• Published 13th Jul 2017
  • 4,127 Views, 460 Comments

I Have No Mouth, and I Must Squee ( A Comment Driven Story) - Down with Chrysalis



You, a brony, are sent to Equestria. The problem is, you're now a mute...good luck!

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Episode 0: Grand Theft Vocal Chords

There are some days where you honestly think some divine being above is actively trying to make your life suck as much as possible. Like whatever divine being it is looked at earth, picked at random the one human out of six billion, and said,

"You know what? I'm going to make your life as frustrating and stressful as possible."

The multiple times it started raining on days where no rain was supposed to happen just when you got a date to some outdoors area. The time you caught that one sickness everybody gets right before your family vacation resulting in you being left behind. The time your long term relationship broke up with you...with a voicemail...on Valentine’s Day...

Needless to say today has been one of those days. Well...at least now it has been.

The day started off relatively fine, you did your usual morning routine and spent the rest of the day playing video games. Because honestly, what better way to spend the longest day in summer then to spend it indoors with no sunlight playing violent video games?

To those who believed you should have gone outside and enjoyed the sunshine with friends and family, you scoff at them and wonder about their sanity.

Anyway, it was just a normal day...till suddenly you passed out for no reason right in the middle of a cutscene. You'd chalk it up to lack of sleep or boredom if it weren't, you know, day time and an awesome game.

When you come to, you find yourself staring at a decrepit ceiling with holes in it. As soon as you see this you quickly get up in a panic hoping that the roof was just a hallucination (you get those sometimes).

But sadly for you it looks like it wasn't as you find yourself in some decrepit hallway that for some reason looks vaguely familiar to you. But you push that feeling of familiarity in exchange for panicking over your new found location, and your lack of clothing aside from your underwear (Your usual gaming attire). And what better way to panic then by shouting your lungs out?

"!!!!!!....????"

Instead of your usual girly shouts (which even though you’re a dude you admit your screaming is unprecedentedly high pitched) all that comes out of your mouth is...well, practically nothing. A ghost of a scream, condensed into a shallow, airy almost grunt.

What the hell? You try to exclaim in confusion, only for your eyes to widen even more in shock as absolute nothing comes out your mouth, despite you lip movements.

What? Hey! Hello! HELLO!!! You try to speak, but you can’t.

Your eyes widen in fear as you grip your throat in panic as you think,

My voice! What the hell happened to my voice?! Why can't I talk!? Where the hell am I!? JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!?!

Even though you can’t scream you still panic by waving your arms widely and running around in circles like a headless chicken. Eventually you run out of energy and slow down to a stop. As you hunch over gasping for air you try to calm yourself down and assess the situation.

Okay, so clearly I’ve been kidnapped and brought to some sort of…ancient castle or something, and not only has this kidnapper stolen my voice but my clothes as well…or was I not wearing them in the first place? I hope it was the latter,

You shiver at that mental image of the former as you look around for said kidnapper, but the darkness doesn’t give up any clues.

I’m fine, I’m fine… I’m almost naked and I can no longer talk, but that's fine, everything is okay. You reassure yourself with a gulp. I just...need to find my way out of here. Then find civilization...and then a God damn police station! Yes officer, I’d like to report a kidnapping, and theft of my vocal chords. How the heck did they even manage that? Maybe this is a delayed reaction to when I took that dare to eat that Carolina Reaper whole. I swear to God, if that’s what happened I’ll...

After that thought, and swearing vengeance against all Ghost Chilies, you take a few deep breaths and begin to explore...wherever the hell you are as you mind your bare footing in the darkness.

A FEW MINUTES LATER

How long was I passed out? It’s already night time and there’s no forests near my house! And there sure as hell isn’t ancient castles!

Okay this ancient castle, which you have proven was in-fact where you were after taking a peek out a window, makes absolutely no sense, and yet it is giving you a major case of déjà vu.

Backing away from the window, you continue into the stone structure, and each step you take, you get more and more creeped out. Everywhere you look it's either spider webs, destroyed paintings, ruined vases, and you swear you’re being watched by something.

I swear if some Scooby Doo villain starts chasing me...

The strangest thing is, from what you can tell from the mostly destroyed art and statues, is that most of them depict an equine of some kind.

Huh. Well if I’m somehow in a castle straight out of merry old England, then maybe there used to be Knights on these horses. Though why did they crumble and not their noble steeds? You contemplate as you look at even more artifacts, each one containing a horse of some kind.

Or maybe the owner of this place just really liked horses. And why do they have wings and horns? I thought Alicorns were made up by My Little Pony…unless these were the basis for them. Huh, guess that makes Medieval Knights the original Bronies.

Ah yes, My Little Pony. You were always a big fan of cartoons since you were a kid. Even now in your late teens you enjoy toons more than cheesy dramas or sports. That doesn't mean you didn't watch awesome shows like The Flash or Psych, but you honestly just preferred cartoons over real life shows.

Now being more likely to watch a cartoon, and being a fan of MLP, didn't really help you much in the popular crowd, but you figured it was their loss. If those snobby kids didn't want to be your friend cause you watched a show about rainbow ponies and friendship then who needs them?!

Actually...now that I think about it…You mutter as a ridiculous thought comes to your head. Ah who am I kidding? This isn’t the castle from the first episode, that’s impossible. Besides, this is all real, not a cartoon. More than likely this kidnapper is a sick weirdo that likes the show and who wants to skin me alive…I think I’d prefer impossible…

Gulping in fear, you cautiously resume your journey, keeping your eyes peeled for possible serial killers when you come across a fallen banner.

What the? What language is that? Are those even words? You think as you look over the strange looking scribbles stitched into the old cloth. You are about to pick the banner up and wrap it around your practically naked self when suddenly.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!” a dark evil laugh echoes across the entire castle causing your hair to stand up on in.

OH SCREW THIS!!! You wordlessly shout as you decide to forgo the cautious route in favor of the, ‘Get The Hell Out Now’ Route. Your feet hate you for it as you step on all the loose rubble, but you’ll apologize to them later.

Oh God, Oh God, Oh God! I’m in a freaking horror movie! I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die! You panic as you rush down a hallway and slam into a very large intimidating door, and enter into an open moonlit room lined with mirrors.

Your panicked run comes to halt however as, despite your dread, you become mesmerized by what’s in the center of the room.

No...no way!

Before you is an ornate pedestal, and upon it sits five, very familiar stone spheres.

You feel yourself drawn to the spheres as you slowly walk over to the pedestal. When you finally reach it you automatically grab one of them off their resting place. You breathe out at the heavy weight, but you manage to hold it with a decent grip. You can't help but stare at the faded jewel in the sphere as it finally hits you of where you are.

This...these...the Elements of Harmony!? Bu...but that means either this kidnapper is an extreme psychopathic fanboy or…

*GASP*

You suddenly get the strangest feeling that you shouldn't be holding this Element of Harmony anymore as you hear six female voices gasp in unison.

Nervously, you turn around and your jaw drops.

How…What?...

The six cartoon horses whom you've watched on your TV for so long stand in front of the other door to this room, and their mouths are just as slack in confusion as yours is.

I’m just seeing things again. I can’t be in a cartoon…I can’t!

Your grip loosens and the Element Orb falls from your grip as it bounces down the pedestal steps and onto the stone ground where it shatters.

CRAP! You mentally shriek as the 6 Equines all shout in anguish, shock and loss at the broken orb.

I…but…You mentally ramble at what’s just happened.

"What Have You Done?!" comes the pissed off voice of Tara Strong.

Reluctantly you look up at the Equines who look all too real with the looks they’re giving you.

You’re pretty sure Twilight is trying to melt you with her glare, Rarity is on the verge of fainting, Rainbow Dash is gritting her teeth so hard they might crack, Fluttershy shudders behind her Pegasus friend, Applejack looks completely flabbergasted, and Pinkie is giving you a look that just screams “Why Would You Do That?”.

It was an accident! I swear! I…Oh…you stop trying to speak as no sound escapes.

Oh this isn’t good…

However neither you or the soon to be Elements (Or Maybe Not) make any move. You both just stare at each other...and stare...and stare...and stare...

...

...

...

You have a distinct feeling that this will happen often

You have just broken one of the Elements of Harmony, The Mane 6 are glaring at you, you’re in a dark spooky castle, you’re mute, and you’re in your underwear.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Author's Note:

Hello everybody! DWC is back in action with a brand new Comment Driven Story!

God it's been forever since I've written one of these, but lately I've been feeling the need to write one. After debating with myself and speaking with my long time editor and friend Brown Dog, I have decided to make this story for you, the commenters.

Anything you want to happen? Just leave a comment with your suggestion or a full blown scene below and I guarantee it will be used someway, somehow, in the next chapter, so long as it follows the teen rating and makes sense.

Now the next chapter itself will be published within five days, or at the very least when I get enough comments to make a chapter with! I hoped this would be a good enough amount of time to get comments and write!

Now I know my record of keeping fics going on this site is meh, but I promise you all this story will be continuously updated to the best of my abilities!

With all that said and done, I leave you with one final question:

What should you do?

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