company, Twilight agrees to keep the both of you in the library since it has the most room, but before you all depart, you pull Rarity aside and hold out your designs.
She visibly cringes at seeing your form but sighs.
"Well, I did end up getting more than five wagons full of gems today, and it did come about because of your fall, so a deal's a deal."
You smile and hug the fashionista who lets out a squeaky toy sound from how hard you embrace her.
"Alright Darling...Need...Air!" she gasps and you let her go with a pat to the head.
"Just give me time, I have to work on an ensemble for Sapphire Shores first. And again, there's not much I can do for that mask you want,” she pants, pushing your hand away from her.
It's Okay Marshmallow Pone, I'll figure that out on my own. I've got a cheap discount Beast Man Woman, and will have my clothes on order. Now all I have to do is worry about ravenous fairies and my appointment with the Sun Goddess at the end of the week...Oh right...
And like that your good mood sours a bit.
Tina seems to notice your now saddened mood as she asks,
"What is wrong Master Skeletor?"
Looking back at the Diamond Dog’s concerned eyes, you can’t help but think,
I really hope that if I do get stoned, they at least let Tina stand guard of my statue. I'd like to still be able to mock Beast Man for a thousand years...
Seeing as how you’re slowly starting to fall into sadness at the thought of your indeterminate future, you distract yourself by…
Treforce's Comment
55daddy’s Comment
Giving Tina a good pat on the head and a few ear and chin scratches to boot, which she all but reacts to like the good dog she is.
Aww, who knew Beast Man would be so soft? You think as you pet your frustrations away and Tina’s tail wags back and forth.
Rarity and Fluttershy look a little embarrassed by this display, while Gilda seems a little upset for some reason, but thankfully Applejack proves to be the voice of reason when she says,
“Huh, she’s reacting just like Winona would.”
“Tina good dog yes?” she asks and you nod which makes her lean her head under your hand more. “Tina is good dog…”
For now Beast Man, but soon I’m sure you’ll bumble everything up and I can berate you.
“Still though, this display…” Rarity blushes.
“Quit being weird like that in public!” Gilda huffs and you look over at her with a knowing brow.
Jealous you’re not getting ear scratches kitty? You smirk which causes her huff more and for Pinkie to giggle.
This whole situation does help cheer you up a bit though, and you crack a small smile.
I got a week before Judgment Day...and I'm gonna make it last.
LATER
THE DAY BEFORE CELESTIA’S VISIT
For the past week you've been hanging out at Twilight's and by hanging out you mean 'imprisoned and kept out of public view.' It is somewhat by your own violation at least. You didn't wanna risk mucking anything up anymore then you already had before Celestia arrives. Plus you just didn't want to deal with any of the pony drama.
Gilda left a day after your adventure in the Diamond Dog caves, with a promise to come and visit soon. You really hope she doesn’t see you again as a statue, because you'd be lying if you said you didn't get slightly attached to the cat-bird. Her goodbye was long and tearful...mostly because you wouldn't stop hugging her, and giving her ear scratches which caused her to slash you with her talons to finally escape your grip.
...
You may be slightly too attached to these tiny creatures who can probably beat you without touching you...literally.
Rarity says she’s making progress on your clothing, but the deadline approaching, you doubt you’ll be in your true garb before you face judgment.
You also managed to finally take a shower again after who knows how long. Needless to say, you now small much better then you did back in the caves.
Anyway, Tina has managed to adjust to life on the surface pretty well, despite the town’s usual bigotry. Despite most ponies having a mild panic attack when seeing you, so far nopony had given her any hassle when they've come to the library to...well, use the library. Whereas you all but have to hide in the basement to avoid a situation, most of the ponies that visit accept Tina and just think she's Twilight's newest assistant. Both she and Spike vehemently shoot down that prospect whenever anypony brings it up, for different reasons of course. Her tutoring in the English language however...well let’s just say it could be going better.
Without being able to sound out the words, and not having a basis to compare it to the Equestrian written word, she can only differentiate certain words for objects you’ve drawn, Like Pony, Unicorn, Pegasus, and other simple words. It will be sometime before you even have a chance of attempting sign language.
As for you? You've been learning more of the Equestrian language but still are having some trouble grasping some things. You can at least use a few common phrases now, the biggest leap coming from writing down ‘Who? What? When? Where? Why? And How?’
You now have a dedicated page for those questions that you can point to when the need arises.
However, since today might be your last because of judgmental ponies, you decided to leave the library (with Twilight's permission of course) to seek out Lyra to get more details on that ancient legend. Twilight still doesn’t know about the Megan Shrine you left behind, because really she is just as in the dark as you are, but Lyra might hold some answers. Talking to her has been on your side-quest list for far too long, and if you’re going to be turned to stone then subsequently eaten by Navi Trebles, then you’re gonna go with that one marked off. With Twilight off preparing, and Fluttershy no doubt discovering the first parasprite soon, you prepare both Twilight’s and your notes on the Megan situation.
“And where do you think you’re going off to?” asks an inquisitive voice in front of the door.
“Master Skeletor going out today. Tina need spear so give it back Guard Pony,” Tina responds.
“That’s not gonna happen Diamond Dog,” Foxtrot says.
“Why not? You get spear!” Tina argues.
“Because I’m a Royal Guard and you’re not,” the officer barks.
Sighing you look over to O’Carrol who gives you a knowing look and rolls his eyes.
“Oh boy, how long do you think they’ll be at it today?” he asks as he descends the stairs with you.
You flip your note pad to a sketch of a sunset and point at it which causes him to chuckle.
“Eyup. Sounds about right.”
While most ponies are alright with Tina and vice versa, she and Foxtrot don’t exactly get along. Perhaps she knows just how much the guard mare frustrates you, but you have no idea why Foxtrot is snippy with your Beast Man.
When you get down stairs, you see the two females glaring daggers at each other.
“Creature! Tell your dog she’s not getting her spear back!” you just cock an eyebrow at her with your hands on your hips and she realizes what she just said.
“You know what I meant!” she huffs. Sighing you pat Tina and shake your head no which causes her ears to wilt and her to moan.
“Thank you,” Foxtrot nods, and you roll your eyes. “Now, where exactly do you and your dog think you’re headed?” she asks.
You just flip your page to one of the first words Twilight taught you and tap it repeatedly.
‘SCIENCE’
You then walk past her out the door before she can say anything else.
As you and Tina make your way out you notice her downtrodden face, no doubt due to how her spear was taken away. This actually makes you feel a little sad.
Don’t worry Beastwoman! For Skeletor is a master in the art of pickpocketi- I mean stealthily ‘borrowing’ items!
It’s true. Back before you got teleported or however the hell you got to Equestria you were a master at pickpocketing. Playing hours upon hours of stealth games made you curious if it was really as easy it looked. A couple internet searches and annoyed smacks from your sister later, and you realized that no, no it is not that easy. That didn’t stop you from practicing the skill though, not for any real monetary gain, but for the prank factor. Needless to say, many of your marks were baffled when their IDs were glued to their houses.
Anyway, deciding to dust off your old skills you stealthily grab Tina's spear as you walk past Foxtrot and out of the Library. You get a good couple feet away and you see Tina's awed look, which only causes your ego to boom.
Yes! Be amazed at the great and powerful Skeletor's magnificent pickpocket ski-What the Hell?!
While boasting you looked back at your ill gotten gain and found a surprise. You do have the spear, but you are also dragging a very angry Foxtrot along with it.
Dang, I didn’t even notice the extra weight. Weird how this body is so freaking strong.
While O'Carrol follows behind snickering, Foxtrot digs her hooves into the ground in a fruitless effort to stop you.
"Creature, if you don't let go right now and explain to me just what kind of 'Science' you’re planning in the next ten seconds, then so help me Celestia I wil-"
Deciding that you didn't want to deal with the guard’s anger you quickly let go which causes her to topple over backwards onto the ground.
This gets a snort out of both Tina and O’Carrol, and you’d be snickering too if her gaze wasn’t trained right on you.
Blowing at a stray strand of hair that had gotten in front of her face, she gets to her hooves and reholsters the spear while you shake your hands in a back and forth gesture in the hopes that it can calm her down. She scrunches her eyes in response and shakes her head before looking at you with a lessened glare.
"I still haven't heard what science you’re planning on doing creature!"
Thinking quickly you nudge Tina and gesture for her to explain. Tina nods her head before looking over to Foxtrot.
"Master Skeletor off on side quest! Find out some more info of old biped before some 'great disaster' comes tomorrow. Master still won't tell loyal Guardian Tina just what disaster is though..." At this Tina gives you a pleading look, to which you only scratch your head nervously.
Sorry Tina, but I can't exactly reveal the whole Parasprite disaster just yet. Need to wait for when those devil puff-balls show up before I can do my stuff.
While you were busy thinking this, your two guards ponies shared a look before Foxtrot mumbles to O'Carrol,
"Is he talking about the princess arriving tomorrow?"
"He must be. You think he had a vision of her punishing him?" O'Carrol side glances at you in worry.
“He didn’t see anything Oak,” she whispers resolutely. “He’s probably just nervous. He hasn’t actually hurt anypony so she wouldn’t do anything…right?”
"Guard ponies! Stop mumbling and hurry up, Master doesn't have all day!" Tina orders and the two guards snap out of their conversation to see you and Tina ahead of them. You would have just left them behind, but you didn't wanna send the towns ponies off into a panic if the 'creature' was seen without its guards.
Foxtrot and O'Carrol share a look before catching up to you as you make your way to Lyra’s house.
Good thing Pinkie creepily knows where every single pony lives in this town, you think as you look at the directions she’s drawn for you. As you do, Tina nudges you and you look to her.
“Thanks for trying Master. Tina get spear again one day.”
Of course you will Beastwoman. It wouldn’t do to have my minions unarmed, you nod as you pat her head, causing her tail to wag.
Now, let’s get to Heartstring’s house and hopefully get some answers before everything ends tomorrow…
A FEW BLOCKS LATER
Sunbro4life's Comment
As you walk through town, you get the usual looks of fear or hesitance from the towns folk that you are sadly now used to. However, you manage to distract yourself from the looks by doing what you do best, getting lost in your own thoughts.
You know, if this version of Equestria has a whole lot of crossover stuff happening, then what else could there be? Like there's already JoJo, Old School MLP and now Full Metal Alchemist stuff I’ve come across, so who knows? If there’s already living skeleton monsters then for all I know there might be a Nito on the loose in some dark corner of Equestria.
The thought of the skeletal monstrosity Dark Souls boss somewhere out in the world manages to send a shiver throughout your body.
One skeleton messed me up in my new jacked up body so who knows what multiple ones smooshed together will do. I really, really hope Dark Souls is the one franchise that doesn't bleed over…Although, if Nito was here then wouldn't he be made of a bunch of different species skeletons? Man that would probably be a really badass metal album cover now that I think about it.
You really, really have a fascination with living bone creatures that not even therapy can solve.
Maybe I should keep a page for all the crossover elements I find?...Nah, that’s a waste of paper. I should be able to keep track of all the crossover stuff well enough in my head.
With that thought you once again switch your mental topics.
You know I wonder if the Stand arrow could work on the other species here? I mean all it demands is that you are worthy, and in Part 4 rats of all creatures got Stands. So why not the overly adorable creatures of Equestria? In fact...
Your eyes linger over to Tina, who is loyaly by your side as always, as you continue to think,
If Tina is worthy...I could have a Stand powered Beastwoman! Oh the possibilities of having a Stand minion, plus if I play my cards right I can help Celestia get a army of super-powered guards! Discord, Chrysalis, Tirek, none of them would stand a chance! Plus that might save me a stoning...a stoning...
The possibility of your fate tomorrow hits you again, causing you to shudder.
Oh who am I kidding, I’ll end up killing a lot of innocents jabbing that stupid arrow into them, and that will get me stoned faster. There’s still no guarantee it’s even genuine, you think sourly. Before you can get too lost in your melancholy, Tina suddenly says,
"Master, we are here!"
Snapping out of your thoughts you see that you are, indeed, at your destination. Lyra's house is right in front of you, and with it hopefully some answers you really need.
"We'll stand guard out here creature, if anything suspicious happens we will break the door down. Just so you know,” she says matter of factly.
You can feel a sweatdrop forming as you think in a deadpanned tone,
Well thanks for the vote of confidence Foxtrot, really shining as my favorite guard with that attitude, you deadpan as a sweat drop forms on your brow.
With a sigh you walk up to the door and knock. After a few seconds you are greeted with one of the fandom’s favorite background ponies.
“Skeletor?” she gasps in shock and you give a nervous little wave. Her eyes then sparkle in absolute glee as she turns behind her and shouts,
BrownDog's Comment
“Oh My Gosh! Girls! Girls! He’s Here!”
Girls? Who’s she talking to, Bon Bon? That’s only one gi-Oh Crud!
Filling the doorway are three other unicorn mares, Minuette, Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine.
The Unicorn Science Pack! You think with both glee and trepidation. The other three all look at you in awe while Lyra trots in place giddily.
“This is him! The missing link! Skeletor! Oh how great is this that he finally visits when you’re all down?!” She squees, which makes the others lose their collective minds.
“He’s Amazing!” Twinkleshine gushes.
“Extraordinary!” Lemon Hearts agrees.
“He’s so cool looking Lyra! Why didn’t you say he was so cool looking?!” Minuette shouts.
“Master, Pony squees hurt my ears,” Tina complains from behind you.
“Oh My Gosh, he has a dog too?” Minuette asks.
“Oh right, I think he rescued her or something, I saw her walking in town with him a few days ago,” Lyra nods. “Oh, but where are my manners? Come in, Come In!” She then all but yanks you through the door with her magic on your hand, with Tina following suit.
Oh boy, what did I just get myself into?
Lyra then goes on and on about how excited she is that you’ve finally come around to talking with her, and that it was lucky her friends from Canterlot were down for Princess Celestia’s visit tomorrow. She then introduces you to said friends. Twinkleshine and Lemon Hearts courteously greet you with their names, but Minuette stands up on her hind legs and rapidly shakes your hand while gushing over you.
“My name is Minuette and I just have to say, it’s so amazing to meet you Mr. Skeletor sir you!”
Nice to meet you too less hyper blue Pinkie, you smirk. Then, much to Tina’s chagrin, Minuette starts fussing over her.
“What’s your name?”
“T-Tina,” she says nervously.
“Oh my gosh! You are soooo cute! We have to get your nails and fur done up at the spa!”
“No! Tina hates baths!” your Beast Man shrieks, which only makes the blue unicorn laugh more.
You two are then led to the living room, where apparently you’ve interrupted a tea party. They set you down on the child sized couch and Lyra grabs a pitcher that serves as a normal glass for you.
“I’m so glad you came,” she says thankfully. “Bon Bon is going to be so jealous when she realizes you came over while she was out helping decorate.”
You nod to this and sip your tea. You’re no aficionado, but it tastes fine by all accounts.
“So, why did you decide to finally come Skeletor?” she asks. In answer, you hold up your pad and point to ‘Science.’
There is a deep pause for a few seconds, before all the mares just shriek in giddiness while Tina holds her ears in discomfort. The science pack then bring out note pads, random science equipment, and even a few cameras.
“This is history in the making girls! It’s a shame that Moondancer didn’t come though,” Lyra wilts her ears.
“Yeah, she’s hardly kept her nose out of a book since the Summer Sun Celebration,” Minuette adds.
Oh, now there’s a friendship problem I could probably fix for the better before it gets worse…if I survive tomorrow that is.
Pushing thoughts of speeding up friendship lessons aside, you answer their questions as best as you can, and allow them their scientific inquiries.
Some Hours Later
After enough data gathering, the group seem satisfied with what they’ve learned about you. Mostly they were interested in how the effects of Poison Joke changed you anatomy so much. With their minds sated, you finally decide to get some questions answered of your own.
You signal to Lyra, and present your notes of Megan.
Alright, either your tale has something to do with this cryptic 12 year old girl from the eighties, or there’s some other mystery human to add to the list.
As she looks over Twilight and your notebooks, she seems awestruck.
“A furless bipedal creature with a golden mane…” she mouths as the rest of you raise your brows.
“That’s…that’s exactly how my grandfather described it,” she says as she points to the child drawing picture. “In fact, I’m more than certain this is his drawing in this book…I never knew anypony had published it.”
“Well, this is a cryptozology book Lyra,” Lemon Hearts points out. “And a pretty old one at that.”
“Be that as it may, there’s nothing cryptic about it, Skeletor here is proof. Proof that my grandfather met one of his kind.”
You perk up at this and motion for her to continue in interest.
“He always told me that when he was a foal, he came across a crying figure near a stream in the White Tail woods. He said it was taller than his father by far, and it was unlike anything he had ever seen before. He was frightened at first…but the creature was so sad, he couldn’t help but be curious.”
She looks back down at the drawing in nostalgia.
“He said the creature cheered up when he neared and offered him tea, but he refused. He asked what it was, and it said it was a traveler, looking for someone.”
“Who was it looking for?” asks Twinkleshine.
“I don’t know. Grandpa didn’t know either. He said the creature confused him a lot when trying to explain. Something it said stuck with him though, because from then on he always called the creature The Rainbow Walker…”
Lyra looks at your intense face as you absorb the information.
Holy…how far does this rabbit hole go?
You then hold up the map in Twilight’s tome and Lyra nods.
“When Grandpa couldn’t find the creature again, he decided to prove he’d met it. He traveled a lot when he was older, looking for any clues or legends about the Walker…but he failed to find proof.”
Lyra then goes into her room and brings out a trunk which she starts to unlock.
“When he got even older, he instead focused his studies on Minotaurs, and was convinced the Rainbow Walker was the missing link between them and cows, but nopony believed him.”
She then looks at you in triumph. “But they will now!”
She then opens up the trunk and brings out an old worn Pink Bow.
“Before the Rainbow Walker said goodbye to my Grandpa and walked into the woods, it gave him this bow from it’s golden mane and told him to keep it safe for it. For three generations, nopony has been able to decipher what these intricate patterns are on it…but maybe you’ll know Skeletor.”
She hands you the pink ribbon and your eyes widen because you do know what those patterns are.
‘M.W.’
Megan Williams…
You can only stare at the pink ribbon in awe, thousands of thoughts flying in your mind. And for once none of them are Skeletor related. But one thought sticks out to you the most.
If Megan was here that long ago...then how come Celestia didn't know I was human? If Megan was around back when Lyra's grandpa when was a kid then how did she not know? Is she that good at staying hidden somehow?
You look back down at Twilight’s book, which according to Lemon Hearts is a Cryptozoology book.
That means this book is the equivalent of a book on Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster back home. But still, even the loneliest hermit living under a rock knows about Bigfoot, he’s an urban legend. So how come Celestia didn’t know? Is she playing me? Keeping secrets? Luna as Nightmare Moon didn’t know what I was, but she was mooned for a thousand years, what if…
You think back to the day you met the sun horse at the hospital. You were pained and groggy, but you thought you had a good read on her. Now?...
You then trace your hand over the drawing.
She said she didn’t know what I was, and Twilight couldn’t find anything aside from this book so maybe it is possible…or maybe she was being literal. What if she’d heard of Megan, but never met her or knew what she was? You think in panic.
Maybe she’d heard of the rumors and didn’t believe them before, but when I arrived she got curious? Is that really why she left me with Twilight? To see if there’s more to the rumors? Or what if this is all some big game and she’s just stringing me along?! AAAAAHHHH!!!
You groan in frustration over the conspiracy theories forming in your mind.
“Mr. Skeletor, is everything alright?” asks Lyra and you come out of your thoughts to see everyone looking at you in worry. From their perspective, you’ve been staring intently at the ribbon for awhile.
You nod to answer them and Lyra asks,
“Okay, but is it familiar? Do you recognize the markings?” You stare at her, and hit a crossroads.
What do I tell her? Yes? I can’t do that because I can’t explain in depth. I can’t say no, because that’d be a lie and would crush her dreams…
You then flip to your notepad and point to the word ‘Maybe.’
“Maybe?” she asks, a bit deflated, but not altogether down. You nod and the others write down notes in their own pads.
“So…it’s familiar to you, but you’re not sure?” she ventures.
You wave your hand in the maybe gesture.
“Oh…well even still, the fact that it’s familiar is more information than we had before,” she says optimistically.
You nod to this then stare at the ribbon a bit longer.
So you were here, whether anyone else knew or not. Who were you looking for? What else have you hidden? Are you still here…?
“Skeletor?” Lyra asks again in worry. You turn to her with a smile and hand back Megan’s ribbon before giving her head a pat, much to her embarrassment and her friends’ amusement. Noticing it’s getting late you draw a quick picture of the time and stand up.
“Oh, it is rather late,” Lyra agrees. “But if possible, do you think we can speak more later? I still think there might be more to this tale.”
You have no idea, you think as you give a nod.
You then all go through with your goodbyes, before you and Tina leave with the guards following suit. The whole time you do, one thought pervades your mind.
I...I have to find out more about this. I can’t end up stoned tomorrow, I just can’t!
SOMETIME LATER
As you, Tina, and the guards walk back to Twilights you start to look around. The town is totally different when it approaches night, and it gets a lot prettier as well. The fact that there's not as much scared ponies out by this time is an added bonus. As you look around you begin to think,
Allsmiles's Comment
I should really do something about Tina's spear before tomorrow. If tomorrow is my last day of freedom, then I should spend time helping others…just in case.
Thinking that though causes an epiphany to come to you.
Wait…helping others…Tomorrow, a bunch of Ocarina of Time fairies are going to devour the town and it’s resources. Pinkie’s gonna save the day sure, but I could use this to my advantage! I could ‘save’ ponies and their stuff from the little bastards, and maybe they’ll be less inclined to see me become a statue.
“He’s smiling weirdly again,” Foxtrot says to O’Carrol.
“Master Skeletor smile how he wants to pony,” Tina defends.
That’s right Beastwoman. This might be it! My last chance to get some brownie points with these stupid scared ponies. Whether Celestia is playing me in some game or not, I can’t let this quest end now! I just can’t!
You look at your minion and realize a spear would actually improve the fight against the parasprites.
There’s no chance of getting it away from Foxtrot, but I could make you one. All I need is a good stick and something to whittle it with. And failing that, I can play fetch with her. Dogs love sticks! It's foolproof! You smile at the thought and begin to look around for any sticks to use. Noticing a fallen branch outside the library you quickly snatch it up before anyone notices, and stealthily hide it in your poncho.
As you all walk through the front door, you see Twilight coming down the stairs.
“There you are, where have you been? It’s late.”
“Master talk with squeaky ponies about science,” Tina says bluntly confusing Twilight.
“Huh?”
“He spoke with a Ms. Lyra Heartstrings and her friends ma’am,” O’Carrol answers.
“Who?” Twilight asks causing you to raise a brow. You’re not the only one as Spike looks to her incredulously.
“Lyra? You’re old friend from Canterlot…You went to school together?” he says as if she should know.
“Oh…right…Lyra,” Twilight nods, clearly not remembering.
Wow, you really were a bad friend to them. No wonder Moondancer’s going nuts, you shake your head in disappointment.
“Well why were you doing science with her? I have to drag you kicking and screaming to do any kind of experiments with you,” she insinuates.
Because Lyra doesn’t try to jab with me needles, you think and wave her off.
“Well, regardless, get some rest Skeletor, tomorrow’s going to be a big day.”
You then notice two parasprites floating above her head and gulp.
It sure is…
SOMETIME LATER...AGAIN
Jaro45's Comment
We now find you next to a sleeping Tina staring at the ceiling after the last few hours. After being introduced to the two Navis, you convinced Spike to get out ice cream. You decided that if today's your last day for a meal, then it damn well better be ice-cream.
So the three of you chowed down on ice cream while your two guards and Twilight were off to the side, talking in hushed tones about something you couldn’t really care less about since the ice cream you were eating was just that good.
Plus the look on Tina's face when she first tried some Vanilla ice-cream (no chocolate for her) was just too adorable for you to notice anything else. Seriously it was like seeing your little sister trying it all over it again, and honestly it was one miracle you thought you'd never see again.
With one last look to Tina you think,
God dang it Beastwoman, you are far too adorable for your own good!
With that thought you fall asleep...And you regret it almost immediately.
Denneylaw's Comment
GotThisToLikeStorys's Comment
Dream Land
You sit upon your knees as you stare into Princess Celestia’s eyes, who has somehow grown as large as an Ursa Minor.
"Greetings Skeletor. I trust that all is well?"
Even in your dreams, you know you cannot answer, and an airy gasp leaves your lips.
"Creature, tell your mutt to give me my spear back!!!"
"No way, pony take my spear, so I take pony spear!!!"
Tina and Foxtrot run around in circles, causing destruction to the town, which is smaller than usual.
"You can't do that mutt!"
"Yes mutt can!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"Ugh!"
“Well, that does not seem well at all Skeletor. Not well at all…” the giant Celestia says with a frown.
Curse you, beastman, er woman!! I swear if this ends badly for me, I'll give it to you WAY WORSE than what will happen to me!! Also, stupid dog, you made me look bad...again!!!
All around the destroyed town, even smaller ponies walk out and look at you in anger and fear and point at you.
“It seems as though my ponies have spoken. You are far too chaotic to remain free. What were you thinking setting off fireworks inside the Wal-Mart?!” she chastises.
It was supposed to be a prank, I didn’t mean to set the clothes on fire, I swear! I’m sorry! You try to apologize but as you open your mouth, the hints of an annoyingly catchy song starts to come out.
“Heeeeaaa-“ you promptly shut your mouth with both hands in horror.
No, No, NO!!! you panic as you pull your hair down and see your hair has reverted back to yellow.
NOOOO! I was cured damn it! I WAS CURED!!!
“For your crimes He-Man, I sentence you to stoning, with unresolved side quests!” she booms.
I’m not He-Man! He-Man belongs in the trash! You can’t do this to me, I have so many questions still! You panic as you cower in a corner. The giant Celestia powers up her magic while all the ponies, and even Foxtrot and Tina cheer for your destruction.
I don’t want to go…not yet…
Before Giantlestia strikes you down, a blue wave of magic washes through, and everything around you starts turning into stardust.
Huh? You think as you look at your surroundings as a sense of peace comes to you.
How did…Wait a second, this is another Nightmare isn’t it? Does that mean…
You look up to the sky at the moon and see Luna again in her Woona form panting with effort.
"Thou's nightmares art both funny, and disconcerting my friend…" she shouts, her voice coming from very, very far away.
You look at her distant form and smile, giving her a big thumbs up. It’s hard to tell, but you think you see her smile back, right before she vanishes and the dream dissolves around you.
The Waking World
You wake up, and feel that you had sweat through your sheets during the Nightmare. Pulling your hair down, you see that it is your normal color, and no stupid song comes out of your mouth.
Stupid dreams. At least Luna’s got my back. But why is she always so far away? Can she not get closer? You wonder before you realize there is a heavy buzzing of wings. Looking around, you see Parasprites EVERYWHERE. On all the furniture, flying around, covering Tina like a blanket, etc.
Oh, right, these assholes, you think in annoyance. That means Twilight’s about to wake up and start running around like a chicken with her head cut off any second now.
And sure enough, you hear a commotion upstairs as Twilight wakes to the realization.
Sighing, you get out of bed and start stretching.
Whelp, time to hopefully get in some good graces by ‘Saving’ Town Ponies, you think as you walk into Twilight’s lab and grab your Havoc Staff. If these are my last hours, I’m going out having some fun…
As the Parasprites buzz all around you in a chaotic mess you notice how they aren't eating any of the books or furniture yet. This causes you to let out a sigh of relief as you think,
Good, these pests haven't gone full on eating rampage yet. If even one of them gets close to eating the words off a book then goodbye non-lethal hello bug zapper spell...or something like that at least.
Shaking your head to get back on track you think,
Okay, game-plan time! The best thing I can do is prevent Twilight from using her spell on these guys, which should be awhile since there was at least two other attempts before the spell happens. In the meantime I should go around and try to take care of as many as I can, then when the spell happens stop Twilight and help Pinkie with leading them out.
Nodding your head at the plan you look around at the buzzing swarm and smirk.
Okay, time to exterminate some bugs, non-lethal style! Can’t exactly build a good image with the ponies if I’m covered in bug guts after all.
With that thought you pick up the Havoc Staff and...
CroisS
unnyPlay's Comment
Snatch one out of the air and hold it in front of you. The little monster looks at you with an innocent look and big sparkly googley eyes.
Nyeh! That won’t work on me you little pest I’m made of harder stuff! You steel yourself, but even still, despite knowing what will happen, they do look rather cute.
Hmmm, I wonder if I can keep one of these parasprites and train it to be one of my minions? It could be really useful for subduing enemies. Yes, I can see it now, when I face He-Man he shall face an endless swarm of adorable abominations! NYEEHHHH!!!
Sadly, you realize what the problem on that would be.
But then again how would I keep these tiny monstrosities away from my food? Aargh! There's always gotta be some kind of catch! You shall be safe for now, He-Man, but mark my words, I will have an army of super powered minions go after your ass, and have them make you mute like me, so you can never sing that stupid tune again!!! NYYYEEEHHHH!!!
With the obligatory tangent over with, you notice how some of the Parasprites have started clinging to your jaw, essentially giving you a beard of various colors.
...
AAAAHHHHHHH!!! GET THEM OFF!!! BEASTWOMAN, DO SOMETHING!!!!
You run around waving your arms and shouting 'NYEH!!!' as your BeastWoman wakes up in shock at your sudden shouting. She looks around with tired eyes as she mumbles out,
"Wha...Master what is nois-MASTER!?"
Noticing your panicking form with the bugs clinging to your face Tina takes action and tries to help, but can't get you to hold still so she can take the Parasprites off. In you desperation, you decide to bang your head against a wall to make them go away.
*CRASH*
Well, the good news is that it worked, the Parasprites fly away from your face. The bad news is that you now have a bad headache. The worse news is that you put a hole in the wall.
...
This is your fault, Beastwoman! NYEH!!! You shake your fist at her, which causes her to wilt her ears.
"Oops, sorry Master."
You roll your eyes at this and try and fail to get your head unstuck from the new hole in the library.
God dang it, I was hoping to avoid property damage for a reason! You think in resignation as your arms hang limply. Looks like I don't have a choice, sorry in advance Twilight!
With that mental apology you use your superior strength to break the wall. Just in time as Twilight runs down from the upper floors and runs right through the newly made hole, not even stopping to question it as she rushes past you. You blink owlishly at that.
Huh...I guess I'm still not used to Twilight's neuroticism in person. Oh well, time to get to work and defeat the adorable tiny monsters!
With that thought you gesture to Tina to follow you as you prepare to exit the same way Twilight did. But before you even step out the hole...
Jaro45's Comment
"Wait for me Twilight!" You turn and see Spike rushing down the stairs.
I almost forgot about Spike! Ah hell, what did he do this episode again? Ugh I can't remember! Time to take preemptive measures!
Thinking quickly you put your arm out and stop Spike before he runs past you. He looks at you in confusion and asks,
"Skeletor!? Why'd you stop me, I need to help Twilight!"
I know little guy, but I gotta make sure you don't get into any trouble while I go about my non lethal massacre.
You quickly sketch a picture of Spike breathing fire on the Parasprites with a big red x through it and show it to Spike. He looks confused for a bit before nodding in understanding and saying,
"Oh! You don't want me to use my fire on them right? Is it because I might accidently send them to the princess?"
Yeah, you nod your head at Spike’s assumption. I mean I don't know if you did that or not this episode, but hey can't be too careful.
"Okay, I promise I won't! Now I gotta catch up with Twilight and try to help her out!"
With that said the little drake continues on his way to get to Twilight. As you watch him run off you suddenly realize something that causes you to facepalm,
Ah drat I should have told him to tell Twilight not to use any magic! Dang it!
Sighing, you look around the town as the Parasprites begin to eat any food they come across.
Ugh, I'll just have to deal with it later. For now I got a town to ‘save’ and some annoying pests to take care of. Hmmm, I should save the staff for when I have a bigger audience.
With that thought you holster the Havoc Staff down the back of your poncho as you and Tina...
Twilight_the_spy's Comment
Start to run around while clapping to the beat of We Will Rock You. Well, you are anyway, Tina's just kinda clapping a random beat while following your example. Each clap causes a good handful of Parasprites to fall to the ground injured or dazed.
Take that you pitiful bugs! Fear the might of Skeletor and his Beastwoman's mighty hand claps! You Got Mud on Your Face!*CLAP CLAP CLAP*Big Disgrace!*CLAP CLAP CLAP*Somebody better put you back into your place!!!*CLAP CLAP CLAP*
You do this for some time, occasionally using the Havoc staff as a club to whack larger groups of bugs from the sky that even you struggle to reach.
“Ha Ha, This fun Master! *CLAP CLAP*” Tina cries out giddily as she frolics around like an excited dog, smacking countless bugs at once in her big paws.
Of course it is Fool! Besting vastly inferior enemies is the true enjoyment of super villainy! Nyehahahahaha!!!
Truth be told, you kind of go a little nuts with your rampage, as you take out your frustrations over the last few weeks on the floating tennis balls.
This is for all the times I couldn’t explain myself!*CLAP*
This is for thinking I’m a pervert for just wanting to pet cute fuzzy creatures!!!*CLAP*
This is for not showing the show in chronological order!!!*CLAP*
Needless to say, you save quite a few Ponies the headache of losing their market foods with your little therapy session, which they are grateful for.
Eventually the Parasprites all suddenly stop and look around in confusion. You and Tina, as well as many ponies on the street, look around in confusion as Tina asks,
"Uh, why bugs stop eating? Tina is confused."
You are also confused, until the Parasprites suddenly start eating everything but the food! Your eyes widen in surprise before you scowl and think,
Damnit! Twilight must have used the spell already! How long did I waste just smashing them with my hands? You look at the town clock and see that hours have passed. For real? Crud…guess it’s time to get to the next phase of the plan and find Pinkie!
With that thought you quickly show Tina a picture of Pinkie's cutiemark and a map.
"Pink pony can help?"
You nod your head and are about to begin your search when you suddenly hear a mare cry out in fright,
BrownDog's Comment
"NOOOO, NOT OUR FLOWERS!"
You and Tina's head turn towards the shout to see the flower trio unsurprisingly pass out and moaning on the ground as Parasprites eat their wares. You roll your eyes at the trio's predictable behavior before springing into action!
"AHH! The beast is here too! The Horror! The Horror!" Lilly bemoans while you whack the Parasprites away.
"It's...it's saving our flowers?" Rose says in confusion and you give a thumbs up before bounding away.
"Ummm...Thank you?" they say unsuredly.
You better be you drama queens!
You quickly leave the scene and try to go back to finding Pinkie, but you see a fancy restaurant is having all it’s tables and chairs being eaten.
More brownie points! You think in glee as you run over and slap and punt several of the monsters, and make an effort to 'shield the ponies' to make yourself look more heroic.
You also help the Gym Ponies and Bulk Biceps defend their equipment, and save as many hot tubs at the Spa that you can, while ponies give you praise.
“NYEH!!!” you cry out in glee, which still startles some of them, but the vast majority are thankful more than anything.
At one point, you snatch one of the puffballs from the air, and play fetch with Tina with it.
Hope Fluttershy doesn't see that one, you smirk as Tina does not go easy on the squealing pest.
“Creature, what in the world are you doing?” comes a startled voice. Looking behind you, you see both Foxtrot and O'Carrol, with their jaws dropped.
Huh, was wondering where you two had gotten off to. In response to your question you smirk and twirl the staff like a baton, helicoptering several parasprites from the air, that were trying to eat some ponies’ saddle bags.
"He's...he's trying to protect the citizens?" Foxtrot stammers.
"It seems so…This must be the disaster the dog talked about yesterday! If he saw this happening, then surely he'd do what he could to help," O'Carrol theorizes.
“If he saw all this happening, why didn’t he warn us?!” Foxtrot says huffily as a few parasprites start taking chunks out of her armor.
Because you would have Lassitered it up and not believed me.
You then spy another good PR move for you. Filthy Rich’s Grocery store, already ransacked earlier for the food is being chowed down on, so you rush forth and start bashing the little bastards.
“Y-You’re saving my store?” Filthy Rich asks surprised as a Parasprite eats his tie. “Why?”
Because it’s a big F-You to your wife pal! You think vindictively and give him the thumbs up.
However, just as you finish clearing the store of the bugs the ground begins to rumble. You and Tina look around in confusion as do many ponies.
The heck!? What's with all the shaking!?
"M-Master! Wha-what is with shaking ground!?" Tina mirrors your thoughts.
Before you can draw any explanation you see the answer, as a literal title wave of Parasprites turn around a corner and start heading your way. You can see them eating everything in their path, including the road!
Holy shit! Your eyes widen in shock. That wasn't in the episode, who the hell changed this to hard mode!?
Looking behind you and seeing the workers of the store cowering inside you look back to the swarm and gulp.
Oh hell! I have to stop that hoard and not just to spite Spoiled Rich! Come on brain, I need a plan here!
A few seconds pass before you realize you have quite the sizeable crowd of ‘saved’ ponies to witness your greatness. Smiling sinisterly, you hold aloft your mighty Havoc Staff for all to see.
Well, its the wrong franchise but it'll work. Let's Gandalf This Shit!!!
GotThisToLikeStorys's Comment
Magnus Orion's Comment
You slam your staff down with as much might as possible while yelling in your head,
YOU! SHALLLLLL NOT! PASSSSSSSSSS!
To your surprise the staff gets the job done and more. A shockwave of pure magic spreads through each and every living and non living thing in a 10 mile radius, you swear you even hear a timber wolf howl way in the distance.
...
Well at the very least that's how you feel in the moment as the magic from the staff passes through you. In actuality, a wave of energy concentrates over the swarm and hits them like a sucker punch. The tidal wave of bugs get sent flying away and everywhere but the store, and fall helplessly to the ground, most likely either knocked out or dead since they don't get up.
You drop to one knee and breathe deeply from the attack, and Tina puts a paw on your shoulder to steady you.
Whoa jeeze, that felt...amazing! Now if only I didn't feel so tired...
Looking behind you expecting to see looks of fear, you are instead surprised to see looks of awe on all of the ponies’ faces. You smirk slightly and rise to your feet, holding your staff up in a victory pose.
“NYEH!!!” you shout. They still flinch at the alien noise, but after a moment of hesitation, many of them start cheering, clopping their hooves, and thanking you pefusely.
Yes! Yes you miserable little ponies, give praise to your lord and savior Skeletor!!! At least some ponies won't want me stoned.
Shaking your head to clear those thoughts you stand up and look around. Despite your massive attack on the bugs there's still a lot of them all over the place. Sighing you think,
Okay that's enough solo work for now. Time to find Pinkie!
With a deep breath push your drowsiness down and jog away from the store in search of Pinkie. As you do you notice that Foxtrot and O'Carrol are missing, but you don't think to much of it as you focus on the task at hand.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
Allsmiles's Comment
As you and Tina run around the town smacking Pasparites with your staff, you realize that they are multiplying far faster that you can get rid of them.
Curses! You think, I can't kill these pests fast enough. I need a better weapon or method.
Your mind immediately goes to the ever so perfect solution that is fire, because fire has always solved major problems before. Then the image of Ponyville in flames cuts that solution short. You're supposed to save these ponies to better your image, not destroy them.
You shove that solution into your mental 'In case of sudden bout of Villiany and Wrongdoing' box, and remember that you were trying to find Pinkie, and you proceed to keep on searching for her, whacking at the bugs that keep on trying to eat your poncho.
God dang it Pinkie, where the hell are you!?
You sigh for the hundredth time as you start to do a mental checklist of the episode again since you neglected to do that before going off to beat up Navi’s ravenous cousins.
Okay! So, Parasprite infestation, big problem, Twilight makes it worse, yada yada...
You feel your eyebrow twitch at how you lost track of the time on that one.
Okay so what were the instruments again? They were a tuba, accordion, harmonica, banjo, and cymbals if I recall. Oh! And tambourine and... maracas? Did those come up? Yeah I think they did. Guess I'll try and find the tuba and maybe trombone if I can find one. Those are the only ones I can really play well.
You shiver slightly as memories of band camp surface to your mind.
Anyway, if I can help her get that done and the Parasprites to leave early, then I may have enough time to whittle the branch into a proper spear/pointy stick for Tina before the princess arrives! And stones me! For eternity! ... Yeah, uh, I might want to get crackin on that spear-making thing if I want to give it to Tina in time.
With another plan in mind you continue on your search for the crazy pink mare. However it isn't until a few moments later when...
Denneylaw's Comment
You are suddenly blind sighted by a pink blur. You tumble to the ground and groan in pain.
Ugh, I should really remember that thinking about finding Pinkie leads to Pinkie finding me....wait what's on my lips?
Opening your eyes you see, like the last time a pony ran into you, a muzzle on your lips. Your eyes widen as you quickly move the Pink pony off of you. You rub your mouth furiously while eating dirt.
God dang it! Why is this becoming a thing with me?! This isn’t some shipping fan fic damnit! Evil poisonous horse spit EWW!
After eating a few more handfuls of dirt, which Tina mimics, though she actually seems to enjoy eating it, you look at Pinkie and see her blushing red. You raise your brow at this as you think,
Huh, didn't take Pinkie as the embarrassed type. Honestly expected a joke or something.
Shrugging your shoulders you get up and help Pinkie up as well. She's blushing less now, as she stammers,
“Well that was awkward…”
Yeah, no kidding, you agree. You both stand there in silence for a few moments, before the sounds of screaming ponies brings you both out of it.
“Oh right, Parasprites” Pinkie says suddenly alert, “We’ll worry about lazy Anime clichés later. Right now I need your help Skelly!”
You nod and smack a Parasprite trying to eat your Poncho.
"Ah, I already see you’re on board, that saves time explaining things. Quick, use this to get them to the edge of town while I get the last of the instruments!"
She shoves a trombone into your hands before running off. You blink in surprise at Pinkie's sudden hand off before shrugging off and just putting it down as Pinkie being Pinkie.
You look at the trombone in your hands as you think,
EnderHooves's Comment
I may not be a prodigy, or a forth wall breaking soul, but I do have some experience with playing musical instruments. So the best thing I can do is go with the flow. Hmmm…
You glance over to the confused Tina as a wonderful idea comes to you.
Hey, maybe Tina can play as well? If I'm going to endear myself to these ponies, why not get my henchdog endeared as well? But where to get a snare drum?
"Oh, I almost forgot about you Tina! Here, take this snare drum and help Skelly out!"
And with that sudden reappearance, Tina suddenly now has a snare drum in her paws. Tina just stares at you in pure confusion as she mutters,
"Wha-How-.Pink pony just...what?"
Oh right, you haven't been fully exposed to Pinkie yet have ya?
With a slight airy chuckle you just pat Tina on the head. You gesture for her to hit the drum as you put the trombone to your lips and start belting out a tune nobody could hate.
Thankfully, Tina’s uncoordinated drum strikes match up perfectly and quite a sizeable portion of Parasprites start bobbing up and down with your tune.
That’s right you little bastards, follow the pied piper! You then start dance walking down the middle of town with countless Parasprites behind you while Tina confusedly follows your lead.
Many of the ponies you “rescued” earlier witness your magical prowess and cheer, while others who didn’t witness your supposed bravery look absolutely flabbergasted. Amongst them you spy Foxtrot and O’Carrol again, who look absolutely wrecked with their armor completely eaten through like swiss cheese.
“I-I…I don’t even…” Foxtrot blabbers before O’Carrol pats her on the back in sympathy and smiles at your stunt.
That’s right you doubting fools! Who’s the scary monster now?!
You motion your head for them to join you, and not knowing what else to do, they follow. You then notice other Parasprites in town breaking off and going north as you hear distant musical notes.
And that would be Pinkie I assume. You look back and see that your own procession is still in parade so you don’t stop playing.
“Master? Where we go with bouncing bug balls?” Tina asks from beside you. Since you can’t exactly stop playing to communicate you just nod to where you can see the other swarms going off to Pinkie.
Alright, if this doesn’t leave some kind of impression on the princess, I don’t know what will.
As you reach the outskirts of town, you spy Celestia’s carriage with all her guards surrounded by the Mane 6 and you tense a bit. You’re not the only one.
“It’s the Princess! Oh ponyfeathers Oak, we’re all disheveled!” Foxtrot panics from beside you in a Twilight-esque manner.
“No, we’re war beaten Foxy, this will show we’re dedicated and actually tried to help,” O’Carrol assures.
“Why ponies all nervous?” Tina asks. “Who they…Oh Wow! Giant pony over there!”
“Don’t say that about her! She’s sensitive about her weight!” Foxtrot shrieks nervously.
Despite your possible impending doom, this actually makes you smile.
Well, in for a penny. Time to ham it up!
You breathe in harder and start belting the tune louder as you elbow Tina to do the same.
Celestia, the Elements, and the guards all look to you as you incorporate your dance moves into the performance.
As you near, you see that Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Fluttershy look deeply confused, while Celestia actually seems enthused by your performance.
You take up position next to Pinkie Pie as she does her one man band routine and your hoard joins hers.
“My my my Mr. Skeletor, I’m glad to see you involved with this little parade,” she giggles, which still brings a bit of sweat to your brow.
“Ummm, Right! Skeletor wanted to help out, and since he can’t talk he felt he could help with the music!” Twilight lies her flank off.
“I can see that. I’m glad your progress with him is going so smoothly. Are you enjoying yourself Mr. Skeletor?”
You quickly flash a thumbs up and continue playing.
“We’re pretty sure that means Okay, or yes,” Twilight says.
“Astounding…If I might ask, what happened to O’Carrol and Foxtrot?” she says pointing to the disheveled guards.
“Uhh,”
“We….”
“Theeeeyyyyy fell down some stairs,” Twilight lies again.
“…Stairs?” Celestia says with a disbelieving face.
“Yes?” she chuckles nervously.
It’s quite clear that she doesn’t believe that for a second, but she chuckles and shakes her head, letting it go.
What are you up to horsey?
“And I assume this is the Diamond Dog friend he has made?” she asks in regard to Tina.
“Yes Princess, this is Tina, Skeletor’s first friend outside of our main group.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Tina,” Celestia nods.
“…Big pony have wings and horn! Why do no others have that?!” she asks innocently causing Foxtrot and Twilight to nearly have heart attacks. Celestia though giggles at that bluntness.
“Because I’m an alicorn. There’s not that many of us,” she says with a smile.
“Oh…” Tina nods as you give her a subtle kick to be quiet.
Be Silent Beast Brain! I don’t need any more reasons for execution!
“Well, as much as I’ve enjoyed this performance, I’m afraid I have to be going my faithful student. There’s been a report in Fillydelphia about…”
Oh right, they still mucked everything up and wrecking balled those things into the woods…Am I actually going to get out of this?! You think in glee.
After Twilight finishes giving her friendship report, she disrupts your joy and asks.
“Also Princess, weren’t you coming to check up on Skeletor as well?”
Twilight you traitor!!!
“Ah yes,” she says turning to Foxtrot.
“Lieutenant, in relation to your report a week ago, would you say that the mood is favorable or unfavorable in regards to Skeletor?”
The moth eaten Foxtrot looks from the princess to you and you give her the biggest pleading look you can.
Please Foxtrot, Don’t screw me on this! Please!
“The situation…” she says looking to Celestia, “Has deescalated ma’am. Fairly positive.”
“Ah, that’s good to hear. Keep up the good work Skeletor,” she says with a smile and you nearly melt.
I’m…I’m not going to be stoned today? I’m not going to be stoned!!! Oh Thank You Foxtrot! I’m going to hug and embarrass you later in celebration!!!
“NNNYYYEEHHH!!!” you cry out in happiness which startles the chariot guards and the others. Celestia only cocks her head at that in contemplation before she gives you a smile.
“I’m sorry that we can’t sit down and communicate right now Skeletor, but my citizens need me. We’ll have another chance though,” she then looks to Twilight. “Let’s reschedule this whole meeting in a few weeks shall we?”
“Yes! Definitely,” Twilight says enthusiastically as the Parasprites continue to bounce past her.
She then smiles and nods to her guards to start flying, but one last thing is on your mind.
“Nyeh,” you call out and she looks back to you. You hold up a picture you’ve drawn of Luna and point to it. “Nyeh?”
She smiles even more at that.
“She’s doing fine Skeletor, her strength is returning faster and faster every day. I’ll let her know you asked about her.”
And with that, she is lifted off into the sky. You stare at her disappearing form, and your body, tense from the anticipation finally releases as you fall backward onto the ground.
I’m alive…Sweet Tap Dancing Jesus, I’m Still Alive! You start laughing in relief on the ground, and in the background, you hear Twilight and the others apologizing to Pinkie Pie.
I just have to make sure I keep a good reputation so this doesn’t happen again, there’s so many mysteries here that I have to solve.
Then, nine faces appear above you, looking at you in concern, the Mane Six, Your Guards and your Beastwoman.
For some strange reason you feel like you've been lying on the ground, staring up at the ponies and one diamond dog's faces for a really long time. Like...almost a year long time. If you didn't know any better, you'd think you were trapped in time, frozen in this one spot waiting for your existence to have meaning once more...
…
…
…
Bah! Who needs that? You just got out of becoming a new pigeon toilet! You can have existential thoughts of your place in the universe later! For now you just need to express your joy at not being stoned, and smiling the biggest smile you've ever had is a good step in the right direction.
In fact, that's what you do! You smile one huge ass smile, causing the ponies staring at you to look at each other in confusion while Tina just copies your wide grin with one of her own. But you don't care, you’re just too God freaking happy!
“Are you alright?” Twilight asks once more.
BrownDog's Comment
Of course I'm alright Tara, I'm on top of the freaking world! you think as you pop up, full of energy despite the hours of dancing down the street beating up sentient tennis balls.
You then immediately turn to Foxtrot who looks startled.
"What? What are you-EEEPP!!!" she shrieks as you pick her up and start twirling around with her as she screams.
One good word and you were off the hook. She may be harsh, but deep down she cares, just like in true Lassiter fashion.
You then set her down and pat her head to calm her down because she is visibly shaking from that.
Sorry I scared you. Sorry I scared you...
While Foxtrot just continues to shake in befuddlement, you turn your huge grin to all the others as you think,
I can't contain myself! I gotta express my happiness right here, right now! Oooh...Somebody stop me!
Allsmiles's Comment
Hugs for Twilight! Hugs for Rarity, for Rainbow, for Applejack, for Fluttershy and of course Pinkie! Oh, and of course hugs for Tina! And then for O'Carrol! Everypony gets Skeletor hugs!
With each thought you glomp said pony into a hug, causing either confusion or acceptance at your actions. Pinkie just giggles and hugs you back and Fluttershy just let out an adorable 'eep' at the sudden contact. Tina, however, just seems confused even more than the ponies at your actions.
A little disconcerting that she might not know what a hug is...buuutttt you’re too happy to put full focus on that. So instead you just gleefully run off to a nearby meadow as there were no more ponies to hug to express your happiness.
BrownDog's Comment
"NNNNYYYYEEEHHH!!!" you then cheer and skip around the meadow, the weight of the world no longer on your shoulders.
"Wha...What was that about?!" Foxtrot stammers.
"I think he's grateful ma'am, and really excited too from the looks of it" O'Carrol says with a smirk while the others shrug off their confusion and just giggle at your antics.
"I just...*Ahem* I just told the princess the truth, nothing more. After helping defend the citizens like the creature did it was only fair after all."
This catches the Mane Six's attention at the news of your bravely fought battle against the blackhole stomach Parasprites, but again you’re too far off in happy land to really 'say' anything about it.
"Defended the citizens? With a trombone?" Twilight asks.
Pinkie scoffs and rolls her eyes at Twilight's question before she says,
"Not just a trombone Twilight! He was using the Super Jazzy Trombone Mk. 4! It's only the most synchronized and pleasant sounding trombone on the market now! They're super expensive, but my patent 'Give Me This Thing or We're All DOOMED!' face got me that baby for only half its price! Talk about a steal right!? *squee*"
The others just stare at the smiling pink pony as her randomness sinks in, but eventually they all just shake it off as 'Pinkie being Pinkie' as O'Carrol explains,
"Well, it’s a bit more than just using an expensive trombone. Skeletor has spent hours this morning subduing this infestation via physical force."
"HE HAS?!" nearly every mare asks.
"Yes. Master and I smack plenty of tennis balls. Some still probably lying on ground. Might be tasty if ponies hungry," Tina says.
Fluttershy for her part, doesn't faint at that declaration, just shakes quite a bit by the implications.
"But yes. Many of the citizens sing his praises ma'am," Foxtrot reports.
"Maybe that's why he's so happy. He's been feeling down for awhile now," Pinkie points out as you continue to Nyeh it up rolling around in the grass like a dope.
Twilight adds in her two cents as well,
"Yeah I noticed that too. Lately he seemed pretty distraught about something, but I just assumed it was because the ponies in town have been...less than welcoming after Trixie showed up. Was there something else he was worried about Pinkie?"
"I'm pretty sure that was part of it, but..." Pinkie frowns slightly as her mane becomes a little bit un-poofy before she continues, "I feel like that wasn't the biggest thing though, ya know? But Skelly wouldn't budge whenever I visited him at your place Twilight."
This causes confused and worried glances among all the ponies as they look over in your direction, but you just lay on the ground grinning madly at the sky. At this point it should be mentioned that you'd come down from your little happiness high, but considering you don't feel like explaining why you were so upset you’re now just pretending to still be off in la-la land.
Sorry everybody, but that would lead to way to many questions...
Your reluctance is understandable in the grand scheme of things. After all how would you be able to explain that the Elements of Harmony could turn people to stone if the only time you saw them was purifying Luna? As well as trying to explain the pure fear and dread you had about it all to a bunch of beings whose scariest thing they've gone through (for now canon wise) was a crazed alicorn would leave a bad taste in your mouth. That, and you have this thing about bothering others with your own problems.
You've seen plenty of cartoons and you know that not asking for help or explaining why you’re upset isn't a good idea at all. But you've been like this ever since you were a kid, and since your sister isn't around to pry your mouth open (sometimes literally back in the day), you don't plan on letting them know anything.
"Oh I'm sure the creature was just worried about how the Princess would react to his recent accidents. Nothing to it than that."
And thanks to Foxtrot, they have come up to their own reason why you were so down in the dumps that's close enough to the truth to work. You’re pretty sure you still saw Pinkie and Twilight giving you concerned looks from the corner of your eyes, but you’re sure it was nothing.
Besides the show made it a point to show how much these ponies take things at face value, so as long as I never bring it up its all good.
And like that the topic of your distress is dropped as the others start discussing plans to fix the town,
After you pretended to 'calm down' the ponies came up with a decent plan to fix the damages to the town, which was to actually do that. And since the show never bothered to portray what disaster clean up was like in Ponyville (except that one time with Derpy at the Town Hall, but that doesn't really count) you were on your own with helping out.
You helped mitigate Twilight's little 'oopsie' with the parasprite spell, but things still needed a lot of tender love and care. You were all okay with that though, as helping in this period would show that you're willing to be helpful to ponies when violence isn't involved, an important lesson. Plus, it would increase gratitude and positive feelings towards you, something you very much need if you're going to live in Ponyville... as opposed to becoming a nice backyard decoration or banished to the woods.
Time to show these ponies why hands are superior to hooves when handling tools, you think gleefully as you go to work. And who knows, maybe if they see how good I am, I can get extra cash as a handyman. I’m a God of Dancing, but that’s a lot of work for the few coins I get.
While your time back on Earth was spent more as a lazy slob playing video games or watching cartoons, you did have to do the occasional woodwork here and there around the house, usually involving doors. You’re not afraid to admit that you were a bean pole that couldn’t lift jack squat, so you never did big projects, but your frequent destructive pranking and “chemistry” experiments led you to knowing how to patch up holes fairly well. Plus there was that time you worked at Home Depot for a week before you were fired.
Heh, look at me now Home Depot! Mishandling of the forklift my butt! Now I am the forklift! You think in triumph as you pick up a lumber beam all by yourself.
You may not be Eternian Strong anymore, but you are still more jacked than you’ve ever been in your life, and most of the materials and tools you are handling are child sized, so it’s still a breeze repairing holes. And thankfully for all of Ponyville, patching up holes in buildings and roofs is the majority of your tasks.
You do all these repairs with a smile and a wonderful feeling as the town’s desire to lynch you has gone down massively.
All in all, it’s turning out to be a very, very productive day already.
And while there are still a lot of ponies that seem wary of you, the ones that witnessed your deeds thank you profusely. It's like the time you went to the animal shelter and all the puppies came running up to your legs. They're only slightly bigger than said dogs, so the comparison fits.
Yes you equine fools! Love me and despair! Nyehahahahaha!!!
So as the day drags on, and you patch hole after hole, eventually you find yourself at Sugar Cube Corner which took the biggest brunt of the damage by the little buggers.
Still in a rhythm with Tina supplying you wood and nails you let your mind wander as you lose yourself in the joyful monotony of the work.
EnderHooves's Comment
Today’s a good day. Once this is over I can walk the streets once more without feeling like an outcast…well, as much as one. Still, it’s just one more good deed on the road to discovering why the hell I’m even here and what all these mysterious side quests I have mean.
You stop hammering momentarily as you cup your chin in thought.
Because yeah, if the Stand Arrow is here and the Alchemy from Fullmetal as well, and of course my Havoc Staff too, wouldn't that mean there's a bunch of different magic systems going on!?
Your eyes widen at that discovery before they return to normal size.
Hmmm, maybe, but then again maybe not. My Havoc Staff is just Grogar’s Staff so it fits into their world, so could the others as well?
As your thoughts drift off you suddenly get blinded by the sun due to your eyes wandering aimlessly during your thoughts. You growl a 'Nyeh' in anger as you quickly look back to the half patched hole while thinking,
Ack! Stupid sun, now I lost track of what I was thi-wait a minute!
A new idea hits you, one you’re honestly surprised hasn't occurred to you yet. As this idea hits you, you don't notice Tina coming towards you with some more wood for the hole. When you don't respond when she reaches you, her eyes widen in realization as she mumbles aloud,
"Oh Master Skeletor must require more wood! Tina sorry Master, I will get more wood now!"
And off the diamond dog goes, forgoing dropping off the wood she already has as she goes to get more. Meanwhile, your obliviousness to the situation lingers as your idea hits you dead on.
Hamon! If the Stand Arrow is here then, different magic system or not, that means JoJo mechanics can be applied here! And since getting Hermit Purple isn't a perfect guarantee either, then who says I can't use what JoJo started with and should have been used more often!?
You start to grin widely as a plan begins to form in your mind. The nearby ponies helping you patch up notice your grin and either look concerned or shove it off as you being you.
I've always had a good pair of lungs on me, and since I’m not using them to talk at the moment, I could put them to good use. I’m sure I can pull of Hamon breathing with enough practice. How hard could it be?
Your thoughts pause at that as your face contorts into confusion.
Actually, if Hamon is a thing here, just called something else, then who could I have help teach me? I can't use any reference books since I still can't read the native language, and they might not even exist or be open to the public if they do. So who....
You hum in thought for a few moments, once again not noticing Tina returning with even more wood. It looks like her legs are shaking slightly from the weight, but she still pushes through to deliver. However, once again your failure to acknowledge her leads her to go off and get more wood, still carrying the hefty amount she already has.
It is as Tina leaves that you receive your brainstorm,
Aha! Zecora managed to stand on water during that episode when Trixie came back for revenge, didn't she? She probably is my best bet, or at least the closest zebra to ask about if Hamon is real or not. Then again there's always Celestia, being the princess of the sun and all that, but-
*CRASH*
You are snapped out of your thoughts as a loud crashing noise happens behind you. Turning around in surprise you see your Beastwoman under a large pile of wood. Thankfully cartoon logic came into play and she doesn't looked hurt aside from a minor scratch.
"Nyeh?" you ask at this site with a raised brow.
"Is this enough wood, Master?" she responds, her eyes swirling dizzily, like legit swirling Pokémon style.
Realizing that your long rambling probably lead to this situation, as well as the confused looks from the nearby ponies, you can't help but let out a nervous chuckle like Nyeh as you think,
Okay, gotta stop getting on tangents when working. I'll just add this to my Side Quest list and think about it more later. For now let’s do some damage control, come on Beastwoman. Stop chasing the floating bones and help me move all this wood.
Needless to say, it took a bit longer then it should have to repair Sugar Cube Corner. And the other side of town had a noticeable lack of wooden planks for their repairs...
A FEW HOURS LATER
BrownDog's Comment
After a few more hours of hard work you and the rest of the ponies helping with repairs finished up the last few jobs. You’re a little surprised at how fast all the repairs went, but then you remember that this town is the center for all things disastrous on a regular basis. While the worst of those cases hasn't happened yet, it still isn't that much of a shock that the town is quick to fix up any damages caused.
While everybody was congratulates themselves for the hard work you manage to track down Rarity and pull out your notepad.
“Mr. Skeletor, if this is about your clothes it’s still going to be some time till-“
You cut her off when you show her your newest creation. A simple looking Diamond Dog vest like Rover and the others’, but matching Beastman’s coloration. You also added in a certain emblem that you thought would go good with your Skeletorness. That, and it follows how your staff looked to a degree, so a bonus.
You point between the drawing and the diamond dog in question, who is busy running from a overly excited Pinkie, to get the point across. You would have felt bad for the poor dog, if you weren't the one who set Pinkie after her. A little harmless prank to distract her so you could talk to Rarity in private.
“Just eat the cupcake already!” Pinkie screeches.
“No! It got sprinkles! Tina hates sprinkles!” your minion cries out as she tries to escape the pink blur.
Rarity looks between your drawing and the spectacle before her a few times before she finally guesses,
"You want me to make that for Tina? Is that it?"
You nod your head ecstatically with a smile at her question.
Of course! She cannot be a true Beastman-woman without the original’s design and an emblem to mark her as my loyal minion!
Rarity hums in thought before smiling and saying,
"Well I already have your other orders, so I really shouldn't accept this," at your disappointed look Rarity's smile grows as she continues with a teasing tone, "But~ since you did help keep my Boutique safe from those nasty bugs, I think I can make an exception. Besides, I do believe the diamond dog market is rather empty at the moment, and you've given me some wonderful ideas! Ta-Ta for now Skeletor!"
As she walks off with what you consider a borderline greedy look in her eyes, you can only think of one thing,
Somehow I feel like I just made a major goof...Ah well, future me's problem!
With that thought you go off to try and find Pinkie before she forces Tina to eat dozens of cupcakes.
A few moments after you stop the Pink menace and “rescue” your minion, the ponies who helped out start saying their goodbyes and begin heading off for their respective homes. Through that crowd, you see your two guards approaching so you figure it’s time to head back to the library.
Yeah, it’s about time for me to knock out anyway. Way too much running around today... you stretch a bit as you think this, surveying the ponies as they all walk home and you can't help but a gain a serene smile at the sight.
denneylaw's Comment
You know after the last few weeks of panicking it’s great to finally relax. Plus, I finally got my sta-WHAT THE!?
Your pleasant thoughts come to an end when you notice you no longer have your Havoc Staff on your back. You frantically look around, trying to see where it might have fallen out of your makeshift sling and you eventually find it...in Bookhorse's purple magical grip.
Said pony is walking towards you after joining up with your two guards and she notices your glare as she gives one of those 'oh I knew this would happen' sighs your sister would give whenever one of your pranks went south.
What!!? After everything I did I still can't keep it??! Come on Purplesmart, what more do you want from me?? I saved the town, I helped with the infestation, even the princess trusts me now...okay that one was a stretch. At the least she sees me as entertaining enough not to stone me!
"Sorry, Skeletor, but I still need to run tests on this before I can give this to you again. The magic output it gave today was far stronger then in my past tests, and I need to make sure it’s not unstable."
You can't help but think owlishly at that before giving a reluctant nod and sigh,
Well, at least it can't get any wo-wait what was that about magical out-
"Oh, and Skeletor? Don't think I didn't notice the hole you made in the wall. Don't worry it’s been patched up like everything else, but we will have a talk about proper emergency safety procedures."
-and now I'm in for a lecture, great! Curse you, Beastwoman, I blame you for this!!! You think, shaking your fist at her. To this Tina has the decency to look embarrassed for her actions. With the loss of your staff and a Twilight’s lecture in your future, you don’t notice Pinkie hoping towards you till she’s clinging to your back like some sort of monkey.
LATER THAT NIGHT
We now find you once again residing in Sugarcube Corner. While Twilight's place was better suited for both you and Tina to sleep at, Pinkie insisted she get some one-on-one time with you that night. You’re not particularly sure why, but you just summed it up to Pinkie being Pinkie. Plus after your “Bravery” the Cakes felt a bit more comfortable letting you stay. And while Tina is curled up on a bed of pillows on the ground, you sit on your futon doing the only logical thing with your time.
Sunbro4life's Comment
Plotting.
You flip to a special page in your notebook and circle key episode events that have yet to happen.
Alright, since the episode showings don’t appear to exactly be in the correct Timeline, I have to be prepared for what comes next. Anything from Season 1 and 2 could happen at any moment aside from the Gala, Discord, and the Wedding, but everything else could be fair game.
You think to how some episodes would be in Winter, during Apple Harvesting times which would be in Fall, and jot them down, along with the unknowns in what could be Summer or Spring.
Okay, now I just need contingencies for when these episodes happen, no matter what order. When that dragon shows up, I need to be as far away as possible to avoid screwing things up. Maybe Lyra will be able to hang out on that day or something.
As you continue to plot for future events, you briefly skim over the one’s you’ve pre-drawn for good visions down the road.
The best thing about future vision, it doesn’t matter how far in the future it is, you think smugly before you tap your pencil to your chin. Though I’ve got a good plan for events I know for sure that are happening, but what about the unknown?
strangephantasm's Comment
Well now that I don't have to worry about being a monument to mankind’s sins, I can focus on the next important thing at hand! Finding Evil Lyn! Nyehyehyehyehyeh!
You start chuckling in nyehs before you quickly cough and think,
Wait no, that can come later once I have access to the Mirror Portal if that's canon, or I find another evil female villain aside from Trixie...maybe Starlight? Wait no focus mind! I need to find Megan, there are way too many questions surrounding her to ignore! But first is how do I convince the others to go to those locations in the map? I could wait till the Cutie Map happens...but that's so far away!
You sit in your makeshift bed for quite some time trying to think of ways to get to the locations marked on the old Equestrian map are, but eventually you come up with nothing and decide to sleep on it.
But before you can even lie down...
"Skelly...you awake?"
You quirk your eyebrow over at Pinkie's prone form on her bed in confusion.
Geeze Pinks I know you have a lot of energy, but even you should to be tired out by now.
Despite your thought you let out a quiet 'Nyeh' to answer her. Without getting up from the bed Pinkie asks you,
"Skelly...you know you're one of my best friends right?"
You give a quiet 'Nyeh' in what you hope is a affirmative tone.
"Best friends...tell each other their problems right?"
You can feel your eyes widen in shock before you think,
Oh Pinkie...please don't tell me you’re still worried over my little sad mood are ya? Even I'm over that!
For some reason that thought feels like a lie to you, but you ignore that feeling. Instead you just stay quiet in the vain hope that Pinkie would let it drop. It seems like it will work, as Pinkie doesn't question you again for a good couple of minutes.
But you forgot one important thing...
Master of Shadows's Comment
You’re dealing with Pinkie, who is borderline a combination of Rainbow and Applejack stubbornness when it comes to her friends. Case in point, you blink and suddenly find the pink pony right in front of you. You resist the urge to let out a nyeh in surprise, but that doesn't stop your eyes from widening in shock.
"Come on Skelly! I know something’s still bothering you, and you can tell me! Please, tell your auntie Pinkie what's up!"
Auntie? I think I'm older then you Pinkie...wait how old are you ponies again!? They’re high schoolers in the Equestria Girls movie, but they can own their own place of business? Crap my fandom logic is messing with my canon logic!
Pinkie takes your silence from your thoughts loosing track as her answer before she says,
With that said Pinkie lowers her head to where you can't see her face, much to your immense confusion.
Wait what? A Disney reference!? The hell are you quoting a evil lady for Pinkie!?
Your thoughts are answered when Pinkie snaps her face up with the worst, downright dirtiest face you have ever seen her make. It's pure despicable, it's underhanded, and downright mean! She's giving you...the saddest looking puppy dog eyed look you've ever seen!
"Pwease Skelly? Pwease tell me why you were so sady wady?"
…
…
…
Look in real life it’s not that effective, but on a bunch of already adorable tiny ponies it’s a lethal weapon!
Case in point, any and all resistance you had crumbles and vanishes as if it never existed in the first place. It was like Pinkie just nuked your entire defenses with a single adorable look, and there was nothing you could do about it.
Letting out a sigh, you decide to (to the best of your limited abilities) tell Pinkie why you were so upset and how scared and freaked out you were. But the question is...how much do you tell her?
As your pink friend stares sadly at you, a thousand thoughts run through your head as you try to figure out just how to explain to her that you thought you were going to become the town’s newest tourist attraction without freaking her out.
Which, all things considered, is harder then you'd think considering how surprisingly tense she is at the moment.
Okay, first things first lets calm down the pink pony!
With that thought you...
Allsmiles's Comment
Pick up the pink pony in a attempt to help lessen the tension. After all she is adorable, too adorable not to hug.
Adorable ponies get hugs. That's logic.
Your hug seems to do the trick as you feel her relax slightly as she hugs you back. After a few moments you set her back down, and she gives you a grateful look as you do.
"Thanks Skelly, I needed that. Now..." Her grateful look returns to her serious one as she continues, "are you going to tell me what's got you all mopey frowny lately?"
You scratch the back of your head nervously at her question, as while you did mentally give in to tell the pink pony what's up your still not too sure how to work this all out.
Jaro45's Comment
The way you see things, there are two ways to play this. One (the stupid way) is to tell Pinkie just enough of the truth to mollify her concerns and get her off your back, (Metaphorically, she'd love a piggyback ride anytime) but this plan will most likely come back to bite you in the ass harder than an angry Trap Jaw. On the other hand you won't have to explain to her how you knew you'd be stoned via the Elements without knowing howthe Elements could do that.
Plan two is to trust her completely and tell Pinkie everything. She will (probably) understand the seriousness of your words and actions and keep them to herself with a good ol'Pinkie Promise. You could practically see the exchange between the two of you now if you just told her the whole truth...
"Skelly, this is a whole lot to take in! But it sounds like you want to help keep Equestria safe, riiiight?"
Of course I do! All my stuff is here.
"Goodie! Now I promise I won't tell anyone, and it’s not like holding this secret from all my friends could possibly blow up in our faces down the line and cause untold amounts of avoidable drama and angst if you just didn't tell me the whole truth, right?"
…
…
…
Even in your mental projections of her, Pinkie still manages to say the worst case scenario and make you question your entire plan and if it was even a decent one in the first place.
Okay, maybe I should go the middle ground and give up bits of the truth?
You squint your eyes at that thought, since it wasn't exactly the perfect outcome you'd want. Saying only bits of the truth would help explain things for now, but if something were to happen in the future that could question those bits of truth...well let’s just say you've been in enough situations where that leads to massive future headaches.
"Skelly, don't leave a mare hanging here!" she harrumphs and you feel your brow twitch at that.
Pinkie, for all your awesome traits I can't help but forget just how little patience you have sometimes. Nothing compared to Rainbow, but ugh.
You put your finger up in the universal 'give me a few moments' gesture...but at Pinkie's confused look you can't help but facepalm as you think in annoyance,
Right, ponies. God I miss Gilda...
You quickly flip through your notebook to a clock ticking away, to which thankfully Pinkie understands and turns to stare off at some random thing in her room to allow you to think. You decide to ignore the slightly annoyed look on Pinkie's face at having to wait a bit longer as you...
EnderHooves's Comment
Do what you do best when stuck in a situation, go off on a mental tangent.
It might be good idea to just tell Pinkie about Discord and what the Elements did to him as just another future vision, say that it would have the same effect on me as on him. I doubt it would affect their interaction too much, heck me just being there will throw it off quite a bit anyway.
You can't help but get a slight feeling of dread on the inevitable meet-up with the lord of chaos. You may be a fan of him and all the crazy stuff he does, but that was after he was reformed. Before hand he was a pretty big jerk to everyone, and you personally wouldn't want to be discorded anytime soon.
Sadly, I doubt there would be a way to avoid him before his reformation since the Mane Six would probably have to take me with them when they get summoned since they're the ones in charge of me. I mean there is the chance I could be off on an adventure by then trying to finish my side quest list before all that happens.
At that thought you can't stop a deadpanned look from forming on your face as you think,
Course that all depends if I can gain the trust of everyone long enough to actually go on said 'adventure.' I shouldn't get my hopes up though, I could get railroaded into the plot or something. Maybe I could flip to my discord "prediction" and say that it was a flash into the past? Premonitory visions can go backwards sometimes, right? Maybe play it off as a bit of both fut-
"Alright Skelly, times up! Tell auntie Pinkie what's wrong!"
Before you could think too much into the possibility of using premonitory visions you are snapped out of your off-tangent thought with another Pinkie puppy-dog eyed look. Giving a sigh you just think,
Ugh, screw it. Thinking about it is getting me nowhere. Besides, if I start predicting things about Discord, that’s just going to change things up drastically since they’ll be expecting him. If all else fails, I’m just going to hang out with Zecora in the woods if I start seeing cotton candy clouds in the sky.
With that thought you...
BrownDog77's Comment
Allsmile's Comment
Strangephantasm's Comment
Heed the loud part of you screaming not to not lie completely to the bringer of smiles and take the Applejack approach. After all letting Hathorse down would just be terrible wouldn't it?
You flip to a page and start drawing yourself, of course you are decked out in your true gear and boney face, but Pinkie gets the gist since she's seen you draw yourself quite a few times.
You draw an angry Celestia pointing at you and then the Mane 6 blasting a Rainbow at you and turning you into stone.
When you show this to the hyperactive pony, her mouth drops.
"But...but why would Princess Celestia be mad at you? And why would we blast you with the Elements of Harmony?" she asks aghast.
You flip back to a picture of Trixie, and then gently mime out when you first yelled and scared the town.
"But...scaring ponies like that wouldn't be enough," she says confused. "And what's happening to you in this picture? Are we..."
She trails off and looks deeply disturbed, and since they don't know that the Elements can stone people yet, you can guess what she's thinking since you're drawing body is all greyed out.
No, no no, I'm not dying, you shake your head and look around for a visual guide. Surprisingly you see Rocky in the corner.
Well...at least he was already set up before she goes nuts, you shrug and point at the pile of rocks.
Pinkie looks back and forth between her rocks and your picture and you before she gasps.
"You think you were going to be turned into rocks?" she gasps.
Close enough, you nod.
"Can the Elements do that? I just thought they made ponies less evil or something!" she shouts and you cover her mouth and point at Tina.
"ZZZ-Don't wanna eat the tatzlworm-ZZZZ" she sleep mumbles.
"Oh, sorry," Pinkie whispers. "But seriously, how would...GASP" she looks to you in worry. "Was this one of your visions?"
You nod since it's convenient.
"Sooo...does that mean we're still going to blast you wi-"
"Nyeh," you cut her off and shake your head.
You then point to her, and to pictures of her friends and draw a stop sign.
"We...stopped that?" she guesses and you smile.
"GASP! We can change your predictions?" she says in amazement.
Well, I couldn't stop Trixie's fate it seems, but I did change Gilda's so...I guess? You ponder as you just nod.
"Oh wow, this changes everything...but if you saw all this, why didn't you tell me?" she says sounding hurt.
You really don't know how to convey that you didn't want her to cry or worry them since you "knew" that you could change fate, so you just pat her on the head and give her a sad smile. You think she gets it.
"Well, whatever your reason, show us next time," she scolds like your sister would. "Even if it's super scary and serious, let us know. We can help you change the future, you don't have to do it all on your own."
Well, after a certain season, I won't know any of the future or if it's changed myself...but thanks for the vote of confidence Pinkie.
"Nyeh," you nod and give her a hug.
As you hug the pink pony, a small part of you can't help but point out how in your favor this situation is. Not only did you managed to clear things up with your pony friend, but you also have a good excuse for whenever one of your visions go wrong due to your presence effecting the show's timeline.
Of course this fact, and the slight manipulative nature behind it, doesn’t really hit you as you are focused on something else, namely the fact that your head feels heavier than it did before you and your pink friend started hugging.
Ending the hug, much to Pinkie's confusion/disappointment, you look over to a nearby mirror. You can barely make yourself out in the dark, but what you do see causes your eyebrows to skyrocket in confusion.
What the hell!?
CroisSunnyPlay's Comment
You hadn't noticed it at first, but sometime during your talk with Pinkie, Gummy has climbed up on your head and sat there unmoving. How you did not feel that you don't know, and if there's something you know spells "DANGER" it's the unknown.
"Oh hey, Gummy is awake too," you hear your favorite cotton candy pony say.
But because of her voice, you're hit with a horrible, terrible realization. Remembering back to the show on the few instances the little alligator has appeared, it hits you how Gummy sometimes appeared out of nowhere, just like his owner.
Oh my God, the pinkie-ness is contagious! I have been exposed! SAVE ME, BEASTWOMAN!!!
But Tina only rolls over and shudders, mumbling something about "evil sprinkles".
Dammit Beastwoman, how dare you! To leave me to a fate such as this!
But then you pause that train of thought as another one runs it over, leaving no survivors.
But would that really be that bad? You rub your chin in contemplation. I mean, if I had the power of the Pink, then He-man would never see me coming! Yes, I can already see it! He-Man walking into a seemingly empty room, when out of nowhere, COMES SKELETOR! YOUR DEFEAT IS AT HAND HE-MAN, FOR I WIELD THE POWER OF PINK!!! NYYYEEEHHHH!!!
Yes! You're doomed now!
AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Your trains of thought crash, go up in flames and explode, then explode again as you swear the pony looking at you innocently just invaded your fantasy.
...Maybe I should just sic Pinkie on He-Man, would save me a lot of trouble.
But now that you're done with the obligatory unrelated tangent (and took a moment to mourn the passengers that were in the accident involving your trains of thoughts), you can focus on the matter at hand.
Literally, Gummy somehow got one of your fingers and refuses to let go.
...IT'S YOUR FAULT BEASTWOMAN!!! AGAIN!!! NYYYEEEEEEHHHHHH!!!!
After a few moments of desperately trying to get the toothless baby alligator off your fingers with a quietly laughing Pinkie watching your misfortune you finally manage to get him off. You carefully toss the little bugger with an annoyed grunt into Pinkie mane, to which he immediately chomps down on much to her amusement.
I know you can be random Pinks, but even I think laughing as a toothless swamp dino chewed on my hair is a bit of a stretch.
Ignorant to your thoughts Pinkie gives you one last smile before she says,
"Okay, that's enough serious talk! It's getting late and Pinkie needs her sleep to bake all kinds of deliciousness for tomorrow! Just remember Skelly, whenever another one of those meanie visions show up, just tell me and the others and we'll help you out lickity-split!"
Resadur164's Comment
Deciding you'd rather not give her a straight answer in case (when) something like this happens again, you just pat her head while giving a gentle 'nyehing' chuckle as well as another quick hug.
Pinkie gives you a look like she knows what you’re trying to do, but she just shakes it off and flops down on her bed. And as you'd expect of someone as hyper as Pinkie is, she's out like a light as soon as her head hits the pillow.
You can't help but wipe your brow as you sigh in relief.
Phew, glad that's over with. Now then, where was I? Oh right!
With that thought you go back to your notepad and...
Allsmiles's Comment
You quickly redraw the emblem you made for Tina's vest, seeing as how branding is veryimportant for keeping minions in line and for reminding those outside your rule just whose minions they're dealing with. You don't want to forget the emblem you chose since Rarity took the only pages with it on them for Tina's design, so you redraw it a few times to get the hang of it. Plus eventually you hope to get to the point of being able to draw it as fast as possible, in order to leave your mark quickly in case you need to run.
After some brand recognition and word of mouth, I’ll have more than enough minions spray painting this all over the world, you think in determination.
It is as you are redrawing the emblem for the third time that your mind begins to wander yet again to a familiar topic.
Speaking of minions I really need to peg down who Evil Lyn should be. Unless by some miracle an attractive human girl my age who likes cartoons as much as I do shows up, I’m stuck with only having candidates that can fill the hammy evil criteria. You ponder, briefly feeling sad over the few dates you had that ended because you talked too much about animated children’s shows.
And repressing those nights once more…Nyeh, there we go, you smile as you tap your pencil to your chin. But yeah, Trixie would, indeed, be a very good choice for an Evil Lyn, if only she hadn’t run away. With how wonky and fast these episodes are smooshed together, I have no idea how long it’ll be till she comes back for vengeance. But if I can win her over before that, I’ll have the perfect over the top henchwoman.
You write her name down as candidate number one.
Hmmm, Luna is kind of over the top in the early days with how she speaks and stuff…but she’s got duties and stuff, plus she’s still recovering. Starlight Glimmer was pretty evil when she was a cult leader…but then again, she’d be harder to control as she could kill me. Sunset Shimmer is emotionally unstable and got the sneering attitude…but she may not be cannon so…
You put a question mark next to her name, before looking back at your other three choices, imagining them wearing ponified versions of Evil Lyn’s armor.
Then there’s also Gilda, I bet she’d be a bro and join my evil army. I mean, she has the same voice actress as Revy from Black Lagoon, which is a good bonus. But yeah, her and the other three all work really well in the armor aspect, but that's probably just because they’d look adorably evil in any dark colored armor they wear.
You ponder some more as you try to figure out who would mentally fit your second in command the best. Your Beastman substitute is too lovable and happy and a female, so you’ve really got to balance it out with the hamminess.
Ultimately, Trixie's got the better show-presence and drama for a good right hand villainess, you conclude as you circle her name. But if I can’t get her, then I’d take anyone willing to fill that position. Really, the problem is going to be filling the OTHER roles, you think as you draw the symbol once more.
During your fixing up of the town it occurred to you that Skeletor had far more henchmen then just Beastman and Evil Lyn, and while those other henchmen weren't as popular or decent as those two you wouldn't be able to call yourself a true Skeletor unless all the rolls were filled.
I’m definitely going to need a Trap Jaw at some point, but that’ll be tough since ponies don’t exactly have prosthetic lower jaws…Maybe just someone who can bite really hard without the metal flair? You look over at Gummy who is still attached comfortably onto Pinkie’s mane and consider him. If there’s one thing you learned from Animal Planet, it’s that Gators and Crocodiles have the strongest bite force in the animal kingdom.
…Nah, you shake your head. He’s still a baby and has no teeth. Besides, it would be pretty scummy of me to use Pinkie's pet as a evil minion, Skeletor is a villain, not a fiend after all. Hmm, Spike can bite through gems like it’s nothing…but he’s not exactly villain material. But there are other young dragons out there…
You think about the group of teen dragons that Spike met/will meet in Dragon Quest, and a crazy plan does take place.
I’m willing to bet all I have to do is beat up the weakest of those dragons, kidnap them, and force them to be my minion. Even a weaker dragon has a strong jaw…though I’m definitely gonna need some fire proof armor or something.
It’s an insane plan, but a plan none the less.
And yet another side quest added. Although getting a dragon is going to be much easier than getting a Mer-Man. I wonder if Sea Ponies exist? The Dazzlings were the closest thing I guess, but again, questionable cannonity. But who knows, maybe I’ve been gone for a million years back home and the show has concluded and they just brought about every race from the old G1 show. It was the middle of Season 7 when I somehow got here…
You then let out a big yawn and you realize, you’re both mentally and physically exhausted from the day.
Nyeh, I’ll worry about you later Mer-Man, right now I’ve got a plan for the perfect Evil Lynn and Trap Jaw, so I’m gonna hit the hay.
As you lay your head down and blackness crawls along to claim your vision, one last thought enters your head.
Sunbro4life's Comment
Wait a second! The voice actress for Trixie was the same one for the 2000’s Evil Lyn! Your eyes dart open in excitement and you smile. Ha! I knew there was a reason she was at the top of my list, it’s perfect! I mean, Princess Celestia is voiced by the 2000’s Sorceress, so it all works out.
Your smile then lessens as another truth comes to you.
But then again, by that logic Twilight would be a good evil villainess since Tara Strong voiced Harley Quinn in the Arkham games and… You yawn once again. …Ah to heck with it. Trixie is number one spot for now, I’ll draw up a plan of action in the morning.
And just like that, you are out like a light.
THE NEXT DAY
You wake up the next morning feeling refreshed, as well as having the urge to kick yourself for not remembering such a crucial detail behind Trixie's voice actress much much sooner. However, before you can even blame Beastwomen for this obvious lack of memory on your part, you notice something strange outside.
Getting up from your futon and moving towards the window to investigate you see...
BrownDog77's Comment
That there's smoke in the air over Ponyville.
...Oh great, of course, you think in melancholy. Now I understand how Season 1, 2, and 3 were all in one year. How the heck do these ponies even have time for friendship when shenanigans happen day to day? Is it too much to ask for one day to recover before this happens?
“Oh good, master awake,” you hear Tina say. Looking behind you, you see your Beastwoman sitting patiently on Pinkie’s bed.
“Nyeh?” you ask as you point out window and she whines.
“Dragon up on mountain. Pink Pony and Friends going to talk to it. Stupid plan if you ask Tina,” she says.
“Nyeh,” you nod in agreement.
“She and the others say that it much too dangerous for you, and that we stay with guards today.”
Huh…maybe they won’t drag me to Canterlot when Discord shows up after all, you think impressed. You then open the window and peer out further, getting a face full of smoke for your trouble, but sure enough, you see the Mane 6 heading out of town, dragging a reluctant Fluttershy with them.
Time for her to shine and make a death lizard cry, you smirk. I haven’t done jack to mess this episode up, and the further I am from a giant dragon the better.
You then look over at Tina who is twiddling her paws on Pinkie’s bed.
“So, what we do now master?”
Good question, you ponder since you now have basically free roam enabled with mild supervision. You then get an idea as you flip through your notebook and look at your many quests.
Whelp, I’m not a statue, so I can make more headway on this Megan mystery…I wonder if Lyra’s got some free time?
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
After eating a nice breakfast of cake, cake, and more cake, we find you, Foxtrot, O’Carrol and Tina making your way to Lyra's place.
“I still think we should have shadowed them up the mountain ma’am,” he says.
“N-Nonsense! The Elements can handle themselves. Besides, it was a direct order from Princess Celestia herself,” she shoots back.
“It’s still a dragon Fox, and none of those mares have military training,” he argues.
“Yeah, and that didn’t stop them from depowering a living goddess,” she answers. “B-Besides, we have to ensure that he doesn’t get up to any trouble while they’re gone.”
O’Carrol lets out a sigh at that. “Whatever you say ma’am.”
The passivity in his voice has you curious.
She’s probably just making up any excuse not to go because of that whole giant monster fear, you conclude. You then draw a picture of an Ursa Major and a Dragon, and a overly dramatically scared Foxtrot and tap O’Carrol on the head.
“Huh?” he asks turning around and you show the picture. Once he deciphers your glyphs, he snorts and nods at you in agreement.
“What? What’s so funny?” she says turning around.
“Nothing!” O’Carrol says with a smirk as you quickly put your notepad away. Foxtrot raises a brow at the two of you scheming before she just shakes her head.
“Whatever. But yeah, no dragons for today thank you very much.”
You know, as much as I like giving you a hard time Foxy, I gotta agree. Unless I have a Stand, Hamon or my Havoc Staff, I ain’t fighting a dragon…well at least not a full grown one. I do need to get a teenage Trap Jaw one. But that comes later.
“So anyway Skeletor,” O’Carrol says changing the subject, “What’s so urgent that we visit Ms. Heartstrings today?”
“Nyeh!” you say as you flip to the Equestrian word Science that Twilight had written down.
“Again?” he asks. “Didn’t you just speak to her a few days ago?”
You nod, before you snap your fingers for Tina.
“Yes Master?!” she asks excitedly and you show her the picture of the shrine you drew.
“Oh, right, Master Skeletor wants to find more forbidden treasure pictures,” she says.
“Forbidden treasure?” Foxtrot asks as she looks at you two and you sweat a bit.
Oh right…I never actually told them or the others about the treasure and the Megan Shrine, you think. To be fair, you were stressed by the Celestia visit, and Lyra’s revelations left you a bit speechless (har har) but now that you have time, you suppose it’s time to let the cat out of the bag.
“Nyeh,” you nod as you walk past Foxtrot, leading the way.
“Hey! Slow down! What do you mean about forbidden treasure?” Foxtrot asks.
You roll your eyes and show her the picture.
“And this tells me what exactly?” she says at a loss.
“That treasure at my old home. It were Skele-Dog monster was that tried to kill me,” Tina says.
“Oh right, I remember Ms. Sparkle saying something about that,” O’Carrol says. “But that picture…it looks like he’s drawn one of his own kind.”
“Well yeah, he-“ Tina starts but you hold up your hand to stop her and she does, albeit a bit confused.
“What? You what?” Foxtrot asks suspiciously.
“Did you have another vision?” O’Carrol asks and you smile and nod.
Thank you for buying into my B.S. so much.
“Oh for…are you telling me you “saw” another one of you showing up? Am I hearing that right?” Foxtrot asks in trepidation.
“Nyeh,” you say as you shake your head, and you decide to enact another bit of a lie.
EnderHooves's Comment
You show a picture of the Stand Arrow, then a clock and then move your fingers counterclockwise around it’s face.
“…You rewound a clock the wrong way?” Foxtrot asks obliviously and you deadpan at her. “Oh don’t look at me like that! It’s not my fault you can’t just read and write!”
I’m trying on that end! Learning a language one-sidedly is tough!
You then just start doing the motions again and again, and while Foxtrot looks to Tina who shrugs, good ol’ O’Carrol gets what you’re saying.
“You had a vision of the past when you touched that artifact?”
“Nyeh!” you say with a smile and point at him.
Foxtrot just looks incredulously at her partner who just smiles smugly at her.
You’d come up with this idea after realizing that future vision might not be enough to justify everything you know, especially when it comes to ancient beings and how they act. So, to try and legitimize it a bit, you came up with the lie that you got past visions while touching things.
Basically you decided to add the main character’s power from My Babysitter is a Vampire to the list of fake psychic skills you have, which basically means if you touch something you 'get' a vision from its 'past,'
My brain is already scrambled trying to comprehend JoJo, Fullmetal and MLP magic being together, but at least if I come across some other magic system, this lie will help ease some explanation to the ponies.
“Are you for real? You can ‘psychically’ see things in the past now too?” Foxtrot says in disbelief, to which you just wave your hand side to side.
“Sometimes? What do you mean sometimes?” she grills but you just shrug and she groans in exasperation.
Heh, just you wait till I have a Stand of my own and I can explain exactly how it works with Pictionary. Actually, if I were to get a Stand, what would it look like? It has to be a rock reference obviously, but what music would be accompanied to Skele- Your eyes widen as that meme song enters your head and you shudder.
I swear, if I get a Stand and it looks like He-Man, I’m going to gouge my eyes out.
“Well however it works ma’am, I am intrigued,” O’Carrol says with a smirk and she rolls her eyes.
“Of course you are. Alright fine, let’s get this “Science” over and done with, it’s far too smoky to be walking outside,” she says waving her hoof in front of her face for emphasis.
That’s the spirit! You think with gusto as you again lead the charge.
And though it creeps out the two guards, you continue since besides Nyeh, it’s one of the few noises you can make.
Hmm, maybe there’s a way I could communicate via whistling? That would mean someone would have to invent a whistle system for words, and then I’d need an interpreter and-Oh, I’m here already.
Your tune and thoughts come to an end as you find yourself at Lyra’s door, your head above it by a good two feet.
Stupid tiny doors, you think as you knock on it.
A few moments go by until the door opens, and it is not Lyra, but Bon-Bon.
Or Agent Sweetie Drops. Or Agent Bon-Bon. Or just Sweetie Drops. Wow, I’ve gotta stop rambling so much even if it really has been a weird couple of days.
"Uh...hello, again," Bon-Bon says, waving slowly but politely.
“Nyeh,” you say as politely as you can.
“Skeletor?! Was that Skeletor I just heard?!” comes an excited cry from inside the house.
“Yes Lyra, he’s here with his Diamond Dog and guards,” Bon-Bon calls over her shoulder.
Lyra rounds the corner and you see the biggest smile on her face.
“Oh my gosh! You came to visit again!” she squeels. “Bonny! This time you get to hang out too!”
“Oh yay,” Bon-Bon says trying to muster enthusiasm.
“Well let them in then! I’ll go grab some snacks!” she yelps before you suddenly hear hoof falls and the sounds of plates crashing.
Bon-Bon just rolls her eyes before looking at you and ushering you all inside. "Hope you don't mind my best friend being a little kooky. Her Canterlot friends actually even her out if you can believe that, but now they’ve gone back home and I’m left with the usual shenanigans.”
“Nyeh,” you say in sympathy as you sit down on the couch, taking up the whole thing, whle Tina sits on the armrest next to you and your guards stand in the back of the room.
“Uh, do you two need a seat or-“
“No, we’re fine ma’am, just go about your business. We’re just his security detail,” Foxtrot says all business like.
“Alright then,” she shrugs as yet another crash comes from the kitchen.
“What was that?!” the earth pony calls.
“Nothing much! Just your fancy pepper shaker!” Lyra calls back.
“My mom gave me that!” Bon-Bon shouts back.
“Oh…well we’re gonna need some glue later…”
And as Bon-Bon facehooves, you can’t help but smirk.
Heh, just like a dysfunctional married couple. Hmm, if Lyra’s human obsession is canon, what about their relationship? Are they just friends? You ponder before shaking your head.
Well even if they are, it ain’t my business.
After another crash and a sigh from Bon-Bon, Lyra walks into the living room, all smiles and levitating a tray of cookies and iced tea.
“I hope you guys are thirsty!” she cheers and you nod enthusiastically.
"So, what is it we're doing again?" Bon-Bon asks as Lyra sets the drinks down.
“Oh...I don’t know, I didn’t know he was coming by today, but I would assume it has something to do with what we discussed last time right?” she asks you.
“Nyeh,” you nod as you pull out the picture of the shrine and her eyes widen. She inspects the image closely.
“Wh-where did you find this?” she asks in wonder.
“Apparently he had a vision of the past when he touched something in the diamond dog’s old home,” O’Carrol speaks up.
“Diamond Dog has name you know?” Tina huffs at the guard.
“Uh, sorry,” he says sheepishly. “At Tina’s old home.”
“That better,” Tina says satisfied.
“A vision of the past? Of the Rainbow Walker?” she asks excitedly and you nod.
“Oh My Gosh, Oh My Gosh!” she starts hyperventilating in joy.
“Yes…” Tina says unsuredly. “And when Master have vision, he see this picture by Forbidden Treasure.”
“YOU SAW THIS?!!!” Lyra shouts and you hold up your hands to calm her down as you nod.
Take a chill pill horsey!
“Wh-What was it? A mural? A shrine? Some sort of holy symbol?” she asks rapidly and you shrug. “Where is this? I have to see it! I must!”
To that you…kind of just shrug sheepishly.
“Huh? You don’t know where it is?”
You shake your head as you admit that you have no idea where it was that Rarity dragged you.
“How do you not know?” she pleads.
“From what I understand ma’am, Ms. Rarity dragged him off with that baby dragon,” Foxtrot says.
To this you nod and her face falls, but then you tap her on the head and point to the page with all the X’s from Twilight’s book.
“Huh? Grandfather’s exploration log? What about it?” You then hold your hands in a maybe gesture and point at several of the X’s.
It takes a few moments before something clicks.
“OH! MY! GOSH!” Lyra calls out before rushing out of the room and more crashing is heard and Bon-Bon sighs again.
“And today was supposed to be a relaxing day…”
Soon, Lyra rushes back in with a map of Equestria and places it on the table before looking to Tina.
“Tina! Where was your old den at?”
“Uh…somewhere not in Pony Town?” she guesses.
“Yes, but, what was the landscape like?” Lyra says energetically.
“There was lots of dirt and rocks and gems?” she guesses.
“Ms. Rarity and the others came back from the East the day he brought back Tina,” O’Carrol speaks up.
“East, thank you!” she says as she studies the map and looks at her grandfather’s X’d map.
She then tenses up as she looks back and forth at it and then pulls a pencil from somewhere and marks it on the big map. She then beams at you in absolute joy.
“If this is where you had that vision, then that means Grandpa actually did find it’s trail!” she says before her face drops. “But if he did, why didn’t he write anything else about it?”
You just shrug before you point at the other X’s on the smaller map. Her eyes widen even more at that as she looks at you.
“You think there’s more out there?”
Definitely, That plaque she left said 3 of 6,vyou think as you nod. Though there are more than 6 X’s on that map.
“EEEEE!!!” she squees loudly, which causes Tina to hold her ears.
“Lyra, take it easy,” Bon Bon implores.
“No way Bons! This may be the lead to the greatest scientific breakthrough in history! All this X’s mean there’s something! We can start with that one in the Diamond Dog den, but the rest…” she starts cross referencing both maps.
“Wow,” she says in surprise. “Some of these X’s aren’t even in Equestria.”
Really now? Then where the heck are they? You think as you lean forward, head to head with the unicorn as you look over the maps.
While Lyra is cross referencing both maps, you send a subtle glare over to Tina for her lack of direction when it comes to her old home. While you doubt anything would have come from visiting the old shrine, at least in terms of figuring out just what the hell Megan or whoever made the moral was doing, you still would have liked to have gotten Lyra's kinda-professional opinion on it.
A opinion you can't get at the moment because the only pony who knows where the Diamond Dogs caves are is off dealing with a dragon and won't be back until at least the end of the day.
Dang it Beastwoman! Why must you infect me with your lack of direction and awareness of your surroundings?!
You pointedly decide to ignore the massive feeling of irony after thinking that as Lyra lets out a squee of excitement before she looks over to you and says,
"Oh Skeletor this is amazing! I've only marked half of the locations on the map, and there's still so many! In fact, some of these seem to be outside the very borders of Equestria itself! I'll need another map just to mark those, in fact..."
Lyra trails off as she looks over to Bon Bon, who for some reason starts to sweat nervously at the other mare’s gaze. Before you can question this, or trail off into thoughts of shipping, Lyra asks the nervous earth pony,
BrownDog77's Comment
“Hey Bonnie, can I get those maps of the world that you have for some reason?”
“N-NO! I’ll get them!” she says as she rushes off to her room.
Lyra looks at you and shrugs. “She’s like that with her stuff sometimes. I found an awesome grappling hook once and she nearly bit my head off.”
Note to self, don’t touch secret agent’s toys.
When Bon Bon gets back with said maps, you see other landmasses besides Equestria, and though they’re labeled in that chicken scratch writing that’s hard to get a grasp on, there are pictures. There’s a picture of a griffon in what you assume is Griffonstone, Dragons for the Dragon Lands, and even Zebras, but there are some that make you raise a brow.
Is that a cat on that other continent? Are there a race of talking cats? Because honestly that’d be adorable. Though since Ponies are the size of dogs, that means they’d all be the size of guinea pigs or something. EEE, Kitty-Pigs!
There are other pictures of creatures that you can’t quite identify, like one that looks like a gremlin or something, and some gorilla looking thing far to the south.
Hmm, must be Tirek styled centaurs, he was very ape like, you reason as Lyra starts cross referencing.
As you stare at the map of the world and of Equestria side by side over Lyra's shoulder, you can start to feel a headache coming from the sight.
ponyheart07's Comment
MagicLover2128's Comment
The strangeness of the nations/geography of the two maps causes you to scratch your head in confusion as you let out a befuddled
“Nyeh?” Bon-Bon notices your confusion, while Lyra seems to be too into her own world cross referencing the maps to notice.
"What's wrong Skeletor?"
You look over to the earth pony before pointing at the two maps, shrugging your shoulders, and showing off your question mark page in your notebook.
She looks back and forth at the two maps and you as she raises a brow.
“Are you…confused by the other nations?” she guesses. You make a maybe gesture before you point at Equestria as a whole before pointing to the other landmasses around it separated by a few seas.
These landmasses and continents look like they’re straight out of Middle Earth or even maybe a bit of Westeros from Game of Thrones. How close are they? Is the rest of the world unknown or just water?
Noticing your hand motions miming out measurements she takes another shot at charades.
“Are…are you asking why the continents are so close together?”
“Nyeh!” you point at her and nod.
“Why wouldn’t they be? I mean yeah, a long time ago all the lands used to be one massive land before they seperated, or so archaeologists say, but yeah, dirt doesn’t travel that fast.”
Yeah, no crap, but how new is this planet if your version of Pangea has only broken up a little?
“Okay, I think I’ve got it!” Lyra says aloud interrupting your converstation as she lays out a new map with the x’s over it. “It may not be the most accurate map out there since I’m missing exact longitudes and latitudes, but if one were to go to these locations and explore, I’m sure they’d be able to locate something.”
You nod at this as you look at all the areas within Equestria that are marked, quite a few it turns out, and they are all over in countless cities that you can’t read. Looking over at the world map you see that Lyra also jolted down the Equestria ones on it as well along with the X's on other continents/nations, but of course they’re not as specific due to the scale change.
Judging from the world map, there are at least a total of thirty locations all across Equestria and the world, with a good chunk of them being in Equestria. Though there are 4 question marks.
“Nyeh?” you ask pointing to one.
“Good question,” Lyra nods as she circles the question marks. “These are the only different markers on the map. One near Neighagra Falls, one in the Smokey Mountains, One near a settlement of rock farms, and the last one near the southern deserts.
“Nyeh?” you ask shrugging at their purpose.
“You’ve got me,” she shrugs. “Since we have no reference for what is at these X’s, those locations are just as mysterious. Perhaps not even my Grandpa knew what was there…or something,” she guesses.
“Well surely they’re significant if your Grandpa marked them,” Bon Bon says.
“All of this is significant, and yet he never said a word about it. Not even in this crypto-zoology book,” Lyra explains, seeming completely baffled.
Hmm, that is pretty suspicious, you agree. I mean, why would you dedicate your life to looking for something and then keep it quiet?
The mysterious nature of this though takes a backseat as you see that an X is located where the griffon picture was, and that could only mean one thing...
Jaro45's Comment
Allsmiles's Comment
“Nyeh!” you exclaim giddily which causes the ponies to jolt.
YES! I HAVE AN EXCUSE TO VISIT CATBIRD EARLY!
“What? What is it?” asks Lyra and you excitedly point at the picture of the Griffon.
"Ugh, the Griffon Kingdom,” Bonb Bon scoffs and looks annoyed.
Whoa, okay...wasn't expecting that reaction.
Noticing your confused expression Bon Bon offers a strained smile as she says,
"Oh don't mind me Skeletor, I just haven't had the most...pleasant of experiences there. It’s no big deal, really."
To this Lyra huffs and rolls her eyes before she snippily says,
"No big deal she says,” Lyra huffs with a roll of her eyes. “Ha, if that were only the case!”
“LYRA! He doesn’t need to hear about-“
“Her jerk of an ex-coltfriend brought her there for their three year anniversary and dumped her two weeks in. Bonnie came back home crying and wouldn't leave her room for a month."
“…Oh right!” Bon Bon says sounding surprised and confused momentarily. “Yeah, he didn’t need to hear about that," she says switching over to a hurt tone, to which Lyra winces at before she quickly hugs her friend in sympathy.
"Sorry Bons, you just know I get worked up whenever you mention that jerk."
As the two ponies have their moment, Tina and your two guards just stand off to the side awkwardly, while you just stare in suspicion.
Okay, definitely something fishy there. I’ve pranked my sister’s exes enough times to know Bon Bon’s hiding something. What really happened in the Griffon Kingdom to make you all weepy Ms. Secret Agent?
"Uh Master...should Tina do something?" your grunt asks as she’s taken in by the scene, but you shake your head.
Nah, it’s clearly something above our clearance level. Lyra clearly buys the story, and so do you guys, but I’m sure I’ll figure out the truth eventually.
Lyra looks at you from over Bon Bon’s shoulder and asks,
“So, yeah…why were you so excited Skeletor?”
“Nyeh,” you answer as you hold up a picture of Gilda.
“Oh, Rainbow Dash’s Griffon friend. I’d heard she went home awhile ago,” she nods.
“That’s correct ma’am. The creature is a bit unhealthily attached to her as he is with Ms. Pie,” Foxtrot speaks up and you shoot her a stink eye.
Unhealthily attached my ass! You growl and she actually smirks and chuckles at your look. Oh…oh now she’s actively messing with me? That’s…different, you shrug before looking back to the map. Well mood swings from her aside, I’m guessing the only one here that would know much about Griffon land is the secret agent putting on a fake pity party, so I doubt I’m getting anymore today. I do know more than the average pony, though it’d be good to have some more details if I’ve gotta do more psychic episodes.
“So, if you’re actually good friends with a griffon, then that could actually be an advantage if we were to ever go into that land. A guide would be nice,” Lyra says as she pats Bon Bon on the head.
Exactly! Plus I could recruit her and Gabby into my aerial unit for my evil army! Air support is a must! Although Gabby would probably be a part of my death squad of adorable evilness that just give enemies heart attacks. But that comes later!
“And there’s that scheming face again,” Foxtrot mutters and O’Carrol chuckles.
Dang it! That’s why I need a skull mask already so no one can read me! You berate yourself. But yeah, before I even get an army, I need bases, forts, and settlements that can easily be defended. That gorge in Griffonstone probably has way more treasures in it besides the Idol, so I could get my funding from there, and maybe even make a safe house there completely protected from aerial invasion… You then mentally slap yourself as your daydreaming has once again taken you off topic.
Ugh! What am I thinking? That’s all way too grand, You think rationally. Before I even think about safe houses and forts, I need my own castle first!
Sunbro4life's Comment
Resadur164's Comment
I need my own Snake Mountain fortress so that my minions will want to serve me. Somewhere cool and metal looking. Your eyes widen suddenly. Or better yet, I’ll just call it Castle Greyskull! It was always mine for the taking, and what better insult to fabulously dressed Eternians than calling it that?!
“Um, Skeletor? Are you alright?” Lyra asks as you have a thousand yard stare.
“He’s fine ma’am, don’t you worry,” O’Carrol reassures.
“He does this often?” Bon Bon asks, as she comes out of her “emotional moment.”
“Oh yeah,” Foxtrot nods and your eye twitches.
Obviously I'll need to wait till I don't have Foxtrot and O'Carrol following me around before I can actually move into my lair. Well, that is if I can't convince them to ditch the princess and join me.
You do a quick glance over to the two guard ponies.
“What? You kind of do,” O’Carrol says thinking you’re still looking at them for the insult.
They may be a pain sometimes, but they’ve certainly got talent. Besides, without someone to doubt my phony predictions, I wouldn’t be able to rub it in anyone’s face when I turn out correct. Whatever, I'll add 'Convert Foxtrot and O'Carrol to Skeletor's Side' to the side quest list.
NEW SIDE QUEST CREATED: Convince Royal Guards Foxtrot and O'Carrol to Leave the Guards and Join You
You momentarily pause as a strange feeling washes over you, as if some new mechanic in a video game was just added out of the blue when it should have been there in the beginning. You shrug off the weird feeling as you go back to the map and think,
Once I do that, I'll need to get the funds to actually afford to relocate and get supplies in order to get more minions, but those don’t need to be added to the list since that goes hand in hand with the others. Besides, I’ve already got Skryim levels of unfinished sidequests, so I don’t want to add more text, I wouldn’t be able to handle that kind of strain.
“Well, if you’re still thinking of the possibilities of, er, the place where Griffons live,” Lyra says hesitantly giving a side glance at Bon Bon. “You don’t have to rush anything since that’s out of the country and it would be awhile before we’d even go there.”
“Nyeh,” you nod in understanding as you look at the X near Griffonstone.
Still, It’s in my future at some point. Plus I could explore some areas around it not shown in the show. Like…whoa, wherever this place is, you think in awe as you finger slides over an awesome looking doodle of a one eyed skull with sharp teeth that seems to be made into a mountain side near Griffonstone.
“Oh that’s Arimaspi Territory,” Lyra says reading the text below it. “I’ve heard tales about those, and thank Celestia there’s no X’s there.”
“Yeah,” Both Bon Bon and Foxtrot shudder at the same time.
There may not be X’s there, but that doesn’t mean it’s not amazing! If there’s literally a premade layer with a skull entrance, that’s my Castle Greyskull! And it’s on my own personal Snake mountain too! The best of both worlds! You think with hope at all the endless possibilities. My only other option would be the Castle of the Two Sisters…but aside from being in an evil forest that would just as likely eat me as intruders, it’s also got the freaking Tree of Harmony under it, and I don’t think it would take kindly to my army of darkness.
Noticing your smile, Lyra looks worried.
“Please don’t tell me you actually want to visit there?”
"NYEHEHEHEHEHEHE!" you laugh in response which chills everyone to the bone.
“I think he does,” Tina interprets sounding nonplussed.
“Let’s uh…let’s put that on the maybe list shall we?” Lyra says before coughing into her hoof. “I mean, there’s so many other interesting locations that have an X. Like here!” she says pointing to an X in a sea of doodle trees. “The forest city of Thicket! I've always wanted to visit since the Deer there made contact with Equestria, but I've never found a real reason to go till now!"
Wait, isn't that the city from those IDW comics? Oh crap, are those canon here too!?
Before you can delve too deep into the panic of having to keep in mind a whole other canon, Lyra speaks up again,
BrownDog77's Comment
“Though considering where the city is located it'll be awhile before we could actually visit, especially considering how dangerous the Everfree is. But, if we’re going off of Tina’s den as a reference, then the next closest X would actually be in Canterlot. Which would arguably be the safer option between the two.” Lyra says pointing to the map.
“Nyeh?” you ask surprised.
“I know, right?”
Your two guards and Bon-Bon look perplexed by this.
“But Lyra, if there was some sort of evidence of this Rainbow Walker in Canterlot, wouldn’t we have already known about it?” Bon-Bon asks.
“Well, I say Canterlot, but look, the X isn’t over the city, but rather on the mountain. If the first one Skeletor found was underground, then perhaps it’s even beneath Canterlot.”
Beneath? You think as your eyes widen. Like in those crystal caves where Cadence is going to be imprisoned?
“What is it Skeletor? Did something come to you?” Lyra asks seeing your expression.
You frown since you don’t want to bring up that far into the future so you make a maybe gesture.
All I have to do is get to Canterlot, then start drawing a crystal cave and boom, someone ought to be able to lead us there. There were mine carts and rails during This Day Aria so surely someone knows an entrance. Though going there before the wedding might cause some problems, who knows how long Cadence was in there anyway...
Putting off the thoughts of running into a captured Cadence early you tune back to Lyra, who seemed oblivious to your moment of tuning her out.
“Well Okay then, but still this is so exciting!”
You nod and smile as well as you look over your possible destinations.
“Many of these other X’s don’t appear to be that far from settlements that are near Rail Roads, so that’s helpful,” Bon Bon says as she studies the map.
“Well thank goodness for that. I can already tell some of these will be a paint to hike to,” Lyra says as she points at one X that appears to be in a jungle, one that’s in a mountain range, and one that as far as you can tell is either near the ocean or in it.
Oh please let it be on land. Earth Oceans are scary enough already, I don’t want to even imagine what hell-spawns lurk in fantasy world seas, you shudder imagining Megalodons, Plesiosaurs, and other horrors.
“The cost in travel alone would be great from some of these out of country places. I mean, there’s one in Somnambula,” Bon-Bon says.
“Bless you,” Tina says.
“No, I mean here,” Bon-Bon rolls her eyes as she points at a sandy area that has a drawing of pyramids next to it.
Ooh, Pony Egypt. I fought a skeleton, does that mean I get to fight a mummy now? You think excitedly.
“Well at least I’ve heard of Somnambula, I didn’t even know about this Abyssinia place before,” Lyra says pointing at the picture of the cat which also has an X.
Yay, magical kitties! You think in both excitement and curiosity. But really? Abyssinia? Why no cat pun?
“It’s a foreign power from what I remember. They deal in magical devices and such,” Foxtrot speaks up as you see both her and O’Carrol looking at the map in intrigue as well.
So much for just Security Detail, you smirk as they get invested.
Jaro45's Comment
After that thought one of the X's catches your attention, and not because you recognize it. In fact, this X isn't even remotely familiar to you, as its all the way to the East, right on the border of Equestria on some mountain range that has a feline like slit eye on it.
Huh, I've never even seen that before in the show. Maybe it showed up in the comics or a later season?
“Nyeh?” you ask, getting Lyra’s attention as you point to the map.
"Oh, those are where the Thestral Eyries are located! I'm actually kinda surprised one of the X's ended up over there considering the terrain."
You cup your chin in thought as the location sounds vaguely familiar to you.
Thestral...Thestral...where have I heard that name before? Oh right, Harry Potter! Those creepy horses that got introduced when Luna Lovegood showed up. Speaking of Luna and creepy horses…
Your eyes widen in recognition as you quickly take out your notepad and do a quick sketch of a Batpony from the Nightmare Night episode before showing it to Lyra.
"Yep, that's a Thestral alright,” she nods with a smile. “They usually live in the high in the mountains in the east, tucked away in sheltered, dark valleys. They aren't the most sociable of ponies from what I heard, and there are rumors that they're actually nocturnal like real bats."
Considering they’re Night Guards with Luna, I'm inclined to believe that.
"Oh come on Lyra, you know that's just a silly rumor ponies made up,” Bon Bon rolls her eyes. “Besides, there's a whole settlement of them out in Hollow Shades and they’re not all Nocturnal.”
“Really?” Lyra asks curiously and looks at the map. “Where’s that?”
“A little west of Manehattan,” she explains and points to a forested area near the railroad tracks.
“Huh, interesting,” Lyra says with a nod. “I guess you’ve been there before?”
“Yup,” Bon Bon nods and says no more, which you would find suspicious, if you weren’t already scheming again.
Hmmmm...I wonder how many bat ponies I can get to swear their loyalty to me? The badassness of mighty Skeletor's army being lead into battle with a legion of vampire horses cannot be overstated. None SHALL ESCAPE THE MIGHTY BAT FLEET! NYEHEHEHEHEHE!
As your usual totally-not-crazy smile begins to form, you are snapped out of your thoughts when Foxtrot suddenly says,
"Huh...that's weird."
You and the others give her confused looks, before she points at the world map and says,
"It's these six X's, check it out when I do this."
Foxtrot then proceeds to take the pencil that Lyra was using to mark the map early and begins to connect the six mentioned Xs together. When she finishes you see...
Solidcrazyy's Comment
That the connected Xs form a star like shape, and at the center of it appears to be a small island. You, being the nerd you are, immediately recognize this kind of symbol and the implications behind it.
Whelp, happy go-lucky Equestria now has a pentagram symbol in it, greeeeaaaaatttt. Is it bad I'm hoping this is just another transmutation circle from Fullmetal? Otherwise here’s hoping the ponified Winchester brothers exist.
Ignorant to your thoughts Lyra's eyes widen at the island.
"Oh my Celestia! It seems these six specific marks seem to correlate with Pinpoint Island! The implications behind this are outstanding! Could it be some source of the Rainbow Walker? Or maybe it’s some sort of gate to the Rainbow Walkers realm if all six X's are activated!"
You subtly wince at the green unicorns wording as you think,
Oh if its real it’s a gateway to somewhere all right, and Doom Guy I am not.
"Lyra calm down, I'm sure it’s just a coincidence,” Bon Bon exposits. “That place is a tourist trap with all those fancy lakes with islands of their own on it. It’s more Feng Shuei than a portal.”
While Lyra gives Bon Bon one of those 'stop crushing my dreams' looks you usually gave your sister when she shot down one of your ideas, you can't help but feel like there might be more to this island then meets the eye. Before you can read too much into it O'Carrol, who was strangely silent during the whole exchange, suddenly points at one of the X's on the Equestria map and says,
BrownDog77's Comment
“He-hey, isn’t this in the Badlands?”
That seems to get everyone's attention as they all focus on the X, which appears to be in a desert, not too far from one of the question marks.
“It looks like it,” Bon Bon nods and both guards look at each other in worry.
“What? What is it?” asks Lyra.
“The Badlands are, well, bad ma’am,” says O’Carrol.
Well gee O'Carrol, I could never have figured that out. I mean it’s not like it’s called the Badlands or anything...oh wait. Your sarcastic thought is ignored by all (obviously), despite the fact that you put enough sarcasm into it that it should have broken the speech barrier and reached them.
“How bad we talking?” she asks, mirroring your own curiosity.
“There are all kinds of monstrous, giant creatures out there that…” Foxtrot starts before she starts shaking and gains a thousand yard stare.
Whoa, wait a second, is that where her phobia comes from? You think as her partner coughs and continues.
“Yes, plenty of pony eaters, but there are also sentient threats out there as well. Deceitful and cunning enemies of Equestria that can take on any appearance.”
Ah hell, the Changelings are out there? You think bitterly as you stare at that particular X and question mark. Crap! I’m definitely going to need some better offensive capabilities if I’m walking into Bug Horse Territory.
“Well, then I suppose that if we put an expedition together, we’ll have to hire protection and the like,” Lyra suggests as she looks over the map again. “Obviously the out of country ones will be the hardest, but I’m sure the ones within our kingdom will be a bit simpler.”
“Unless these other treasures have Guardian like mine did,” Tina says aloud, causing all to look at her.
“What do you mean?” asks Lyra.
Tina then goes on to explain the Skeledog and how you saved her. Lyra and Bon Bon look on in both horror and amazement at that tale.
“Necromantic magic?” Lyra gasps. “…Okay, yeah, definitely going to need protective details.”
“Lyra, if it’s that dangerous then,” Bon Bon starts but is cut off.
“It’s my Grandfather’s Work! I don’t know why he never brought this forth in the past when he was ridiculed, but darn it, I’m gonna find out!”
Bon Bon sees the determination in her eyes and relents.
“So what I’m gonna need is my friends from Canterlot, some bodyguards, Skeletor, and a whole lot of money. Maybe I can get a research grant from the Princess?” she ponders.
Bon Bon stares at the muttering for a bit before giving a sigh and saying,
"Well, if you’re that determined maybe you could ask Twilight Sparkle and her friends to help? I mean she is Celestia's personal student, maybe she could pull some strings?"
Lyra seems to brighten up at that, while you do the opposite at the thought of the girls being away from town when they’re not supposed to and missing out on valuable canon friendship lessons.
"You’re right Bonnie! I could just ask Twilight to help, I mean we are friends...I think. I'm sure she'd love to help a fellow researcher in her search for answers. Plus she's always had this need to learn stuff, so I'm su-"
"NYEH!" You yell, interrupting Lyra, as you cross your arms together in an x form.
The others look at you in confusion while Lyra asks,
"Why can't I ask Twilight and the others to help Skeletor? Even you gotta admit that they'd be a major boon to this."
Yeah sure, they'd be helping me out while canon and their lives go down the drain. No thanks, but since I can't exactly say that...
With that thought you do what you do best, wing it like no one’s winged before.
You quickly sketch up two images of the town, one in fire and in ruins with the Mane Six's cutiemarks a good distance away leaving, while the other image has the town being nice and cheerful with the gangs cutiemarks above the town.
Thankfully, while Lyra and Bon Bon just seem creeped out at the pictures, O'Carrol once again proves to be a surprisingly good interpreter for your pictures as he says,
"I think he's trying to say how if the Elements are out with you looking for these locations, there would be no one protecting the town if something goes wrong."
You smile and nod your head at O'Carrol's interpretation of your picture as you give him a quick fist bump.
"Oh please,” Lyra says in disbelief. “I think the town can go a month or two without them. I mean it...did...before..."
Lyra slowly trails as everyone, literally everyone, in the room gives Lyra looks of deadpanned disbelief. Eventually the looks get to be too much for her as she sighs in defeat.
"Okay okay fine, we won't ask the princess’s personal student to help investigate. That means no asking Princess Celestia right off the bat for money too…"
Feeling bad for the green unicorn, and just genuinely not wanting her to keep the sad frown she is now sporting, you quickly draw a picture of her, you, Tina, and her friends from Canterlot looking at a treasure chest in awe and high-fiving together over its discovery (with your logo not-so subtly spread across some of their saddlebags). You tried to convey that she has more than enough.
"You’re right Skeletor,” she says with a grateful smile and leg hug. “With you and my pals from Canterlot we've got things handled! Now..." She turns back towards the map releasing your leg. "I doubt the Ministry of Ancient History Research and Discovery will give us a grant just for my Grandfathers notes and this map. We'll need to have some evidence to back it all up.
Resadur164's Comment
She then looks to Oak and Foxy and asks,
“Do you think it’s too much to ask the Princesses to send Guard Scouts to some of these locations without definitive proof?”
Your two guards look at one another and frown guiltily at that.
“Yeah, I don’t think that work too well ma’am,” O’Carrol admits and Lyra’s ears wilt.
“I thought as much.”
“Troop movements into unknown locations takes time and resources,” Foxtrot explains. “Unless there’s definitive proof, it wouldn’t likely be greenlit. And even if there was, the threat would have to be great enough to warrant that much money being spent.”
Heh, typical bureaucracy. When Skeletor rules over all, there shall be no paperwork because only my word is law! And what, living skeletons aren’t in the budget? What if we come across one of these sites and we release the T-Virus, or make Bloodborne happen or something?
“You would have to have some clout first before even demanding such a thing Lyra,” Bon Bon agrees.
“Yeah alright, it was just an idea,” she sighs.
And it was a good idea…though maybe lessening the amount of ponies trampling over everything is a better idea. The last thing we need is Daring Do finding out, since apparently she’s real, and getting torn to shreds by some Lovecraftian monstrosity. Though I’m sure she’d be able to kick some monster ass if that were the case.
“Well even if we found Tina’s old place again, that’s only one site, we need more for a healthy case,” Lyra says in determination before looking to you for guidance. “The question is, which one?"
Greatness942's Comment
You look over Lyra's shoulders at the Equestria map, looking at the closer X's in confusion as you scratch your head.
We’ve got Canterlot, but then Celestia will get Twilight involved, there’s the ones in the Everfree…but I kind of don’t want to die yet. Ugh! I hate this stupid chicken scratch language! Screw it! You use the tried and true method that has worked on many vacations: you close your eyes and randomly point to a spot on the map, landing on-
"Manehatten?" Foxtrot responds, staring at you incredulously. "No, nope, by Tartarus' ninth Hell No! We are not letting you anywhere near a major metropolitan area like that until we know we can guarantee the safety of the public." You turn to her with a glare, raising an eyebrow. Lyra however just looks excited at a decision being made, but your attention is on your two guards so you don't notice.
"...Nyeh."
“Oh don’t give me that,” she scolds. “You’ve only just pulled yourself out of the social pariah hole yesterday.”
“Nyeh Nyeh Nyeh!” you stamp your foot.
“Manehattan is over five times the size of Ponyville, do you honestly want to risk a skittish population that big?” she barks.
“Nyyyyyyeeeeehhhhh,” you whine, crossing your arms and turning away from her.
“Oh now you’re just acting like a foal! This is as much for your protection as it is for the public,” she says in her mom voice.
“Plus, um, we’re not exactly sanctioned to leave with you anywhere outside of Ponyville,” O’Carrol speaks up.
“Yes, there’s that too,” Foxtrot adds as an afterthought.
You give a saddened look to Lyra and Bon Bon who rub the backs of their necks.
“I mean, we’d be with him, surely he could have more leeway?” Lyra tries to reconcile.
“Ma’am, that’s a no can do. We have our orders,” Foxtrot says politely.
Dang it Foxy! Quit ruining all my hard earned progress!
“Oh…well, maybe we could wait till your positive Skeletor won’t be in danger or the cause of the danger,” she says looking down sadly.
“Nyeh!” you grunt and kick the floor.
“Yes! Totally not fair!” Tina growls and mimics your actions.
“I’m sorry Skeletor, but we’ve gotta do what we’ve gotta do,” Lyra says apologetically.
“…Nyeh,” you sigh dejectedly.
“But don’t worry, this isn’t the end. Give me a hug big guy, we’ll be able to get to this in no time.”
You sigh again and lean down to hug her, and as you do, she whispers in your ear.
“No time at all actually.”
“Nyeh?”
“When you get back to Pinkie’s, make sure those two aren’t in the room,” she whispers before pulling back from the hug like nothing happened.
You raise a brow at her and she gives you a wink.
What are you planning missy?
“Anyway, I’ve got a lot to look over as it is, I’ll see you later Skeletor, be sure to drop by anytime.”
“Nyeh,” you nod, deciding to go along with it as you exit the door, with Tina and your guards following behind.
As you walk down the road, curious about Lyra’s message, you still give your guards the cold shoulder for raining on your parade in the first place.
“…Come on Foxy,” you hear O’Carrol whisper followed by Foxtrot sighing.
“Fine. Skeletor,” she says trying to sound sympathetic. “I know you’re upset about-“
denneylaw's Comment
A loud roar echoes across the town from the mountain where all the smoke’s coming from, interrupting Foxtrot.
“EEEEKK!” she cries out in a shrill voice. Looking behind you, you see her crouching low to the ground, holding onto one of O’Carrol’s legs.
Yeesh, what did you go through? You wonder looking at the shaking mare. Her partner doesn’t seem all that steady either as he looks at the mountain in worry and other ponies on the streets run around like headless chickens.
“It’s alright Foxy, it’s nowhere near here,” he comforts her and she shakily gets back up. “But still, it seems like it’s taken action…”
You can tell he’s worried about the Mane 6, but you decide to reassure him.
“Nyeh,” you say in a calm manner since you know that by now Fluttershy is using her infamous Stare and everything is alright with the world.
One 'psychic' vision of the girls sending the dragon home later and everyone is back to their usual routines as if nothing happened in the first place. You will never understand how bi-polar these ponies can be sometimes.
After that, you arrive at Sugarcube Corner and immediately go to Pinkie’s room with Tina, and your guards have the courtesy to give you privacy. That and Foxtrot still seemed anxious about the dragon and wouldn’t let go of O’Carrol’s side, so he decided to take her back to their lodgings.
“So if we can’t go hunting for X’s, what we do now master?” Tina asks and you hold up a finger.
“Nyeh,” you say, hoping she gets the cue to just wait it out.
She shrugs and lies down on Pinkie’s bed like an actual dog, and you sit patiently for whatever it is Lyra’s gonna do. Well, as patiently as you can, your mind is always racing.
If I can’t go globetrotting soon, I’m sure that Dragon Cave will be a good hideout. Fluttershy scared the crap out of him, so he’s never coming back. Also, I don’t remember him taking his treasure when he fled, so maybe I can pull off a heist and get Lyra some cash to jumpstart her little escapade. Hell, there’s enough in there to probably be set for life what with all the gold, silver, crystals, rubies, sapphires, emeralds, diamonds, pearls, platinum and other Pokémon title currency. Maybe even a shield and sword for when I hunt down my Trap Jaw minion.
…Yeah, maybe I’ll play it safe instead of not at all.
And just as you think that, there is suddenly a bright flash right in front of you.
“NYEH!” you cry out and fall backwards over your futon.
"What happened Master!?” Tina says suddenly alert with her fists up.
“Oh ow, that really does a number on ya,” Lyra’s voice says, causing you to perk up from behind the couch. Sure enough, she is standing right there in the middle of the room.
“…Is this pony magics at work?” asks Tina.
“Uh-huh,” Lyra says and winces rubbing her forehead. “Though I was never as good at it as Twilight and Moondancer.
Geeze who knew teleporting could take so much out of a pony?
“That’s an understatement,” Bon Bon says as she comes in through Pinkie’s balcony door. “You could have just used the pegasus entrance.”
“Oh like I was gonna climb some rope,” Lyra says with a huff before smiling at you. “But anyway, we’re here.”
“Nyeh,” you nod and smile.
“Yes, why you here?” asks Tina.
“Because now we can plan while the guards are out of earshot.”
“Which I still say is a bad idea Lyra,” Bon Bon warns. “You heard what they said, you can’t just take him with you and-“
"No Bonnie! Skeletor obviously has a reason for choosing Manehattan first, so that has to be where we go to get evidence to get some funding! Besides it wouldn't feel right to do this without him "
I appreciate the concern and all Lyra, but I literally picked one at random. There's no big decision behind it or anything... you think nervously as sweat drops form on your brow.
“But Lyra, you could get us all in trouble if you-“
"Look Bon Bon, I know this seems like a bad idea, but this is my Grandfather’s work we're talking about! You know how much I care about it, and how much it means to me to prove that he wasn't just some crazy old fart. This is my one chance to prove to all those jerks that my Grandfather was right once and for all! That, and..."
Lyra glances over to you with a soft look as she continues her speech,
"I feel like Skeletor needs to find these locations just as much as I do. He's the one who rekindled my hope for proving my Grandfather right, and he's just as much invested in this as I am. I don't know why but something," Lyra touches a hoof to her chest as she says in a softer tone, "something in my heart is telling me he needs this just as much as I do. And I can't just leave a friend hanging."
Lyra...
"So!" Her determined glare returns as she thrust her hoof out, "I've got a good plan to get those funds, and it all depends on getting Skeletor here to Manehatten! And I've got an even better plan to do that, so...are you in?"
A few moments of silence go by before you lay your hand on top of Lyra's, giving your own determined nod to her grateful smile.
I'm with ya Lyra, and not just because I need to find these locations either!
Soon after you Tina places her paw atop yours as she says,
"Tina not sure what's going on, but Tina knows she follows Master wherever he goes. So if Master wants to follow mint pony, then so will Tina!"
After that declaration you and Lyra both look over to a conflicted looking Bon Bon. Your stares seem to add onto her confliction, but after a few moments she sighs and says,
"I know this is crazy, stupid, and that we're all probably going to end up in some jail by the end of it. But..." Bon-Bon places her hoof in the center as she finishes with a smug look, "I can't just leave my best friend to it alone. So yeah, I'm in! Let's go find some ancient shrine thing!"
"Alright then,” Lyra says excitedly. “Here's the plan guys..."
And with that, the mint unicorn began to lay out her scheme…
ONE WEEK LATER
You sit at the train station with Tina, completely unsupervised, waiting for your cohorts.
“You sure this train thing not scary master?” asks your Beastwoman and you just wave her off.
It’ll be fine you fool, now stop interrupting my studies.
Allsmiles's Comment
You look over your notes for the upcoming journey. After working out your escape plan with Lyra, she gave you the name of every location with an X, and since you still can’t read, you jotted them down in good ol English which is gibberish to them.
Always good to have a backup, just in case we lose our countless backup maps Lyra made…Well, at least it’s basically in cipher.
Eventually, you hear the train coming round the bend, and you excitedly stand up, and just as it pulls into the station, Lyra and Bon Bon arrive, just as planned.
“Hi Skeletor, Hi Tina,” Lyra waves.
“Hi Mint and Cream Pony,” Tina answers.
“Wow, loving the new outfits,” Bon Bon says looking you two over.
“Nyeh,” you say proudly as you give a pose. You and Tina are now wearing your Skeletor and Beastman clothes, courtesy of Rarity. It’s been a long time coming, but you finally look the part, aside from not being blue and having no skull face.
“Tina still think hers a bit heavy,” she says as she nibbles at her coat frills.
“Nyeh!” you chide and bop her on the head with a magazine, causing her to bark and stop.
“Alright, keep it down,” Lyra cautions. “Let’s get on the train before anypony sees us.”
You agree and you board the train, and while it does have enough head room, you take up two seats to yourself.
Once you’re all settled, Lyra beams with joy and clops her hooves.
“Oh, I can’t believe it worked out so well, just as you predicted.”
“Nyeh,” you say, pretending that it was nothing.
“I mean, it’s one thing keeping Twilight and her friends busy, but to get rid of the guards, how’d you do it?”
You gesture for your Beastwoman to answer.
“Master convinced whiny pony to make clothes for spear stealing ponies, and she wouldn’t let them go,” Tina says sounding happy holding up her weapon. “Now Tina has her spear back.”
Bon Bon looks at you incredulously.
“You sicced Rarity on them? Oh boy, they’re not going to be happy with you after they find out.”
Yeah, I know, you nod feeling a bit guilty, but it had to be done.
A week ago, Lyra told you that her plan was to contact the Unicorn Science Pack and have them meet you in Manehattan when the time was right. She said that all they had to do was wait for an opportune time to sneak away from both the guards and the Mane 6 to do this. The plan, to find proof of more Megan stuff, and do such a great job that when you return, Celestia and the others will see the results and allow you to continue.
With that in mind, you waited for an opportunity, and boy did one happen when one day you went to Rarity’s and saw her making the Gala dresses. Your eyes beamed with joy since you knew they would drive her nuts and provide the perfect distraction. Of course, before you told Lyra the good news via psychic drawing, you hugged Rarity for all she was worth because she had finally finished your clothes.
You still kind of feel guilty for leaving her to her fate, but it’s a Friendship Lesson they must learn. After donning your purple Skeletor outfit, you informed Lyra, who informed the Canterlot crew. While Rarity stressed out for Hoity Toity, you added onto the chaos by roping Foxtrot and O’Carrol into it while Lyra and Bon Bon did a special mission for you.
“We’ll meet Minuette and the others at the Radhayson around dinner time to plan even further. By then everypony should have gotten our apology notes,” Lyra states and you nod.
In order to not cause as much of a panic, you had Lyra draft up letters for Twilight, the guards, and Pinkie Pie explaining the situation. Though you made sure the one to Pinkie Pie was the most apologetic and reassuring of the three. She is the one you’re closest too.
As the train pulls out of the station, and continues onward to adventure, you spy your two guards searching up and down the streets, wearing some very rudimentary fancy clothing. You never thought you’d see Foxtrot in a frilly dress.
“Heh heh, how did you get Rarity to make them clothes anyway?” asks Lyra as she sees your confused guards.
“Master say those two secret mates and need to go to Gala thing together and Whiny Pony got all sparkly eyed,” Tina explains. The two mares look at you incredulously and you shrug.
What? She clearly bought it. Those two are pretty close so who knows? But anyway, back to business…
“Nyeh?” you ask opening and closing your hand in front of Lyra and she looks left and right.
“Yeah I got it alright, but be careful with it Okay?” she warns as from her Saddlebag she pulls out your Havoc Staff.
“Nyeh!” you cry out happily, and thankfully you’re in a private booth, otherwise some tourist ponies might have fainted.
“I hope the Princess’s student doesn’t press charges for theft,” Bon Bon says as you take the staff and hold it close.
“Technically, it doesn’t belong to her either,” Lyra smirks as she also levitates a familiar glove out.
My fighting gauntlet! Lyra you are too much! You think happily as you pet her like a dog.
“Oh, it was nothing,” she says dopily as you give her ear scratches.
Nothing my butt! This is the best day ever! I’ve got my toys back, I’m dressed appropriately, and I’m on a quest! I’ve finally got a clear goal! Nothing can ruin this for me!
TWO HOURS LATER
Me and my big mou-er...thoughts?
We now find you and your gang on the side of the tracks, with your respective luggage strewn about all over the place, after being kicked off the train.
“Why?! Why would you think it was a good time to experiment with that stupid thing while on a train?!” Bon Bon growls angrily at you, causing you to wilt and hold our Havoc Staff closer to you.
Because I was bored and wanted to see what else I could do with this thing! I’m sorry!
“Come on Bonnie, don’t be so harsh on h-“
“He launched a snack trolley through the roof!” Bon Bon interrupts Lyra and you wilt further.
“Nyeh,” you say apologetically.
“Tina never got her packet of peanuts,” your diamond dog says sadly.
“That’s the least of our problems!” Bon Bon huffs and looks at Lyra. “We’re in the middle of nowhere halfway between Canterlot and Manehattan! We’re never going to make it to meet your friends on time!”
“Alright, alright, calm down. All we have to do is get to the nearest town and I’ll just send a message to them,” Lyra says playing peacemaker. “Look, it’s within site even.”
She points down the tracks and about two miles away you see some buildings near a large cropping of trees.
“Why couldn’t train ponies just drop us off there? Seems like much bigger effort to stop, throw us off, and stop again at that town,” Tina points out.
Yeah…jerks, you agree.
“Well whatever the case, we’ll figure everything out,” Lyra says optimistically as she levitates her bags and starts trotting along. Shrugging, you follow along since you’ve got nothing better to do.
After awhile of walking, and the train being a speck on the horizon, you come to the outskirts of this town.
“Nyeh?” you point at the sign you can’t read.
“Oh, right, it says “Welcome to Hollow Shades,”" Lyra translates and your eyes widen.
Hollow Shades? Thestrals? Bat Ponies? Bat Airforce?!
“NYYYEEEEHHH!!!” you cry out in happiness, and in the distance you hear high pitched, bat like screeches of surprise at your declaration, which causes Bon Bon to facehoof.
Rising up from the town like a storm cloud, a swarm of thestrals descends upon your group.
Oh My God, this is going to be just like in Batman Begins when Bruce faces his fear and lets them encircle him, you think giddily as the swarm comes closer.
“Oh no, is that bad? That look bad,” Tina says as she stands guard in front of you with her spear.
“I’m sure it’s just a welcoming party, heh heh,” Lyra chuckles nervously.
“No, there’s definitely guards leading the charge,” Bon Bon deadpans giving you the stink eye.
Sure enough, there’s a handful of bat ponies in armor, holding spears that reaches your group first. When the others catch up, they all circle around you in the air, keeping their distance.
“And now they’re trying to intimidate us, great,” Bon Bon rolls her eyes.
Look I know you’re all trying to be intimidating but I'm sorry, your little fangs and fluffy ears are just too cute! You coo as you study them. Aside from the guards, there are a lot of civilians, and they all have dark mane colors, dark coats, and their wings don’t have any feathers on them.
While Tina bares her teeth and growls at the little hurricane, Bon Bon looks to Lyra.
"Lyra, I just want you to know if we get arrested I'm not going to cover for you,” she says tiredly in annoyance.
"Aw come on Bonnie! I thought it was your turn to take the fall! I accepted full responsibility for that whole fiasco in Las Pegasus."
"I thought we agreed to never mention Las Pegasus ever again!"
And while you squabble, you internally squee at the screeching sounds many of the bat ponies are making.
Oh if only I had a mango or something to feed to them. I bet I could get them to screech like that on command if I scratch behind their ears.
“Alright, that’s enough, clear off, civvies in the back!” a male voice cuts through the screeching as a path way through the swarm is cleared, and the armored guards march forward.
Hmm, not quite like Nightmare Night, but still, much better looking than O’Carrol and Foxtrot’s armor.
After a few more orders and louder screeches from the guards, the civilian thestrals back up, some landing, others hovering as they look upon your group.
They then face you, giving you looks of awe and fear and suspicion.
Yes, yes! Look upon my majestic form and weep in jealousy! You smirk as you hold out your arms like a king.
Kneel before Z-I mean Lord Skeletor, for I have come to lead you into an age of awesomeness!
"We have heard your call O Great One. What is your command?" the three of them bow, offering their spears to you as the civilians follow suit, praising your glory.
A mad gleam fills your eyes as you roar your joy to the heavens,
"Nyeeeheheheheheeeehhh!"
Now comes your reckoning He-Man! Now comes your batty doo- *Smack*
“Nyeh!” you cry out as you rub your shin.
"Rein it in Skeletor!” Bon Bon growls. “You’re scaring the angry ponies who have spears!"
Now that your power tripping fantasy has been interrupted by a swift kick, you can see that no, the bat ponies are not swearing their undying loyalty to you. The civilians look more than a little spooked, and the guards have their spears aimed directly at you.
“Alright strangers, who or what is this thing?!” the stallion guard asked harshly to Lyra and Bon Bon.
"Who wants to know?" Tina asks back, just as threateningly while aiming her own spear at the bat ponies.
Stupid dog, you're making me look bad again. And I already looked bad enough without your help! you glare towards the diamond dog.
“Oh we’re very sorry for the loud noises, he’s just excited is all,” Lyra tries to negotiate.
Resadur164's Comment
You nervously look at the escalating situation as you try to think of a way to resolve this without having to get your asses stabbed with very pointy sticks. You take a few deep breaths in order to calm down, as fanboying or panicking in front of your future legion of bat minions would not leave the greatest first impression on them.
Come on brain, think! I’ve gotta seem approachable, and not fearful. What is the one thing I can do that won't result in disa-wait I've got it!
With that thought you take a deep breath, catching your group and the guards’ attentions as you...
Sunbro4life's Comment
Greatness492’s Comment
MagicLover2128’s Comment
Bring your arms out to the side stiffly and perform the mighty T-pose! Not only should this pose deliver the need for peace between two species without the need to verbally communicate, but it should also assert your dominance over the bat ponies. You also give out a mighty, yet soft to avoid causing a panic, 'Nyeh' in an attempt to amplify the genuine nature of it.
…
…
…
"What is this creature doing?" asks the guard.
"I don't know, maybe it’s some kind of sign of surrender?" suggests the female guard to his left.
"Whatever it’s doing, it sure looks stupid. I mean seriously, it looks like a giant scarecrow,” says the second stallion.
You can feel your eye twitch at the three lead bat pony’s comments, as well as the not so subtle murmuring from the guards surrounding you all.
“Uh Skeletor, try acting a little less suspicious please?” Lyra whimpers a bit as the crowd seem beyond confused.
Mock the serene T-pose will you?! Well, I guess it’s time to go to plan B! Tremble before the might of your new dancing god!
With that you break your power stance, before you start breaking down with a sick beat.
The three guards, the crowd and even your companions look at you utterly flabbergasted.
“What in the…”
With your beat boxing hitting a smooth rhythm, you start breakdancing like your life depended on it and moving your body in rapid, hypnotic patterns.
“It’s…dancing?” one of the guards guesses as you hear some intrigued noises from the crowd around you.
Bon Bon facehooves and shakes her head,
“We’re doomed, and we haven’t even gotten to the first X yet.”
Despite your limited space, and Bon Bon’s negativity, you get down on the ground and start doing an immaculate worm, before you start spinning around and around, ending up on your head, with your legs pointed in opposite directions.
“Nyeh!” you exclaim as you hold that pose and start catching your breath.
There is a moment of silence that follows this before everyone around you gives a polite golf clap, including the guards since they have no idea what else to do at the moment.
“Nyehheheh,” you chuckle as you stand back up and start bowing to them all the ponies around you.
“Wow, good job Skeletor,” Lyra praises.
“Yes, good pacifying master,” Beastwoman nods.
“…There’s no way that actually worked,” Bon Bon laments as the crowd looks more intrigued that scared now.
Oh quiet Ms. Secret Agent! You grunt as you look at her smugly. You clearly don't have the same refined tastes as my future bat army. Feast your eyes upon them, they’re already groveling for another performance!
"Uh...not sure what that was supposed to be, but…thank you?" guard stallion one guesses.
"I think he may have been having a seizure or something," the second guard shrugs.
“Oh come on guys, it was beatboxing, just like that traveling showmare did awhile back,” the female guard reprimands her colleagues.
Say what now? you think as your eyes latch onto her.
“Oh right, that unicorn mare that kept complaining about all the other towns she’d been in,” the guard nods.
“Exactly,” the mare nods. “Though at least this tall thing kept an awesome beat and didn’t start crying mid-performance.”
Uh-Oh, that doesn’t sound good, you think worrying about Trixie. Before you even have a chance to bring out a drawing of her though, a gruff voice cuts through the crowd.
"Alright alright, what in the princesses' names is going on around here?"
BrownDog's Comment
The three lead bat ponies stand aside and salute as a gruffer, older looking bat pony walks between them. The bat pony looks like he's been around for awhile, and judging from the wicked scar across his eye he's been in his fair share of combat as well. He also appears to be slightly bigger than the other stallions.
“Sir!” the lead stallion salutes. “We found the source of the disturbance that startled the civvies sir!”
“Yeah, we think it might be like a trained dancing circus bear or something,” the other stallion adds.
“Dancing bear huh?” The sheriff/commander, whatever he is turns his piercing, catlike yellow eyes towards you, and despite your obvious height difference, it is a bit creepy and intimidating.
Don't show fear, fear is a weakness that he'll use to take you out! Remember your horror game experiences! You’ve been through worse! You psyche yourself as he takes in every detail of you. He then looks to Tina, her spear now at her side, then to Lyra.
“So are this Diamond Dog and monkey a threat?” he asks Lyra and you scowl.
“No, no they’re not,” Bon Bon says as she steps from behind you, a subtle commanding look in her eyes. Almost immediately the sheriff’s stature becomes less intimidating as he sees Bon Bon and his eyes widen.
"Oh, uh, sorry about all this," he says to you. "Stand down everypony, it's just visitors from Canterlot...and I'm guessing everything's under control?"
Confusedly, the bat cops lower their weapons as the civilians all murmur reassured as they start making their way towards town.
Whoa, Bon Bon's got some serious agent cred. She did say she was here before, so maybe he saw how scary she could actually be. Maybe she went Casino Royale on him with a bottomless wicker chair… you wince at that image, before shaking your head from those thoughts. Nah, ponies aren’t that hardcore. More like she forced him to eat too much doughnuts like when Homer was in Hell.
“Wow, even Sheriff Nocturne is intimidated by that thing,” someone in the departing crowd mutters and the stallion winces at his hurt pride.
“Thank goodness it seems to just be a performer,” another mare sighs.
Yeah, for the sake of this guy let’s keep that lie going. I’m sure Bon Bon doesn’t want her secret out this soon. I remember how they squabbled in the 100th episode, you conclude before giving a victorious smile.
"Oh thank goodness,” Lyra sighs before looking at the sheriff. “Thank you for understanding, we’re not dangerous we swear.”
“I, uh, doubt that a bit…” he says with a gulp, eyes flickering to Bon Bon and back to her. “Just, uh, just make sure whatever the heck that thing is doesn’t scream like that anymore?” he suggests.
"Nyeh, nyeh," you nod in understanding as well as gaining your own guilty frown. You’ll admit you got a little carried away with the fanboying.
“Oh no worries, he’ll be on his best behavior, I promise,” Lyra says as she pats your leg. “By the way, how did you know I was originally from Canterlot? I moved to Ponyville recently, but do I still have some sort of upper crust accent or something?”
“Uh…a tad,” the sheriff lies as he coughs into his hoof. “But anyway, what brings you all to our little town?”
"Ponies throw us off train because they jerks," Tina admits and you smack her with your magazine. "Urf! What? It's true!"
At the curious looks from the sheriff and his three guards, Lyra chuckles nervously.
"It was all a misunderstanding...uh, do you have an express mail service? I really need to get a message to Manehattan."
The lead guard glances subtly over to Bon Bon, and upon nodding her head to confirm Lyra's story he lets out a sigh of relief.
"Oh of course! Please enjoy our local café while I get things set up for you. I hope you’re fine with waiting a while though, our last mail courier just left for Canterlot and won't return for about an hour."
"Oh no trust me that is perfectly okay,” Lyra says with a gentle smile. “I still need to write it anyway. We'll try to stay out of trouble and be out of your mane before you even know it."
"Oh trust me lady, you guys are the least of our pro-Meff!" one of the deputies is cut off as the sheriff’s wing suddenly covers his muzzle.
"What deputy Sonar means is that you won't be any trouble at all!” he says a little too fast. “Hollow Shades could use the tourism actually with how little visitors we get around here."
Both you and Bon Bon give the head guard subtle glares of suspicion at his sudden interruption and change of topic.
Oh yeah, that wasn't suspicious at all. What's got you all worried buddy?
Oblivious to it all, Lyra bashfully waves her hoof at the guards.
“Well I guess we technically are on vacation.”
“Good, good,” he says eying you strangely. “We’d be happy to set you all up nice and comfortable like until the next train comes along. We are one of the safest places in all of Equestria.”
Safest? Interesting choice of words there, you think suspiciously.
“As safe as anywhere I suppose,” Bon Bon monotones and the stallion gulps slightly.
“Right. Well anyway folks, I hope you don’t find it inconvenient, but I’d like one of my deputies to travel with you. You know, in case some of the townsfolk who didn’t rush out here sees your creature.”
“Oh, but he’s not dangerous,” Lyra defends.
“I understand that ma’am, but they don’t know that. One of my guards will be an assurance.”
Great, just when I leave my escorts behind, I get a replacement, you think sourly.
“That sounds agreeable,” Bon Bon nods and the sheriff sighs in relief.
"I'm glad we can come to an agreement. Now deputy Sonar I want yo-"
"Nah boss, I've got this,” the mare guard says as she suddenly flies up and perches on your shoulder like a parrot.
“Nyeh?” you say a bit startled as she looks at you with a fanged grin.
“Echo!” the sheriff reprimands, “You can’t just call dibs like that! There’s a chain of command to follow.”
"Aw come on Sheriff Nocturne! Pleaseeeee? I promise it won't end up like last week’s shipment transport. Nothing will catch on fire this time I swear," she begs giving him puppy dog eyes.
And suddenly the suspicious sheriff cliché seems like the least of my problems.
You think as, despite his outward appearance, not even he is immune to weaponized adorableness.
"Alright fine,” he huffs. “But you’re on thin ice Echo! And for goodness sake, get off that thing, you don’t know where it’s been!”
"Aw, but it hasn’t knocked me off yet,” she pouts. He looks at you and you just shrug.
Yeah, really she’s not all that heavy. Thanks to this new body she’s like a Pikachu resting on my shoulder.
"And besides what better way to keep an eye on it. Where it goes, I go. It's genius!"
Nocturne just sighs and facehooves.
Blatant disregard for authority and overconfidence? We got Rainbow Dash 2.0 in the making here, minus the ego. But hey, looks like I do have at least one Bat Pony wanting to follow me, despite it being an order, so I consider that a win.
“…How come I don’t get a piggy back ride?” Lyra pouts adorably at you.
“Because you don’t have wings to steady yourself,” Bon Bon points out as the Sheriff finishes rubbing his temple.
"Well enjoy your time here. Deputy Echo will escort you through town, and once the messenger pony gets back I'll send him your way. Also please do try to stay out of trouble.”
“We won’t cause any trouble, though it can’t be helped if trouble comes to us,” Bon Bon says with a smirk and the sheriff’s eye twitches.
“Well that won’t be a problem because as I said, this is the safest town in Equestria, and there is absolutely nothing wrong. Everything is business as usual...that is all." And with that, he nods to the other two deputies as they all fly off towards the town proper.
“…Anyone else think big pony say that weirdly?” Tina asks to the group.
“Nah, he’s just boasting,” Lyra waves off, completely buying it.
“Yeah, there’s no need to worry, Nocturne has been acting like that for awhile since he’s been on a recent case,” Echo says from your shoulder.
“A case huh? Spare any details?” Bon Bon inquires.
“Oh it’s nothing big, believe me. Just a couple of teens off doing teen things and worrying their overprotective parents,” she giggles.
Something tells me there’s more to it than that... you ponder as you remember Sonar getting shushed.
“Anyway, where are my manners, let me formally introduce myself. I’m Echo, what’s your guys’ names?”
“I’m Lyra Heartstrings, this is my best friend Bon Bon, and this is Tina and Skeletor,” she motions to you two and you both wave.
“Skeletor huh?” she says looking at your face. “So can it talk? What is it actually?”
“He can’t talk no, and we don’t actually know what he is, but that’s kind of why we’re on this trip, to try and figure it out.”
“No way,” she says excitedly flapping her wings. “So he’s like one of those mythical creatures like Bighoof?”
“That’s actually a good way of thinking of it,” Lyra says excitedly.
“But Master not have hooves. He have feet,” Tina points out.
“Oh, that he does,” the mare says noticing your boots. “Well whatever you are, you’ve got great moves. Do you know anymore tricks?”
You smile mischievously at that.
“NYEH!” you say loudly before…
Greatness942's Comment
Allsmiles's Comment
MagicLover2128's Comment
You suddenly bolt forward towards the town using the mighty Joestar technique.
“Whoa!” the armored mare cries out as she holds onto your shoulder for dear life while you laugh up a storm.
“Wait for me Master!” Tina calls from behind.
“Skeletor!” both Lyra and Bon Bon call after you.
NOW ENTERING: HOLLOW SHADES
After having a good laugh at your friends’ expense, you wait for them just at the entrance to town as they run up and glare at you. Echo seems a little bewildered at the experience, and at the loud noises, you see some of the towns folk looking at you curiously again, so to ease the tensions, you start beatboxing and whistling out a relaxing tune. You also whoop and cheer with a gleeful feeling much like Charlie Bucket getting his Golden Ticket and celebrating with his Grandfather at this amazing opportunity that you yourself have stumbled upon with your group, mostly the chance to see a town no Brony has...to your knowledge at least.
This seems to do the trick as they all just shrug and go about their business as Echo shakily floats down off of your shoulder.
“So, I guess he’s a bit of a prankster then huh?” she asks Lyra as her eyes stop spinning.
“Yeah, we’re starting to figure that out,” Bon Bon says with a glare towards you and you chuckle.
“Well, let’s just go a little easier and just walk through the streets shall we?” she suggests and you shrug in compliance.
Thanks to your time in Ponyville you've managed to grow used to the fearful and hesitant looks some of the bat ponies send your way, though you hate to admit it. Still thanks to your amazing breakdancing from before, more than a few just look at you like a freakshow or oddity, which is vastly superior in your opinion.
"So this Skeletor guy is like some missing link right, if he’s like Bighoof?” Echo asks.
“That’s one theory,” Lyra nods. “The divergence between Minotaurs and cows has always been a curiosity, but he might well fit that gap, though that theory does have some holes, considering he showed up out of thin air only about a month ago. He knows how to draw and communicate and seems to have a written language that not even the Princesses can decipher, so who knows.”
“Hmm,” Echo nods. “And you’re heading somewhere where you think you’ll get answers?”
“Oh yeah, near Manehattan,” Lyra smiles. “We believe there might be clues to help solve this mystery.”
Maybe, though I think it’s only going to lead to more questions, you think somberly.
“Really? Right in the Big Apple itself?” Echo asks.
“North of it actually, near Neighagra Falls. And if we do find something, that means we might be able to get funding to help us reach other locations.”
“Oh wow, that sounds like a lot of fun. I love traveling when vacation time rolls around.”
“Well, truthfully it’s more work, but I like traveling too,” Lyra smiles.
“Still, I always ache for the days when I can stretch my wings and visit somewhere else besides this town. I mean, it’s peaceful and all, but that can get really boring. This year I’m hoping to visit Canterlot.”
“You’ve never been?” asks Bon Bon.
“Nope,” she smiles. “Though really, it doesn’t matter where half the time, I just like travelling.”
“Tina not sure yet if she like it or not,” your Beastwoman jumps in. “Ponies too hard to read and lots of places might be dangerous for Master.”
She looks at the Diamond Dog and back at you.
“You keep calling him that, is he like… your owner?” the guard asks a bit perturbed.
No, you shake your head.
“Yes,” Tina nods and you all scoff at that.
“Uh-Huh…” the mare says before glaring at you. “You do realize slavery is illegal in Equestria right?”
“Nyeh, nyeh!” you wave your arms trying to dissuade that notion.
“Tina’s more like…his bodyguard for life. She’s willingly serving him,” Bon Bon speaks up in your defense.
“Hmmm,” Echo purses her lips and looks at the Diamond Dog. “That true?”
“Yes. Master save my life. A Good Guard Dog never forgets,” she proclaims puffing her chest out in pride.
“…Alright then, works for me,” the bat pony smiles wiggling her adorable fluffy ears. “I can only imagine what sorts of adventures you’ll all get into after leaving here.”
“Hopefully nothing too hectic,” Lyra chuckles.
“Even a little hectic is better than boredom,” Echo rolls her eyes. “Most of the time all I do is stand around doing nothing. Skeletor here is the most interesting thing to happen to the town since Primer brought back some souvenirs from the big city.”
“Primer?” asks Bon Bon.
“He’s one of the teens that’s “Missing”” she says giving airquotes. “He brought back some neat do dads for his fillyfriend and…well, that’s about it. Told you this town is pretty boring.”
Hmm, if it’s as boring as she says it is, maybe that can be my hook for a lot of them to join my ranks when I finally get my operation going, you think deviously. And even if you’re just fruit bat ponies, I could start training you all to bite your enemies so that they fear you more. In fact…
OmnipresentMicroorganism's Comment
Your eyes glaze over as something potentially frightening comes to mind.
Who’s to say the Stone Mask isn’t lying around Equestria? I mean, a Stand Arrow showed up, so why not? You then look to the guard mare suspiciously as she chats with Tina about something.
What if all the Bat Ponies are actually just vampires that got turned good because of the Elements or Something? Or, what if they’re still vampires and they got a Red Stone of Aja to-
“So what pointy tooth ponies eat?” Tina asks.
“Oh the same ol things like other ponies. Grass, hay, flowers, but by in large fruit is our most favorite snack.”
…Or I’m just panicking over nothing again. Still, let’s just hope that it’s not around. Last thing I need is pony Dio running around.
You shake yourself from these end of the world scenarios, and focus on your surroundings a little bit more. You continue to internally fanboy over seeing a town no Brony has seen before and but at the same time, you are thinking ten steps ahead…
Greatness942's Comment
By doing some bad guy window shopping.
Plenty of shops, the entire population can fly, I’m seeing fruit orchards in the distance…Yep, this place would be perfect self sustaining fort or base when I begin my conquest. And if that’s too much, then perhaps just some kind of garrison.
An entire town of subservient Thestrals operating far into Equestrian territory, ready and willing to follow your command is pretty tantalizing. If the worst case scenario should happen and the Princesses deem you an enemy, you’d have some places to crash.
And maybe they’d put me up with their families in The Eyrie, you think excitedly. Though first gotta get things planned out here. I'll put the barracks there, quartermaster there, a bed for Beastwoman in that alley, and a gift shop just up north with official merchandise, you think to yourself as you point around the place. Of course, to everyone else, it just seems like you are really into the village architecture.
“I guess it is pretty unique the way we have our houses set up,” Echo says aloud. She’s not wrong, because while the shops and markets are all on the ground, the houses are all built into and hanging from very large trees.
“Well I suppose it makes sense given your ancestry,” Lyra nods. “Many pegasi live in cloud houses still after all.”
“Yeah, but why shops on ground then?” asks Tina.
“So visitors can access them easily silly,” Echo giggles before her eyes brighten and she points to a shop to your right. “Oh, and here we are. The coffee’s pretty good, but we’ve got some great cobblers as well.”
BrownDog's Comment
You look at the café, and it seems sparsely decorated, the picture of a cup of coffee in the window being one of the exceptions.
“Um, there’s a bunch of children inside,” Bon Bon points through the window and indeed, you see quite a group of young Bat ponies.
EEEE, So adorable!
“It should be fine, I’m with you after all,” your escort reassures. “Just don’t make any loud noises alright?”
“Nyeh, nyeh,” you say as you roll your eyes.
And like that, you all enter the shop, and almost immediately the chatter stops as countless children eye you like a bear.
“It’s alright everypony, we’re just here for snacks too,” Echo waves. You and Tina follow suit, trying to convey that you’re friendly, and while the chatter doesn’t start up again, the atmosphere seems a little less tense.
You all take a seat as Echo goes to the counter to get you all some snacks.
“Well, I guess I better start writing that letter,” Lyra says as she gets out a quill and ink.
“Yeah good call,” Bon Bon nods as she eyes the room of younguns silently.
As the silence grows, and you start feeling a bit more uncomfortable, the group of kids start huddling and whispering to one another.
“It’s that thing that made the noise earlier.”
“My dad says it danced for them.”
“It’s really big, what is it?”
And they continue to mumble to each other as you smirk at their curiosity and whip out your notepad and start sketching. Eventually Echo comes back with cups of coffee, but you decline. You’re already hyper enough as it is. The curiosity of the kids eventually hits an impasse though as they all get up from their table as a group and slowly wander over to you.
“Uh, ma’am, can we ask them questions?” they ask your guard.
“Sure go ahead, I don’t mind,” she responds and you smile at them.
Still a bit antsy, one of the colts looks to Bon Bon.
“So, is it like a furless Diamond Dog or something?
“Nyeh!” you scold and he shrinks down.
Oh no, don’t be afraid I-
Bon Bon and Echo start laughing and seeing that the rest of the children start laughing as well while the colt blushes.
“No he’s not a Diamond Dog, we actually have no idea what he is,” Bon Bon explains.
“Oooohhhh,” they say in unison.
“Maybe he’s a shaved gorilla?" a filly suggests.
“No way, he’s obviously a mutated minotaur,” says another colt.
“Master not any of those things,” Tina defends and the children snap to attention at her bark. “Master is just Skeletor, no more no less.”
“Nyeh,” you praise as you pat Tina on the head which she wags her tail at.
Well said Beastwoman, someone’s getting an extra cookie tonight.
“But what is a Skeletor?” asks another filly.
“Yeah, and how come he can’t talk?” asks a colt.
“Don’t know,” Tina shrugs. “Master say he used to be able to talk, but can’t anymore.”
“Then how did he tell you that?” asks another child.
“Nyeh,” you interrupt as you quickly turn your notepad around and show the children your sketch of all of them.
“Ooooohhhh,” they say with sparkly eyes at your artistry.
“Yeah, like that,” Tina nods. “And Skeletor is Skeletor, don’t know much else, but that’s enough.”
The kids don’t seem to accept that explanation though.
“But where did he come from?”
“Are there more like him?”
“I wish I could draw like that.”
“Where did you get your fancy clothes?”
Ah curiosity. Unlike that poor cat though, it won’t kill you… you think with a scheming glint in your eye as you flip to some blank pages. The best way to get a following is to indoctrinate the youth. Just like all cartoons!
And with that you begin drawing battle scenes of Skeletor’s forces fighting the cowardly He-Man and his scummy Eternian allies.
“Oh wow…” the kids eat up your drawings as you draw Castle Greyskull, Snake Mountain, and other fantastical landscapes. Even Bon Bon is drawn in by your art.
“You looked so much cooler before!” one of the colts says.
“Yeah, how come you’re not blue anymore?” a filly inquires.
“And why is your face less awesome?” asks another and your eye twitches.
I’m working on it, I’m working on it…
“Also, your Diamond Dog got way less ugly,” a colt says pointing to your picture of Beastman.
“Tina Never Ugly!” she barks defensively before looking at the portrait. “But those are my clothes. Why master draw me like that? And who these others?” she points to your sketches of Evil-Lyn, Trapjaw, Mer-Man, and Tri-Klops.
Your future cohorts Beastwoman, once I fill the roles that is.
It’s then that Lyra comes back in. You didn't notice her leave since you were so busy with the children, but from the looks of things that bat pony messenger showed up faster than you'd thought he would.
“Okay, I got the letter sent. We’ve got awhile before the next train comes along, but at least the girls know we’ll be late. I just hope they don’t try to investigate themselves. The Neighagra Falls question mark site and the X North of it will require all of us.”
Well, it’s not like we’re on a time crunch anyway, you reckon. I mean, we didn’t tell Twilight or the others WHERE we were going, so it’s not like we have to hurry along.
“Come on! Come on! Show us more!” the children beg.
"Yeah, show us more of you beating up that stupid gorilla thing with the blonde mane."
“Nyeheheheheheh!" you laugh happily at their mockery of He-Man.
Ask and you shall receive.
And as you wow the children with your amazing drawings, you decide to get some brand recognition going, so you start creating posters with your logo on it for them to take home.
“Oh Cool!”
“Is this your symbol?”
“I like it!”
Hopefully these little tykes will be spray painting this on buildings, carving it into trees, and stitching it into their clothes as they spread my glory!
“Can we have copies of your battle drawings so we can show our friends?” asks a colt.
Of course! You think happily as you start handing out your sketches.
“Awesome!”
“There’s got to be more battles right?” asks a filly and your eyes sparkle as you nod.
Ello Calebero's Comment
You know, with my drawing skills I could probably make a comic series out of Skeletor's life, And if I do that...I could be swimming in dough!
The kids clearly are fascinated by just your art and the battles, so it’s not too out of the realm of possibility.
Surely it would take the nation by storm! You mentally declare as you imagine Scrooge McDuck diving into a pile of bits, before a phantom pain strikes your head.
Okay, maybe not do that part, you concede remembering your disastrous results back at the Diamond Dog caves. Maybe one of the unicorns has a spell or something that would allow for gold swimming…
Your train of thought is cut off however when reality kicks in and you remember a major flaw in your plan.
Wait! I can't even read the Equestrian language let alone write it! Damn it!
True you haven’t been a slouch in the time since the Dragon showing up and now, but the language is complex and it’s still hard for you to identify one squiggle from the next in their alphabet. So unless you want to write a comic book with only the words “Yes” “No” “Maybe” and thanks to Pinkie, “Ice Cream,” then you’re SOL.
Then again I could just rely on my images to sell and be the next Bob Ross...or even better I could get Spike to be my writer. Although he wouldn’t get the names or dialogue correct…
“Wait a second, that thing on your back shoots laser beams?” A colt says excitedly as he points to your Havoc Staff and the drawing you gave him.
“Nyeh,” you nod and all of their eyes dilate in wonder.
“Show us! Show Us!” they all start chanting.
Very Well Then! You stand up excitedly as you bring the staff up and they all start cheering.
Greatness942's Comment
Allsmiles's Comment
You then point at a table and the kids start yelling excitedly.
“Do it! Dot it!”
“Nyeheheheheheh!” you raise the staff and point it at the table.
“Skeletor…” but a very dangerous threatening voice causes you to pause. You look behind you and see Bon Bon giving you the nastiest glare you’ve received today. It’s almost like you can physically feel it.
Yeesh, does spy training involve literal looks that kill, or...?
You look back and forth between her and the kids, but every time you so much as raise it up her scowl deepens.
Oh alright fine, better not push it, you think bitterly as you lower it and look to the kids with a sorrowful shake of your head.
“Aaaahhhhh,” they whine in disappointment.
Yeah, I know, I know, You nod sympathetically as you sit back down. When you do, Bon Bon stops glaring and you sigh.
Well ultimately I can’t really blame her for acting like that, you think introspectively. I mean, it’s because of me that we’re delayed in the first place. If I just had actual control over this thing, I probably wouldn't have destroyed that food cart. I...I need to get a better hang on this thing.
If you were the true Skeletor, then you’d know the inner workings of this thing already, but since you’re new to it, you still need practice, practice that won’t result in hurting others or getting in trouble. You glance at your two pony companions as they drink their coffee.
I mean, sure, performance failure happens to every guy sooner or later, however it's obviously disappointed and caused problems for both ladies here, and they won't be looking forward to future interactions with me and my staff. Obviously, I need to get it under control, and learn how NOT to blow up at the slightest touch.
You blink owlishly at that thought as something about its wording seems...off, but you’re not quite sure why. Shrugging, you return to your introspection.
Control, is every bit as important as vigor, even more so. So, again, learn how to control it, we don't want to disappoint my lady friends again now do we?
With a new task in mind, and also feeling like you just thought something really embarrassing but not sure what, you put the staff back on your back and take out your notebook to jolt down your latest side quest.
NEW SIDE QUEST CREATED: Learn to Better Control the Havoc Staff to Avoid Future Mishaps
Smiling at that you then look back at the two ponies.
Allsmiles's Comment
A Tin Can's Comment
You know...I really should do something to make it up to Lyra and Bon Bon for all the trouble I caused.
While you doubt Lyra was really bothered by the whole thing since she still will get to explore some unknown ruins, and Bon Bon doesn't seem to be the type to hold a grudge, you can't help but feel guilty. Especially in Lyra's case considering how she managed to bump herself up to 'best friend' status in only a short amount of time.
Sure that's mostly because these ponies are far too friendly for their own good most of the time, and you'd bet they'd try to make friends with a Xenomorph if it didn't immediately kill them on the spot, but that's beside the point. The point is that you consider Lyra one of your best friends here in Equestria (Pinkie will always remain number one however), and whether she thinks the same or not you still feel like you need to make it up to her.
Besides, she might make for a good back up Evil Lynn if none of my other candidates work out.
You have been considering Lyra a potential candidate slot ever since her speech the week before, but you haven't given it any full thought since she doesn't really have the 'evil sassiness' factor quiet yet. But that won't stop you from potentially adding her to the role if none of the other choices work out. Though you kinda hope that doesn't happen as you’re really banking on at least Trixie due to her voice actress.
Also, Lyra and Bon Bon have done a lot for me, which is another factor into it all. I mean Lyra didn't have to conspire with me and get my things so I could be a part of this endeavor, she chose to. Likewise, while Bon Bon wasn't as enthusiastic about it, she chose to help Lyra, and put her own legal status and well-being at risk, and went along with helping me. And at this point, I've repaid them for that kindness... by making it much harder for them to do the thing they're all setting out to do in the first place.
That thought hits you like a ton of bricks, and grit your teeth in determination,
Alright, I've made up my mind! I'm gonna go into town and see if I can find anything to make things up to the two of them. Maybe find some mystical artifact for Lyra, and some spy thing for Bon Bon. Giftshops sell grappling hooks right?
But before you can act on this impulse, one of the filly’s in your little fan club walks closer to you and taps your foot.
“Um, excuse me, Mr. Skeletor?” she says hesitantly and you about die from the Daww factor of her little fluffy ears.
Holy crap! Adorableness truly is a weapon of mass destruction! I think I just saw my life flash before my eyes when I saw her...why was it so blurry?
Before you can ponder on this, the young filly speaks up,
“Hi, my name is Inky, you’re like a hero right?” she asks and your smile widens.
“Of course he Hero. He save my life from Bone Monster,” Tina praises and the little filly’s eyes widen in hope.
“You have?!” she asks excitedly.
“Nyeh,” you brag.
“Oh thank goodness,” she sighs in relief. “Then you can save my brother and my parents.”
“…Nyeh?” you ask clearly not expecting that.
“What you mean little pony?” asks Tina while your pony companions obliviously chat on the other side of the table.
“Oh, well Primer and his fillyfriend went into the Rum Caves a few days ago, but then they didn’t come out,” she explains.
What the? Primer? Isn’t that the name of the kid Echo was talking about?
“Nyeh?” you encourage her to go on.
“So please, you have to help them. The sheriff went in, but then he ran out screaming and blocked the caves off. Kept saying how they probably just went on vacation, which is stupid because Primer just got back from vacation, but everypony believes him!”
You sweat nervously as you look over at Echo, who still hasn’t heard this conversation.
“The guards didn’t do anything, so my parents and his fillyfriend’s parents went out last night to explore the caves, and they’re still not back yet,” she says worriedly.
Okay, this is definitely dangerous sounding. I better get Echo involved and-
“But since you know how to deal with bone monsters, then you’ll be able to stop those things.”
…What?!
“What you mean filly?” Tina asks with a gulp and she reaches into her saddlebags.
“I saw the monster in the cave before the Sheriff blocked it off. It looked just like the thing on this card that my brother found when he was at Neighagra Falls,” she declares as she mouths what looks like a playing card into your hand.
You bring it up to view, and the color drains from your face.
No…No friggen way…
“He had a few more of those, and he had them with him when he and Eclipse went into the cave. Do you think you can stop them?” the filly asks desperately.
Stop them?! Kid, I’m more worried if you’re family’s in the Shadow Realm or not. Where the hell did he even get a Yu-Gi-Oh card in the first place?!
At the sight of the card in your hands, there is only one, true thing that you know, deep in your core that you must do. And that thing is...
I must become the King of Games! It is the only solution! But where am I going to find an ancient Egyptian artifact that houses a pharaoh that can play the card games for me?
Yeah...needless to say the shock of the card’s presence has left you in a bit of hysteria. Which is understandable given how dangerous the implications of yet another magic system finding it’s way into Ponyland is.
No wait, focus! You shake your head as you flip the card around and around to study it better, though that doesn’t change the truth at all.
Allsmiles's Comment
BrownDog's Comment
Yu-gi-oh cards. Flippin Yu-gi-oh cards! How in the god damn did they make their way here?
You panic a bit as you become unaware of your surroundings and begin to nervously pace back and forth while chewing on your thumb.
The little filly and Tina just stare at your nervous pacing in confusion.
“What is it Master, do you know what this is?” Tina asks looking at the card.
Know it!? I practically had a whole collection of these things back home! I mean, it’s not even a playing card version, this looks like it came from the actual show. Oh god help me if this kid’s brother has the blue eyes white dragon…
Since Tina's not a mind reader, she of course has no clue you've answered her question. Instead she just tilts her head even more as your pacing increases.
"Is Mr. Skeletor okay?"
Tina looks down at the surprisingly calm filly before shrugging and saying,
"Tina pretty sure this normal for Master. Just give him a few minutes, and he'll be back to normal...at least Tina thinks he will..."
Oh god there's no telling how many different options, all manner of different decks, all kinds of traps and spells and monsters and minions are in Equestria if this isn't the only card or deck!
Your mind thinks back to all the episodes from the original show and later, especially the ones when the supposed 'holographic' cards managed to blow up entire buildings or even a certain crazy ass card spirit that tried to destroy the whole world in a twisted love for the main character...
Ya know thinking on it, GX was a weird ass series-wait no not the problem right now! Focus! What if Yu-Gi-Oh isn't the only trading card game here!? Magic the Gathering? Pokemon!? Trading card games based off of already popular franchises!? Literally all the other ones that people don't care about!? Sky's the limit Skeletor! Sky's the limit. Though Pokémon wouldn’t be so bad, even with all it’s ghost types being actual souls of the dead and all…
“He’s still pacing,” says Inky.
“Mmhmm,” Tina nods. “Good thing ponies not that attentive,” she points to the Echo, Lyra and Bon Bon.
“So wait, you’re friends with the Element of Magic?”
“Well…I mean, we all went to the same classes, but she hangs out with her new friends much more than what she did with us,” Lyra admits.
And while they’re busy discussing gossip, you continue your mental ramblings.
denneylaw's Comment
Okay...okay calm down, let's not panic. You take a deep breath and exhale before continuing that thought, For all I know, it could be a misunderstanding. Maybe Inky’s brother found a duel disk and tried it out then ran off with his girlfriend when the boneheads showed up. That means they’re just shambling and have no complex commands…
You consider that illusion for a few heartbeats before shaking your head.
Yeah right, considering how crazy this world is I highly doubt it would be that simple. Though if there is a duel disc, I could use it as a good scare tactic for my enemies!
You briefly imagine all the pranks you could pull on Foxtrot if that is the case, but you push those thoughts aside.
Of course if this really IS the work of the Shadow Realm, than plan B would also involve finding the millennium items as well. Maybe if I'm lucky, I could find the millennium eye, or the millennium necklace so I really would have psychic powers. Then again, what's the point of having future vision if I already know most of the canon by heart now anyway?
This train of thought leads you off track yet again.
Of course Kaiba also proved to Ishizu that the future could also be changed so who knows? Maybe if I'm really lucky I could find the millennium rod, so I could easily take control of my enemies like that. With practice of course... Nah, on second thought my Havoc Rod-er, Staff is good enough. Of course maybe the millennium-wait no stop it!
Maybe your sister was right, medication could have helped keep you focused in day to day life.
Oh man this isn't good! What the hell am I supposed to do against the Shadow Realm of all things?! I'm just Skeletor, not freaking Yugi Mo-wait a minute.
And like that, an important fact shines to you, a fact that should have been always on your mind, yet your moment of panic caused you to momentarily forget it. What is this fact? Why simply...
Allsmiles's Comment
CroisSunnyPlay's Comment
That you are Skeletor, and Skeletor bows to nothreat!
Copying Twilight and Cadence's breathing exercises from the show you start to calm yourself down, which your henchwoman and the little filly notice.
Alright, there's a time for blind soul-crushing panic, and there's a time to shove your fears to the side and embrace your inner Skeletor destiny. And by my watch, it’s Nyeh-O’clock!
Once you've calmed down enough to not pace like a nervous wreck, you look back to the dog and pony.
"Master? Did you have some sort of vision from that card thing? Is that why you got so nervous?" your loyal goon asks.
You nod your head, making sure to emphasize this by showing the card and getting that 'far out, cloudy' stare that you've deemed your 'past vision' mode. This causes Tina to nod her head in understanding, while the filly still looks confused.
"I don't understand? Did Mr. Skeletor see my family or something when he grabbed that card?"
Tina, being the loyal minion that she is, starts to explain to the naïve filly how your 'powers' work. While she is doing this you take this time to think out just what this monster card could mean in the grand scheme of things.
Alright, so that means this card and any others are not from this world, or mine. Just like the Stand Arrow and the Alchemy on the Skele-Dog this is somehow real. The question is, did Megan leave this behind? Inky’s brother was on vacation near Neighagra Falls which is a location on our map…but why would the original pegasister even have access to these anime things? As far as I know the only time franchises crossover like this is either a crummy Drug PSA, or bad fanfiction…
A few seconds of mental silence hit you after that thought, before a loud crash echoes throughout your mind. Your poor train of thought gets ran over yet again by another train. This passengers try to grab one another as they fly through the air, but sadly it is all for naught.
IS THAT WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?! AM I IN THE DAMNED INTERNET?!
And, unfortunately for the thought passengers, that particular train of thought gets ran over too.
If I am, The Matrix movies got it all wrong. I don’t feel like I’m made up of ones and zeroes, so maybe I’m just jumping to conclusions. Though if I were in the internet then I’d just figure out how to use memes as an energy source and defeat He-Man once and for all! I bet his mind would melt when subjected to the Rick Roll on repeat and-AGH! FOCUS!
You slap yourself, and while Tina and Inky flinch, you start focusing more on the task at hand.
Okay, so the card I'm holding is a King of the Skull Servants. If this was based off a deck, it's definitely a Skull Servant deck, or rather a 'Wight' deck if this person was a professional... or, well, whoever made it just liked the cards and shoved a few into their deck if they're not. Or it could be just from a package set from the store, which honestly might be the best option given the other ones. But that thinking is more in line with the card game in my world and not the “real” one.
You frown at that, wondering if your nerdy background might not be as useful as you thought.
The point is, there's skeletal servants affot, and I've got the KING of them, in my hand. I do want an army and what’s more thematically correct for a serving force than the SKULL SERVANTS for lord SKELETOR?
You smile your usual crazy scheming grin, but you are quick to tone it down and hold back a laugh as you remember that building an army of skeletons isn't your main priority at the moment. What matters now is figuring out if this filly's family is still okay, what's exactly holding them captive, and if the possibility of more monster cards being involved is a factor.
That, and it's definitely not going to be that easy to just make them work for me, because of course it won't be, it never is…but it’s still something to keep in mind. If there are any other cards involved besides these skull guys I'll try and nab them all, and then be responsible with their use... after all, I'm still a bit on thin ice because of that staff thing. Besides...
You glance at the filly, who is now staring at you with a look of awe, no doubt due to Tina's explanation of your “gifts.”
These guys have already kidnapped ponies for whatever reason, so who knows what kind of damage they'll do once I've got them? It would be better if I just kept them out of ponies hooves so they don't cause more damage in the future, same goes for any of the other stuff I find at these X's. Worst case scenario...well I did always want to see how big a fire could go with nothing but paper fueling it...
You smile outwardly, but that has the consequence of the filly currently looking at you in awe to snap out of her trance and take that as a confirmation that you're willing to help.
"Oh thank you, Mr. Skeletor! C'mon, I'll show you where the cave is!" She says and grabs your hand and tries to drag you outside. Of course, you're not one to deny children, especially tiny, floofy eared, adorable bat horses, so you let yourself be led outside, much to the annoyance of a certain agent, who seems to have finally noticed the commotion that you've been making with the small filly.
“Hey!” she says and even though you don’t turn around, you know she’s glaring at you.
Sorry Miss 'Frown-A-Lot'. Not even your glares can compete with weaponized cuteness! Nyeh! You think smugly at her.
As you exit the building you notice the jingle of a bell behind you as the café doors open again.
"Skeletor! Just where do you think you’re going!? We promised the sheriff we wouldn't cause any trouble!" Bon Bon scolds as she and Lyra catch up to you, Tina, and Inky.
Strangely enough your bat pony escort is not following them, despite the fact that she's supposed to be keeping an eye on you all, (specifically you, but who needs the details?).
“Nyeh?!” you ask pointing at the guard through the window.
“She’s paying the bill, so you should wait right there mister while she-“
“NYEH!” you interrupt and shake your head.
“And why the hay not?!” she growls back.
"Calm down Bonny, I'm sure he has a good explanation for running off, right Skell?” Lyra mediates.
You quirk your eyebrow slightly at the nickname, but you shrug it off and prepare to draw some pictures to explain the situation.
"Oh! Mr. Skeletor here is going to help me save my parents from an evil monster!" Inky beats you to the punch.
…
…
…
"WHAT!?"
You and Tina both lean back at how loud the two mares shocked response was to the fillys simple summary. You can't help but pick your ear slightly to try and get some hearing back as you think,
Well, they took it better than I thought they would. I mean I probably should have gotten them right at the start, but hey this works too.
"Skeletor, explain. Right. Now!"
You can't help but gulp at Bon Bon's tone, and you immediately take out your notebook and start to sketch in order to avoid the mare's wrath. But apparently your fast drawing skills are no match for a filly whose parents are in danger as once again Inky begins explaining for you.
The little fillies explanation is the same as the one she gave you in the café, however unlike before the poor thing seems to get choked up half way through. The sight of the teary eyed and shaking bat filly sets alarm bells off in your head, mainly the 'adorable thing is in distress, must make all things good' alarms that all people have in their brains.
Without much thought you instinctively start to gently pet the poor thing, making sure to avoid any of the areas the ponies have deemed 'awkward' for one reason or another. You already get scolded, and probably will continue to get scolded for petting behind the ears, so best not do that with a child. Thankfully your gentle pats are not met with enraged glares by the two mares, if anything it’s the opposite as they both look surprised at your gentle display. Well, Bon Bon is at least, Lyra just looks impressed while also sending a smug look towards her.
Geeze Bonny, it’s not like the only thing I'm capable of doing is causing messes and loud noises, I can be gentle and quiet when I want to!
…
Okay, I can usually be gentle and quiet, but that's beside the point.
Your mental tangent aside, your comforting of the filly manages to calm her down and she's able to finish her tale to the two mares. When she brings up just where her brother got the cards, Lyra's eyes widen in shock at the fact that they were found near your group’s current goal.
"So wait, your brother found some strange cards and the skeleton monster that you saw in the cave looked just like that one here?" she says as she tries to grab the card out of your hand with her magic. Thinking quickly you gently bop the green pony on her head, stopping her magic and causing her to yelp.
“Yowch! What the hay?!” she rubs her head.
Sorry Lyra, but can't be too careful with this thing. Don't know what might happen if a unicorn touches it, much less your magic.
Thankfully Bon Bon seems to share your thoughts on the matter as she glares suspiciously at the card.
"Yeah, I think Skeletor has the right idea here. If what Inky said is true, then it’s likely that monster in the cave came from those cards, or at least went after them because of them. We don't want to do anything that might cause...well somethingto happen. As much as I don't like his attitude, it’s probably best for Skeletor to hold onto it for now."
"Nyeh!"
Hey! what's that supposed to mean!?
A Tin Can's Comment
Ignoring your annoyed cry Bon Bon gets onto eye level with the filly, currently hugging your leg in comfort, and gently asks her,
"Now, Inky was it?" At the filly's nod the mare gives her a gentle smile before continuing, "Okay Inky, is there anything else you can remember? Did your brother bring anything else back from his trip? Anything that might have looked weird or suspicious besides those cards?"
You are a bit surprised at how calm and gentle Bon Bon's tone is, but then you remembered the mare’s not-so-secret past.
Makes sense, since I bet there were plenty of times she had to interrogate kids on her missions...well if she was a 'more action, less espionage' kind of agent. Maybe she was more Men in Black than James Bond?
Before you can get too lost in thought about this, Inky answers.
"Well...he did have this weird disk thing too, it was made of metal and looked like you were supposed to put something in these slots on it, but that was it.”
Your eyes widen in recognition at the filly's description, and your group seems to notice this.
"What is it Skeletor? Do you know what that disk thing Inky mention might be?" Lyra asks noticing your shocked and widened eyes.
Resadur164's Comment
Oh I know alright, and we're in a far deeper mess then I previously thought.
With that thought you call upon your inner Kaiba (cause really he should have won and would have if Yugi did not pull that Exodia out his butt) to help you explain via your amazing drawing skills what the Dueling Disk is, how it works, though trying to explain the lore would eat up time you don’t have, so you just draw a loser getting sucked into the Shadow Realm, which they of course take to mean death (as it should be).
"That...that's not good," Lyra mumbles out as a hoof covers her mouth in shock.
"Okay, how do you know all this anyway?" Bon Bon asks in suspicion.
Before you can defend yourself, your loyal Beastwoman comes to your aid.
"Master had vision of card’s past, must be how he knows about these things."
"I thought he only got visions from the future?" Bon Bon asks with a quirked brow.
"Master does, but if he touches something with history he sees its past, but only if history is valuable to present...at least that what Tina thinks he means."
You roll your eyes at Tina's unnecessary ending remark, but before you can 'comment' on it Lyra speaks up again,
"If that's the case, then Primer might have been..."
Lyra, and by extension you and Bon Bon, glance down at the little filly who thankfully didn't get to see your explanation as she is still holding onto your leg for comfort. You and Bon Bon share an uneasy glance.
"It's too early to make that assumption now. Besides it’s just as good a chance that he caused that monster to appear, either on accident or purpose. For now we shou-"
"No! My brother may be a bit of a block head but he would never summon some icky monster or hurt his marefriend or his family!"
You quickly bend down and start petting the filly once again while sending Bon Bon a brief glare for her accidental callousness, as does Lyra.
Okay, clearly my earlier thoughts of her being good with kids might have been a bit preemptive.
After a few seconds of calming the filly down once again, Lyra takes a deep breath and speaks up in a calm tone,
"Okay, I think the best thing we can do is find the sheriff and tell him what's going on. I'm sure once he knows just how dangerous the situation is, he'll let us help. Or at least get the Princesses involved."
Both you and Bon Bon snort and roll your eyes at that, and after a few moments of giving each other weird looks for the accidental stereo Bon Bon says,
"Please Lyra, remember what Inky said? That coward of a sheriff knows perfectly well how dangerous the situation is, but he's all set on ignoring it. If there's anything to be done, we have to do it ourselves." You nod at this assessment.
Yeah, plus knowing how things work in ponyland that guys gonna give us jail time to keep things all hush hush. That or try to bribe us, but the mighty Skeletor takes no one’s bribe...when lives are involved at least.
"But Bonny, you’re usually the first one to say we need to get the guards involved whenever this type of stuff happens,” Lyra points out.
Okay, now that needs to be explained. Just what the hell kind of non-canon or canon adventures have you two even been on? The Changeling invasion hasn't even happen yet!
"Look Lyra, the only reason I'm even suggesting this is because I highly doubt that sheriff will let us help. He seems like the type to talk big, then run with his tail between his hooves at the first sign of trouble."
Ya know the way you say that, it makes it sound like you know from personal experience, you observe.
"Well...I trust your judgment Bonny,” Lyra says after a sigh. “Let’s go save Inky's family!"
With a bright smile Lyra starts walking off...before turning around and chuckling sheepishly.
"Uh, where are the Rum Caves exactly?"
You, Tina, Bon Bon, end even Inky both can't help but chuckle at Lyra's eagerness before everyone is cut off by an unamused grunt.
"Alright, I've heard enough!"
You and the others all look over at the Café entrance in shock as an angry looking Echo exits the door.
"Echo! There you are, we were just about to head back i-"
Echo holds her hoof up, interrupting Lyra.
"Save it, I've heard enough as it is. Sheriff Nocturne has been in charge of this town for twenty years and he's been my mentor since I was a filly! I'm not just going to sit back and watch you badmouth him, nor let you all sneak off just because of some filly's story!"
Huh, she's even loyal to a fault despite the obvious...she really is Rainbow 2.0! Damn it! Why couldn't you be my minion, you know how valuable that kind of loyalty is to a hammy villain?!
"Now Echo, I know you trust your sheriff, but we have plenty of evidence and past experiences with Skeletor's visions being true,” Bon Bon explains. “We need to get to that cave an-"
"And do nothing. I'm sorry, but unless you have any actual physical proof you’re not getting anywhere near that cave. The Sheriff is an honorable stallion and would never purposely let the ponies of this town suffer!" the bat pony says with a glare.
As the tension between you all start to increase, Echo's words strike a chord in you, especially in light of Inky’s sad, desperate face.
BrownDog's Comment
Honorable My Ass! That stupid jerk blocked off those exits just because he saw a bag of bones! Well, I’ve dealt with one skeleton already, so let’s add a few more under my belt! I really hope you will still want to be my minion after I do this Echo…
“NNNNYYYEEEHHH!!!” you loudly cry out loud as you kick dust into the bat pony’s eyes drawing the attention of everypony on the street.
"AH! My Eyes! It Burns!" she cries as she starts rubbing them furiously.
The others look at you in shock, but you just shrug it off as you continue with your plan.
“Nyeh!” you throw your hands up, signaling there’s no time to lose as you gesture for Inky to lead you all.
“O-oh right! Okay, right this way!” she says ecstatically as she flies down the road.
Joestar Technique, Activate! You think in resolve as you chase after the filly.
“Wait Skeletor! Don't just run off without us!” Lyra says startled before following your example.
"Dang it Skeletor! Nice distraction and all, but next time don't make so much noise!" Bon Bon shouts as she follows after you all, a determined look in her eyes.
“Don’t just run off! Get back here!” Echo calls out as she desperately tries to rub the dust out of her eyes, but because ponies don’t have the advantageous and dexterous use of fingers, you’ll have some time.
“Get with program bat pony! Lives are at stake!” Beastwoman chides as she sprints after you.
As the four of you sprint, Inky eventually lands on your shoulder like Echo did and starts directing you. Though Tina and Lyra fall behind as you dash in and out of trees and houses.
The Baron's Comment
You whistle loudly for them to hurry up, and you hear them grunt.
“Okay!” Tina says from behind you as she doubles her pace.
Hmm, You know, with all my skills in whistling and that one time I helped Pinkie with those Parasprites, maybe I could try my hand in musical notation? I mean I know some of the notes back from back in the day, and hey I could even get Lyra involved an-wait no stop it thoughts! Now is clearly not the time!
With a shake of your head you put the musical language idea on the backburner as you focus on getting to that cave as fast as possible.
BrownDog’s Comment
Eventually Inky leads you to the Rum Cave entrance where not only is there police tape, but Sheriff Nocturne is there blocking it with stones.
“What the-What are you doing here?” he demands as he sees you running.
“He’s here to save my family!” Inky shouts as she flies off your shoulder, very much upset with the stallion.
“Y-You’re family’s not here,” he lies badly. “They’ve just gone out to-“
“NNNYYYEEEHHH!!!” You shout in his face as you aim the Havoc Staff right at his chest and send forth a telekinetic punch that sends him crashing right into his stacked rocks.
Take that you lying cowardly piece of crap! You don’t deserve your badass looks!
Lyra and Bon Bon catch up just after that, and both look at you like you’re crazy. Well...Lyra does at least, Bon Bon just has this strange look of pride and anger.
"Dang it Skeletor, we could have interrogated him for more info! Did you have to knock him out so fast!?"
Wait, you would have let me knock him out after going Jack Bauer on him?
"Bon Bon!" Lyra says aghast.
"What? The guy deserved it for trying to abandon Inky's family. Stupid coward..."
"I-I mean yeah he should have been punished or something, but Skeletor could get in real trouble if the Princesses found out. I mean, he shot the sheriff!”
“Hmmph, but he did not shoot the deputy,” Tina points out and you smirk.
Excellent quip there Beastwoman, even though I doubt you realize it, you praise as you give her a pat and look at Lyra. And I appreciate the concern Lyra...because yeah I actually didn't think that one through. I wonder if Celestia will take saving a whole town as outweighing magically blasting one of her little ponies?
“Sheriff Nocturne!” Echo cries out in alarm, knocking you from your thoughts, as she zooms past you to check the knocked out stallion.
Crap, I was hoping the dust would give us more time! Curse you cartoon logic, why can you never be on my side!?
“What the buck is wrong with you all?!” Echo shouts as she gets into a defensive stance and glares you down with eyes that are still a bit watery and red.
“NYEH!” you shout and point to the filly on your shoulder.
“Get away from him Inky. He is dangerous and-“
“No, he’s trying to save my family! The sheriff was trying to block them in!” she defends.
“Why would he do such a thing?” Echo says unbelieving before glaring back at all of you. “Alright, you’re all under arrest! Cooperate and I’ll make sure you get a fair and decently short trial!"
The tension is thick between your group and Echo as you all stare each other down. While you’re certain you'd be able to knock her out with the Staff, either through magic or your uncanny ability to knock ponies out on accident, but you'd rather not soil the future minion prospects anymore then you already have.
Time seems to slow down as you desperately try to think up of some plan to get Echo to stand down...and once you do you can't help but grimace.
Okay, this is either going to work or totally backfire. Let's hope for the former!
With that thought you slowly put down the Havoc Staff onto the ground, surprising your companions.
"Skeletor! What are you doing!?"
You simply wink at Bon Bon before you put your hands up and slowly start walking towards Echo. She tenses slightly, but once it’s clear that you aren't going to attack and are just surrendering she smirks.
"That's right big guy, I knew you'd see reason. Now let me just see if I have any cuffs your size an-"
You interrupt Echo as, the moment you’re close enough, you quickly reach your arm out towards her. Echo's eyes widen in surprise, but before she can do anything you...
Jaro45's Comment
Start to scratch behind Echo's big, fluffy ears. Your hope was that, like with Gilda, this might be able to calm her down. That, and they're just too cute not to scratch and you've been looking for an excuse this whole time.
"What are you...mmmm"
And like with practically every other creature you've done this too, Echo melts into your touch and loses her angry posture from before. She also starts to let out adorable screeching sounds, so an added bonus for you.
"Skeletor! Come on man, why do you have to keep doing that?!"
"Oh come on Bonny, you have to admit it’s pretty effective."
At the two mares comments you turn around to give them a sheepish smile. When you do, you’re surprised to see that Bon Bon is really the only one annoyed by your action. Lyra just looks kinda sad for some reason and maybe a little envious but you can't really tell. Beastwoman however seems locked out of the loop.
"Tina don't get it, what so bad about comfy scratches?"
The two mares don't answer her, and it is now that you realize that Bon Bon has covered Inky's eyes. At this you can't help but sigh in annoyance before you stop scratching Echo and think,
One of these days I will find a pony who will find my scratches to be socially acceptable! One day I swear!
The affects of your scratches start to wear off on Echo, but thankfully she seems far more calm than before as she mumbles out,
"Aw, why'd you stop? Wait a second, wasn't I doing some-AAAIIIIEEE!!!” she shrieks as suddenly a pair of boney hands wrap around her barrel and pull her into the darkness of the cave while another pair grab the unconscious sheriff and yank him in.
“WHAT THE BUCK?!” both Lyra and Bon Bon shout together while Inky screams.
SON OF A BITCH! You think in alarm.
Acting quickly you desperately try to grab Echo, but it is all for naught as she just barely misses your out reached hand as she's dragged inside.
“HELP ME!!!” Echo’s voice echoes as she is quickly dragged further into the cave system.
I almost had her damn it! You think angrily as your hand curls into a fist. Suddenly a boney hand curls around your wrist and tries to yank you in as well. That's it, no more mister nice guy!
Using your Eternian muscles, you yank your ensnared hand out of the cave, and with it comes the upper torso of a human skeleton clad in purple robes.
Your group screams again as the monster seems perplexed that you yanked it out. Before it has a chance to do anything you grip it’s arm in both hands and rip it off of the creature. I lets out a ghostly wail, but you silence it forever as you bring your boot down on it’s head again and again and again, curb stomping it into a million tiny pieces.
Panting a little, more so from the intensity of your anger more than exertion, you watch as the remains of the Skull Servant poof out of existence, leaving no trace of it behind.
“What in the actual…” Bon Bon gasps in disbelief.
“H-He destroyed it,” Lyra says looking at you in awe.
“It’s bone monsters again…Tina will be more useful this time!” she says in determination as she levels her spear at the cave entrance.
Nodding at your henchwoman’s enthusiasm, you look to Inky, who still looks scared out of her gourd.
You point at her and motion for her to stay right where she’s at, and she nods.
The last thing I need is to put a kid in danger. Now...
You stomp towards your staff and pick it up in anger, snapping the others out of their fear. You turn back towards the cave entrance and begin to head towards it, giving a short whistle for Tina to follow you.
“Yes Master!” she obeys..
“Nyeh!” you nod as you raise your staff and begin to enter.
No one steals my future minions from me! It’s time to kick some boney skeleton butt!
Greatness942's Comment
You then twirl your Havoc Staff, magic emitting from the top, as it dances around you like an aura of badassery truly fitting of your identity in what must surely be an inspiring image…until you promptly drop it as the staff hits the top of the cave entrance.
"Welp...that killed the mood,” Bon Bon quips and you sigh dejectedly.
I still curb stomped a Skeleton to death missy!
“Okay Inky, we’ll head inside, but if we don’t come out in 20 minutes, get as many guards as you can,” Lyra instructs the filly.
“Okay, please be careful, and please Mr. Skeletor, save my family,” she pleads.
You look at her in the cave entrance and hold your thumb up.
“Nyeh,” you reassure her.
“…” she stares at you blankly.
“That means alright,” Tina translates.
“Oooohhh,” she nods in understanding and you sigh again as you walk further into the caves.
NOW ENTERING DUNGEON: THE RUM CAVES
OmnipresentMicroorganism's Comment
Jaro45's Comment
Ello Calebero's Comment
As you all walk, Bon Bon whisper shouts instructions to you.
“Alright Skeletor, you can clearly handle these monsters, but there are undoubtedly much more. If we want to find Echo and Inky’s family and not draw attention, we need to keep quiet and stay on alert at all times. That goes for you too Lyra and Tina.”
“Nyeh,” you whisper and nod, actually heeding her tactics that she no doubt picked up as a spy, especially since you are the one leading the charge.
Which is a good thing since I have the magic rod of blowupness, and you know what they say, there’s no better training than in-field experience. As long as my posse stays a safe distance behind me, the cave is the perfect place to try and test out what does what with the Havoc Staff on some real (for a given value of reality) opponents. Plus it’s a skeleton, so bonus points for no moral dilemma behind them!
You give your Havoc Staff a quick squeeze to reassure yourself as you continue to think,
Besides, I know Inky said the only other thing her brother brought back besides the cards was a Duel Disk, but even if there was a millennium item, those things are ancient objects and my staff is ancient and should allow me to participate in a Shadow Duel if it comes down to it. Which is a relief because...
You glance back at your group behind you in worry, but you quickly shake it off and look forward once again as you finish your thought,
No, everything will work out. I just have…to…crap!
You think in dread as you hold up a palm to stop your group.
Whelp, there’s the missing ponies, you shudder.
You and your group have entered a large, chamber like area that's barren all except for at the far end of the chamber. To the left are what look like cages made of bone (thankfully none are recent), holding what looks like to be a good chunk of bat ponies including the knocked out sheriff and surprisingly quiet Echo. You'd figured you'd be hearing her loud insults at her captor given how similar she is to Rainbow, but from the looks of things she's trying to calm down the other trapped ponies.
Aside from the cages there isn’t much else in the chamber, except the disturbing skull throne in the center. Again, none of the bones look to be from recent times, however sitting on the throne is a familiar monster. The King of the Skull Servants sits on his throne almost lazily...while a horde of Skull Servants kneel before him.
There looks to be at least seven of them, all decked in a variety of armor. Some are wearing helmets, others chest plates, or simply wearing their usual blue robes. You’re thankful there's no sign of any Skull Knights, but you are nervous at how many there are.
If I remember correctly, these guys are stronger the more of them that are on the field. Add in that Skull Servant King...yikes.
To make matters worse is that, unlike the Skele-Dog, these are all human skeletons. A fact which Lyra goes completely bug eyed at.
I bet she’s itching to research them, but sorry Harp Butt, I’m turning them all into dust, you think in resolve as you grip the staff harder.
But what you find truly disturbing is that next to the Skull King is who you can presume is Inky's brother given the Duel Disk he has on him. You spot the monster row on his deck which has 8 cards on it, though one of them appears to be shredded.
Hmm, does destroying the monster destroy the cards? You ponder since every monster in sight has a correlating card aside from the one you gave the American History X treatment.
However an even more disturbing factor hits you. Primer’s eyes are glossed over, and he seems like he's in some sort of trance. Like he isn't really there, or is being controlled by...something.
If I had to take a guess, I'd have to say a Card Spirit might be controlling him like in the show. At least I hope that's the case, cause I don't have any other ideas...
You then notice as one of the servants walks towards the king and seemingly whispers into where it’s ear would be. The Skull Servant King then looks to the entranced bat pony at the shredded card.
“Enemies...approaching…prepare…for…battle…” the thing says aloud in a gravely haunting voice which surprises you.
Holy crap, it can talk?!
You look to the startled mares and diamond dog and you quickly make a snap decision. You point from them to the captured ponies as you step out from the tunnel entrance making yourself known.
“What are you-“ Bon Bon starts but you shout over her so that only you are seen.
“NNNNYYYEEEEHHH!!!”
Every eye, living and undead look to you as you brandish the staff above your head like a Tusken Raider.
All the Skull Servants ready themselves for battle as the King looks down upon you from his throne.
“…Inferior…submit…or face…Eternal…Servitude…Bow…to…your…King…” he orders you and your eye twitches at his haunting tone of superiority.
millennium item's Comment
King?! He dares to think Skeletor is nothing but a lowly Skull Servant!? NO ONE IS THE BOSS OF SKELETOR BUT SKELETOR!!!
"NYEHHHHHH!" You angrily growl loudly as you point your Havoc Staff at the monster causing the ram’s head to glow brilliantly. Tina herself growls as she pops out and readies her spear next to you.
Still hidden, the others ready themselves for what’s about to happen, and you really hope they get the others out while you battle.
I've been looking to test the limits of my staff on someone, and it looks like you just volunteered kingy!
The Skull Servant King just stares absently at you before it stands.
The King forcefully throws his arm towards you, inciting a war cry from this minions as they charge. You steel yourself for the coming battle, with only one thought on your mind,
I've made up my mind, I'm smashing that duel disk to pieces! No on orders Skeletor around, unless they're his friends!
