You’re pretty sure that you stopped breathing for a good couple of minutes, because your chest feels heavy. Of course this could also be due to the fact that an Ursa Minor is gonna come to town and most likely kill you in some way or another.
"Um...Mister Skeletor sir, are you alright?"
Suddenly remembering who you’re with you look over to Fluttershy in shock. She has a genuine worried look on her face, and before you can do anything you hear Foxtrot scoff as she says,
"I'm sure the creature is just fine Ms. Shy, it's probably just doing some weird ape thing again."
"I don't know Fox, he looks kinda freaked out," O’Carrol counters.
Kinda?! KINDA?! I wish I was just kinda freaked out! I gotta tell Twilight before it’s too late! With me here the timeline might change and we’ll get a Ursa Major coming to town! A FREAKING GODZILLA BEAR!!!
With that thought you...
AchaiusSade
Start to convulse, this time in a completely random and crazed way to convey just how bad the situation will be.
"Oh my, is he having another vision!?" Fluttershy gasps. Foxtrot merely rolls her eyes at this.
"Oh not this again." Her partner is the exact opposite, as he and Fluttershy stare at you in wonder and...fear?
Okay I know why I'm freaked out, but why are you? I haven't even given the vision yet! Speaking of which...
Before your escorts or Fluttershy can blink you rush off to Twilight, who had stopped to stare at where Snips and Snails dragged Spike off. You make sure to make it look like your legs are being forced to move by some external force, hamming it up the Jim Carey way.
Foxtrot's eyes widen at your fleeing figure as she calls out,
"Wha-!? Get back here!"
"Oh dear, please wait up Mister Skeletor! I mean if you can please..." You ignore Foxtrot and Fluttershy's calls as you reach Twilight. Your presence manages to snap her out of her shocked state as she looks at you in surprise.
"Skeletor!? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be with Flu-"
You don't let her finish as you quickly begin to convulse your arms and throw yourself to the ground. Twilight lets out a gasp in shock, but you ignore it as you begin to draw in the dirt with your hands.
Best way to convey a urgent message is to do so in a drastic measure after all, and what is more drastic then writing in the dirt with my bare hands and not using my notepad? Gah!, you wince as your knuckle scrapes a rock. Vision now, patting back on well thought out plan later!
Your escorts and Fluttershy catch up to you as you are almost finished with your drawing. Twilight directs her attention towards Fluttershy.
"Fluttershy! Just what the heck has gotten into Skeletor!?" she asks. Fluttershy shrinks back slightly at Twilight’s tone before saying,
"Um...well he started convulsing like when he has a vision, and then he took off towards you. It kinda looked like he was being forced to..."
Twilight gains a confused look at that and opens her mouth to say something, but before she can you jump up and away from your drawing. You’re breathing a little heavily from the sudden rushing you did, but despite that you think you did a good enough job with your drawing.
The four ponies gather around the drawing to get a good look at it. What you drew was a rough shape of a bear with a constellation right in its center. You also drew a tiny house next to it to show just how big the Ursa can be.
Not so bad for a quickly thought up plan with a panic induced mind. At least Twilight should get the message an-
Before you can finish your thought you see Twilight erase some of the constellation before redrawing it. She then looks up at you with the look you’ve dubbed 'Lecture Time.'
"Seriously Skeletor, if you wanted me to tell you what constellation this was you should have at least drawn it the right way. Now if you excuse me I need to find out where those two colts dragged off Spike. Oh, and the name of the constellation is Ursa Minor."
And with that the sole savior of the town in the next twenty-four hours walks away, leaving your dumbfounded self behind.
Wha-Did she just-the constellation-Ursa-WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!?
You grab your head in panic as the full realization of Twilight brushing your warning off sets in. You would have spiraled down into madness induced thoughts if it weren’t for hearing Foxtrot laughing her flank off.
Your eye twitches in annoyance as you glare at the laughing guard. Said guard just ignores you in favor of laughing at your misery...again.
That's it! You’re back on the list! I'll show you what happens when you laugh at Skeletor's misery!
Before thoughts of vengeance can cloud your mind though, O’Carrol speaks up.
"Uh Fo-Ma’am? Shouldn't we be a little worried about this? I mean his convulsing was pretty serious, maybe Ms. Sparkle jumped the bow?" Foxtrot wipes a tear away from her eye and answers,
"Are you kidding? You heard her. This was just the ape trying to ask a question. That whole twitching and writhing thing was just an excuse for it to run over here."
Laugh it up Fox! You grumble, your eye twitching even more. When the giant baby bear comes to wreck the town, then we'll see who's laughing! It will be I! Skeletor! Nyeh!
You sigh and try to calm down, but to your displeasure you can feel your panic only increase. You’ve changed two episodes already, so who knows what will really happen? You start to think of any possible way to warn the ponies of the incoming threat, and after not thinking of anything clever, you decide to just cut your losses as you take out your notepad and draw...
MagicLover2128's Comment
A make up timeline of events for this episode, leaving out any details that don't involve the deadly baby bear coming to town.
Trixie may be a bragger, but she isn't the one who brought the bear to town. No reason to put all the blame on her.
After you finish drawing the rushed timeline you proceed to get the three ponies’ attention and show it to them. Basically it shows the foals heading into the Everfree, and then being chased out with the big bear. Then you show a picture of Ponyville with sunshine and rainbows next to a Ponyville that's flattened into the ground and on fire. With Pinkie’s colored pencils, your drawings really stand out.
Their reaction is of confusion and then shock and finally horror at what may happen.
"Oh my..." You nod grimly at Fluttershy's comment.
‘Oh my’ indeed you adorable mare you. Foxtrot manages to snap out of it first, but instead of the look of realization you expected you only see anger.
What's with the look? You wonder in confusion. The bear’s the one who does all this not me! Your question is answered when Foxtrot says,
"Okay that's enough! I can let your fake psychic idiocy slide when it’s just some random prank, but I will not let you go spreading around panic with no proof!" she declares with a frown.
What!? I'm not trying to- Before you even finish that thought, your pictures are torn out of the notepad and are suddenly inflamed, and just as that happens, the dirt Ursa Minor is swiped away via Foxtrot's magic. You can only stare at her in shock at this turn of events
"You’re on a tight leash now, I don't want to see or hear anything about a giant bear attack for the rest of the day! If I so much as think you are thinking about it I will personally send you to the hospital with the worse migraine you can ever imagine! Am. I. Clear?!"
You gulp fearfully at her glaring face as you make a weak gesture that basically means 'But I' but her glare only sharpens. You simply whimper and nod your head weakly, too which Foxtrot seems satisfied with and begins to walk towards where Twilight went.
Now what in the seven layered shit sandwich was that all about? You sputter. I know she doesn’t believe me, but that seemed too direct and hostile. Am I missing something here?
You look over to her partner with your confused look and gesture to the trotting mare. He seems a bit uncomfortable.
“Look…don’t take it personally or anything. Fox she…well…She has this thing about giant monsters and-“
"O’Carrol! Creature! Hurry up!" You, Fluttershy and Foxtrot’s partner all jump at her tone and quickly get after her. You can hear some hushed talking between the two guards, but you don't bother to listen as a feeling of dejection comes over you.
BrownDog's Comment
Jaro45's Comment
You know what, this is fine. I mean it sucks that Twilight and Foxtrot dismissed my warnings, but that's okay. That is just perfectly fine, nothing wrong about it at all. Nope, not at all. This was all thought while your eye was twitching, so clearly it was not fine at all.
This was probably for the best anyway, I mean if I stopped the Ursa Minor from coming Twilight would never have learned the moral of the week, which would probably end up causing problems down the road anyway. The best thing I can do is kidna-I mean invite Pinkie, Spike and Fluttershy to stay in Pinkie’s party basement for the night. That or keep Fluttershy by my side at all times since baby animals love her so much and it will lessen the chances of death. Yeah...that'll work.
Taking a deep breath and finally calming down from your panicked state, you start to think on more important matters and try to avoid any thoughts involving Kaiju.
If anything, the best thing to do is to keep Trixie here after everything goes down. But how exactly would I do that?
You hold your chin in thought as you try and figure out some way to keep Trixie in town, or at the very least keep the non-Ursa Minor damages to a minimum.
denneylaw's Comment
Okay, I reformed Gilda so now I need to think of how to do the same for Trixie. Those two little idiots are gonna hear Trixie's story and have her face off against Big Blue, and then we’re all up the creek.
As you think that, you notice Trixie's stage coming up from the distance. Realizing that you don't have that much time left to think up a plan you save time and go for the cliff notes.
All right, I have 2 options here. Both involve trying to distract the pony versions of Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum. I could try to keep them from hearing Trixie's story, but considering the timeline wants the Ursa to come to town, that's out of the question. Maybe I could just interrupt her speech halfway through so they don't know what monster it is, and with any luck they'll just be creepy stalkers of hers. If that fails I'll just try and use my 'psychic' powers to warn Spike what they are about to do, and hopefully, he will have enough sense to warn Twilight. She'll listen to him more then she'll listen to me after all. Yep, that's what I'll do!
With that plan in mind you smile as you no longer have to worry about any major non-canon problems. But you can't help but feel like you’re forgetting something. Something important about this episode...
Eh, I'll worry about it later.
With that thought you, your escorts and Fluttershy finally reach the stage. As you do...
Kazuma Michishige's Comment
You hear the last bits of Trixie challenging the residents to see if they can outperform her.
Craaaaap, you moan, I'm too late to interrupt the Ursa Major fib. I need to try to stop this before it gets too far.
"What in Celestia is that?!" You hear Trixie call out in fright.
SHIT! The bear’s early! We’re all screwed! You panic and whip your head around in fear. Thankfully all you see is the crowd of ponies looking directly at you. Unfortunately the entire crowd of ponies is looking directly at you.
Something clicks in your panicked mind and you look back up to the stage at Trixie who is pointing directly at you. Just to be sure, you point your finger at your chest with a questioning look on your face.
“Yes Creature, you! What are you?”
Since you can’t really answer that, you look around at the crowd at the Mane 6 and Spike and gesture for them to answer. Before they can though,
"This is Skeletor,” Gilda’s tough voice rings out as she walks up next to you. “We don’t know what the heck he is since he can’t talk, but he’s cool.”
Thanks for the save Cat Bird, you think in glee as you instinctively start to reach out to scratch the top of her head, but she immediately slaps your hand away.
"I see…" Trixie gives you a quick once over, "Well then, Skeletor, if you are as cool as the griffon claims then The Great and Powerful Trixie will choose you to be her first challenger."
This declaration is accompanied by fireworks.
Ah. Now I remember why I don't like Trixie now, you roll your eyes. Her opening ego is way to annoyingly big. Still, I have to believe that I can fix her character early.
Seeing as you have no choice, you make your way up to the stage. Facing the crowd, you do the first thing that comes to mind.
Making some mysterious movements and gestures, you proceed to do the old detaching thumb trick.
Behold my magical pow-
"It can detach parts of its body?!" You hear one of the ponies scream. This causes the rest of the crowd to either faint, scream or look at you in awe.
Oh, I forgot that ponies can be really gullible.
But while the ponies are impressed, they aren't completely awe-struck. So deciding to rectify this you decide to do the most logical thing...
The most obvious solution is to have a beat boxing contest with Trixie to show off your skills and take her down a peg. Maybe, if you get lucky(Or unlucky) , Snips and Snails will follow you around instead of her.
You begin to beat box in a manner that suggests a challenge. Pinkie, and many of your lunch time donators all start to cheer. Trixie, wizens up to the challenge pretty quickly.
“Oh you want to dance? The Great and Powerful Trixie knows how to throw down a beat!” She then proceeds to do her own beat boxing in retaliation. Your eyes widen slightly at this.
So our little boaster knows the art of the beat box huh? Things just got interesting!
The two of you continue to go back and forth, each one trying to out-beat box the other. Eventually you both feel the climax coming as you both get into each other’s faces and do rapid fire beats. You start to pull forward by performing some sick dance moves that Trixie just can't compete with. Having hands is an advantage
The crowd goes wild, and as you finish you give Trixie a smug look as she seems completely baffled at what just happened. Try to top that you little show off. You lost, accept your beat boxing defeat with grace!
And yet to your supreme shock, her face fills with determination and smugness, as she spins around, throws down a smoke pellet and rushes toward you with her horn glowing.
Greatness942's Comment
In a fanatical display of stage magic, she simultaneously does the Quintessential Card Trick (is this your card?), juggles three magi-tech Chainsaws, and completes a crossword puzzle where she only needs help with one question.
And for some reason, you muse, it was 5-Across. "A crystal that can take the form of quite a few colors, but usually appears blue." Stupid sapphires...
The main thing that really got to you though, was the fact that she was beat boxing and dancing...the entire time.
As a finale, she threw the crossword into air with your card, as the chainsaw’s cut them, and after a small smoke explosion, they all disappeared into a storm of confetti that showered her as she hit her final beats.
Dang that mare has a set of lungs on her. Still, I guess she did beat me in performance, but next time it will be I, Skeletor, that wins! You cross your arms at that thought and resist the urge to comically sneer as you watch Trixie bow to the audience.
"Voila!" Trixie yells, "Mere child's play. Not even this hairless ape thing can top my awesome power!"
However, unlike the applause or cheering you usually get after beat boxing, Trixie's performance is met with silence. You look over at the crowd in confusion and see that most of them are either annoyed or even angered at Trixie. You can't help but raise a brow at that as you think,
The heck’s up with them? She may be a loud mouthed braggart but she out-performed me fair and square, no need to be all annoyed. Besides it’s common courtesy to at least have one person clap even for a bad performance.
Realizing that no one is going to clap or cheer anytime soon, and also noticing Trixie's stance falter slightly for a second, you decide to do something about the situation. You...
KingDouchePrick's Comment
Start to clap on your own for Trixie's rightful win.
Suddenly all eyes are on you as half the crowd is looking at you in confusion and shock. Trixie herself is just as, if not more, confused at your applause.
To their questioning stares you simply shrug your shoulders and bow your head in defeat.
She kicked my ass fair and square. A true follower of the beat boxing art knows when to accept defeat and give credit where it’s due.
Eventually you stop clapping and walk off the stage with your head held high and stand next to the Elements, Gilda, and your escorts. This manages to snap Trixie out of it as she smiles and says,
"Aha! See? Even the ape acknowledges his superiors, for there was never any doubt!”
Okay, stop being an insufferable bitch, I complimented you. Don’t make me slap you into reformation, you grimace and cross your arms.
“Now lookee here missy!” Applejack objects and steps up to the stage. “It ain’t right to go belittling someone who graciously lost."
“Oh please. Your Skeletor creature was just honored to be defeated by The Great and Powerful Trixie, as anypony should be.”
Whelp, let the humiliation show begin, you roll your eyes as you see Applejack scowl at that.
Just like in the show, Trixie manages to out play Applejack. As soon as she is tied up Rainbow rushes to the stage and is ultimately beaten as well. You would have chuckled at it if it weren't for the fact that you just remembered a very important thing...
BrownDog's Comment
Gilda is still in town, and she is right next to you about to blow her top at Rainbow's humiliation.
Not good! I already have to hide from an Ursa Minor, I do not need an angry griffon causing even more damage! Thinking quickly you give her a quick ear scratch which makes her stiffen up, before slapping your hand away and eyeing you with a frown.
“Stop that!” she whispers with clenched teeth.
You point at Trixie then back at Gilda and shake your finger and head no.
“Oh come on! She’s annoying and a jerk. Look what she did to you and Dash. She’s taking pleasure in humiliating everypony and…Oh…” a sudden look of realization comes across Gilda’s face.
Ya, sound familiar G? you smirk. She shakes her head at this.
“Well she’s still a jerk,” she huffs and crosses her forearms.
Aw, who’s a pouting kitty, you chuckle, before sobering up. Okay, so obviously Trixie is still going to be hated when all this happens. But maybe if I can just get her and Gilda to meet and become friends, maybe things will turn out differently. But that all won’t matter if that damned bear still shows up. And the hell if I know how to stop one without magic…wait a second...
You look all around you and see that the Elements, Spike, your escorts and Gilda are all focused intently on Trixie.
The Library is completely unguarded right now…And this IS a matter of life and death so…
You then stealthily tip toe backwards out of the crowd as they all boo and belittle Trixie. When you feel you are a safe distance, you sprint all out towards Golden Oaks.
Some Time Later
NNNYYYYEEEHHH!!!! You hold aloft your mighty Havoc Staff at the edge of the Everfree forest after having unhooked it from Twilight’s science equipment.
Don't worry you Technicolor horsy fools, your lord and master Skeletor will stop the Giant He-Man from arriving!
Truth be told, you really need to monologue to keep the nervousness at bay. You’ve just stolen back your staff, are without any escorts, and you are at the edge of a forest filled with all kinds of monsters. In fact, this is the closest you’ve been to the Everfree since the night you woke up in Equestria, but even then you had a whole castle separating you from it’s spookiness.
Seriously, I can smell the evil from here. How does Zecora live in there?
In the distance, you can hear Twilight and the others calling your name as they search for you in the town.
Well, chances are I’m going to be in big trouble after this…that is if the bear doesn’t eat me first. But they’ll thank me later. When the minor shows up I’ll scare it off with my magic…which I hardly know how to use…
…
…
…
WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING OUT HERE AGAIN?!
As you panic on your idiotic decision making, you notice…
Greatness942's Comment
Snips and Snails sneaking into the forest a little ways away from you.
Well there they go to bring about death and destruction. That means I still have time to make it to the Party Cave!
As you start to take steps back towards town, and no doubt a stern lecture you pause in your tracks as you think about the two colts.
Nope, not my problem, you shake your head and start walking again. Go get the Ursa and potentially die due to some monster in the forest, see if I care! Canon will keep you two safe anyway! Your footsteps abruptly stop once again as you bite your lip. You’ve already changed canon in so many ways by just being here. What if?...
...
...
...
God Damn It!!! You mentally shout, gritting your teeth as you turn around and rush into the spooky forest after the colts.
Stupid urges to stop anyone from getting hurt! You’ll be the death of me! Nyeh!
You crash through the underbrush, your hobo shoes getting damp and mangled the further you go.
You two aren't getting killed or worse on my watch! Cannon be damned! I swear on Skeletor's name...which is my name...right? You pause and look at your soggy magazine shoes. Of course that’s my name! It’s the only one that matters! My one true self! Nyeh!
You then resume your pursuit, only realizing a little too late that you have no idea where they went. The forest is so thick and dark, they could have been five feet away from you, and you wouldn’t have known. And yet the forest seems somewhat familiar. Crisp trees, cool air. Somehow it reminds you of home, even though you lived nowhere near a forest. And yet a strange sense of Déjà vu permeates you. But before you can think too much on that, you hear a few growls.
Aw Crap, you mumble fearfully as you grip the Havoc Staff tighter and hear the unmistakable sounds of wildlife within the woods. You even smell the distinct nauseating scent of something awful.
AHH! Timberwolves! Begone foul creatures! Begone! You warble as you start pointing your staff in random directions, shooting quick little shots of blue light. On one of the blasts you hear a doglike yelp, and some panicked running.
AAAHHHH!!! You yell as you keep blasting in the direction you heard the yelp come from.
Alright, new plan. Hope for the best, and try to get back to Pinkie’s without dying! Snips and Snails, you’re on your-!
“RRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!” a massive growl permeates the air, followed by two childlike screams.
And I’m out. Thus you do the one plan you know you can count on: A technique passed down one of the most badass lineages of all time...
...Run as fast as you possible can away from the Ursa Minor!
As you run, shredding the rest of your hobo shoes, you hear the large growl getting closer, as well as two ponies shouting. Looking behind you, you see Snips and Snails running as the Ursa Minor chases them down. Noticing that they were going to be overtaken by the bear eventually, you do something stupid.
You stop running long enough to let the two foals run by you. As they do you scoop them up in each hand, hold them between your arms and the Havoc Staff, and start making a run for it. The extra weight of the two foals slows you down a bit, but you somehow manage to out run the Ursa.
“Oh my gosh! Skeletor! You came to save us!” Snips grunts.
Ya ya, Whatever you little brat! You wouldn’t have needed saving if you didn’t-
“Thank goodness. Some weird blue light shot into the cave and woke the Ursa Major up,”
What?! You nearly stumble, but catch your footing. I’m the cause of the rampaging bear? The Minor roars behind you as if in answer.
Shit! I am not on my A Game at all today! Cursing God, the Universe, your bad luck, and Beastman, you force your poor feet to go faster away from the Kaiju. The two foals continue screaming their lungs out, and you’re pretty sure you might be deaf in one ear now, but considering the alternative you think you can live with it.
“Get us to Trixie Mr. Skeletor!” Snips screams.
“Ms. Trixie will stop it!” Snails shouts.
Like Hell She Will! I don’t want to Die! I Don’t Want To Die!
Eventually you break the tree line and make it to town. You see Twilight and your escorts talking to a group of ponies holding pitchforks and torches. For some reason you can't help but feel like they were meant for you. As soon as Twilight spots you she gives you a heavy glare as she yells,
"SKELETOR! Where the hay have you been?! Do you know how much trouble you’re-" You completely ignore her, run by her and the mob, point behind you with a terrified look, and keep on running. When the Minor breaks the tree line, the mob loses it and runs for their lives as well.
Shouts of “Ursa Major!” and “Where’s Trixie?!” ring out through the air.
“AAAAAAAHHHH!!!” you hear a very high pitched girly scream as Foxtrot completely overtakes you in running, leaving an after image in her wake.
The hell?!
“I told you Fox! I told you he wasn’t making it up!!!” you hear O’Carrol call out to his retreating partner. Twilight runs up next to you.
“What in the world did you do?!” she shouts as she magics the staff out of your hands.
Nothing! It was them! All them! You panic and start gesturing to the colts in your arms. Now give me back my-
“We didn’t mean to!” Snips wails, catching Twilight’s attention.
“We just wanted to find an Ursa Major so Trixie could defeat it,” Snails bawls.
“But that’s not an Ursa Major, that’s an Ursa Mi-“ Twilight begins, before she is interrupted by shout of,
“There she is!”
Looking to the side, you see Gilda dumping Trixie on the ground and pointing at the bear.
“Giant Bear! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!” she demands to the beleaguered stage magician.
“What? You pulled me out of my Wagon to stop THAT?!” Trixie gasps in fright.
“Yeah you moron! Just like in your story!” Gilda pressures.
“I…right…of course,” Trixie chuckles nervously and starts trotting towards the bear.
As the Bear marches closer and closer to the town proper a thought rings out through your mind.
Wait, with Gilda here, her wagon didn’t get destroyed. I might still be able to salvage this. Now all we have to do is just wait for all of this to-
“I have to go put an end to this,” Twilight speaks up. “You were right to run Skeletor, there’s no way you could have defeated that thing.” Something snaps in your head at that declaration. All of your early fear, all your common sense and goals of self-preservation get thrown out the window. Back home, this feeling accompanied acts of reckless endangerment, property damage and more often than not, fireworks. But here in Equestria…
Lord Skeletor is No Coward! Nyeh!!!
You come to a complete stop and release the two foals. They look up to you with awe, but you don't notice as you book it back towards the Ursa.
“Skeletor Wait!” Twilight calls out. “What are you doing?!”
With Twilight around this might just work. This has got to be the stupidest idea I've ever had. But if it works...
What idea is this? Well...
Master of Shadows's Comment
You, Skeletor, are going to try and tame the baby Ursa. That way you can have a loyal pet that will stand by your side as you finally defeat He-Man!
I can see it now. He-Man, begging on his knees for mercy as my mighty Ursa Minor comes down and defeats him! Also, I will totally make up for my defeat from Trixie earlier.
As you run back towards where Trixie is about to confront the bear you see that Twilight still looks conflicted on what to do, but something either insane, brave or both is making you face the kaiju.
And now that you have a frame of reference outside the spooky dark woods, it’s really no bigger than many of the buildings in town. It’s not so much Godzilla sized, as it is in the King Kong territory. But even still, Kong was a tough scary S.O.B. But you will not be deterred. You NEED this epic mount!
It’s only when you are more than halfway there that you realize you don’t know how you’re going to accomplish that, and that you don’t have your staff anymore.
Luckily, as Trixie tries and fails to deter the Minor, her lights reveal two white boxes near some trees, and they are buzzing.
Kersey's Comment
Convenient, you think as you rush over to the boxes. Gilda sees you running and flies over to you.
“Skelebro, what’re you doing?”
SCIENCE! You “shout” back at her as you then grunt and lift the lid off the first box and reach in and grab two beehives, one in each hand. Then, predictably, the bees start stinging you.
OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH! WHY DIDN'T I PREDICT A COMEDIC PRICE FOR THIS CONVENIENCE?! WHHHHHHHHY!!?! you mentally scream as you run around with a beehive in each hand.
"Just drop the beehives!" Gilda shouts, but you don’t, you blindingly run while being stung all over towards the Ursa as Trixie screams and flees.
NO! Now's not the time for Nicholas Cage impressions! That comes later! Now's the time to gain an awesome steed to destroy the accursed He-Man with! With that you start ignoring the bees and pleas from ponies to turn back as you confidentially stride towards the giant star-bear with a beehive in each hand.
This Ursa's just a cranky baby right? Then all I need to do is feed him what all bears love most; HONEY! Winnie the Pooh Be Praised!
With that thought you rear back your hand and throw the beehive as hard as you can, the hive goes flying and manages to land on the Ursa's snout. The Ursa pulls back in shock before it’s nose starts sniffing and it’s tongue extends and licks it’s honey covered snout. Soon it's anger and shock is replaced with joy. It laps up and eats the beehive off the ground before it starts looking around excitedly for where that delicious treat came from.
OVER HERE! You mentally yell as you jump up and down waving the beehive above your head.
"What the hay is he doing?!?" a pony exclaims as the Ursa comes closer.
"Has he lost his mind!?!" another says as you hold the beehive above your head, your grin growing with every step closer the behemoth bear takes,
YES! YES! COME TO ME MY FUTURE-AWESOME STEED!
The Ursa stops in front of you, takes a curious sniff, then takes the beehive off your hands in one lick. As the Ursa chews, you take the opportunity to quickly climb up it's leg and mount the back of it's neck like it was a warhorse.
"Is he... riding the Ursa?!" Twilight exclaims in shock.
"Okay... That's bucking awesome," Gilda and Rainbow Dash both say, jaws dropping.
MWAHAHAHAHA! The first part of my army has been acquired! I shall call you Fluffy-McDoomy and together we shall finally conquer Castle Greyskull!
With a crazed smile on your face, you victoriously raise your fists in the air atop your mighty steed... only for said "steed" to think you have more honey in your hands so he stands on his hind legs. This would be adorable... except for 3 things;
1. It's a giant bear
2. It's still a baby and has the coordination of one
3. You're currently on it's back.
As the behemoth stumbles and falls you are sent flying through the air.
CURSE YOU HE-MAN!!!-*THUD*
“OW!” Pinkie cries out as you land on her. Her soft cushy body breaking your fall.
“Are you alright Skeletor?” she gasps as she gets out from underneath you.
You sit up and give her a thumbs up, only then realizing how many stings are on your arms.
And there goes the adrenaline wearing off…AAAAAAHHHHH!!!
And you momentarily black out from the pain, even as the Ursa Minor gets back up and looks curiously at you.
SOMETIME LATER
When you wake back up, you see the Ursa Minor being floated away, as well as the concerned faces of Pinkie, Fluttershy and Gilda staring you down. Trotting over is O’Carrol, but Foxtrot is thankfully nowhere in sight. You ignore their concern in favor and standing up quickly and looking in despair at the distant Ursa.
Nooooo my Ursa! I just got you and now you’re gone already! At least stay so you can eat Svengallop!
You sigh dejectedly but then you realize that your bee stings aren’t soul breakingly painful.
Huh? You gesture to your arms and feel around your face and body.
“Oh, the Ursa Minor breathed some sort of dust on you, and your welts started going away,” Pinkie Pie chimes up.
“Yes, it did something for the stings,” Fluttershy muses.
“Dude, you are freaking nuts you know that?” Gilda admonishes, with both admiration and a look of scolding. You brush them off as you look back at the floating Baby Bear.
We Connected! We Connected and now you’re gone. I guess I can settle for Harry, but it won’t be the same… you lament as tears start to form in your eyes. Your tears come to a stop though when you hear shouting.
“But The Great and Powerful Trixie didn’t do anything!”
You look towards the source of the outcry and see…
Shadow The Fire Spirit's Comment
Trixie with a bunch of ponies frowning and yelling at her to leave. She is hitched to her wagon, and she both looks sad and confused.
“Trixie did not bring that bear here! It wasn’t my fault!" The shouts continue though despite her protests.
Crap! She’s still getting shunned. I saved her wagon sure, but she still might go after the Alicorn Amulet for revenge! But then again, when she comes back I’ll already have the Havoc Staff ready. She will be no match for the great Skeletor! Nyeh heh heh! You go to hold aloft your staff, but then you remember how Twilight took it from you in the confusion.
OH COME ON!!! Damn my self-jinxing nature! Sighing at the loss of your favorite weapon (again), you take another look at the ready to bolt showmare.
...Uh, I better not take any chances though. Not that I am scared of her magicing me into a penguin or anything, I am the mighty Skeletor after all! I am just... your eyes land on Pinkie, Concerned about what could happen to my pink party pony! Yeah, that. Besides, it’s not even her fault this time. It’s not even Snips and Snails. It’s mine…not that I’m going to admit to that, but Trixie doesn’t need an angry mob on her!
"Hey, where are you going?!" You hear the guard with a name that is probably related to wood say as you sprint away from your little entourage.
"Yeah, come back Skelly!” Pinkie adds. You ignore them both for you have to stop an unnecessary revenge plot. Also you do NOT want to go back into the woods tonight.
Trixie has tears welling in her eyes at the accusatory looks of the mob ponies (who you still think might have been for you) but before she has a chance to run, you step between her and the crowd, which shocks everyone.
Trixie looks back up at you curiously, but you give her a kind smile before you turn back to the mob and give each and every one of them a disappointed look and cross your arms as you stare them all down.
Despite your bravado, you are internally panicking.
Damn It! Today Is Not My Day! Why am I facing down a mob with pitchforks and torches? My feet hurt, my epic mount is gone, and I just want this day to be over! And I really regret letting Twilight take my Havoc Staff right about now!
WHAT DO YOU DO?
To ensure that Trixie does not decide to bolt and leave town, you do the tried and true method of scooping up the dog sized mare and holding her wriggling form at your side.
"What are you doing?! Put me down!" she thrashes but you don't.
OCarrol looks at your antics and shrugs as he starts trying and failing to disperse the crowd.
"Alright folks, nothing to see here. Move along."
They of course don't. Eventually, Pinkie, Gilda and Spike come to stand by your side to keep the mob from doing anything drastic.
As Trixie keeps trying to get out of your arms, you cradle her like a baby until she calms down, though she seems embarrassed by the attention all the crowd is giving to the scene.
"Please put Trixie down?"
NEVER!
"Believe me Trixie, when Skeletor likes somepony, he doesn't tend to let them go so easily," Pinkie giggles.
"Yeah, even if it's embarrassing as all heck," Gilda adds.
She even tries to drop a smoke pellet, but you grab it from her hooves and put it into your poncho.
Score! If I can get Trixie to stay, she can supply me with more, and even FIREWORKS! Glorious wonderful fireworks. The wonderful combustible explosive goodness of-
"Trixie is concerned, it's got a weird smile on his face..." she shudders and you focus back on the mob instead of the explosives that constantly got you in trouble back home.
"Don't worry about that. Skeletor always gets deep into thought about random mysterious things that we can't comprehend since the only form of communication with him is drawings," Pinkie hoof waves.
When Twilight comes back, she is rightfully confused.
"What is going on here?"
"The search party we'd gathered earlier for the Creature was angry and trying to kick the showmare out of town, but he intervened."
"Why? This wasn't her fault," Spike speaks up.
"No, but it might be ours," OCarrol says apologetically. "We didn't heed the psychic warnings."
Twilight's eyes Widen in realization.
"The drawing in the dirt earlier...He Saw This Coming!"
"Yes Ma'am. I believe that also."
She then looks at you.
"But why did you run off and steal the staff back from the Library?"
You merely point to Snips and Snails who look sheepish, and they explain how you saved them.
Later, when Foxtrot comes around, she looks shaken and embarrased and apologizes to you. It turns out, she has a deathly fear of giant monsters, and was mocked relentlessly by other Guards for her extreme phobia. That's why she was so upset earlier with your drawings.
Well, the funniest mob I remember is from Monty Python. The one where they have a witch trial.
"She turned me into a newt!"
"A newt?"
"...I got better."
"Hey get out of the way!" One of the stallions in the mob shouts at you, "It's her fault this happened!"
You shake your head and give the mob a glare Look, just because she told a story about defeating a Ursa Major doesn't mean it was her fault annnnd I can't talk. You gesture at the crowd to give you some paper and writing material. They look at you confused.
"U-um here you go," Fluttershy says from next to you. She's holding your notepad and crayons.
You try not to jump from the sudden appearance, Jeez Flutters! You're not supposed to be able to teleport! you graciously take your stuff and start on proving your point.
Your efforts are so grand and amazing that anyone looking at it would say it was an effort that revolutionized modern thinking in a way that proved your eloquence and talent in writing.
Unfortunately, you're facing an angry mob of ponies, in which logic and eloquence have no effect.
"What is that?" One of them asks.
"Dunno," another replies. "I'm kinda acting on herd and mob mentality right now."
"So, get Trixie?"
"Yep." The mob starts shouting angrily and moves towards you.
You have never felt more insulted in your entire life. All of that beautiful work just ignored. You feel this anger build up inside of you until it blows up.
You stomp your foot and let out a raspy snarl, baring your teeth at the mob.
The effect is immediate. All of them wilt under the display from a apex predator and stop in their tracks, looking at you with pure terror.
What the hell was that? You wonder, I've never gotten that angry before, or acted that way. You put it aside in order to find a way to calm everyone down before they regain their courage.
Kazuma alredy said one of the most classic ones lol
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You have the havoc staff now yes part of the plan is working now to get beastman ,
A moment later you snap back to what's going on with the mob.
(I'm just gonna put a time skip here cause can't thank of much to do with the mob in my mind.)
8435715
8436152
You drag yourself home mostly worn out from all the action and then the mob you hope that nothing related to the show happens you need like a few days maybe a week to detox from the chaos that's going on . Then it hits you could you bring here set discord free much sooner ?
This is such a good chapter, though I wanted to smack that pony for destroying Skeletor's notepad.
I think the most funniest mob in TV/Movies is the one from Shrek when they go to attack and possibly capture the ogre with them ending up running away with their tails between their legs.
Pat your self as you automatically look for your sketchbook to help explain or make a point to this angry mob.
Only to stop as you remember what happened to it or who destroyed it, which makes you give the perpetrator of said crime the worst stink eye you have ever managed as you so want to bash their head in for that.
You sigh as you realise it will have to be simple charades again as you use your fingers and hands to focus the now confused but still temperamental mob on you as you sign and show them that Trixie is not to blame as she was not the one to draw the bear to the town.
You point to a certain cowering pair of foals who freeze as you point at them with one hand and make a bunch of gestures with your other hand in an attempt to show them that those two brats were the ones who went into the forest to lure the Ursa Minor so that Trixie could supposedly deal with it from what Trixie claimed to have accomplished on her travels.
As you now point to the now visibly tired and exhausted appearance of Trixie and give your best charade of explanations to show them that Trixie was still tired and was exhausted from most of her Magic from the show she put on and used up earlier that day, especially when she competed against yourself and others.
This you then lead on to try and get across how it would have been impossible for her to combat or deal with the bear in her condition.
You hope you did your best in explanations and somehow have saved Trixie from a bad fate.
8435437
When Snips and Snails explain how it was their fault, just as they start to mention the blue beam waking the Ursa, you throw the smoke pellet that you just got from Trixie at the two colts, and SOMEHOW they actually vanish preventing them from recounting your assistance in waking it.
Double middle finger defense
Just as the angry mob closes in to do harm to Trixie, (and possibly you), you still notice that Twilight still holds your havoc staff in her telekinetic grip. Than you look at the 2 idiots that started this mess. An idea suddenly comes to mind.
"He's got that smile again!!" you hear Foxtrot yell, but you don't care.
Hope this works.
You toss the idiotic duo at Twilight who now focuses her magic on them while momentarily forgetting her grip on the staff. You quickly rush to grab it as you now focus on magicing up a force field seperating you and Trixie (and whoever else is in there) from the angry mob.
Hah, try getting in now, nyeh! No one can stop the Great Skeltor, NO ONE!!!
Also, these funny moments in that one Spongebob episode right here.
My favorite mob scene would have to be the one from the Simpsons movie.
Ok this will be a long one but *deep breath*
On with the show!
As you stand on front of the crowd you put your arms out in a show of defense of the poor mare. The mob being shocked by this get their provoto back as a stallion shouts
"It's her fault that beast came here! She needs to leave!" Many murmurs of agreement are heard from the crowd. However you just simply point to Snips and Snails who were trying to quietly escape but stop in their tracks when every pony turns to look at them. Only for a stallion to say,
"Yeah what about those two?"
You mentally facepalm forgetting they don't know it's those two's fault.
8435477
However you take advantage of their sudden fright an point at your drawing of snips and snails waking up the bear, then you point to Trixie and point towards the town.
"What's he doing?" Said a mare in the crowd.
"I think I understand what he's trying to say," Fluttershy says as she steps in front of you,
"Skeletor is saying that she couldn't have brought the Ursa Minor here because she was in town in her wagon when it came out from the Everfree. And it was those two colts who brought it into town." Fluttershy says with confidence. You nod back to her rapidly, "Yeah you got it Fluttershy! Spot on- ow!" ,only to get a pain in your neck from nodding so fast. However as the mob seems to faulter you hear what sounds like a familiar uptight mare say,
"So what she still had boasted about taking down an Ursa Minor, if she wasn't such a brager she wouldn't have put it into those colts heads, to go looking for one to prove her worth!" Many ponies nodded in agreement and looked back at her seemingly angrier.
"Now wait just a second! I didn't tell them to go look for a giant bear! I was performing! Don't you know that exaggeration is a part of a performance?! How else do you think I gather audiences! Saying I'm the average and normal Trixie doesn't attract crowds or get me bits to eat!" Trixie said stepping next to you with an annoyed look on her face. Half the mob seems to back down at that statement, but it still seems to not be enough. You hear a gasp and look over to see main five (minus Fluttershy as she was at your side) realize she was right and turn their heads down for interrupting her show. But before you could think over that the mare from before steps forward revealing herself to be Spoiled Rich and she proclaims, " It's still your fault that those colts went off and brought a monster into town, I was in the middle of my beauty sleep for Celestia's sake! You are still to be held accountable!" The remains ponies still mad at Trixie step forward with their pitch forks and torches raised higher.
"It's not my fault!" Trixie cries out tears in her eyes as she falls down next to you sobbing. That seems to get the mob to stop in their tracks. " I didn't bring in a bear to try and hurt anypony! All I've ever wanted was to bring joy to anyone who was willing to see my show, but nooo every time I perform it seems there's always somepony who wants to toss me out of town for my 'lame performances' and now I'm being accused of bringing a monster into town and in dangering everypony! The only creature here who enjoyed my show and was willing to defend me wasn't even a pony!" Trixie stands up with her horn glowing dangerously as glares at the mob of now cowering ponies, with tears in her eyes she gives you a look that says thank you before turning back to the crowd. "As far as Trixie is concerned you all can BUCK OFF AND GO TO TARTARUS!!!!" she screams, tears running down her face. Then with a bright flash and a pop Trixie and her wagon are gone.
Hide under the bed.
8435652
As you stare the spots Trixie and he wagon were just at you start to internally freak out "OH SHITE! She's gonna find the alicorn amulet then she's gonna blow up everyone's house and then I'll my marvelous staff taken away for a stupid reason again." As you look at at the floor with sadness and a slight hint of fear you realize everyone is staring at the rapidly changing expressions on your face for some reason.
If all else fails and the mob doesn't back down hug Trixie
Favorite Mob? I'm gonna have to agree with one of the others and say Monty Python, really. Mostly because of the logic. In what other comedy can you hear the (paraphrased) idea of "If she weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood, and therefore a witch!"
With your best death glare on your face, you embrace and welcome the staring this time. As the ponies look at you, some get intimidated and back off. Most, if not a vast amount of them stick around. One of them says "Buck this! I don't have to be this creature's-" and walks forward. Your response is to take a single, fearsome step, which sends that poor soul back into the crowd.
You better run. I'm goddamn Skeletor.
8435652
You look at where Trixie and her wagon disappeared to, and you get this look on your face. A look of consideration, as if you haven't processed what happened yet. Then, you snap.
When you opened your mouth, you expected another piddly little yell, like your curse permits. So, you can imagine the shock when the blood-curdling scream emerges full-force. All of the ponies, every single one, suddenly huddles together in terror as the previously silent human lets loose a raging scream of vengeance.
After it's done, you breathe in and out and try to speak. Of course, it yields no results.
Wow, real good cosmic joke. Let me scream. But speaking? Nah, too much work, am I righ-
You don't even finish your thought as you turn to the townspeople, who are either shocked, scared, or both. Without even thinking, you walk back to the Cake's Bakery, thinking:
Screw this. I'm headin' to bed.
8435882
Seconded.
Also
8436152
As you start to leave however you remember that you have not actually had anything to eat or drink since even before this mess started. So before going to sleep, you'd rather get something in your stomach. Perhaps raid the fridge? A bit late to see if there's a shop open. Plus it would let you clean up a bit, bee stings might be healed but you are not exactly spring clean.
BrownDog77 has the right idea.
Some in the mob start backing off since moments ago you were crazy enough to feed, climb, and ride an Ursa with your bear hands*
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I got nothing else so I'll just repost me and Kazuma Michishige's ideas
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I can't believe I'm using a Rob Schneider movie, but best mob is in The Animal
Especially how they're dispersed later in the movie (can't find the scene on youtube)
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*I regret noth-Gets punched in the head for that terrible pun.
After awaking from a well deserved rest skeletor opens his eyes but not to the room he and pinkie had Shared for a while now but instead he awoke to a cell .
A downtrodden looking Oak and a stern looking Foxtrot glaring at him “ Fox he helped save the town and stopped that mob from hurting that traveling show mare “ he was shushed by foxtrot slightly ticked off “ that may be so But he also terrified the town that sound he made I don’t know what iteas, But it scared them just as much as the it’s he helped drive off “ She sighs.
8439119
You get up from the bed and bang on the bars Let me out of here! I didn't do anything wrong!
Foxtrot looks at you with a somewhat apologetic, but still stern look, "Look, I know you were a big help with the Ursa, but you scared a lot of ponies with that stunt of yours. We need to put you here otherwise there wouldn't be a Sugercube Corner. They were that close to burning the place down because they were that terrified."
You feel your heart sink at hearing this. Did I really scare them that badly? I- You hang your head, feeling pretty miserable.
You hear Foxtrot sigh, "Look, no one got hurt, and the place is still standing. But you need to stay here for a couple days until things die down. For your protection and the Elements." You can feel her grimace, "I hope I never need to see Pinkie cry like that again."
You can't help but fall deeper into your misery. You made Pinkie cry, one of the Unforgivable Sins. You feel like the worst person ever.
"Um, Fox?" You hear Oak say, "Aren't you forgetting something?"
You hear her teeth grind, "I-I was wrong about your psychic abilities, I'm sorry."
"Not that, the other thing! Ya know, that the Princess is coming today because of the report you sent?"
A chill enters the room.
"Oh, buck me." Foxtrot says, "I completely forgot!" She starts ranting and swearing enough you can feel the bars of the prison heat up from how badly they're blushing.
You would join her, but you're too busy moping over making Pinkie cry to do anything.
8436152
What does that scream sound like? The most terrifying sound in the world of course.
"NNNNYYYYYYEEEEEEEHHHHHH!!!!"
It's so loud, and intense even dogs start barking.
8435715
You start to convulse again, perhaps even more intensly than when you realized the Ursa Major was going to arrive. Most of the crowd watches you in shock, but Fluttershy gasps in realization.
You turn to a new page in your notepad and quickly draw a terrible drawing of the Alicorn Amulet on Trixie, then of an evil-looking Trixie standing over Twilight in triumph. The next page shows the town getting covered by that dome with Twilight standing outside of it, and another picture shows Trixie on a golden throne being pulled by Snips and Snails. You conveniently forget to mention how Twilight went to Zecora for help, since they don't seem to have realized she was a friendly zebra yet.
Twilight takes one look at your drawings before looking back at you in shock, but, surprisingly, it was Spike that interpreted your drawings.
"You mean Trixie's going to find an evil magical thing and come back to defeat Twilight before conquering Ponyville and banishing her?!"
You nod vigorously, almost being able to ignore that lingering thought that you may get permenant brain damage from jostling your brain around so much, and the crowd gasps.
Twilight chuckles nervously. "Oh, Spike, he's just, uh, being strange, like he usually-"
"He predicted the Ursa Minor, though!" The more gullible guard called out. "And he's predicted so much stuff besides that! He's totally psychic!"
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Eh, that's all I can think of. Somehow, it'll lead into Greatness's comment, if such a thing occurs.
When’s the next chapter?