As you stare into the Nightmare Queen's eyes you can't help but gulp in fear as you think...
Knowing that Nightmare Moon is... Nightmare Moon, and not Princess Luna, you run. But, you've already run quite a bit, and have glass all over you, so you don't run very fast, allowing Nightmare to catch you with a spell.
Considering this is Nightmare Moon and not everybody's true favorite princess, there is only one thing I can do to avoid death, dismemberment, or any other painful situation befalling on my very vulnerable body...
You start to very slowly side step away from the crazy princess, making sure to keep eye contact with her at all times. As soon as you are away from the mirror and can no longer see her eyes you do the most logical thing...
You book it towards the door while 'shouting,'
YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE NIGHTMARE!
You wish you could have gone in the other direction, but considering Nightmare was right behind you, you didn't have much of a choice. Hopefully if you were lucky she'd leave you alone and wouldn't chase after you.
As you burst through the door to the hallway and shut it behind you, you can't help but let out a sigh of relief.
Phew....I thought for a second there I would have to deal with that crazy prin-
*FLASH*
...cess oh come on!
Standing before you know via teleport is the queen of the night in all her armored glory. She stares down at you intently as she says,
"Where art thou manners? To run from your princess is...rude."
As she glares at you, your life flashes before your eyes. While the Mane 6 were about the size of dogs, she is at your chest level, and that horn is at the perfect height to go into your eye. You press yourself into the door in fear, once again enacting pain via the glass in your skin.
“Now strange creature, introduce thy self to me, for I have seen thy actions above and they…interest me…”
Sweating nervously at her “interest” in your actions, you decide to let her know about your condition right off the bat to avoid any more misunderstandings.
Indicate your throat, attempt to speak. (ham it up for effect at need) Adopt a pleading expression, hope Nightmare will take pity on you, and not delight in your suffering.
You adopt a sad/scared face, which seems to please her, as you start moving your mouth.
I can’t speak. My voice is gone!
For emphasis, you slap your throat while ‘saying’ this, then shrug your shoulders and shake your head.
After lifting an eyebrow, Nightmare Moon suddenly comes to the realization of what you’re saying.
“Ah, thou has no voice to call thy own?”
Nodding furiously, you adopt a smile and point at her to let her know she’s right on the money.
Yes! Thank You! Finally someone notices!
With this realization, she frowns.
“Mute…well that complicates things…” she trails off in thought.
No. No it doesn’t complicate things! You think nervously. You don’t want to know what she’ll do to someone who’s complicating things. But thankfully a lightbulb chimes above your head.
Greatness942'a Comment
Before Nightmare Moon can do anything unsightly, you suddenly come up with a plan. You quickly push back your fear in favor of enacting your plan as you get off the door and stare down the crazed princess.
Nightmare Moon looks slightly surprised at this, but before she does anything you hold your hands out in front of you and point at her horn. Before she can ask what you're doing, you point to your own temple and do that back and forth a few times.
Surprisingly, she gets it.
“Thou wishes me to delve into thy mind for communication?”
You nod furiously once more.
Smirking she says,
“Very well then creature. Thou shall have the privilege of the true ruler of Equestria viewing thy personal thoughts.”
Her horn glows, and a magic aura surrounds your head.
Alright, Awesome! Can you hear me? If you can, I just want to say that I don’t know how I came here, and that I didn’t mean to break anything. I’ll just walk away if you’ll let me. You think these words loud and clear, putting emphasis into them so that there’s no way she can’t hear them.
The reaction upon her face though confuses you.
“Wh…wha…? I…I don’t even…?” she sputters in confusion, giving you a really, really disturbed and flabbergasted look.
Because while you are concentrating on these words, all she sees is
Got to keep up that skeletor or complex
This:
The force in your mind cuts out, and when you look at the princess she is naturally very confused, as are you.
What? What is it? You mouth and motion with your hands.
"I saw...something with a boney face dancing to a strange tune and screaming ‘Nyeh!’”
Huh?
“That spell is supposed to read one’s inner most thoughts and desires…is…is that your true self?” she asks in confusion.
You concentrate on what she’s said, and the image she saw pops into your head.
…Damn My Obsession! You groan. You then think to deny your true self being a cheesy 80’s cartoon villain…but… you really do think about denying it but...
Ehh, you mouth as you give a maybe hand wave. Hey, if you’re gonna have a true self Persona style, it might as well be him, and it’s not like you can communicate very well if she can’t read your mind.
"Rrrriiiigggghhhhttt..." Nightmare Moon trails off raising an eyebrow.
Well this isn't awkward at all....wow I made an evil crazed princess feel awkward. That's off the bucket list at least.
Yeah...you have a strange bucket list. It’s filled to the brim with weird things that you could never possibly hope to do, but you needed to write down something.
And maybe’s it’s for the best that she can’t actually read your mind.
For one you did not want the bad guy to have access to any human weapons that she could recreate with magic. You do not want to be responsible for Equestria's first magical nuke.
But more damning would be if she found your memories of the show...or worse the fandom! Nightmare Moon is already insane enough, if she were to find out her entire life was planned out from day one by a bunch of humans and that she was supposed to lose...well you really don't wanna deal with that existential crisis.
Anyway, noticing that Nightmare is still just staring at you awkwardly you decide to...
Pledge yourself to the Moon! Either the world will right itself and you have influence with a purified Luna, or shit goes whack and you have a chance serve as a Blade of the Darkmoon in a kingdom of eternal night. Might as well, shit already looks bad!
Kneel before Nightmare Moon. Make it clear you mean no harm. Pray to Murphy, 'cause you're gonna need the help.
ROLL FOR CHARISMA!
Kneel before Zo-Nightmare Moon in a show of allegiance. You figured you might as well go all out and turn up the charisma, and what better way than by performing some form of respect before your new overlord? In this case you kneel like a knight, through it hurts like hell considering all the glass still in your body.
I mean worst case scenario I help make sure Nightmare doesn't go full blown evil tyrant somehow as a Blade of the Darkmoon in a kingdom of eternal night. Best case scenario I have Luna as back-up when she gets turned good again...hopefully, you theorize as you strain to keep a straight face from the pain.
Oblivious to your thoughts Nightmare Moon grins evilly.
"A show of loyalty! Well aren't thou a true solider,” she coos, giving you goosebumps. “Though I suspected as much after witnessing the destruction of two of the Elements of Harmony, but now I’m convinced. I may not know thy origins or mind, but thou art truly a Soldier of the Night. Thanks to your arrival, our victory is achieved!” She then cackles maniacally and you let out a sigh of relief that she wants you to aid her in her take over the world plan instead of killing you.
“Now rise my mysterious soldier. Rise so that I may know thee better!"
As you start to stand back up, you wince in pain as the glass shifts, something Nightmare Moon takes notice of.
"Thou art wincing, show us what is causing our loyal subject pain at once!"
Loyal subject? You are far too trusting lady. You'd think being trapped on the moon for a thousand years by your sister would lead to trust issues, but I guess not.
Nodding you...
BrownDog's Comment
Show off the glass sticking out from your body, and the blood flowing from the wounds, she lights up her horn and she and you see it even more clearly.
That's...that's a lot of blood! How the hell haven't I passed out yet?!
"Hmmm...tis astonishing, with so much blood lost yet thou remains conscious. But that just proves your potential as a soldier to endure so long. Do not worry loyal subject, we shall remove these shards from your body post-haste!"
You roll your eyes at this as you think,
Again with the loyal subject stuff. Lady you just met m-OH SWEET JESUS PAIN! SO MUCH PAIN!
Almighty Alicorn that she is, Nightmare is still a villain it seems as she follows the Band-Aid line of logic of 'pull it out quick with no mercy.' Except in this case its glass shards and not a Band-Aid, and it’s all over your body, so the pain was about ten times as...well painful.
Along with the pain comes the rushing of blood, but before you can even panic you hear the ripping of cloth and the next thing you know your wounds are wrapped via tore bed sheets as bandages. As they wrap around you, you notice the midnight colored aura surrounding them and look at Nightmare in confusion.
The queen of the night simply scoffs at your look as she says,
"We shall not let our solider die from simple glass cuts nor blood loss. Be thankful your queen is so merciful as to help treat thy wounds."
You decide to just take her word for it as you notice the pile of bloody shards on the ground. There were a lot more than you realized stuck in your body.
How was I even moving? Pure adrenaline I guess, but that’s still a lot!
After a few more moments it appears Nightmare is done dressing your wounds. Looking over them you notice how almost your entire upper body is wrapped, and so are most of your arms up to your hands, and your legs down to your calves. Looking over your now dressed wounds, you give her a thankful bow to which she chuckles darkly at.
“Yes. Give thanks to thy beloved ruler. Now that your wounds have been dressed, we must find something for thou to wear as a symbol of your loyalty to us. Surely there must be some of our old attire around this decrepit place that should work despite your strange shape."
With that said Nightmare begins to look around the room in search of something for you to wear. As she does your eyes travel back to the pile of glass shards reflecting in her magic’s light. Some are as small as pebbles, and yet some are a few inches in length, and boy are you glad you didn’t land on those when you hit that bed. You look back and forth between the queen of the night and the shards before you finally sigh and think,
Oh screw it!
With that you…
If all else fails shiv her with the mirror-glass, preferably whilst she's not looking, and leg it like the terrifying mother of all things dark and evil was chasing you.
Quickly grab a sharp shard and hide it behind your back. You nervously look towards Nightmare in fear that she saw you, but it appears she is still looking for that 'symbol of loyalty' for you.
Phew....close one, you sigh in relief. As much as I don't wanna shank everyone's favorite princess, you can never be too careful. At least if she tries anything I can cut and run for it.
Unlikely as it is, but hey you never know.
With this plan of action in place, you hear her say,
“Aha! Perfect.” She then comes back towards you…
BrownDog's Comment
Holding up in her magic an old banner with the moon on it. One moon at the top and one at the bottom. It isn't as big as the other banners you saw in the hallways, if you’re being honest it looks more like a large flag. Before you can think too much on the difference between flags and banners, there is a sudden flash of light and the next thing you know you are wearing the banner poncho style.
Looking over yourself you see that the moon is both on your front and back, so it looks like she did some magic to make a hole right in the center of it for your head.
You hear the former mare in the moon chuckle darkly as she says,
"Perfect! With this banner all will know your sworn allegiance to the true ruler of Equestria! NIGHTMARE MOON!"
Dang that was loud! You wince, rubbing your ears. Hopefully the Mane 6 didn't hear tha-
*Gasp*
Your eyes widen as you and Nightmare look down the hall to see Rainbow staring at you both in shock. Before you can even do anything she lets out a screech and starts to fly back to the other room and up the hole. You stand there for a few seconds before face-palming.
I just had to think that didn't I?! Now they'll think I'm evil for sure!
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
Nightmare Moon turns her attention back to you. "Yes, quite frustrating those mares have become. All night they’ve been relentless,” she mistakes your frustration. “Come, If you are to serve me properly, you need a weapon to assist you in your duties."
You motion back to where Rainbow fled, giving a questioning look.
"Those mares?" she scoffs, "While they are a threat, it is not an immediate one any more, thanks to your actions. Still, they are a nuisance, so let us get you equipped." There's a bright flash and you feel incredibly disoriented for several seconds.
As your eyes adjust from being blinded you look around to see that you are now in a completely different room. Your eyes widen as you see a variety of weapons from swords, to axes, spears, and everything in between.
There are enough weapons here for an entire army! You gasp in admiration as you set the shard of glass down, knowing that there are upgrades incoming. As you admire at the plethora of weapons, you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn to see Nightmare Moon looking at you.
"Here," she says, "This should suffice for now." She levitates a scepter with a ram's head on top of it over to you. You carefully take it from her, a cold shiver goes through your body as you interact with her magic.
You look at the scepter in your hands, trying to keep yourself from cackling manically, and failing.
She just gave me the Havoc Staff! No freaking way! I really am Skeletor! And all those therapists said I was delusional! Who’s delusional now?! NYEH!!! You rant as you hold the staff and tears come to your eyes.
Nightmare smiles darkly at this before she says,
"I thought this might suit you after viewing your inner self images. This mighty staff once belong to the dark wizard Grogar who tormented Equestria long ago. But we and our...sister destroyed the miserable creature and banished him to Tartarus. Now thou shall use it to lead our armies to glory!"
Completely ignoring the whole 'lead armies to glory' part you focus more on the fact that this isn't the Havoc Staff. It’s similar looking sure, but…
Awwww....Man this sucks. I thought I'd achieved nirvana! I thought my dreams had finally been realized! You lament, before determination comes to your eyes. Screw it, from now on, this IS the Havoc Staff, Copyrights be damned! It’s a much cooler name than Grogar’s Staff ...Wait a minute that goat guy from Gen 1 was canon?!
Your ramblings go unnoticed as Nightmare Moon continues to speak.
"Thou should be able to utilize basic magic with this," she instructs. "Levitation, magic bolts of varying nature, and a shield. It will respond to your will as to which thou wants to use. Tis a shame thou cannot speak, otherwise thou could use this to it's utmost ability. Go ahead and try it."
You nod excitedly at the chance to use actual magic as you turn and point the staff at a wall…and there you freeze.
Crap! You start freaking out. I have no idea how to use magic!
You take a deep breath. Okay, stay calm. She said it responds to my will, so I just need to will it. You narrow your eyes at the target. You shall not be defeated by this enemy! You shall defeat He-Man!
*ZAP*
Nightmare Moon cackles at the now three foot hole in the wall you have caused.
"While I am impressed at your skill, please restrain yourself. I plan on living here, and I don't want these mares killed just yet."
You just stare at the hole in awe as you raise your staff in the air and start pumping it like a Tusken Raider.
YYYEEESSS!!! I just used Magic! Suck It Harry Potter! You ain’t got s#!t on me! This is the greatest day of my-Wait! What did she just say?!
Her words finally hit you and you look over to her in shock, to which she just chuckles darkly.
"While thou is a loyal solider, it shall be I who ends the lives of those pitiful mares. My sister’s pitiful student and her friends will be executed before the country, and this will once and for all prove that THE NIGHT SHALL NEVER GIVE WAY TO THE SUN AGAIN! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
You just stare at the crazy pony in fear as lightning crashes somewhere.
What the hell? She wants to kill them?! What happened to the show’s PG rating?! I...I can't let her kill them!
Before you can act on your thoughts, her face suddenly contorts to one of horror as she yells,
"What!?! No! No! NOOOOO! Even while broken, she gathers them together!”
She then teleports right of the room, leaving you alone in the room with your staff in hand.
Oh yeah, that’s great, just leave me alone in the dark why don’tcha? Freaking kill crazy Luna…Wait, does that mean Twilight’s still trying to activate the Elements even though I broke them? I guess it could work since they got broken by Nightmare Moon in the show…Aw crap.
You realize where she’s headed, so you use the newly installed hole in the wall which seems to be more of a punched out hole rather than an outright destroyed one as you gingerly step through the displaced bricks with your bare feet.
So I didn’t so much as kaboom it as I punched it with my mind…Still, AWESOME!* You smile before you get your head back on track to finding the Mane 6.
Alright, it was somewhere upstairs. AJ, Pinkie and the rest came up some stairs when Twilight got her epiphany!
After a few minutes of frantically busting down doors, running up stairs, and running down hallways (which irritates your wounds) you round a corner and come face to face 5 ponies that shriek,
“EEEP!” at the same time, startling you into falling on your butt.
After their initial shock, Applejack grits her teeth and shouts,
“Where’s Twilight?! What did you do with her?!”
You stumble back up from that shout and the ponies get a better look at you.
“See! I told you it was working with Nightmare Moon!” Rainbow Dash calls out.
"Oof, such an old and raggedy poncho," Rarity chastises, causing you to grimmace.
Oi! It's not like I have many choices!
You look causes all of the mares to glare at you in disgust and anger, even Pinkie and Fluttershy. This causes you to get even more upset.
Oh come on! You can’t waste time on me! You gotta get upstairs and inspire Twilight before this show changes dramatically! Now Get Upstairs!
*ZAP*
A blast of magic flies from your staff and hits the ceiling you were gesturing towards and some dust and pebbles fall on your head.
There is a tense awkward silence as they look at you in shock and trepidation at your display of power.
Ah hell…
WHAT DO YOU DO?
You get dogpiled by the ponies who all start demanding where Twilight is.
"Say it! SAY IT!!!" Rainbow orders causing you to struggle in frustration.
I would if I could skittles! Nyeh!
You keep pointing up towards the ceiling, but they still think you're an enemy and won't leave you unattended.
Finally in frustration, you use the Havoc Staff to push them off of you, and it does so giving you enough room to scramble.
Swinging wildly with the staff, you accidentally hit Pinkie in the head causing her to get knocked out.
Oh Crap! No, No, No, NO!
You suck in a lot of breath in and put your hands over your mouth horror at what you've just done as Fluttershy yells, yes, actually YELLS,
"PINKIE PIE!!!"
Feeling guilty and knowing that you need all of them somewhere up some stairs to help Twilight, you grab Pinkie's unconscious form, tuck her under your arm and run for dear life up the nearest stairwell.
"Put Her Down!" Applejack calls out after you.
Eventually, you do hear Nightmare Moon cackling, but the ponies catch up to you just as you enter the room and start kicking the crap out of you. Hearing her friends voices, Twilight still gets inspired and then the Elements Happen
As you stare at the five mares, you decide to do the first thing that come to mind.
You wave the staff menacingly and sneer at them, See He-Man? You cannot hope to match against my power! Nyeh!
Fortunately, your intimidation tactic worked flawlessly. The five ponies scream and run the opposite direction.
Crap. Not what I wanted. you think, Why must I be cursed with this Skeleton complex? You raise the Havoc Staff at them, Stop!
A translucent blue wall appears in front of them, and they all smash into it. The ponies fall to the ground, stunned from the impact.
Still not what I wanted. You mentally groan. Okay, I can still fix this, just need to get them to the room with the Elements. You will the ponies to be lifted up and a blue aura surrounds each of them as they start floating. Odd, I thought that my magic would have a more menacing color. Keeping the ponies in front of you, you start walking down the hallway when you realize something incredibly important.
You are hopelessly and irrevocably lost.
Goshdang it Nightmare! You think, Couldn't you have given me a map or something before ditching me?
"MUAHAHAHAHA!" Nightmare's laughter echoes throughout the castle as if in response to your thoughts.
That works too. You speed up, the ponies levitating in front.
In the back of your mind your inner Skeletor yells to you about being Destroying He-man you know deep down he might be right why should you possibly help these ponys they did attack you first
How could they, they tried to kill you, you also found out the PG rating seamed null and void .
Throw a couple sparks at the ponies. Just enough to catch their attention. After your attack "fails", book it up the stairs towards Twilight and Nightmare. If possible, arrive quickly, hide in the shadows. Depending on events, either stay hidden until Nightmare is defeated, or strike and catch her unawares. Pray to Murphy that Twilight understands that your actions were a setup to stop or incapacitate Nightmare Moon, and bank on the fact that Friendship IS Magic.
You figure that hey, all you simply have to do is just lead them to twilight simply by just "cowering" and having them chase you. Hopefully it will lead to them somewhere. The castle cant be that big, right?
One eternity later.
Alright, this has got to be the right way. I can feel it
Its not. In fact it happens to be the very room you started in.
Oh come on!!!
Alright, alright, alright... Whats the best outcome here.
On the one hand you could serve your dark mistress and prove your worth to her.
On the other hand, you could try to mime to the ponies about how your loyalties are flimsy at best.
But let's not kid ourselves, the miming didn't work earlier and it sure as HELL isn't gonna work with us sporting Nightmare Moons colors and waving a menacing skull staff around. Come on Skeletor, you're all in whether you like it or not! I'm sure you can somehow convince the dark queen to spare these cretins once the dust settles!
As you come up with the plan to lead them to twilight by 'cowering', the Benny Hill's theme comes one.
You finally get up the stairs to the room with Nightmare and Twi buuuuut there's one little problem... "how do I shake them of and let events unfold!? you think panting. All that running and dodging all while carrying Pinkie's unconscious form ( she needs to cut down on the sweets, even though it makes her soft and cuddly ('Squee')) , was far out of your gamer/couch potato comfort zone.
"YOU!"
Turning to see the owner of the voice you see, a absolutely peeved Twilight Sparkle.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO PINKIE PIE!?" She calls with rage.
"Ah, oh yeah." you think sweating in fear at her now glowing horn.
Before any spell of hers can be cast, you are surrounded in a dark blue aura and instantly you are at Nightmare's side as she laughed like a mad tyrant.
"Well done my subject!" She yells in delighte looking at the pink tubby pony in your arms like a wolf would look at a helpless lamb.
"You have captured one of these pests in a matter of minutes, you made my plan all the more easy."
"that don't look good..." you think bringing Pinkie defensively closer to your body.
Pinkie stirs at the movement.
"Don't lay a hoof on her!" Twilight calls out.
"And what if I do~?"Nightmare Moon asks "pry tell." pulling Pinkie from your grasp, shaking her like a bully would shake stolen candy in front of a baby.
"Not cool Lulu... Not cool. you think angrily and worried for what she may do to her. 'please don't tell me she'll kill her like Frieza did Krillin!'
"C'M H'ER YA VERMIT!"
Suddenly the mane 4 come charging in through the stair way into the room.
"Oh, hey Twilight..."AJ says quickly solely focused on you.
"OH! Twilight!!"AJ says now fully aware of her now.
"And the rest of them too?!" Nightmare Moon says raising a brow looking at you "someone deserves a promotion!"
"Some-pony got the number of that goat?" Pinkie says like a drunk. "He seemed quite handsome, heh,heh~"
"GIVE US BACK PINKIE PIE!!" Rainbow Dash calls out.
"As you wish" Nightmare Moon giggles sadistically "CATCH FILLIE-FOOLER"
She lunches Pinkie at break nek speed at rainbow.
"WHAT THE BUCK DID YOU CALL M- OH CRAP!!"
"BONK"
Whilst Nightmare is preoccupied with her game of 'catch the baker' shank her in the shoulders, it'll be hard for her to see you coming from that angle and impossible to remove without help or magic, snap it in half to make things harder and hope that the mane 6 take advantage of the opening and don't just stare at your apparant case of Chronic Backstabbing Disorder or you may be a fine red paste very soon.
8308173
When she tries to take Pinkie out of your grip, you hold on firmly.
"What are you doing?" asks Nightmare as she tugs on Pinkie but you yank her back.
"You can let go now," she insists as tries to tug her again, and you tug back and shake your head.
NO! Mine!
"Give her to me!"
Screw you! This is MY Pink Pony now, you're not going to hurt her! Nyeh!
Pinkie is then in the middle of a game of tug of war between you and Nightmare Moon, squeaking the whole time while the other five look on in confusion.
"Let Go This Instant Soldier!" she growls as she sends out a wave of magic which knocks you on your back and loosens your grip on Pinkie.
"Learn your place. There will be plenty of mares for you to claim later. This one must be made an example of!"
Don't say it like that! you shout as the other mares give you disgusted looks and you shake your head no.
When she throws Pinkie, you've had enough. You are taller than this evil goddess, so you use this to your advantage and wrap her in a bear hug, with the staff holding her front legs up.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" she flails in your arms.
Keeping you from destroying He-M- PONIES, keeping you from destroying ponies. Prince Adam comes later...and wow you're so soft and fluffy. You can't help but nuzzle against her as she flails around.
8308771
As you struggle with Nightmare, you give Twilight a look trying to convey your meaning with your eyes. Here's your chance!
By the grace of some unknown God, she manages to understand you. Her horn glows brightly as she aim it at you. "This is for hurting Pinkie Pie!"
Your eyes widen as you realize that you're in the line of fire.Wait I meant use the Elements!
ZAP!
You're not sure what happened next, but somehow you end up face down on the ground. Your back feels like it's burning, and breathing is hard to come by. You hear a pony walk next to you.
"You are a fool." You hear Nightmare whisper in your ear, "If you had just obeyed me the first time, you would have been unharmed. However, since you protected me, I shall consider this your punishment for disobedience." You feel a nuzzle against your cheek. "I shall heal you when I am finished with these mares."
As you hear her walk away, you can't help but think, Twilight you boob!
8309129
In the back of your mind you know this is all beast mans fault some how it always is . Thanking what did getting blasted by the elements even Do to you besides make you feel like ya got run over by a garage truck?
Right as the Mane 5 are about to take you down with their various skills, you realize that you have the skills of one universal language: Beatboxing!
Suddenly, you drop some sick beats while doing funky dance moves. While four of them still think you're casting a spell (though they are slightly confused about the beatboxing), Pinkie Pie is bobbing her head along to the beat with a smile on her face. After finishing your sick track, the ponies look at you with the equivalent face of a squirrel if their acorns started floating and jazz music started coming out: sheer, unadulterated confusion. "Now's my chance to escape these ponies and KILL HE-MAN-I mean, save canon. NYEH!", you think to yourself, as you use the Joestar Family Technique...which is running for your life.
Throw the staff with a 'Nyah'